Chapter Text
Cool waves lapped around Pomni's ankles as she stared at the sun sinking below the horizon, casting the ocean's surface in cozy oranges and gentle reds. The Seagull Gang's voices carried in the distance, yelling about something one of their members found and were now arguing over who got to eat it. The gentle breeze ruffling her short hair brought with it the ocean's briny scent.
"Hah, what a lame Adventure, right, Pompom?"
Pomni turned her head, but saw no one beside her. Hearing Jax's voice had become a common occurrence as of late. There were a lot of adventures she was certain he would have enjoyed.
This one, though, she could agree with the sentiment that it was lame. Caine was more willing to space out his high stakes Adventures with chiller ones, allowing a middle ground for his creativity and the circus members' comfort. Zooble seemed more interested in joining in during the relaxing ones, though some of the high stakes ones they joined in, if only to protect Gangle from whatever lurked inside them.
Caine had even added in some more features to allow the members of the circus to feel more human. Mostly hunger and sleep cues. Pain remained muted, especially in particularly dangerous Adventures where 'death' was a high possibility. He had even allowed more freedom with their avatar's clothing, letting them have Adventure specific outfits to make them less of a sore thumb to the NPC residents.
This Adventure was based on an island somewhere in the tropics. Probably simulated after Costa Rica or the Caribbean. The group's outfits were island themed, like Kinger's pink Hawaiian shirt and Pomni's tank top that had a palm tree on the front along with the words Beach, please resting on a sandy shore.
There wasn't much to do on the island and the group had been left to their own devices for the day. Pomni had first set out to explore the island, wondering if Caine had snuck in some abandoned ruins or hidden treasure to add some intrigue.
As she walked through the forest of colorful tropical trees and ferns, she talked to herself about what could be hidden in the depths.
"Wouldn't it be cool if he stuck some sort of ancient Incan temple deep in the forest?" Pomni asked, pushing aside some ferns in their path. The deeper they got, the denser the forest became. "I always wanted to see Machu Picchu. As long as Caine didn't add in any zombies or something."
Pomni shuddered at the thought. She wouldn't put it past Caine to add in some sort of horror within a chill Adventure.
"If there's a zombie in there, I'm letting it eat you first."
Pomni slowed to a stop, glancing up to see Jax standing right beside her. His thumbs were hooked into the pockets of his overalls, staring down at her with a grin.
He didn't look much different from how Pomni remembered him, though his smile was less wide. More easygoing and real; one that reached his eyes. It was always good to see him.
Pomni giggled when Jax made snapping sounds at her with his teeth. "What if it goes after you first?"
"Maybe they like stupid jesters."
Snorting, Pomni rolled her eyes, pulling a thick frond with her before letting it snap back with a bit more force than necessary.
Jax spluttered as the fern hit him in the face. "Hey, that wasn't very nice."
"You be an idiot, you get fern whacked." She flashed him a smile then focused on getting through the thicket of ferns. When she didn't feel Jax's presence beside her, Pomni stopped, looking behind her. "Jax?"
Jax had halted, staring at her silently. He tilted his head at an unnatural angle, massive grin matching his blown pupils. "Don't you think it's time you move on?"
"...Move on...?" Pomni repeated, furrowing her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean."
"There you are, Pomni."
Startled, Pomni turned to see Zooble pushing aside some ferns as they approached her. When she had looked back, Jax was gone.
"Come on." Zooble waved a yellow hand. "We're going to build some sand castles."
Casting one last look where she had seen Jax standing, Pomni had followed Zooble to the beach.
It wasn't healthy, she knew. Pretending he was still there when she knew he was sleeping in his tent back in the circus. Months had passed since his abstraction and Pomni joined in Adventures and mostly maintained social outings with Ragatha and the others, but any free time she had was spent with Jax. Some days it was just leaning against him, practicing her keyboard as he slept or watched her silently, and others she would dive back to his mindscape to actually talk to him and hear his voice.
They had talked about a lot of things, but a lot was Pomni just recounting what Adventures they had gone on that day or a joke that she thought he would like. The others had moved on, accepting that Jax's abstraction would move between the tent and the aquarium to visit Ribbit and Kaufmo, and that life in the circus would continue to move on, as well.
They would continue to have Adventures for who knew how long, they would continue to hang out and eat and laugh with each other.
Pomni hadn't moved on. She knew it wasn't good to keep visiting Jax in his mind, but she couldn't just let him go. He hadn't wanted to go.
