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Repeatedly attempting to explain RBD gave him a lot of heart pain and what must be muscle damage since he's shaking all over, but...
It didn't give him much of anything in the way of talking to the major asshole holding him hostage.
And how many times is he gonna talk to this fucking appa man, Kadomon? Not even Subaru can be so endlessly patient, here. There comes a time in everyone's life where a face becomes very punchable, even if the face's owner had done nothing to deserve it.
Subaru exhales dramatically with a flourish, flipping his short hair with stylish muscle memory. He's not feeling any better, he just can't help it, it's one of his new little quirks he's relied on to stay sane. Even when other people seem to enjoy playing practical jokes at his expense, acting like they hadn't been talking about something just yesterday (acting like he'd grown a second head (or needed mental help--ha!)) and it was in fact Subaru who was in the wrong, well--
--The more things he changed, the more he could cling to and say, "See? I'm not crazy! I really did wear my red coat yesterday!"
As the only one to remember things, having people act like he was forgetting things or--or going crazy--!
Haha.
...He has to go through it all again.
'Fuck my whole fucking--'
"Any pickpocketing incidents???" Subaru grits out, acting like pulling the skin around his lips so far back the gums are showing would endear him in any way to Kadomon. The man, predictably, so predictably, reacts like Subaru is trash someone had left lying around.
"Haah?? Don't treat me like some information broker, are you--?!"
'Buying an appa, or not?!'
It's not like Kadomon has a reason to like him anymore. No, it's fine.
"Whatever."
Subaru just doesn't have time to waste on him, anyway. What script? Why would he bother? He walks away and ignores the man's annoyed tsk without trying, mind already onto the next problem.
Loot house. Elsa. Felt.
Emilia-tan.
...
C'mon, Emilia-tan! Emilia-tan! Do it for her, right??
There is no getting out of saving them, that's for sure. He would never live with the guilt, or live in general, (thank you once again Puck), and even if Satella wants Emilia-tan dead he's not going to accept that ultimatum. Whatever he's changing, tonight's set in stone.
Save Emilia. Like always. Her loyal knight to the rescue.
'She won't know who I am. She won't care about me anymore. She doesn't have a reason to care unless I save her life, it's not like I matter to her--'
What helpless, pathetic, slothful, despairing thoughts! What else is he supposed to feel like, right now? Is he supposed to jump for joy at the thought of meeting her again? Exchanging names, again? Acting like it doesn't hurt when she evaluates him for trustworthiness, and acts distant as if he would ever hurt her?
Not like he could step within 5 feet of Rem, either, not with these Authorities he's illogically smuggled through time, cramping his already stunted ability to reconnect!!
What fresh hell awaits him! If doing it once was bad already, how many times--?!
'Enough. Just. Get Reinhard and make your way to the Loot House... and stop complaining. Think of a plan.'
He had little hope for said plan, but whatever! Maybe seeing Felt again would cheer up his mood, it's not like he'd been around her enough that he'd so consistently incur looks of concern!
It's not even that bad. It's not like it's bad to be around them. He's complaining about nothing. Everyday is a joy with them so why is he acting like it'd be some huge burden?
He's just tired.
Emilia politely knocks on the unfamiliar door, and waits to see if she'll be let in. The spirits have led her here, to the location that thieving girl had fled to. The sun's setting on her last chance to retrieve her insignia, and if it gets too dark, she won't have Puck to look out for her.
There's no answer yet, but she tries not to feel impatient. Perhaps she'll need to knock again in a second?
"Hi, Emilia."
She jumps so hard the wood cracks beneath her feet. She has to duck her head away from the patio roof to avoid a concussion, and once back on the ground she whirls to spot the unknown voice.
He's a few inches taller than her, uncommon black hair trimmed short and unruly. The look in his sketchy and young eyes is almost normal, and he appears laid-back in his unusual garments. The fact he didn't even flinch at her violent reaction doesn't do anything for her heart, though.
"What--?! Where did you come from?! How--how long were you standing there?!"
