Chapter Text
Sirius messed up bad. So, so bad. There everything went, in the blink of an eye he was on top of the world, now he couldn’t be lower. James refused to talk to him, Peter ignored him, Lily gave him pained looks in the hall, and Remus, Remus, was gone.
Sirius walked into transfiguration and took a seat next to James. “Please, just let me explain, apologize-“
“Quiet, Mr. Black,” Professor Mconagall scolded him. Snape, that idiot Snape, knew that Remus was a werewolf and it was all Sirius’ fault. He just had to go and pull a “funny” prank and now Remus was in danger. It was all his fault. It was all his fault.
“Mr. Black?” Professor Mconagall snapped him out of his thoughts.
“Yes…?” He replied, panicked.
“Can you transfigure this quill into an inkwell?” She asked him sternly. He proceeded to panic and turn the quill into a cigarette. “I’ll come back to you, Mr. Black, anyone else? How about Ms. Evans?”
He zoned out for the rest of the class and thankfully Minnie didn’t pick him again, he probably would have turned the quill into a piece of chocolate next.
—
Transfiguration was last class that day, so Sirius decided to go on a walk around castle grounds, anything to avoid thinking about Remus. Though that was nearly impossible.
“Mr. Black, may I speak with you in my office?” Oh dear, Sirius thought. What did he do now? Professor Mconagall was probably going to re-teach him that entire lesson as a punishment for not paying attention.
He walked along the stone floors into Mconagalls office. “Have a biscuit,” She instructed him while gesturing for him to sit.
“Professor I promise I didn’t do any-“
“You’re not in trouble, I’d just like to speak,” she told him while pouring cups of tea for them both. “I heard you trying to talk to James, and I know what has happened. I know how cross Remus is with you. I want to know how I can help.”
At the mention of Remus’ name he struggled to hold in tears, eventually breaking into sobs by the end of her sentence.
“I screwed up so bad and I’ve lost all my friends, I’ve lost Remus, I can’t live like this anymore, I can’t live without Remus, I love Remus!” The words were coming out a mile a minute and Sirius’ head was spinning faster than he could process.
“Breath. Things will get back to normal, just give him time. I know it’s hard right now but he will see through it all and you’ll be okay again. You must give him time. You did mess up, so don’t expect him to forgive you in an instant.” Professor Mconagall consoled him.
“I know, but it’s been weeks, I miss him. I miss everyone…” He confessed.
“Give him space. You may come to me to talk anytime you need, Sirius. Now drink your tea, it’s getting cold.” She ordered him in a lighter tone, probably trying to cheer him up.
He drank his tea and ate his biscuit, and was out of her office just as the sky was turning pink.
Sirius walked up the stairs of the boys dorm, shielding his face with the hood of his cloak, preparing to avoid all his dorm mates. He creaked open the door, finding the dorm deserted.
“Huh…?” He murmured as he peaked into the bathroom and behind each set of four poster beds. “Might as well fall asleep while they’re out, not have to deal with them.” Sirius said under his breath, getting out his pyjamas.
After getting ready to sleep he lied down and stared at the ceiling. He rolled on to his side, his mind racing, large sobs soon falling out from his rapidly rising chest, stealing his breath away. He needed to fix this. He couldn’t just sulk and cry forever, he’d done that long enough, the past three weeks, in fact. But for now Sirius drifted to sleep.