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Nagisa coming over to Rei’s university dorm to study has become such a common occurrence. After all, Nagisa is still having his studies kept up with his parents’ expectations as acceptance for being into swimming. Rei, with his theoretical and knowledge-obsessed nature, is a perfect companion for that path!
But rarely, this time, Rei had fallen asleep. It was merely 9pm, they usually stop at around 12am (not a normal thing) but some cause like putting strenuous effort into swimming might have made Rei enter his slumber early, even before Nagisa had.
Nagisa stares at the figure hunched over his desk, glasses crooked and exhaustion clear.
“Aw. That poor Rei-chan,” Nagisa coos, laying a blanket over the chair Rei was sitting on and removing his red glasses.
Although Nagisa didn’t know, this small action had Rei open his eyes. His cautious body awakens him at the slightest movement or sound.
Rei slowly closed his eyes again. He’d decided it was a hassle to move himself to the bed. Nagisa could sleep there, anyway. He deserves that comfortable surface more than him after studying and practicing his strokes for so long.
Just as Rei was going to venture off to dream land once again, Nagisa sighed, then sat down on the bed beside his table, leaning his head on his elbow. Rei could feel the slow breath of his peer–he was quite close. If he opened his eyes, he feared he would have a fright.
“Cute.”
Rei tries his utmost best not to make an expression–a grimace, a smile, or whatnot. He had to stay “asleep”-- otherwise Nagisa’s careful deeds would have been wasted. And maybe most of all, he tried not to let heat rise to his face–his face becoming red would be the death of him.
“Oh, Rei-chan..” he continues. “You really are the best. I know how hard you were swimming earlier–geez, you were on fire! And you still put up with me to help me with my studies…” Nagisa’s tone lowers.
Rei wants to give him the biggest hug he’d ever given.
“I feel so bad. Rei-chan, am I a burden? Should I stop coming over?”
No, Nagisa! You're not a burden at all. In fact, the days you come are the best times I have in my week. The times I look most forward to. Rei wants to say–but he’s put up a sleep-facade.
“Aw, but I love seeing you! I wish I could come here everyday,” Nagisa whines. “I wish I could live with you, Rei-chan! But seems like life’s got other plans,”
Rei feels the same.
“No, no,” Nagisa corrects himself firmly with a deep breath. “I don’t love seeing you. I love you. You and your sheepish smile, you and your dark hair and tall figure and muscular build and– oh gosh, Rei-chan. I really, really love you. I can’t keep it much simpler than that.”
Rei’s attempts at keeping himself from going red start to falter and fail. Am I dreaming? Nagisa wouldn’t say this in real life, haha…
“You see, I’m not sure what it was, but when I saw you for the first time doing your track activities, I was awed. I needed you in the swim club. I needed you in my life. Rei-chan, Rei-chan,” Nagisa sighs.
This point in life had to be the most restraint Rei had ever put up. Out of anything in this world, he wanted to respond to Nagisa with poetic thoughts of his own.
“Is that what they call love at first sight? I think I’d apply it to you,” says Nagisa so unusually casual. “Ah, forget it. I love you so much.”
There goes the ‘L’ word again. Rei probably looks comparable to a red onion–what are these things Nagisa puts in his words to make Rei feel like he’s going to sink into his desk?
Nagisa sighs for the zillionth time. “Well, that’s a good rant I’ve given. Goodnight, Rei-chan. I love you!”
Rei lets out a suspiciously visible exhale–not a peaceful one, but like he’d just taken lethal damage. Luckily, this is after Nagisa turns around to the wall and lays on the bed.
Geez. I might die, Rei thinks. But I love you too.
+++
The next morning, it was obvious what Rei’s first thought was. Nagisa’s stupid confession–and he wasn’t even in Rei’s dorm anymore. He’d left early in the morning, around 7am. Usually, Nagisa would sleep in with Rei and struggle getting to class on time. Not sure what the shift was there.
