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Yuuji turns his head to the sound of a specific laugh that he has engraved in his mind, unaware of the snapping sound coming from his neck. He rarely gets to hear that laugh so freely. And he knows exactly who is getting the honour of receiving that laugh.
“Could you be any more obvious?” Nobara asks, clearly unimpressed as she observes a sad display of Yuuji.
Yuuji comes back to himself and lowers his gaze to avoid Nobara’s judgement as his face prickles with heat. “Shut up,” he mumbles, with no threat behind his words. The last thing he wants is to start a fight against Nobara while he’s already fighting for his life.
He watches as Nobara looks over to Megumi and Okkotsu having a dandy conversation. Most of the students are hanging out in the communal space. Yuuji had set up camp at the far end of the room to work on an essay before Nobara joined him to study, although she’s mostly been on her phone, showing Yuuji funny TikToks occasionally.
Yuuji had finally written about two sentences when Megumi walked in. Yuuji waved at him to join them but upon seeing Nobara’s lack of seriousness, he frowned and opted to sit on his own, opening the first page of the book he brought with him. Yuuji deflated immediately but figured it was for the best. He needed to lock in before Kusakabe had his head.
He absolutely hadn’t been stealing glances Megumi’s way the entire time. He hadn’t even noticed that Megumi’s hair was slightly damp, probably having showered after training before walking into the room. He totally didn’t end up thinking about how Megumi looks like when he’s training, how focused and sexy he gets until he can nail a certain combination, how his hair flops around in all directions yet it never gets in the way of his vision somehow. When they end up training together, Yuuji reinforces his heart to not beat out of his chest at the sight of the black-haired boy. Sometimes, he likes to think about how he would’ve acted around Megumi had they gone to a normal school. Yuuji thinks that he would’ve been more confident. Perhaps he might’ve even been able to flirt. He would’ve asked Megumi out for dinner and showed up with a bouquet of flowers, ready to impress. But at Jujutsu Tech, the only impressive thing Yuuji’s got going on is his control over the curse inhabiting his body.
Yuuji’s second less impressive curse is the way he can’t stop glancing in Megumi’s direction as he’s fully invested in conversation with Okkotsu, his natural enemy.
Yuuji has always felt very positively towards Okkotsu as a senpai. He was an amazing instructor and took care of everyone around him. He had saved Yuuji more times than he can count. They have had great moments together, they both got along swimmingly. But seeing Megumi get along swimmingly with Okkotsu as well made Yuuji feel a pang of unease, slowly creeping up through his bloodstream.
Megumi, who regularly expresses his dislike towards the upperclassmen, is now smiling wide as Okkotsu chatters about. However, when Yuuji’s around Megumi, Yuuji usually feels like all he does is annoy the boy. Megumi seems to wear a perpetual irritated face when Yuuji is near, hitting him often whenever Yuuji speaks without thinking. Yuuji doesn’t mind, though. He quite likes getting hit by Megumi. Any form of physical touch is welcome by Yuuji’s standards.
Yuuji gets lost in thought long enough for Nobara to notice. She sighs deeply and slumps into her chair as a brilliant idea comes to her mind.
“Can you believe Okkotsu-senpai was Fushiguro’s first crush?” Nobara says casually, knowing full well that she just stopped Yuuji’s entire world from spinning.
“Wait, what?”
Nobara laughs, rejoicing in the power her words hold. “I wonder if they ever kissed.”
Yuuji stops breathing. Or at least he thinks he does, because there are no more thoughts forming in his head and he can’t feel his lungs filling up with air or the blood pumping through his heart anymore so either Sukuna ripped out his heart again or he’s already dead.
“I didn’t know that,” Yuuji says slowly, bringing his head to rest on his palm and his gaze stays firmly on Megumi and Okkotsu.
Nobara relishes at the sight of Yuuji’s pathetic spiral and simply closes the unread textbook in front of her and packs up her things to leave. “I’ve got shopping to do.” She declares as she walks away. Once far enough from Yuuji, she lets out a small mischievous laugh.
