Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Gotham reminds Loki of a living corpse.

It is a festering, sickly thing, that knows it is dying, but refuses to let go. Every breath of its lungs comes with a rattle, like that of a snake in the underbrush. Its venom had long bitten the humans that lay prey there and taken root in their blood. It feeds off of the memories, dreams, and fates that have been snatched away from the people who have the misfortune of living there. This sickness permeates into everything it touches. The one good thing about Gotham is that it is an island, isolated off the coast, the way a contagious creature should be.

And It has made Loki more paranoid than he has ever been in his entire life.

-

OCT 2nd

When It first approached him, it was without warning. Loki had been speaking with the Fool, attempting to make sense of his repeated ramblings. Every conversation comes back to what was stolen from him, what was rightfully his- or Alessandra. Always her. How kind she had been, how much life she had ahead of her, how sorry he is for what they did. Never what happened to her. And never what Loki had actually asked about, such as Where is Parker?

The frustration only served to make him less mindful of where he was- it only mattered in that moment that Ohnn had messed up. He lost the Parker child before they had even started. Sure, these two morons had no idea that Parker was Spider-Man, but Loki did, and Loki is not looking forward to the hell that this was about to bring them.

If he did not know any better, he would say that the man did it on purpose. Those shifty eyes of his have always made Loki uncomfortable- he is unaware if what comes out of the man’s mouth is a lie he tells himself to keep some semblance of his humanity, or a desperate, terrible truth.

He wanted to be impatient, to get inside Ohnn’s mind and find out what happened that way; but the last time he tried it, Loki had nearly gone insane himself. Ohnn’s mind is no longer his own, shared with the snake that bit him and turned him into this monster.

He thought the fear that someone was watching him was an easily dismissed anxiety, one he was only feeling because of the gravity of his plan. Every time the wind whistled through the boarded up windows, Loki swore he heard a whisper in his ear.

And then it was no longer just a feeling of eyes tracking his every move.

It was breathing down the back of his neck, and Loki needed to run.

Panic gripped him so severely and suddenly that he could not breathe. Instinct took over any rational thought. Loki fled, leaving Dr. Ohnn behind. (This moment would be forgotten by Ohnn the next time Loki visited him.) He ran through Gotham's unfamiliar streets like fire was on his heels. He took sharp corners and sank into shadows, but nothing would shake off his pursuer. It took him too long to realize just what was chasing him, and that it would not be satisfied until he left Gotham altogether.

And so, he had broken through the fabric of time and space for the second time that evening.

He ran so fast and without clear direction that he had almost gotten lost inside the web. He only made it home because he had been forcibly redirected once again by the Designer. When he finally made it back, Loki crumpled to the ground in a dirty- awfully sticky- New York alleyway. His heart battered against his ribs as though it wanted to jump right out of him.

He never saw It. There was no shadow following close behind that did not belong to him. It did not speak to him, either. There were no whispers that hissed of his early demise. No promises to make it happen. But he knew It was there, and what It meant.

“GET OUT.”

Gotham had been watching him, and It is not any fan of his.

-

It is more likely to be a curse that has gained sentience than it is a being with a history or a name. Loki has seen such entities before. They are pitiful things with no belonging, only a purpose born out of hatred. That, however, that had chased him? That thing was not like any of the others that Loki had ever seen. These curses usually dissipate over time no matter how powerful the spell caster was. With as old as Gotham is (in relation to human time), that means that the curse was cast by a very, very powerful, and very angry entity.

That was almost enough for Loki to never set foot in that blasted universe ever again.

Alas, if Loki were the type to give up easily, none of this would have even happened.

No matter what the history is behind It, Loki knows one thing for certain: that It is seeped into the very land that Gotham City rests upon. He would not even be able to entertain the idea of exorcising It in order to be able to move around freely. But, Loki would have to risk going back anyway. If he failed now after all of the hard work he put in, he could never forgive himself. There were too many variables happening all at once for Loki to chance taking his eyes off of this universe- off of Parker.

The key to his plan, though Loki had not been able to predict that when he first started this charade.

-
Oct 9th

Miraculously, It had not chased him the second time Loki dared to enter the city limits.

Now that he was aware of the presence, he could see the evidence all around him. How he had managed to miss it was beyond him; though it may be that hindsight grants the obvious. In any case, he could tell that It had not been weakened, nor that It had lost interest in him. It was not actively chasing him away, yes, but he could not take more than two steps without an overwhelming pressure bearing down on him.

In stark contrast, It has taken a liking to the Parker child.

Parker could find and stay hidden in shadows, but if Loki ventured too close to Parker, - or to any of the vigilantes- Gotham made sure to reprimand him. Random lights would turn on to expose his hiding spot. Bricks apart of the rooftop would become loose where he went to step. In one such instance, a manhole that was on one side of the street was now open and in front of his walking path. Loki did not appreciate having to find new clothes to wear, nor did he like running into that Crocodile fellow.

Gotham found it funny. How would Loki know? He encountered many posters with a variation of “HAHA” written on them when he finally found his way out of the sewer system hours later.

Loki’s sense of direction had also been messed with. Street names would change, maps became unavailable to him at every turn, and when he tried to return to where the Fool had taken up residence (and where he was supposed to take Parker, when instead he had lost him in this hell), Loki would end up on the other side of the island.

(Asking for directions was out of the question, when Loki had finally stooped so low as to consider doing so. Gotham’s citizens were as brazen, wary, and prickly as It is. If he so much as made eye contact with one of the humans living here, they would either flash a gun from their coats or pockets, sneer, or turn in the other direction to avoid him. Even children, usually predictably naive, would treat him as though he were scum of the Earth.

One child believed he was part of a corporation trying to scout their local neighborhood to buy out. Loki was called a “gentrifying fuckwad” and was splashed with a water balloon that contained paint inside. The laughing posters returned.)

It had taken the same principles of its tricks on Loki and applied them to be beneficial towards Parker. The child would always find his way, or someone would find their way to him. It seemed to know well that its vigilantes were good allies for Parker to have, even if the child did not.

It is fond of them. Protective.

That would be another first for Its kind. Loki had no idea that a curse could be fond of anyone or anything.

(Though Loki will say that Gotham was not always on Parker’s side. It could be overprotective as well. Parker would not be able to find Ohnn in any capacity unless the Big Bad Bat or any of his children were nearby.)

Parker had even been able to find a place to stay out of the rain and cold because It had intervened. Loki had witnessed this while disguised as a crow, perched atop a gargoyle four blocks down the street. (That was as close as Gotham was willing to allow Loki to be to Parker at the time.) A bus stop that was usually far further down the road, which held an advertisement for a burger joint named Benny’s, was put into Parker’s direct line of sight. Parker would end up staying there within the week.

Loki could not decide between two possibilities (until his observations came to a head, but he will get there in due time): Either Parker was very good at ignoring It, or he truly did not know It was there.

-

OCT 10th

Loki is very good at testing his boundaries.

Gotham is very good at shutting him down each time.

Every attempt Loki made to get closer to Parker (who, he decided, had no idea about It, which was rather interesting but Loki could not afford to be distracted right now) ended in failure. That is, until Loki decided to show It that he meant absolutely no harm to Parker.

That would be the key that Loki had been looking for. Gotham has some level of awareness, and so, he figured that Gotham could be reasoned with. And when one needs something- such as the ability to get places without intervention or crocodile teeth snapping at him- they need to give in return. In this case, Loki needed to show good faith… Without losing his own interests, of course.

