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Freshman year. A great fresh start, everyone called it, so he took it as one.
He changed his name to Parrot, wrote his correct pronouns on every form, and erased the old him. The only person who knew what he was like before this year was Wifies. Wifies who had been through hell and back with him, Wifies who was his best and only friend in previous years, Wifies who he fell in love with.
What a 'great start' it had been for Parrot.
Homework piled up, missing assignments in almost every class, hell— he was failing math! He wasn't even one quarter into the school year and everything was crashing down on him. He hadn't spoken to any of his friends— Wemmbu, Spoke, Flame, not even Wifies— for the entire weekend, instead he had locked himself in his room and lied in bed all day.
Notifications filled his phone, worried texts from Wifies, discord group chats blowing up, and assorted apps Parrot could've swore he uninstalled.
The weekend wasn't long enough.
Before he knew it, he was dragging himself through the hallways, each and every class feeling excruciatingly long. He wasn't paying attention in any of them, and was sure he failed his most recent assignments.
Several days in a row he texted his mom, begging to be brought home. Each time she asked why, and he said he was tired, and each time she said no.
Parrot sat through his worst classes, boredom and exhaustion biting at him, begging him to just give up and collapse on the floor. He felt too tired to move, yet when the bell rang, he found himself walking to his next class.
Oh how he hated this class. The boys were too loud and always disruptive, and he had no friends in the room, he didn't learn anything during the two hours. All it was was notes interruption notes interruption notes interruption. Before he knew it, he was sitting at the lunch table, picking at his food.
"Parrot?"
He jolted up, Spokes voice scaring the shit out of him.
"Holy crap dude— uh, yeah? What's up?"
"Are you…okay? You've been real zoned these past few days…we're just worried about you."
We? Who was— oh. Parrot looked up to see all his friends standing behind Spoke, Wifies looking the most worried.
Parrot inhaled, avoiding eye contact with everyone, "I'm fine! Yeah, yeah I'm all good. Just didn't sleep great! Yeah I'm— I'm fine." He winced at every voice crack, deciding to quickly pack up his stuff and leave. "Gotta get back to class! You know how the Honors Bio teacher is— reeeal strict about timing!"
"Wait— Parrot!"
He was out of the lunch area before he could hear Wifies finish the sentence.
"But the teacher gives you…B lunch off too—" Wifies sighed, slumping down into a chair— "What are we going to do…"
"I don't know if there's much we can do, but you could probably get through to him, Wifies." Flame placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly.
"I texted him fifteen times over the weekend and he responded to none!"
"Well maybe you just have to take…a more direct approach," Flame offered.
Wifies knew exactly what he meant.
"If you're really sure it'll work…I guess I can try."
Why couldn't the weekend be longer? Why couldn't Parrot even enjoy his weekend? He had a project for theatre to work on, a presentation for biology, and math homework all due on Monday. The workload felt overwhelming.
Of course, he didn't work on a single one.
And of course, he was freaking out.
It was Sunday night and he was rushing his presentation, throwing barely researched words onto each slide. The unfinished craft for theatre lay on the floor, hot glue gun still plugged in and slowly leaking. His math homework had one impossible question left on it, and he had to do all of this and then wake up at seven the next day.
The clock ticked. Midnight. One A.M. Two A.M. Three. Four.
Parrot collapsed onto his bed, tears welling in his eyes, box cutter on the floor, phone in his hand.
He dialed Wifies.
No response.
Of course not. Of course Wifies wouldn't be awake at four in the morning, Wifies probably didn't even love him! Wifies probably hated him! Hated him for not doing work, hated him for being stressed, hated him for not taking care of himself, hated him for hurting himself! Hate hate hate! Wifies would hate him— Wifies did hate him.
Parrot squeezed his eyes shut, and when he opened them again it was morning.
Back to school.
Math. Homeroom. Theatre. Biology. Home.
Graphic design. English. Geography. Language. Home.
Repeat.
Parrot couldn't even bring himself to do anything fun anymore. He didn't play games, he didn't draw, he didn't write, he didn't read, he didn't do anything. He just put videos on and zoned out. After dinner, he went upstairs, and everything faded to black.
Parrot wrapped bandages around his arms, averting his gaze from his chest as he slid a hoodie— Wifies' hoodie— on. Wincing at his parents calling him down with the wrong name, he stumbled down the hallway, wondering what they could possibly need this late.
Parrot was met with an open door and a rather worried looking Wifies standing in the doorway.
His breath caught in his throat, heart pumping a million times a minute. He could feel tears prick at his eyes as Wifies inhaled to speak.
Parrot sprinted to his room, nearly falling on the turn, and shut the door behind him. He curled up in the corner of his bed, digging his nails into the bandages on his arms while he started to hyperventilate.
He had ignored Wifies all week he must be here to kill him he—
Not Wifies— Wifies couldn't be here he shouldn't be here— he couldn't know what Parrot was doing to himself he couldn't know that Parrot cried himself to sleep every night he couldn't know he couldn't kn—
"Parrot, darling?"
A painstakingly familiar voice.
Wifies.
"Oh, dear." Wifies sat down on the bed, giving Parrot space. "Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay. Can I hug you?"
Parrot gave a weak nod, hiccuping through sobs. Wifies scooted over, letting Parrot fall into his lap and running his fingers through his hair. Wifies pretended not to notice the bandages on Parrots arms.
"Do you want to talk?"
"I— I can't…it's— hic— everything's so— hic— I it school friends all the the—" Parrot choked back tears, burying his face in Wifies' chest.
"Shh, shh, hey, take it slow. One thing at a time." Wifies rubbed circles between Parrots shoulder blades, uncaring of the snot soaking into his sweater.
"…I missed you," Parrot whispered, squeezing Wifies' hand tightly.
"I missed you too, birdie."
"I— I'm—" tears spilled from Parrot eyes again, sobs escaping his throat— "I'm just so— hic— tired…I want to sleep," he cried into Wifies' jacket, voice quiet and raspy.
"You can sleep, darling. I'll be right here when you wake up." Wifies pressed a gentle kiss to Parrots head, beginning to slowly braid his hair.