The cogs in Yuuji’s brain start spinning faster than they ever have before as he begins processing the information that has just been dropped on his lap like a nuclear bomb. Although Megumi is now a second year like him, he’s been around Jujutsu society since Gojo kidnapped him and therefore has met most of the clan students, meaning that he’s had more time to make long lasting bonds with everyone. But none of that truly matters since prior to Okkotsu also getting kidnapped by Gojo, Okkotsu had been a civilian, just like Yuuji. Which does make him wonder if Gojo has a kidnapping problem, and if he himself had also technically been kidnapped by Gojo, but he decides to slot away that train of thought for later.
Yuuji shakes his head as he pieces together that Okkotsu has only known Megumi for a year more than Yuuji. He wishes that he could’ve known Megumi earlier. Maybe then, he would be Megumi’s crush. Maybe they’d be the ones having a lovely conversation. Yuuji sighs as he wonders what would make Megumi smile. If he knew, he’d make sure that Megumi was smiling all the time. Every smile Yuuji has been privileged to see from Megumi have appeared in sporadic moments with no pattern Yuuji can use to replicate.
He thinks back to a conversation they had their first year during training for the sister school event, a few days after Yuuji’s resurrection.
“We’re the same number of students in the first and second year classes…there really aren’t many jujutsu sorcerers around,” Yuuji had commented, sat on a bench facing the training grounds where they were watching Nobara get spun around by Panda.
Megumi nodded lightly. “There are very few humans that can see curses in the first place, and from that pool, there are even less that have enough cursed energy to become sorcerers.”
Yuuji was so new to the jujutsu world that he clung to Megumi’s every word. Every new piece of information given to him by Megumi was instantly recorded into his brain, allowing him to adapt nicely. It helped (or didn’t) that Yuuji had started to develop an affinity for Megumi. For the way he carried himself in their hellish world and the way that Megumi’s eyelashes sparkled in the sunlight. Yuuji was constantly impressed with the boy’s intelligence and his tactical fighting style. Yuuji knew then that developing a crush while he needed to focus on getting stronger was irresponsible at best. But he couldn’t help it. Especially not when Megumi had admitted that he never regretted saving Yuuji, right before he died. Yuuji never brought up that exchange again, too afraid that Megumi would take his words back and then the miniscule smile that Megumi had blessed him with would be tainted.
Nobara flew out of Panda’s hold and into space. Yuuji winced as Megumi simply got up from his seat, ready to take on Panda himself. “And there are actually four second years,” Megumi added as he walked away, “Okkotsu-senpai, the only one I can say I respect.”
When Megumi had spoken about respect then, had he meant to express the feelings he was harbouring for Okkotsu. Yuuji hadn’t paid mind to the comment at the time, but now his head is throbbing at the memory. Were there any other signs that Yuuji should’ve picked up on? Yuuji was well aware that his chances of reciprocity were slim, but he never thought that the day would come where he’d be forced to face the reality that his hopes were in naught the entire time.
Yuuji groans as he digs his fingers into his hair, short of pulling out a few strands. He folds himself on the table in front of him and lets himself sink into the darkest pits of despair. He slowly starts to play with the idea that Megumi might still have feelings for Okkotsu. Nobara’s words before she left ring like a whisper in his mind. Yuuji knows that he never had any claim over Megumi and who he decides to be with, but he can’t help the tightness clinging to his chest at the idea of someone knowing Megumi that intimately, a way Yuuji wishes he did.
“What are you doing?”
Yuuji lifts his head with his hands still in his hair to stare up at Megumi, who is looking down on him. Their positions feel fitting for Yuuji’s mood, and Megumi looks so handsome when he looks disappointed (a regular occurrence around Yuuji) so he can’t find it in himself to mind. A few moments of silence pass between them before Yuuji swiftly removes his hands from his head and straightens up.
“I- uh, my essay,” he stumbles through as an answer.
Megumi moves over to hunch near Yuuji’s side, reading over Yuuji’s assignment. “Wasn’t this due two weeks ago?”
