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Dark doesn't like to sleep, at all.
It is such a waste of time! He could be doing a thousand– a million things! Instead, he has to close his eyes without doing anything for hours.
And most of the time, he's not even able to sleep, he just lies there!
Tonight is the most of the time option.
The dreadfully boring one.
This whole sleeping thing is weird. No matter how many times he tries, there's always this feeling of weird that doesn't pass.
He could get up, could go outside, his body is begging him to. All of the million thoughts are loud. But... he and Chosen agreed to this, and they always agree on everything. Chosen doesn't like to wake up with Dark gone. Even when Chosen says it's fine, Dark knows, like a special perception only he has, that Chosen needs him there.
So he stays.
Next to him, Chosen breathes. Dark likes the sound of Chosen breathing. It's one of the few quiet sounds he doesn't want to replace with a louder one. It means Chosen is here, and alive, and–
He still hasn't completed the job, Chosen is right there, he could choke him to death–
He smacks his head and shoves the thought away. With horrid thoughts like these it's like they leave a residue! Something cold on his fingers that makes them twitch.
They are so fucking unbearable! As if this night wasn't long enough already, now he also has to worry about... this.
He rolls onto his side to look at Chosen properly.
He looks undeniably precious. Sometimes he can't believe there's a whole thing in him that wants him gone.
Chosen makes a sound.
It's not the breathing sound. It's not any of the good sounds. It's small and... wrong. A continuous mumble that sounds pained and puts Dark on alert in an instant.
"no..."
It's such a tiny sound but it makes Dark's whole body go still.
"no... stop."
Oh.
Oh... he hates this.
Dark sits up. He needs to do something immediately. Get rid of the problem.
Get rid of him.
No, no! That's not what he wants!
Wake him up. That's the thing he should do.
Reach out. Hold him down and destroy him, he's so vulnerable right now–
"SHUT UP!"
Chosen flinches in his sleep and the sound gets worse.
Great! Fantastic! He's making it worse and he hasn't even done anything yet!
He grabs his own wrist, he doesn't trust his body to do anything without his control.
"I am going to touch Chosen's shoulder," he tells himself, "I am going to touch his shoulder and nothing else will happen."
He reaches out and grabs Chosen's shoulder.
See? Everything is fine. He's doing it, he's being so careful.
"Cho! Wake up! HEY!"
He's shaking him. He's gripping, maybe too hard and shaking fast and he can feel Chosen's body rattling under his palms and why isn't this helping? This isn't–
Chosen's eyes snap open.
They light up with laser and for a second Dark can only think, 'this is it I'm going to get lasered' Before Chosen's hands come up and push him. Dark is not on the bed anymore, he is across the room, back against the wall.
The air leaves his body in one stupid sound.
...
Wow.
His chest hurts. That's fine! He's been hit by worse. He's been hit by so much worse that this barely even–
Kill him. He attacked you. Fight back. He hurt you. He deserves to die. Make him pay.
He grabs his own hair very tight and pulls like he can drag the thoughts out through his scalp.
"He's asleep, you piece of shit," he hisses at... himself? Is he calling himself a piece of shit? No, the code is not him! At the thing inside himself. "He didn't do anything. Shut up shut up shut up."
He gets up. His body is against that for half a second before he sees Chosen curled on the bed and his priorities are right once again.
"Cho." He says it quiet. Quiet is so hard. Quiet feels like holding his whole body underwater. "Cho, it's me."
Chosen's eyes are open but they're not seeing right. They're still full of whatever the nightmare put in them.
His chest is going too fast.
"You're in our bedroom. In our home. Nobody else is here. Nobody else is allowed here. I'd destroy them."
That last part is maybe not that reassuring. But it's true, and Chosen likes true things, so it is.
He lowers himself onto the edge of the bed. Doesn't reach yet. Puts himself in range and waits.
There's a flinch. Dark stops.
"Okay," he says. "Okay. Look, I'm being so slow for you now. It's boring how slow I'm being. It's–"
Chosen's eyes track toward the sound of his voice. Dark can see the recognition finally happening, and Chosen's whole face crumples. He makes a sound that has no words in it, just need and the fear still in him.
He throws himself forward across the space between them. Dark catches him.
Chosen collides into his chest.
"I got you," Dark says. Chosen presses closer, he shakes against him. His breaths are so many but so small.
He's shaking. Weak. Could end it right now.
Dark presses his lips together and squeezes Chosen closer, very carefully.
"Breathe," he says, hopefully the noise is doing something good. "You gotta breathe, Cho. Big ones. Do it like me." He makes his own breathing loud and exaggerated, a big theatrical inhale, chest rising under Chosen's cheek so Chosen can feel it as well as hear it. "In. See? I'm so good at it. Now you."
Chosen tries. It's all shaky and it breaks halfway.
Chosen's hand fists tighter in his shirt. And if Chosen needs to ruin the shirt to feel better, he can ruin the shirt. Dark will start taking shirts specifically for ruining.
They breathe together. Dark counts them, not out loud, just for himself.
Slowly, slowly his breathing calms down.
He can feel the exact moment Chosen's body decides it's safe, because the shaking shifts from the sharp kind to something slower.
"There he is," Dark says, and he can hear his own smile. "There's my Chosen."
"...pushed you," Chosen mumbles into his shirt. His voice is small and horrified. "Into the wall."
"Yeah, that part was very cool and very scary," Dark agrees. "I thought I was gonna get lasered."
Chosen makes a sound like the words physically hurt him. Wrong thing to say. Wrong thing–
"Hey. Hey, no." He catches Chosen's face in both hands before it can finish crumpling again. "You didn't laser me. Look at me! Zero lasered. Completely un-lasered. You could throw me through every wall in this place and I'd get up. I'm not even boasting, it's a literal truth."
Chosen stares at him. His eyes are wet and searching, looking for the lie. Then, a tiny chuckle comes out and the shaking eases a little more. He looks so adorable. Literally adorable, he could spend the whole night adoring him.
He could also smash his head through the wall–
"Bed!" Dark declares, because he's decided this moment of the night is over. He tips them both onto the mattress and he arranges Chosen against his chest. Chosen lets himself be arranged.
He pulls the blanket over them both.
He puts his forehead against Chosen's. Forehead against forehead.
"You should sleep," Chosen says. "You never sleep..."
"Sleeping is boring."
"Mm. Try anyway." A pause. Then, quieter: "I like waking up with you there."
Oh.
That's not fair. Chosen can't just say things like that, all soft, like it's a small thing.
He knew that already, why is he getting sentimental.
This is the kind of sentence Dark is going to keep forever.
He tightens his arm around Chosen, just slightly.
Chosen makes a small content sound.
"Don't let go.." he mumbles. Half asleep already. The nightmare wrung him out.
Sleep is a waste of time. He could be doing a thousand, a million things.
He looks at Chosen's sleeping face. On that face, there is a little smile.
He doesn't mind doing this one.