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The day had started well.
The warm morning in the state of New Mexico after the harsh and cold night was always appreciated.
The sun slowly rises, coloring the sky in soft shades from purples, passing through pinks and reds to oranges, delicately illuminating the desert plains filled with rocks and cacti.
And with the sunrise, wildlife changes, nocturnal insects such as tarantulas and scorpions hide away for the day while diurnal animals come out of their hiding places.
It was also the time when Wile E. Coyote woke up to carry out his daily tasks.
Wake up, eat, feed a few chickens that a neighbor from the nearby town had asked him to take care of as a favor, patrol the vast desert plains. And sometimes, like today, he had planned to ride his horse to the nearby town to visit his distant cousin Ralph and restock. The usual.
Only, curiously, he didn’t think he was currently in any part of his usual routine.
Because it didn’t take a genius (although Wile E. definitely was one) to know that staring at the rocky ceiling of a cave while tied up wasn’t something he had planned for today.
Well, fuck, what the hell had happened in the last few hours for him to end up like this?
Beep beep!
Oh, right. Him.
When Wile E. turned his head towards whoever had made that characteristic sound, he knew he was fucked.
Big, black, painted eyes stared at him attentively, as if they could see straight through his soul. Dark skin decorated with thin blue and yellow brushstrokes in curious feather-like patterns. Long, bluish-black hair gently gathered into braids forming a pattern that ended in a loose ponytail.
Sharp features, a defined jaw and high cheekbones, plump lips that could be so kissable… oh shit, focus Wile E. Goddammit.
A blue feather with purple touches attached to the side of the soft headband the man wore was enough to make the obvious clear.
A member of the Road Runner indigenous community.
They were known for having a close relationship with said animals, each one having an intimate relationship with a Road Runner of their choosing. Or so it was said.
Because, aside from being a community known for their uniqueness and great speed, they were famous for being hunters. Extremely dangerous hunters.
They were fast, a trait they shared with Road Runners, and silent. Rarely did anyone notice they were being hunted before the indigenous people themselves made their presence known.
Clearly, by the time that happened, it was already too late to escape.
And although Wile E. Coyote was a wonderful genius ahead of his time (a self-imposed but well-deserved title), his intelligence was only matched by his bad luck and absentmindedness.
So maybe, just maybe, while he was on his way to the town near his home, about 25 km away, a fast little animal passed near his horse.
The horse startled, surprised by the unexpected visitor, and nearly made Wile E. fall off. The cowboy was forced to slow down, afraid of falling or of the animal getting stepped on by his horse.
What animal could move at such speed so silently?
Beep-beep!
And by the time he realized it, he was being dragged across the sandy ground by a young man with long bluish-black hair. He looked to be in good shape beneath the few clothes made of animal hides he wore.
It also wasn’t very difficult to drag the cowboy’s body, which, although tall, was underweight and not particularly muscular.
Clearly, fate needed to top off the ridiculous situation by making a rock fall from (literally) nowhere right onto Wile’s forehead, leaving him seeing stars for quite a while.
Goodbye to his dignity and to ACME. Yes, his horse is named ACME. Any resemblance to an alternate reality is purely coincidental.
Also, hello magazine-worthy ass. Don’t judge Wile, he has eyes too, okay?
And now here he was.
Accepting his fate, his battered body tied up while the young man was possibly planning how to eat him.
Would he cook him? Roast him? Give his remains to the curious blue and purple-feathered Road Runner that followed him?
Wow, the two were certainly alike.
The silence between the two of them (three if you counted the animal) dragged on as they stared directly at each other. The cowboy couldn’t deny that he felt rather intimidated by that gaze.
He also couldn’t deny that he felt a strange and sudden urge to take a bite out of the stranger.
“Uh… are you going to eat me already or not yet..?” The cowboy’s voice, hoarse from lack of use, echoed through the cave.
Shit, now he realized he was missing his hat. It was his favorite hat.
The young man slightly tilted his head without stopping his smile.
Of course, the guy probably didn’t even understand his language. Great, the whole situation was only getting better. Someone give Wile a gold star, please.
When the stranger quickly moved to grab something from behind him, the last thing the cowboy expected was for the indigenous man to practically force him to eat it.
He pushed the dead animal hard against Wile’s mouth, making an eating gesture with his other hand.
“Uh-oh! Wait, wait!” Wile shouted in panic, squirming against himself and his restraints. “I know I’m skinny, but I’m not gonna gain weight by eating a mouse!”
After the brief, but intense, struggle between the two, the dark-skinned man stopped trying, looking at the cowboy with a confused expression. Although it disappeared a moment later.
The next moment, Wile E. Coyote witnessed a scene that, honestly, any sane human being would find unpleasant.
The young man bit down hard on the rat’s bulging abdomen, tearing off the flesh in one bite with a wet splash. The red blood that was already starting to coagulate spurted out between them and onto the ground, filling the lower part of the man’s beautiful face as he chewed the meat.
How badly mentally would Wile E. be classified if he said, in complete confidence, that even like that he looked attractive?
And that was when the other kissed the cowboy, a soft touch of lips that quickly escalated into a deeper one until Wile could feel the shredded meat in his mouth.
Oh shit, he was eating the damn rat.
Well, he’s not going to complain either, even if he really wants to vomit right now.
The other looked even better smiling softly, even if his face was stained with blood. And the delicate brush of another’s hands in Wile’s hair only made everything better.
BLEEEH
Well, not everything could go so well for Wile in so little time. The rat didn’t taste good at all.
Maybe he could still enjoy some time with the stranger.
Maybe the day won’t end so badly for Wile.
Beep-beep!