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"captain, have you decided our course of action? captain…? HONGJOONG!"
the sudden yell startled the captain from his daze. he didn't even notice he had spaced out until he was (rudely) snapped out of it. he looked blankly at seonghwa. he definitely didn’t have a course of action.
"uh…sorry. what was the question?" hongjoong asked sheepishly.
seonghwa sighed and rolled his eyes, a little annoyed, but he has a soft smile on his face. "i asked you if you decided our best course of action. you know, for the revolution we're trying to lead?"
"revolution…right…" hongjoong takes a deep breath. "um. i think…keep sailing north until we hit Twilight. we find the chromer and leave. once we have it…we run like hell." he looks around at the table of his crew.
his crew.
the people that are basically trusting him with their lives.
yunho, his second mate. who left behind everything he's ever known for a revolution hongjoong promised him and isn't sure he can execute. he brought along mingi, the coxswain, yunho's best friend. now he's risking two lives.
yeosang, his trusty navigator who also brought someone along. wooyoung. the cook and the pain in hongjoong's ass that he never wants to get rid of. they both left their previous group for him, blindly trusting a stranger together because "if we fail, we fail together."
the gunner and strongest man hongjoong has ever met, san. the scariest and sweetest person you'll ever meet in your life. when he first asked to join, hongjoong didn't know how to respond. he was so young and tiny. he's grown and changed so much.
the baby of the group, jongho, their cooper. he may be the youngest, but he's definitely the most mature. he may not show it, but he's insanely caring and always makes sure his hyungs are taking care of themselves, even when they aren't.
and then there's seonghwa. the most beautiful person hongjoong has ever had the privilege of seeing. his right hand, his quartermaster, his anchor. when times get rough, as they so often do, seonghwa is always right there. always. hongjoong still doesn't know why someone so beautiful gives him the time of day, but he's not complaining.
he was so used to being alone. now having a crew of seven other men blindly giving him their trust puts so much pressure on hongjoong he's pretty sure he'll explode.
"captain? are you sure you're okay?" yeosang asks softly. "you spaced out for a minute there."
"i-i'm fine, yeosang. um after we get back to the ship we…we'll…" he has no clue. no plan. no ideas. he's sending them all in blind.
"do you want me to make you something to eat?" wooyoung asks.
"no, i'm not hungry. thank you though, wooyoung." hongjoong takes a drink of the water in front of him and sighs.
"you don't have a plan, do you?" yunho looks at him angrily. "you're fucking kidding me, right?"
"yunho," seonghwa quietly scolded.
"what?! he's the CAPTAIN and he doesn't have a plan? i risked everything to be a part of his revolution that doesn't even seem to fucking exist!" yunho stands up. "i'm not doing this anymore."
"yunho, sit down." mingi grabs his hand and tries to pull him back down. "please."
"no. we've been thinking about this for weeks. there's no reason he shouldn't have something yet."
"I FUCKING KNOW OKAY?! WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT FROM ME YUNHO?!" hongjoong shoots up from his chair and glares at yunho. "i'm doing my best, it's not like there's a handbook on how to lead a revolution!"
"okay, let's all calm down for a second." san, who's been sitting next to hongjoong, stands up and puts his hand on his arm. "sit back down. please, captain?"
"i need a minute." he steps away from the table and walks away, leaving the seven behind staring at him from their spots.
his room is a mess, just like his brain. there's papers scattered everywhere. clothes he's refused to put away. maybe it's true what they say: your room is a reflection of your mind.
his bed isn't the comfiest; he saved those for the others, but he laid down on it anyways. he stares up at the ceiling like the secret to leading a revolution will be written into the popcorn embedded up there.
maybe yunho’s right. there really is no reason he shouldn’t at least have a plan on what to do. they’ve been working towards this for months.
the ceiling does not hold any secrets about leading a revolution, by the way. now hongjoong’s even more pissed.
usually by now seonghwa would be knocking on the door. where is he…?
before hongjoong can keep yearning for the eldest, he hears a loud scream.
wooyoung.
hongjoong races out the door as fast as he can. he can't think of anything other than saving his crew.
