Actions

Work Header

Then I Open My Eyes

Summary:

David gets lost in his music as he thinks back to some memories he has of Syd

Notes:

I haven't written anything in months, but I felt like finally putting something out there again just to get back at this (and to remember Syd today). The story doesn't really have much plot and is loosely based off my own interpretation of the song "On An Island". Therefore, this is entirely fiction and the result of my daydreaming. It feels so good just to be writing again, and I really hope to post some other stuff soon!

Syd Barrett: 6 January 1946 - ∞

Work Text:

The boy in front of him was giggling maniacally as he raced towards the bright new installation to the small park near their home. It was a new swing set painted a vibrant yellow with light green accents. Grinning broadly, he sat down upon one of the wooden seats and laughed.

"Come on, Fred!" Syd urged David to run faster to join him. David wanted to pout, but that seemed impossible when he took in the sight of the contagious smile that glowed from Syd’s face.

Eventually, they both were sitting down and panting lightly to catch their breaths as they slowly rocked back and forth. David studied the way Syd’s breath seemed to dissipate into the crisp fall air. He could almost imagine all the colours of the rainbow gently swirling and mingling with each exhalation, floating around and caressing everything they came into contact with.

Neither of them spoke. It was one of the rare days where they just seemed to understand each other’s presence. Not on a substantially deep level, but on a level of trust and friendship, even at a tender age. A gentle smile was framing Syd’s face, his green eyes firmly gazing into David’s own blue eyes.

David noted how peaceful and happy the scene was, yet there was something missing. Something was not complete, yet he could not quite put his finger on the feeling. It was as if there was always an unmistakeable and unavoidable air of sadness behind those green orbs and dark chocolate hair. A facade of contentment covering something lurking beneath, but he could not consider it any longer because the person in question was now sprinting away to the vast corridor of the abandoned city.

David stumbled getting off the swing as he tried to jump off to follow Syd. He turned to look back, only to notice that the set was now faded, chipping, and rusted. A symbol of the past. He furrowed his brow as he began to jog lightly on Syd’s trail. He pondered the boy’s mysticism as he traced the glowing white footsteps that seemed to be imprinted in time on the ground beneath him. Eventually, they led him to a small church on a deserted street. He slowed down to regain a normal breathing pace before gently pushing one of the massive wooden doors open. The creak it made broke the silence, but once it had been closed, the same eerie stillness that seemed to have engulfed the entire city resumed. He squinted in the dark light to see a faint glow at the front of the church, so he carefully started to inch closer, being sure to not disturb the sound of silence in his wake.

When he came close enough, he realised that there was a candle glowing softly. It framed the smooth outline of a familiar figure and draped it in black from behind. David didn’t know what to do or how to react to the situation, but luckily, he wasn’t the one who had to break the silence.

"It seemed like one moment my father was here, and the next…" Syd’s voice held no expression, yet every word was said clearly and precisely, as if with a strong meaning. David suddenly realised that a dark casket rested in from of them. Hundreds of flowers and greens and other plants surrounding it seemed to be a sharp contrast to its bleak presence. David just stood behind Syd, not knowing what to do or say. Syd turned slightly and let the candle frame the outline of the side of his face. David watched intently as a tear could be seen glowing in the orange bath of light, and he slowly moved forward to wrap his arms gently around the small boy. 

Syd was crying harder now as David just held onto him. His arms slowly slinked around David’s own torso, and he buried his face into the soft fabric of David’s peacoat. The room seemed so much larger then and each breath seemed to bounce and rebound upon every surface, which only served to amplify the agony and make each pained sob last an eternity.

David wasn’t too sure how long they remained there, but Syd at last restored composure. He slowly let his hands brush away from David’s sides. Those green eyes had become foggy and pale with more age surrounding them on his delicate features. There were no poetic phrases or witty remarks made. It seemed like the world had been reduced to only a paler version of itself, taking all the sounds and memories of living with its past self. 

And then he was running. Syd sprinted from his place before the altar and pushed both floors open with full force. David was frozen in place by the coldness of the time as he watched the light fade in the crack of the closing door. He turned to look at the coffin once more, but it had been replaced by a supreme and overruling darkness. Nothing remained except the faint smoke that spiralled up from the cold candle in the few whims of light wisping in from the decreasing gap. With a final bang, all light was sucked from the frigid room, and David was left to feel his way towards the exit. Desperately wanting to escape the suffocating memory, he finally felt the cool brass handle that was his gateway to the lifeless street lying in wait outside. 

A thick haze had now settled upon the city as he squinted out the door. All the buildings looked sunken and depressed on the damp road he set foot on. The door to each building was shut and the window shades were all drawn. There were no vibrant colours anymore. They had all been obscured by some perpetual fog that swallowed all sense of being up with it. However, as David walked along, he noticed that same figure that he had grown so accustomed to seeking out towering on the shoreline of the harbour with its arms outreached to the heavens, as if beckoning them to take hold of him and pull him into their swaddling arms.

As David grew closer, he could make out barely audible snippets of singing coming from the shadowing figure. A sad smile crept upon the corners of his mouth when he recognised the words Syd was singing.

"Lime and limpid green, a second scene. A fight between the blue you once knew…" Syd was staring up at the sky with wandering eyes, yet without even having to look at him, Syd took notice of David being there and smiled.

His singing faded out as he turned to face David, green eyes imploring blue. "Aren’t they beautiful, David? Enchanting, radiant, seductive…"

David couldn’t break the stare into Syd’s eyes. The way the stars glowed about and radiated in them almost seemed more realistic and awe-inspiring than the actual sight. David thought the descriptions of the sky were more fitting within Syd himself.

Syd turned back to where he had been when David had first come upon him and extended his arms once more, closing his eyes. "Just close your eyes and imagine, David… imagine soaring high upon the breezes and being cast off into the sky. You could endlessly spend you days circling the planets, becoming entwined with their gravitational pulls… Gradually, you would gain speed and collide with other meteorites and stars that stood in your way… your blood would be cast off into the sky, reflecting and absorbing all the lustrous, effulgent colours bouncing off you in all directions… A million colours bleeding out from your own blood… and the blood becoming engulfed in your own pull and you becoming your own galaxy within the stars…."

David had closed his eyes and nearly floated away on the whims of Syd’s astronomical thoughts. They were a bit erratic, but he liked to believe that they still captured some sense Syd had long ago lost within himself. David felt two hands begin to melt around his neck and shoulders, and heat and energy reflected onto his own being from the poet who slowly seemed to blend their existence together. He didn’t dare open his eyes, but he carefully brought his own hands up to rest on Syd’s slender hips as their bodies became impossibly close standing on the damp seashore. David could taste Syd’s warm breath of peppermints and cherry candies mingle with his own.

And then Syd was speaking. Softly. It was more felt than heard, but they both knew the truth behind it.

"I love you…"

David inhaled, but instead of meeting those sweet, candy lips, he was only met with the shocking sting of cold air. His eyes flew open as the last notes of his dying song reverberated throughout the empty room. Looking out of the window on his boat, David then could have sworn he saw a familiar shadow standing on the shoreline. Something so foreign and impossible, yet so real and tangible. He blinked away a single tear, but the image only seemed to disappear with the splatter of the warm droplet on the unforgiving wooden floor. David could do nothing but long for things to be different because the history was already written, and he couldn’t take it back. Instead, he just swallowed and exhaled something that he knew would only manage to fall on the deaf ears of silence. Dreamers may leave, but they’re here ever after.

"I love you too, Syd…"