Nagisa’s words kept replaying in Rei’s head. I love you. I love you so much. Love at first sight.
Somehow, it was only the sentences containing that infectious word. Love.
Should Rei respond? Should Rei tell Nagisa he’d heard everything? I mean, Rei did love him as well. From the first sight, too… but is that something to admit? Even if Nagisa had spilled words that clearly states his (unknowingly) reciprocated feelings?
Rei wasn’t sure if he was supposed to hear Nagisa at all.
Nagisa was joking around, yes? He was being spiteful because he knew Rei was awake.
Disregarding the mess in his head, Rei decides going to Nagisa isn’t the most convenient person to turn to first. (he is, but rei would rather die!)
With a Friday off, Rei sends a close person a text message to meet up at a cafe.
+++
“Rei-kun. Why’d you ask to meet?”
“Ah, well you see, Haruka-senpai… Nagisa’s words might have put me in a predicament.”
Yes, Rei had picked Haruka to bother. If he’s a good senpai in many topics, he’d surely be good in this one, right?
“I see. What is it that he told you?”
Rei takes the longest breath out before trying his best to clear the fog in his mind, reciting the“outrageous” words Nagisa spoke, and the fake-sleeping act Rei had put on.
After that stressful rant, Haruka is slightly grimacing.
Rei laughs awkwardly and sheepishly. “Haruka-senpai, what’s that face for?”
Haruka tilts his head. “Do you love him?”
This singular question made Rei shift to a firm, locked in state, rather than the awkward, loser posture he had.
“I do.”
This makes Haruka’s grimace crease further. “I don’t get it. Tell him you love him too?”
Rei bangs his head straight on the table, face-forward. “And here I thought you’d be helpful.”
“This is being helpful. If he loves you and you love him, what’s better than saying it?” Haruka rationally speaks.
“You’re so rational,” says the troubled man. “No. I can’t say it. What if Nagisa knew I was awake and tried to pull a prank on me?”
Haruka takes the grimace off of his face and resorts to sighing. “You’re such an overthinker,” he says. “Especially when it comes to Nagisa. I guarantee you he was genuine with those words.”
Rei pulls his glasses up, facing the blue-haired menace. “Haruka-senpai, thank you for your advice,” he stands up. “But I’m afraid I won’t be applying it to anything.”
Haruka shrugs. “Well, nice talk, but time wasted.”
Rei swiftly sits back down, remembering the whole reason why he thought Haruka would be a great person to take advice from.
“One more thing,” he starts. “You have something going on with Rin-senpai, yes?”
This caught Haruka off-guard. It’s one thing to hide whatever he had with his lover.. or something, but when someone is able to tell?
“Hm, no. What makes you think that?”
Rei boisterously claps his hands together. “You’re lying, Haruka-senpai! I can absolutely see through that!”
“But I’m serious,” Haruka still tries. “I don’t have anything going on with Rin.”
“No, no, Haruka-senpai. Every time I see you two, I cannot go near or I’d end up interrupting something. I don’t know, when you two are together it seems so… intimate.”
“What do you mean? Elaborate,” Haruka asks, “puzzled”.
“Hm… The way you look at each other,” Rei sternly says.
“What about it?”
“Your eyes light up seeing him swim. You’re so lively swimming with him, in fact, in or out of the pool, and oh, just get a room, gosh!” Rei’s explanation turns into a complaint.
“Are you dissing me for the way I act with Rin?”
Rei’s seriousness quickly snaps. “Ah, no, Haruka-senpai! It’s not like that! Just, I was thinking since you’ve got something with him, you could, you know, help out me and Nagisa.”
Haruka pauses for a while, then silently makes his decision. Makoto knows. It’s okay for Rei to know as well, right?
“Fine. You’re right. I’m dating Rin.”
Rei’s drink sprays out of his mouth. “Huh?”
“Why are you surprised? You basically forced me into saying it,” he states, (actually) confused this time.
