Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Choi noticed, as he did with everything. His perceptiveness often came to him as both a blessing and a curse, but which one it would be this time around still had yet to reveal itself. In fact, he noticed something wrong nearly immediately from the first time he saw him.

A slight furrow in Bronze's brow, expression slightly strained. The way his hand often moved near his neck, face twitching with discomfort. He cleared his throat once, but nothing seemed to come of it. His eyebrow furrowed slightly more, hand leaving his throat with silent resignation, and he seemed to give up on the endeavor entirely.

Bronze-ie doesn't get sick often, he thought with just a touch of amusement. Concern, too, of course. It's just like him to come in for work anyways.

Choi observed. A little too hard, maybe, because Bronze inevitably noticed. His eyes met Choi's, and Choi saw something strange in them. Just for a fraction of a second, something flashing across his expression, gone before Choi could even begin to pinpoint what it was. He almost doubted that he saw it in the first place. Odd.

"Can I help you with something, senior?" he asked. There was an ever-so-slight weakness to his voice. "You've been staring at me for a while."

"Am I not allowed to?" Choi asked jokingly, resting his cheek on his hand. Then, in a more serious tone so that Bronze knew he was asking a genuine question, he asked, "Are you alright? You seem sick."

"I'm alright," Bronze said quickly. Too quickly for it to be true. What a rehearsed response. "Just a scratchy throat. It'll go away on its own. But could you help me with something real quick?"

He plastered a smile back on his face. It was an obvious lie, or rather some sort of deflection, but it wasn't as though he had given Choi much room to argue. That, at least, had probably been his aim. "Of course!" he said. I'll keep an eye on it.

Jaekwan would have liked to say he knew where things began to take a turn for the worse for him. But, then again, he couldn't easily put his finger on one specific thing. Maybe it had just been when he woke up that morning, an itch in his throat that he couldn't quite scratch. Some sort of sickness that he decided to just blame on stress, because that was the only thing he could think of that could put his mind at ease.

Maybe it'd been the day before, when Choi and Grapes had returned to the waiting room from a Disaster, tension thick in the air and short words on their tongues. No answers for Jaekwan, as a matter of course, though in hindsight he should have known at that point that asking or waiting for answers from either of them was a fruitless endeavor.

"How did things go?" he'd asked.

"Fine," was the answer he received, and little else beyond that. Agent Choi had hardly even remained in the waiting room for long, leaving shortly after their return and coming back into the room smelling faintly of smoke.

He'd tried to turn to Grapes for answers, too. "Did something happen?" he asked when Choi left.

Grapes had simply shrugged at him as though he were confused as well, but the guarded look in his eyes stated otherwise. Jaekwan knew when to leave well enough alone, so he stopped pushing. Still, he couldn't help the pang of hurt that he felt at what felt like blatant rejection.

It wasn't the first time he'd been left frustratingly out of the loop with the two of them, and it likely wouldn't be the last if this sort of trend continued. It felt like things were falling apart right in front of him, a thick piece of glass shoved between them that prevented Jaekwan from reaching through and gathering the pieces.

"…Alright," he'd said reluctantly. And when Choi came back later, he'd made it seem like everything was fine, despite the stench of smoke clinging to him.

It's none of my business, Jaekwan thought, not entirely convinced of that himself. They'd tell me if it was something I needed to know.

Still, it wasn't exactly pleasant seeing the tensions rising within their team. Doubts and worries had already slowly began creeping into his mind, but it'd been about that night when he succumbed to the thought that had been lingering in the back of his mind.

That maybe his first mistake was believing he could find a home in something inherently temporary.

It'd been a fleeting thought, one he'd tried to brush off immediately. It wasn't right for him to think in that manner. Choi and Grapes were allowed to have their own issues, and they were allowed to work through them without him. But, still, he couldn't help but feel like something was going terribly wrong from just beyond his grasp.

…It didn't go away.

The following morning, he woke up with a scratchy throat and a slight tightness in his chest and he'd thought nothing of it. Just stress, he'd thought. Somewhere in the back of his mind, though, he wondered if it was truly something that simple.

Soleum watched with curious eyes as Bronze excused himself to leave the room. It was probably just for the sake of going to the restroom, but he still felt the slightest hint of dread at the thought of being left alone in the room with Agent Choi. Not after what had happened the day before. His sole reprieve was the thought that the senior agent seemed more than content with acting like nothing had happened between them.

…For better or worse. At least it allowed Soleum to act like things were alright, even if that wasn't entirely the case in reality. His eyes lingered on the door for a moment before they returned to his computer. Bronze would probably be back soon, in any case.

Choi let out a quiet hum from his place in the room. Soleum's eyes were drawn away from his report once more in favor of raising an eyebrow at the other agent, who was staring at the door with a serious expression. Choi noticed him staring, and they locked eyes.

Choi pointed vaguely to Bronze's empty seat. "Does he seem alright to you?" he asked.

Soleum blinked stupidly for a moment, failing to register the question for a few seconds. Then he turned the question over in his head, trying to recall Bronze's behavior from the past few hours. It wasn't like they'd interacted all that much over the course of the day, though now that he was thinking about it…

"Is he sick?" Soleum asked in turn. Bronze had been a bit more reserved than he usually was, but he'd been under the impression that maybe the other agent was just tired. They all had their off days, after all. Those kinds of days were an inevitability.