And how did he know her name? But that's not all, is he related to that thief? What does he want from her?! Her mana trembles and then focuses into an unseen blade ready to be drawn in an instant.
It's barely there, but a flash of a smile graces his face, and it makes him seem kind, even if withdrawn. Then it's gone like the wind, replaced with what Emilia is hesitantly assuming must be an extreme lack of care directed at her.
"I just got here. It's nice to meet you."
So tired. Like he's already done with her, with everything.
"Meet me? What--you--... why... why did you want to meet me...?"
She backs away a little. The mana between her fingers is at a razor sharp coolness, begging to be unleashed, but kept tightly locked down. He's scaring her, but that's no reason to hurt him, as long as that's all this is going to be.
He doesn't quite sigh, he only releases his breath without releasing any kind of tension. So tense, but not tense at all, calm and yet so clearly wrong.
"You lost your insignia. I would never leave you without any help."
More information he knows about her, and not a single shred for her to know about him! There's too much at stake for her to take any more of this!
On cue, Puck untangles from her hair. His tail bats the air furiously.
"And? What makes you so certain we even need your help?" He lays each word out with barely disguised venom. His mana, like hers, is ready to react.
"Elsa Granhiert will kill you if I don't act."
They both freeze.
He finally releases a proper sigh, and cuts through the tension with what he actually wanted to say from the start,
"I know because I can see the future. It's nice to meet you."
The repeated nicety at the end is doing nothing for the tension at all!!
Puck?
Not lying. Lying. Whatever his deal is, he has to be INSANE! Where did he even come from?!
Emilia startles at the waves of hatred coming from Puck. She keeps her eyes locked on the mysterious young boy who proclaimed her upcoming death while her father bristles in her mind and on her shoulder.
Subaru doesn't enjoy any of this, but subjecting Emilia-tan to unneeded fear doesn't snap him out of it, either. All his mind can think about is how little he wants to do this anymore. It's his fault for being despicable enough to lash out like this, and it's his fault he's not stopping after realising that, too.
His fault. His fault. Somewhere, in all of this, he's been fucking up from the start.
Something's very wrong with him, Lia. I'll get rid of him, you need to confront that thief before sundown!
Emilia, too scared and uncertain, lets herself be comforted by Puck's decisive words. He seems to know what to do here.
"Now, I don't know what your problem is, but future-seeing or not, you're in our way." Several crystals shimmer into life above the group as Puck sneers, "Get lost, or face punishment."
He should probably be feeling something about that threat. He really should.
Puck growls. 'This guy's not even affected?!'
"Leave."
A single crystal is lobbed by the man's neck, drawing blood. He doesn't even flinch. The pain tries to tempt his state of mind to focus on the stinging present. Unfortunately for everyone involved, it's not enough to snap him out of it.
Emilia startles, even though he won't.
Puck, is he trying to hurt me? Why are we--
I don't know! He's not malicious, but he's not in his right mind! Who knows what he intends to do?!
Her father's calculating response only makes her want to confirm for sure if hurting him is the right thing to do. Even if he's scaring her, he's barely moved or reacted, and he's not her target either way!
"I--I'm sorry--! You said you can see the future--but--!"
For some reason, her mentioning that gets the possible madman to react with something more than idle apathy. His eyes shine for a second, meeting her frightened ones.
"--but! But why--...! Why would your future involve me? Please, I don't want to hurt you... why are you so insistent...?!""
"I've never told you this before, but..."
Whatever he was going to say with that oddly open expression ends up dying on his lips. He swallows, and smiles a lot less honestly, "I care about you. And I'll do anything for you. And you don't have to like me back or anything, I'm more suspicious than ever, right--yeah, yeah, more suspicious than you can imagine. Some idiotic guy comes around stalking you and then confesses his love, no duh. Some lunatic, right?"
At the stalking line, Puck actually hisses and more crystals emerge, but none of them are fired.
And the man still doesn't react.
