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Percy always knew he liked boys. He couldn’t really think of any specific moment when it clicked for him.
Maybe it was the first time he saw Luke Castellan, with his bright blonde hair and that scar that went from above his eyebrow to just below his pale blue eye. It could’ve been when he first met Grover, with his lovable personality and those big, round eyes, but even before that he knew.
And he sure as Hades knew it now, staring at Jason as he sat on his bed, polishing his sword in such a way that it almost looked like…
He tried to not let himself imagine too much.
Admittedly, Percy had had an eye for Jason for a long time. He loved the way he could do anything with him without judgement, and how chill Jason was. He was so easy to be around. Not to mention, he totally had a thing for blondes.
“What’re you looking at?” Jason asked, willing his sword into shrinking back to a coin and shoving it into his pocket.
Percy allowed his eyes to meet Jason’s for a moment. “Oh, me? Nothing, sorry.”
Jason nodded slightly before lying down on his bunk. Percy involuntarily gave a glance downward, but upon seeing Jason’s lifted shirt and the thin line of pale hair led from his belly button downward, he could hardly tear his eyes away.
A small blush tinted the tips of his ears pink, and he forced himself to look somewhere else.
When he finally got a hold of himself, he put his head in his hands and sighed deeply.
Jason shot a look at the boy sitting on the floor. When he sees that he isn’t looking, he gets a bit exasperated. “Dude, what’s wrong?”
Percy shakes his head and leans against the wall. “I told you, nothing!” He defends, not daring to look at Jason, because he knows he’ll freak out all over again if he does. “Just, uhh… tired.”
Jason didn’t seem very convinced. He stretched and groaned slightly as he stood up, and some part of Percy was convinced that he was doing this all on purpose.
He padded softly to sit next to Percy on the floor, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Come on, what’s really going on?”
Percy’s brain short circuited. He wasn’t quite sure why, really, because Jason had touched him before, but he was sure that his hands weren’t always so warm. And that they didn’t usually make his stomach feel so warm. And somewhere beneath his stomach, too?
“Oh, uh, nothing,” Percy squirmed awkwardly, trying to adjust his jeans discreetly. “Like I said, I’m great!”
“Uh huh…” Jason spoke slowly, watching his friend wiggle around dumbly. “And, look, I know you’re the son of Poseidon, but why are you acting like a fish?”
The way Jason said it, like he wasn’t even trying to be funny, caught Percy off guard. It made him let out a small laugh and shoot him a small look.
Jason’s lips upturn in a slight smile. He was glad to be able to help with whatever made Percy act like a fish. “Seriously though, are you okay?”
“Yeah, just—“ Percy managed between laughs. “Who even says that?”
He shrugged slightly, and Percy returned his smile. Jason gave up on trying to figure out what was wrong, assuming he’d find out at some point anyway. He lifted his hand off of Percy’s shoulder and allowed it to fall into his own lap.
“But, Percy?” He began, waiting for his full attention to continue. “You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you, yeah?”
Percy just nodded. For a small, quiet moment in Jason’s room, his thoughts screamed at him. He found it funny, almost, how Jason was the easiest person in his life to trust, and yet somehow the one person he definitely could not tell.
The worst part was that usually, sitting next to Jason felt so, so normal. Percy had spent enough time with him that being this close shouldn't have felt like anything at all.
Eventually, they fell into normal conversation. They talked about their quest, Camp Half-Blood, Camp Jupiter, and whatever else came to mind. The rest of the afternoon in Jason’s room was filled with quiet laughter and small sighs.
Every time that Jason got closer, and every time he pulled away, Percy got these funny feelings in his chest.
Jason yawned and looked out of the round window in his room, feeling slightly unsettled by the dark sky meeting the water.
“I think I might go to sleep now, Percy,” Jason spoke as he stood, before extending a hand to the son of Poseidon to help him stand as well.
Percy took it and quickly pulled himself up, nodding slightly. He couldn’t argue that sleep didn’t sound great right now. “Yeah, I might, too. See you tomorrow, dude.”
Jason stopped for a small moment, still holding Percy’s hand. “See you tomorrow,” he smiled slightly before letting go and turning away, walking to his bunk.
Percy stayed stationary. “Jason?” He called out, instantly regretting it.
Jason hummed in response, a small ‘hm?’ that Percy almost missed. For a a small, stupid moment, he considered telling him. He opened his mouth and closed it again, like a fish out of water.
I like you.
Those three words sat uselessly behind his teeth, at the tip of his tongue, begging to be spoken. He could tell him right now. Get it over with, at least? Maybe Jason would understand. Surely he would. But, then again, maybe he wouldn’t? Maybe—
“Never mind,” Percy mumbled.
Jason eyed him suspiciously, but didn’t press him on it any more than he already had. “Night, Percy.”
“Yeah, goodnight.”
Percy slipped out of the room and shut the door with a quiet click. He leaned his back against the hallway wall and let his head loll back into it.
He was so, undeniably, obviously screwed. But despite that, he couldn’t stop smiling.