A laugh broke Pomni out of her thoughts and she turned to see that it had come from Gangle.
She and Ragatha were busy piling sand over Kinger who was laying on the ground, watching them work with huge eyes. They were making a mermaid tail with scales and sandy pearl strings. It was obvious that despite watching the two, Kinger wasn't aware of precisely what they were doing or why. The sun's brightness had blinded his sanity.
Ever since Caine's return, Kinger's sanity had been more stable. Caine had lowered the lights in the circus, allowing Kinger a slightly dimmer area to keep his mind stable. Kinger rarely relied on the bucket and was working on some kind of accessory that would permanently allow him to keep his sanity, even in the brightest of places. He had put that project on hold, though, while he and Caine figured out a potential way to reverse abstraction.
The knowledge that he had halted his own personal project to help her out made Pomni feel a bit guilty. She had asked him and Caine if there was a way to reverse abstraction, desperate to bring Jax back, and the two had immediately started working on her request.
"Hey, you good?"
Pomni startled at the voice, realizing she had been staring at Kinger and the others for who knew how long.
Zooble stood to her right, eyebrows furrowed.
"Uh, yeah!" Pomni responded, a bit too quickly. She had to stop staring off into space. "Just watching the sand sculpturing over there!"
Zooble raised an eyebrow, the expression on their face saying they doubted Pomni's words, before they looked at the others. They snorted at the sight of Gangle carefully adding sand mounds over Kinger's chest. "Okay, you two, stop trying to bury him."
"But we're just getting started!" Gangle complained.
"Bury me in what now?" Kinger asked, lifting his head slightly. He noticed the sand covering his body and blinked. "Ah, it appears I have lost my body."
Ragatha giggled at Kinger's calm reaction before getting to her feet. "I know! Why don't we take a picture?"
She took out a polaroid camera, holding it up in both hands. 'Property of Jax' was written on the front in sharpie.
Apparently, Jax had somehow found the camera somewhere while searching the circus for all the fun doors and hidden passageways. He had never told anyone exactly where he had gotten it, but it had been something he had used to take photos during Adventures.
Pomni didn't doubt Ragatha's words. She had seen Jax's room. After asking him one day in his mindscape if she could look at his room, while he had become a bit defensive, he eventually relented and gave permission for her to see what he had never revealed to anyone else. She had seen the photo wall by his bed with the pictures all turned around. One by one, she had flipped them around to show pictures of him, Ribbit, and Kaufmo all from different Adventures.
He had even kept the photo from the Gun Adventure though it was slightly crinkled. One he had claimed to have thrown out after their argument and fallout. Another thing to show he cared when he claimed he didn't. Then again, he had cared enough to scratch out and board up a door in his mindscape that Pomni was nearly certain was a scenario concerning her abstraction. She had never asked him to confirm, waiting for him to show her on his own, when he was ready. If he ever became ready.
Jax's room was also where she had found the camera thrown into a drawer. She wasn't big on taking pictures and had decided it best to give to Ragatha instead. After all, the two had been friends in the past and she deserved to have something to remind her of Jax. Ragatha almost always took photos of their Adventures, giving the photo to Pomni.
"To show Jax," she said the first time, smiling softly. After that, she had just given the photos to Pomni and after a while, Pomni had started a small collection of items and photos gathered from the Adventures, setting them in Jax's tent so he could look at them. It also added a bit of a homey feel to the tent. Less bare than just the pillows and fairy lights.
"Come on." Zooble tapped Pomni's shoulder with their lobster claw and the two made their way over to the others.
As they all crowded in front of Kinger, Ragatha handed the camera over to Zooble as their arms were longer than hers and could capture the full glory of Kinger's sandy mermaid body.
After snapping the photo and handing the camera back to Ragatha, Zooble went to help Gangle up from where she knelt in the sand.
Ragatha shook the polaroid to develop it faster then held it out to Pomni with a faint smile.
"Thanks." Pomni stared at the photo in her hand. Her smile looked fake.
A fractal noise portal opened as Kinger shook the mound of sand off himself.
"Guess that's our cue to go," said Zooble.
Just as Pomni made to follow the others back to the circus, a glint caught her eye and she stopped. Buried partway in the sand was a transparent purple shard. Picking the shard out of the sand, Pomni held it up so the sun's last rays caught and reflected its light.
