Archive of Our Own

It was one of the most beautiful days this month. At least that's what San was thinking, walking through the city and observing lively streets, drenched in warm yellow sunlight. It was hot but the breeze hitting his body was making up for it. Truly perfect weather for a long walk and enjoying life. He got other things to do, though. That's why he was now heading towards the flower shop. The one he has always used to visit.

He was a simple guy. Once he found a decent place to buy something, eat late dinner or drink coffee with friends, he settled on that option for the rest of his life until it eventually got closed or the owners changed and it wasn't the same anymore. He liked the routine. He liked that everything was always the way he expected it to be. He had enough surprises for now and just wanted some peace in life.

That sounded like an old man, but he was really just 27 years old. He got a whole life yet to live but some events in the past made him crave the peace and calm. He avoided loud places and parties. He preferred to stay away from everything that could end up in unexpected and unwanted situation.

He went into the shop, ready to greet the lady by the counter, but as soon as he walked up to the familiar desk, he saw a stranger. He didn't know who was the man behind the counter, but the clothes and the name tag suggested that he worked here. His long blonde hair caught his attention, as well as tattoo on his arm. It totally didn't match the soft look the man achieved by bleaching the hair. He did fit perfectly in this place, though. But where was the owner? Where was Mrs. Kwan? He used to chat with her a lot when he came here for flowers. And she liked him too. She never once mentioned that the owner would change though. San was confused.

"How can I help you?" The man smiled, and San felt a bit bad for being picky.

"Um, are you... Sorry, I would like to buy a bouquet," he said awkwardly, getting closer to the counter.

"Of course. Do you have anything specific in mind? Or may I help you pick something?"

"Actually... I've always gotten the same one," he stated, scratching nervously his neck. "I don't know much about flowers."

"That's okay. Unfortunately, auntie hasn't told me about any special clients so I don't know what you usually get, but we can work something out."

"Auntie? Are you talking about Mrs. Kwan?" San asked immediately. 

"Yes," the man smiled and his eyes turned to little beans for a moment. "She won't be around for some time because of health issues, but I'm here to take care of her business. I hope it's okay."

"Yeah," San responded awkwardly.

"Any colours? I would ask for specific flowers but I guess you're not very familiar with the names," he laughed softly. "So maybe the shapes? Is it for a girl?"

"Well, I usually went for pink or blue. And white. Mrs. Kwan used to pick the white ones with big petals and then some smaller pink ones on the sides... Or something like that. She also often went for a white flowers with purple in the middle or purple in general. Sometimes it were also the ones that are a bunch of small flowers in one..." he tried to explain poorly how the flowers looked but he was just a man. He knew nothing about this topic.

"Oh, you must be talking about this one, right?" The man walked over to the side to point at blue hydrangeas.

"Yeah, I think so."

"The big white ones were probably lilies," he continued and looked around to find the mentioned flower. "I'm not sure about the rest, but auntie surely picked everything according to their meaning. So can you tell me more about that person? What is she like or what's her favorite colour, season. Anything."

San felt a bit awkward when he realized he hasn't answered the question that the man had asked and now he thought the bouquet was for a girl. Well, in a way, it was for a woman. But not exactly how the man assumed it...

"They're for my mother's grave."

The man was silent for a while, clearly shocked by this statement. He felt a bit embarrassed that he didn't realize it yet from the flowers San had mentioned. But now he knew what were the other ones he was talking about.

"Oh, I understand," he said with a light smile, not as wide as before. "Then you must have been talking about these."

San followed him when he walked away and started looking for flowers at the back of the shop. San really tried to remember any names that Mrs. Kwan used to tell him when he visited the shop but he just couldn't. Lilies were kind of basic so he should at least remember these ones, but he didn't...

He looked at the flowers around him, thinking that a lot of them look almost the same. He was impressed that the man could tell them apart. Or maybe it wasn't that hard, but he couldn't really see the difference sometimes.

"Knowing auntie, she went for these. Were you talking about them when you said she put them with lilies in the middle?" The man turned to San again.

He really couldn't be sure if it were these flowers, but they looked familiar. That's why he nodded hesitantly. At this point he just wanted to get over with this. He didn't have to have the same bouquet, he just wanted to leave as soon as possible.

The man had other plans.

He took the pink flowers he showed San earlier and moved to the counter, where he also took lilies. That seemed to be the end but as he was about to make a bouquet from the collected materials, he looked at San again.

"Can I suggest something?" He asked a bit shy, and San couldn't possibly say no to him, even if he wanted to leave.

The man turned around again and bend down to pick some smaller flowers. They looked like daisies but San was almost sure that they were a bit bigger. Well, he knew how daisies looked like at least. He used to pick them up as a child with his friends from kindergarten. 

"Do you want me to put them in here too? I think they will match the composition. I can make the usual, though. No pressure."

"Sure, they're cute..." he said quietly and observed how the man puts everything together, adding some details and ornaments.

"Here," he handed him the finished bouquet with an uncertain smile as he watched San's reaction. "Do you like it?"

"Yes, it's nice," he nodded and paid for the flowers. He finally could leave the shop. "Thank you Mr..." he squinted his eyes to see the name on the tag.

"You can just call me Wooyoung." 

"Then... Thank you, Wooyoung. Wishing all the best to Mrs. Kwan."

"Thank you, have a nice day!"

San stood over his mother's grave, looking at the fresh bouquet he brought with him today. It was really pretty, he shouldn't be so cold towards Wooyoung. He was just doing his job, after all. And listening to him, talking with so much passion about the bouquet made him smile a bit. It was quite adorable, but impressive at the same time. San always thought that men usually don't know much about flowers, because it's a girl's thing. If he could buy some red roses from time to time or tulips, it was fine. Some guys can't even do that. That's why San often thought about his previous relationship, wondering what did he do wrong.

Just as he was about to leave, he noticed something shining amongst the flowers. How come he hasn't notice this earlier? Did something fall from the sky, dropped by some bird? Or was it something Wooyoung has put as an ornament?