Choi hummed once more in contemplation. "Maybe."

What a vague answer, Soleum thought. It stood, however, that the fact that Choi felt the need to ask at all meant that he likely suspected that something was up with Bronze. "He could just be feeling under the weather," he pointed out. "I wouldn't want to jump to conclusions."

He could practically see the gears turning in Choi's head, eyes never leaving the door. "You could be right, Grapes-ie," he said. "Could be nothing." Still, despite his words, he didn't exactly sound inclined to believe it. He hummed once more before returning to whatever task he'd been completing earlier (though that assumed he was doing anything in the first place. Soleum wasn't entirely convinced that he wasn't just trying to look busy).

Choi's worries must have spread to him, though, because Soleum spent a good portion of the day trying to discreetly observe Bronze without making it obvious that he was doing so. Just that in itself had been enough to confirm that there was something off about the other agent's condition, granted he was out of it enough to not feel Soleum staring at him.

True to Choi's words (or, rather, implications), there definitely seemed to be something off about Bronze, though it was all stuff that could be passed off as sickness or exhaustion. Something of a scratchy, weak voice. He seemed slightly short of breath, though it was hard to tell if that was the case since the difference was so slight. The way he cleared his throat semi-regularly, seeming to grow increasingly frustrated.

He's at least sick, Soleum concluded. He didn't seem flush in the face at all, so at the bare minimum he didn't seem to have a fever, and neither was he pale. It just seemed as though he was bothered by a dry or sore throat.

So why had Choi seemed so convinced that something was off otherwise? Was it just some kind of intuition?

…Yet it wasn't as though Choi's intuition was off very often. Soleum chewed his bottom lip for a moment, eyes flickering up from his computer to glance at Bronze for what must have been the umpteenth time in the past hour. He didn't understand what Choi was seeing that he wasn't, but… He'd keep an eye on it.

He did care for Agent Bronze, after all. He was a good man, someone whose care Soleum didn't think he deserved given his position. If there was something – anything he could do to help the agent, then he'd do his best within his abilities.

[What an interesting development,] Braun commented. The host said nothing more beyond that.

Interesting? Soleum thought, continuing to chew on his lip. It couldn't have been anything normal if Braun felt the need to comment on it. Just what is going on?

Bronze did not get better. What Choi had initially attempted to pass off as a cold was certainly not that. In fact, he couldn't tell if his junior was even sick at all. At least, in the traditional sense of the word sick. There were few visible indications that he was feeling unwell, but he was under the impression that they were just being masked or something of the sort.

The bottom line was that Bronze was feeling unwell. He had been feeling unwell for days now, going back at least three days. Choi was very reasonably concerned about this.

"Bronze-ie," Choi called. He watched Bronze lift his head up from the papers he was looking over and look at him in question. Really, Bronze seemed so good at masking whatever it was that Choi could barely tell that there was something wrong at all. "You should go home."

"Go home?" For his part, he seemed genuinely confused by the suggestion. No, maybe he was confused. "Why?"

Choi felt just as confused as Bronze seemed to be. What was so complicated about this? Moreover, was Bronze always the type to do something like this? It seemed like he should have been the one more adamant about prioritizing recovery when he was sick: Not being so insistent upon coming in. "You're sick," he pointed out bluntly. "You should go home. We can take care of stuff here."

Bronze stared at the paper in his hands with a sort of blank look that didn't look right on his face. "No, I'm alright, senior. Thank you for your concern."

Choi furrowed his eyebrows. He opened his mouth to say something more, but Grapes beat him to the punch.

"Agent, you really should go rest," Kim Soleum said. Choi shut his mouth, nodding in agreement. That, at least, was something they could see eye-to-eye on. "You don't look well."

"I'm fine," Bronze insisted after a moment too long for it to be true. "I just didn't sleep well last night. It'll pass."

Yeah, bullshit, Choi immediately thought. It's been days. Do you think we don't notice?

He paused at that. Surely not…?

"You…" He ran a hand through his hair, now beginning to feel frustrated. What was this? What was going on? Bronze had never blocked him out in this manner before, and it frustrated him that he couldn't figure out what the origin of this was. What had happened when this all started? Was it something he had done? Something Kim Soleum had done?

Choi sighed, leaning back in his chair in resignation and running a hand down his face. This was certainly a… new situation for him to navigate around. He opened his mouth to say something once more, but Bronze abruptly stood up before he could gather his words.

"I'll be right back," he said, speed-walking out of the room. His hand was covering his mouth. Choi stared after him, dumbfounded. Then he exchanged a look with Kim Soleum to see if there was anything he picked up on.

"Something's wrong," Kim Soleum said. No shit, Choi thought, glad that he at least had the tact and impulse control required to not say that out loud. He was already on thin ice with Kim Soleum as it was. But he seemed to read his expression anyway, amending his statement. "I don't think you get what I mean, senior."

"Explain it to me, then," Choi said, trying not to let any frustration leak into his voice. It wasn't like it was Kim Soleum that he was presently frustrated with, anyway. He wasn't frustrated at anyone, but whatever was going on was just frustrating him in general. "He's never…" He paused. "He's never been like this."

