Archive of Our Own

Yuna came from around the corner, catching Shane in a conversation he was having over the phone. She stopped her movements, hanging back, letting him finish before she entered.

Shane laughed, his hand flying his forehead. "You're so stupid."

Shane rarely laughed like that. Who could he be talking to? She dipped a little further into the room out of curiosity.

"Yeah, two days. I miss you, too." 

He turned suddenly, spotting Yuna as she casually walked all the way in, fixing the stack of magazines on the small table to keep her hands occupied. 

"Sure, yeah. I gotta go. Bye," he spoke his last words softly, stared at the phone for a moment before he turned to her. "Hey, mom."

"Hi, Shane." She straightened, motioning toward the kitchen. "Your dad's starting dinner in a minute. You wanna set the table?" 

"Yeah, of course," he flashed a smile at her, walking around her to get to the kitchen.

Her hands remained on her hips as she reviewed the conversation in her mind. He and Rose had broken up. He hasn't been in another relationship since. At least, not to her knowledge. Maybe this was something new? Something that he wanted to keep to himself until he was sure of it? That made the most sense.

Without another thought, not until he was ready, she continued to the bedroom to retrieve her laundry. Shane was in a new relationship that he wanted to be sure about until he revealed it to the world, to his parents, to his loved ones. He deserved that kind of peace.

---

The next time they saw Shane was a lunch they had planned in Montreal while he was between games. He greeted them both as soon as he walked into the restaurant, placing his cellphone on the table as he took his seat. 

He and his father were at the beginning of a conversation about peanuts. Something that Shane had seen on television and that David found interesting. His phone buzzed and he immediately picked it up to respond to whomever it was from. It wasn't rude. His parents had gotten used to that behavior. Shane was a wanted person, popular, that fact due in part to Yuna's relentless pursuit to get him involved in campaigns with clothing brands, watches, energy drinks. 

What was unusual was the way he smiled as he read the words on his read, typing quickly to respond. "Sorry," he apologized.

"No, don't be," Yuna told him as she half perused the menu in front of her, half paid attention to the way her son was paying attention to his phone. 

He folded his lips together as he stifled a laugh, responding again. Then, it started ringing. "Sorry," he apologized again, already pushing back the chair. "I have to take this." He lifted the phone to his ear as he walked away from the table. "What exactly couldn't wait? I'm having lunch with my parents. Remember? I told you..." his voice trailed as he walked toward the door to stand outside.

Yuna glanced over at David, catching his eye. "What?" he asked. 

She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath as she considered telling him. "No, nothing," she said instead, looking back at the menu. 

David returned his gaze to the bread rolls in front of them, reaching in for one.

Yuna was able to see Shane through the window. Watching him as he held the phone close, laughing, smiling at the conversation he was having. Curiosity was eating away at her but she still held to the thought that this news was Shane's to share and she wouldn't push it. 

Shane came back in a few minutes later, phone back on the table. 

"Shane," she started. "Is there anything new going on with you?" 

Okay. So she needed to push it a little bit. 

She kept her tone light, not wanting to push further than this. Just a series of questions that will allow him to tell them whatever information they needed to know.

"Um," he thought. "No, there really isn't anything. I guess I'm buying this new protein powder some of the guys are using?" 

She didn't want to find out about protein powder. But this is the way the conversation was heading. David's eyes lit up and she knew that the digging she'd been planning on doing this lunch would have to wait. They had protein powder to discuss.

---

"If you don't fucking stop --" Shane giggled on the phone. Giggled. 

Yuna had been coming back from her walk through the woods at the cottage. She was just turning the corner to walk around to the back door when Shane had been there, talking on the phone. 

"You'll come next time. I promise. I didn't want to be here without you but you had that game scheduled." 

Game. Maybe he's dating another athlete? The women's divisions were active this season. There were plenty games happening at this time. It could be any sport. 

"No, I know. My mom thought you hurt your ribs." She searched her memory. When had she made a comment about a women sports event? It was so specific, too. "You didn't, right? At least ice them." 

It must have slipped her mind because Shane clearly remembered it. 

He leaned over the balcony, sighing. "Yeah. Yeah, me too." He laughed again, loudly. "I love you, too, asshole." The word asshole had the sting taken out of it by the way he had spoken it, softly, fondly. "Yeah, I'll call you tonight, okay?" 

Yuna decided to make her presence known as a way of shaking herself out of her own shock. She purposefully stepped on a few branches as she walked in the direction of the door. Shane quickly schooled his features and changed his tone of voice as soon as he spotted her.

"I gotta go. Yeah, talk later." He quickly ended the call, stuffing his phone into my pocket. "Hey, mom."

"Hi, honey," she smiled a tight smile and paused for a moment as she looked at him. Taking a deep breath, she walked up to him, folding her hands in front of her body to stop her from reaching out to him. "You know, you can tell me anything, right? I mean, there's --" she chose her words carefully, not wanting to spook or scare him. As it was, he already looked a little apprehensive, his eyes downcast as if trying to avoid her stare. "There's nothing you could say that would make me stop loving you."