He bend down to take the golden jewelry from the bouquet and looked at it for some time. It didn't look like something that was meant to be put in a bouquet. Especially not for the cementery. He rotated the ring with his fingers, thinking if it could belong to Wooyoung. It looked like a wedding ring, though. Why would the man take it off?

All he could do was go back to the flower shop before it closed and try to ask the new employee if the jewelry belonged to him. Maybe he was looking for it?

In a bit of a hurry, he walked out of the cementery and headed for the bus stop to reach the destination in time. He could do it tomorrow but that meant changing his plans for the day. He wasn't busy, he just liked to know how much free time he would have. And since he didn't have anything to do today anymore, he could as well just get over with it.

It was late when he got to the flower shop, but he hoped that he could still meet the blonde man there. He got worried at first, not seeing him by the counter, but soon after Wooyoung came from the back of the shop and smiled before even looking at the customer.

"Oh, it's you," he said, surprised. "Is something wrong? Didn't you like the bouquet?"

"No, no," he started, now realizing how tired he was from the hurried walk here. "I just found something in my bouquet and figured it might be yours," he explained, pulling the golden ring out of his pocked.

Wooyoung's face seemed to drop a little. But he quickly masked it with a light smile.

"Indeed," he laughed quietly, looking at his hand. San had a feeling the laugh was also forced, but he didn't intend to ask any questions. "I must have left it on the counter. Thank you. That's really nice of you."

San slowly walked closer to the counter and put the jewelry on the desk. He looked up at the man, thinking about asking something, but he didn't want to come as nosy. He should just mind his own business, even though Wooyoung's face was full of clues that something was not right.

"I'll be closing soon, so..." the blonde man started, and San realized he's been staring at him like some weirdo.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." He began to head for the exit.

"I really appreciate you coming back just to give me this," the man said. "You know, a lot of people would probably just take it."

"Why would I take someone's wedding ring?" He asked and the other's face again seemed to tense. He was sure he saw a little blush on his ears.

"It's not... Nevermind. Please come again sometime. Maybe auntie will be in a better shape by then," he smiled again, this time it wasn't forced. 

"Yeah, I hope she will get better soon. Goodnight."

He left the shop but still couldn't stop thinking about this whole situation. It was a bit weird. But was it really worth pondering about it? He didn't know this guy. It was none of his business why were his reactions like that, and why did he took off the ring. Well, he suggested it wasn't a wedding ring, so maybe it was San that was just overthinking everything. Whatever it was that was making Wooyoung act like he was about to cry, he hoped he will get over it. And that the next time he visits the shop, Mrs. Kwan will be there too.

He was back at the flower shop at the end of the next week. It was the first time he felt a bit nervous about what would he see once he gets there. It was something simple he did every week, not thinking much about it. It felt like a relax after a long day to visit the small flower shop and talk a bit with Mrs. Kwan like he used to with his mother. Maybe that's why he felt so comfortable in her presence and why he enjoyed talking with her even if he only came here for flowers.

He missed his mother dearly and he could do everything to get just one more day with her.

After going in, he quickly realized that the person behind the counter isn't Mrs. Kwan. The blonde man noticed someone coming in and looked up, lifting the corners of his mouth slightly. 

"Hello," he said, already looking for the flowers he had prepared for San the last time. "Nice to see you again."

"Hi," he greeted him awkwardly. "I see Mrs. Kwan is still not here."

"Unfortunately. She would probably be working if it wasn't for me. I told her to rest and she trusted me with the shop. I told her that you've come last week and she immediately knew who I was talking about. Kind of a shame that I got to know your name from her."

San felt embarrassed. He really hasn't introduced himself the last time and he even asked for Wooyoung's name. He was ashamed of himself.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know why I didn't..."

"Don't worry," he laughed. "It happens when people are in a hurry."

San's gaze went to the man's hand. He scanned all of his fingers with his eyes but he couldn't spot the ring on any of them. He thought that maybe he wasn't wearing it on his finger and looked at the neck. But there also was no jewelry. 

"So, do you want me to make the same as the last one?" Wooyoung asked after a while and San was already willing to leave with anything.

Why was he so awkward? The guy probably thought he was a weirdo for staring at him so long and so closely.

"Yes, please," he said with a little forced smile, but he really tried to convince Wooyoung somehow that he wasn't a pervert or anything.

He was just overthinking this whole situation. Wooyoung was unlucky enough to be the object of his confusion and he wanted to know what was going on with him, but at the same time he didn't want to be nosy and act like they were close. Because they were literally strangers. If it wasn't for Wooyoung, they wouldn't even probably talk so comfortably with each other.

The blonde man quickly finished making the bouquet, surprisingly without saying a single word, and then handed the flowers to San, who looked at it and noticed that there are no white small daisy-like flowers in there, just like the ones Wooyoung added the last time.

"Oh, right. I forgot," he smiled and took his time again with adding the white flowers to the bouquet. "There you go."

San paid, still not saying a word despite his head being full of questions for the other guy. He tried not to be nosy. He wanted to leave him alone since it's not his business and he was in no position to ask him about anything from his personal life.

He looked inside the bouquet as if he expected to see a ring there again, and that's when Wooyoung laughed quietly.

"No worries, the ring is here," he said, amused, pointing at the jewelry on the side of the counter.

"Why isn't is on your finger?" He dared to ask. Wooyoung's smile dropped.

"I just don't feel like wearing it," he shrugged and forced a slight smile.

"Sorry, maybe I shouldn't ask. It's none of my business," he stated, embarrassed and slowly started to head for the exit.

"No need to apologize. Have a nice day."

"Yeah, you too..." he turned around slowly as if he wanted to catch the man taking off his mask.

Something was clearly wrong, but he couldn't expect Wooyoung to tell him everything when they didn't even quite know each other. San didn't even expect him here today, hoping to see the familiar face he was used to. Well, Wooyoung was also now a familiar face. But he did wish it was Mrs. Kwan here today. Even if seeing Wooyoung did some strange things to him that didn't happen on any other occasion. 

