Chapter Text
If you had told Harry that a year ago he would be living with his most hated professor, willingly spending time with said professor, and actually enjoying his presence, he would have laughed in your face and told you that you were as crazy as a blast-ended skrewt. Now though? Now, the only thing he could say about it is “Well, duh? That’s what happens when you get adopted”.
Yes, you read that right. Adopted.
He was surprised when it happened, too.
3 months after the adoption went through, a month into his fourth year at Hogwarts and a week away from the first Hogsmeade trip of the school year, Harry finds himself preparing for the disappointment that comes from being told “No”. You’d think he’d be used to it by now after spending the last six months being told “No” to practically everything.
No, he can’t leave the perimeters the wards are set to.
No, he can’t stop taking his nutrition potion no matter how badly it tastes.
No, he can’t visit his friends unless absolutely necessary, which is never.
No, he can’t do anything until the school year starts and he can have the protection of Dumbledore and Hogwarts both if he wants to make it through the school year unscathed.
No, he can’t do anything that isn’t homework or boring mental exercises for his occlumency lessons.
So yeah, Harry is expecting the refusal from his guardian but that doesn’t make him frustrated any less.
“I said no, Harry.” Severus denies once again. He’s stirring a foul-smelling potion that Harry doesn't want to know about, calm and collected and utterly infuriating.
Groaning, Harry flops onto the only other chair in Severus’s personal potions lab. He’s careful not to let it bump into anything while he does so. He flings his hand dramatically up to his forehead in an imitation of Draco (who Snape has also adopted, can you believe it?) during one of his more theatrical moments.
“You’ve killed me. I’m dead. Look what you’ve done!” he says as flatly as he can. He opens one eye to look at his guardian. Severus hasn’t even looked up from his task, too focused on cutting something dry and brittle as carefully as he can.
“Desist from the dramatics. You are to stay here while the rest of Hogwarts skips merrily through Hodsmeade." He says with a slight sneer. Harry knows exactly how Snape feels about going to Hogsmeade.
"You may even have time to finish the Muggle Studies essay I know you haven’t completed yet.” Severus raises one eyebrow in Harry’s direction at the mention of his unfinished essay and Harry shrinks back in the chair a little bit, laughing thinly.
“I think I’ll be able to finish it within the next hour if you let me go to Hogsmeade next weekend. Maybe I'll finish it even sooner than that and you’ll come with me?” Harry says, proud of himself for the bargain and also knowing what Severus will say next.
“You’ll finish the essay regardless or I'll have you gutting flobberworms for the next two weeks.”
Harry deflates, sighing dejectedly as he slumps back into the chair.
“You never let me have any fun…” He complains and crosses his arms in a show of childish behavior as he feels the beginnings of anger, and a little bit of sadness, bubble in his chest.
Somehow sensing this (he still doesn’t understand how Severus just knows what Harry is feeling), Severus sets his knife down and taps his wand against the boiling cauldron to put the potion into stasis. He glides over to where Harry is sitting and kneels down in front of him so that they’re at eye level.
Harry pointedly looks at his hands as he avoids his guardian's gaze but looks up in surprise when Snape takes both of his hands into his larger ones. His eyes are softened just a little and Harry feels his anger evaporating as a feeling of unfairness flares in his gut.
“Harry, you know why you can’t go. It’s too dangerous. You could be hurt, or kidnapped, or even killed if you travel outside of the castle. This is not up for debate. You are to stay here where you will be safe.” Severus emphasizes with a gentle squeeze of his hands.
Harry feels his eyes well up with tears at the action even though this is something they had done before plenty of times. It’s usually in times like this when Harry feels overwhelmed or anxious and needs a steady touch to ground him.
“But you could go with me and I would be safe then, wouldn't I?” He asks a little desperately, hopefully, and is crushed when Snape only shakes his head.
“You know I cannot. I am needed here, you know this. We cannot be seen together unless we want to risk the Dark Lord finding out about you. My cover would be compromised and he would use me to get to you, with torture or other ways I know not. I will never willingly let you come to harm like that.”
The feeling of unfairness swells up and he has to stop himself from openly crying, especially when Snape lets go of one of his hands to cup his cheek with his warm palm.
“Harry-”
“It’s just not fair. Everyone else gets to go, but of course not me, right? Harry Potter can’t go on a simple Hogsmeade trip without getting himself or his friends hurt, or worse, right? How typical.” He spits the words like venom and lets a few tears escape as he closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to see the pity in Snape’s eyes.
He nearly yelps in surprise when he’s pulled forward by his hands into a hug. He automatically wraps his arms around his guardian and relaxes into the hug when Severus cups the back of his head to pull it into the crook of his shoulder Harry feels more tears escape and has to hold back a sob at the tender gesture which is so rare from Severus that every time it does happen, Harry commits it to memory and stores it deep in his mind.
“I apologise, Harry. This is the way things have to be so that you will stay safe and more importantly, stay alive.” Severus murmurs as he cards his fingers through Harry’s hair in an act of parental affection so often lacking in Harry’s life.
“I just want to feel normal, just for one day.” he sobs into the older man's shoulder, feeling hopeless and frustrated all at once.
“I know. One day you will. I swear it.” Severus promises, and Harry can do nothing but believe in him.