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“Ugh… that was such a horrible concert…” Minori slumped down against the wall, exhausted from what had happened earlier. She could hear the muffled voices of Shizuku and Shiho talking in the living room, discussing something she had neither the energy nor state of mind to care about. Shizuku had invited her over to the Hinomori household, originally to celebrate More More Jump’s latest and biggest concert, but now more to comfort the badly shaken girl.
The concert itself had been a moderate success, yet with one minor hiccup that Minori had been responsible for. She had slipped and fell on stage, which although not actually injuring her physically past some minor bruises had held up the concert for a while. The sheer embarrassment of falling on stage as an idol and delaying the entire event coupled with her own insecurities as the least experienced member of More More Jump created a perfect storm that completely shattered her mental state, causing her to collapse to the floor backstage after the concert, sobbing uncontrollably. Why? Why did I have to fall back there? I’ve ruined the entire concert now…Minori
In the end, she had only stopped crying to appear presentable at the after-concert meet and greet, and had been completely silent on the way to the house, instantly collapsing onto the floor in Shiho’s room after, while the sisters were ordering takeout from the other room.
A benefit of going to the Hinomori’s house was that Minori had wanted to spend some time with Shiho, her girlfriend anyway, even if under such unfortunate circumstances. Their busy schedules had kept the two apart recently, owing to the fact that one of them was in a band and the other an idol, not to mention that they both were still in school and Shiho still held a part time job too, making their schedules incredibly full and thus having free time aligned with both schedules was a scarce luxury for the pair.
She still remembered the day Shiho had asked her out for the first time, about three months ago. It was otherwise a wholly unremarkable day, just another normal afternoon in school, when Shiho had approached her in the classroom, face uncharacteristically painted a deep shade of red, stuttering over every word compared to her usual cool and collected demeanor as she tried to ask Minori out to Phoenix Wonderland that weekend. Minori had accepted, since she had adored the silver-haired girl for a while herself, and was also won over by Shiho’s clearly sincere request. Reminiscing on the day, Minori managed to smile still even in spite of the overwhelming embarrassment and dread she was feeling.
Sitting in the room alone, Minori, in her boredom, autopiloted and defaulted to opening her social media apps to scroll away in an attempt to pass the time. She realised too late she had made a terrible mistake after seeing that all her feeds were plastered with fan cams and heated discussion over her fall on stage. Facing a deluge of controversial titles made to stir engagement such as “Is Minori the WORST MMJ member?” or “Idol Hanasato Minori falling on stage caught on camera” with inflammatory comments like “Such an embarrassment to the rest of the group” tagged underneath, Minori threw her phone violently to the ground after a short scroll, unwilling to keep looking at and being reminded of her failure.
Minori curled up into a ball and started sobbing quietly, overwhelmed with despair at the complete mess she had unwittingly created and was now spreading like wildfire across the internet. She knew from painful experience how ruthless the internet was, especially to her, and she knew too that they would not let this go lightly. So she cried to herself, fearing the lasting damage she was sure this had done to her reputation as an idol.
Doubts and worries Minori thought she had buried in the past resurfaced, remembering all the hate comments she had gotten at the start of her career, being in a group with three seasoned veterans while merely a complete greenhorn to the industry, and thus being relentlessly mocked for it. I’ve always been and will always be dead weight next to the others, haven’t I? As much as I hate to admit it, those comments were right. I’ll never be as good as Haruka, Airi, or Shizuku. The voices of doubt in her mind returned in full force, tearing apart the fragile confidence she had painstakingly built up after the tumultuous beginnings to her career.
Of course, her fellow group members had vehemently defended her, yet it was truly undeniable, at least to Minori, that there was a truth in the words of those who mocked her, and this incident was simply another piece of damning evidence to prove them right. She wasn’t on the level of someone like Haruka, Shizuku, or Airi, and in her heart Minori worried that perhaps she never would be, and would only ever be holding the other three back with her lack of ability.