After visiting his mother's grave, he met with his friend for a late dinner, having a little more time than usual. He knew Hongjoong since high school. They were now two completely different people and Kim was mostly working abroad, but from time to time he called San to grab a meal together. Especially when he had only a few days before going back to the US. That's why San never declined an offer and always agreed to a meeting, not sure when will be the next time to talk face to face with his friend.

"So you're not going back?" He asked surprised when he heard the other talking about his plans.

"I will probably go there to take my things from my old house and say goodbye to my friends. But yeah, I plan on staying here for now." Hongjoong said calmly, focused on his plate.

"Why?" San asked, genuinely curious. He always thought that his friend hit the jackpot with a job offer abroad. 

"I met someone," he claimed, only now sparing his friend a glance. "I want to stay here because of them."

"Well, it's about time, isn't it?" He laughed quietly. "We're close to 30 now. We should start think about families at some point."

"Yeah..." he hesitated. "What about you?"

"You know me," he shrugged. "I don't like changes and it's hard for me to meet someone new."

"Well, maybe it doesn't have to be someone new?"

"Are you suggesting that I get back with my ex?" He raised an eyebrow, a bit irritated.

"No," Hongjoong shook his head. "I didnt meant that. I just thought that maybe there is someone..."

"Beside my ex girlfriends, I literally haven't talked to a woman under 50 in the past few years," he joked but it wasn't all that funny. He really wanted to settle down at some point, but it was harder than he thought. "But I'm happy for you. Maybe you'll manage to get married before you hit 30."

Hongjoong smiled, but again, he wanted to say something. He wasn't sure how San will react, so he started carefully.

"I don't know..." he said, avoiding is friend's gaze for a moment. "I fear it won't be quite possible at the moment," he laughed miserably.

San tilted his head in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"You know... This world still doesn't accept some kind of love... Even if it's still love," he smiled awkwardly. "Honestly, I didn't plan on telling you this. Not that I don't trust you, but people get mixed reactions. My parents still don't even know I'm staying in Korea."

"Am I understanding you correctly? You fell in love with a man?" He wasn't weirded out or disgusted. He just wanted to know what his friend meant.

"Yeah." Hongjoong's smile was getting more and more unsure. "I guess you're fine with it?"

"Why wouldn't I be? It's your life, not mine. Besides, I can't even see myself with a woman at the moment either."

"So you're saying you're into men?" He was quite surprised to learn that after all these years. After all, San had had a few girlfriends in the past. Not even once a boyfriend. 

"I never thought about it. I feel like it's easier if you just stop labeling yourself and go with the flow. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm not a fan of meeting new people, so men or women, I don't think you'll see me with anyone anytime soon."

"Fate has some funny plot twists sometimes, you know?" Hongjoong laughed. "I bet something will happen just because you said that."

"Honestly, I would rather not."

He really didn't want any changes and any new people in his life.

But what if it wasn't anyone new?

The weather was awful. He almost ran to the shop, trying not to get too wet from the rain. Of course he forgot to bring an umbrella with him and now the distance between the bus stop and the flower shop seemed longer than usual. But when he finally reached it, he sighed deeply, tangling his hair that were now glued to his forehead.

He looked up at the counter, expecting to see the blonde man again. Indeed, he was there. He smiled at the sight of the man, breathing heavily after running, just for the rain to soak his clothes anyway. He smiled back and walked over to the counter.

"Hello," Wooyoung was first to greet him.

"Hi," he said a little less awkwardly than the last time. "I see Mrs. Kwan is still not feeling well?"

"She's better now. She just can't work too much so she comes in the mornings and leaves before the afternoon rush. I can handle it all myself quite well, so..."

"That's good to hear," he said with a weird joy. "The weather is awful. I wish I went by car today."

"Yeah, it got pretty bad with the rain. Make sure to go home quickly so you won't catch a cold," he commented, pointing at his wet clothes.

"I'll be fine," he snorted.

"So, the usual?" Wooyoung asked.

"Maybe I could go with blue today? I don't know, it kind of fits the weather."

"Sure," he smiled and walked over to the hydrangeas. 

He looked at San to make sure he likes them. He put them on the counter, ready to be a part of the order. Then he disappeared somewhere in the back of the shop and San was waiting for him patiently until he heard a loud bang. He started looking for the man, worried about what could have happened. When he found Wooyoung, he was already standing up, but the stool laying on the floor near him told him everything.

"Are you okay?" He asked, genuinely concerned. 

"Yeah..." Wooyoung responded, but his hand was wrapped around his wrist. "I'll clean this up later, so let's wrap up."

"No, first let me see your wrist," San was weirdly firm and Wooyoung couldn't argue with him when he looked at him like that.

"It's nothing," he said hesitantly when he showed the wrist to the man and when he grabbed it gently, he felt the pain of every little movement.

"Nothing? But you're in pain."

"It'll hurt for a while and then stop. You don't have to worry about it."

"Well, I think it's better if you go to have it checked out," he said with concern, turning Wooyoung's hand slowly to see if it hurts him. "It doesn't seem to be nothing."

"I'll go after I close the shop then."

"What? You want to work in this state?" San got a little angry at his approach. "You should go now, in case it gets worse."

Wooyoung hesitated. It was still a few hours before the shop closes and he couldn't just go to hospital right now. He promised auntie that he will take care of the shop while she's absent.

"What am I gonna say to auntie?" He asked, worried.

"The truth? Accidents like that happens, so it's not really your fault."

"I could have been more careful."

"But you haven't. Now call your auntie and tell her you need to go to the hospital."

"What about your bouquet? Let me just finish it real quick-"

"Leave it. I can come back tomorrow. Now call Mrs. Kwan and let's get moving."

"You're going with me?" Wooyoung asked surprised, but also a little embarrassed. San could see the redness of his ears again.

"Of course, I can't let you go alone like that. Now I really wish I went by car," He sighed deeply and waited by the counter for the other to call his auntie.