Loki had figured out what Gotham cared about, which is the first, most important step to manipulating people (and a one-of-a-kind curse). And at its heart, Gotham is a selfish thing. It does not care that Loki had plans, only that they did not cause harm to what it saw as precious. Otherwise, it would have done more to prevent Ohnn and Loki from meeting each other or accomplishing their goals while in this dimension.

And, see, Loki had not wanted the child to be harmed. He did not care if it happened, of course, but he was not seeking it out. Nothing would happen unless the child got in the way. And that was very likely, because the child fancies himself a bringer of justice and other such boring qualities.

He only needed an opportunity to show he would not harm Parker, which he would get very soon.

-

The child is in distress.

Loki, disguised as a crow once again, observes the boy below him, and, not for the first time, wonders how humans ever managed to evolve enough to communicate, much less do anything else.

Hands over his ears, quick breaths that are deliberately slowed every few seconds, laser focused on where he’s stepping rather than listening to or observing his surroundings. Tell tale signs that the boy was losing it. How he could be foolish enough to walk around in this state, he has no idea. If Loki were his parent, he’d never let the boy walk around so vulnerable and stupid. Alas, he is not Loki’s child, but Stark’s (probably), and apples do not fall far from their trees.

Though it might have something to do with the apparent blistering headache the boy might have. He keeps pushing at his temples and his eyes, and he squints when he grows too close to a light source. His teeth are gritted tight, Loki can practically hear the grinding from all the way up on this perch.

Loki ponders what to do as the scene begins to unfold before him: some toddling thugs who had been harassing people for money down the street catch sight of Parker, too childish and naive, too alone.

Well, he thinks. Perhaps this problem will solve itself.

All it would take it is a well timed shot to the face. It would be quick- possibly painless if the thugs do not manage to screw it up. Parker would be taken care of and Loki would not have to worry about it anymore.

A most peculiar thing happens.

The kid lets the thugs grab him.

Loki, in all of his time observing Parker, has not once seen Parker get snuck up on. Even just now, Parker looked back behind him, made eye contact with one of the thugs, and turned back around as if he hadn’t seen him. He ducked his head again and walked faster, but not fast enough. Not as fast as Loki knows Spider-Man can be.

What is this child up to? It is not smart, whatever he is doing.

Above the group is a rickety sign for a tarot-card/flower shop combo. A quiet, metallic groan echoes over the street, likely drowned out below by the conversation being had.

He makes his decision. Either Gotham does it, or Loki does something about it.

He spreads his wings and takes off in the direction of the smell of gunpowder and a thick New Jersey accent. Red Hood is nearby, and has been most of the night, despite usually working in the other district. Upon spotting the figure standing over a mugger, only one block down, Loki decides to gain his attention.

Loki shifts from crow to House Sparrow, black feathers melting into smaller, brown ones. A smaller bird better suited for diving.

Which Loki does.

He flies into Red Hood’s face, digging claws into his jacket and neck. Red Hood sputters and attempts to bat Loki away with his non gun-wielding hand. Before he can, Loki manages to fly back down the street where Peter and the thugs are.

Red Hood forgets all of his other worries upon spotting the kid in danger.

After that stunt, Loki was allowed to get one block closer to Peter. Only one. Loki was proud of himself nonetheless, and he noted that It could, in fact, be reasoned with. Another first.

-

OCT 16th

Interested in finding out more about the Bats, now that Gotham is not trying to kill him when he gets anywhere near them, Loki attempts to follow them.

Red Hood was a bust. Loki periodically visited him through the day, and when he finally woke up around 12 in the afternoon, he sat working on his laptop and barely moved otherwise. Nightwing left for Bludhaven for “just a little while” but according to a phone call he would overhear from the red headed woman, Barbara, aka Oracle, he sat in traffic for three hours to get there and would have to turn right back around. The rest of them were at the Wayne Manor (interesting) or at school. He dared not wander to close to Signal. That child was not entirely human, and would likely see through Loki’s disguise.

He wandered back to Ohnn’s dusty hideout in the University District. Curious, Loki digs around in the man’s workbench, which is only feet away from a rather small particle accelerator that he hasn’t been able to get up and running.

Tucked away in one of Ohnn’s books is an old picture with three smiling faces. Ohnn is in the middle, tucked underneath a man’s arm who is grinning ear to ear, and a woman on his other side who holds up “bunny ears” behind Ohnn’s head and makes a kissing face at the camera.

They are young, and it strikes Loki how full of life this version of Doctor Ohnn was. His skin did not have a clammy wanness, no vacant, hollow gaze. He smiles easily and fondly. The three of them are dressed up for some kind of holiday party, the lights glistening in the background and people milling about.

The picture is frayed around the edges from age, and creased in the middle where it had been folded over and over again.

On the bottom of the picture are two names.

Alessandra and Richard Parker- my dear friends.

Loki knows one of those faces.

-

OCT 18th

Loki sighs lethargically to himself, leaning back in the comfortable chair he had found. Two blocks away and three stories down from this random human’s apartment Loki has taken over for the evening, sits Parker on the top of the Benny’s Burgers building. It is cold outside, teetering on the edge of winter. Gotham’s weather already leans cold and harsh even for the fall. Loki himself is wearing a thick coat and has cast a spell to keep the cold at bay. And yet, Parker is wearing a thin shirt, shivering from head to toe. This is a detail that Nightwing has undoubtedly noticed and is attempting to do something about. It would explain why the two are doing gymnastic routines now.

This time, It is not the reason that Loki has to observe Parker from so far away. As of now, It has allowed Loki to get within a block radius of Parker because he had been…

Ugh… Loki feels sick thinking about it…

He had been doing good deeds to earn favor with It.

He picked up trash and helped an old woman get home. He prevented Robin from running into that Two Face fellow all by himself when Batman was not close by. Fed a stray cat. Stupid little things such as that got him in Gotham’s “good enough” graces. He felt ridiculous doing it, like he was pretending to be a hero, like the Avengers or Parker think of themselves.

Instead, Loki’s distance would be Parker’s fault. If Loki got any closer to observe the boy over a long period of time, Parker would look his way. It is an uncomfortable truth that Batman and his crew have discovered as well, even if they aren’t aware that it is because of a sixth sense.

He takes a sip of the iced tea he had graciously served himself. He finds that just like the decor around him, it is rather… tasteful. Not too sweet, but just sweet enough to not be bitter. A perfect balance. And the grapes he had taken upon himself to munch on were all crisp and cold. One of the many cats in this apartment is laid about on the ground next to his feet, purring softly.

Another cat watches him from inside the apartment behind the glass sliding door. Her clever eyes are pointed at the cup in his hand. Her tail flicks irritably. She knows Loki had borrowed it from its owner without permission. Loki sets the cup on the Robin themed coaster, and then crosses his fingers together on his lap.

He has been watching Parker for a couple of hours at this point, attempting to figure out what approach to take with him. It has been difficult, to say the least.

He has Gotham's approval now, yet Loki still has no clue where to go from there. It has been difficult to gauge what Parker does and does not know. What he's capable of. The issue has bothered him ever since he found out Ohnn had lost him. Loki, admittedly, did only the bare minimum of research on Parker. He should not have trusted that Parker would not be a main character, only a device used to manipulate the others (including Mysterio and Ohnn).

What would he say or do to get the child on Loki's side? How would Parker react to him being there?