~~
Minori had no idea how much time passed, her body still slumped against the wall while she continued to softly cry alone in the room, before she heard the door suddenly slide open, Shiho walking into the room with a concerned expression on her face. Minori could barely force herself to look up at the door to see who had entered, feeling completely drained of all her energy and wanting nothing more than to crawl into a hole somewhere and just let the earth swallow her whole.
“Hey, I heard something drop earlier, but I was a little busy with ordering- Oh shit, what happened? Is this about earlier?” Seeing the state of her girlfriend, Shiho dropped to Minori’s side in an instant, her expression of mild concern turning into full blown worry, borderline panicking as she knelt beside Minori, who didn’t even respond to her questions, merely staring at her with red, puffy eyes. Shiho knew Minori could get really bad when she was spiraling, having witnessed a few of her breakdowns herself before, and also knowing of Minori’s specific insecurities about being an idol after she had confided in her about them once.
Putting two and two together, Shiho deduced that Minori’s fall must have triggered her anxiety, and looking at the phone halfway across the room confirmed that as it was in the midst of playing a video about Minori and her slip-up at the concert. Looking back at Minori, Shiho was unsure on how to comfort her, Shiho herself not being the best with her own feelings in the first place. What she did recognise was that this was by a long shot the worst she had ever seen Minori, as Shiho realised that Minori had probably been crying for the past ten minutes straight, and it would have been more if Shiho had not come in to check up on her.
Lost on what the best course of action could be, Shiho simply pulled Minori into an embrace, reacting purely on instinct, while the other girl continued to cry, just into Shiho’s shoulder instead. Shiho continued to just embrace Minori tightly, unsure of what to say, unwilling to test her poor luck with words. Eventually, Minori’s crying began to slow, and Shiho could feel the rhythmic inhales and exhales of Minori’s breathing against her feel less erratic.
“You know, they’re probably right. I really am unfit to be performing next to someone like your sister.” Minori’s barely perceptible whisper was only ever so slightly louder than her breathing, yet Shiho’s astute hearing caught every word, and she felt an overwhelming sense of pity for the girl she held in her arms. Shiho of all people was painfully aware of her sister’s immense charm and beauty, not to mention her wealth of experience, since she had had to deal with being the sister of a famous idol for the better part of her life.
“That’s not true, what do those haters on the internet who haven’t experienced a fraction of the training and hardship you’ve completed to get this far know? You’re closer to Shizuku than they’ll ever be to you!” Against her better judgement, words tumbled out of Shiho’s mouth, trying to comfort Minori. It was only after the words had left her that Shiho realised her folly, unable to stop Minori from whipping her head around to face Shiho, a look of deep sadness in her eyes. Shit, I really screwed up this time didn’t I? Shiho cursed quietly under her breath.
“So you admit it too then? That I’m a worse idol than Shizuku? That I don’t belong next to her on the stage? I can’t blame you, I guess, because that is the truth after all, isn’t it?” Minori’s voice was both resigned yet desperate, hoping, praying, for some sort of validation from the girl she loved. I’m just fishing for her pity now, aren’t I? Do I even deserve her pity? But now I know how she feels about me… she really just thinks I’m the worst idol in the group… and she’s right. Minori’s thoughts continued to spiral, Shiho’s poor choice of words akin to pouring gasoline on a raging fire.
“N-no! Wait! That’s not what I meant! I was trying to say that you’re a great idol, and you shouldn’t be believing everything from strangers online, okay?” Shiho frantically tried to explain herself, tripping over her words in her panic to prevent Minori from crashing further. She firmly grasped Minori’s hands with hers and looked into the girl’s eyes she spoke, hoping that the sincerity of the message would be reflected in her actions if her words were not enough.