He looked around the desk to spot the golden ring still laying there. It's almost as if it hasn't moved an inch for the past week. He took it slowly, making sure Wooyoung isn't looking at him and turned it in his fingers. It really looked like a wedding ring. But Wooyoung said it wasn't it. He didn't know why but his mind went to his conversation with Hongjoong. Maybe this whole wedding ring situation was complicated for Wooyoung to explain, because he too couldn't really talk about marrying anyone?

San shook his head after realizing where his thoughts went. He put the ring back and looked at the blonde man that was now walking towards him.

"We can go now," his voice was somehow more stiff and his eyes looked at the ring San had previously put on the counter. "You don't have to go with me."

"You could get even more hurt going all the way to the hospital by yourself. I just want to help you."

"Why?"

San looked at him confused. What did he mean why? It was obvious, wasn't it? He got hurt so San wanted to help him since he was the only person present in this situation.

"What do you mean?" He asked with noticeable confusion. "You're hurt and I'm here, so I want to help you. Why wouldn't I?"

"Nevermind," Wooyoung shook his head, embarrased. "Let's go. I need to close the shop if we're going out."

San didn't say anything else. He wanted to ask him about this weird reaction and maybe about the ring that was still making him curious about the other's situation. But he decided to not say anything. If Wooyoung wanted to, he would have explained.

The bus at this hour was filled with people going back home from work. There was not a chance for them to sit down so San made sure Wooyoung's hurt wrist was safe. He felt a bit weird being so close to the other man, but he hoped he wouldn't think too much about it. He really just wanted to help him. One hand was enough for Wooyoung to hold onto the rail, but he still wanted to make sure no one bumps into him, especially into his wrist.

As San was thinking about it, they should have put some ice on it and wrap it in some cloth. He didn't know why he hadn't thought about that. Maybe he was too worried that if he suggest it, the other man won't be willing to go to the hospital anymore.

The bus braked hard suddenly, causing lots of the people to lose their balance. San acted on impulse and grabbed the other man's waist to hold him still as best as he could. But the look on Wooyoung's face told him that he didn't really like that. He didn't say anything, though. They spent the rest of the ride in silence, not even looking at each other.

San really hoped that Wooyoung didn't think of him as some pervert.

They got off the bus and walked to the hospital that was near. Wooyoung then turned to San, forcing him to stop.

"I can manage on my own from this place. Thanks."

"Well... I can go with you since I'm already here," he said, looking around.

"But you don't have to."

"I know," he was beginning to get irritated by the other's mood. Why was he so mad? "Do you want me gone or...?"

"I just don't think you should waste your time with me since we're basically strangers," he explained, turning again toward the building and started walking.

"Well, not that you're wrong, but I get the impression that you just don't like me."

"What? No. I just don't want you to treat me like a kid. I'm an adult, I know how to handle things."

"And yet you didn't want to go to the hospital."

He was silent after this comment. But he didn't tell San to go, so he stayed. Not even sure why, but he didn't have anything else to do. If he wasn't going to the cementery, he might as well keep Wooyoung company. He might need his help on his way back home.

That's why he waited.

Even if Wooyoung told him to go.

He didn't even ask if he had anyone that could come get him later. He didn't know anything about him beside the fact that Mrs. Kwan was his aunt. Maybe there was no reason for him to know more.

But why did he felt like staying anyway?

The minutes felt like hours when he didn't have anything interesting to do. He was looking around, feeling a bit weird when he thought that it's been a while since he has been to a hospital. Not that he regretted it. But the last time he remembered seeing those white hallways and pale lights was the day he lost his mother. He smiled bitterly, thinking about it. He didn't manage to go to the cementery today but he still thought about her. She would probably forgive him for choosing Wooyoung over her in this situation. He could go visit her any other day, but Jung needed help today. Despite feeling a little guilty, he knew he did the right thing.

"I told you to go home," he heard Wooyoung's voice again. He got up from the seat and looked at the younger's wrist wrapped in bandage.

"How is it?" He ignored his comment and asked the important question.

"Nothing serious, as I was saying. Just sprained."

"You should be careful anyway. Don't overwork yourself."

"You talk like auntie," he scoffed and headed for the exit. "Why didn't you go home?"

"I figured you may need help on the way back too."

"San, it's not like I have a broken leg. It's just a sprain. And people will see the bandage too, so they will probably be more careful."

"You never know. When the bus braked, it wasn't anyone's fault, but could have ended pretty badly."

Wooyoung looked away at the mention of the accident, remembering clearly the older's hand wrapped around his waist. He shook it off so as not to blush like a teenager again. It meant nothing. It was just an accident.

And just like that they caught the bus and went back to the shop. Wooyoung didn't intend to work anymore that day but he still needed to take his things and clean up a little. San on the other hand headed home after they'd arrived at the bus stop near the flower shop. He didn't know Wooyoung had anything to do and he didn't want to be annoying by suggesting escorting him all the way to the younger's house. He believed that would be too much.

That's why they parted ways that day. San didn't buy flowers for his mother and didn't even go to the cementery. Wooyoung needed to be careful from now on with work and auntie will probably suggest staying longer to help him, but he didn't really mind it now that he was thinking about it. San was a nice person. He wasn't surprised that auntie was very fond of him.

The next day he arrived with his aunt at the shop a bit earlier. They planned to open one hour earlier because of yesterday's sudden closure. There weren't many clients anyway, but Wooyoung felt bad about his carelessness which caused him to go to the hospital. He was trying to get used to the bandage wrapped tightly around his wrist, but it was still better than yesterday. Well, it was just a sprain after all.

"You should thank him for taking care of you yesterday," auntie stated as she was sweeping the floor. "I knew he was a nice guy, but I was surprised that he waited for you in the hospital."

"I know, I told him to just go. He was acting as if I had broken a leg or something."

"It's better this than him not caring at all, I think," she smiled to his nephew. Wooyoung was scared of what she was going to say next. "You know, you're basically the same age. You should think about it."

"Excuse me?" He looked at her, confused. "Think about what?"

"You know, since you've broken up with that boy, you're free to find someone new. It's almost like a sign," she laughed quietly, but Wooyoung only looked at the ring still laying on the counter.

