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He wasn’t sure why you were there. Zack was wrapped up, still healing, and he wasn’t sure why you were there. Didn’t Dr.Brennan tell you? Didn’t Booth tell you? Didn’t the media shout it from the rooftops, dragging his name through mud and filth and interview his mourning family?
Didn’t anyone tell you?
Zack watched you, watched you reading a book by his bed with his eyes barely open, wondering why you were there, wondering why you weren’t running and screaming. Maybe nobody had told you, that had to be the reason, right?
He called your name, startling you, “Nobody told you?” And you, oh God, you just cocked your head to the side and leaned toward him. Zack felt his heart swell, blinking away tears, when you smiled and sighed, putting your book to the side. Oh, God, they had told you. They had told you and you had visited him just to tell him how much you hated him.
That had to be the reason you were there, right? To Zack there was no other reason for you to be there, to be laying your hand gently on his arm, to be saying his name and catching his attention. You were crying, then, wiping at your eyes, asking Zack what he was thinking and apologizing and crying and wishing you had seen it, figured it out, been able to help him because maybe he wouldn’t be where he was, wouldn’t be going where he was going.
You cried, oh, God, you cried and Zack could only watch. His heart ached and he cried and he tried to reach out to you but he couldn’t because he had balls of gauze over his scorched skin and Zack could feel regret seeping out of every pore of his body, anger flooding his eyes and pouring over his cheeks. He had messed everything up, everything. He had loved you, cherished you, and he was lead of course by a serial killer!
Zack Addy, in that moment, wanted to die. He wished he had hesitated for only seconds more, so the explosion was more intense, more visceral.
More fatal.
Zack Addy wished he had died, but in the moment you bent to kiss him, the moment you apologized for everything that had happened, you apologized for not being able to stay with him, he wondered if maybe, just maybe, everything wasn’t fucked.