Nightwing's arrival was the last variable he needed. Loki may not be sure about Parker’s awareness level of Gotham, but what he is sure about is that Parker does not know about his relation to the vigilante.

Parker is the spitting image of his father. Though if one were to ask Ohnn- and Loki did-he would say that Parker would look more like his mother. This discovery should have been kept silent, but Loki just had to go running his mouth. This has made it now impossible to talk to Ohnn about Parker. As soon as the boy is mentioned, Ohnn forgets when he is, and starts referring to Alessandra as though she were still alive, and Parker is some fumbling toddler that is ‘just perfect.’

Loki is by no means an expert on healthy family dynamics, but if one were to see their dead father very much alive, a few tears would likely be expected.

He now knows what angle to take with Parker: make absolutely sure he starts trusting the Bats and Birds, and figures out the familial tie. What is better is that this also serves to continue to please Gotham. Loki benefits, Gotham benefits… and Loki supposes that Parker would benefit from this as well. He gets his family back.

(Loki gets to shove this in Stark's face and watch him eat himself alive.)

Nightwing lets out a belly laugh at whatever Parker says to him. Cars honk at each other on the street below, city lights twinkle. It smells like pollution and distant smoke.

Loki rests his forehead on his palm. He is seriously craving Asgardian alcohol.

…This is definitely not where Loki thought he would have ended up at this point.

Reasoning with curses, helping children, stalking the Parker child? It is annoying that this is something he has to do now, rather than watching the Avengers get picked apart like a carcass being scavenged by hyenas. It almost takes the fun out of it all. But no matter which way Loki spins it, Parker is a mild threat to them and could quickly turn into a bigger threat for Loki if he takes the right steps. Loki has to ensure that doesn’t happen. Not after he has come so far.

His only consolation is that despite the minor hiccups, it is going in his favor. He mentally ticks off this box on his list of problems and wanders to the next: the situation that those two simpletons have put them all in.

There is a lot that Loki could say about Norman Osborn. None of it would be flattering to the ear of the average being, and would instead be taken as an insult. However, Loki would attest that someone being a conniving, clever rat who is sneaking about underfoot- meanwhile, letting everyone else do the hard and more noticeable work- could be commendable.

Earlier in Loki's night, Stark and Rogers confronted Ohnn after he dared to come back to their universe, and- because they are idiots- they managed to lose him. They gained a trail thanks to Stark’s greatest asset, FRIDAY. Loki had been quite nervous when Osborn’s name was brought up, especially considering that Tony suspected from the get-go that Norman could be the one behind Parker’s disappearance.

He almost tried to divert their attention elsewhere, but felt that it would look suspicious of him to be so involved with an opinion on their investigation. He is merely there to “lend a hand.”

(Of course, to their belief, this help comes with a price not yet known to them. That is how Loki wants it. Playing between their natural assumptions of his behavior so as to not stick out too much.)

He could sacrifice Norman if it came down to it. But he really would rather not… Norman is a great asset to have.

His only good one, actually. Mysterio and Ohnn are not to be trusted. Mysterio, because he believes himself to be a master manipulator, some kind of artist, and has been actively lying to Loki’s face for months. He genuinely tricked himself into believing that Loki bought his lies.

Loki.

Yes, it is amusing and infuriating and insulting all at once.

And in Ohnn’s case, he has one foot set in reality and another in the past. That would be thanks to Norman, of course, and the experiments. Ohnn hasn’t been right in the head since he had the misfortune of meeting up with the man after being thrown out by ALCHEMAX. That's why Loki pawned Ohnn off onto Mysterio- to get Ohnn out of Norman's hair and gain the man's trust even more.

Norman, on the other hand, is a formidable opponent to the Avengers, and that is why Loki has him on his side. The two of them are stringing Mysterio and Ohnn along as far as they can get them, so that their goals can be met without the blame falling on either of their shoulders, and instead on “Mysterio” and Dr. Ohnn. All Loki has to do is babysit Mysterio, his team of scorned scientists, and Ohnn, and make sure they don’t fail to at least take the Avengers with them on their way down.

Norman was smart enough to keep all evidence of his wrong doings away from his main business, and pin it squarely on the shoulders of a laboratory a few blocks over, that happened to have ties to the very same people that the Avengers had hunted down some one year (or so) prior. Iron Man and Captain America were on their way as soon as FRIDAY sent out the alert. The place was cleared in twenty minutes, and Iron Man took over the crime scene for investigation.

They had been… sensitive about it; so much so they hadn’t even thanked Loki. Very rude, in his opinion.

Loki is assuming, based on their conversation, that their prickly attitude has something to do with Parker having a connection to these people. Loki, who now found himself having to care about anything to do with Parker, became curious and wary all at once.

He had not known that part. He was immediately struck with the thought: Should he?

He knew that Parker only existed in his current fashion because of a mistake with Dr. Connors- and Norman, by extension. He had done his research in that aspect- Parker was a key step in each of their plans, and he had to know about his abilities. Only, Loki knew the truth behind his identity that Mysterio did not. But again, Loki did not delve too much into Parker’s past, as it had no concern at the time.

…Loki decided to look into it after he actually made contact with Peter.

Norman is basically hiding in plain sight, propping up the people around him as suspects to draw attention away from him. Considering that Norman is the linchpin connecting most of the underbelly of New York, Loki is grateful he had the foresight to prevent this very thing. However, his name is still not off the list of suspects. Not if Stark will have anything to say about it.

Loki was not allowed anywhere near the crime scene. In fact, Stark had been very insistent that he hadn’t wanted to see Loki’s face again. And by insistent, Loki means that Captain America had to hold Stark back from starting a fight. Any other time, Loki would have pushed his luck. That didn’t seem like a good idea then, considering that Stark had attempted to kill Loki only a few days prior.

(The second the Leeds boy was out the door, Loki had to dodge a blaster to the face. He barely avoided it in time.)

Stark and the other Avengers wouldn’t trust Loki as far as Hulk can throw him… But for their precious Peter, they had to at least try. Loki had convinced them that much. It’s the only reason that Loki was even allowed to meet the Leeds boy today to discuss how to properly hide his illusion among the human children.

That, and they wanted to use it as an opportunity to watch his every move. Keep your enemies close, as the saying goes.

Since Loki was no longer “needed” he had to make himself scarce for the night. He would come back to Stark when the timing was right, convince him once more that they need him around in order to keep Parker.

The situation in this universe really is that precarious, even if Mysterio refuses to recognize it as so. Nightwing being Parker's father rang immediate alarm bells to Loki. It was a rather large coincidence, wasn't it? Ohnn had, by “accident,” managed to pick a universe where Parker could have many allies, all of whom are extremely capable.

If Loki had been privy to which dimension they had picked before they had started, then this wouldn’t have happened. (Yes, he is bitter about Mysterio’s lack of communication and honesty. Yes, he knows this is a tad hypocritical.) Alas… here they are.

Loki has to tread carefully and quietly. On one hand, he wants- no, needs- to push Nightwing and Parker together because Parker could inevitably choose to stay. On the other, Parker has a hero complex a mile wide, as evidenced by the red suit and the spider symbol on his chest. The outcome of success depends on Loki’s ability to sway Parker into the choice of not going back, and not wanting to help Stark or the other Avengers.

Complicated, and yet so simple, is it not? He just has to push Stark and Parker apart. If Parker believes he has been abandoned for the greater good- that being the protection of the universes- it is very likely that he stays out of Loki's way.