"I'm not looking for anyone," he responded a bit coldly and took the ring to throw into his bag. He didn't want to look at it. "Besides, how do you know he would be into me? Not every handsome man is gay, you know?"

"It wouldn't hurt to try," she shrugged and soon after went to greet the first client.

Wooyoung stood there beside the counter, lost in thought. He took a red rose in his hand, admiring its beauty for a while. If only love was as simple as that. Some flowers had their special meaning. You could express something without even using words. Sometimes no words were even needed. Just like in San's case. He might have not had the chance to talk to his mother but the flowers were expressing more than enough. Wooyoung hoped that he could understand love the way he understood the meaning of every other flower in the shop.

"Wooyoungie!" He heard his auntie call and he immediately lifted his head.

"Coming!" He ran off from the counter to help her.

It was ridiculous to even think about San that way. It's been only a few weeks since he has broken up with his boyfriend and now he would already move on just because he met a handsome stranger in the shop. It wasn't a romance movie. It was the real life where love was more complicated and not always had the happy ending everyone expected. He didn't need another heartbreak. The last few weeks has been calm enough for him to understand that he doesn't need anyone to be happy.

Especially when he had to go through it all over again after losing the person he loved for almost 3 years. He didn't really know San. He couldn't be sure that behind the mask of a gentleman there isn't another cheater. 

Little did he know, San went through that even more times. 

He knew he could expect him today too, since he didn't have the chance to get what he wanted yesterday. But even if auntie stayed with him a little longer, San didn't come until he was all alone. The thoughts about his auntie's words weren't the worst that could haunt him during the man's visit though.

"Hello," he greeted him as usual. "I suppose the same as yesterday?"

"Yes, I think so," San smiled and looked at the other's hand. "How's your wrist?"

"Slightly better."

"That's good," he nodded awkwardly and started to look around. He couldn't ignore the fact that he didn't saw the ring on the counter. But still, he didn't comment on that. Wooyoung wasn't his close friend so he couldn't just ask him about anything.

"I probably should thank you for yesterday," Wooyoung started as he was about to start making the bouquet. "You didn't have to go with me. And you stayed, too. There was no need for you to go out of your way for me, but thank you anyway. I appreciate that."

"No problem. Every other person would do the same in my place."

Wooyoung felt a bit bitter at those words. He didn't know why he thought that he was somehow special. San would help anyone that needed help. That's just probably how he was. There wasn't anything between them that caused him to act that way.

They looked at the entrance as someone went in. For San it was just another customer, but Wooyoung froze as he saw the man walking in his direction.

"What do you want?" He asked coldly, hoping San would just get the flowers and leave. He didn't need to see this. "I'm working."

"I know. I came for flowers. Can't I?" The man said, walking over to the counter.

"Then say what you want and get lost," Wooyoung's voice was firm and cold. San could tell that he didn't like the man. "You can leave," he turned to San with a softer tone.

"Wait, let's just talk like normal people for a minute, hm?" The man ignored the fact that San didnt leave. He barely moved from the spot he was standing in.

"We don't have anything to talk about," Wooyoung turned around from the man, looking for something to get busy with.

"I'm sorry, okay? That was a mistake, I really- Wait, what happened to your hand?"

"None of your business."

San stood beside the exit, not sure if he should interfere. It looked like Wooyoung wanted the man to leave, but the thought of throwing a fit with a stranger and wasting another evening wasn't very appealing. But it was Wooyoung. And San didn't want to just leave him alone with it, even if that's probably what the other wanted him to do.

That's why he waited by the door, ready to intervene in case the man started to act too intrusively.

"Yunho, I don't care if you're sorry. You can't fix this now. Get what you want and get out of here before I lose my patience," he pushed him not too hard but enough for the man to back off slightly.

"I want you then."

"No."

"Wooyoung, please."

"Do I need to spell it out for you?" He started to get angry. His voice started to crack. "It's over. I don't want to see you ever again."

"Woo, please, don't cry," he said as if trying to calm him down, but that only made things worse.

"I'm not!" He shouted, despite tears clearly being visible in his eyes. "Fuck off. I don't wanna hear anymore of your excuses."

As the silence fell, San thought that it was over and the guy would finally leave. He wanted to leave too but the whole situation made him worry about Wooyoung. He probably shouldn't listen to all of this, but he wanted to help somehow. He figured that the man was Wooyoug's ex lover and that explained the whole situation with the ring. He felt sorry for Jung, especially when he knew what it feels like to be betrayed by the one person that you thought was the love of your life.

"We can still try to-" the man tried to convince Wooyoung, but he apparently had enough.

He reached for his bag and took the ring out of it. He threw it in his direction, not caring at where it lands. He could hit him in the eye for all he cared.

"Get out," he said quieter through his clenched jaw. "I won't repeat it again."

San decided it was time to end this whole scene. Maybe the man already understood, but if he still wanted to try to convince Wooyoung to give him another chance, San preferred to help him end this.

"I think you should just do what you're being told to," he stepped closer to the counter and both heads turned to him in surprise.

The man scoffed after a moment of staring at him in confusion. Then he proceeded to walk out, but before, he said to Wooyoung:

"I see, that's how it is..."

Wooyoung didn't feel the need to explain anything even if the man misunderstood the situation. It's even better if he thinks that he had already moved on. Maybe this way he will leave him alone.

After the guy left, San stood for a while in the same spot, looking at Wooyoung. He wasn't sure what to do. He could see his red eyes and wet traces on the cheeks.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

"Yeah," he responded and turned from San to hide his pathetic state. "You were supposed to leave. Why are you wasting your time on me again?"

"Because it happens that you needed help again."

"Who said that?"

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't possibly leave when I heard you talking..." he admitted embarrassed. "Excuse me my directness, but was that your ex boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"So that's why you took off the ring."

"Exactly."

"Did he cheat?"

Wooyoung fell silent, feeling his throat tightening with another flow of remorse. He didn't really want to talk about it, but he also didn't want to be too harsh on San.

