Chapter Text
It began, as such tales often do, without fanfare. No special event foretold the misfortune that would follow. Little Johnny was having an overall decent day when his DOS agent, Jingyi Fang, ambushed him in the training room with a tablet and an air of determination about her; politely praising his progress, as she often would, before pouncing with whatever happened to be on her agenda for the day. It was something of a routine between them at this point. Jingyi Fang was a young talent at DOS, and Little Johnny's recent success in the Hero Rankings counted as her success as well, one that she was keen to uphold. Little Johnny liked her; she was good at motivating him, and seemed genuinely invested in his career. It was just that she could get… intense about it. Like she was right now.
He scanned the mission list on the tablet she handed him, flicking it with his finger to show all the entries. There weren't too many of them… way less than he was used to, actually, which took him by surprise at first. He quickly realized why, though.
"Miss Jingyi," he said hesitantly, still scrolling in hopes of revealing some additional section of the list, but it stubbornly refused to appear. "These are all combat missions."
"To varying degrees, yes," his agent agreed, and Little Johnny looked at her, puzzled. "Your ranking is stalling," she explained gently, like she was talking to a frightened animal. "It would be good for you to be seen in the field more often."
"Sure, but— I mean, I'm not exactly a combat type. Yet, anyway."
She tilted her head to the side. "When we discussed your career goals you stated an interest in rebranding in that direction."
"Yeah, but—"
"Then this would be the most opportune time to begin."
Little Johnny waved his hands in a panic. This was getting out of control! "But I'm not done with my training! I'm barely stronger than I used to be!"
"This would be a part of your training! If the public learns to expect to see you in more combat situations, it'll cause your Trust Value skills to develop more towards that context." Miss Jingyi took a step towards him and carefully put a hand on his shoulder. "Please trust me; trust the agency. We have seen this effect at work hundreds of times."
Ugh, she was being so earnest about it, too!
"I guess, but—" he was running out of arguments, and she wasn't hearing what he was trying to say at all. He wasn't ready to start on being more combat oriented! Why was she pushing this so hard?
Little Johnny looked around feverishly, searching for inspiration for another angle. His eyes found Big Johnny, sat a few steps away in their half-open gym bag and observing the conversation with curiosity. He blinked. Big Johnny blinked back.
"What am I supposed to actually do before that happens? Duck and hide? Probably won't help my public image much."
"Well, Big Johnny can defend you, no? It'd be great timing for him to shine, we've been monitoring the narrative on FOMO and the people are eager to see him transform again, it's been a while."
A cold shiver ran up Little Johnny's spine. For a fraction of a second, the memory of the ruins incident washed over him like a flood wave; the helplessness of it, the terror, the pain. Noticing his discomfort, Big Johnny mrrped softly, tilting his round head to the side. Little Johnny thought of his tiny body bulging and growing, shifting violently into its monstrous form as though the fury couldn't be contained within him anymore and he had to grow to accommodate it.
His heart was hammering in his throat.
"No."
Miss Jingyi blinked, taken aback. "…no?"
Shoot. Not very on brand for the upbeat mascot type, huh.
He attempted to shake the memories off and cover the change in tone with a laugh. "Ahaha, no offense, but… it's a bit of a crazy idea, right? Like, here," he turned back towards his agent and shoved the tablet at her, pointing at one of the missions on the list, "getting a criminal ring out of this office building they're occupying? It'd be so dangerous for Big Johnny to go berserk in a busy district like that, he'd bring the whole building down on people's heads— probably more than one, actually."
Despite his somewhat desperate pointing, Miss Jingyi wasn't even looking at the screen; she was watching him instead, no doubt trying to puzzle his reaction out. He held her gaze until she looked down at the tablet again, frowning. "But you can control him."
"Only some! He gets so unpredictable! Destroys stuff all around. Getting him to transform should really be a last resort thing, you know?"
Please drop it. Please.
"Well," his agent took the tablet out of his hand and tucked it under her arm, still frowning. "If you're sure. We can put it off for a bit longer."
Score!
"Thank you," Little Johnny said, not even trying to conceal how genuinely grateful he was. She wasn't done with him yet, though.
"But you two need to make an appearance in public soon," she declared, abandoning her gentle tone for a more peremptory one. "And at something bigger than a fundraiser. You transferred to us to change your image; I can respect your wish to go at a slower pace, but we still need to take some steps if we're to reach that goal at all."
Little Johnny thought that if he had cat ears like his son, they'd be pressed flat against his head right now.
"I know," he agreed, dejected. She was right, of course, he knew that, it was just— too early, was all. He needed just a bit more time.
"I'll look for something less demanding for you in the meantime," his agent promised. "Civilian rescue, perhaps, or disaster response."
"Thanks, Miss Jingyi. You're the best."
At last she smiled, and Little Johnny knew he managed to appease her. "It's my job to be. I'll leave you to your training."
He watched her leave, feeling very much like he hadn't really avoided a catastrophe, but simply delayed it a little. The thought sat heavy on his mind. As soon as Miss Jingyi disappeared beyond the training room door, though, Little Johnny sensed an altogether different wave of disapproval, emanating distinctly from somewhere behind him.
He turned to find Big Johnny scowling at him fiercely from his place in the bag, irritation flowing off of him in waves.