“I thought it was some situationship,” Rei explains. “I didn’t know you guys were actually dating?”
Haruka sighs. “Nope. We’ve been dating since that relay we won.”
“How— how did that occur?” Rei is still visibly flabbergasted.
“Huh, now that I think about it… he confessed like Nagisa did to you.”
Rei still doesn’t want that title. Confession. “Ah… how exactly did he confess like Nagisa?”
Haruka starts to become reminiscent. “It was when I was still in the hospital,” he starts, head laying on his elbow while he sips his drink. “On the third day, Rin visited me. In fact, he visited me everyday. That day—he saw me “asleep”. Lights off, my blanket snug, the whole lot indicated that I was asleep—so he poured his heart out. He cried, apologising for letting me end up in the hospital even if it wasn’t his fault. He told me how much he cared, then finally that he loved me—since the day we met. Mind you, I was awake the whole time. He ended up exhausted from that teary rant and he passed out on one of the stools beside the bed.”
“Geez, he’s down bad… anything happen after that?” Rei’s curiosity peaks.
“Yes. The second he fell asleep, I sat up and stared into the wall for a moment before staring at him. It was strange. But it felt necessary to take a good look at him before actually going to sleep. The next morning, I heard him shifting around the room, which told me he was awake. With my eyes still closed, I called his name and told him I had heard everything the night before. It was disastrous at first, his frantic exclamations and denials, but I smiled—he loved me like I loved him. When I sat up, he looked at me the same way we did every time we swam. I told him I felt back everything he told me—there he stopped yelling and plainly walked over to the bed to give me a—” a lovestruck Haruka was cut off.
“Okay, okay, I get it! Yikes, now you’re down bad. Please get a room.” Rei begins to complain once again.
“At least I was able to talk to him.”
“Oh, you—”
“Rei.” Haruka faces him clearly. “My point is, you need to communicate. I talked to Rin, and it ended well—isn’t it also convenient that we had the same situation?”
Rei defeatedly looks down. Although that was clearly the best thing to do, he was a cowardly person. “Sorry, Haruka-senpai, but I find that telling Nagisa I heard him sounds like a peripheral matter.”
Haruka jokingly acts offended. “What, so after I told you my love story and absolutely gave you the greatest advice a senpai could give, you’re going to brush it away?”
Rei stands up, slamming his cup on the table. “No, it wasn’t useless. I understand more now. I can learn from you and your lover.”
“Hm, good enough. But remember, me and Rin aren’t you and Nagisa. We are us, and you guys are you guys. Other things work out for other people, so it’s fine doing things I don’t—the outcome can be the same or different.” Haruka’s loquacious nature today reaches its peak.
Rei chuckles. “Didn’t know you were such a wise senpai.”
+++
The weekend—days of peace from storms called weekdays.
Rei still hasn’t gotten his mind off of Nagisa—at all.
Those words have never stopped playing at all, and that one word…
Rei decides Haruka’s advice won’t be enough. He still won’t be able to face Nagisa after that night of spoken truths.
Rei, Makoto
-
9:42 AM
Rei: Hello, Makoto-senpai. Would it be okay for us to meet at the library near my university?
Makoto: Ah, of course. What time?
Rei: Would 4 be ideal?
Makoto: Yep! See you later!
-
With fate’s unnerving timing, right after Rei had finished texting Makoto, Nagisa had texted him.
Rei, Nagisa
-
9:44 AM
Nagisa: Hi Rei-channn :>
Rei: Hello, Nagisa-kun. Is there anything you need?
Nagisa: Can we meet later or eat somewhere?? I’m quite bored todayy, I’ve got nothing to do ://
Rei: Ah, I’m very sorry, I’m afraid I already have plans for later.
Nagisa: Whaaaa!! It’s okay. Tomorrow?
Rei: Of course. We can meet tomorrow.