"Listen, I'm in no place to talk with you about it, but I know how you feel... And I'm really sorry that happened to you. I just hope you'll eventually feel better."

Wooyoung looked at him a bit intrigued. He didn't know if San just wanted to be nice or he really knew what he was talking about.

"You've got cheated on too?" He asked hesitantly. 

"It's not something I'm usually saying to make people feel better, but... Yeah. A few times actually," he admitted with bitterness in his voice.

"Oh... That must have been tough."

"It's been a few years actually. Things eventually get better, you know? Wounds need time to heal."

He smiled softly at his words and leaned against the counter, feeling the anger finally leave his body. San was really a good guy. He could actually give him a chance, but just thinking about loving again made him afraid. And he knew that losing San would be probably even more heartbreaking. 

"Thank you," he said calmly. "I think I owe you a coffee after helping me two days in a row."

"No need," San laughed and slowly headed for the exit. "I'll be going now. Thank you for the bouquet. I'll see you again sometime."

"Bye."

The sound of the door closing was playing in his ears for a long time after San left. He stood in the empty shop, feeling his heart beating like crazy as he realized that he may not want to go through another pain like this again, but it wasn't up to his mind to decide.

And his heart seemed to already know very well what it wanted.

San ended up coming to the flower shop more often. Wooyoung didn't ask why and San didn't explain it either. They would just see each other late in the afternoon, talk for a while, and then San would leave as if nothing happened. Naturally, Wooyoung wanted to think it's just a coincidence and he's just visiting his mother's grave more often now. But that wasn't exactly the most logical explanation in this situation. His heart would love to assume that San somehow fell for him too, but he was too afraid to try to ask him about it in any way. He just waited and observed him come and go, not even asking about Mrs. Kwan that much anymore. Because Wooyoung has become now a part of his routine. A routine he didn't want to change. 

With every conversation, every smile and every glance, Wooyoung felt himself falling harder and harder until the point he knew there was no going back. The only problem was – he didn't know if San felt the same way. He didn't even know if he liked men. He wanted to tell him. But he didn't know how. His aunt sometimes observed them talk with each other and smiled from the side, not saying anything though. It seemed that she knew everything that was happening in Wooyoung's heart. Maybe she knew it even before Jung realized it himself.

"Do you plan on ever telling him?" She asked one evening after San left the shop and Wooyoung began to clean.

"Telling what?" He asked, acting confused, but the flushed cheeks told her everything.

"Don't act like you don't know what I mean."

"I don't know," he said turning from her to hide his embarrassment. "How would I even tell him? It's not like we've ever met anywhere outside the shop. He just comes here for flowers."

"Sure," she snorted. "Wooyoung, I just think that there is no point in hiding your feelings. You won't gain anything from it."

"But how can I be sure that he likes me?" He sighed hopelessly. "I don't know much about him to be honest. We have a lot in common, but it still doesn't mean anything. I can't just say it casually."

"Then don't do it casually. Do it your way," she suggested and he looked at her interested.

He knew exactly what he needed to do.

And that's why the next time San came to the shop, he felt like throwing up. He was 27, but scared to confess his feelings to a man. It was a bit pathetic, but he also thought that his feelings were pretty understandable. Love was never easy. No matter how many times he got to experience it.

He was preparing the flowers for the bouquet as usual, while the blue envelope waited for him to build up the courage to use it. But as he was about to reach for it, San asked him a question he didn't quite expect himself.

"Would you like to grab a coffee later?" He looked as if this question required him to mentally prepare for it too. That's why Wooyoung smiled softly.

"Sure. I'd love to," he hid the envelope in his bag and turned to San again. "What you mean by later exactly?"

"Well, if you're free, I will just take the flowers to the grave and come back for you right away. Is it okay for you to close a bit earlier today?"

"I think auntie won't have a problem with that," he smiled, pretty sure that the woman would in fact encourage him to go out with San.

"See you later, then?"

"Yeah, see you..." he responded, feeling a bit unreal.

He wanted to believe it was a date. But San didn't say anything and it also didn't look like he wanted it to look that way. But Wooyoung decided to make sure he looks good anyway. If he knew, he would take some spare clothes with him to change, but maybe it was better that he was just in his green hoodie. It would seem a bit weird if he suddenly dressed up just for the coffee.

He waited for him for the next hour, feeling his heart beat faster with excitement with every client walking through the door. He hoped that San wouldn't change his mind. At this point he should have asked him for his number. That would not only help them be in touch even when San wasn't in the shop, but also give him the hint that Wooyoung was interested in him.

It was past 5 p.m. when San has finally appeared in the shop again. He looked like he was running all the way from the bus stop. Because Wooyoung assumed he got here by bus.

He got himself ready in five minutes and soon they were heading out. He felt his whole body tremble as he was closing the door and San directed him to a parking lot. That meant he came by car this time. Wooyoung felt his throat go dry.

It really did felt like a date.

They drove only for a few minutes. San parked closer to the centre, but didn't tell Wooyoung where they were going. It didn't really matter, but he felt nervous because of the silence between them. He was holding on tight onto the blue envelope in his bag, trying to calm himself down. He was afraid that he won't be able to actually give it to him if he doesn't calm down.

The café was very cozy even though a lot of people were already sitting inside. Wooyoung couldn't ignore the fact that there were a lot of flowers everywhere. As if San knew exactly where to take him.

They sat at the table near the window and looked quickly at the menu. Wooyoung wanted to know if there was something more behind this or San really just wanted to take him out for a coffee as a friend. He hoped he won't ruin everything when he hands the other the envelope at the end of their meeting.

"Has the guy came again after that day?" San asked suddenly, and Wooyoung felt the cold shiver at the mention of his ex lover.

"No. Why do you ask?"

"Just wanted to make sure he left you alone."

That sounded weird. He knew what he probably meant, but in Wooyoung's mind it was straight up making sure if he got over his ex so he can move on with someone new. He was, in fact, ready, but he couldn't say it just like that. He needed San to be more specific about what he expects from him.