Kim Soleum stared at the entrance to the waiting room for a few long moments. Choi hoped he was trying to gather some words as opposed to just leaving him on a cliffhanger like this. "…I don't know for sure." Damn him. Only seeming to speak when he knew something for certain. It was a good habit to have, since speculation was a dangerous thing, but at the moment it was only serving to irritate Choi. "I'll look into it."

"So you do know something?" Choi asked, trying to prompt the other agent into giving him something.

But Kim Soleum didn't answer. Choi let out another drawn out sigh, leaning back in his chair as far as it would allow him to. How frustrating.

Jaekwan leaned over the sink in the bathroom. He was grateful, not for the first time and certainly not the last, that there was nobody inside with him. He coughed, chest practically rattling with the force as spots of blood spattered onto his hand. His throat felt completely torn to shreds. More than that, it felt like there was something stuck in his lungs, stuck in his throat, just waiting for the chance to explode.

He sank down towards the floor, one hand still grasping onto the edge of the sink. It'd been difficult trying not to arouse suspicion from his teammates, and clearly he was failing enough at doing that. Both of them already had enough on their plates. Surely this was something Jaekwan could take care of on his lonesome.

He coughed once more into his hand. Then twice. A third time. The metallic taste of blood continued to invade his tongue, the smell lingering in his nose. He let out a low, pained groan, hunching over slightly more. Tears stung at the corners of his eyes, but they were quickly blinked away. You've been through worse, Bronze, he told himself, standing straight once more.This is nothing.

Jaekwan attempted to ignore the itch and tickle in his throat and chest once more as he turned the water on, ridding his hands of the evidence. The water hit his hands and ran off as a metallic orange, swirling in the sink before disappearing down the drain. For good measure, he splashed water on his face and looked in the mirror to make sure he looked alright, at least.

He most certainly did not. Still, he was pretty sure he could still pass his condition off as being from a lack of sleep. It wasn't as if it was entirely untrue, and generally most agents found themselves with a hard night or two every now and again.

Jaekwan devolved into another fit of painful coughs, the ones he'd been holding back while he was in the waiting room earlier suddenly coming back to hit him with full force. Something seemed to dislodge itself from deep within the cavities of his chest, flying out of his mouth with one last cough as the fit subsided.

He blinked tears away once more before looking into the sink. Right there, sitting ominously just above the drain, was a single bundle of five small flowers, each no bigger than his fingertip. They were stained with his blood, but the light blue of each of their five small, round petals still glared up at him.

What? he thought hysterically, shakily picking the bundle up with his fingers. Where did this come from?

From me? There was no other possible place of origin. It fit suspiciously well… But it made no sense. How would it have…?

No, there was no use in trying to make sense of things that made no sense. Still, just to be on the safe side, he took one of the thin paper towels from the paper towel dispenser and carefully folded the flowers within, shoving the napkin in his pocket. He returned to the sink to wash his hands and face of any evidence before returning once more to the waiting room.

Choi and Grapes were waiting for his return, after all. They would get suspicious if he was gone for too long.

"This is a bad idea," Soleum muttered, walking at Agent Choi's side as they made their way towards the bathroom.

Choi shrugged at him, feigning helplessness. He was smiling, but it was tight and tense. Clearly, it wasn't accurately reflective of how he actually felt at the moment. "You chose to come with, Grapes-ie. You're an accomplice at this point."

That wasn't exactly he could argue against, but it wasn't like this was something he'd wanted to do in the first place. He was just coming along to make sure Choi didn't get caught. That wasn't to say that his senior agent would get caught in the first place, since he was a lot more cautious than he let on, but…

[Friend, you can just say you were curious!] Braun interjected. [Is it not natural to investigate one's concerns?]

Soleum sighed. Yes, he was curious. He was concerned, too. Nothing about Bronze's behavior or condition were normal for the agent. To an extent, while he still wasn't entirely on board with the idea, he was somewhat relieved that Choi had suggested investigating around five minutes after Bronze initially left the room.

"We're just going to listen in," Choi had told him, looking much too proud of the bare-bones plan that he'd come up with. "When he starts coming out of the bathroom, we'll book it back here and act like nothing happened at all. Bronze-ie is too trusting to suspect a thing, you know?"

He didn't fancy the idea of going behind Bronze's back to do this, even if it was out of concern for the man's health. (Then again, he'd already been doing a lot more and a lot worse behind Bronze's back, so what was one more thing?) Still, he wanted answers if nothing else, so he'd agreed to come along. For better or worse, anyway.

They both fell into silence as the bathroom came into view. Distantly, Soleum realized that they would probably look creepy to any passersby. If not creepy, then certainly insane.

…If neither of those, then they'd probably just assume it was one of Choi's odd whims. That worked in Soleum's favor.

The thought didn't help himself in feeling any better standing outside of the men's restroom with his ear pressed close to the door. Choi seemed less concerned about appearances, not even making an attempt to look casual by any means. Soleum turned his attention away from the agent across from him, instead focusing on what he could hear inside the bathroom.