“Yeah,” Yuuji says sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “I got assigned a mission, so I didn’t get around to writing it on time.”
“Wasn’t your last mission two weeks ago?” Yuuji is normally delighted to witness Megumi’s intelligence but in this moment, he curses the boy for being so astute.
“Okay so I hadn’t even started writing the essay when I got sent out to fight curses, sue me,” Yuuji declares, making Megumi grin ever so slightly. “I can help you,” Megumi offers and Yuuji completely melts.
The last time Megumi offered to help Yuuji study, it ended in Megumi shouting at Yuuji for getting the wrong answer on an equation that Megumi had explained four times already. Their study session had started peacefully. Yuuji couldn’t have been more delighted to sit across from Megumi for the couple of hours they would study. He couldn’t stop getting lost in Megumi’s green eyes that Yuuji swears shine when they catch the light, even in the fluorescent lights of their school’s library. This did lead to Yuuji being dumber than usual and the eventual loss of Megumi’s patience, threatening to give up on Yuuji.
“Show me some mercy, please Fushiguro,” Yuuji pleaded to a scorned Megumi, who kept his eyebrows furrowed on Yuuji. Yuuji didn’t particularly care for what kinds of emotions Megumi threw his way, he just felt lucky to be treated to time alone with the boy. With Megumi still unrelenting, an idea came to Yuuji’s mind. He quickly dug through his backpack, pushing through his crumbled assignments and collection of pens to finally grab the item that would hopefully put a smile on Megumi’s face.
“Ta-dah!” Yuuji exclaimed, stretching his hand out to offer Megumi a piece of ginger flavoured candy that Yuuji knew for a fact was his favourite. “Perhaps this might persuade you to offer me a morsel of kindness?” Yuuji said dramatically. Megumi’s face softened for a split second before returning to his scowl. He slowly took the piece of candy from Yuuji’s hand. “I make no promises,” he answered.
Yuuji’s face broke out into a wide grin, reveling in the fact that he had broken through Megumi even if just for a fraction of a moment. “I would expect none,” Yuuji replied. Megumi pocketed the candy and shook his head lightly. “Itadori, I—”
“If it isn’t my favourite curse and my favourite son!” Gojo exclaimed too loudly for a library, appearing seemingly out of nowhere.
“I’m not your son,” Megumi said at the same time that Yuuji said “Gojo sensei is your dad?”
They both looked back at each other and Yuuji couldn’t help but burst out in laughter at Megumi’s annoyed face towards Gojo who was ruffling his already unruly hair. They hadn’t gotten much more studying done after that as Gojo had appear to whisk them away on another mission
This time, Megumi brings a chair to sit right next to Yuuji instead of across as they usually do. They’re so close that their legs are pressed up against each other and the mere contact makes Yuuji blush. Yuuji sets an elbow on the table and covers his face with his hand while his cheeks learn to chill. When Megumi starts annotating around Yuuji’s work, their arms make contact too and Yuuji can’t help the trickle of nerves that run through his body. He’s used to Megumi’s proximity when they train but as they’re sat and unmoving, Yuuji doesn’t know what to do with himself.
“Are you listening?” Megumi asks, mildly annoyed already, practically his default around Yuuji.
“Huh?” Yuuji replies, focusing back on Megumi.
Megumi deeply sighs and slides the draft over. “Here, I wrote down an outline you can follow for the rest of the essay, it’ll help you get your point across more effectively.”
“Thanks, man,” Yuuji smiles kindly, genuinely grateful. “You’re always saving me, Fushiguro.” He picks up one of the many pens he had laid out on the table and starts writing a few sentences based on Megumi’s notes, completely missing the way the other boy’s ears dust red.
“I haven’t regretted saving you yet.” Megumi says, looking off in the distance, his side profile looking cool enough to be on a photocard, like the ones Todo collects of Takada.