"Mom," he groaned.

"What?" 

"That's a little dramatic," he mumbled, glancing up at her. There was fear there. A fear of what, she was unsure. 

"I mean it, Shane," she repeated, making sure that she was clear, exact, and direct. "You can tell me."

He paused at that but only for a moment. He looked up at her then, nodding. "I know I can. Thank you." 

"Sure, honey." 

He walked past her, entering through the door, and closing it behind him. That had been the closest she had come to saying "I know you're hiding something and I don't know what it is, but I'm here for you, whatever it is." But she didn't say that. Shane had always been private, closed off, ever since he was young. That was the way he processed things. He internalized them. She also knew that that hadn't always been good for him, having no place to go with things like your emotions and your feelings. So she did her best to pull him out of those moments.

It made her sad to think that whatever this was, he couldn't share it with her. Not yet, anyway. She had to be patient, she told herself. She had to be patient and wait until he was ready with whatever this news was. But she had heard him and he loved this girl, whoever she was. He was that deep in his feelings that there was already love there. She could wait for him however long it took.

---

"Yuna, he isn't expecting us," David pulled his suitcase, rolling it down the hall toward Shane's door.

"I know. But he's at practice. I'm sure he wouldn't mind us coming a little early. That's why he gave us the key, remember?" 

With that thought, David nodded, and followed his wife to the door. 

She opened the door with the key, observing the quiet apartment. It looked like no one was home just as Shane had promised. 

"If you weren't so eager to go to the bedroom, I wouldn't have lost it." A deep, accented voice started walking their way, soon followed by the owner of it. Ilya Rozanov. 

He came into the room, shirtless, just a pair of sweatpants on as he stared at both Yuna and David who stared back at him. 

"Excuse me? I think you were the eager --" Shane followed right behind him, freezing in place when he saw them. He was wearing a similar outfit, shirtless and a pair of black shorts on. 

The four of them stood there in silence and shock. Leave it to David to knock them all out of it.

"We're sorry," he apologized immediately. "We're early. We'll come back." He reached for Yuna's arm, already pulling her back towards the front door.

"Wait," Shane spoke, taking a step in front of Ilya, and taking a deep breath. "Will you guys have a seat? I need to tell you a few things." 

"Of course," Yuna found her voice, already walking to the couch to have a seat. 

"We'll be back." Shane turned, lightly pushing Ilya toward the stairs to his bedroom. 

"Do you want me to leave?" they heard Ilya say, the both of them speaking quietly know that they had company. 

"No, of course not. I'm going to tell them, okay?" 

"Are you sure, malysh?"

"Yeah, yeah. It's about time I do this. Come on."

Shane closed the door behind them and Yuna put her face into her hands. David placed his hand on her back, rubbing slowly. "I don't believe this."

"It's okay, Yuna. Shane will explain everything."

David had such unrelenting faith in their son. She did, too, but she worried. It wasn't even that he was gay. It was who he has chosen for his partner. Does he treat him well? A million thoughts were flashing through her mind. Thoughts of leaving some club or event with a new beautiful woman hanging off his arm, thoughts of him chirping across the ice, comments that always pushed a little too far, just a little on the side of mean. 

"It's Ilya Rozanov," she whispered, looking over at him. His mouth is in a straight line, simply nodding his head to agree with her. "How can it be him?"

"I don't know, honey. Let's just hear them out."

She nodded, still hanging her head as she waited for Shane to return.

They appeared at the top of the stairs a few minutes later, both dressed now. Rozanov in a white shirt, same pants. Shane in a black shirt, same shorts. He turned to look behind him, reaching for Rozanov's hand as they walked down the stairs and to the room. They took a seat on the couch, taking a look at each other, fingers linked and resting on Shane's thigh. Rozanov looked small as if he was trying to shrink into the couch. Shane looked confident, sure. He stayed silent as if searching for the right words. 

"I'm gay which..." he turned to look at Rozanov. "Okay, that part's probably obvious. I'm gay and I'm in a relationship with Ilya," he stated clearly, the tone in his voice booked no room for argument. He was making a statement and he didn't falter from it. "I'm just sorry that I waited this long to tell you. I didn't mean for you to find out this way. I wanted to do it gradually." He smiled, but it held no humor in it. "I didn't really know the right way to do this."

"There is no right way or wrong way," she chimed in, needing to say something to him so he wouldn't think the worst of them or himself. "Everyone does it in their own time."

"Yes," David spoke, backing her. "We're proud of you, son. We're always going to be proud."

That made Shane falter, tears rising in his eyes quickly. He lifted his free hand to brush them away. Rozanov untangled their hands to lift his to the back of Shane's neck, squeezing gently. Shane took in a few deep breaths. Yuna and David wanted to be patient with him to make sure he got out everything he needed to. 

"It was just really hard," he said next, his voice sounding rough and tight. "I always wanted to be perfect. I tried really hard not to be, but I couldn't help it," his voice broke as he looked at the both of them and then down towards the ground. Rozanov's hand remained steady, sliding to his back to rub in slow circles. 

