Work Text:
New behind-the-scenes pictures for the sixth season of Paranoid had leaked, and it had become the topic of 95% of Megan and Sarah’s conversations (the other 5% being what was missing from the shopping list).
“But it looks so bad!” said Sarah, ‘it’ being Mishka’s new hair. “He looks like a walking midlife crisis, and most importantly, totally unfuckable. Jack won’t fuck him, Meg. It’s a tragedy!”
“It’s a nice throwback to the first season. You liked the long hair then!”
“In the first season, the long hair went with the dirty clothes and face paint. It does not go with the three-piece suit. And let’s not forget the goatee.”
Which was the one point they agreed on. “The fucking goatee. The fucking dead rodent on his face!”
*
Sarah had got over her fear of posting fic publicly since she started dating Megan. It certainly helped that Megan loved betaing for her, and corrected her sometimes wonky grammar. Sarah had her latest chapter open on Google docs, Megan’s comments waiting to be addressed.
Would you consider perhaps, maybe, possibly, using Mishka instead of Mick? Or Michael, even! Totally up to you, I’ll support you 98% (2% docked for bad taste)
She didn’t think long about that one. Mishka might be the name he used most frequently, but there was something about your loved one calling you by a nickname. And Michael couldn’t be a nickname, that was the name the principal would use to call him into his office (or the head of the CIA, whatever). So, Mick. She wasn’t the only one in the fandom that liked the name. Plenty of her thousands of followers reblogged her meta posts about it! So the answer was simple:
NEVER!!
*
“If you reblog one more Stucky gifset, I might have to unfollow you,” said Megan, who was scrolling on her phone to avoid looking at her dissertation.
Sarah didn’t bother looking up from her own work. “I know it’s taboo to talk about in this house, but Mishka is a Bucky expy. And Jack is a Steve expy as well, he’s just not blond.”
“Take that back!” Megan totally knew her OTP were Stucky expies, she just didn’t agree that that meant she also had to ship Stucky, which although the original, were clearly inferior, mostly because she didn’t find the actors as hot. She was shallow sometimes, sue her.
She tackled Sarah, sending her laptop off the sofa and making her yelp, “Jack would never be so tacky as to dress up in the American flag!”
It wasn’t a fight at all, not when both parties forgot they were meant to be fighting the moment they got their hands on each other. But Sarah liked having the last word, so she interrupted their kissing to murmur in Megan's ear, “When the CIA buries Jack, they will drape the tacky American flag over his coffin!”
*
“What the hell did you send me?” Asked Sarah, looking at her screen. “What is Dreamwidth?”
“A website? Where people do fandom, among other things?” Megan had sent her a link to a new Paranoid kinkmeme.
Sarah didn’t do well with long threaded posts, it turned out. Or html anything. Megan had to help her with the spoiler cut on her fill (because she did fill a prompt, because the kinkmeme was awesome! And Megan always had good ideas.)
“God, you’re old. Only old people can navigate this.”
“Yes, and you’re a baby, all of three years younger than me. Gasp! What a problematic age gap. You better find a new girlfriend on TikTok.”
*
Alpha Mishka this, Omega Mishka that, Jack always the afterthought… Obviously Megan and Sarah couldn’t agree on what combination of designations made more sense (or as Megan saw it, because simple sometimes is better, what designations were hotter). Nine whole setups to argue about, and that was before adding the worldbuilding. What was the point of omegaverse if Omega butts didn’t self-lubricate? Asked Sarah. Literally why does that matter when you prefer them both to be Betas? Asked Megan back. And so on, and so forth.
*
Months after meeting, Megan finished writing Starlight, frequently recced as the fic to read for maximum Mishka woobieness. And Sarah still hated woobie!Mishka with her whole heart.
The first time they argued about Megan’s characterization, they solved it by having hot sex about it. The second time, they did the same thing. And so they had many, many subsequent times. But Sarah was trying to grow as a person, and so she thought of another way that their clashing headcanons could happily coexist.
“What do you think of co-writing fic?” She asked Megan.
“I think that I hated group projects in school. Why?”
Because Megan was sometimes a bit slow, Sarah had to clarify that she meant co-writing fic with her, specifically, her creative writing group partner and also life partner.
“I was thinking parallel universes coming together. Your Mishka, sad dish rag Mishka who needs help bathing. And my Mick, who’s still traumatized but too well trained to ever not be competent. And they meet and need to work together to send Mick back to his universe. If you want, Mick can even help Mishka cut his hair!”
Megan quickly got into the idea. “We alternate POVs, write a chapter each. And when they figure out that sending Mick back is irreversible, they both angst about not seeing the other ever again. Mishka will cry so much!”
“And Mick will stoically press the button, or whatever he needs to do to go back to his Jack!” Sarah grabbed Megan and shook her, excited she’d said yes. “Megan, I love you, bad Mishka takes and all.”