“WOOYOUNG?!” he screams, searching the ship for any sign of him. “SEONGHWA?!” he's searching their rooms but they're nowhere to be seen.
“HONGJOONG!” it's yunho. he's out on the hull. hongjoong runs as fast as possible to his crew. as soon as he gets outside, his heart drops.
“well well well. good to see you again, captain.” eden, the captain of a rival ship. he's standing on the hull of his ship, with a knife pressed against wooyoung’s throat. “pleasure to see you.”
“how the fuck did you get on my ship?” hongjoong grabs his knife hiding in his boot. “and how fast can you leave?”
“oh, feeling bold, are we?” eden smirked and pressed the knife closer to wooyoung, causing the boy to wince as it began to dig into his skin. “listen, just hand over map to the chromer and i'll leave you all alone”
“are you fucking dumb?! i’ve told you i don't have it yet!” hongjoong yells. “now let wooyoung go.”
“aww captain kim seems scared!”
before eden can keep bitching, a loud yell is heard throughout the ship. yeosang runs up behind eden and pushes him away from wooyoung.
“YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” yeosang yells as he pushes eden to the ground, away from wooyoung. jongho rushes in to move wooyoung away from eden as yeosang starts punching eden in the face.
“YEOSANG!” wooyoung yells, watching his boyfriend fight the intruder.
eden starts fighting back, flipping yeosang and pinning him to the ground. he kicks yeosangs ankle, causing the man to wince in pain, and holds him down.
“need your boyfriend to save you? that’s pathetic.” eden’s sinister grin stares back at yeosang as he squirms.
“leave him alone!” yeosang tries to escape eden’s hold on his wrists.
“little late for that pretty boy. but look, all you have to do is give me the map and i’ll leave you all alone to kiss each other,” eden said slightly disgusted.
“YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD!” san charged in, pushing eden away from yeosang. san lifted him by his shirt and punched his nose. “you get the fuck off this ship and don’t bother coming back, you fucking hear me?”
eden turned and spat out some blood. san moved him closer to the edge of the ship, holding him over the water. eden’s eyes widen and glance at san, a hint of fear in his eyes.
“fine! fine, just let me go!” san dropped eden back down on the ground of the hull. the man scrambled up to his feet and stared at the crew. “fucking freaks!” he turned to walk away but stopped in front of yeosang, still on the ground. he grinned again and kicked his already sore ankle. yeosang lets out a wounded cry and grabbed his ankle as eden left.
“GET OUT OF HERE!” mingi yelled as the man finally left.
the ship was quiet now as everyone tries to recuperate after the battle. hongjoong ran to hide in his room immediately.
it's all your fault. yeosang is hurt because of you. you could've protected him. and you didn't. you shouldn't be captain. the team would be so much better with yunho or seo-
"captain?" that voice. god, he loves seonghwa's voice. "hongjoong," he said as he walked into his room. "i know you're blaming yourself for this." seonghwa walks over and sits next to him. "can you talk to me?"
he tries, he really tries. but when he opens his mouth, hongjoong feels paralyzed.
"joong…you don't have to keep this all to yourself anymore. we're in this together now." seonghwa's voice is gentle, way more gentle than hongjoong will ever deserve.
"i…i know…" hongjoong whispers hesitantly.
"do you? because it doesn't really seem like it." he's stern. not mean, never mean. "you don't have to fight all of this alone, hongjoong."
"i know. or…at least, i'm trying to know. it's just…i was alone for so long." hongjoong takes a deep breath and sighs.
"well," seonghwa said and moved to face hongjoong. "how about this?" seonghwa grabs his ripped sleeve and rips it even more, tearing off a piece. he wraps the ripped cloth around hongjoong's arm.
"what are you doing?" hongjoong watches him with curious eyes.