Nagisa: Yayyy! ^^
-
That was the first time the two had had any form of communication since that night. Rei thinks he did fine hiding the fact that his responses took a lot of struggles behind the screen.
If Rei put more thought to it, he might have acted on Haruka’s advice and told him he heard everything Nagisa said—but his cowardliness got the best of him.
+++
“Rei-kun. Why have you asked to meet?” Makoto asks with that often worn smile on his face.
“I might have a problem with Nagisa-kun,” Rei looks to the side.
Makoto’s worry is raised. “Oh dear—what problem? Did you guys have a fight?”
“No, he… he confessed.”
Makoto’s eyebrows raise higher than his worries. “Really? As in, he told you he liked you?”
“Loved,” Rei corrects.
“Loved,” Makoto repeats. “And how has this happened?”
Again, Rei prepares for a rant with another large exhale. He retells the story to Makoto, who listened intently. He even told Makoto the advice Haruka had given him.
“I see, he thought you were asleep, and you haven’t responded to anything…”
“Let’s get straight to the point. What on earth am I supposed to do?” Rei places his arms up to his head, gripping his hair.
Rei’s small predicament gets a chuckle out of Makoto. “Act on Haruka-senpai’s advice. Go talk to Nagisa-kun!”
Again, Rei bangs his head on the table—a habit after he’s told to do something he can’t. “I absolutely can’t. Cowardliness wins all.”
Makoto closes his eyes with a sigh. “Well, I saw this coming. Rei, there’s seriously nothing better than just communicating with him—you love each other. I know you will end up as healthy as Haru and Rin.”
Rei shakes his head slowly. “Geez, I thought you’d be different from Haruka-senpai…”
Makoto giggles. “Ah, he did give the same response. Why did you come to him anyway?”
“Well, because he has something with Rin, and senpais are great role models, aren’t they?”
“Oh, yes, that seems reasonable. But our responses don’t seem to your liking. Are we really the people you should primarily be talking to? Or perhaps… you could end this and go straight to Nagisa-kun.”
As much as Rei wanted to, he couldn’t.
But then again, there was Haruka-senpai who was now considered a role model in this topic foreign to Rei.
“Makoto-senpai… you don’t have a love interest as well, do you?”
The older man only deepens his smile, letting out a few dry laughs.
Rei nods his head forward waiting for a response.
“Maybe. Why?”
There’s some common sequence of events every time Rei tries to take advice from someone. Once again, Rei confidently claps his hands together.
“And who might that be?” His glasses shine over his certainty.
“Uh, someone. I have a love interest— not sure if you would call it that, but regardless, I’m not sure if telling you who it is would be convenient,” Makoto explains.
“Haruka-senpai told me. And you? I think it’d be great to have another pair of role models!” Rei advertises, although it sounds more like a plea.
“No, you’ll be fine having other people as role models… I’m not even dating the guy yet.”
Rei points his finger straight to his senpai. “So it’s a guy.”
“We’re not playing the guessing game,” Makoto sighs into the table.
“Right, then tell me who this special person is.”
Haru knows, Nagisa-kun knows… Rei knowing will be fine.
“It’s Sousuke.”
Rei seemed to choke on air, a plethora of airy coughs threatening his body.
“You like—”
Makoto reaches a hand to Rei’s arm. “Be quiet,” he grits through his teeth.
“I’m sorry, that’s the last person I would have thought of.” Rei’s run of coughs fade.
Makoto sits all the way back in his chair—almost like he sunk into it. “Gee, so nobody sees us good together.”
Rei vigorously shakes his head. “No, no, I definitely see it. But I didn’t know you were close like that.”
Makoto puts his hands below his head. “He’s my talking stage.”
Rei opened his mouth to speak, but Makoto beat him to it.
“Just— move it back to you and Nagisa-kun. Are you going to talk to him or run away?”
Rei let out another ‘lethal damage’ exhale. “I’m supposed to be meeting with him tomorrow.”
