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“I have a totally normal, common question for you”
He remembered that moment in the forest clear as day now
“GET AWAY FROM ME!”
The voice in his memories much calmer, friendlier and collected than the one that now spoke to him.
“WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!?”
A knife held by shaky hands pointed in his direction, switching by instinct between him and all the other players gathered around the table, all of who shared his same expression of bewilderment and shock.
All of this… from a simple slip? From a skull designed to take a blow crashing down against hard wood?
“Ratau?” he leaned a bit to the left, not in a loud voice yet not whispering either
“Yes, my lord?” neither of them turned their heads away from the scared, angry lamb that was threatening them with a kitchen utensil
“Did you receive brain damage as a vessel?”
He clasped his tongue against the roof of his mouth, pondering the question
“yes” he took a step back, wisely putting the immortal former god between him and a sharp object “it lasted for about week”
Well, crap.
“WHERE AM I?! WHERE HAVE YOU TAKEN ME?!” their patience was running thin, desperation and fear where already starting to take a hold of their mind, whatever their imagination was coming up with drilling despair into their soul.
“What would you do if I lost my memories”
He didn’t hesitate back then
“I’d tell you that you are nothing but my puppet, a servant whose soul I own and that you should beg for mercy!”
He hesitated now
Now was his chance
If there was ever a moment to act, it was right then and there
This was what he had been waiting for so long, the power to get back all of what he had lost
“You are amongst allies” he smiled, not a creepy, intimidating or threatening smile but a earn gesture of friendship. Something he himself considered as a lost ability that wouldn’t come back “you are safe here; we will not harm you”
His words had an effect, even if small. The knife was lowered yet not completely discarded, their eyes wandered against the room, taking in all the new information. From the old men wearing silly hats to the black cat with 3 red eyes and sharp white fangs that was trying his best to appear as non-intimidating as possible.
“My head” they took a hand to their temple “why am I bleeding?”
“You tripped down and felt, the hit probably made you lose your memory” their eyes widened in horror “its temporary! It… it will not last, I promise”
They still doubted him, he couldn’t blame them. If the wanted their trust, to be able to convince them to let their fears aside, he would need of something greater, a true sign of trust and confidentiality
“please, put the knife down, Lambert”
…
That seemed to do the trick
.
.
.
The trip back home was uneventful.
Lambert keep looking at everything with big eyes filled with suspense and paranoia, but wonder to. They remained close to his side (not close enough for his liking), knife still held firmly between hands.
They looked like a constrained spring, ready to jump away at the smallest indication of danger.
They looked like… like when he had first meet them.
And as much as it pained him, finally being on their room (well, HIS room, but considering how much time they spent there, might as well belong to them) did little to change that.
“This is your community” they jumped at his words, yet quickly regained their composure “this is your home, here we will wait for your memory to return, you are safe here”
They didn’t believe in those words, they couldn’t, even if they tried to.
“Lambert” their ears perked up, they stared at him with the dread found within those used to having many houses, but not a home “I can feel your anxiety, quit it. The bishops won’t be able to hurt you here… I promise”
Slowly, carefully, like a man catching a butterfly between his fingers, he placed an open hand against their shoulders. Moments like these made him miss the time when he could read minds with the same ease as he could read a book.
What thoughts lie hidden beneath those wide, black eyes? What where they assuming when they looked around at the room? At him?
“are you…” one of their brows rose up “are you my boyfriend?”
Huh?
….
HUH!?
A sharp inhale had to suffice to put order within the swirl wind of chaos that was his brain and soul
“What… what made you reach that conclusion?”
They pointed with a finger towards their surroundings
“I mean, the bed is set up for two and has black fur, when we passed by no one seemed to be surprised to see us walking together, you are wearing MY wool, I smell like you and you smell like me and” they looked past his chest and inwards “you know my name, I only would share it with someone I really, REALLY trust”
They were now staring at each other, except this time, he was the one with eyes as big as plates.
“When did we meet? Have I meet your family? Do we-“
He raised a single finger against their soft, plush, meaty lips that now seemed really succulent for some reason
“I’m having a moment of realization right now please give me a minute to process this”
Their silence marked their compliance, he gathered what will he had left to take a few, heavy steps towards the bed before sitting down with legs that moved as if they were made of jello.