All while Emilia feels like she's been rapidly descending a staircase two to three uncoordinated steps at a time. Her mind is nowhere close to catching up. The only thing she can settle on is that this man is so lonely, he'd ramble to a silver-haired half-elf about his problems and act like she's... lovable.
"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I'll help you, I will always help you. But I just don't know if I can... If all I can do is curse this world to--..."
His voice hitches before he can finish his sentence, but she can't tell if it's because he didn't want to say it, or if the pain in his heart was just too much to bear. The grief he's carrying... she could hear the tears building up in his voice before any of them fall.
"I'm sorry for what you're dealing with." She tries, genuinely attempting to bridge this world-sized gap between them despite standing a few feet apart, "I don't, or rather I can't know what it is that's troubling you. I... I don't have time to help you, or anything."
She wanted to end off on something a little better, but the sun isn't getting any higher in the sky. Nobody's answered the door, either.
Lia, don't waste your time on him. If he won't leave, if he continues to threaten you, then we have no choice.
Emilia can be naive, and foolish, but right now she can't bear to simply accept such an easy answer. She doesn't have any time to waste on him, but she couldn't avert her eyes now that he's broken down crying and in pain.
I don't know what he's doing, but he doesn't deserve to be hurt for this.
Puck, irritable and on edge, pulses with disagreement, but the only move he makes is to micro-adjust the crystals for an immediate counterattack. Emilia breathes in and out, trying to throw on a coat of confidence.
"Would you tell me your name?" She asks.
"Natsuki--...no."
A brief beat of confusion, as she blinks. Then, he limply positions one of his fingers to point to the sky, and scoffs at himself.
"I'm Natsuki Subaru. I'm your..." He lowers his eyes, "...well, I'm your stalker, Emilia-tan. I've fallen to a new low." He laughs under his breath, hand already falling from the nonsensical and half-hearted pose, "I know all about you and you know nothing about me, and it seems that's all we can be to each other now."
"Please... could you stop speaking in riddles, and tell me what's really going on?" Emilia begs, eyes glancing to each of the dangerous spikes ready to tear him apart in an instant. If he could please just calm down a little, and clearly state what he wants, she and her father could stop expecting horrible things of him! The energy coiling at her fingertips could be allowed to dissipate harmlessly!
He nearly, bluntly, just says no. That's how he knows he's still not acting like himself. What's his fucking problem? Can't he do one thing right?
"...Like I said." Subaru lifts his eyes to meet hers, "I can see the future. Far, far into the future. I know your name, I know what you want, I know all these things you wouldn't want someone like me to know and I'm sorry, but I'm just rude like that." His mouth tastes like ashes, "I didn't ask for your permission, and I didn't consider your feelings. What's more, I failed to prioritize what you actually want right now: Your insignia. Someone like me... I have to boldly claim it all, I'm a moron who expects to be treated kindly anyway. Somewhere in your big heart, you'll just have to make room for me, because I'm begging so desperately, and you should save me like always."
...What...
Emilia frowns and ignores Puck, ticked off about several things this shady kid just rambled on and on about!
"First of all, if you can see the future, and it pertains to me, then... How would you have been able to ask me for permission before seeing any of it?"
"...I--"
"No, if you know so much about me, why would you even act like this? You're not saying the whole deal--somehow, even though you've said a lot of things, none of it's what really matters, is it?!"
"...Everything I just said matters, Emilia-tan."
"Not in the way that counts! Not when you're begging for someone to care for you!"
She still doesn't know what the '-tan' means, but she can recognize that aching agony in another.
Subaru's mouth grimaces, even if he doesn't feel much of anything at all. He's not certain if he's truly been begging or not, but he's definitely been shameless. And, really, wanting 'to be cared for?' She says the truth so succinctly, that he's lost everyone who he could once call a friend. What's left to care for, anyway? He stopped being the Natsuki Subaru that had anything left to maintain honest bonds.
He couldn't be that version of himself anymore. He couldn't lie to them again and again. What's a gamble to him now, when playing it 'correctly' has gotten him no closer to freedom?
He's seen that future already.
