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Amanda’s life was full of rules. Restrictions, barriers, hurdles she had to jump just to be able to breathe alone. She knew the prison was dangerous, but wasn’t everything? She had been taught that even she was dangerous. The hallucinations and sleeping spells that plagued her had marked her as “of the devil” by the ones who associated with her father. In Amanda’s freshly 16-year-old mind, if she was dangerous, then with the danger she belonged.
Because of this newfound rebellious streak, Amanda was around the other guards and prisoners more. She didn’t associate with the ones that were known to be overly dangerous, but one prisoner caught her eye a while ago.
Luca Balsa. He was scrawny, quick, and bright, and only less than a handful of years older than Amanda. His mannerisms reminded Amanda of the mice she caught in her room and threw out to the alleycats through the courtyard gates. Amanda had eventually approached him, and snuck him a crust of bread after a much larger prisoner had stolen half of Luca’s food after roughing him up. Their dynamic flourished after that. Amanda would get protection from the meaner prisoners, and Luca got intimidation points by being close with a guard’s daughter.
After an argument with her father that ended in Amanda hiding in the depths of the prison, Amanda made her way to Luca’s cell. She stayed quiet, remembering that Luca slept, or at least tried to as best as he could in the chaos of the prison, around this time. Amanda sat down on the grimy floor outside his cell and leaned on the bars as she grabbed her things from the shoddy sewn together bag she wore across her shoulder. A small sketchbook, a canister of film, and a new battery-powered light she got as a gift from Mr. Leroux, the man who supervised her progress in filmmaking.
Amanda was attempting to decipher something with the film before she heard a groggy voice behind the bars supporting her.
“Morning, Amanda.”
“It isn’t morning. The last time I checked the light, it was too dark blue to be morning. And lunch was earlier. Not morning.”
“Good afternoon slash evening, then, Amanda.”
“Much better. Good afternoon slash evening to you too.”
There was a groan and a dull thunk before a mild curse and following hiss. The telltale signs of Luca hitting his head against the empty bunk above him, cursing at the pain, then remembering he probably shouldn’t swear around a (basically) child.
Amanda curled her knees to her chest and didn’t turn around as Luca joined her on the opposite side of the bars, mirroring her as he laid back against them. He yawned, stretching his limbs far above his head and grabbing the bars. “So, how’s your day, Mandy?’
Finally setting down the film she was fiddling with, Amanda sighed. She turned to face Luca, green eyes meeting dark brown ones. “It wasn’t the best… Father scolded me again about my own ‘personal safety’ and how I should attempt to control something it’s been known I can’t.”
“Nice show of ‘personal safety’ here. Hanging out with a prisoner.”
“Well, that’s different. I know you won’t hurt me.” Amanda stretched her legs out in front of her. Her shorts (cut and hemmed herself; she couldn’t stand the feeling of long pants) gave way to a view of the plentiful cuts and bruises patched up with small bits of gauze and medical tape that littered her legs.
Luca turned to press his face against the bars. “How do you know?” he said, his tone suddenly serious. “I’m a prisoner, just like everyone else here. There’s bunches of people who have it out for you. How do you know I’m not one?”
“You protect me. You’ve fought for me before. You’ve gotten hurt for me. You teach me things and listen when I talk. You never push me past what I want to say.” Amanda’s voice got firmer as she went on, almost like she was insinuating Luca was an idiot for ever even considering himself a harm to her. “If you were dangerous, you would have done something bad to me by now.”
A long silence from Luca followed. “Fair enough” was his response before he turned away from her, back to the bars again. The pause in the silence was brief before it stretched back on for a few minutes. After a while, Amanda’s hands started messing with the hem of her shirt again, almost like she was trying to figure out how to approach a subject.
“Cat got your tongue?” Luca started for her.
“I’m thinking.”
“Wow really. Never would have guessed.” Luca always laid his sarcasm on heavy after a few months ago when he realized Amanda thought he was actually being mean to her and not just being sarcastic.
Amanda was silent for a bit again. Just as Luca started to think he scared her away, she spoke. “Can you tell me about outside again?”
This topic came up a lot between the two. Amanda had never really experienced life outside the prison, and even her lessons with Mr. Leroux had been moved to a room inside the prison after her condition got worse. Luca really did feel bad for her. After he got out of here he would work on getting her out too. Luca promised it to himself again, just as he did every time he saw Amanda. “Let me think…” he responded. They talked about his studies a million times, and the topic and his minimal memories associated with it had started to get a bit stale to Amanda. As Luca responded, Amanda picked up her discarded film canister and started to fiddle with it again.
“There was a nice restaurant by my house. I used to go a lot. I would study for school stuff in there, and sometimes the workers had to wake me up when I fell asleep on my books.” That earned a small laugh from Amanda, which Luca took as more fuel to keep going. “I studied wherever I could, really. I loved studying. Shame that they don’t give me many books in here. I miss reading.”
“I have some books you can borrow. They’re all mysteries and things, though. I don’t know what you like to read.”
“I’ll read anything I can get my hands on.”
“Okay, I’ll bring the ones I’ve already finished next time. Mr. Leroux brings me a new one from the church store every week when he stops by.”
“That’s awfully kind of him.”
“He’s nice. I like him.” Amanda paused. “He’s like family to me. He treats me how I think families should treat each other.”
“And how’s that?”
“Kind. Understanding maybe. But the kind of understanding where even if you don’t really know what the other person is going through, you still understand them, so you kind of get it still. He’s like that.” Amanda’s hands stopped on her film canister. “He doesn’t make fun of my visions. He tells me to write them down.”
“Have you been writing them down?”
“A little. When I remember them, yes. But I forget a lot of them…” Amanda seemed apologetic, like she was afraid of the consequences of not trying hard enough by others standards.
“Understandable. I forget a lot too.” Luca smiled at her.
“Oh, I know.” Amanda smiled back, her eyes not meeting Luca’s fully. It was another habit of hers that Luca shared as well. Maybe that’s why they got along so well. They understood.
Amanda turned away before speaking again. When she gained her voice, it was smaller, more nervous. “Is it… strange to see people who aren’t related to you as family?”
Luca tilted his head up, leaning back to look up at the ceiling. “Nah, not in my opinion.” He paused a beat. “Why?”
“Well…” Amanda’s words were slow, deliberate. She was choosing every word carefully before they were spoken. “I sort of see you the same way, if that makes sense.” Amanda turned to look at Luca, and Luca turned to her in response. Her next words were quieter.
“You’re like a brother to me.”
“Really?” Luca’s voice matched Amanda’s quietness. Amanda nodded in response. “That’s so cool…” Luca grinned.
“Okay, you ruined the moment.” Amanda turned away quickly, but Luca still caught a sliver of her grin. “I tried to say something nice for once-”
Luca fake whined, reaching to grab her arm through the bars, whining “Amanda nooo!! I think it’s so great I’m your brotherrr…”. At the same time Luca was complaining, Amanda was shaking her head and saying “Nope. Not anymore.” The display went on for another minute before they both started laughing enough that the words had no form left.
After the giggles died down, Luca spoke again. “I really do think it’s great I’m your brother.” He paused. “Does that make you my sister?”
“If you would like.”
“I’d like that a lot.”
“Me too.”