"What's with you?" Little Johnny asked, bemused. "Want to be out there fighting, too? Well, you gotta wait for me to catch up. I can't have you doing all the work."
Big Johnny yowled, clearly still unhappy. However, right at the same time, Little Johnny's phone pinged, alerting him to a message from Cyan.
"Ahhh shoot, I totally forgot we were supposed to go out with Cyan and Liu Yuwei today!" He scrambled to grab the bag and his moody son with it. "Come on, let's hit the showers and we'll only be a little late."
***
"I don't get it," Cyan said, sipping on her boba tea with a frown. "You did say you wanted to get stronger."
Little Johnny sighed. "I know."
"And you've made progress with your training."
"I know."
"And you'll have to start taking on more combat missions at some point."
"I KNOW!" He dragged his hands down his face and looked pleadingly at Liu Yuwei, who sat across the table from him nursing an osmanthus tea and had yet to speak. "A little help maybe?"
"Cyan is trying to help you," Liu Yuwei said, though no matter how kind and gentle her tone was, it was not what Little Johnny wanted to hear. She looked down at her cup for a moment before continuing, "It's okay to be scared."
"I'm not scared!" Little Johnny protested, indignant. Cyan gave an exasperated huff in response.
"Yes, you are! And anyone would be! It's normal to be scared of fighting! It's SCARY!"
"Hey, keep it down!" he hissed at her, looking around. They were sequestered in the corner of the cafe, well away from prying eyes and dressed carefully to avoid recognition… but it wasn't like they were alone. They unfortunately had to avoid attracting attention. Going out had gotten difficult since they all made it into the top ten. Little Johnny understood now why most popular heroes tended to stick to the Hero Tower, but he was also pretty sure he'd go stir crazy if he couldn't spend time outside of it every now and then like a normal person.
Was he scared? I mean, maybe a little. He'd almost died back during that ruins exploration mission. Other people did die. He tried his best to defend himself, and it still took combined efforts of Ghostblade, Big Johnny, Queen and Cyan to even keep him alive.
He gave a half-hearted stir to his own drink. "You weren't scared when you got your first serious mission," he mumbled.
"Yes we were!" Cyan whisper-shouted at him, and then looked at Liu Yuwei for support. "Tell him!"
"Of course we were," Liu Yuwei agreed, and smiled when she saw the surprise on Little Johnny's face. "Oh, Ah Johnny, do you think I'm never afraid? Fear is a natural response to danger. It's there to help us fight - or escape. But we do need to learn to manage it, so it doesn't consume us."
Little Johnny knew he was kind of staring at her, but he didn't care. Even with their growing friendship, this was the last topic of conversation he ever imagined exploring with Queen herself! And in the corner of a no-name cafe, on a mild summer afternoon. Insane.
"How do you do it?" he asked her. Liu Yuwei averted her eyes and shrugged delicately, somehow managing to make even this common gesture seem subtle and elegant.
"You learn," she said simply. "Yourself, primarily. You learn your strengths so you can begin to trust them. You learn your weaknesses so you can begin to plan around them. When you understand your own limits, you learn to recognize when the fear is warranted." She looked back at Little Johnny and smiled in a way that he began to recognize as bashful. "But look at me, turning it into a lecture. We were supposed to be having fun today."
"I am having fun!" Cyan chimed in a little breathlessly from Little Johnny's left. He turned towards her, sipping at his own tea and immediately regretting it when the starstruck look she was giving Liu Yuwei actually made him choke. "Aren't you?" she had the audacity to ask him as he fought for his life between laughter and tea waterboarding.
"Oh yeah— loads of fun," he croaked, then cleared his throat. "So," back to Liu Yuwei, "you're saying I should just continue to train?"
She hesitated. "Yes, but… there's more to that. You need to test your strength to know its limits," she looked at him with sympathy. "I'm sorry. Your agent is right."
Little Johnny sighed. "Of course she is."
Cyan patted him on the back in a way he was sure meant to be encouraging. "No need to do it all at once, though, right? Small steps!"
"Small steps," Liu Yuwei agreed gravely.
Little Johnny looked down at his tea and contemplated drowning himself in it.
No doubt aware of his discomfort, Liu Yuwei mercifully chose to let him off the hook and change the subject. "I've been meaning to ask," she said, "but where's Big Johnny?"
"Oh," this time it was Little Johnny's turn to shrug. "He didn't want to come. I think he's mad with me for how I blew Miss Jingyi off. He wants us to be fighters as well."
"Aw, I wanted his take on my new lyrics," said Cyan, clearly disappointed. Little Johnny laughed.
"I'm not sure he'd have one."
"Are you kidding me? He's got impeccable taste for these things. Hasn't let me down yet," she got a few boba pearls in her straw and chewed on them for a moment. "He already is a fighter, though. He could help you out."
"That's exactly what Miss Jingyi said!" Little Johnny complained. "But you've seen him transform! He has to get so angry and sad to do that, it's awful! What kind of father would I be if I put him through that on purpose?"
"It is difficult to watch," Liu Yuwei agreed.
Cyan put her hand to her mouth, eyes wide. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even think about it that way," she admitted through her fingers. "I have to give him extra hugs next time."
"Once he's done sulking," Little Johnny agreed, not knowing yet how long they'd have to wait for that to happen.