It isn’t like the boy wouldn’t gain something in the end, either. It is beneficial, really. A brand new start with an actual blood relative that he lost long ago, complete with a large family that, while apparently dysfunctional, cares about each other in the long run. And who also have support from a large hero community that the Avengers could never be? Not with the new SHIELD running around, anyway. All of them are lost and confused and pathetic.

Plus, Wayne is far richer than Stark.

Loki finds it hard to believe that Parker would not also see how good of an opportunity this is for him.

He has his plan now. But herein lies another problem: Loki is not sure where to begin. There is no angle to take where Parker would not be on his guard.

Nightwing ruffles Parker’s hair, almost leans in for a hug, but second guesses himself. Parker reminds Loki of a moon orbiting a planet, drawn in by the gravity of Nightwing and not wanting to part. Nightwing reaches to his ear (a comm piece, Loki had learned from observing the Avengers and SHIELD). Parker visibly retreats back into himself as they say their goodbyes.

Parker watches him go.

Loki takes the last sip of his tea. He scratches behind the ears of the cat that had picked a spot on Loki’s lap while he was lost in his own thoughts, then scoops it up and sets it back down on the patio. He stands up from his chair, brushing off any leftover fur, and adjusts the collar of his coat.

It is now or never. How does he want to play this?

Loki has been watching Parker long enough now, and has just enough context of Parker’s past, to see that Parker is hard to trust anyone. The child can not tell the difference between a helping hand or an enemy trying to kill him. And that is with humans- his own kind. Then there is Loki, who Parker has no doubt heard about in detail from the Avengers. A different being, and one that has tried to take over Earth in the past.

Does Loki even need to explain why Parker would start throwing punches the second he saw him?

Whatever. It is not like a little bit of improv will kill him. He will just have to take a few hits until the child is satisfied, and he can work his way from there.

-

That’s what he thought, at least.

-

“What in the world? What are you doing?”

Loki just wasted all of the breath he had left in his body to ask a very dumb question. He already knows what Parker is doing. It is called a hug- an activity that Loki does not find himself willingly on the other end of. But the idea is so absurd that despite the evidence in front of him- that being Parker’s arms wrapped so tight around him that it hurts- Loki cannot comprehend it.

A chill runs down his spine as he looks down at the top of Parker’s head. His brown hair is still damp and it leaves a wet spot on Loki’s coat.

His voice startles Parker. In the blink of an eye, the child is standing even farther back than where he was before the hug. Loki is left standing there with his hands in the air, which had gone up in surrender once his body recognized he was being tackled. The weight is gone so fast that it makes Loki feel even more uncomfortable. He feels dumbfounded- or maybe just… dumb.

Parker stumbles out a slew of quick apologies, but Loki is barely listening. He tells himself that it is because of the wind in their ears, and not because he was so shocked. Parker’s face is growing redder than his Spider-Man suit, and his fingers fumble together in an awkward, self-soothing motion. By the looks of him, Parker had not expected his own level of excitement either.

Loki spots a glassy look in the child’s eyes that he fails to blink away. His stomach sinks.

“I’m sorry. I just- Sorry.” He chokes out, then rubs at his eyes to clear the tears away.

…What?

The child fidgets under his scrutiny, much in a way that reminded Loki of when Thor got overenthusiastic as a child and he had been reprimanded by Mother. Parker keeps his eyes solely on his feet, wiping his hands on his dirty jeans, gulping down his nerves. A picture perfect image of a lost child who had been found. Loki's mind races to find an excuse, a reason that actually makes sense.

…Is this some kind of mind game?

Parker had given no indication in Loki’s observations that he would use an underhanded trick. And yet, anything is possible, apparently. Loki begins reassessing everything he knows about the child- He was a runaway before he met the Avengers, is the Spider-Man vigilante who walks dogs and catches a bank robber every now and then…. and…

(If Loki went through everything the Leeds boy had told him earlier today, he would get a migraine again.)

In summary: no. The boy is supposed to be an honest little do-gooder with a troubled past.

Then again, Loki also keeps many secrets behind a mask. He did that for many, many years.

Suddenly, Loki feels he needs to check his pockets, or feel for a knife handle that might have been slipped between his ribs when he wasn’t looking. He runs a hand over his coat jacket as if to smooth out any wrinkles he just gained. No knives. And his pockets remain the same. Loki is still just as confused as before, maybe more. The worst part is that he is not able to see any hint if Parker is only acting embarrassed, or naive, in order to knock Loki off his feet.

He reiterates:

What?

He has to say something, anything to get this back on track. If Parker is pretending, Loki can’t afford to slip up in his own act.

“I have had worse greetings… Do not do it again.” He clears his throat awkwardly. Parker nods with a most frenzied agreement Loki has ever seen. He is also starting to appear more pale.

Is he scared? …It’s feasible… Parker could be doing this to save his own skin and appeal to any sympathy Loki could have.

Yes! That must be it.

Loki had not considered that the child would understand that he would lose in a fight with Loki. (His ribs scream at him to rethink his choice of words.) But he is a child, after all, and has a decent head on his shoulders despite the… everything about him. Loki feels the confusion fall away from him instantly. This must be a weird human way of portraying allyship, or surrender. Humans are so strange.

“Wh-What are you… I mean…” Parker is at a loss for words.

Right. Loki decided to interact with Parker for a reason. He may have been thrown off for a moment, but he can regain his stride again. Only, Parker had managed to make Loki forget what he had planned to say. Loki blinks at the forever-sickly green skyline of Gotham in an effort to remember. Ah, yes, that was it.

“You can imagine my surprise when my brother finds me and tells me that the 'Spider-Child' has been snatched out of thin air by a snake.” Loki ambles towards the edge of the roof, peering down at the street instead of continuing to look at Parker. The brother angle works well. Thor had admitted to him at the bagel shop a month prior that he often tells Peter stories of their adventures because it is all he can think of to say.

“Stark is in a mess of worry, practically losing his mind, almost-”

“Is he okay?” Parker interrupts. Loki feels a tick of annoyance at his sincere worry.

“His health is fine.” Loki waves it off. He does not really care for Stark and if he pretended to, anyone would find it strange and know he’s lying. “That does not matter and it bores me to talk of it. I came to provide my much needed assistance to the Avengers, of course, when I heard you were kidnapped.”

Keeping to that lie will work, should Stark actually figure out how to communicate with Parker across the cloth. If anyone could, it would be him. Every god lie has roots in the truth, and every story needs evidence under a suspicious eye.

“You… came to help me?”

Loki almost cracks a smile at his tone, which had gone from relieved to wary. That sounds more like the truth. He must be dropping this act now that it’s obvious Loki had caught on to it. “Yes, I did. Is that so hard for all of you to believe? Honestly, you would think that I was the one that kidnapped you.”

Loki ignores that it is most definitely his fault that it happened, even if he was not the one to physically do it.

In this game of chess, Loki needed to target the pawn that would expose the rest of the pieces behind it and allow for his own team to thin out the enemy so he can get to checkmate. Parker being snatched was the perfect opportunity to send them into a panic he could take advantage of; the most logical choice that Loki could make. So, if he pushed Mysterio in Parker’s direction, then that is just how it needed to happen. He harbors no ill will towards the child, only his companions.

Loki intends to add on to that, so he scoffs. He cuts himself off when he spots two shadows crossing through an alley way a few streets down. Parker follows his gaze after a moment, and sucks in a small breath when he sees who Loki sees. Batman and Robin are perched next to a gargoyle, peering at something down below that has caught their eyes. Robin almost moves like the bird he is named after, his head tilting to one side to observe.