“Oh, that’s great! Go tell him then,” Makoto encourages.
“No!” Rei grips his hair much more firmly than the last time.
Makoto’s sigh sets the atmosphere in their corner of the library. “I don’t think anything will help. Are we done?”
Rei releases his hands from his hair, standing up from the mahogany bench. “Lord get me out of this…”
+++
Sunday comes, and with it comes Nagisa and a due hangout.
Rei, Nagisa
-
10:33am
Nagisa: hiii what time r we meeting??
is 11:15 okay?? ill come to ur dorm
This was an intimidating message in all the wrong ways. Rei’s cowardliness only began to spread—for the life of him, he couldn’t face Nagisa.
And the night before, he thought there was one more person he could gather advice from.
So with all due “respect”, Rei had unintentionally turned down Nagisa’s excitement. Right thing to do? Clearly not.
Rei: Hello, Nagisa.
I’m afraid we can’t hang out for today anymore, very sorry.
I have plans again. Please forgive me!
Nagisa: Aw ://
It’s okayy
+++
At the time of 6 in the evening, Rei finds himself in front of Haruka’s apartment. Not there for the resident, but rather, the resident’s…
“Ah, Rei-kun, there you are. Haru’s asleep as of now. Come in,” a purple-haired man urges him.
Rei places himself on the couch centered in the living room, mirroring the same couch where Rin sat, a coffee table adorning the middle part.
“So, Rei-kun,” Rin starts. “Haru told me everything. You’re seriously gonna come to us like this instead of going straight to Nagisa-kun?”
Rei slowly shakes his head. “I’m afraid so. Please, I’ve cancelled a hangout with him just for this… and maybe the fact that I’d faint seeing him again.”
“I’m not sure if I can tell you anything except just… going straight to the guy? You love each other?”
For the third time, Rei bangs his head on to the table.
“Oi, geez— you’re gonna wake Haru!” Rin points out.
Rei brings his head straight back up. “Ha, so your first thought is Haru instead of me, who just suffered a mini concussion?”
“Well— yes, I’m afraid. I’m that considerate of him.”
Rei’s head tilts to the side with eyes reading “get a room”.
“Rin-senpai… I need advice other than talking to him. I’ll do it! I’ll worry about that later! I promise!”
Rin only stares at him with one eye threatening to twitch—but he stays collected.
“Okay, but… listen and apply it, maybe?”
Rei only nods for assurance.
“Other than literally just communicating—”
Rei slaps a hand on the table.
“—Show him you, too, care about him. He’s told you as much as his love for you—the bare minimum is care.” Rin ruptures the idiocy with a few wise words of his own.
Rei’s glasses shine—the shine that implies he’s taking something in—information, knowledge, and all of the sort.
“Are you done looking all tense? Did my words hit you hard?”
Rei shoots up, trying to look the least optimistic… so he could leave the household and give up on trying to take things from others—he didn’t understand anything, and he wouldn’t, couldn’t act on anything.
“Thank you so much, Rin-senpai!” And then he’s out the door.
Rin only watched him go. “Wow, I must have done a great job.”
+++
Now, Rei’s back at his dorm, laying in bed trying his hardest to get his needed sleep—curse Nagisa for being on his mind all the time!
And obviously, that attempt fails. So Rei spends his few hours awake and thinking of that light-haired boy.
I should talk to him, yes? But I simply can’t. I don’t get it. We love each other, but I just can’t tell him at all… The mere thought of that “outrageous” deed is deathly frightening. I’ll… I’ll cram it and think about it for another time…! Maybe another time I’ll feel confident enough to talk to him.
+++
Here comes Rei’s river of idiocy.
For the next few days, Rei keeps away from Nagisa—purposely? Partly. But in a way of hurting him? Not at all!
Rei’s cowardliness paired with Nagisa’s silly presence in his mind have become something bizarrely wrong—avoidance.