…
Dear.fucking.god
HE WAS THEIR BOYFRIEND!
In every sense and definition of the word he was exactly that! How long?! How long had he been that?! When did it started?! Did they knew before the b-!?
Hold up
Did someone with a fucking BRAIN INJURY understood their situation better than him!?
This was a new low, this was a new low and that was a considerable thing if he accounted the fact that he had expected lambert to just kill themselves for him (because OF COURSE that was going to work)
He was about to go down a spiral when his rambling thoughts where interrupted by something soft, fluffy and warm sitting on his lap
And staring straight at him
He didn’t move, dint breathed, he didn’t even blink. If he could think he would already be on the floor hugging himself and crying.
They were analyzing his face, really taking in all of his expressions, details and features.
And in doing so, forcing him to do the same to them.
Had they always been… like this? Had their white wool always been this clean and soft? Their black eyes so big and bright? Their lips so, so-
“why do you have 3 eyes” their left leaned to the side, ears falling down
“so I can see more of you at the same time” they blushed, he blushed, what was he thinking!? How could had he said that without-
“wow” they whispered, now leaning back a bit to see him from different angles.
“w-what-“
“You must have a great personality” they grinned
He wanted to kis- KILL THEM! He wanted to kill them.
Minutes ago, they were aiming a dagger at his direction, and now they were jesting with him? Their willingness to gain trust so quickly was a trait he had certainly not forgotten about. How many deaths, how many visits did it took them to start poking at him on purpose, back when he was eight times their size and a god? Probably less than a reasonable amount.
“hey” he groaned in a low tone, memory loss or not, he was not one to stand back and just take it.
“I’m just joking!” they chuckled with eyes closed “You know I think you are beautiful”
…
They were right, it does feel like having butterflies in your stomach.
Which is to say: feels like you are about to die
Once again, they were looking into each other, faces separated by centimeters. Were they going to do something? And more importantly, did he want them to?
They closed their eyes and moved closer; it was a miracle that he managed to catch on their intentions on time
“w-wait!” he leaned back, fur on his back risen, claws starting to come out of his fingers.
He couldn’t kiss them… I mean, he could but he shouldn’t… he shouldn’t, right? No, no, he definitely shouldn’t
“w-what?” they were as confused as he was, waiting patiently for an explanation that he lacked.
“…I mean, you have amnesia“
That seemed to satisfy their query, for now at least
“oh” they snickered “I didn’t know I was a dating a gentleman”
They climbed down for his lap, making him disappointed in himself for what he felt towards that action.
“So, how long have we been dating for?”
He stared at them, wondering the same.
What was he supposed to do in that moment? If he lied, he would be taking advantage of them in a moment of vulnerability, and if he admitted the truth and said no… then he would have to explain A LOT of things he would rather not have to explain.
There was a simple option, one that he despised but that would work for its intended purpose
“We have been known each other for a long time”
Play along, don’t deny anything, don’t affirm anything, say technical truths and let them believe whatever they wanted to believe.
“yeah, I can see that” they looked at the wool he was wearing “so, have I meet your parent-“
“dead”
“oh” Their face felt down, his uncareful answer had made them relive bitter memories that they would rather forget about. He would not be so reckless again “…siblings?”
Ah right, he had those.
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fu-
“stay here” he stood up and rushed towards the door, opening it only to find an old rabbit waiting patiently.
He placed a hand on her shoulder and gently ushered her inside the room. Putting his hands on her without her say so was outside what he would consider as acceptable, but this abnormal emergency required him to take decisive action. Thankfully, this peculiar event served to make her see that whatever was going on, was clearly beyond the normal scope of what this cult considered to be “common”
“Do you know?” he didn’t need to clarify what
“Ratau informed me of the situation, yes” she sounded tired, well, it was more like she was tired and that was the natural sound of her voice now.
“good” he nodded, before turning back to a very lost lamb “Lambert, this is Finor, she is your adoptive mother”
Both mother and child stared at him in pure, unaltered confusion as he left the room and went towards the temple, where Ratau was officiating the daily sermon, given a rather long-winded explanation about why the lamb would be indisposed and how they had to refrain from interacting with them.
He waited a few minutes until he was finished, before moving from shadow to shadow until he was right in front of him, staring down at his face.
“My siblings” he hissed, anger boiling in his throat.