They leave a few seconds later, headed in the opposite direction that Loki and Parker are standing. Parker releases his breath with relief, for a reason Loki can not understand.

“What has been going on- on their end?”

“They figured out who Dr. Ohnn is. Quite scatter-brained, that one, despite the fact that he was brilliant enough to create a means to cross dimensions- in such a menial way. A mockery of a god’s ability.”

“Yeah, uh, he’s a piece of work, alright.” Parker agrees readily, a bit of a wry smile on his lips. He latches onto a thought before Loki could continue. “Wait, so, they know who he is?”

…Parker had not recognized him after all.

Loki files that away for later as well.

“Yes. He is a disgraced scientist turned multidimensional traveler. They have not been able to catch him. He’s slippery.” Loki can almost respect that about the man. 'Almost' being the key word. He attributes that ability a lot to the human instinct to survive no matter the cost, and to his newfound abilities that Norman gave him. “In any case, they are now aware that you are in an alternate dimension.”

Loki catches Parker’s expression turn from mild annoyance (what did he say?) to something… odd.

There is hope, at first, and then confusion again. Something that haunts the child appears over his eyes. Parker swallows down a lump in his throat with much effort. Loki almost panics again. He knew nothing of what to do with a hug, he certainly would not know what to do if the child started crying.

He pushes on, hoping that would get the child to stop. “Stark has not yet figured out the technology behind Ohnn’s research, as the man never kept digital copies of his work. But he was able to track Ohnn’s signature through dimensions, albeit, he needed my help for the next part: finding you.”

As if Loki would let the Avengers know that he has the ability to talk to Peter in person.

“And here I am.” He gestures towards the smothering skyline of Gotham. “In this dilapidated, disgusting city. You know, I could appreciate the pure chaos that this city exudes, but… There is something nasty about it that I can not bear to look at.”

There, another truth for Parker to have, though it does him no good.

“…Tony was looking for me?”

It was at this moment, where the child’s voice cracked with a vulnerability that is too hesitant to be anything but real, that Loki is overcome with dread. He looks back at Parker to find that Parker is something that Loki could never be. He is an open book. That vulnerability that carries in his voice is the same that weighs down his shoulders.

Loki has made a mistake. A brutal error of calculations.

Parker is not pretending to be unaware of Loki’s level of threat. He is not trying to make Loki lower his guard. He is not banking on every word coming out of Loki’s mouth to be a lie.

He truly does not know.

Loki is floored- Everything that he thought he knew about Parker and his relationship to the Avengers has been cast into a new light. If Parker does not know a detail as vital as Loki, and Loki was not aware of that, then how can Loki expect himself to get into Parker’s mind and convince him of anything? He has to remedy this lack of information as soon as possible.

Why would the Avengers not have told him?

-

OCT 20th

“I don’t know what I expected, honestly.” Her lipstick leaves a faint mark on her wine glass, a near color match to the red Don Melachor she is drinking. Loki swirls his own glass just to watch the tears run down the side. He is unable to get past the strange aftertaste.

He supposes that by a human’s standard, the wine might be worth the absorbent cost. It tastes… decent. That is all he can really say about it. It isn't spectacular, but it isn't awful. In fact, for it only being aged a few hundred years, it is good. However, the drinks back home have been aged for thousands upon thousands, and nothing on Earth could compare. Every time he takes a sip, the craving he has grows into a bigger monster.

“-he had shown his colors clearly from the start. I was a little too naive, back then.”

She rests her chin on her palm. Her dangling bracelet clinks in time with the jazz band picking up into their next song. Soft curls of black hair fall over her shoulder. Her eyes observe Loki in a way that feels a dash more analytical than romantic. They glance down towards his untouched glass. He braces himself to make an excuse, but a comment doesn't come. Instead, her eyes crinkle in a smile and she looks back into his eyes.

“It wasn’t until I was out of college that I finally grew a backbone. Guess one could call me a late bloomer when it comes to confidence." She adds on as an afterthought, "I’d like to see anyone try to one up me like that again.”

She takes another sip of her drink, and then points a manicured nail at him. "Anyways, I met him again later at a conference in Vermont. Ended up feeling a little bit better when I found out that internship hadn’t worked in his favor. And-" She laughs, just loud enough to catch a glare from a woman at another table for breaking the atmosphere. Loki pins the woman with his stare, and she turns away quickly in fear. "-I also felt better because he went bald. He never deserved the hair he had.”

“Justice is well served after some time has passed.” Loki remarks idly. He wonders if this story is even true, or is yet another lie that she- Doctor Lucy Portland- has told tonight.

Her brows furrow in thought. “Are you looking for, ‘Revenge is a dish best served cold?’”

Ah. He supposes that is the saying, isn't it?

“…I like mine better.” He takes a sip of his wine. The bitter, sharp taste almost makes his lip curl.

Loki has often found himself bored.

Since the day he was born, he has craved more. More to know, to learn, to see; more to do… more to have. He has never felt satisfied with what he has been given. He is a bottomless pit, always hungry, always wanting. That emptiness inside of him is one that he can not fill.

Loki became aware that no one else felt that way at a very young age, when Odin first realized why Loki does what he does. He will never forget that look on his father's…

Not his father.

He will never forget the look on Odin's face. Loki was, in that moment, not a child, but a possible threat.

It was the first time he could name why he felt out of place in their world. He was not like his family, and especially not like his brother. He was unlike anyone in Asgard, and he would never be.

He knew that this wrongness was something to be kept hidden away. Odin knew that as well. Loki was not given more, he was given just enough to keep him complacent. Perhaps this made that boredom worse, in the end. When left alone to his own devices, Loki's mind could not handle the monotony of time.

He needed more, he needed something fun. He knew that it was wrong, and yet he came back to it every time.

Most of his childhood memories ended in Loki paying the price for tricking Thor for this exact reason. It was something to do; it was a rush of adrenaline that chased the boredom away. A book he had not read yet might give him a feeling that was similar, but for Loki, it would never be enough. He had to watch a story unfold before his very eyes. He wanted desperately to figure out the plot and the reasons before anyone else, to be the person with the answers. Tricking Thor was his favorite game to play. For a moment, that bottomless pit would be satisfied.

The hunger would come back by the next day and start all over again.

This greed has led to more than one bad situation for himself. Obviously, or he wouldn't be here. But he can not stop. That boredom grows, and grows, becoming almost painful to bear, until Loki has to do something about it. And he can not help but chase those times where it did, in fact, work out in the end. Where he had not gotten caught, where he outsmarted someone.

Where he won the game.

And now Loki is bitter, much like this detested Earth wine, because he lost again.

He has recently had to face the fact that his efforts were for naught. Because even when he thought he had what he wanted, that emptiness remained. He had the power and the upper hand, he was etching his name into history… And yet he still did not feel complete.

If it isn't power that he wants, if it isn't the throne, or the recognition- if it isn't the knowledge of a thousand universes and it isn't the adoration or fear of people beneath him… Then what does he want? What is it that he really craves? Why is nothing ever enough?

Right now, despite Loki desperately wanting to believe otherwise, he wants to go home. But he can not, and he knows this. And to ignore that want, he has set himself in search of a distraction.

One could say… if they were able to possibly understand what Loki has not been able to put into words… that his actions now are not driven entirely by a need for revenge. And that it may have something to do with the fact that Loki has been bored out of his mind.