The sea glass was about the size of a quarter, rounded and smoothed by time, forming it into a perfect disc. Inside its center was a swirl of red and blue, like a miniature galaxy.
It would likely make nice colors under the fairy lights in Jax's tent.
"Pomni?"
Lowering the sea glass, Pomni looked towards the portal to see that Kinger hadn't gone through yet and instead stared at her, head slightly tilted. A concerned look was plastered on his face.
"Are you all right?"
Grinning, Pomni shoved the photo and shard of sea glass into her shorts pocket as she trotted over to the portal and Kinger.
"I'm fine!"
She was stopped from entering the portal by a hand settling on her shoulder.
"Hey, you know, if you ever need to talk..." Kinger murmured. "We're here for you. I'm here for you."
Pomni's smile wavered, but she grit her teeth to keep it from slipping off. She knew that everyone else could see how she was internally self-destructing. Her isolating to Jax's tent and forgetting to eat. Rarely even returning to her own room because she hated having to open her door to that mocking red X on Jax's door across the hall. It was better to sleep in Jax's tent, if she even managed a few hours without thinking about the what ifs.
What if she had just shot Jax to give him whatever satisfaction he wanted from her. What if she had just shot herself to see if that would affect him like she had considered it would, to prove he was lying about not caring about anyone else in the circus, least of all her. What if she had grabbed him to keep him from leaving after he had so clearly wanted to reach out from help, but struggled with his own inner demons preventing him from doing so because to him vulnerability was a weakness and being weak was being seen as less of a man. What if she had pried harder. What if she wasn't secretly drowning in survivor's guilt. What if she ab—
"Thanks." Pomni set a hand over Kinger's. "I'll try to remember that."
Kinger's eyebrows shifted down, a clear indication that he was frowning. He removed his hand from Pomni's shoulder anyway, allowing her to pass through the portal.
Back inside the familiar colors of the circus tent, Caine was busy talking to Ragatha and Gangle about the Adventure, entranced by their tale of covering Kinger in sand, though it was likely he didn't understand the purpose behind it. He was still learning the nuances of things humans did for fun.
As Kinger wandered off towards his pillow fort, likely to wind down and center himself in the dark, Pomni turned and started for Jax's tent.
"Hey, Pomni?" Zooble approached her, arms folded over their chest. "You got a minute?"
"Uh, I mean, I guess?" Pomni stopped. She clasped her hands behind her back, automatically rocking back and forth on her heels. "I was just going to see Jax."
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," Zooble said. Their voice was cautious, as if they were carefully choosing their next words. "We all think it's sweet that you like keeping Jax in the loop about everything that's going on, but don't you think it's time to move him to the aquarium permanently?"
The implication of what Zooble was saying hit Pomni hard; move him to the aquarium permanently meant abandoning him. Leaving his mind to slip further away until there wasn't anything left to save. Anxiety prickled across her skin.
"What?"
"Switching him between the aquarium and his tent every other day isn't really feasible anymore. It becomes harder and harder every time to pull you out when you go into his mindscape."
"But you're the only one who can pull me out," Pomni protested. "You have a lot of extra parts—"
"Pomni, I had four arms to choose from this morning. I go through them faster than my parts box can generate them."
Pomni frowned slightly, giving a shrug. She didn't really see the problem. Zooble didn't use all four arms at once anyway. "Then just ask Caine to make you more."
"Pomni!" Zooble snapped. They took a deep breath, closing their eyes briefly. "That's not the point." They reached out their lobster claw, setting it on Pomni's shoulder. "I know you're still grieving—"
Pomni jerked her shoulder away from Zooble's touch, causing them to withdraw slightly, and shot them a venomous glare. "I'm not grieving! He isn't dead!"
"Uh..." Zooble blinked, obviously startled by Pomni's outburst. "No, Pomni, that's not what I meant—"
When Zooble tried to reach out to her again, Pomni took a few steps back, hunching her shoulders as she crossed her arms over her chest. She didn't want whatever pity Zooble was attempting to give. "Why don't you just go hang out with Gangle."
Exhaling, Zooble's expression changed to disappointment or perhaps sympathy before they turned and walked off.
As they got further away, Pomni dropped her gaze to the floor as her shoulders relaxed. Guilt began gnawing at her. She hadn't meant to snap like that, but she was not going to abandon Jax by sticking him in the aquarium. She couldn't stand the thought of not being able to hear his voice or feel his touch again.
