Chapter Text
Stella’s lungs burn as she runs.
She has no idea how long she’s been moving, how long she’s been panicking, or how far she’s gone, but she keeps running. People pass by as she darts down the streets of Armory One and she dodges them as she keeps up her frantic pace, desperate to put as much distance as she can between herself and the mission she’s abandoning.
She was raised to be a soldier, to be a killer - priceless personnel. But she’s never wanted to live like that. It’s in recent days after being put into service, she’s come to realize that she can’t do this anymore - that she can’t keep up this facade. She’s terrified. Life isn’t supposed to be filled with this much anxiety and fear. So many people live peacefully, doing calm, lovely things with their days - why can’t she?
Stopping at a crosswalk, she tries to catch her breath as she repositions her blue and white flowing dress. People give her curious looks but no one offers any aid or asks any questions. She’s grateful. She has no idea what she’d say. She herself hardly knows what she’s doing, what will come next. All she’s doing is running on pure adrenaline and denial of the one thing she was sent here to do.
The foot traffic signal turns green and she resumes running, darting across the street and returning to her frantic pace. Her feet hurt - running in heels is no easy task - and she’s sure her heart could give out from the mix of emotions and ceaseless sprinting she’s doing, but she keeps running anyway. Finally, the street ends at a little coffee shop overlooking the ocean. She leans over the railing, panting for air as she stares out over the waves. The sight is beautiful. She’d give anything to enjoy it, but it’s more than she’s capable of in this state.
What is she going to do now?
Where is she going to go?
What’s life going to be like now that she’s deserted her post?
While the questions swirl in her mind, the coffee shop’s door opens off to her right and she turns, watching a young man step out. He looks like he’s in a hurry himself, but when he notices her staring, he stops and gives her a curious look.
“Are you okay? You look like you can hardly breathe.”
Stella tears her gaze away from him, looking back out over the ocean as he approaches. “I’m…fine.”
“Are you sure? You sound like you could drop dead any second!”
Her body jolts at the word.
Death.
No.
That’s what she’s been running from. Combat. The risk of death. More war. More fighting. Her legs shake more than she can bear and she sinks to the concrete beneath her, a hand still clutching the railing before her. Tears stream down her cheeks and she whimpers, doing her best not to cry out loud in front of this stranger.
“I don’t…want to die. I’m scared.”
He’s taken aback, standing frozen in shock before rushing to her side. “What’s going on? What happened? Can I help you up?”
Stella shakes, her grip tightening at the railing. “I had to get away.”
He kneels down beside her, his face soft with worry. “From what?”
“War,” she whispers. “I don’t want to fight.”
There’s a silence as the tears continue to stream down her face. He looks away, clearly in thought. “Sometimes we have to fight. But what do you have to fight for?”
“I…was raised to fight.”
Another silence. Stella gazes at him, blinking back her tears. Why is she telling him all this? What is she doing?
“If you don’t want to do that anymore…maybe you shouldn’t.”
“But what will I do? Where will I go?”
He stands, leaning back against the railing and looking down at her. “That’s up to you. What’s your name?”
She hesitates before answering. What does it matter now? She’s already told him so much. “Stella.”
“I’m Shinn.”
“Shinn,” she whispers to herself.
“Stella!”
Her head snaps up and she looks over her shoulder, her heart starting to race again when she sees her comrades running towards her. Sting and Auel. They actually followed? They should have just let her go! She hangs her head. They’ll probably drag her back now.
“Who are you?” Auel asks with narrowed eyes as he stops before Shinn. “You’re not bothering her, are you?”
“Who am I?” Shinn shoots back. “Who are you?”
“Don’t fight,” Stella says softly as she stands and turns to face Auel. “I’ll…go back with you.”
“But you don’t want to go back. You shouldn’t,” Shinn says. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Stella, what did you tell this guy?” Sting asks, crossing his arms.
Shinn turns a glare on him. “You’re military, I know that much. Don’t know what you’re up to, though.”
Auel and Sting look at each other and Stella turns her gaze to her feet. She knows she’s said too much. She knows she’s jeopardized the entire mission, not only for herself, but for Sting and Auel, too. Part of her thinks she should feel guilty - but she doesn’t.
“Just forget it,” Sting says. “Let’s go, Stella.”
“Where are you stationed anyway? I’ve never seen you around,” Shinn presses.
“He said forget it,” Auel says, his voice full of aggression. “Drop it.”
Stella grips her hair, her anxiety rising again. She doesn’t think. There’s nothing in her mind but the desire to get away from this, to keep running, to put an end to all this. Her hands rip from her hair to grip the rail and she throws herself over, slipping as her feet meet loose dirt and rocks of a steep hill below. There isn’t any time to register anything, just that she’s tumbling down towards the ocean while the three men she’s left behind shout her name with disbelief.
