Work Text:
[Day 1]
Dear Mother,
Dear Rhinedottir,
Gold,
Dear Mother,
You have promised me that any missives I send you would go unanswered, so I am not writing this letter with the expectation of receiving a response. Rather, I have become used to relying on your assistance in documenting the findings of my work, and hope that in pretending to write to you, I will be able to glean some of that same assistance, if only through the process of familiar routine.
I am doing well.
This abyssal place is strange, and I worry that I will be unable to complete the objective you have assigned me. Being here makes me feel strange: whenever I think about traveling out of the safe haven I have found myself (a small burrow beneath a felled tree where most creatures cannot sight me), my breathing shortens and my muscles begin to shake. I would hate to be left here indefinitely due to my failure simply on account of an abyssal illness.
Discerning the nature of the wolven creatures that infest these lands remains my top priority. Existing apart from your side feels strange. If you were planning on responding to these letters, I would not admit these things, but I suppose that if I fail, then I will never see you again regardless.
I hope I don’t disappoint you.
Love,
Albedo
[Day 3]
Dear Mother,
I have made some progress in finding a den of wolves, and have begun to make observations. The wolves are abnormal in their biology—that is, they seem to lack any clear biological origins, almost as if they are automatons, but for their lack of gears or pistons and their disordered behavior. Despite this, I have observed enough to discover that a lack of clear coding dictating their actions does not preclude habitual behaviors like that of any wolf pack.
They seem to follow the orders of a leader, a larger wolf that snaps and snarls at the others to get its way. It has several smaller followers, though they are all still larger than me. I have recorded their behaviors for further analysis in my field notebook, but I cannot shake a more personal, arguably flawed judgment that has been percolating in my mind…
The larger wolf cares for the smaller ones. It brings them food and guides them to shelter, and I have on multiple occasions witnessed it displaying teaching behaviors for pack hunting patterns (which I hope to never witness in a non-practice scenario). However, it still snarls and bullies the smaller wolves until it gets its way. Noting down these dynamics reminded me of the peculiar sensations I have been experiencing.
Unfortunately, I am still feeling the effects of the abyssal illness. The last time I watched the wolves, I was forced to take a break, as I felt a heavy weight on my chest and became worried. I hope to find a resolution to the issue soon.
Love,
Albedo
[Day 4]
Dear Mother,
I have made a strange discovery, though it is only tangentially related to the wolves. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I have been discovered. A grown man came to the wolf pack I have been observing, and soundly dispatched them all with his blade. When I exited my burrow to chastise him for his actions, he asked me why I was studying the beasts.
I informed him, of course, that it was for your assignment, mother. This put a peculiar expression on his face that I found too unfamiliar to interpret, and he took me to his home. I considered escaping, but his grip on my wrist was very tight. As you can tell by my continued letter-writing, however, he did not mean me harm. Instead, he forced me to sit at his table and fed me soup.
It was… pretty good soup. He asks a lot of questions, though I suppose that I can’t criticize that without being a hypocrite, and introduced himself as Dainsleif. What a strange adult.
Love,
Albedo
[Day 6]
Rhinedottir,
I have a confession.
The entire time I have been writing to you, I had secretly retained hope that you may reply. I have now lost this hope, and will continue on as if I am simply keeping a personal diary. Dainsleif says that this is a good emotional outlet for a child, and gave me this journal for it even though I already have a field journal for my notes. There is a star on the cover, with a smiling face on it. It seems childish. Stars do not smile. Dainsleif, however, occasionally does—especially when I told him that.
I consulted Dainsleif on my findings regarding my illness. I have felt less of it since he recovered me, and suspected that it was a quality of remaining unprotected in the outdoors of the abyssal plane. Dainsleif seemed very alarmed at first, but upon further elaboration calmed down greatly. He seems to be under the impression that the strange and sickening sensations I experienced were loneliness and anxiety, and tells me that children are not meant to wander about alone. I informed him that I am not a child, and he retorted that just because I was not truly human did not mean that I was not a child, which effectively silenced me. I had not realized that he had caught on to my inhuman qualities, and did not expect him to simply not… care.
Perhaps it is to do with the amount of food I have consumed under his care. He is always trying to feed me more soup, even though I have told him it is not necessary.
Based on his reactions to my inquiries and his original slaying of the wolves, I suspect he may know about their origins. I plan to inquire tomorrow.
Albedo.
[Day 7]
Dainsleif has explained to me that the wolves are Gold’s creations. I suppose that makes sense, given their demeanors, both among themselves and towards others. This discovery means that I can go home now. It’s strange—the thought makes my heart beat quickly, which I suppose means that I am anxious. I don’t want to be abandoned by Gold, but leaving Dainsleif makes the tachycardia worse, and once I felt a prickling in my eyes. When I told him about this, he wrapped his arms around me and told me that I am welcome to stay in his abode, which made the sensations better. Gold has never done that.
I think that I wish that Gold was more like Dainsleif.
Finding out about the wolves like this feels like cheating. I hope that mother still accepts my findings. I will have to inform Dainsleif of my parting in a way that does not cause him undue distress.
Albedo.
[Undated.]
Dear Dainsleif,
Thank you for the soup.
Sincerely,
Albedo