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“Fire Lord! Fire Lord, I beg of you!”
Zuko froze in his tracks. This was a word he hated. Beg. He hated it even more when he heard it directed at him, from the lips of his subjects. For that matter he hated the word subjects as well. He would never feel ready to be Fire Lord but there was no choice. Before he could spiral in his usual self-doubts and insecurities, Zuko took a deep breath to steady himself and turned around to face Zetchen, his chief aid.
“Fire Lord Zuko,” Zetchen spoke after a few tense minutes of silence, knowing his ruler and tense silent expressions all too well. “I know your highness is quite occupied with affairs of state, reparations and supporting the Avatar in rebuilding our world, which are all tremendous and important undertakings but I must implore you once again to give some of your precious time to the matter of securing an heir. The future of the Fire Nation rests upon you and the sooner this is on track, the better.”
Zuko’s entire resolve, patience, his very being shattered at the words. He tried his best not to leave it out his face but going by Zetchen’s sudden silence some of it must have spilled. He took a second to try and recover what remained of the balance of his chi before answering back.
“Very well,” Zuko’s voice had never sounded more resigned. “Please arrange a meeting with the advisers a week from now. I will have answers for them then.”
The Fire Lord rabbitted out of there, trying a failing to run away from his problems yet again.
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Later on, in the privacy of his chambers, away from the gossiping eyes of his staff, Zuko had a proper chance to break down. He was now properly utterly screwed. Maybe this was his lot in life, to never really be who he was, who he wanted to be. To never really get what he wanted. And what he wanted was to be able to give Sokka a proper hug, at least once. To feel Sokka’s hands on his skin as he buried his nose in that brown hair, released from that spirits awful wolftail and cascading over tan shoulders. (Who was he kidding, Zuko loved that wolftail, especially on Sokka). Maybe even a kiss. Just one and he might be happy for the rest of his life. One can be enough, and then he could close himself off and dedicate himself to his duties and people and never want for anything else ever again.
Zuko crawled to the balcony, sobbing, his entire body shaking. It was a clear night, Yue high in the skies above Caldera, a silent witness to his pain.
“I know you of all beings in the universe understand,” he spoke directly to the moon spirit. “You loved him, just as much as I do. I mean, how could someone not love Sokka. He is amazing. So brilliant, and kind, and smart, and loyal. So caring. And man, those arms and that tan skin… And his smile. I guess his smile and witty words I would miss the most.”
“Why would you miss them, I am not going anywhere?” A confused voice interrupted Zuko’s rant.
He turned around in shock, not expecting his friend, the man he was so utterly and hopelessly in love with to be standing on the balcony behind him, waiting. Fuck. Zuko’s room was always open to his friends, but this one time he would have preferred his privacy respected. He guessed the universe would never really give him a break.
“Zu,” Sokka approached cautiously, as if approaching a wounded animal. “What’s going on? I am not going anywhere, I am never going to leave or abandon you. I will always be by your side.”
Sokka slowly enveloped Zuko in his arms and the Fire Lord just let himself sag and find momentary solace in between these strong hands.
“You don’t understand, Sokka,” Zuko’s voice was barely a whisper. “The advisors, they want me to produce an heir, for the future and glory of the Fire Nation. To make sure that everything is alright, and safe, and sure… And they want it now, and I… I… I…” Zuko was rambling incoherently by that point. “I just…I… I am… urghhhh…”
“Well, I am sure we can find you a lovely Fire lady and you can get down to business immediately.” Sokka started reassuring him, stroking gentle circles down his back. “Maybe you and Mai can reconcile and start things back again. You used to be a fierce duo, hehehe.”
“You don’t get it, Sokka!” Zuko wailed. He was exhausted, all his defences crumbling. Might as well be honest and get it over with. “It’s you. You are my person. My only one. I am in love with you. No one else would ever do for me. And being gay is technically illegal in the Fire Nation. And even if it somehow by some miracle wasn’t, then there is the issue of an heir. I can’t… I just can’t. All I can think of is that I want to kiss you and hold you and have you forever. And I just can’t. I can’t even have that. I thought that if I could just have the one kiss, I could be happy and maybe just then close myself off and just dedicate myself to my people and the world, and somehow, somehow just forget…”
Zuko was a sobbing mess. His knees buckled. The only thing holding him upright was Sokka’s strong grip. Slowly, gently, Sokka lowered them to sit on the ground. And then drew Zuko into his lap, holding him close, as close as he possibly could. Zuko could feel Sokka’s heart thundering in his chest like a war drum. And then a soft hand cupped his wet cheek and he found himself forced to look in those impossibly blue eyes. Before he could even ask or try to decipher the strange look he saw there, soft lips enveloped his in a soothing kiss.
“Idiot…” Sokka said lovingly after what felt like forever. “Had it never occurred to you that maybe you are the love of my life too. That you are it for me as well. That I would have gone to the ends of this world and next for you. I would have fought the spirits for you Zu. A couple of fire sages and officials are nothing but an ostrich-horse ride through an empty city.”
Zuko was flabbergasted, not able to look away, leaning into the touch when Sokka tenderly caressed his cheek before tucking his loose hair away.
“Plus my dummy of a firelily, you are the law around these parts, remember. You make the rules. Not your advisers. You can make being gay legal like right now. And there are many, many ways to have an heir.” Sokka raised an eyebrow. “You need to assert your dominance, your hotness.”
A wet laugh of relief bubbled out of Zuko. Of course. Why did it never occur to him that the awful current status quo can easily be changed? And he was the power that could make that change. As always, Sokka had all the answers. But for now, Zuko just leaned in and grabbed his kiss.
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