“I haven’t seen them, my lord” he shook his head “remember that the lamb-“
“I will not kill them” not yet, at least “I will simply give them a warning”
.
.
.
“erm, hello?” this was awkward, adoptive mother? The hell did he meant by that? They were an adult now.
She let out a deep sigh before putting down the basket she had brought with her.
“How did you lose your memories?”
“hmmmm, Nari told me that I slip and hit my head on the floor” they kicked their legs back and forth, looking towards the curtain covered window
“Did you clean the wound?” she neatly folded the clothes that had been left array over chairs and furniture.
“…I think I did?” they raised their head at her, she crouched down to be closer to their level
“well, better safe than sorry” she extended both hands, and despite what years of running and surviving should have taught them, they leaned forwards. Closing their eyes, allowing her to see where they had wounded themselves.
As she worked with clean water and a cloth, their heartbeat calmed down, their eyelids felt heavy… was this how it felt? To be held in the arms of a mother? To be… safe?
“You need to be more careful” she smiled like she hadn’t said the same thing a thousand times before, and they nodded like their life depended on it
“Can I ask you something?” well, more like a dozen different things, but they didn’t wait for an answer they already had “can you tell me how I meet my boyfriend?”
She stopped munching on the salad she had brought with her and stared at them with an inquisitive frown.
“…Narinder?” they nodded. She inhaled sharply and settled the plate down “I brought you dinner, please eat something before resting, I need to have a little talk with your… boyfriend”
She left the room, leaving them as confused as they were when she had entered
…had they accidentally ratted themselves out? Where they in a secret relationship and just blew that out of the water? I mean, he was wearing their wool so it should be obvious tha-
Outside the window they saw him, moving with decided rhythm towards a table where four weird shaped fellas where eating.
…
Well, no one told him them they couldn’t leave the room!
.
.
.
“Does my nose betray me? Or is that our disgusting-“
The food on his mouth started to rot, Leshy spat it out and started to clean at his tongue with a napkin
“You will keep your tongue still if you want to remain as the sole owner of it” he stared at all of his four siblings, moving from one to another.
Heket and Leshy didn’t look away from his gaze and frowned at him, daring him to act. Kallamar looked down at the table with both hands gripping the sides, nerves eating him alive. And Shamura… they stared at him with a confused expression, it seems this wasn’t one of their good days.
“The lamb is indisposed, if you DARE to approach them-“
“You are no one to order us around, brother!” Leshy showed him a full row of sharp teeth, searching for the most minimal excuse to start a brawl.
Narinder was about to give him one when-
“Oh! These are your siblings?”
For the third time that day, Narinder felt like someone who didn’t value their life was playing a mean prank on him
“Hi! Its so nice to meet all of you! I mean, I guess you already met me but I kind of lost most of my memories so-”
“You… lost… memory?” Heket was, by far, the one most taken aback by this sudden shift in personality from them.
“Yeah, something about hitting my head? I mean Nari-” they grabbed his arm, he was still processing the current events to react properly to any of this “told me I would be getting it all back in no time, so I want to use this chance to have a new first impression of my in-laws”
“…in what?”
They all stared at the both of them, several sets of eyes moving from him to them and back to him. Was this a joke? A set up? A trap? How should they react to-
Shamura stood up, making Kallamar jump away with a squeal. Their gaze was now sharp, focused, bright in a way that used to be routine before the tragedy.
“I can’t believe this” tears swelled at the borders of his small, black beady eyes “I had prayed to the ancient ones for this”
He moved like a spirit between them, until he was now in front of both cat and lamb. How tall was he when he wasn’t crouched upon himself
“I always thought that Narinder was going to be single forever”
…
Whatever tension was present at the moment, left the room when they all started to laugh and holler at his face. Kallamar was looking away and pretending he wasn’t giggling like an idiot, Leshy was already on the ground hugging his own stomach, Heket was probably chocking on his own blood from re-opening the wounds (good, she deserved it) and even Lambert was trying (and failing) to suppress their own amusement.
A new low indeed.
“I am Shamura, it’s a pleasure to meet you” they politely bowed their head, Lamb replied in kind “these are my little siblings”
He signaled with an open hand towards them, prompting them to present themselves
“I am Kallamar” he stood up and did a flourish bow “medical doctor, at your service”
“Heket” she managed to pronounce between gulping down copious amounts of food
“I am Leshy” he had never considered possible to see Leshy happy to interact with Lambert, but there was a first time for everything apparently.