Do we even know that he's here? Soleum wondered.

[I don't think you need to worry about that, Friend.]

Sure enough, he heard movement inside. No, it wasn't accurate to call it movement, given it was just the faucet turning on. The water shut off soon after it was turned on, but there was no movement approaching the door. There was no shuffling of feet, and the shadows beneath the door didn't change at all to indicate anything either.

Soleum opened his mouth to make a comment, but Choi tensed, pressing a finger to his lips. He shut his mouth.

That was when he heard it. Painful coughs that made Soleum's own chest tighten sympathetically. They sounded almost like the individual inside, most certainly Bronze, was choking on something rather than him having a cold or something of the sort. The sound was muffled by the door, but it still sounded absolutely dreadful despite that.

Has he been holding that back all day? It wasn't as though Soleum hadn't noticed the way Bronze had been occasionally spasming with silent coughs throughout the day, but he hadn't thought it'd been to such an extent.

The coughs subsided after much too long. He made eye contact with Choi, who looked as pained as Soleum felt. A few moments passed, and the water turned on once more.

[Well, he's certainly diligent about washing his hands!]

Not a very helpful comment on Braun's end, Soleum would admit. Choi seemed to chew at his lip for a moment before removing his ear from the door, jerking his head to indicate that they should head back to the waiting room. Soleum nodded, swallowing thickly.

He was actually more than eager to leave that scene behind. His mind was racing at about a thousand miles per hour as they quickly made their way back to the waiting room. Something feels wrong about this, his mind was screaming at him. There were no real signs pointing towards it, but somehow he just knew that this wasn't just some simple illness.

So what was it, then? Contamination? If so, then when had it started and why was it only getting bad now?

[Hm, I don't think that's entirely right.]

The vague hints were undoubtedly frustrating, though he considered that they were honestly better than nothing. At this point, he couldn't expect the host to give him any straight answers, given that he clearly derived more entertainment from Soleum figuring things out for himself.

So it's not contamination. If it wasn't contamination and it wasn't a normal illness, then what the hell was it?

He was so deep in his thoughts that he almost didn't notice when they'd arrived back at the waiting room until Choi stopped abruptly to open the door. Soleum almost ran into him, but he managed to react quick enough to not do so. They were both silent as they stepped inside, returning to their respective seats in the room.

They sat there for a few moments before Choi breathed, "What the hell?"

Soleum didn't know if he was just saying that or if he was trying to initiate conversation about it.

"Is it contamination?" Choi continued. At this point, he was pretty certain that the agent was talking to him rather than thinking aloud.

"It's possible," Soleum said vaguely. It wouldn't do him any good to outright deny it, because by all means he should have no way of knowing. "I don't know what it is." That part, at least, was true.

"You seemed so certain about something earlier," Choi muttered. Was that supposed to be a dig at him? Probably, but Soleum found he didn't have the mental capacity required to care about both that and whatever this situation was.

"I'm certain about what it isn't, not what it is," Soleum countered.

The other agent just let out a small, exasperated groan, ruffling his hair in clear frustration. His eyes flickered towards the door. "Well, let's just see what he has to say when he gets back."

I don't think he'll say much of anything, Soleum wanted to say, given how he was acting earlier. He refrained from actually speaking that into the world, though, granted he was pretty sure Choi was already aware of that.

Forget what Choi said about Bronze going home.

Well, actually… Bronze should go home, but maybe take Choi home with him…? No, that sounds wrong. The baseline was that, rather than Bronze going home on his own to get rest, Choi was worried enough about the situation that he'd rather just keep the other agent somewhere where he could keep an eye on him and his condition.

At the same time, however, he also really didn't think that Bronze was in any position to be working right now. If they got called into a Disaster and somehow got split up–

He cut the thought off there. It wasn't exactly something he wanted to think about. There was no point in worrying about things that hadn't happened and weren't certain to happen. Rather, it was far more productive on his part to worry about the things he could control at present.

Aigoo… How is one supposed to help someone who doesn't want help? It was one thing if it was a civilian, since he could usually somehow wrangle them into cooperation, but this felt like a much more complicated situation.

Not even taking into account the fact that Bronze was such a stubborn person, which at least occasionally worked in his favor but was most certainly not working in his favor now.

Bronze returned to the waiting room a few minutes after Choi and Grapes did. He looked mostly the same, if not just slightly more of a mess than he had before. It was clear he'd washed up well, at least, which was suspicious in and of itself. Choi could see lingering water clinging to his face, particularly the bottom of his chin where he must have neglected to dry it properly.

If Choi hadn't known any better, hadn't heard what he'd heard, maybe he really would have begun to think that Bronze was just tired. But he did know better.

"That took a while," Choi commented when his junior walked in the room. "Was there a line coming out the door or something?" Hah, as if he hadn't been there himself just moments earlier. There hadn't even been anyone in the area, nevermind in the bathroom. Maybe a part of him was just curious to see if Bronze would lie about this, too.

Bronze gave him an odd, unreadable look. "…No," he said after a moment of pause. "I just lost track of time for a moment. It won't happen again."