"I got to know you... in the future, Emilia-tan." Still with the shameless nickname, pasting over this version of her with the ideal one in his mind, "My visions feel real. I've felt like I've spent years with you. I can't lie about it. I won't."
This tightrope he walks on will sooner strangle him on the way down than ever be of any use to him. Satella...!!
Don't trust him.
Emilia flinches, caught off guard by her father's suddenly tense voice. He hadn't disappeared, or gone quiet out of respect. No, his boiling over revilement and suspicion simply reached its natural course.
But--?! Is he lying? Is it all a ruse?
...How much can I even... Can 'no' even properly convey how mad he is? Lia, please.
She doesn't know what to make of that. If he were solely lying, or solely telling the truth, then Puck wouldn't be so vague. Woven into the absurd, reality-altering ramblings were lies so twisted with the truth that the whole story is crumpling from the strain. Emilia isn't smart enough, or practiced enough, or willing to begin de-tangling it, so she decides it doesn't matter what's true and not, because even now, she still only knows one thing for certain.
"I think you're going to be disappointed. Even if you're here to save me, and to try to enter my life, I don't think I'm what you're seeing. The version of me in your visions can't be accurate."
Because if it is, that means she makes a friend? Someone as suspicious as him would genuinely enjoy her company? She's convinced he's lonely, but she's not convinced she could solve that for him, and she doesn't want to lead him on at all, not when she knows what that betrayal feels like.
She's prepared to continue distancing herself from his idea of her, but he's smiling for some reason.
'The version of me that lives within you must be amazing.'
It's not a good memory, but it's bittersweet now in this context.
"Yeah. That's okay. I know you won't be the same." He leans forward in a slouch, gaze travelling to the door that has remained staunchly unopened despite their loud discussion just outside. With a more fragile smile, he acknowledges the crystals threatening his life for the first time, "Can I still help you? Even if you don't trust me? I promise it's because I don't want anything bad to happen to you."
He has such a lofty impression of her despite never meeting, but he acknowledges it... and even now, he's ignoring the blood trailing down his neck in favour of assisting her. Her heart pangs with sympathy for him. She can't bear to keep the mana at her fingertips ready.
Puck?
....ngghh....!! This... foolish madman...!!
Wow, she hasn't felt Puck this mad in ages. In fact, the memory of when he was this mad is blurry! She must have been really young then.
Is he saying the truth?
The young boy waits patiently, not moving an inch. Even though their stand-off has stalled into an awkward silence, he's not restlessly anticipating her response. With everything he's said, Emilia can only assume he knows what she's doing: Asking Puck.
...No...no, Lia, just--it doesn't matter what the truth is here, I'm telling you we just need to get rid of him.
Puck...
Don't give me that tone, you feel sorry for him because you can't feel his mind. It's a travesty in there. Whatever help he thinks he's giving, it's not as simple as your insignia! I... I can't tell you what you should do, but as your father I highly recommend that you keep him far away from you!
But if it's all true, then, isn't he going through a lot? Didn't he just experience years of the future, a future, with me?
She blushes at her own phrasing.
I mean--! That is, he may not have been that close, obviously, but he clearly--um, doesn't he somehow care about me? Isn't that why you haven't hurt him further?
Lia... he's not...
It's not enjoyable at all for her to disobey Puck's advice.
I... I have to know.
...
Emilia waits in tense silence. The strange man, no, Natsuki he said his name was, continues to stand there lost in his own thoughts. He hasn't even asked her if she heard his question or not. He really... does... act like he knows her...
...Nothing I say is gonna change this, is it? Fine.
The Puck on her shoulder growls at Natsuki.
"You're a real piece of work, y'know that?" He snaps, and Emilia flinches one more time, "But even I can't go against my daughter's wishes. You've got one chance, Natsuki Subaru. One. You blow it, there won't be any more prattling about future this, future that, because you're not going to see the future if--"
"I'll take it!" Natsuki beams at the two of them, seemingly unaware of just how enraged the Great Spirit is yet interrupting him with perfect timing, "You can count on me! Nothing's going to happen to your daughter if I'm around to protect her!" He finishes his out of character declaration with a dramatic thumb to his chest.