Looking up, Pomni spotted Zooble and Gangle talking to each other. Ragatha and Caine had disappeared to who knew where. Caine likely was talking to Kinger about something and Ragatha was likely tending to her horses. She had convinced Caine to make a small stable for a few horses in the circus grounds, right next to the tent. A bit of home that hadn't been tainted by her mother.
Gangle was showing Zooble her sketchbook, pointing to new drawings she had finished. Zooble stared at her softly, listening to her rambles, before they reached out their yellow hand to touch the bottom of Gangle's mask. They leaned closer, pressing their face against Gangle's mask.
A furious blush crossed Gangle's mask when Zooble pulled away moments later. She covered her face with her sketchbook as Zooble stared at her reaction in amusement.
The way the two interacted made acidic jealousy rise in the back of Pomni's throat. She was envious of the relationship they had, envisioning something similar between herself and Jax. It was just a fantasy of something that never would have happened, but sometimes she still wondered what it would have been like if things had turned out differently. Especially since she had realized that her feelings for Jax couldn't quite be described as friendship anymore.
It was something she would never reveal to Jax. She had somehow ruined their friendship in the first place and whatever they had rebuilt during her time in his mindscape she did not want to break again by revealing feelings he likely would never return. Even if it was painful, she would gladly remain his friend until the end of time.
Gangle glanced up, noticing Pomni staring at her and Zooble, and waved a ribbon hand with a bright smile. Zooble glanced at Pomni out of the corner of their eye.
Pomni tore her gaze away and strode towards Jax's tent. She needed to get away. Talking to Jax always made her feel better.
Lifting the tent flap, Pomni peeked inside to see that Jax was laying on the ground, curled up, his multitude of eyes closed.
Over the course of the last few months, his form had changed from an odd, indescribable creature to a more rabbitoid shape. Pomni was certain it was because she kept diving into his mindscape, but after consulting with Caine about the odd change in his form, the AI ringmaster actually couldn't confirm or deny if that was the case. The behavior of abstractions had never been studied before, much less having someone willing to go into their minds to speak with them.
Pomni kept her belief that his form change was due to her. She was helping him and whenever Caine and Kinger finished their abstraction reversal, she was certain it would be easy to fully bring Jax back.
Keeping her footsteps as soft as possible so she wouldn't wake Jax, Pomni made her way to the shelf on the left side of the tent. Lining the shelf were photos along with all the trinkets Pomni had picked up from previous Adventures. A lot of them Jax would have loved to join, especially the canyon one with the dinosaurs. It hadn't been a high stakes one as the group's mission was to ride the dinosaurs through the canyon to the center, but Pomni had thought about how Jax would have somehow made it into a high stakes Adventure. She had gotten a Utahraptor claw from that one.
Setting the photo and sea glass shard next to the Canyon Adventure, Pomni smiled as she stepped back. She wasn't entirely sure if Jax could appreciate her effort of giving him some part of the Adventures he could never participate in, but she was certain he did somehow understand. Some days, she had seen him sitting in front of the shelf, staring at it.
Abstraction behavior hadn't been analyzed, but Pomni had been studying Jax's behavior. Sure, she didn't entirely know if that could be applied to all abstractions and she was still trying to understand some nuances in his body language, but she was trying to learn if nothing else.
She could tell when he was happy or curious or angry or sleepy just by his eyes alone or how the abstraction's edges rippled or sharpened. She even knew that despite what he would verbally tell her in his mindscape his abstraction would prove him wrong; she knew he trusted her.
A quiet rumble made Pomni break her attention from the trinket shelf.
Jax's head was raised and he stared at her, ears slightly perked.
"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"
Jax clambered to his feet before stretching out his front half then his back half. As he stretched out his back legs, he lowered himself towards her, all eyes maintaining contact with her, until his face was a few feet from hers.
Pomni giggled at the behavior, kneeling and setting a hand on his forehead, slowly stroking up and down until his eyes fluttered closed and he released a deep huff.
Rarely did touching him cause glitches. Only when he was angry did touching him become painful; she usually never touched him on those days.
Jax's eyes opened when Pomni stopped petting him. She set her hands on either side of his face before setting her forehead against his. She didn't particularly care if no one knew was visiting Jax in his mindscape.