She doesn’t even know how to swim.
But she doesn’t care.
This all has to end.
The cold of the water stabs through her as her body makes contact with it, and she struggles to move away from the hill and the calls of her name behind her. Maybe she’ll drown here…the thought fills her with fear but it’s also calming. She thinks maybe it’d be better than dying in battle.
As she flails, there’s a hand at her shoulder, pulling her closer, but all she can focus on is trying to keep herself afloat. It’s a flurry of movement, of splashing of limbs and the waves push her further and further down the waterline.
“Stella, stop struggling!” Auel’s voice comes.
Then there’s Sting’s voice. “You’re not doing anything to help, here!”
And finally, Shinn’s. “You’ll be okay if you stop thrashing around!”
It clicks in her mind that all three have gone in after her, and the realization alone has her pausing, taking in the worried faces as they surround her and grip at her to keep her head above the water.
“Good,” Shinn says with a sigh. “You’re good.”
Sting looks over his shoulder, eying the rocky hill they’d come from. It’s far off in the distance now, and he huffs as he turns to look ahead on the shoreline. “There’s a beach off that way. We’re better off getting out there.”
The three help Stella along to the little stretch of sand that slopes up to a quiet street leading away from the businesses that line the shore. They pull themselves from the water and Stella hugs herself, cold and uncomfortable.
“That was really stupid,” Auel chides, giving her a soft shove. “You’re ruining everything today.”
Sting pulls his communicator from his pocket and grimaces at the waterlogged device. “Won’t be getting in contact with Neo on this.”
“Who’s Neo?” Shinn asks. “Seriously, who are you guys?”
None of them say a word, and Stella starts off towards the road under the weight of her soaked dress. She has to keep going. She has to make sure she’s as far from what she’s supposed to do as she can get.
“Stella, come back,” Sting says firmly as he follows behind her. “We need to regroup.” He reaches out to grab her arm but she bats him away.
“I’m not going back.”
Sting gives her a look of pure frustration. “What are you going to do, then?”
Stella turns away, her eyes lowered. “I don’t know. I’ll…go back to Earth. Maybe I’ll hide for a while.”
“You’re from Earth?” Shinn asks with surprise before his eyes narrow into slits. “Wait, are you with the Earth Forces? What are you doing here?”
“Jig’s up, Sting,” Auel says as he puts his hands on his hips. “What do you want me to do with this guy?”
Shinn scoffs. “You couldn’t do anything with me even if you tried, Natural.”
Auel gives him a haughty smirk. “You’d be surprised.”
“Enough,” Sting barks. “There’s no point in fighting. We’re miles from the target and Stella isn’t coming. I can’t contact Neo. They’re going to think we deserted.”
“I am deserting,” Stella says with force. She stomps off towards the road before Sting can grab her again. “I’m going back to Earth. I’m not living like this anymore, Sting!”
The three follow after her as Auel protests. “You’re not going to go back to Earth from here. You know you have to depart from Aprilius One.”
“Then I’ll go there!” Stella announces as she starts off down the road, shivering as air blows over her from the cars that pass. “Are you coming or are you going to stay here and try to do what we were tasked with?”
“Well, we’re already screwed,” Auel says flippantly. He runs to catch up to Stella, stopping before her. “Maybe going on the run would be fun.”
“As long as you get the fuck off of Amory One, I don’t care what you do,” Shinn says, his eyes still narrowed. “You can’t be here.”
“Are you going to tell anyone about this?” Sting asks.
“No. I just want you to get out of here. Do it for Stella. Okay?”
Stella gives Shinn a smile. “Thank you, Shinn. I’m so tired of fighting. I just want to live a peaceful life. There’s nothing I want more than that.”
Shinn nods. “Then go. Make it happen, Stella. I know you can do it.”
Sting and Auel exchange an uncertain look before resignation washes over their faces.
“I miss my mother,” Auel says quietly as tears form along his lashes. “Oh, god…I hope she’s okay. Sting, we have to get back to Earth. I have to see my mother.”
Sting sighs. “Well, it looks like you two have made up your minds. Nothing I can do now but take care of you. We’ll go back to Earth.”
Stella smiles wide and a feeling of pure relief washes over her, warming her cold body. This is exactly what she’s dreamed of - getting away from this with her two closest friends…her only friends. She never imagined they’d come along, deserting their posts alongside her. It’s almost too good to be true.
And as they part ways with Shinn, the three heading towards the port at the center of Amory One and Shinn heading back into town, her heart pounds with excitement this time instead of fear. Maybe life will be joyful. Maybe she won’t have to be afraid anymore. And maybe Sting and Auel will come to see that this was the right decision to make. Nothing good was ever going to come out of what they were tasked with. And Stella can’t see herself fighting through a war. This is good. This is right. This is going to make everything so much better.
All they have to do is get back to Earth.