"You brat. She doesn't need your protection, not after you--!" Puck bites down on his lip.
--wasted our time, burning through the last few minutes I had to keep her safe!! This is all your plan, isn't it?!
Subaru most certainly had a plan, and none of it is turning out correctly thanks to his own rude behaviour. But he isn't going to allude to any of that in front of his new #1 hater.
'We used to get along so well, too...'
He couldn't genuinely say that he had no ulterior motives for meeting her, nor could he say he's on a level playing field with them, nor anything that would really reassure Puck. It's always going to be like this from now on. He just ripped off the bandage without any tact or gentleness.
"...Well, I'm sorry for wasting so much of your time," He is. He really is sorry. Puck won't let this go easily, not at all, and he didn't deserve to be forced to trust some stranger, "Together, we'll get the insignia, and no one will be dying to Elsa today."
Out of options and already losing tangibility, Puck raves and hisses at him, "If anything, it's your fault if anyone dies today! You got that?! If my daughter is hurt because of you, there will be HELL TO PAY!!"
"I know." He calmly tells Puck, "I've seen that future, too."
"Y-you--!!"
"Puck..." She softly whispers at him. His puffed up fur doesn't calm down even when he turns to look at her, "I'm sorry."
"...! N-no, I... I should've...!" Puck trails off, head drooping.
"It's going to be okay. He's going to protect me, right?" Emilia swallows, reaching her hand to caress his cheek until it's soft again, "So you can sleep. It'll be okay."
Her father looks the very picture of heartbroken. She never wanted to see him like this. Even though Natsuki claimed to be sorry to waste time, she can't help but hold it against him for making Puck feel so scared for her.
"If anything happens, please... you know what to do."
With those final words for tonight, Puck disappears into a shimmer through her fingers. Her hand tightens into a fist. She couldn't hold onto him, she never could.
"..."
"..."
"I'm sorry."
She reluctantly raises her eyes. She doesn't want to ignore him, or the bloodthirsty crystals that disappeared with Puck, but the regret for standing her ground is pulling at her heart.
He's lost the last of the energy he'd gained back moments ago. With tired eyes that she can't read, he repeats himself, "I'm sorry."
"...If you're sorry, it can start with retrieving what I lost." She states, or rather demands, "I don't know you, even if you know me. So, from here on, if you want me to trust you, then no more lying."
"...can't promise that..."
"No." Emilia snaps, not accepting his outrageous mumbling, "No lying. I don't want you to get hurt, and from what I can tell, you seem like a reckless buffoon. I know all of this is about protecting me right now, but after you scared Puck, I'm starting to think you need protection, too!"
He gapes at her.
"No lying, tell me everything!"
"I--I have years of--I can't tell you all of it?!"
"That sounds like an excuse to me!"
"It's not?! I couldn't even if I--! Emilia-tan--"
"Starting with that, right there!"
"With what...?"
"The -tan!" She pouts, stomping her foot with a little more force than necessary. He's getting on her nerves with all of his shady lack of tact, "What does the -tan mean?!"
"I--!" Natsuki breaks into nervous laughter, then it transitions into actual laughter, "It's a little nickname, it means I care about you!"
"No lying!!"
She stomps her foot one more time for good measure, sighing aggressively at the absurdity of all. A nickname, too?
"...no lying."
It's not that she doesn't believe him, but...
"Why do you care?"
"Emilia..."
She glares at his pathetic and vulnerable expression, "What I mean by no lying is no hiding the truth, either. What are you to me in the future? What does this foreseen world look like, to you? Why would you--..."
"--I mean..."
"--I'm..."
She's not going to cry here. Everything today has simply been a lot to handle, but she's grown up. Between the kid and her, she's not going to break down like he did. Maybe he needs her to stay strong, too.
"I'm a half-elf, you fool..."
Natsuki shakes his head and chuckles. Then, his already strange reaction doubles down again into laughter, hysterical laughter.
