Chapter Text
My mother's departure had been by far the most unceremonious event of my life.
Though I was hardly two at the time, I vividly remember my mother's placid face the night she bid me farewell. All of my childhood before that point is lost on me.
I'd been lying in my bed for a while unable to sleep, watching the flurries of snow dance outside of my window. Mother had sent me off to bed early when a man in a bronze jacket appeared at our door. I remember hearing their raised voices and her pleas before he abruptly left.
For what felt like hours, I lied there waiting. Waiting for her to come in and tell me everything was okay and sing me to sleep.
The door finally did creak open and mother creeped into the room as quietly as she could. I fought the urge to turn and look at her, instead choosing to pretend that I was asleep.
A small chuckle escaped her lips as she sat down beside me. "(F/N)," she whispered my name in a soothing tone, stroking my (H/C) hair. "I know you're awake."
I smiled, snapping my head back to look at her. The moon danced in her cool, honey eyes as she wrapped her arm around me, pulling me close. I turned my head back, resting my cheek against the pillow. A yawn left my mouth and I closed my eyes.
On the wind,
Across the sea
Hear this song and remember
The memory of that night plays in my mind as a fifteen meter abnormal Titan holds me in its grasp. It stares at me, not with the typical wild eyes of any other Titan - even Eren, for that matter - but with a calm gaze.
Quite ironic. Be at peace while I devour you.
Tears involuntarily stream down my face. It's night and I'm on the wrong side of the walls. Captain Levi isn't here to save me this time. Neither is Commander Erwin or Eren or Reiner. I'm all alone.
Hot, putrid breath fills my nostrils as the Titan draws me closer to its mouth. Without lips, it appears to be smiling. Flat incisors fill the jaws; the blood of my comrades staining the yellow teeth. Thick, sticky saliva extends as its mouth opens more and more.
If the beast holds me any tighter, I will explode.
Slowly, as if it'll give me a few seconds more to live, I look into the eyes of my predator again. It's long black hair kisses my face as it continues to stare with its large ebony orbs.
Why doesn't it just eat me already? Does it feel joy in watching my fear? The fear that until now I didn't know existed?
Soon you'll be
Home with me
She planted a gentle kiss on my cheek. I was already half asleep.
The last thing I heard was the light clicking noise the door made as it closed, sealing me to my night's slumber.
In the morning, she was gone. Only the memory of the night before remains. Nothing more.
Things my heart used to know
Things it yearns to remember
I grow closer to its mouth with every millisecond. This is really it! I'm finally going to die after all of my recklessness! This is the end!
No! I force the thoughts from my head.
It was my decision to join the Survey Corps. It was my choice to give away my equipment to save someone else.
Death over life was my choice. And it is a choice that even into death, I will not regret.