For the next few days, Rei simply doesn’t keep his mind off Nagisa. And that presence fills in the time they’re actually supposed to be hanging out… physically, and not in each other’s minds.
Their text history says a lot about how much Nagisa has plagued his mind—Rei hasn’t opened his phone since the night he gave in to his cowardliness.
Rei, Nagisa
-
Sunday, 7:21pm
Nagisa: Reiii who r u hanging out with?
Do you hate me :((
I don’t think we’ve gone this long without seeing each other!
It’s okay, Rei-chan. I’m sure you’re having a great time!
Monday, 1:12pm
Nagisa: Rei-chan talk to me :<<
I’m boredddd
Respond if we can hang out later! I’ve got more assignments I need help with.
7:38pm
Nagisa: It’s been like two dayssss
Come on Rei-chan!! Come out of your shell!
Tuesday, 8:54am
Nagisa: Please respond this time
Rei-channnn :((
I miss youuuuuu
Okay i give up
11:46pm
Nagisa: Aw still no?
Rei-chan please :(
Maybe you really hate me ://
Wednesday, 2:22pm
Nagisa: Hey we usually hang out TODAY!!
Don’t tell me you’ll ignore me again….
ARE YOU IGNORING ME??
Rei-chan are you mad
I’m sorry
Oki i have class now
Please respond
Thursday, 1:52am
Nagisa: Rei
Please
Respond
Everybody says you’re just busy
I know you’re not
Rei-chan I’m sorry
Tell me what I did
I can’t sleep
I wanna see uuuu
Please Rei-chan I’m sorry don’t be mad :(
Pls
Okay I’m being serious now please respond
You usually message me daily 24/7
What happened??
Maybe I was a burden
K ill leave u be
Friday, 1:33pm
Nagisa: Rei-channnn
Are you okay :(
RESPONDDD
It’s almost the weekend
I have class now
I better see your response…
5:41pm
Nagisa: Rei-chan…
Talk to me before I have practiceee
Kinjou-chan is gonna scold me for using my phone!
K bye
Saturday, 10:29am
Nagisa: Hey it’s the weekend
Surely you’ll hang out?
Hey
Rei-chan
Pleaseee
I’m sorry
I’ll just ask Haru-chan and the others
Sunday, 2:34am
Nagisa: Curse you, Rei-chan, you’re making me stay up again!!
I can’t sleep
We haven’t talked in a week
A week, Rei-chan.
You really hate me?
I’m sorry Rei-chan
Maybe you’ll never talk to me again
But I’m sorry
I’ll be honest and say I don’t know what I did
But I’m sorry
Wait
I’m sorry for being such a burden
For always bugging you
Even you have your own strenuous studies
But you’re urged to help me…
I wont ask anymore
I can do homework on my own :))
Sorry Rei-chan
Please see this
Please forgive me
Makoto, Rei
Makoto: Hey, Rei-kun!
I hear you’re ignoring Nagisa-kun.
Yes, find yourself a solution but… not ghosting him!
Rei please read his messages
Haruka, Rei
Haruka: Rei
Go talk to Nagisa?
Ignoring him will make it much worse, I’m telling you.
Rin, Rei
Rin: Oi, what are you doing?
This isn’t the solution
You need to talk to him
He was crying, Rei
Come on
Please talk to him
+++
That poor Nagisa. Rei is not talking to him, seriously, but not for the reason Nagisa thinks!
Now, though, is the weekend. Where Rei cools down. Where he realises he’s been chronically offline, where he realises he possesses a phone, where he realises that’s a vital way of communicating, and where he realises he might have ignored… a few people—on complete accident. For a week.
And oh gosh—he’d ghosted Nagisa. The very boy residing in his mind for the whole week—can love really get as bad as that?
Ignoring people, because someone’s been on your mind, so much that you forget there are ways of communicating other than through physical communication. It seems incredibly unrealistic—but I kid you not, that’s love. Well, at least in Rei’s world; in his mind.