Emilia almost feels afraid for a moment, but that instinctual reaction cools into bitterness at him seemingly not taking her seriously. Her already legendary pouts may not stand up to her next one. She leers her eyes in preparation.
"What's wrong with you?" The pointed barb slips out without much thought. It makes him laugh harder.
He has to laugh here, because the other option is screaming. That would definitely scare her off.
She's asking if he cares about her lineage. No, surprisingly enough, after years at her side following along like a baby duckling he has never once developed any hatred towards her race. The easy answer would be to say just that, and end off this overly long and horrible first meeting, but he doesn't want to reduce his feelings to something so basic. He doesn't want to scare her off, either, but frankly if everything he's done so far hasn't scared her, what will?
He's still not in his right mind, clearly, because maybe he'd start with something simple and easy to understand. But she wants the truth.
"You saved me." His words come out gravelly from how bad he's been laughing, "You saved me, and you'll never remember it. My first day, you... it could've been anyone, but you're just..."
"I...?"
"You're just so kind. I want to be with you, forever. No matter what."
He doesn't say 'I love you' upfront, because if he really did love her, then so much would be different right now. It's a selfish desire he has, to stay by someone who makes him happy, without doing his best to make her happy in return.
Emilia can't even begin to dispute any of that! If she doesn't even remember saving him, then it's not like she can reject how he feels!
"That's so unfair. You're being so unfair to me. Why...?"
"Don't ask questions you don't want answered yet."
"But I do... I need to know--"
"Then, don't ask questions you can't accept the answer of."
"Even now, you're--!" She lets out a scream of aggravation, "I can't accept this! I can accept you knowing about me, but not when you're not letting me know you, as well!" She sniffles, "Natsuki Subaru, you're a complete idiot! It's becoming abundantly clear to me now, that you're not just reckless, you have no regard for your own life! I saved you, once, and because of that you'd follow me forever?"
She's so distant with him, all formal, and yet concerned!! She shouldn't be worried about him yet!!
"Yeah! I know I'm an idiot, it's not--"
"You stood in front of me, willingly risking that me or my father might hurt or--or kill you, and all you have to say is that you care?"
"I--! Because it's the truth, Emilia-tan! I care so much--"
"Then shut up and let someone else care about you, too!" She seethes, already regretting that her poor father had to meet this boy while he's so out of his mind, "I don't want you to ever be hurt by me! I don't know you enough, I--I can't predict how you'll act, or anything, like you can with me, so--so it's just so hurtful that you'd let me hurt you!! If you care about me, then act like it!! I don't want--... I don't want my... my f-first friend to be someone who..."
She sobs, unable to hold it off anymore. Why is he so unreasonable?
"...who would just accept pain, and scorn, and act like I should hurt him...!"
"What?!"
"Be quiet, Natsuki Subaru."
Subaru flaps his lips uselessly.
She pulls herself together and wipes her tears, so she can get this through his backwards head.
"You've made your point. And... I-I doubt I could really convince you to leave for your own good, either."
'Yeah, no, not a chance in hell.' Subaru grimly thinks to himself. 'I've fucked everything up and I still want to share these painful feelings with you. I've never been this honest with you before.'
Not since the tower, anyway.
"If you're so determined to help me, and you're s-so convinced that I could never understand you, then I will allow your help under one condition."
Even though he's off-kilter just like she is, he doesn't jump to try and receive her approval, not when it comes with a condition. He's selfish enough with his hands tied that he can't accept just any of them, so he swallows nervously and waits.
Those purple eyes of hers, witnessing him so suspicious and unlike himself... he wishes he had known this version of her well enough to be certain if she's about to throw him away.
"Every promise you make to me, you have to uphold." She states firmly, then continues, "You cannot lie."
He only blinks for a moment, "That's two conditions," he points out.
"No," Emilia shakes her head, "it's not. You will swear to me to follow this, and whenever you swear to me again, you must uphold your word. You must be honest to me. I will accept nothing less than complete and utter sincerity from you, if you expect me to let you anywhere near me!"