Ah. He slipped up. Choi cringed internally at the response. Bronze-ie, you make it so difficult to do anything when you're like this. It would have been easier if the agent had just blatantly lied. "Don't worry about it, Bronze-ie," he said in an attempt to recover from the mistake he seemed to have made. "I was just teasing you."

Bronze didn't respond, just sitting down at his desk and getting himself absorbed in his work once more. He made eye contact with Grapes, who seemed to be sending a look telling him to abort. Choi tried not to sigh. This is really all going to shit, isn't it?

Contamination, was the simple conclusion that Jaekwan had come to. It had to be some form of contamination.

It wasn't like it was entirely uncommon for contamination to have a slow onset or begin unnoticeably. He knew that, for some, it could take months for any noticeable symptoms to appear. But just what Disaster had he gone into that could have caused flowers to start growing in his airways?

He looked through the reports he'd made over the course of the past few months. Contaminations were usually related to the Disaster they came from in some manner or other, so surely he'd be able to find the matching Disaster and make an estimate as to how long he'd been contaminated.

He stared at the cursor on his screen with shaking eyes. I can't find a thing.

That's fine, he thought immediately after. Maybe it'd been a Disaster he'd managed to enter while he was off of work, nevermind the fact that he couldn't think of anything of the sort. This is fine. It doesn't matter when it happened as long as I get it treated.

Choi was the first to leave when the day came to a close, leaving with extensive goodbyes and going so far as to ruffle Jaekwan's hair with both of his hands.

"Go home soon, alright, Bronze-ie?" he'd said, ignoring Jaekwan's attempts to bat his hands away. Something about it was still comforting, though, which made his chest tighten with an odd surge of emotion. He could almost feel himself choke up, though that might have also been something more literal. "Can't have our most reliable member down like this, can we?"

Most reliable member, huh? "I'm fine, senior," he said. "Just go home."

"Aigoo, so cold. I'm off, I'm off. Don't stay too late either, Grapes-ie."

Jaekwan had to excuse himself once more almost immediately after the senior agent left. The choking and tightening of his chest had been a more literal thing, as he quickly found out. He picked more bloody petals and flowers out of the sink– more of the small blue ones– deciding to carefully wrap them in napkins and dispose of them.

Had it been coincidence? Or was it somehow something connected to Choi in some way he couldn't understand? Rather than thinking too hard about it while he was still in the bathroom, he decided it better to return to his desk before he was gone for too long.

"You should go home soon, Agent," Grapes said when he returned, a concerned look on his face.

"I will," Jaekwan replied. "I just have a few things to finish." He had, after all, put some things off earlier when he'd been trying to look back through his reports.

Grapes was still around when he did eventually finish up and began to leave the waiting room. He made for the door, only to be stopped when Grapes called his name. He turned, raising an eyebrow in question and prompting the other agent to continue.

"Are you sure everything is alright?" Grapes asked from his desk. Jaekwan tried his best to give him a reassuring look, though he wasn't sure it sat too well on his face.

"Of course. Thank you for your concern, Grapes-ah," he said, lungs feeling like they were being squeezed once more. "It'll pass." As all things do. "Make sure you don't stay too late. It's not good for you."

Grapes looked like he wanted to say something to that, but he refrained. Instead, he just told Jaekwan to have a good rest before returning to his computer. Jaekwan lingered for a moment at the door before leaving the waiting room.

He didn't go home immediately. Instead, he decided to go and see if he could get treated for this contamination. The sooner it was gone, the better, after all. He needed to be able to return to work properly soon. He couldn't bear the thought of being a detriment to Choi and Grapes, especially not if they found themselves dispatched to a Disaster while he was in this state.

…His detour turned out to be fruitless.

"It's not contamination," he'd been told. "Or, if it is, it's not something within our means to treat." He'd been given a sympathetic look for a split second, though it was more of a look one might give if he just been told he would have to wait out a nasty cold as opposed to being told he might as well just die to the flowers in his lungs.

Jaekwan had nodded numbly, moving to leave. "Leave that flower here," they said before he left. "We'll at least try to look into it."

"Thank you," he muttered, dropping the folded napkin into an outstretched hand.

He passed by the door to the Hyunmoo Team 1 waiting room one last time before he finally left the building for certain. The lights were off inside, indicating that Grapes had probably left earlier. That's good. He shouldn't be working too late, anyway. He paused there for a moment, staring at the door before finally walking past.

The crisp evening air hit him as he left the Bureau building. Usually, it might have refreshed him, but in the moment the dry air seemed to serve no purpose other than to exacerbate the condition of his already irritated airways. He unzipped his jacket, feeling suffocated. It didn't do much to actually help, but he could at least imagine that it did.

What do I do?

If it wasn't contamination, then just what the hell was it? What kind of thing would cause flowers to suddenly start growing in his lungs? In the best case scenario, he could hope it was just a passing thing, that over time he would cough it all up and that would be the end of it.

The worst case scenario… His hands shook, jaw clenched tight enough to break teeth. In the worst case scenario, this could kill him.

What do I do? The question rung in his head over and over as he made his way back to his place. Autopilot took over as he opened his door, took off his shoes in the doorway, and stared into his kitchen, deciding then that he wasn't really hungry. Rather, he felt much too nauseous to eat, despite knowing that he really hadn't eaten much since far earlier in the day.