Not being able to go back, on account of trying to steal the throne of Asgard from Thor, and then a subsequent plot to take over Earth as its supreme ruler instead, put a wrench into Loki's plans for his life. Instead of sitting on the throne and having that power and the connections he thought he wanted, he became lost. He was drifting around Earth in search of anything to fill the void in his soul. No matter where he went, there was nothing and no one to pique his interest. It was worse than how he felt on Asgard.

Until one day, while sitting on a beach in Venice, a thought struck him: It was thanks to the Avengers and Thor that he has no place, no family, and nothing to do. He hates their guts and it would make him so very happy to make sure that everything they love has been ripped out of their hands and they can never step in Loki's way again…

And they also just so happen to be the most interesting people on Earth. The only ones who had managed to beat him, who at least gave him a fight. He no longer wants Earth, but he does want something to entertain him, and make his life here a little less dull.

At least until they die.

And thus, he concocted his plan. He kept traveling, but instead of wandering aimlessly, he had a goal in mind. He had to find a new way to get into their heads, to pick them off one by one. He had to divide and conquer.

He found Mysterio.

He made became tentative allies with Norman Osborn.

He learned that the Avengers were not the only people he could mess with.

And for the first time in too long, Loki felt alive again.

He was wrong about Earth. It is not Asgard, by any standards, but there is still plenty to do. He just had to get creative and find the right people. Here lately, there have been a whole sort of characters in this show that do well to amuse him long enough to forget the ache in his chest. He now has the opportunity to watch the Avengers scramble and panic like headless chickens, and the amusement it brings him has filled up the emptiness that was eating away at his very soul.

Earth is not an empty potential. It is a stage. And Loki loves to direct a good play.

Take the Leeds boy, for example. He has some magic potential he has not yet realized, and a too-close connection to someone as doomed as Peter Parker. That would do for a great event- if Loki were going to let that happen. It would likely end in a great tragedy. Alas, he has to stomp out that potential before it can grow into a problem for him. But if it were to be told, it would bring any good viewer to tears.

Despite them all being annoyances, the men that Loki have tricked into his plan also have their own ways of amusing Loki. Norman, most of all, for coming up with a life as convoluted as his own. Even the Avengers have their equal part in creating something this delicious. If they weren't so interesting in the first place, then this revenge would not have felt so gratifying to watch. It has been perfect, so far, to watch Loki’s newest story unfold: the Undoing of Heroes.

Doctor Portland is yet another character, and a rather unique one, at that. Loki has felt far from bored despite this being a detour from his original plan.

She is a woman of mysterious origins, soft spoken words, and an intelligent gaze. She was scouted personally by Virginia Potts, the now-acting CEO of Stark Industries, over a year ago to become the well-paid therapist of the Avengers. Since her appointment, she has been well taken care of. She has a home some miles away from the Avengers Compound, where she works most of the week, and an apartment in the city where she can commute to when she meets up with Parker and Stark for their appointments. She has two dogs that she treats as her children, a large library that she is proud of, and a cushy retirement fund to work towards.

This is not the interesting part about her.

One would think that, as someone trusted with the mental health of Earth’s greatest defenders, Doctor Portland would have an extensive track record that lists out her accomplishments or previous office. Or even a book that skips around any actual science in favor of pushing an agenda, as a psychologist such as herself would be wont to do. She presents herself as a hard working woman with awards and connections. And she is that woman.

Just, not currently.

Being legally dead puts a strain on outward appearances. Just ask Jason Todd-Wayne. Now that, Loki wishes he had the time to unravel.

Doctor Lucy Portland, as she is known by most of the people in her life,did not exist before this job did. She is actually a very carefully laid out facade, one that Loki has picked apart dutifully since he made his decision to dig into Parker's life. The woman in front of him who says that she grew up in Chicago and studied her psychology degree at Yale actually grew up right here in New York, taking care of her sick sister and mourning the loss of her mother at a young age. In fact, her childhood home is only a few blocks away from where the are having dinner currently.

The Avengers had done their best to give Doctor Ashley Kafka her new identity with no one the wiser, but Loki is- as expected- better than them.

He can not ask any of the Avengers why Parker has not a clue about his involvement in the attempted takeover of Earth a few years ago. Nor why they had kept it as quiet as they could about his involvement at all, not just to Parker, but to the world at large. He is not supposed to have contact with Parker, and even if he did, Loki assumes he would not be given the answer. Doctor Portland- Kafka-whoever she identifies as in her own monologue- would be able to tell him at least some insight, if not the actual reason. She doesn’t just listen to Parker, after all.

Loki also needs to know everything else that Parker has told her about his past.

He had debated with himself for a while about if it was worth it and if so,how much knowledge of Parker's life was worth the time and effort. He is still half convinced that it will be a waste of time. But in the end, he came to the conclusion that it he needed it all. From his exact current situation (even if Loki already knows), down to what street the boy lived on as a dumb little human child.

(The decision was settled when he realized that Mysterio, of all people, knew more than he did.)

No more surprises lurking around the corner, no more weirdly relevant people that Loki had previously dismissed, no more cards held in someone else's hand that Loki can't see. By the end of tonight, he will know Parker’s mind well enough to have Parker thinking that the idea to stay in Gotham City forever, and to leave Stark behind, is his idea.

Loki would have preferred to get this done and over with as fast as possible. However, Doctor Portland’s office has been enchanted to keep the Avenger’s secrets safe. The witch, Wanda, had something to do with it. Lokicould get past it, but his success depends on whether he would be able to do that without alerting the witch. As far he knows, she isn’t around right now. But no doubt she would take notice of if someone broke this enchantment.

To his surprise, Doctor Portland ended up becoming a side track.

Hence, why Loki approached Doctor Portland yesterday and asked her to go on a date with him. Or, well, convinced her that his name was Terrence McCavelier, son of a renowned jewelry company, and that he wanted to go ona date with her.

Nothing untoward is going to happen, of course. He is merely going to let humans do as humans do- make mistakes. And she is about two wine glasses deep, and has been forthcoming with information all night. About herself.

“You haven’t told me much about yourself yet. Here I am, just blabbing away all dinner.” Doctor Portland and Loki share similar smiles, though only one is fake. “What about you? Where did you grow up?”

“Not far,” Loki sets his glass down in order to start cutting a slice through his steak. “Just a bit up north from here.”

“Right.” Doctor Portland seems to have picked up on the fact that this tells her nothing at all. "What do you do for work?"

“I take care of the family business here and there.” Loki takes a bite of his steak that he is almost done with. Doctor Portland, on the other hand, has not touched her food much. “There isn’t much to say on that part. I prefer going on adventures. Exploring the sights, really getting to know people and places.”

“Sounds like you have many stories to tell.”

“I am something of a collector of good stories.” He agrees. “If I am being honest, you are far more interesting-"

"Your family company…" She taps her chin in thought. "That was a jewelry, right?"

"Yes. McCavelier."

"I read about that in Fashion Weekly." She ponders. "Is is true that you're pairing with Anastasia for their winter 2016 line?"

"Ah, yes. Bit of a headache, if I'm being honest. You know how creatives are. I feel like we are butting heads constantly in the name of a good project. Anyways," Loki takes note of Doctor Portland's jaw clenching ever so slightly. Has he upset her? Change the subject. "Where do you work right now, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Doctor Portland doesn't reply right away. She takes another look around the room, pondering to herself how to answer. Loki would usually be annoyed that she takes her time to think her words over, because he is not a patient person.