A suspicious, suspicious boy, and a half-elf who's already hurt him.
She won't accept hurting him anymore, and she won't accept him hurting her again, either. Puck's already been caught in the crossfire.
She needs to get her insignia already, but she's not a fool who won't accept help when 'Elsa Granhiert' may just take her life without his support.
There's nothing else to ask for.
So what's going on in his head, now? Why's he so surprised? For someone who can see the future, he's been so caught off guard by everything she's said that it's really ruining that untouchable aura he had at first. If he knows her so well, why's her behaviour something he didn't expect?
"Well?"
The Loot House is waiting. She's spent so much valuable time trying to understand him, that if he won't be useful to her, then she'll really be sorry to Puck for everything. Her naivety would end up taking not only the Royal Selection, but the whole reason she had left home in the first place.
This is his one chance, like Puck said.
"...Okay." He nods somberly. "I will. I'll be honest to Emilia-tan. I'll never break another promise."
It's almost enough to make her smile with relief, but he's still dejected. She pinches her brows, worried about whatever he's keeping inside.
"...I can't... I can't always be perfect, I won't--I won't always be able to say things, or--or--or literally be able to answer with something other than 'I can't tell you,' but I--I want..." Through his tears, he pushes past the lump in his throat and smiles at her, "I want to be honest with Emilia-tan, too."
And through her own tears, she matches him. A soft laugh escapes her.
"That's all I wanted, dummy... from the very start..."
She barely knows him, but she'd have to be a fool to not understand his motives after screaming and crying with him. He's ridiculous and he knows he is. Someone with too much baggage like him doesn't expect to be allowed into anyone else's heart. No wonder she couldn't help but want to trust him.
"...really, who--who would call someone dummy...?"
Emilia laughs, "I would. I just did. Should I not?"
"No, in fact, please call me that for the rest of my life."
In the wake of Elsa's short one-sided attempt to hurt anyone in the Loot House, and the return of her rightful insignia, and the whatever that just happened with the Knight Reinhard and the two thieves who'd belonged to this now destroyed building, all that's left is Emilia and her prophetic saviour.
"I owe you a great debt, Sir Natsuki..."
The only thing she'd been able to do for him was heal that cut on his neck, as if it wasn't her own fault he'd received it.
"Mmhm." He stylishly flips his short hair absently.
"You..." She sighs, and admits the obvious, "...you saw this in the future, huh."
"Mmh--..." The suspicious boy almost idly accepts again, but she managed to catch him off guard, "--m. Um. Yes."
Emilia just shakes her head, still scared of how much he knows, but the surreality of him so casually nodding along to saving her life...
As if stopping Elsa Granhiert was no problem at all, as if saving Emilia was no problem at all. He single-handedly kept her life goal of repentance within view, if he didn't already know how to obtain it outright.
"Well. I'm not that concerned if you saw this coming, Sir Natsuki, or if this is all trite to you, as it still means a lot to me."
"...Yeah."
"...Will you accept my debt to you?"
He scratches his head. "...Maybe later."
'Maybe later?!'
She pouts and complains immediately, "Hey, I'm serious! You--you saved my life, I can't just walk away knowing that! If I didn't properly pay you back, then I wouldn't be able to show my gratitude to you, and, really, it's rude of you to not even have the courtesy to follow through on s-something like this!"
During that whole battle, nothing threw him off at all. He'd used hidden, unexplained abilities to such great effect it could hardly be called a battle. Now, he finally smiles sheepishly, "Um, sorry, I just--I don't know what to use Emilia-tan's favour for...?"
"Don't say it like that, are you trying to imply I can't do anything for you? I'm sure I could do something!"
"U-uhm, well... I guess... I'd ask..."
His shy demeanour suddenly breaks into intense thoughtful humming, putting up a rather comical expression.
She swallows from nerves, meaning everything she said but still a little scared of what a powerful medium could even desire from her. As his sketchy eyes slowly turn to hers, she tries to stand tall. Proud, capable. His pronounced expression relaxes, and he sighs from endearment.