He’d ignored Nagisa, and all of his friends—there’s no stopping it now.
Rei hesitantly opens his chats, fearing the plethora of words more than he fears talking to his lover.
Then he sees everything everyone’s said for the past week.
And how he had hurt Nagisa.
And how there wasn’t a way to reverse that.
“Oh my…” Rei’s habit to grip his hair in a horrid situation begins.
Rei reads through every message he’d unintentionally ignored. The apologies meant to be his, the questions he’d definitely disagree to, the nights he’d stayed up because of him… although that happened on both sides.
He reads through all of his other friends’ messages too. They, too, had urged him to respond to Nagisa—Rei made such a grave mistake.
Maybe if Rei had listened and just talked to Nagisa, this wouldn’t have happened.
Then there it is—Rei realises that yes, the phone is another form of communication… so if Rei can’t fight his cowardliness and physically talk to Nagisa, then he can talk to him through the phone. Through a message.
Rei, Nagisa
12:43am
Rei:
Nagisa-kun. I’m so, so sorry that I have ignored every single one of your messages this whole week—I can’t even begin to imagine how hurt you were… how hurt you are. Please, keep talking to me. I cannot bear or fathom the thought of not being in contact anymore—for me, the world would end there. How inconsiderate could I be? To ignore you, for the whole week?
I also have a large confession. I heard that night… when you said you loved me. I was awake. I heard everything. Your words… they’ve gotten to me, they’ve made me a mess… because, Nagisa, I love you too. I love you and your light, voluminous hair. I love you and your cheerful nature, you and your contagious smile, contagious laugh, you and your love for swimming—I love you. And I always have—ever since you’d asked me to join the swimming club.
I can’t say it enough. That I love you. After that night I was so shaken that I went to Haruka-senpai, Makoto-senpai and Rin-senpai for the next few days… they all told me to talk to you first, and I know I should have—now my cowardliness only grew, and you’d been roaming around my mind far too much… so much that I might have forgotten a phone was a way of communication. I thought that your presence in my mind was the presence you usually have with me… it sounds unreasonable, I’m deeply sorry. I love you so much, Nagisa-kun.
Again, I have to deeply apologise for my ignorance. I’ve hurt you, haven’t I? All because I couldn’t talk to you in person, I’ve gone quite insane out of love.
I love you, Nagisa. And we can hang out whenever you’d like.
Seen by Nagisa
+++
Well, communicating isn’t as nerve-wracking as Rei thought it would be… but maybe because that was through the phone.
But Nagisa just saw it, and Rei might as well just faint completely.
Sleep—it would be an ideal solution to this wait for a response. Hence, Rei tosses and turns as frequently as the beats of his heart.
When he hears a knock at the door.
At first, Rei jumped—it’s like a horror movie when someone knocks at your door in the middle of the night. Regardless, though, he had to get up and open the door. Some aching part of him hoped it was—
“Nagisa-kun?”
The last thing Rei hears before getting jumped onto with a hug is a plethora of sobs. Nagisa.
“Hey, hey, come, lay down, don’t— cry…” Rei leads Nagisa onto his bed, the shorter still clinging on and wailing.
“I thought— you hated me, Rei-chan.” Nagisa attempts to let it out clearly, though his hiccups seem to cut in.
Rei’s eyes fall. “Nagisa-kun—”
“No. I’m fine. That’s not why I'm crying,” Nagisa explains.
“Then why—”
Rei’s lips are met with another.
Their lips felt dry and barren.
But once they had separated, they needed that spark again.
Rei hesitantly brings his hand up to cup his lover’s cheek. Again, they close the distance between their faces.
There’s tears running down faces from both sides, now.
In that long kiss is years of yearning, loving, caring.
Nagisa’s the first to pull back. “Hell, Rei, I love you.”
Rei smiles through his tears. “Love you too, Nagisa.”