“You… You’re serious? You think I’m a good idol?” Minori’s voice was still tentative and unsteady, as if forcing out each syllable was a monumental task for her. Of course, I know she’s totally serious, but it’d feel nice to hear her say it. Despite her still feeling , Minori smiled internally at her own selfish request. Shiho’s words had jolted her back to reality, like a lifeline thrown into the endless abyss of doubt she had been drowning in earlier and pulling her out. Minori blinked, and realised the room around her looked clearer, as if the world itself had been lifted from the mental fog clouding her thoughts. She looked at Shiho in front of her, who seemed practically taken aback that Minori could still suggest that she wasn’t a good idol, and her mood lifted slightly knowing she had such a supportive girlfriend to rely on.
“I’ve always thought you were one, Minori, and you know I’ve always been a huge fan of yours. To be honest, it was because of your determination back then that inspired me to get the courage to ask you out in the first place. And in my opinion, I really think this whole thing will blow over eventually anyways, since the internet is always so fickle.” Shiho’s voice was calmer now, carrying a steadiness that could only come from a fully committed belief. Still holding Minori, she saw the other girl was looking much better than when Shiho had first found her crying on the floor, her eyes still wet around the edges but her cheek was drier than before.
“Thanks, Shiho, I really needed to hear that. I’m so glad that I have you, I really don’t know what I’d do without you around.” Minori’s heart felt lighter now, letting out her emotions and being comforted let her feel better in spite of the rest of the situation. Even if the doubts still lingered somewhere in her mind and would perhaps never leave, she felt more confident that she could push away her doubts again, especially with Shiho by her side to help her through it.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all, since the internet does always change to the next big trend. Minori laughed internally, remembering a meeting she recently had, where More More Jump had just been discussing how fast the internet was dropping their trends and how they could stay relevant. Looking back at Shiho, she smiled and pulled her back into an embrace, as a sort of thank you gesture for what Shiho had done.
“It’s alright. We all have our bad days, and you can count on me anytime if you ever need it again, okay? Just call me and I’ll be there as fast as I can.” Shiho cringed internally, remembering some of her own worst times, yet felt a deep sense of relief that Minori was feeling better. She reciprocated the hug, arms wrapped tightly around Minori just as Minori’s were around her, and the two fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying the warmth of each others’ bodies and the comfort of their intimate presence.
Minori had another idea on how to thank Shiho, however, suddenly pushing Shiho back from the embrace, still hugging but far enough where they could face each other. Shiho's face morphed into a look of surprise at Minori’s sudden movements, even more so when Minori placed a hand on Shiho’s cheek, simply asking, “Can I kiss you?”
Shiho was taken completely aback at the question. It wasn’t the first time they had kissed, in fact they had done so many times before, yet the sheer suddenness of the question caught her off-guard, and her cheeks began to turn bright red as she stammered out, “Y-yeah sure, you can.” At this, Minori’s hand found its way to the back of Shiho’s head as she drew her in for a kiss, to which Shiho reciprocated by wrapping her arms back around Minori.
To Minori, the touch of her lips on Shiho’s still felt as electric as their first time, sending a shiver down her spine. The two held the kiss for as long as they could, chasing the feeling of each other’s lips on their own, only stopping and breaking away whenever one needed to catch their breath. The feelings of doubt, worry and sadness seemed to melt away completely, as her mind was completely focused now on Shiho in front of her and the kiss they were sharing.
The love and exhilaration she felt engulfed her, causing her to lose her focus on anything else around her that wasn’t her wonderful girlfriend right in front of her, and she assumed Shiho must have felt the same because Shiho was kissing her back with as much fervor, if not more than she had. I could really get used to this feeling, I feel incredibly better right now. Minori smiled, a full, content smile that reached as far as it possibly could, as they broke away from the kiss once again, watching Shiho catch her breath only to wrap her arms around Minori’s neck and pull her back in wordlessly.