Getting into his mindscape had become a soothing sensation to her, like falling in a dream except without that hollow stomach feeling that startled you awake. Ever since the first dive, she never saw the kaleidoscope of eyes and colors. It had become a smooth transition between the tent and standing beneath that bleak lamppost casting its eerie glow across the liquid floor.
The sensation never came.
Frowning, she pulled back. Jax had never denied her entry to his mindscape before. Was something wrong?
All of Jax's eyes were still fixed on her, expression unreadable.
"Jax, let me in." Pomni pressed her forehead against Jax's, harder than last time, silently willing him to understand that she needed to talk to him and to stop being stubborn.
She was not panicking. There had to be a reason he was rejecting her. He was still in there.
Squeezing her eyes shut, Pomni's fingers dug into the side of Jax's face as if they were tangling into fur, before she stared into his eyes.
"Please."
Jax's abstraction bristled and he jerked his head up, knocking Pomni off him, sending her across the tent floor until her back struck the trinket shelf.
The impact rattled the trinkets and caused a few photos to flutter to the ground.
Taking in a sharp breath from the impact, Pomni wrapped her arms around her middle, grimacing as stabbing glitches racked her.
Jax's eyes widened and he lowered his head towards her, making a strange whimpering sound.
"I-I'm fine," Pomni wheezed, holding up a hand to show she was okay. "Y-you just startled me."
Jax's eyes zeroed in on the glitches as another wave struck Pomni, causing her to flinch. He backed away, ears lowering.
"J-Jax, it's okay..." Pomni pushed herself into a sitting position, gritting her teeth. She had forgotten how painful the glitches were. Thousands of little knives piercing her skin. "M-my fault...I shouldn't have pushed...."
This didn't seem to soothe the abstraction's distress as he backed further away until he was in the opposite corner, far away from potentially harming Pomni again.
Wincing, Pomni used the shelf to pull herself to her feet. She leaned against it to steady herself.
"I-I'll just...go see Caine...."
As she made her way to the tent's entrance, Pomni made sure to keep her gait steady. She didn't want to keep worrying Jax if she stumbled.
Once the flap had closed behind her, Pomni leaned one hand on her knee and wrapped the other around her midsection as another glitch wracked her.
"Ow," she hissed before forcing herself upright. "All right..."
Finding Caine was going to be the difficult part. While she could just call him to where she was, she didn't want to talk to him outside of Jax's tent. Didn't want Jax hear Caine suggest the aquarium if he was becoming dangerous.
It had been an accident and Jax had looked apologetic for hurting her. Only she would fully understand he wouldn't hurt her.
At the very least there were three places Caine was likely to be: his office, Kinger's fort, or the stage. If he was in his office, she would be better off calling for him rather than figuring a way into the hot air balloon by herself.
After checking Kinger's fort to see it devoid of both the AI ringmaster and the chess piece, Pomni made her way to the stage.
Sitting near the edge, Kinger kneeled on the stage in front of a computer, typing on the keyboard.
Caine watched Kinger working on the computer, laying on his stomach with his chin in his hands. His legs idly kicked back and forth behind him.
Every few seconds, he would point at the screen, directing Kinger to alter an input or calculation.
"Try that formulation next to that root."
Kinger nodded, tapping several keys for a few more seconds before pressing enter to run whatever program they were testing.
After staring at the screen for a few tense seconds, they both jerked back at the result.
"Oh," Caine said.
Kinger chuckled. "I don't think we want to explode the abstractions, Caine."
Caine scowled at Kinger before pushing himself to his knees and moving closer to the computer. He pointed to something. "Ah, looks like you missed a piece of the variable in the statement."
Kinger blinked, leaning closer to the screen before he muttered, "You're right."
As he began typing again, Pomni stepped closer to the stage, clearing her throat.
"Uh, Caine?"
Caine perked up at her voice, immediately zipping over and floating inches from her face. He was still learning about personal space and not startling the circus residents by moving rapidly. He ended up forgetting a lot of times when he was excited.
"Pomni!" He blinked, moving back a foot when he realized the personal space boundary, and spotted the glitches. He snapped his fingers to fix the corruption on her avatar.
Pomni sighed, rubbing her stomach. The immediate pain had faded but the ache remained.
Kinger hopped down from the stage and approached Pomni, expression concerned. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," mumbled Pomni, keeping her gaze on the ground to avoid looking at him.
Kinger always had a way of getting others to listen to him when he was sane. Perhaps it was the father figure in him.