Reason told him that he was probably hungry, and that he should eat regardless of whether he felt hungry or not. Emotion told him he should just go to bed. For once, he listened to the latter.

What do I do? Ah, he was too tired to really change. He removed his jacket, hanging it off of the chair at his desk and slipping under his covers after turning his lights off. Painful coughs wracked his body, more flowers spilling out of his mouth and onto his sheets. Instinctively, his body curled up into itself almost protectively. I'm tired. I'll deal with it tomorrow.

…

What do I do?

Was he to tell Choi and Grapes? Was that something he should do? Maybe it was. His teammates should really know of his condition. They could even help him through it, couldn't they? At the very least, they could provide some support, couldn't they?

But then he thought of the bags under Grapes's eyes. Really, he hardly got any sleep as it was, it seemed. Many of his breaks seemed to be spent taking naps in the waiting room. Kim Soleum seemed to have so many worries resting on his shoulders that Jaekwan couldn't possibly bring himself to add to that.

He thought, too, of Choi. His senior had a lot more on his plate than he let on, didn't he? Jaekwan had seen that listless look in his eyes on his smoke breaks every now and again. He'd already been through a lot.

His eyes began slipping shut, breaths somewhat labored but definitely still there. Jaekwan was still alive. He hadn't died yet. In the back of his mind, he decided that, no, his teammates didn't need to know.

…He could deal with this on his own, surely. He couldn't rely on the two of them for everything.

[What's that one saying?] Braun's amused voice cut clear through Soleum's mind. [Ah, that's what it was. He looks like Death himself, doesn't he, Friend?]

Soleum would have liked to disagree, but he found it difficult to actually do so. Not when the description was so accurate. Bronze looked nothing short of awful. His face had taken on a pallid appearance, eye bags heavy beneath his eyes and lips so pale they were almost the same shade as the skin surrounding it.

It was a disconcerting appearance to see on the other agent, who was usually so on top of his physical health. Has he lost weight?

Soleum tapped his fingers on the desk before him, acting like he was reading the paper before him, when in reality he was trying to get a better read on the agent nearby. They hadn't been able to get a single thing out of him over the past week. He wouldn't go home, and they couldn't force him to. He wouldn't share whatever was wrong with him. Hell, he wouldn't even admit that something was wrong in the first place, even when it was so blatantly obvious.

He could tell Choi was starting to get anxious, even through his senior's usually carefully created mask. Every time Soleum looked over at him, he also seemed to be observing Bronze with careful eyes. Whether or not Bronze noticed this, however, was beyond him.

More than that, Choi seemed to be trying to tread a fine line with Bronze. Gently trying to poke and prod for some kind of information (that the other was clearly unwilling to give up) while also trying to make sure that he didn't press too hard, lest the other pull away. Bronze had already been pulling away, clearly. Interactions had decreased until, by now, they were almost all initiated by either Grapes or Choi.

Is he trying to act normal? Soleum wondered. It's not working.

He watched as Bronze stood from his seat and left the room. Without even looking, he was certain that Choi was staring as well. It bothered Soleum how used to the sight he was gradually becoming.

"You know," Choi muttered, clearly trying to sound casual and failing miserably. Soleum turned to look at him. The other agent was leaning back in his chair, staring at a paper in his hands but very obviously not actually reading the damn thing. "I looked into the trash in the bathroom yesterday."

If he'd been told that sentence at any other point in time, under any other circumstances, he would have thought Choi was either insane or a creep. He still wasn't convinced that that wasn't the case, but at the very least he knew that Choi wouldn't have brought it up as Bronze left the room if it wasn't relevant to him.

"You looked into the bathroom?" Soleum asked, prompting Choi to continue. The older agent nodded numbly.

"There were flowers," he continued. "Granted, they were covered up." So you literally stuck your hand into the trashcan to look? He looked at Soleum as though sensing the judgmental look he was being given. Defensively, he said, "I had probable cause. Don't give me that look, Grapes-ie."

Soleum hummed in acknowledgment. "Flowers," he said, once more prompting Choi to continue his thought.

"Do you know your flowers?" Choi asked.

"…Do I need to know my flowers?" Soleum asked in return.

The other agent clicked his tongue. "I guess not. In any case, there were flowers in the trash. Three kinds. I tried looking up what they were but it turns out that reverse image searching isn't helpful when there's a lot of blood." Sorry, blood? Choi continued before Soleum could ask him to back up and explain the blood. "Still, I managed to get something. Hyacinths, forget-me-nots, and nightshade."

"Where are you going with this?"

Choi shrugged. "Forget-me-nots aren't usually poisonous to humans, but hyacinths and nightshades can be."

Soleum blinked. "Do you think he's… poisoning himself?"

"No. Bronze wouldn't do that." Right, because Bronze has been acting normal and in his right mind recently. "It's probably something else. Besides, if he'd been actually eating the damn flowers, they wouldn't be in the trash can, covered in blood, and intact."

Right. Because chewing and digestion were things that existed. "They were whole flowers?"

"Whole flowers," Choi confirmed. "Really, they looked like they'd just been plucked. So the types of flowers don't really matter, I don't think." Then why did you bring it up? "Just… think about it. Because I've been thinking about it and I can't come up with a damn thing."