"giving my captain a captain band. this shirt's ripped anyway so i don't really care. it can be a way to remind you that i'm always with you." seonghwa finishes wrapping the fabric around hongjoong's arm. "there. what's a captain without an armband?"
"i…i don't even know what they're for." hongjoong said quietly, staring at the cloth. the cloth from seonghwa's shirt. seonghwa's. shirt.
"well you can put your weapon in it. or just let it absorb some sweat. plus…it looks hot."
hongjoong was in a daze staring at the band until the last part.
"it…what." hongjoong looks up at him, shocked.
"oh come on. you know it looks good." seonghwa said with a quiet chuckle.
"it can't look that good." hongjoong said nervously. i can't look that good.
"yes, you do." you. he said you, not it.
hongjoong looks up at him. "thank you, seonghwa. it's not easy for me to… rely on others but i guess i can't really lead a revolution without you guys. i was just so used to being all alone." hongjoong gets quieter. "i didn't have anyone for 2 years. i tried leading this mission… this revolution all by myself. i had no one."
"i know," seonghwa said. he put his hand on hongjoong's shoulder. "but, joong, you're not alone anymore. you have 7 crewmates now. and we'd all follow you to the ends of the earth. i know you think you're not worthy, but we wouldn't stay if you weren't.” he saw the worry still lingering in hongjoong’s eyes and was quick to comfort him. “yeosang and wooyoung are fine. yeosang’s ankle isn’t even broken, just slightly fractured. wooyoung’s going to have some scars but he said, and i quote, ‘at least sangie thinks they’re sexy’ so clearly he’s fine too"
hongjoong sighs in relief and nods, murmuring a quiet "thank god."
"look, i know this revolution shit isn't easy. that's why we're here though. that’s why i’m here. i’m not your right hand just for fun,” seonghwa said softly. “you can come to me, hongjoong. i want to help you.”
“i know. i can’t do this alone anymore.” hongjoong sighs and looks at the ground. “i’m really sorry. for being so…moody lately. i don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“you don’t have to apologize for having feelings, we all have our days. especially when you’re stressed and sleep deprived.”
“i am not sleep deprived?” hongjoong looked at him, almost offended.
“oh come on, joong, i know you better than that. how much sleep have you gotten lately?” he’s right, seonghwa does know him better than that.
“probably like…5 hours…this week.” hongjoong said quietly, hoping seonghwa wouldn't hear him.
“hongjoong!” he heard him. “you need to sleep more than that.”
“i know. i just can’t,” hongjoong said. “everytime i close my eyes i start to think about everything that can go wrong on our mission. i can’t lose any of you.”
“joong, you won’t lose any of us.”
“you can’t promise that.” he starts picking at a loose thread on his blanket, a nervous habit he’s had since he was a kid. “you don't know what could happen.”
“neither do you,” seonghwa said sternly. “neither of us can predict the future, so why should we let it control us?”
“i guess you're right,” hongjoong said with a sigh.
“i usually am,” seonghwa said, jokingly. hongjoong looks up at him, rolling his eyes with a soft smile. seonghwa chuckles quietly and puts his hand on hongjoong’s shoulder. “there's my captain.”
‘my captain.’
what the fuck did he mean by that.
“your…what?” hongjoong said, surprised and quiet.
“my captain,” seonghwa said. he has that pretty smile on his face again. hongjoong loves it when he smiles like that.
they stared at each other for a few moments, only the sounds of waves against the ship being heard. hongjoong noticed seonghwa leaning forward slightly, watching his calculating gaze. he almost didn’t register the press of lips on his cheek, soft and careful in the quiet moment.
hongjoong felt his face flush and eyes widen, watching as seonghwa processed what he had done.
“sorry, my mom did it a lot when i was worried. i thought maybe it’d comfort and relax yo-”
hongjoong leaned in, silencing his ramble with his own lips. seonghwa returned it, and in the back of his mind he realized things may be alright.