Yuuji’s chest tightens as he remembers the words Megumi shared before he almost died the first time. After Yuuji had come back from the dead, he had started to realize that his affections towards Megumi weren’t entirely platonic, but between saving the world, staying alive, and the never-ending mission assignments, he’d let those feelings ebb into the air, always careful to step back when he felt near a line he wouldn’t cross. Because how could he? Megumi was regarded highly in jujutsu society, he had expectations to fulfill whereas Yuuji’s role was to be a vessel, an object to control. Yuuji was well aware of his standing, well aware of the place he deserved in Megumi’s life and yet, he still foolishly craved for more.
Yuuji shakes his spiral away and keeps working. He doesn’t want to let Megumi’s help go to waste. They fall into a comfortable silence as Megumi picks up the book he had brought with him and continues to read, still pressed against Yuuji since he never bothered to move an inch. Yuuji powers through the closeness, making extensive progress on his essay when suddenly, he feels pressure on his shoulder. He glances to see Megumi’s head laying on his shoulder, holding his book with one hand. Yuuji can feel Megumi breathe, softly and calmly. Yuuji feels like he could stay like this forever, supporting Megumi. He suddenly wants more.
He begins to picture a life that is not his. A life where they are just two normal teenagers attending a boring normal school. A life where he can muster up the courage to confess his feelings, because there are no clans or higher ups that have a say in any of their lives. A life where he can properly take out Megumi on a date, swoon the boy with all his charm and finally learn the secrets to unlocking that marvelous laugh of his. A life where Yuuji can pick up Megumi from a part-time job with a couple of flowers he finds along the way. A life where Megumi pursues a career in veterinary medicine perhaps, while Yuuji becomes a fireman, and together they can save every animal and human on the planet.
But first, he needs to know.
“Do you have a crush on Okkotsu-senpai?”
Megumi straightens up immediately with a gasp that turns into a cough. He slams his book down on the table. “Who said that?” he says breathlessly.
“So, it’s true,” Yuuji concludes, his eyes downcast, staring at Megumi’s neat handwriting all over his essay. Yuuji feels the cracks in his heart forming as his mind and body reconcile with his place in the world, one where he never had a chance to stand by Megumi’s side. His eyes start to sting but he blinks through it. He feels a little pathetic to ever think that he could be that someone in Megumi’s life. Megumi deserves the strongest, someone who is respected in his world, not someone like Yuuji who stumbled upon it by accident. Yuuji lets the dark clouds make camp in his mind, since his brightest star belongs to another sky anyways.
The silence carries for ages until Megumi sighs. “I don’t.”
“You don’t?” Yuuji’s head perks up slowly. He doesn’t want to allow himself to fester hope again.
Megumi buries his face in his collar and even now Yuuji can’t help but find him adorable. “I used to, back when I had just met him,” he explains with a sigh. “But that’s not the case anymore.”
“Oh,” Yuuji says, still feeling like he’s moving through molasses. “What changed?”
“My first year, I guess.” Megumi says after a long pause.
“What happened then?” Yuuji asks innocently, his eyes wide, bathing in the sight of such a vulnerable Megumi.
Megumi shrugs as he sits a little straighter. “Met someone else,” he explains and Yuuji’s heart breaks all over again. If not Okkotsu, then obviously there was someone else, probably a woman, Yuuji deduces. Megumi is a powerful sorcerer with an inherited technique, it was foolish of Yuuji to think that Megumi would throw away centuries of tradition.
“Someone with an unshakable character…someone who eats curses to save others.” Megumi adds as a confession. His face is almost fully red and when he looks at Yuuji tentatively, he only receives back a blank stare. Because Yuuji is still lost in thought over his place in the universe and is wishing that Sukuna would attempt for his life again to end his misery.
When Yuuji finally snaps back to himself, he takes in Megumi and looks at him with confusion. Why in the world would this conversation bring so much embarrassment for Megumi.