"Pomni." Kinger set a hand on Pomni's shoulder. "You can't keep going like this."
"I—" Pomni started, but Kinger interrupted her.
"Let me finish." Kneeling in front of her, Kinger stared at her seriously. "I understand this was an accident. Jax wouldn't maliciously hurt you. I also understand how you feel. If this were Queenie, I'd likely do the same thing. It just shows how much you love him. But you can't keep going like this or you'll burn out."
Caine lowered himself until his feet touched the ground. He removed his hat, turning it in his hands, upper jaw furrowed in concern. "We're all concerned for you, Pomni. You rarely eat and when you do sleep, it's with Jax."
"He won't hate you for taking care of yourself," Kinger murmured. "Please, take a break. Just for today."
Pomni blinked as she fought the burning in her eyes and tightness in her throat. A wave of exhaustion washed over her. She sighed, shoulders slumping. "All right."
"Remember, you don't have to do this alone." Kinger smiled. "We're all in this together."
Returning the smile with her own weaker one, Pomni walked away. She stopped a few feet away, looking back at Kinger and Caine.
Kinger gave her a thumbs up which she returned before continuing.
As Pomni got further away, Kinger lowered his hand.
"Did you get a good scan?"
Caine nodded, dropping his gaze to the floor. The grip on the rim of his hat tightened. "I don't really like having to scan her..."
"It's necessary. What's the percentage?"
"48.57%"
Kinger sighed, turning to the stage. "Let's keep going with the test runs. The faster we find a reversal, the better."
As Pomni trudged to the halls leading to the dorms, she slowed down when she saw Ragatha approaching from the right.
Ragatha wore blue jeans and a plaid button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Dirt and bits of hay stuck to her clothes. She must have just finished caring for the horses.
Ragatha halted when she spotted Pomni. She grinned, raising a hand. "Oh. Hey, Pomni!"
"Hey." Pomni avoided Ragatha's gaze, holding her upper right arm.
"Are you...all right?"
"I'm...fine."
Ragatha's eye darted to the hallway then back to Pomni. "Were you headed to your room?" When Pomni nodded, she added, "I could join you, if you'd like."
Ragatha followed Pomni and they made their way down the hallway in silence.
"Hey, Ragatha?"
Pomni's voice breaking the silence startled Ragatha. She looked at Pomni, clasping her hands in front of her. "Uh, yeah? What's up?"
"Do you know...what love feels like?"
A nervous laugh bubbled out of Ragatha and she folded her arms across her chest, resting a hand beneath her chin as she looked to the right. "Wh-why do you ask...something like that?"
"Kinger said something about me and...Jax." Pomni kept her gaze away from Ragatha, but the grip on her arm tightened. "I just wanted to know if that's what this feeling is."
"Oh, well..." Ragatha tapped her chin as she thought about the question. Her eyes dropped to Pomni. "I suppose, to me, love is...wanting to be near the person. Help them with whatever they need. I want them to know they can come to me with whatever problems they're having and that I won't judge them or turn them away. I want them to feel safe and know they're loved. It's warm like summer rays and—"
Pomni glanced up at Ragatha and she quickly tore her gaze away, dropping her hands to her side and clenching them with another awkward laugh. She hoped she had been fast enough that Pomni couldn't see the blush crossing her face.
"A-all hypothetical, of course. Th-that's just...what I think love is."
Humming, Pomni looked away. She walked to her door when they reached it.
"What did Kinger say about you and Jax?"
"He said that I loved him," Pomni murmured, setting her hand on the doorknob. She smiled softly. "I think I just might."
A somber smile crossed Ragatha's face. "He needs someone like you."
"I wish I'd done enough before to show that he was worthy of being loved. I should have tried harder to be a better friend."
"Pomni..."
As Pomni opened her door, she turned to Ragatha. "Can you do something for me?"
"Anything."
"Can you tell Jax that I won't see him today? I don't want him to worry."
Ragatha blinked before she gave an awkward smile. "Oh. Sure—"
"I mean in his mindscape," Pomni added quickly, realizing Ragatha thought she meant the abstraction.
"His...mind?" Ragatha shook her head, raising her hands. "I-I'm not sure. I don't even know how—"
"It's not that hard," Pomni insisted. "Tell Zooble what you're doing and they'll wait for you for a few minutes outside the tent before pulling you out. Just put your forehead against his and think about wanting to talk to him."