"...?"
"...Please call me Subaru. Just Subaru."
Emilia gawks at him. Just to call him by a more personal name?! Why can't he be normal just this once?!
"That's not worthy of the favour at all!"
"I can't help it!" He groans dramatically, switching moods rapidly again, "I don't even want to be praised or rewarded for doing what I'd always have done. Emilia-tan, I want you to reward me for doing something well!" He reaches over, taking her hands in his, smiling sadly, "You don't have any reason to trust me at all, and I can't go with you yet to the Mathers estate," These next two days are vital for setting up his plans, "If I could be truly, actually selfish, and ask for anything... I'd just wish you could see the future, too."
Even if it meant seeing his failures, too.
"...Me? See the future? That's--there's definitely no way I could make good on that."
Subaru laughs emptily. He just nods.
"...The version of me that you see..." Emilia almost trails off entirely, but she strengthens her resolve, "...she must be someone very special, for you to care about her this much."
She wants to know about the her he's seeing. That's the only explanation for the tension coiling in her gut. She wants to squeeze these hands holding hers for the crime of daring to be so mysteriously kind, yet still so averse to opening up to her.
He doesn't answer verbally. Emilia gets lost in whatever that expression on his face means, so full of despair yet, somehow, acting like she hangs the stars in the sky.
"Don't you care? At all? About..." She lightly tugs her hands to try and pull them away, but he doesn't let her go. Finishing the sentence is a bit much for her, even though she'd brought up her heritage earlier. She's still in denial about it and he doesn't blame her at all for that.
"About your resemblance to that horrible woman who causes pain and tragedy everywhere she goes, no, definitely not," Subaru tsks dismissively, a faint grin tugging at his face, "She's nothing but a mockery of your greatness, she's the yin to your yang, you could even make all half-elves so beautiful by standing here so radiantly..."
Okay, she's blushing again because of him, he needs to keep that mouth of his in check! Really, who just says that to someone who looks like the Witch, who could be so ridiculous?! And wouldn't her beauty extend to the Witch itself, if she's following his absurdity correctly?!
"Don't say that!!" Emilia sputters, "And don't imply anything good about the Witch, either, that's too far!!"
"Sorry, I should've phrased that better," Subaru agrees easily, shrugging, "That is to say, everyday I see your beautiful smile I'm reminded that even in all the bad of this world, there's still someone wonderful like you worth living for."
Critical!! Her face feels so hot she lets go of him to start fanning herself!!
"Subaru~!!!"
His grin extends to cheeky levels.
'She finally used my real name.'
Both of them remain completely oblivious to the destroyed wreck of the Loot House around them. There's no one here to be concerned with anymore, since Reinhard was clued in that Old Man Rom would be indispensable for Felt's Candidacy. He'd swooped them off to their fate, a proper nice guy kidnapping.
Of course, getting rid of Rom had nothing to do with him listening in on their disastrous yet needed first meeting outside the door. Nothing to do with that knowing look on his face at all.
In the end, or rather this new beginning, he's yet again made the mistake of assuming he'll find a way to save everyone. Even if he avoids that trapped Pleiades Watchtower, call him crazy, he's got the funniest of hunches that it was never about that tower in particular. He's doing something wrong... and he'll never be able to know what it is until time lets him move forward with the choices he's made to avoid it.
There's no telling how many more times he'll be sent right back here, forced to choose if he'll let someone get close to him again. It's human nature to need friends, just like it's all too human to grieve when he loses them again. He can't move forward without his allies, but it would only get harder to want to move forward knowing he'll just keep losing them.
He still wants to try, is all it comes down to. It's too late to pretend he can keep acting so unaffected when they forget. He won't get to act so normal around Emilia, and genuinely be surprised when she tells him things about herself he had no way of knowing.
This new version of him, where he's honest about having met them... He would never have risked Satella's ire before. Now, he has no choice but to gamble and try something new. If he's going to lose everything, he wants to lose it knowing he tried his best, and kept the people he cares about closer than ever.