“Are you in love with Kugisaki?” Yuuji lands on. That must be why Megumi is acting so weird, because it’s someone they’re both are friends with. Megumi’s jaw falls slack and before he can reply, Yuuji continues. “I get it. She’s kind of a pain sometimes but she’s also really powerful and beautiful. She really saved our ass so many times. And yeah, that’s the only other person you met in your first year.” He can’t believe he didn’t see it sooner. Megumi never hits Nobara the way he hits Yuuji after all. He decides to stand by his friends. He takes a deep breath to settle his turmoil. “I won’t tell her!” he pulls his hand out to mean no harm. “I can be a great wingman, you know!” he offers enthusiastically.
“Are you crying?” Megumi says through his own confusion.
“I’m not,” Yuuji says as he wipes his tears away. “I’m just so overjoyed,” he laughs but depression follows. “You deserve happiness, Fushiguro. You’re great, so great, the greatest,” Yuuji’s words falter. “Anyone would be so lucky to have you.”
Megumi scratches his head and tries to comb down his unruly hair. He looks up at the ceiling and when he seemingly doesn’t find his answers, he sighs deeply and says, “I wasn’t talking about Kugisaki.”
“Huh?”
Yuuji blinks. Then blinks again. By the third blink, Megumi is getting up and making his way out of the common room. Yuuji remains seated as he tries to replay their conversation to make sense of what just happened. He gets to the part about meeting someone in their first year that wasn’t Kugisaki and the only other first year was Megumi himself which would mean that…
Yuuji gets up so abruptly that his chair falls over as he starts to run towards Megumi. When he finally sees the curly hair he’s been looking for, he runs even faster.
“Fushiguro!” Yuuji calls out, giving Megumi a total of two seconds before Yuuji slams into him hard, but he knows Megumi is strong enough to take the hit. Megumi regains his balance easily, hiding his face away in the collar of his uniform, glancing off towards the window to avoid making eye contact with Yuuji.
Yuuji’s energy feels electric as he stands in front of the beautiful sight of a flustered Megumi. He can feel his own face heat up, probably matching his hair but he doesn’t mind. He’s too ecstatic to care about what kind of state he looks like.
“You were talking about me,” Yuuji exhales, breathing in so fully for the first time in his life he thinks.
Megumi brings a hand to scratch his neck. “Don’t make me say it again.”
“Then let me say it,” Yuuji steps closer and softly grabs Megumi’s hand into his own. Megumi looks down at his hand enveloped in Yuuji’s, but he doesn’t pull away. “I like you, Fushiguro. I have, for a while now, I just- I can’t believe that you liked me too.”
Megumi shifts their hands slightly, slotting his fingers into Yuuji’s and Yuuji could jump all the way up to the moon.
“I never said that,” Megumi mumbles, his face crimson red, completely betraying his words.
Yuuji laughs because Megumi is absolutely ridiculous and he likes this boy so much. He can’t believe that he can keep liking him, and that he’s liked back. Megumi takes a step closer to Yuuji, facing him with an intensity that he’s only ever seen in training, which Yuuji thinks might be a problem the next time they train together, but right now, Megumi is looking at him seriously, so openly, like it’s the first time he’s allowed himself to truly look at Yuuji and maybe it is.
Yuuji’s breath is caught in his throat. There are a thousand sparks a minute flying through his head as he notices Megumi stare at his lips and then back at his eyes, a silent request that Yuuji gladly complies.
Yuuji brings up both hands to Megumi’s face and presses their lips together. They both relax into the kiss and start slotting their lips together like dripped honey. Yuuji slips his tongue to try and Megumi leans in even harder, their noses pressed against each other and neither of them mind. When Yuuji bites down on Megumi’s bottom lip, the boy moans quietly and it’s unbearably attractive. Yuuji pulls away to compose himself as they are still in a very public hallway. Megumi tries to chase his lips and pouts at the loss of contact. Yuuji could explode.
He wants to take him far away from this place.
“Just to be like a hundred percent clear though,” Yuuji says, “You do like me, right?”
Megumi laughs, brighter than the sun and as lovely as a bell. Yuuji still needs to figure out how to hear more of that laugh.