Chapter Text
Everyone was at Athena’s house, celebrating Christmas the same way they do every year. By everyone I mean Athena, Buck, Eddie, Chim, Maddie, Hen, Karen, Ravi, May, Harry, Denny, Mara, Chris and Theo. Their whole family. Everyone was sitting at the table, besides the kids who were playing with their new toys.
Buck sat beside Eddie, of course. But he drifted away in his thoughts, looking at the table with all the left overs.
„Hey, you okay?” Eddie asked him, putting his hand on Buck’s shoulder, rubbing his thumb against the soft fabric of his sweater.
„Yeah, yeah I’m fine” Buck snaps out and looks at Eddie, giving him a soft smile. But Eddie knows him for way too long to believe that. He always sees right through him.
„Buck. I know you well enough to know when you’re lying” Eddie said looking at Buck’s eyes.
„I… I know. It’s just, another Christmas without him you know? I miss him” Buck finally confessed, holding back his tears.
„I know, I know Buck… we all miss him but he’s right here with us okay? He’s watching over us. It’s okay.” Buck just nodded and smiled.
„Dad!” Theo screamed all of a sudden. „I bet you won’t catch me!”
„Oh you don’t know what you’re asking for!” Buck screamed back and stood up, chasing the younger version of himself.
Theo put his hands up while running around the kitchen with his new car toy in his hand. Suddenly something fell off of the kitchen counter, because Theo pushed it off with his toy accidentally. Buck heard the glass shattering and he quickly went to the other side where Theo was, to found his standing and looking down at the scattered mug. Theo was crying. Every time he cried, Buck felt as if he was about to start crying too. Buck quickly hoovered the glass to the side and kneeled down in front of him.
„Hey, Theo, look at me buddy” Buck said with a calm voice, putting his hands om Theo’s shoulders.
„I’m sorry daddy…” Theo looked at him with red eyes from crying. Buck moved one of his hand to Theo’s cheek and wiped away his tears.
„Hey, no, don’t be sorry bud. It’s not your fault, accidents happen alright? Remember what we’re repeating every day? Before sleep?” Buck asked calmly. Theo nodded. „Okay, than tell me, go ahead”
„I am lovable, I am capable, I am smart, I am brave and I am enough” Theo started saying.
Buck made sure Theo repeated these words everyday before sleep, not to make the same mistakes as his parents did. So Theo knows that he’s more than enough. That he’s the best thing that ever happened to Buck.
„Yeah, that’s right Theo. I love you, remember that, always. We all love you so much” Buck said pulling Theo in to a tight hug.
„I love you too dad” Theo whispered while hugging him. Buck didn’t let him go until Theo pulled back himself. He always followed the Disney world rule. After a minute Theo pulled back and smiled.
„Now go play with Chris and others okay?”
„Yay! Big brother Chris!” Theo screamed happily and ran to Chris.
Buck stood up and started to collect the glass parts. He turned around and his heart jumped, because he saw Eddie standing just a few inches away from him.
„God you scared me” Buck said and smiled.
„You’re doing such a good job with him. You’re a great dad, Buck” Eddie smiled.
„I’m trying to be better than my parents were, sometimes I feel like I’m failing…” Buck said but cut off. He didn’t say anything else.
„Buck…”
„No, it’s Christmas. I shouldn’t, you know. Ruin the atmosphere”
„You’re not ruining anything, it’s okay not to feel okay.”
„Yeah… let’s just go, everyone’s probably waiting” Buck said and smiled. They went back to the table, talking and laughing with others.
Suddenly everyone who was sat at the table looked above Buck’s and Eddie’s heads.
„What?” Buck asked and looked up, Eddie did the same.
A mistletoe.
The kids set it up, with the help of Maddie. Of course.
Chim Huffed, looking at their confused faces.
„Go on lovebirds!” He commented.
Both of them looked at each other and both smiled. Eddie got closer to Buck and kissed him on his cheek.
„Awh come on! That doesn’t count” Maddie said. Buck was already annoyed with them, so he put a hand on Eddie’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. It wasn’t long of course, just a quick smooch. Not a big deal. Right?
Buck pulled back and sat back on his chair. Everyone cheered, whistling and clapping.
„Okay, okay calm down everyone” Eddie said.
„Yeah, it’s just a kiss” Buck said.
Everyone started saying things and rolling their eyes. The convos continued, kids continued to play, the desserts were served but Buck couldn’t focus. He wanted more. More of Eddie’s lips. He can still taste the vanilla chapstick, that Eddie is using, on his lips.
No. He can’t. He can’t think that.
***
It’s the New Year’s Eve. There’s a party at Athena’s place, everyone’s meeting there to celebrate. Buck has been avoiding Eddie as much as he could ever since Christmas.
He couldn’t look at him and not think about the kiss. Ever since, he’s been dreaming about it. About them together. But he’s scared of what Eddie would think. If Eddie feels the same? Does he also dream of Buck in a… intense way?
It doesn’t matter now. He has to get ready and get Theo ready.
„Ready for the new year Buddy?” Buck asked him, picking him up and hugging him tight.
„Yeah! I miss Chris and Edbear!” Theo has been calling that Eddie, because he always welcomes him with a big bear hug, at least that’s what they call it.
„Come on, let’s go. There’s probably traffic so we’ll leave earlier” Buck said, putting Theo down and grabbing things he needed.
At the place they were the second to come, first was May and Harry. But slowly everyone started coming. They all talked to each other, drank some alcohol but Buck didn’t drink. He wasn’t in the mood and in case he would be the driver.
Time passed by, everyone laughing, kids playing. Buck has been already a bit overwhelmed. He went outside and sat on the stairs, looking up at the sky full of stars.
Eddie came out and sat beside Buck.
„Overwhelmed?” Eddie asked, totally seeing through Buck.
„Yeah, just too loud” Buck said quietly.
„Buck I… I’ve got this feeling that you’re avoiding me and I want to be honest with you and ask you straight away, is it about the kiss? On Christmas Eve?” Eddie asked.
„Yeah… kind of. I didn’t mean to avoid you but… I’ve been thinking a lot and I’m sorry that I kissed you then”
„It’s okay, I understand, you wanted them to stop acting like a bunch of kids”
„Yeah”
There is a moment of silence. Suddenly everyone comes out, because it turns out to be five more minutes til midnight.
Both of them got up and everyone started talking. After the minutes passed, the countdown has started.
FIVE
Buck stood closer to Eddie.
FOUR
Eddie turned to face him.
THREE
They looked each other deep into their eyes.
TWO
They both smiled.
ONE
Eddie put his hands on Buck’s cheeks.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
„Happy new year Eddie” Buck said.
„Happy new year” Eddie said and pulled Buck into a kiss. Buck put his hands on Eddie’s waist and kissed him back, gently pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.
Everything and everyone around them disappeared. There were only them. Only their lips pressed together. Eddie moved his hand to Buck’s hair, pulling it softly.
When they stopped kissing, they didn’t pull back. They pressed their foreheads together, their breathes mixing together.
„I love you…” Buck whispered.
„I love you too” Eddie whispered back.