They talked for a long while and Wooyoung was really happy that he could learn more about San and his life. Listening to him, he realized how pleasing voice the man had. He could listen to it forever. But even with these thoughts he couldn't stop thinking about the blue envelope. He felt his heart skip a beat every time he thought about it. That's why he didn't want this meeting to end. He didn't want to confess his feelings. Given San even realizes what he means. He felt like he was about to ruin everything with just one wrong move.

But it was too late now. He reached in his bag as they were slowly preparing to leave. They stood in front of the café where they were supposed to say goodbye. 

"You sure you don't want me to drive you home?" San asked, a bit disappointed. 

"No, I'm fine, really," Wooyoung replied awkwardly. "Thank you for the coffee. And a nice talk. I probably didn't even know I needed that."

"No problem. We can go out together more often, you know? Don't get me wrong, I like coming to the shop, but it's still your workplace," he laughed nervously. 

"Of course, I'd love to," he smiled, finally reaching for the envelope and taking it out with a shaking hand. "I have something for you."

"What is it?" San took the envelope with a curious face.

"Open it at home," he said a bit serious. "Then, I'll be going now. It was nice to see you."

Before San could ask any more questions, Wooyoung turned around and started walking towards the bus stop. He did it. Now all he could do was wait and see if San figures out what he meant.

San got back in his apartment a bit late, doing some groceries on his way home. He couldn't stop thinking about the envelope and the possible message it would be hiding inside. Whatever it was - he wondered why Wooyoung couldn't just say it to him face to face.

Maybe it was something that was hard to express? Maybe it was something that Wooyoung was afraid to say? But why? What could possibly be so scary to say to him, especially when they got so close recently?

He took a quick shower and got ready for bed and that's when he took the blue envelope with him. He took a deep breath before opening it, not sure what to expect. He hoped that despite Wooyoung's uncertainty and visible stress, it won't be anything bad.

He slowly opened the envelope and carefully looked inside as if something was about to jump out of it. All he could see was a small piece of paper with something written on it, as well as a small flower taped to the corner. A blue flower. It caught his attention that it matched the colour of the envelope. He expected the paper to be a letter but it was more of a short message.

"I'm not good with words, so I'm doing it my own way. I know you don't know much about flowers, but I hope you will somehow figure it out.

 

- Wooyoung"

He stared at the paper, reading the words again and again. He didn't quite understand what Wooyoung meant with this. If he mentioned flowers, it could be about the blue one attached to the paper. San was really completely clueless about the flower's name or meaning. But Wooyoung said that he wants him to figure out the message on his own.

So what should he do?

Having no idea what the flower could possibly be, he first asked his friend. He could just search it online, but he had a feeling that Wooyoung wouldn't like him to do that. At least not right away. If he's really that hopeless in realizing the message, then he will straight up google it...

San

Hey can I ask you something real quick

 

Hongjoong

Yeah what is it

 

San

So I got this flower

And I don't know what it is

And the meaning of it is kinda important too

(Photo sent)

Do you know what is it?

 

Hongjoong 

Please tell me you're joking

 

San

???

 

Hongjoong 

First of all

Who gave this to you?

 

San

It's not important 

 

Hongjoong 

Like hell it is

Tell me

 

San

A friend

 

Hongjoong

A friend?

 

San

He works at Mrs. Kwan's flower shop

Why does it matter?

 

Hongjoong 

Well the fate was in fact planning something I see lol

Okay that's one thing

But second

Are you really that retarded that you don't know how forget-me-not looks like???

 

San

I don't know anything about flowers!

How was I supposed to know??

 

Hongjoong

Nvm

So the flower boy gave this to you?

And what did he say?

 

San

He gave me a message with it saying that he hopes that I can figure this out somehow

 

Hongjoong

So do you want me to help you or...?

 

San

If you know what he meant, yes please

 

Hongjoong

You should know a thing or two about forget-me-nots even if you didn't really know what they look like

But it can also mean true love

So

I guess he kinda confessed to you

 

San

Confessed?

You mean a love confession?

 

Hongjoong

Are you retarded?

 

San

STOP INSULTING ME

I'M TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION I'M IN

 

Hongjoong

I don't know what your relationship looks like but I'm pretty sure he wanted to say that he loves you

And that he really appreciates every moment with you

 

San

Didn't know you knew the language of flowers lol

 

Hongjoong

Didn't know you're retarded

 

San

CAN YOU STOP

Okay

So

What do I do now?

 

Hongjoong

Why are you asking me

I helped you with figuring it out but that's all

You need to think for yourself

The most important thing is answering one question

Do you love him too?

 

San

I don’t know??

I haven’t thought about that

But it's not like I could say no?

 

Hongjoong 

Don't make me repeat that again

 

San

Fine.

I think I love him

What now?

 

Hongjoong

Wdym what now??

Go talk to him?

Ask him if you understood the message right?

I can't believe I'm teaching a 27 year old how relationships work

 

San

It's different okay?

I've never been with a man

 

Hongjoong 

Love is love, San

You don't have to label it

And he couldn't argue with that. He knew that Hongjoong was right, but he still felt weird that for the first time he fell in love while not being fully aware of it. His previous relationships were simple. There wasn’t anything complicated in them.

Maybe this time the mere fact that they both were afraid to trust someone again was enough to bring them closer. They knew the pain of a broken heart and they knew that starting again would be tiring. But they understood each other and that seemed to be enough. 

So San was now sure.

He loved Wooyoung. And he wanted to tell him that the next time they meet.

He felt his heart beating like crazy when he stood under the flower shop door, thinking about what was about to happen. He was calm yesterday. Now he felt like throwing up. Because, what if that wasn't what Wooyoung wanted to say? What if he only sees him as a friend and San will make a fool out of himself?

He left those thoughts behind as he opened the door. He looked up at the counter, but...

The blonde man was not there.

"Hello, San!" Mrs. Kwan greeted him with a big smile. "Are you here for flowers for your mother?"

