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It was a foolish thought if he was being honest with himself.
It always had been.
–To live without dying.–
It was something that crossed the Purge King’s mind more than once since the mabeast incident in Arlam was sorted out.
He had never taken it seriously, but it did seem possible with Beako and Ram by his side as long as he did not start another criminal organization. Not like Ram would let him, he can't really say no to his beacon of light.
“It was a nice thought at least.”
He had murmured into his orange scarf while looking through the woods around him.
He was very tired, annoyed and about to give up so they could do better next loop, his fingers already grasping a yen coin in one of his tracksuit’s pockets.
Even if Ram has insisted on him stopping to use coins for making decisions, something he himself wanted to stop doing, old habits just don't die that easily.
“This would have been so much easier if that bastard Roswaal didn’t disappear out of nowhere."
Of course the strongest mage in probably the whole world had to vanish just before the Witch Cult decided to invade the mansion. Also Puck is gone too, who seemed to decide that the well being of his daughter was not his problem. His two strongest pieces are gone, but that is fine, they had no color, so he could not trust them anyway.
“Next time I will be ready to–”
“There will be no next time, Barusu.”
As if summoned by his words, Ram appeared right behind him. The Purge King made a cat–like jump, gaining a bit of distance to get a better look at her. The Oni had let her hair get a bit longer during the last month and now wore a soft pink scarf with her maid outfit. She looked stunning, as always, but from Subaru’s point of view she was the most beautiful thing in his gray world. The grass under her feet seemed to gain color once again, like a soft beacon of light and life.
“Some of the villagers have already died before we could evacuate them all, and it will not be long before the cult goes for the mansion. I should do it before Beako comes back, don't you think?”
Ram slowly approached him, her stoic expression on her face never wavering, until she was close enough to smack him on the head with her open palm.
“Tsk! Ram should have expected you to still be this dumb. Not even this fine lady’s efforts are enough to remove all the stupid out of that head of yours.”
“Sorry.”
“If you want to apologize to Ram you better do so with your actions.”
Subaru sighed, how did she expect them to win? He had expected her to want everyone to survive, the inhabitants of Arlam included, but she was capable of accepting losses as long as nobody she loves has died.
“How do you expect us to win?”
"Ram will not give you the answers you seek, Barusu. She knows you can find better ones yourself in this situation."
Huh? Did she just…? That didn’t matter, how did she want him to find a solution for this WITHOUT using Return by Death? Did she know something he didn’t? Was it really that easy?
Subaru could only look confused at the light of his life, she merely adjusting her hair while looking with a smug indifference into the woods.
“I don't understand what you think I am capable of doing right now, I can't beat them like this. We need more information.”
“Hmpf! Barusu seems to have forgotten himself after being smothered by Ram for so long.”
With a slow turn, she planted herself in front of Subaru, her crimson eyes becoming something almost hypnotic, making him unable to stop looking into them. With her hands on her hips, her entire serious look disappeared into an expression of annoyance, then into a calm sigh.
“This should be nothing for you, you idiot. Has Ram to remind you how you took care of her those first few weeks without giving into your deeper perversions? You had been scared of death and gave it your all to avoid it, even if that isn’t saying much. You made an empire out of the petty desire of keeping the beautiful maiden that is Ram just to yourself. Yes, you are pathetic enough to die a few times while doing so, but the Purge King Ram knows had never sought his own death when things got slightly difficult."
Subaru blinked a few times, trying to process what the Oni in front of him was saying. Was she trying to encourage him? What had he done to deserve her trying to do something like this?
“You say that like you know me so well… but didn’t I lose at the end? Wasn’t I pathetic enough to be scared of the world so much that I could barely trust anything that wasn’t you? How is a person like that meant to protect the people you care about?”
“Because you trust Ram, and Ram trusts that even if the Purge King was an incredibly indecisive pervert, Natsuki Subaru is capable of going beyond his capabilities until the bitter end for the things he cares about most. So now stop perturbing Ram’s figure with your lecherous gaze and start doing everything you can to live without ever using that disgusting thing. If you do not believe in yourself to do it, then believe in Ram.”
His “lecherous gaze” could not leave her figure, her body seemed to be glowing even more with her beautiful pale colors, the world around her also gaining color for a long instant that warmed his heart.
He would never understand the existence that is this woman.
The words died in his throat.
He had already decided to trust Ram with all his heart, mind and body but he just could not find the words for it. She just had that effect on him sometimes ever since they came back to this point in time.
“It looks like you still need more motivation. Ram understands that not having her trapped in a dark room to pour all your perversion over her fragile body would be demoralizing for Barusu, so you will have to do with something else.”
“You could at least stop saying those kind of thin–”
Before he could finish his complaint and thank her for her words, his eyes opened as wide as they could in surprise as something warm and sweet clashed with his lips for a short moment. It was a sensation like no other he had ever experienced that made his face feel like it was in flames. Without being able to process what exactly happened, the contact disappeared as fast as it came, immediately making him miss it, dragging all the air in his lungs with it.
His chest was on fire, his face was not doing any better.
He could only look as Ram started walking away from right in front of him while covering her mouth with her scarf, a soft blush adorning her cheeks. When did she even get so close in the first place?
“This is the most you are going to get from Ram for now. Treasure it, Barusu, you won't get any more if you die today.”
She disappeared into the woods with those parting words, not letting the tone of superiority leave her voice, leaving the Purge King to internally crumble in confusion about what had just happened.
…
“Did she just kiss me?”