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“Please Mars, I need you. I need you.” Earth repeats, complete and utter desolation pouring from his hoarse voice. His whole body shook violently from where he was kneeling down in front of the red planet, head hung low. His whole body looked tense, as if it had collapsed under some overwhelming weight.
Mars wasn’t quite sure what was more heartbreaking; the fact that Earth couldn’t even bare to look up at him- the fact he had chosen to try and hide, save what was left of his dignity instead of trusting him, or the absolute, utter dismay that likely resided on Earths face.
The planet looked absolutely wrecked. That was a fact.
Mars had never seen Earth like this; he knows similar things have happened before, but he was never there to see those moments; he had abandoned Earth during the moon revolution, left him all alone. And when Earth was desperately begging Mars to speak to jupiter, back when he was panicking over Theia, Mars had turned his back on Earth again. So he wasn’t ever there. He wasn’t sure if this was normal. He didn’t know if this was worse than normal, or if it was just the tip of the ice burg.
And he felt so, so fucking guilty about it. What kind of a best friend was he?
The blue planet just sat there sobbing. Had Mars ever seen Earth cry? He wasn’t really sure, but if he had, it was nothing like this.
And what was worse was how absolutely beautiful the planet looked in that moment; Earth was always so distractingly beautiful, so much so that his beauty always managed to captivate Mars, distract him, no matter how hard he tried. Sometimes so much so that Mars wished he could be closer, just to admire his best friend’s surface.
The red planet swallows dryly. This was the worst time for admiration. He needed to do something. His best friend is in front of him, breaking down. He needed to do something, like, yesterday!
The red planet slowly lowers himself down to Earths level, taking Earths hands into his own and Caressing the back of his harshly shaking hands with his own thumbs.
Earth looks up a little, enough for Mars to observe his tired, red face, stained with tears. He looked so vulnerable, his expression drawn tight with barely contained pain.
“Hey, it’s ok buddy.. I’m here,” Mars whispers, “Look at me..”
Mars moves a hand up to Earths cheek, softly caressing the wet, yet warm skin. Earth was always so warm to the touch- it made Mars wonder if he ever felt cold to Earth.. Made him wonder if Earth minded.
The blue marble hesitantly looks up towards Mars.
His eyes were carrying an exhaustion far, far deeper than a lack of sleep. It was a quiet heaviness that was obvious over all of his features.
“You’re ok, I’m here Earth.. It’s just us.” Mars proffers softly.
“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry Mars, I’m sorry I’m doing this to you.” Earth cries. He felt weak. Small. Embarrassed…
But Mars didn’t see that. He wasn’t judging Earth. Instead, he simply smiles, continuing to caress the planets cheek.
“It’s ok Earth. You can always come to me if something’s wrong.”
“You don’t deserve this…” The planet mumbles. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for burdening Mars with his problems.
But Mars simply shakes his head.
“Neither do you. You don’t deserve this… So.. So let me help you Earth. Let me in.” He reassures.
It’s brief, but there’s a glisten of something in Earths eyes. Too quick to pinpoint, but slow enough to notice. If Mars knew any better, he’d say it looked like hope.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he whimpers, shuffling ever so slightly closer towards Mars, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” he repeats.
Mars shakes his head.
“Nothings wrong with you Earth.” he tries, but Earth stiffens, as if hesitant about something. Mars couldn’t help but bite his lip. Had he said the wrong thing?
“No. No, there’s this.. This buzzing- at the back of my head-?” Earth starts, “Like- like, between my ears.. Behind my eyes. An-d I don’t know what it is. but it just.. it almost burns. It just.. It reminds me.”
“Reminds you of what..?” Mars almost whispers.
“Of everything! Everything I’ve done! How many people have been hurt because I said something stupid, or because I lost my cool!” Earth spoke, his voice thick with something new now.
Anger?
Self-hatred?
Mars wasn’t too sure.
Earth had continued to rant, but it all began to fly way over Mars head. Earth had become so overcome with guilt, so worried about what others thought of him and how his actions affected others that he’d forgotten to look after himself.
“Mars? Mars. Are you listening?” Earth asks, almost heartbroken. Stars, Earth must think he doesn’t care now!
“Im sorry Earth, it’s just.. You can’t be further from the truth.” Mars smiles, resulting in an innocent look of confusion to cross Earths face.
“You’ve done some things, sure, but nothing has ever been solely on you.”
“Sure it has-! The moon revolution-“
“The moon revolution,” Mars interrupts, “wasn’t just a result of what you said to Titan. Sure, it gave the moons a little push, but tensions had always been high. Every planet had a part in that.”
Earth seems to blink long and slow, considering what Mars just said. The tears still stream down his face, but his shaking has lessened.
“But they targeted me.”
“Because they felt you were the best planet to make a mark against. They knew just how much all of us admire you Earth, despite how arrogant you could be. And they knew just how much everyone in the solar system seems to praise your life. It would have been silly to go for anyone else.”
Earth sniffles, wiping his tears with his sleeve.
“What about Theia? I left my orbit, I endangered my earthlings and scared everyone. And then things got worse and worse!”
“That wouldn’t have ever happened if I had stopped being petty and unreasonable and helped you! And you would have never had to go that far if Jupiter hadn’t left.”
The blue planet sighs. Mars could tell Earth still felt it was his fault, but his body had begun to relax. It seemed that at least a little weight had been taken off of his shoulders.
And so the red planet swivels around to sit next to Earth, wrapping him into a side hug. Earth remains still, but a sense of comfort had washed over him.
“I think you’re just saying all of this to make me feel better.” Earth jokes, though his laughter immediately falls flat. Mars chuckles lightly anyways.
“You mean a lot to me Earth. I wouldn’t lie to you like that.” He says rubbing Earths back lightly, in a calm, soothing motion. Earth slumps into the touch. “Now.. This buzzing you mentioned. is it something frequent that appears every now or then? is it rare? What are we working with dude?”
Earths head drops forward again, his eyes a little duller.
“It’s.. It’s always there. Ever since you all came back from the rogue planets. Its there. Half the time I can just ignore it.. And the other times it’s mostly manageable, just a bit of a mood killer. Then sometimes it’s just.. It feels like it takes over my entire body.”
Mars nods along to what Earth was saying. Stars, he really wished he had adopted some therapy tips from Mercury at some point. This wasn’t easy whatsoever.
“But you were fine before?” Mars checks. Earth nods lightly, his eyes focused on his hands.
The red planet hums to himself.
“A lot has happened. It’s a lot for anyone to process, but you’ve experienced so much more than a lot of us, Earth. Maybe your brain hasn’t ever had the chance to slow down. To stop and process. Maybe this is you coming to terms with everything that’s happened to you.” Mars wonders. Truthfully, he had no clue what he was saying or doing, maybe it wasn’t that at all.
Yet, Earth nods.
“Maybe.. It’s just.. I wish it’d stop. I wish it’d go away.”
“It will, with time.” Mars speaks in a hushed tone, “But until then, I’ll be right by your side, every step of the way.”
Earth looks up, towards Mars. Theres this glisten in his eyes. It warms mars Chest.
“We’ll figure it out, together.”
“Yeah..” Earth sniffs, “Together.”