Choi had been out of sorts all day. It made sense if he had just been spending the whole time agonizing over this. Soleum chewed at his lip for a moment, seeing if maybe he could piece things together on his end. It's not contamination. Braun had already confirmed that a week ago when they had initially listened in on Bronze in the bathroom. So what is it?

[Should I give you a hint, Friend? Though I wonder if it isn't too late for one.]

Right. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. The stuffed pink bunny in his chest pocket hadn't moved in the slightest, but he could almost still feel Braun's eyes on him. His mind lingered on the words for a moment. Too late? he thought, dread settling at the bottom of his stomach. He took a shaky breath. Okay. I'll take the hint.

[Well, it's quite the emotional subject matter. Perhaps our friend is feeling quite left out.]

Left out? The weird emphasis on emotional… He knitted his eyebrows together, but his mind was still drawing blanks. While he wanted to ask, he got the feeling that Braun wasn't going to provide him with anything more. The host didn't seem to like providing too much help, in any case. It was frustrating, often dangerous at worst, but Soleum had long since gotten used to it.

What about feeling left out would lead to this?

"…I'll get back to you," he told Choi. "I'm drawing a blank."

Choi sighed tiredly. He didn't seem surprised but there was definitely some amount of disappointment laced in there. "That's alright. Two heads are better than one."

Choi went out for a smoke break. He leaned against the wall, pinching a cigarette between his index and middle fingers and bringing it to his lips before lighting it. The stench of cigarette smoke filled the space before him, but his nose had long since grown accustomed to it.

"That's not a good thing," he could imagine Bronze pointing out, eyebrows furrowed with such genuine concern that Choi would feel nearly overwhelmed by it. Too good of a guy for this line of work, he thought, though he also supposed that that was what made him perfect for the job. Too good for what's happening to him.

If there was one thing Choi could appreciate about Bronze, it was that he was so honest most of the time, unlike Grapes. Unlike himself. When he lied, it was at least obvious that he was lying.

What had Choi absolutely stumped was Bronze's insistence on keeping this– whatever this was– quiet. What was it that was making him feel like he couldn't share his condition with their team? With Choi?

Ash fell from the tip of his cigarette, landing on the ground before him. Does the reason why even matter?

Part of him considered leaving it alone. If Bronze wanted to keep a secret, then maybe Choi should let him. It wasn't as though he didn't have his fair share of skeletons in the closet, anyway. Things he hadn't shared with the junior agent. Bronze wasn't obligated to tell him everything, especially when Choi seldom deigned to tell him any information that wasn't immediately important. A mistake on his part, he supposed, when the whole thing was blowing up quite spectacularly in his face.

Ah. Before he knew it, the first cigarette was gone. He took another out, lighting it in a similar manner and bringing it to his lips. The reasons do matter, he concluded. If it was due to a mistake on Choi's part, then he'd have to find a way to rectify his errors. It especially mattered in such a situation, when Bronze didn't even feel comfortable enough with either of them to admit his health was failing.

I wouldn't even care if he shared it with Kim Soleum and not me, he thought. I just wish he would say something. Because at the rate things were going…

What a delicate situation. Choi would have loved nothing more than to try and force the answers out, but that wasn't something he could do. Not without ruining Bronze's trust in him forever, although at this point he figured that was probably out the window, too. No point in making things worse.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a small bag with a carefully folded napkin within. The napkin was dotted with blood, what was once a crimson red now having dried to a duller, more brown color. Keeping in mind the position of the cigarette in his fingers, he opened the bag and carefully removed the napkin, unfolding it to reveal the assortment of flowers within.

Picking through the bathroom trash had been gross, something he wished he could avoid in the future, but he hadn't been lying when he told Kim Soleum that he'd had probable cause to do so. He stared at the flowers, still stuck trying to click them into place on the huge puzzle board that Agent Bronze had become.

What kind of disease would cause someone to cough up flowers? Choi had only seen it for a split second, a slip-up on Bronze's end when he had clearly been caught off guard. A hint of green, purple, and crimson red as he coughed into a handkerchief before immediately getting up and leaving the room. That had given him the idea to scour the trash, and he found himself disturbed why what he uncovered.

Flowers? Of all things?

He'd deigned to look up the floriography of the damn things, too. Just in the hopes that he could find a lead towards something, as if the flowers in Bronze's lungs would also be the key to his heart and mind.

But he didn't get anywhere with that. Or maybe he did, and he just didn't like what he found enough to regard it as a possibility.

Purple hyacinths, to signify a deep regret or sorrow, used to ask for forgiveness. Nightshades representing danger and secrecy. Already, these two were a disconcerting combination, but what bothered him the most were the small bundles of blue flowers, the forget-me-nots.

Flowers meant to symbolize love and remembrance, often used to honor dead loved ones. He clenched his jaw, frustration surging through him. Bronze isn't dead, he thought. Unreasonably so, because obviously he wasn't. Choi had just seen him a few moments ago. So why in hell are these damn things showing up?

Maybe he was just overthinking things. The universe or whatever powers that be could have just spun a wheel and just so happened to land on those three flowers to afflict his junior with. He could hope that to be the case, but was there truly such a thing as a coincidence in the world?