"Mm..." Ragatha's eyes dropped to the ground. She clasped her hands together, nervously swinging them as she rocked back and forth. "I-I don't know...what if he doesn't want to see me...?"
Pomni chuckled, shaking her head. "He'll just have to deal with it."
"Pomni," Ragatha said as Pomni stepped into her room and began to close her door.
Pomni stopped, glancing at Ragatha out of the corner of her eye, her door open partway.
Ragatha considered her next words carefully, dropping her gaze to her hands as she rubbed them together anxiously. "We're all...concerned for you, you know. If you continue down this path of self-destruction, we're worried that you'll...abstract as well."
For several moments, Pomni stared at Ragatha, the bags under her eyes more prominent in the sliver of light shining in from the dorm hallway, before she looked away. The darkness of her room cast a dark shadow over her face.
"Would that be so bad...?" She whispered. Her voice cracked. "Maybe it should have been me. Perhaps then this pain inside will finally stay still."
Ragatha's mouth opened and she reach a hand towards Pomni, but door shut with a quiet click.
She stared at the door for a bit, as if a red X would cross it at any moment, before she turned to leave. Her eye caught sight of Jax's door and she stopped, looking at it.
The door was slightly ajar.
Walking over to Jax's room, Ragatha set her hand on the doorknob. A part of her considered opening the door to look inside, but she decided against it and closed the door. She had seen inside Jax's room a few times. The first time had been when she realized that Pomni didn't just sleep in Jax's tent; she also slept in his room.
It had been shortly after Jax's abstraction. Ragatha had decided to go to Pomni's room to check up on how she was doing and had spotted Jax's door open slightly. The sight had been a bit startling at first, because there was no reason for anyone to go into his room, but she had been drawn closer by the sound of quiet sobbing. Inside, Pomni had been curled up on the bed, buried in his blanket with her back to the door.
After that, Ragatha knew that if Pomni wasn't in Jax's tent, she was more than likely sleeping in his room.
As she stepped back, Ragatha stared at Jax's grinning face and the ugly red X crossing over it. Honestly, she shouldn't have been shocked that him and Pomni became so close; she was a lot like Ribbit in her stubbornness and willingness to call Jax out on his bullshit.
She wasn't surprised that Pomni had become entranced by him, seeing something in him that he let no one see, some sort of vulnerability that he kept close to his chest. When had it started? The Stargazing Adventure? Sooner, at Spudsy's? Something had clicked and changed between them. It had flipped just as fast after the Gun Adventure, which Pomni avoided all discussion of.
Ragatha had made peace with the fact that she could never have Pomni. It didn't mean she was going to sit idly by and let Pomni destroy herself over Jax. Ragatha still needed her. Everyone did. After all, she was the one who had rallied them against Caine during his crash out.
Setting a hand against his door, Ragatha stared at the face plate for a second longer before she turned and made her way to Jax's tent. As Pomni said, she alerted Zooble—who was relaxing on one of the couches in the lounge area with Gangle—of her intentions. Zooble had seemed momentarily surprised, as Pomni was the only one who had dove into Jax's mind, before they gave a single nod and promised to retrieve her in ten minutes.
Inside, the tent was dimly lit by the fairy lights strung all around. Light enough to see, but not bright enough to cause Jax to go berserk. To the left was the Adventure shelf Pomni had made so Jax could see the adventures they had gone on. And in right hand corner was Jax, laying on the ground, multitude of eyes closed.
Odd. Usually he was sleeping in the center of the tent.
As soon as she started to approach, Jax's ears perked and he raised his head, eyes opening. Their colors cast rainbow shades across the tent's cloth sides.
Ragatha froze, clutching her hands to her chest as all his eyes fixed on her. It had been a while since she had visited and she wasn't even sure if he recognized her.
After a moment, Jax's ears sagged and he set his head back on the ground. His eyes drooped to half-crescents. Not quite closed. He seemed almost disappointed.
Ragatha giggled, realizing that Jax was pouting. "I'm sorry. I guess you were expecting Pomni."
Jax's eyes fluttered open fully and he stared up at Ragatha as she came closer. He didn't move, though his ears lifted slightly.
Kneeling in front of Jax, Ragatha set a hand against the side of his face. She instinctively flinched, expecting sharp glitches to stab her hands, but was surprised when no such thing happened.
Breathing in deeply, Ragatha pressed her forehead against Jax's and closed her eyes.