"No..." he said uncertainly. He didn’t expect Wooyoung to be absent today. He didn't say anything about not working in the shop anymore. "I mean, partly. Sorry, you surprised me a bit. Is Wooyoung here?"

"Unfortunately not. Why? Do you have something to tell him?" She asked with a hint of excitement. She probably knew.

"Yeah..." he admitted. "Did something happen to him?"

"No!" She reassured him, seeing how worried San had became. "He went back to his hometown for a few days to spend time with his parents."

"I thought he lived here."

"Temporarily, yes. But he was planning on going back after helping me out with the shop."

"So he's not coming back?" San got worried again.

"He will be back in a few days, but I'm not sure what did he decide yet. I think he would stay here if he had a good reason for it," she looked at him suggestively and San took the hint immediately.

"Sorry, do you have his number?"

"You don't?" She was genuinely surprised.

"No..."

"You two are really something..." she sighed and took out her phone to give San the number he was asking for.

He quickly typed it out on his screen and thanked the woman before leaving the shop in a hurry. He dialed the number and raised the phone to his head, waiting for the man on the other side to pick up. He only hoped he wouldn't decline seeing an unknown number.

After a few moments which seemed to drag out longer than San would want to, he heard a voice on the other side.

"Hello?" Wooyoung's voice was a bit deeper than usual.

"Wooyoung, it's me, San," he started and stopped for a while. The silence fell. None of them knew what to say next. Only after Jung cleared his throat suggestively, San continued. "I went to the shop today. Mrs. Kwan said that you went to your parents."

"Yeah... Sorry, I didn't tell you, but it was supposed to be only a few days."

"No, don't be sorry. I just wanted to ask..." he stopped, not sure what exactly was he about to ask. Wooyoung was probably aware that San could have realized by now what he meant by the flower. That's why he was so quiet.

"Ask what?" Wooyoung pressed, and San felt his hands sweating.

"Your aunt told me that you planned on moving back to your hometown."

"Yeah..."

"Have you decided yet? Are you really going?" He didn't know how pathetic he sounded, but he didn't really care about that now. He wanted answers.

"Not yet."

Simple answer. That could mean that San had the chance to keep him here. Maybe he could really be the reason for Wooyoung to stay.

"When are you coming back?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"Actually..." he heard hesitation in his voice. He didn't know what was that supposed to mean. "I didn't go."

"What?"

"I didn't go to my parents. I'm still here. Just not at the shop."

"Why?"

"I felt sick."

"Can I come over?"

"Why?"

They fell silent again for a while.

"To give you an answer."

If Wooyoung lowered his hand, San could have probably hear the sound of his fast heartbeat. He didn't think San would be this fast to figure it out, but he guessed it wasn't that hard with the help of the internet. Still, he felt like he wasn't ready.

"I'll send you the address," he said finally and after a while San got the message on his phone.

"Thanks. I'll be on my way then."

"See you."

He didn't know why Wooyoung sounded so down suddenly, but he preferred to blame it on his well-being. Maybe he really didn't feel so good. But San intended to meet him anyway.

Wooyoung's place wasn't so far and it took him about fifteen minutes to get there. Once he stood by the door, ready to knock, he felt his insides twist in anxiety. It's been a while since he felt like this. Since he felt the stress of facing his true feelings toward someone.

It felt like he was waiting long minutes before Wooyoung finally opened the door. They stared at each other in silence, feeling the anxiety grow even more with their eyes saying a lot, but nothing specific. That's why they needed to use words.

"Come in," Wooyoung said finally, and San noticed that his voice really was a bit off. Maybe he was tired. "I didn't expect any guests, so..."

"That's okay. I just wanted to talk."

"About what?" He asked with a glimpse of hope, but also stress. He didn't know what San would say, even though he hoped for the best.

"I think you already know, " he swallowed hard, finding the words he wanted to say.  "I have to admit that I had no idea what the flower was and its meaning... But my friend knew. And honestly there is so much going on in my head right now that I can't even find the right words to say what I want. You kind of surprised me... But also made me realize something."

"San, please, get to the point," Wooyoung said, impatient.

"I just want you to know that if the message you wanted me to receive was about your true feelings, then I feel the same. Although it feels new and unfamiliar to me..."

"Sorry for confusing you. But I could never gather up the courage to say this. I hope it's alright..." he looked up at San like a puppy.

"It's totally alright. It's very much your style," he smiled awkwardly and took a step closer to the man. "Your aunt told me that maybe you would decide to stay here if you had a reason to."

"Maybe..." he whispered, trying to avoid his gaze.

"Can you stay for me?" San asked, straight forward. "Can I be your reason?"

Wooyoung looked up, his eyes as if he was about to cry. But they were happy tears. He couldn't believe that San really felt the same about him. That life could make it up to him for his ex lover.

He closed the distance between them with a one bigger step forward and stopped just before his lips touched the other. He looked at them with anticipation, feeling his breath getting more unsteady.

"Can I?" He asked quietly, still focusing on the older's bottom lip. 

San nodded. He kissed him. At first softly and uncertainly, as if giving the other time to back off. But he didn't and that made Wooyoung deepen the kiss, taking the lead, which San willingly followed. They stayed like that for a while,  Wooyoung letting his hands grab the older's hips and pull him even closer. San didn't oppose, letting him do whatever he wanted. He hadn't felt the touch of anyone's lips in a long time. 

"Have you ever been with a man?" Wooyoung asked after breaking the kiss.

"No," San answered without hesitation. "But it feels right with you."

Wooyoung smiled and kissed him again. Their arms wrapped around each other soon after and they stopped thinking about time. What was important was that San accepted his feelings and they could be together, even if just a few days earlier he doubted it. He also didn't have the reason to go back to his hometown where he would probably find a boring job and never talk to San again after being rejected. That was also why he decided to choose forget-me-not. He hoped that even if their feelings weren't the same, San wouldn't forget him, and the times they've spent together talking and laughing in the small flower shop.

But now there was nothing to miss and nothing to be forgotten. They had their memories, but also were about to make a thousand new ones.

And maybe San could finally admit that some surprises are worth changing the plans for.