Quickly, he shoved the napkin into his pocket as the door near him opened and someone stepped through. Choi turned his head to look, finding Bronze there. He immediately put his cigarette out. Shouldn't smoke near him, especially right now.

"Fancy seeing you here, Bronze-ie," Choi said. Despite his usually strong stature, Bronze looked like he would knock over with the slightest wind. It was a disconcerting look on him. "Needed to get some air?"

Bronze hummed noncommittally. "I'm going home early," he replied simply. Part of Choi wanted to say finally, you should have gone home a long time ago, but another part of him wondered… Just how bad had it gotten for Bronze to finally throw in the towel?

Choi paused, hesitating for a moment. "Do you–" Ah, the words were leaving him. "Should I walk you back? Make sure you get there safely?"

Bronze's eyes tightened slightly. Choi must have overstepped. "That's not necessary. I don't want to trouble you any more, Agent." Any more? What an odd choice of words. His eyes trailed down to the remains of the cigarette in Choi's hand. "…You should take better care of your health."

Funny thing for you to say right now, Choi thought, frustration bubbling up in his chest that he wisely shoved down before it could make its way to his mouth. He didn't want to say something he didn't mean. Especially not when Bronze's words seemed to come from a place of genuine care. Have you looked in the mirror recently? Worry about yourself before you worry about me.

"Well, you know how it is," Choi said with a casual shrug. Bronze seemed to consider his words for a moment before nodding. Odd. So odd. This is wrong.

"I'll be off, then," Bronze said finally, beginning to walk away. Choi felt the strong urge to call him back.

"Ah, Bronze-ie, wait." The other agent turned around, giving him a questioning look. But what had Choi been about to say? For some reason, his mind decided to blank on him right at the worst moment. Bronze's eyebrows furrowed in concern, and he seemed like he was about to say something before Choi finally managed to bring something forth. "No, nevermind. It's nothing. Take care of yourself, alright? Get a lot of rest."

Bronze's eyes widened for just a split second before a strained smile came upon his face. "I will," he said. "Thank you, senior."

Choi watched him walk off. He continued to watch until the other agent was out of sight, resisting the strong urge to run after him and shake all of the answers he wanted out of him. His fingers drummed against the side of his pants anxiously. Why did that sound like a goodbye?

He turned around, walking back into the building. He hoped that he was just overthinking things. Right, some rest would serve him well.

Agent Bronze didn't show up the next day.

At the very least, he did send a message in advance informing them that he wouldn't be there. Soleum had taken that for what it was, a sign that at least Bronze was trying to recover from whatever ailed him. Choi had seemed less comforted by this.

"Let's at least give him today," Soleum suggested. "He can't rest properly if we're bothering him, Agent."

Choi looked like he had more he wanted to say to that, but he refrained from doing so. Instead, he just nodded in assent, leaning back in his chair. "Let's do that then, Grapes-ie."

Don't sound too upset about it, Soleum thought wryly. You might reveal how you actually feel.

He'd probably be the first to admit that the waiting room felt far more empty and tense without Bronze there. Even with his condition, the place just felt warmer when he was around. Now that he was gone, even if it was just for the day, there was something unsettling about being in there.

Soleum was pretty certain at this point that Choi had moved past whatever conflict they'd had prior. There were bigger issues in the room at the time, anyway.

But the source of those "bigger issues" was now gone, so there came to be an awkward air once more. Whether it was Bronze's absence that was causing it or earlier unresolved tension, he couldn't tell. Maybe it was both. Soleum tried to direct his attention elsewhere.

He'd still had no luck figuring out what was afflicting Bronze. Over the night, he'd attempted to do a deep dive into the internet but he'd found nothing of use. Then again, if something like this was more commonplace then it probably would have long since been resolved. Maybe everything would have been back to normal by now.

He ignored the pang of guilt in his chest. At least, he tried his best to, but the attempt wasn't very successful.

He glanced at Choi for a split second before returning his eyes to the screen before him. Choi seemed just as distracted as he felt. Already, he could tell that they weren't going to get much done that day.

Soleum let out a sigh, pushing his glasses up for a moment to pinch the bridge of his nose before allowing them to drop once more. Okay. Let's try to be productive.

…

Bronze didn't show up for another day. This time, there was no message in advance. Soleum could pretty quickly tell that Choi was running thin on patience. He couldn't deny that he was feeling the same way, but there was still an ounce of hesitation left in him.

"Let's go check on him," Choi declared, hands flat on the desk that he stood over. There was an anxious energy about him that wasn't exactly visible by any means but was still radiating off of him in waves. It was especially clear in the way he spoke. "I just– I really can't leave this alone right now, Grapes-ie. It's not like him to not at least let us know that he won't be in."

Soleum agreed. Soleum agreed wholeheartedly. But that hesitation just kept gnawing away at any resolve he had. He swallowed thickly. "He could be asleep. It's still the beginning of the day. Maybe we should give it an hour?" The suggestion was weak, and if Choi could tell that his heart wasn't entirely in it, he didn't say anything.

Choi hesitated for a moment before opening his mouth to speak.