Work Text:
Liu Xiao entered his apartment. Li Tianchen was already here. It still felt odd to Liu Xiao to come home and see someone there. They had just had dinner with Yuan and Vien, but Liu Xiao had to drop a yuan off at his new home, so Tianchen went ahead.
Liu Xiao knew something was off about Tianchen, but he couldn’t put a finger on it. His suspicion was confirmed by the heavy silence. The kind of silence that wasn't really silence at all. He is familiar with this kind of silence. It continued for weeks after Xixi’s death. He knows Tianchen is struggling, but it's been so long since her death.
So why now?
He stops outside Tianchen’s room. The sobs sound so clear through the thin walls.
‘Maybe it’s not her this time. Maybe this time I can kinda help, ’Liu Xiao thinks.
Tianchen was sitting on the floor, folded in on himself, his knees pulled tightly against his chest. His head snapped up at the sound, face wet with tears, eyes already red and swollen, and for a brief second, the two of them simply stared at each other.
“What do you want?” his voice strained as he tried to hold back tears.
“What happened?” Liu Xiao leaned against the doorframe.
“Fuck off already”, he spat out the words
“You can swear at me all you want… but at least tell me what I did "
“Like you care”
“I do-”
“BULLSHI! You thought I was a beast you could use, realised you were wrong, so you - so you” He swallowed hard ”just up and left, and then you come back when you realise I am still useful”
“What-”
“Have you ever seen anything in me except my power?”
“I said it today. That I chose you because-”
“Because of ‘my determination to protect my family '. Can you please tell me when I did that ?”
Ok. So this was what triggered it
“Listen, you took it the wrong -”
“You know that EVERY SINGLE PERSON I EVER CALLED FAMILY IS DEAD”
He was shouting now
“I killed them, all of them. That fucking bastard, Mom, and Xixi “
“Hey, none of that was your fault, Tianchen.” Liu Xiao stepped closer, trying his best to comfort
“I failed them all, and you just had to poke around, right? I am sure you like me all broken and pathetic. Wouldn’t I be more obedient like this? knowing I have nothing but you”
“I wasn’t trying to poke you, if anything, you being this… messed up makes everything worse”
“Don’t lie, I know you can hear it, walls are too thin. I saw it every time you choose to ignore it and walk away “
Liu Xiao is lost, he wants to say something but can’t
“I didn't know what to say. And honestly, do you really think my comfort would have helped you?”
“You could've said something. Your fucking presence or just an acknowledgement would’ve done lots, but people don’t do such things for weapons, do they?”
“Why do you keep calling yourself a weapon? I never-”
“Oohh, my bad, let me rephrase, it's ‘a gift sent from heaven’. That sounds so much better, sugar-coated” his mouth twisted into a bitter smile. Mocking him
Ok, now he is just pushing it, how can he be offended by a compliment
“If you’re looking for pointless reasons to fight, just say my hat’s shit and punch me “
“Pfft-” Tianchen gives out a dry chuckle “But for real, would you’ve come back if I didn’t have powers?”
Liu Xiao‘s words were stuck in his throat. He wanted to say yes, that it doesn’t matter cause they friends
“I... don’t know.”
“Tianchen, you know, when I saw you stand up for your sister that day, I saw something foreign. I saw a brother protecting his sister .”
Liu Xiao lowered his voice to a whisper, but the silence was louder than anything
“Something I never had. People that protect and care for each other . My brother, or my whole family for that matter, doesn’t care about shit”.
The room seemed to shrink around them.
“Family.” Tianchen stopped crying but was still angry. “You want family, Liu Xiao? I killed mine. They died while trying to protect me. It's always everyone else protecting me. Even right now, you are protecting me. Look, I AM NOTHING BUT PATHETIC RIGHT NOW”
ok so he is crying again.
“Xixi must be regretting giving her life for such a pathetic guy”
“You don’t know that”
“Oh yeah. You know why, cause i left her bleeding in that tunnel, cause i was failed to understand her“ his breathing hitched.
“You did your best, you did everything in your power-”
“But you weren’t there, you were never there. You came before and after it, but you were not there, so…” He swallowed. “Forget it.”
Liu Xiao slowly sat down on the floor a few feet away from him.
“Don’t say anything”
“I don't know what to say.”
Neither of them spoke for a few seconds,
He wasn't crying anymore. He looked tired. But present. Just present.
“Why does Yuan get a new apartment, but I have to live in yours?”
HUH “Get to the point-”
“Just wondering. It’s not like we are friends or anything. I know more about Liu Min than you, so why do you act as one?” Tianchen wasn’t shouting or crying, but Liu Xiao did not like this even a little bit
“It... isn’t like-’Liu Xiao couldn't answer
“Come on, you disappeared without any warning because you did not want me to think such things “
“I think of you as a friend, I always have”
“Lies” The accusation was quiet, even worse than if he'd shouted it.
“You always used that word to get me to do things, to control me. But now you don't have to use it. You can simply ask cause i need you, so use me all you want-” His voice cracked ”that’s all there is left of me“
For once, Liu Xiao couldn't find an answer, and the silence seemed to settle the argument for him. Tianchen gave a small, bitter laugh and looked away.
Liu Xiao shifted closer.
“Can you go away.”
Liu Xiao stopped.
Tianchen rubbed his face, exhausted.
“Seriously. Go to your room.”
“I don't think you should be alone right now.”
“I don't care what you think.”
“Tianchen—”
“Forget this happened.”
Liu Xiao said nothing.
“Forget what I said. Forget that you saw me like this. Forget this whole fucking conversation.”
His voice was quieter now,
“Please.”
He hesitated at the door, but when he saw Tianchen turn his face away, he finally stepped out and closed the door behind him.
Tianchen was alone again, and this time, the silence felt worse.