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"So you want me to join your little group?" Pietro asks with interest. It's not faked, he's been watching Xavier's actions for a while. "What do I get from it?" He taps his fingers on his knee. He was so tired of bedrest.
"You get to be a part of a shared and better future." Xavier answers gracefully. "Make the world a better place."
Pietro's eyebrows shoot up. "When have I heard that before?" He bites back. "Does your offer also come with murdering people?" Maybe Xavier and Magneto weren't that different after all.
"You know it doesn't, Peter." Xavier answers patiently. "You'll get to save them."
"Yeah. Save people..... Like Stryker?" He asks sceptically. "You know, just because I'm not my father, that doesn't mean I like saving murderers. He's onto something with that."
Xavier looks like he bit into a lime for a second but quickly schools his expression. If Pietro wasn't a speedster, he wouldn't notice. "You wouldn't need to attend those missions then. We save mutants as well, as you know firsthand."
"I know I owe you one." He retors with annoyance. He really has to stop getting arrested and owing people. It's starting to pile up. "Is that the best you can do, really? You can save people?"
It's a tempting thought though. He'd finally do something with his life. No more cockroaching. He'd like to see father's reaction too, just for the hell of it.
Okay, maybe he was still immature at fifty.
"The FBI might be more lenient with you if they see you working with us instead of with Erik." Xavier offers.
Pietro considers that. "I'll take it. What about rent and food?"
"You can live at school for free. And food would be free as well."
"That's a good offer. I'll take it." Pietro smiles. "I'm not good with orders tho. And I've never been on a team."
"We can work with that. It's an honour to have you in the X-Men." Xavier shakes his hand.
"Yeah, yeah. Don't call it that. I don't think I should be tied with you that officially. If we screw up..." He has people to think about.
"There are no official records of the X-Men. You don't have to sign anything so you can....walk away anytime."
"Great. No weird uniforms for me." That's definitely useful. He doesn't like formal employments, he never has. It's hard to keep a job when you can't focus for more than a few minutes. With embarrassment he realises he took a pen out of Xavier's pocket and has been toying with it for a while. He gives it to him. "Sorry.
Xavier takes it back. "There's no need to be ashamed. As long as you return everything."
"I'm trying not to take it. Sorry. I... I can't really resist it. Or control it." He's been struggling with that since he was a kid." He rubs his neck.
"As I said, as long as you return everything, there is no problem. I can talk to the students."
"Thanks." He checks he hasn't taken anything else while he was focusing on the conversation. "That'd be great."
"Peter, what you did today..." Xavier starts.
"I did what was necessary." Pietro rises from the chair. He feels like he's in highschool again when he's sitting against the Professor's strict gaze. He doesn't like that. He feels helpless. "They would have hit Storm."
"There was no need to break that man's arm. The X-Men don't hurt people." Xavier is unusually irritated today.
"Oh, so it's fine that they hurt us?!" Pietro always had a short temper. "He tried to shoot her!"
"And you have easily prevented it. The people will be brought to justice for their crimes. But we aren't judges."
"I know. I'm not judging him. I didn't kill him."
The professor studies him for a moment. "You've hurt him. And you don't regret it." Xavier says finally.
He regretted it now, having to listen to Xavier's whining. "So what? He's alive. As you wanted."
"You can't do that again, Peter. Control your temper. We are trying to show humans a better way. So they can learn." Professor seemed to have infinite amounts of patience for humanity.
Sadly for him, Pietro didn't. "You are trying to show them. They deserve to feel what they do to us." He snarls.
Charles rubs his hand over his face. "Peter, sometimes you sound just like him. You sound just like Erik."
Pietro slams his hand on the table. "Keep your fucking mouth shut about him. I'm nothing like him."
"Then stop acting like him. It starts with feeling righteous. How much will you let it go?" Xavier tries to sound conciliatory but it's clear that he's angry.
"I'm not like him." Pietro says again. "I never killed without a damm good reason. I don't think we're better than humans."
Xavier looks at him with anguish. "I want to help you, Peter. I don't know how to. Did you mean what you just said? About what they deserve?"
Pietro says nothing for a while. Did he mean it? Humans deserved to pay for their crimes. But as individuals, not as all of humanity. "I don't need your help." He says finally. He's tired. It's been a long day, a tiring fight and now a tiring reprimand that's seriously reminding him of endless parent-teacher conferences from his youth.
"Do you truly not regret it?" Xavier asks with worry.
"I'm not one of your pet projects, Professor. Keep that for Logan." He must be getting a migraine. There's a dull pressure on the sides of his skull.
"You are under my care. I only want the best for you." Professor says gently. "Why do you distrust me?"
"I don't appreciate being dissected." Pietro bites back. He touches his temple to get the pain under control. "I do what you tell me to - no killing. I keep the hurting to minimum. Isn't that enough for you?"
The Professor frowns. "I'm sorry, Peter, but it isn't. You agreed to work with the X-Men. You agreed to follow their rules."