“I work exclusively for a private company.”

“Wow,” He leans back in his seat, really lathering on the amazement. Perhaps he hasn't complimented her enough. Or maybe she is wearing jewelry from the company she thinks he works for. “See? That sounds pretty fancy. Makes sense, for a classy lady like yourself.”

Doctor Portland dabs her napkin on the corners of her mouth, then sets it carefully back in her lap. Loki immediately recognizes that irritated look on her face. He has seen it a million times over and over.

His mind races, thinking back through the night so far to see where he went wrong. Moments ago it was smooth, natural conversation. She had been reluctant when he met her at the doors, awkward until they were inside and waiting for their table. From there, he thought he was doing well to act like a put-together, human man who actually has interest in her life so far. She became more confident as they sat down.

The silence hangs over their table. Doctor Portland isn't offering up any more conversation on her own. Loki breaks first, too eager to get the information he needs.

"Doctor Portland? Have I offended you?"

She had been avoiding looking at his face until he spoke again. What he sees there is resignation.

Oh.

“Terrence,” The fake name he gave her is dripping honey sweet. “How about we cut the shit?”

And there it is.

Loki, if he were normal like his family, would be startled. Loki is not normal, and he instead feels a rush wash over him. She knows.

A genuine smile spreads across his face. Doctor Portland seethes.

"Anastasia is not a company, is it?" Loki picks apart the last hour to pin point when it was.

"It went bankrupt three years ago. They were a movie company." Her voice is clipped. "I wanted to see how far you would go with it."

"So you knew before then?"

“Did you really think I wouldn’t know your face?” Doctor Portland finally becomes interested in her plate. She picks up her cutlery, inspecting the knife’s edge to ensure it is sharp enough, and begins to cut a neat slice into her steak. “I was briefed on every possible enemy of my clientele when I accepted the job. It's a long list, trust me. I had hours of headaches and too many flashcards to count. But I made sure to memorize every single one. You never know who is going to come slinking around and cause some painful memories to resurface.”

She takes a bite of her steak. Loki waits for her, much more interested in the conversation than the fake one they were having.

“You also never know who will come asking questions, thinking that they're smarter than you.”

Clever woman. Loki was right to believe she was an interesting character. Anyone who would accept a job like hers, who would completely erase her life before and be someone new, has to be. She is… inspiring. Loki is now wondering if he could pull off the same.

Loki leans forward, resting his chin on his folded hands. Doctor Portland does not like whatever she sees. Her face twitches with displeasure- or is that discomfort?- and she looks back at her plate, stabbing her fork hard enough to scrape. Her hand trembles.

She is afraid of him. But she hates him more than she fears him.

“So you agreed to a date despite your hatred of me? I should be flattered.”

“The only one laying on any flattery here is you." She rolls her eyes. "You should get more accustomed to Earth if you’re going to pretend to be one of us. If I didn’t have an agenda for being here and was any other woman, I would have high tailed it about four compliments ago.” She takes a bite of her steak, careful not to smudge her lipstick.

Loki has only given her five compliments this evening.

“So you liked one of them.”

“What is the point of this?”

“Which one was it?" Loki asks, just to watch her eye twitch. Now they're getting somewhere- This, this is fun. The last time he met someone on Earth who prefers to be sneaky over throwing punches first was Black Widow.

"Your point, Loki?"

"Maybe I just needed company in order to have a reason to be here. It is nice, is it not?” Loki gestures to the dining room in all of it's sparkly, expensive glory. Every table is packed, mostly by couples. Despite its close proximity to the Baxter building, which attracts a host of brash people looking to kill the Fantastic Four, the location is popular. Loki hoped that taking her somewhere this well regarded among humans would be in his favor.

“I doubt that." Doctor Portland replies dryly. She is right on the mark. “So, on with it, now. You wanted to ask me something?”

Loki hums, far too amused for Doctor Portland's liking. He then spots his next way to mess with her. Their waiter, Kevin or Kendra, he can not remember, makes eye contact with him. He has the wine bottle ready to go and an annoying grin on his face. To his credit, he listens well. Loki had not even finished giving him a dismissive wave before he turned on his heel to find a different table to pester.

Doctor Portland sends a pointed look at her near empty glass.

“I was waiting for him.”

Loki preens with success. “We’re rather busy."

“And my glass is rather empty.”

“Is it ethical to spend your client’s money for something like this?”

"So you are using his money." Doctor Portland is unimpressed. “He’s a billionaire. There is nothing ethical about his money, even if he no longer sells weapons of war.” She fires back. Loki does not see her point. “Besides, I believe he’d see the value in keeping me happy enough to put up with you for a while.”

“Alcoholic.”

“Psychopath.”

“I’m not the one cutting her steak as though it is a stand in for a living being sitting in front of her.”

“Forgive me, where are my manners?” Doctor Portland digs her knife in sharper. Multiple eyes turn their way at the squeak of her knife on the plate.

“I get the point, Doctor.” Loki rolls his eyes. As though he could be intimidated by her, of all people. “I suppose youalso do not believe that I am here to do a good deed?”

“You tried taking over the Earth only a couple of years ago.” She points out, uselessly. “Am I expected to believe you managed to turn over a fairly large leaf in that amount of time?”

“I was feeling rebellious. It is a thing of the past.”

What Loki had taken only as banter takes a sharp turn. She does not like that answer. Her face twists with pain, as if Loki had dealt her a physical blow. She bites back her instinctual retort and instead takes a deep breath. She blinks back tears. Loki no longer feels amused.

"Time… Time might seem insignificant to someone likeyou, Loki, but not to us." She swallows thickly around the lump in her throat. "This is all we have. This short time, these loved ones. Life and loss is already hard enough. And - And what you did… You can not even begin to comprehend what you took from us that day. And the worst part is," Her previous fire settles into a dull rage.

"…After watching you tonight, it only confirms that you did it to entertain yourself."

Loki's chest tightens uncomfortably. On the surface level, her words are correct. Loki had committed a selfish act. He was chasing vindication and power. This is nothing new.

The bottomless pit that always craves that more he can not find tells him that she is wrong.

"I take it then, that you do not believe me."

"No, I don't." The Doctor puts her utensils down, throws her napkin on her plate, and abruptly stands up. "I don't think I need to tell you that if you're behind what happened to that boy again, you are going to regret it. Whatever you know, you would be smart to admit to them sooner rather than later."

That will not be happening. Not after Loki has come so far.

"You won't be getting anything out of me."

The band moves on to another song. A couple of tables have turned their curious, judgemental eyes towards Loki and Doctor Portland. Whispers are thrown around the room, misinterpreting her ire. Loki leans back in his chair and asks her softly, so as not to gain more attention, "There is nothing I can do to convince you I am here to help?"

"No." She scoffs. Then, she reaches for her purse, with her phone inside. No doubt to call one of the Avengers.

Well, this game is over. It was just getting fun, too.

"Very well." Loki waves his hand.

The spell's effect is immediate. Her anger is forgotten, face smoothing out into relaxation. Her shoulders releasing their tension as the weight of their conversation disappears from her memory. She sways on her spot, and Loki reaches out to grab her elbow and steady her. Doctor Portland fans her suddenly flushed face.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I think I drank a little too much." Loki releases her when he knows she will not fall.

"No need to apologize. I've done the same before." Loki smiles. She returns it. The onlookers, upon believing that they are not fighting after all, forget about the two of them and go back to their conversations.