"Please don't apologize for that, Shane." She cautiously moved so that she was kneeling in front of him, trying to catch his eye. "All you have to be is you. Okay? That's all. I promise. I'm so, so sorry if I made you think otherwise. I'm so sorry," she held her hand against her chest, tears rising in her own eyes at the pain expressed in Shane's. The impact of it made her feel incredibly low. 

"Mom, come on," he placed his hands on her arms, helping her up so she was seated on the couch beside him. He wrapped her up, holding on tightly. "It's okay," he spoke quietly. 

"I'm sorry. Can you possibly forgive me?" she asked, her face buried against his shoulder. 

"I forgive you." He spoke, squeezing her once. "I forgive you." 

She pulled back slowly, tears slipping down her face and Shane's. She brushed his tears away with her fingertips. "My boy," she whispered, chuckling and wiping her own tears away. 

Shane chuckled, sighing as he turned to look at Rozanov. He leaned back and pressed their temples together, Shane closing his eyes as he took comfort. Rozanov turned his head to kiss Shane's cheek once and then again. 

After that heavy, emotional moment, Yuna returned to her seat across from them, and gave a tight-lipped smile to David who wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to him. 

"So," she began, clearing her throat, and smiling at the two of them. "How long has this been going on?"

They looked at one another, having a silent conversation that resulted in a few nods and motioning for the other to go ahead. "Depends," Shane started. "I guess you could say that it's been going on since our rookie season."

"Since your rookie season?" she couldn't help but say immediately. It just came out of her with no hesitation. Shocked and surprised weren't even the words she'd use to begin to describe how she felt at this relevation.

"No," Rozanov interrupted, looking at Shane. "Since summer before." 

"Ilya," Shane sighed, hanging his head.

"What? Draft day, remember?"

Lifting his head once more, Shane changed his statement. "Summer before rookie season."

Rozanov smiled at the change in tone, proud. After a few more initial questions and lunch, the boys really did have to go to practice. Shane's was about an hour after Roza -- Ilya, as he corrected both Yuna and David -- Ilya's. The two of them stood by the front door, speaking in hushed tones, but Yuna could hear as she continued cleaning the kitchen.

"Just come back here later. They already know," she heard Shane say.

"I want them to like me. I don't want their first impression of me to be defiling their boy."

"Ilya!" Shane turned around to look at the kitchen. Seeing Yuna starting to wash the dishes, the faucet turned on to drown out the sound of their voices. "I have a door, you know. We'll keep it locked."  Yuna could see Ilya pondering it. She moved around so that she could give them a bit of privacy but the space was so open she couldn't help but hear everything. "Come on, please?"

"You beg so pretty," Ilya leaned in for a brief kiss. "We only have the day so yes. I come back later."

"Okay. See you after we beat you."

"Mm. I think you mean you'll see me after we beat you."

"Okay, leave." Shane started to push him out the door, laughing. Ilya paused for a moment and turned around to face him again. They kissed in the doorway, Ilya's hand coming up to cup the back of Shane's neck. Another kiss and Shane had his hand on the door.

"Love you," she heard Ilya say. 

"I love you. Text me." Shane opened his front door, closing it behind Ilya. He leaned against it for a moment, closing his eyes. Pushing himself off, he started to walk toward the kitchen. "Sorry, mom. I know you heard all that."

"Shane, don't apologize. You're a grown man. This is your apartment. Your father and I are just guests here, okay?" she put away another dish that she just finished washing, Shane coming over to help.

"He wants you to like him," he said, taking a dirty dish from the pile and putting it in the sink. It gave him something to do with his hands, something to concentrate on to help the words come out. 

"We're getting to know him. We're getting to know him as your boyfriend and not the menace that we've known him as over the years," she snuck a glance at him. He smiled, looking back at her.

"He's great."

"I can tell he cares about you very much." She didn't use the word love. Not yet. That word was for them to use between them. 

"He does. I care about him." He paused for a moment, in the middle of a dish when he turned to look at her. "I know today was a lot. You guys probably have a lot of questions. But thank you for accepting us."

"Honey, you don't have to thank us for that. We will always love you no matter what. And if Ilya's part of that, then we'll love him too." She wiped her hand on a towel and gently squeezed his arm. 

"It feels really good not to hide anymore," he admitted. "We call each other all the time."

"I was wondering who it was you were on the phone with."

"Wait, you heard?"

"Bits and pieces. I just thought you were seeing someone casually and you'd tell us when you were ready. I never imagined that it'd be Ilya."

"No. You guys were too busy trying to set me up with Swedish princesses," he smirked.

"Hey!" 

They both laughed, returning to their task before Shane had to leave for practice. David was in the guest bedroom, taking a nap when Yuna came into the room. She walked over to the window overlooking the city. The sun was in the distance, beginning its evening descent. It was a day of firsts, of newness. Shane had expressed his sexuality for the first time, opening up to them both for the first time. So much time hiding himself and loving in secret. But not anymore. She was determined to love him through every moment of his life.