"And I do! You didn't have a problem with that before today." His head hurts.
Xavier frowns even more. "Until today you haven't hurt anyone so severely. People notice. It gives us a bad reputation."
"They're experimenting on us, slaughtering us by dozens. Isn't it fair?"
Xavier's face falls. "It isn't fair. But we answer injustice with justice. Not retribution."
"Retribution is justice." Pietro answers stubbornly.
"No. It's isn't." Xavier says firmly. "And that isn't what you truly believe."
The pressure in his head - no, his mind - increases. It's an odd sensation. Like someone is trying to put an inhibitor collar on his thoughts. That fucking bastard. He speeds up his mind as fast as he can until Xavier cries out in pain.
"STAYOUTOFMYHEAD!" He slams his fist on the table.
Xavier doesn't look well. He's pale and looks like he's going to be sick. "Pietro..."
"Shut up. I'm not your toy to control. Stay out of my fucking head." He repeats slower. He feels sick too. His head is throbbing with pain. He didn't think Xavier would do that. He leans on the desk to catch his breath.
"Pietro, please... You must understand-"
"It's Peter. My name is Peter. And I don't care about your bullshit excuses." Pietro had no patience. Especially when someone was apparently trying to make him into a puppet. He straightens again when the nausea passes a bit. He won't look weak in front of Xavier.
"I'm trying-"
"To control me? I know." He folds his arms over his chest. "Do that again and I'll gut you like a fucking fish."
"I'm worried about you. You're far more violent than when you came." There's honest worry in his voice but Pietro doesn't believe him.
"So you get into my head to fix it? Fuck off."
"I'm just trying to protect you, Pietro."
"My. Name. Is. Peter!" He slams his fist on the table with the last word. "And I don't need your protection. I'm fifty, not five."
"The FBI asked me to..give you to their custody."
The air leaves Pietro's lungs. The anger leaves his body. Xavier didn't look like he'd hand him over, but he didn't truly know him. "And?" He suddenly feels so cold.
"I refused." He says plainly.
"They'll come for me." His voice is empty, emotionless. They always came for him. But this time they'd hand him over the Trask Industries and butcher him like the rest.
"They won't. I've...tried to contain it as best as I could. I want to help you, Peter. I am not your enemy."
Pietro didn't trust him anymore. He thought Xavier was different. "I don't want your help, Professor. You are....too much like my father." He says quietly.
Xavier looks at him, hurt. "Peter -"
"I quit." He says, just as quietly. "I'm not bringing that to your door. To the kids. Tell them whatever you want."
"I'm sorry." Xavier looks at him. "I truly am. I only wanted to help you, but I shouldn't have done it like that. I'm sorry, Peter."
Peter stands by the door, hand on the handle. He doesn't want to accept the apology. The Professor tried to get into a place where only he could retreat to. The only one that hasn't been hurt before. "I am also sorry that you did it. Goodbye, Professor."
"Good luck, Peter."
He packs his things in the back of his room. It's not much. He stopped hoarding years ago. It was impractical with constant running.
His thoughts fly back to Wanda. He'd like to see her again, but he can't put her at risk. He can't worry her to death like he did to Mom.
He oddly wonders if Erik would give a shit now. He hurts people around him just like him.
Truly his father's son. He almost vomits at that thought.
He checks his modest belongings. He has no uniform to return. He takes his duct tapes, his Walkman, cassettes and headphones. The room looks almost the same as the day he moved in.
It's depressing.
Saying goodbye is worse.
He doesn't want Logan to worry so he takes a few minutes to compose himself. Finally, he sees him smoking in the garden.
Out of habit, he plucks the cigar out of his hand. "You know, these cause cancer." He says casually. They also smell horribly, but at least they cover up Logan's natural smell. "You sure you wanna die where there might be more pretty girls to save? Or boys, if that's how you swing."
Logan reaches to take the cigar back from Pietro, but he doesn't give in that quickly. He has plenty of time to move to the other side of him. "I guess you do." He gives it back, graciously. "Good job on the mission, you're getting faster." He teases.
Logan takes a drag out of the cigar. "What do you want?"
He was grumpier than usual. "Ooh, grumpy. That's new. I actually wanted to say goodbye. The government called a hunt on me." He shrugs. He hopes that Logan can't read in his face what happened.
Logan turns to him in saddened shock. "You're leaving?"
Pietro doesn't have the heart to tease him about that. "Yes." He gives him a what he hopes is a hopeful smile. "I'm not bringing the feds to Xavier's door too. It's was nice while it lasted but I have to go."
"Where will you be?" Logan asks in concern.
That's enough sappiness for Pietro's impatient self for the day. "Somewhere around. I'll find you if I need you,old man."
Logan nods. "Good luck, kid."
"See you, Logan."
He doesn't let himself cry. He's better off alone. A one man army against the Sentinels. At least there's nobody to criticise his methods.
The hole in his heart grows day by day. There's nobody to stop it from consuming him.