“I’m lambert, but you guys already knew that” they didn’t, Narinder made sure to commit to memory the expressions they put when they found out that they had lost everything at the hands of a walking pun. They almost made this day be worth the toil… almost.
“I hum, can I ask something?”
“ah” Shamura clasped his mandibles “you desire to know about our wounds, yes?”
“we had a fight” Leshy stared at Narinder with a cocky, smug smile “you should had seen how the other guy was left”
That little-
“Actually, I was wondering, how can all of you be related?” several head tilted at the same time, slow blinks went trough the former gods like a wave “I mean, was your mother a half-squid half-frog and your father a-“
“They hit their head really hard” Narinder placed an arm around their shoulders. Head lowered and moved to side to side with eyes closed “probably have a brain injury of some sort”
“Well, its not exactly out of the usual for them” it was only due to the current situation that Kallamar had the courage to speak up against the lamb in such a way “we are adopted”
“Oh… right” they chuckled nervously, scratching at their chin with a finger. “That makes sense”
“so” Shamura clapped his hands, loud enough to stop Leshy snickering at the lamb’s folly “how are you finding the cult?”
“It’s lovely! There was this, hum, big statue of a lamb at the entrance?” ah right, he remembers how they had looked at it back when he had brought them back to the cult grounds “what’s the deal with that?”
“This cult worships a lamb as their patron”
They crossed their arms and tsk audible.
"Well, I hope that patron won’t get mad over having such an ugly statue"
Now it was his turn to laugh amongst his siblings, and for the lamb to be confused over what was so humorous about what they had just said.
“I’m sure they don’t mind” he had to wipe a tear from his third eye, man he needed that so badly
“You know, when Narinder was a kid, they used to have a doll of a lamb!” Shamura smiled brightly, sending down shivers down his spine
“I had many toys in my youth” he looked away from Lamberts bright eyes
“And this one was your favorite! You always cried so hard when we had to take it from you to wash it” out of everyone present, Kallamar was the only one not currently trying to keep a straight face, and that only because he was reminiscing of better times, probably coming up with new stories to embarrass him even further
“now listen here yo-“
A hard finger poke against his shoulder, making him turn with a scowl that died on the spot when he saw who was behind him
“I will talk to you for a second” Finor took a few steps back without breaking eye contact nor blinking. He had to follow her, letting his older siblings fill the ears of the lamb with stupid stories about how foolish he was as a child.
“They reached that conclusion on their own” he explained, ignoring the beads of sweat forming above his eyebrows “I decided to let them believe such a thing, lest I have to explain… well, everything”
“I see” She nodded, that answer was acceptable even if ungratifying “and how long do you intend to keep this charade?”
“Until they get their memories back” she frowned and the unspoken implication breathed fresh air into his indignation “it wont last for long, and I have already refused to engage in any… romantic activity involving them, now if you don’t mind, I need to go back and stop a conversation between two fools with brain damage and too much blackmail upon me”
He turned back, consequences be damned, and in the blink of a feline he was already near the group, staring daggers at his lesser siblings
“-and since then, he hates carrots… do you have any other question?”
“yeah, I was wondering, are there any other lambs in the cult?”
…
“I mean, I didn’t saw any on my way here but this place is big and-“
He shook his head
“Oh, well, I sure hope more can find their way here”
Those guilty of genocide were silent, quiet, Heket had stopped munching
“I mean, its one of the only places that accepts lambs so-“
“lamb”
He took a step, they took a step back, eyes frantic, breaths short.
“maybe we can have to enough to start over! Away from the bishops and their dogs and all the death an-“
“lamb”
He placed a hand on their shoulder, eyes locked
“…right, sorry, it’s just… I don’t know, I guess for the first time I have hope”
He had to gulp down a lump on his throat
“I… I’m not sure if more lambs will come”
They looked at him like he was crazy, spattering out madness
“We are a resourceful people, I’m sure Theil find their way here, besides, its not like I’m the last lamb on the world”
There was a question implicit at the end of those words, one he didn’t feel comfortable answering.