~~
“Shii, the food’s he- Oh, I see the two of you are busy with something~” Shizuku could not help but let out an involuntary gasp as she walked towards the still open door to Shiho’s room, all thoughts of dinner pushed out of her head at the sight she was witnessing. Watching her sister and Minori locked in a deep kiss, she started giggling, akin to a fangirl seeing their favourite idol live. Hearing Shizuku’s voice, both girls looked up to see her with her hand over her mouth, still giggling.
“Shizuku, wait!” Shiho’s voice pitched up significantly, as she released herself from the embrace and ran towards her sister, her face a deep crimson red. Minori herself was also blushing, realising that Shizuku had no idea the two were dating in the first place, and even if she did it was still incredibly embarrassing to have Shizuku walk in on Minori literally kissing her younger sister so brazenly.
The two had never made their relationship known publicly, going as far as to somewhat hide it when the two were out in public. Both of them were somewhat well known figures themselves and it would probably end quite badly if they were to announce it, especially for an idol such as Minori where the idol scene would take horribly to such news. However Shizuku, even as clueless as she was, had had her suspicions due to how close she noticed the two were. But they were never outright confirmed, merely just a gut feeling, at least until now when she walked in on the two.
“No, no, it’s alright, I’ll go get dinner laid out, you two can come when you’re done.” Shizuku pretended to be completely unaffected by the discovery, simply turning around to get the takeout food laid out on the table. Shiho and Minori looked at each other sheepishly, realising they would have to explain their entire relationship to Shizuku now, and followed her to sit at the dinner table, both completely mortified still.
The atmosphere at the dinner table was incredibly tense, Minori and Shiho wearing guilty expressions while Shizuku herself was also somewhat embarrassed. In the end, Minori spoke up first. “Uhh… so… Shizuku, we’ve been dating for… three months now…” Minori stuttered, still unable to get over being caught with Shiho. If it weren’t for what had happened at the concert earlier, Minori swore this would have been the worst thing to happen to her all day.
“Three months? That long? And you never told me? I mean I did have a feeling, but I’m still surprised. My little sister and my groupmate dating…” Shizuku had a smile on her face, the kind that made Shiho uneasy because she knew Shizuku was gearing up to tease her relentlessly about her relationship with Minori. Shiho looked over at Minori, guessing that she felt the same because the other girl appeared to be staring intensely at some especially interesting part of the floor.
“Sis, can you promise to tell no one about this, please? You know how bad it would be if word got out of us dating.” Shiho knew her sister had incredibly loose lips, unable to keep a secret to save her life, so she needed to pre-empt her spreading the news of their relationship all over.
“Not even to the rest of More More Jump?” Shizuku innocently asked, even if her true motives were anything but. Recognising the sarcasm underneath Shizuku’s tone, Shiho felt incredibly exasperated at her older sister. Can’t she just keep it quiet about us? Shiho wondered, yet she knew the answer would be a resounding no if she didn’t make Shizuku swear her silence repeatedly beforehand.
“No, not even them, I really mean when I say no one. I don’t want this to get out more than it already has.” Shiho’s frustrated tone caused Shizuku to be slightly surprised, yet she shrugged and agreed, as in all honesty she knew she wouldn’t go as far as to violate the trust and privacy of the two girls, especially since one was her sister and the other a good friend of hers.
After Shiho and Minori made Shizuku swear herself to silence a few more times for good measure, the three sat down to eat, even if the food at this point had gone somewhat cold from the lengthy conversation beforehand. Sitting at the table next to the Hinomori sisters, despite everything that had transpired Minori felt an odd sense of calm and content wash over her, akin to the way a gentle wave washes up against the coast.
With a close friend and senior of hers, and her loving, wonderful girlfriend both sitting next to her, it felt as if no matter what challenges still lay ahead, she could tackle them head-on with so much support around her. Even if I still have a long way to go before I become as good as the rest of More More Jump, maybe, just maybe, with such great people like these by my side, I’ll make it there.