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Kid Curry knew three things about the two strangers in the hotel lobby.
The tall Englishman was harmless.
The dog was not.
And Hannibal Heyes was already interested in the trousers.
“Don’t,” Curry muttered.
Heyes smiled. “I didn’t say anything.”
“You got your thinking face.”
“I have one face.”
“You got at least six. That one means we’re about to get chased.”
Across the lobby, Wallace was explaining his Electro-Matic Riding Trousers to the hotel clerk.
“See, they do all the walking for you! Wonderful for the weary traveler. No more aching knees, no more sore feet, and absolutely no need for a horse.”
Gromit, sitting beside two battered suitcases, stared into the middle distance.
The trousers stood upright by themselves.
They took one step.
Then another.
Then marched directly into a potted plant.
Wallace laughed nervously.
“Still calibrating.”
Heyes leaned toward Curry.
“Imagine those in a bank.”
“No.”
“You could walk a safe right out the door.”
“No.”
“Could climb a wall.”
“No.”
“Carry dynamite.”
“Heyes.”
“Just appreciating engineering.”
They were trying to go straight. Again.
Governor Lom Trevors had promised them amnesty if they could remain out of trouble long enough for the political winds to change. The political winds, Curry had discovered, moved considerably slower than posses.
So naturally, within an hour of meeting Wallace, they were accused of stealing a payroll.
The real thief was a small, severe man named Edgar Pike, formerly of the railroad accounting office. Pike had seen Wallace demonstrate the trousers and immediately understood their criminal potential.
That night he stole them.
Unfortunately, he also stole Gromit.
Not deliberately.
Gromit had been hiding inside the luggage compartment attached to the trousers, having anticipated exactly this sort of nonsense.
At midnight, Pike strapped the trousers to himself and marched into the Territorial Bank.
Gromit quietly unfastened the luggage flap.
Pike never noticed the dog emerge behind him.
The trousers climbed the bank wall.
Pike grinned.
Gromit climbed after him with a screwdriver between his teeth.
Meanwhile, Heyes, Curry, and Wallace were sprinting down the street.
“Well,” Wallace panted, “this is exciting!”
Curry glared at him.
“You English have a funny definition of exciting.”
“Oh, no, we’ve got several.”
Heyes stopped beneath the bank window.
“Wallace, can you control those things remotely?”
“Of course!”
“Good.”
“Provided I’m within six feet.”
Heyes stared.
“That would have been useful earlier.”
Inside, Pike reached the vault.
The trousers kicked through the lock.
“Good heavens,” Wallace whispered from outside. “They’re stronger than I thought.”
Curry drew his gun.
“Everybody says that right before something explodes.”
Gromit reached the control box.
Pike opened the vault.
Then the trousers began dancing.
Pike froze.
“What?”
Left foot.
Right foot.
Kick.
Spin.
Gromit turned a tiny dial.
Pike flew backward into a desk.
The payroll bag sailed through the air.
Gromit caught it.
Heyes climbed through the window just in time to see a dog carrying five thousand dollars in his teeth.
“Well,” he said, “that’s new.”
Gromit handed him the bag.
Heyes looked at it.
Then at Gromit.
Then at Curry climbing through behind him.
Curry pointed.
“Don’t.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re thinking.”
“I’m holding evidence.”
“You’re thinking while holding evidence.”
Wallace appeared at the window.
“Everything all right?”
The trousers kicked Pike through the office door.
Curry nodded.
“Pretty much.”
The sheriff arrived moments later and found Pike unconscious, Wallace apologizing for damage to the furniture, Gromit repairing the vault, and Heyes standing with the stolen payroll in his hands.
There was a long silence.
Heyes smiled.
“Now, Sheriff, I can explain.”
Curry closed his eyes.
The chase lasted twenty-three minutes.
Gromit drove the getaway wagon.
Nobody asked where he had learned.
By dawn, the four fugitives were camped beside a creek.
Wallace poured tea.
Heyes stared into the fire.
“You know, Curry, we did return the money.”
“We also ran from the sheriff.”
“He misunderstood.”
“You were holding the payroll.”
“For safekeeping.”
“You smiled.”
“I’m friendly.”
Gromit handed Curry a cup.
Curry took it.
“Thanks.”
Wallace sat beside Heyes.
“You two seem like decent chaps.”
Curry nearly choked.
Heyes looked touched.
“We’re working on it.”
Wallace nodded as though this were perfectly normal.
“Gromit and I have had a few misunderstandings ourselves.”
Gromit slowly turned his head.
Wallace coughed.
“Well. Mostly me.”
The trousers, tied to a tree, suddenly twitched.
Everyone stared.
One leg lifted.
Heyes smiled.
Curry pointed at him.
“No.”
“But—”
“No.”
“They could—”
“No.”
Wallace brightened.
“You could borrow them!”
“NO.”
Gromit quietly removed the battery.
Curry raised his cup toward him.
“Smartest one here.”
Gromit nodded.
Heyes looked offended.
Wallace looked proud.
And somewhere in the distance, the sheriff shouted their names.
Curry sighed.
“Time to go.”
Wallace stood.
“Adventure?”
Curry pulled on his hat.
“No. Tuesday.”