“the bishops are horrible, terrible people who deserve all the bad things that have happened, are happening and will happen to them” he put a hand on their waist and coaxed them towards their hut “now come, it has been a long day and we should rest”
They complied, waving away at his siblings, none of whom were able to meet their eyes.
“Can we take a small detour? I would like to see more of the cult grounds first” he complied despite himself, it may have not been the brightest of ideas but he couldn’t bring himself to deny them, not when they were like this.
They walked by the temple; the medical tents and they were now near the cafeteria. He found himself in the middle of an explanation regarding the logistics of keeping his sister hunger sated when-
“Master!” he knew the cult grounds lacked magnitude, but this was getting ridiculous, did everyone they knew decided to pick this day to meet and greet them? “We heard the news, is the usu- the lamb truly amnestic?”
“Indeed. Lamb, these are Aym and Baal” the boys stood straight when he called their names, trying to make up for a good first impression for the second time (even if such a thing was an oxymoron) “my… dis-“
“You have kids!?” they gasped, taking both hands to the sides of their head “I have kids!? are they from a previous relationship?! Adopted?! Did I… gave birth!?”
“You are not our mother!” Aym stomped his foot on the ground, Narinder’s eyes twitched, thankfully for the wellbeing of his sanity, Aym’s mouth was shut by the decisive action of Baal, who quickly placed both hands on top of it, muffling any sound coming from it.
“I, hu, think we should probably let you guys go, well talk later!” Baal dragged his brother away by the scowl, making a gesture towards Narinder that could be interpreted as a “you go master!”, Aym too was making a gesture of encouragement, one much more… vulgar. Narinder raised his hood in a futile attempt to hide his blush, and gave a silent thanks towards whatever was out there, that the lamb were offering their back to his kittens.
“Bye son!” they inhaled, he prepared himself for the incoming ramble that was boiling up inside them “so… first question of 20, which one is Aym and which one is Baal”
“I forgot” he half joked, chuckling for himself at their disbelief “I jest Lambert, Aym is (probably) the one with the scar on his eye (I think)”
“How old are they?”
They followed him with a quick step, not realizing where they being directed to
“Around three hundred years old”
“Hardly harr harr… who is their mother?”
Oh, thank the heavens, the cabin was just behind that hill
“An old, unfortunate lady“
Just a few more steps and-
“My lamb!”
Tyrone or terry or whatever his fucking name was came down from the hill with that stupid bitch ass face of his
“I heard the news!, are you truly-?“
“We don’t have this for this shit!”
He grabbed the dog by the face and threw him aside, watching with glee as he rolled uncontrollably downhill and through the mud
“Nari!”
He turned towards them with his best attempt at a neutral face
“It’s a running joke, don’t worry about it, now comes, its late”
As soon as they were inside the cabin, he jumped for the bed, they joined him shortly afterwards, hugging him and cuddling their head into his neck.
Sleep took them together.
And this time, his dreams were free of lambs, of judgement, of the past.
.
.
.
A loud gasp awakened him from his slumber. He lazily opened one of his eyes to peek at the panicking lamb siting on his bed
“it was just a bad dream” he tried to pull them closer to his chest but they bulged “go back to sleep Lambert, you are s-“
“Narinder!” they took his hands on theirs “I’m so, so sorry!”
“hmmm?”
“I-I didn’t know I could lose my memories like that”
…What?
“Aw crap, I can’t believe I said those things!”
No
“I made your siblings laugh at you”
No no no no no
“and you were forced to pretend to be my-“
“NO!”
Now he was awake, sitting right next to them, eyes wide and filled with tears charged with fear and loss.
“w-what?” a single beam of moonlight illuminated the room, 3 red bright eyes moved wildly on all directions “what do you mean?”
Now was his chance
If there was ever a moment to act, it was right then and there
This was what he had been waiting for so long, the power to get back all of what he had lost
…
He hesitated
And in that hesitation, he broke himself again
“It didn’t bother me at all” had the crown been given the choice, they would have cried in that instant “so don’t worry about it”
“Oh… ok”
They stood up while he stayed still, unmoving, like a statue… like a corpse.
“I… I will go back to my room now, thanks for caring for me while I was… yeah”
…
The room was silent again
His stomach was filled with dead butterflies
He wanted to die
He settled for curling upon himself and crying.