Doctor Portland touches his shoulder. "Tonight was amazing. Thank you for dinner, Terrence."

"It was my pleasure, Doctor." Loki at least does not lie about that. "I'll walk you to your taxi, it's the least I could do."

"Oh, what a gentleman." She teases as Loki pulls out a large stack of bills he got out of Stark's account much more than their dinner and a tip is worth.

Doctor Portland will forget she ever met Loki and had this dinner by the time she goes to sleep tonight. Not even the name Terrence McCavelier will remain. Though it is for the best, Loki is disappointed. He was hoping to have a little more time to talk to her.

As he helps her into her taxi and gives the rest of the cash he has on him to the driver, Loki ponders what spells will help him break the Witch's enchantment without alerting her.

-
OCT 21st

Everyone has a fatal flaw. It is intrinsic to the very nature of being alive, of having a consciousness and an ability to cause change. These flaws are not a decision of good or evil. That would be the actions that one takes, and who those actions serve.

Loki is a selfish being. Not so selfish as to not know that his actions have caused harm to many, many beings. And yet, selfish enough to not care.

He does not care.

"I don't think I need to tell you that if you're behind what happened to that boy again, you are going to regret it."

"I don't think I need to tell you that if you're behind what happened to that boy again, you are going to regret it."

Again.

You are going to regret it.

He paces near frantically around Doctor Portland's dark office. Her words back at the restaurant only a few hours ago echo nonstop in his mind, a cruel chorus of shame that has lit his skin on fire. Loki has not felt like this in a long time ever. The clock on the wall ticks out of time with his footsteps, now reading 2:34. Earth's moon watches Loki through the arched window, a pale white eye in a sea of inky black.

He grabs the curtains on both ends and shuts the night out with a swish.

Loki has spent some five hours, almost six now, scouring Doctor Portland's office. He read through each of her journals and went through her filing cabinets. But the real prize (so he thought) were the audio recordings that were locked inside of a safe, which was hidden underneath the floorboards and a heavy Persian rug.

The longer he was there, the more uncomfortable he felt. He looked over his shoulder at every tap on the window or creak down the hall, convinced that the Witch would appear. He kept telling himself that it would be worth it.

And it was. He learned everything that he wished to know.

But Loki is selfish. And too curious for his own good. He had already got what he had wanted: Lost loved ones, physical trauma, family problems, nightmares, childhood fears. Some of the Avengers still refused therapy, but it was enough for him. It was more than enough. He got his reason for Parker's ignorance about Loki and what he had done. It only served to prove one of the theories that Loki had come up with. Parker wanting revenge because of something Loki did? Not a far fetched idea. Parker would have to get in line.

He could do a lot with that. He could convince Parker that he is not seen as an equal. Use that abandonment trauma to drive him away from Stark, away from the Avengers for good. Unfortunately for Loki, he wanted to learn why Parker would want revenge.

This started a downward spiral.

Until he reached Parker's files, Loki was riding a high like no other. He had it. He still has it. He holds the answer to his success in his hands.

He does not feel successful. What was he saying about a never ending cycle, before?

Loki sits down in Doctor Portland's chair. Stands up again. Paces. He sits back down. Stands up. Twitches when the curtains move. It is just the air conditioner turning on. He sits back down. He stands up. He starts to pace again. Nothing he does relieves this anxiety that is burning its way through his bloodstream. What would help would be to leave. But he can't. His frustration builds and builds until Loki feels like he's back to standing on the edge of a cliff, watching Thor fall down into the rift below his feet.

The time on the clock continues to move forward.

He should be done with this by now. In only a few hours, Loki will have to be at Midtown High School- or within its general vicinity- to cast the illusion of Peter. He also has to visit Mysterio before the day is over. If Loki leaves them alone for too long, they start making mistakes or try to back stab him. And yet, here he is.

None of the words on this paper should matter beyond being a means to an end. Parker's handwriting, scrawled as if he does not know how to hold a pen, should not have been endearing. Nor should it have reminded Loki of when his mother taught him how to write. The audio recordings of Parker's sessions with Doctor Portland should just be that- recordings. A separation from Loki himself. They are two completely different beings who could not be further from each other.

And yet… incredibly, beyond even Loki's expectations, he has managed to feel…

Remorse.

It has paralyzed his train of thought. Every time he attempts to leave, his eyes fall back to the papers in front of him.

Parker is not a forthcoming child. Loki had to read through too many entries of Parker refusing to talk about his past, and Doctor Portland writing their conversations down anyway. But when he finally got to the first entry that Parker opened up to Doctor Portland, Loki's ecstatic mood felt like it had been scooped out of him and left him back in that hollow nothingness he had before. His entire body rejected that nothingness and his nervous system betrayed him.

Parker's description of his feelings about his past struck far too close to home. Each loop of the Doctor's pen, every shaky breath of Parker's voice on the audio tapes, was another blow that left Loki exposed and vulnerable to himself. The papers became a mirror in Loki's hand, and he could not stand to look at what he saw. Parker's voice blended in with his own.

Emptiness.

Parker has also felt that emptiness. Missing something so wholly that it is as though a piece of yourself is missing. Nothing that he does can fix it. The only difference is that Parker, according to Doctor Portland, is missing people. His aunt and uncle, a younger sister, his… parents. Doctor Portland tells him, in a soft and kind voice Loki could never receive, that he pushes away his feelings about most of these people he loved, because it feels like attacking the source of the problem. If he never cared about them, then missing them would be out of the equation.

What Parker dismissed easily was being branded onto Loki's soul.

"You have to let that wound bleed, Peter. If you hide it, we can't treat it."

"It's okay to be angry."

That should be the difference. Loki does not miss people. He has felt this way his entire life. He has been surrounded by people, even if they were not his. They could never be his. But at some point, the lines blurred and it was almost as if Doctor Portland was talking to Loki.

"Get it together… Empathizing? With a human child?" He scoffs and turns to read the clock. 3:12. That officially marks an hour since Loki found himself unable to calm down. He grits his teeth. "This is a new low, even for me."

But the evidence is there. Loki would not feel like electricity was coursing through his every nerve, would not be remembering every time he shut off his emotions as a child, if he was truly nothing like Parker. Doctor Portland's notes, analyzing how Parker described himself with brutal accuracy, would not make him want to flee if they did not really matter to him.

His selfishness has reached new bounds that he had not thought possible, and for the first time in a long time, he feels sick to his stomach about what he has done.

Loki's remorse for his actions do not even come from finding out that Loki is the reason Parker watched people he cares about die. In fact, he had felt completely and utterly numb when reading Doctor Portland's notes. He did not feel any hint of that shame until he started to relate to Parker.

What is wrong with him?

Loki is not allowed to feel bad about this. Parker would hate him, if he knew. He loved his foster parents very much, and carries a guilt that he could not save them. And it is Loki's fault for bringing the Chitauri to Earth. (He would hate Loki even more for not really remembering most of that time, when he was in possession of that scepter.)

Loki runs a hand through his hair and leans back on Doctor Portland's desk. The Parker journal sits on the table in front of him, closed with the cover facing down. He stays there for a long time, letting the anxiety wash away on its own.

The clock continues ticking. Loki makes up his mind, and does not spare it another glance.

He destroys the audio recordings on his way out. Mysterio can not get a hold of them. It will ruin Loki's plan.

Nothing changes.

-

Except everything does.