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When Shouta had first been approached by Yamada, his first impression was that he was very loud. He spoke every word with fervor, and man, could he talk. Shouta didn’t think he’d ever seen Yamada be quiet in the few months he’s known him. Despite his loud, overzealous, and obnoxious personality, Shouta found himself weirdly drawn to him. He sometimes found himself enjoying the background noise he provided. And Yamada seemed drawn to him too. He constantly stuck around Shouta when the opportunity presented itself like practices or just at lunch. Maybe it was because he didn’t talk a lot so Yamada didn’t have to strain himself to listen, and could focus better on talking— Shouta wasn’t very sure.
Once he started paying more attention to the blonde, he started noticing things he hadn’t before. Like the way Yamada would constantly seem to mishear him or laugh at something he said when he was looking for an answer. He noticed how he would sometimes glance over at Shouta’s notes when he seemed to miss something the teacher said. He noticed how when it came to training, people were sometimes able to get the sneak on him if they were quiet enough. And most notably, he noticed the two pieces of technology resting in either of his ears. Hearing aids. Yamada was deaf.
Noticing this, a lot of his habits started making sense. He recounted how many times he’d mumbled something only to be met by a smiling Yamada, blinking cluelessly, clearly trying to piece together what Shouta had just said. And Shouta felt like an asshole. He remembered how many times he’d get annoyed at having to repeat himself and just completely give up on trying to say it, instead settling for a ‘whatever.’
Shouta started paying more attention to little interactions he’d skimmed over before. He watched how in the middle of a conversation with someone, Yamada’s hands flew up for a few moments, fingers moving intricately before realization would dawn across his face and he’d lower his hands, his bright expression dimmed slightly. He noticed how he’d lean in closer when someone was talking particularly quiet, guilt flashing across his face when they got annoyed that they had to repeat themselves so many times or that Yamada had misheard them once again. He noticed how occasionally, he’d wince and quickly raise his hand to his ear, adjusting something on his aid before going back to whatever he was doing.
Shouta started to wonder how many people in their class realized Yamada had hearing problems. His hearing aids fit snugly around his ears and were similar colors to his skin and hair (whether that was intentional or not, Shouta wasn’t sure) and you wouldn’t really notice them if you weren’t looking for them. They weren’t impossible to see but most people just didn’t care to look hard enough.
One day during class, he saw Yamada wince followed by a look of annoyance, bringing his hands up to his ears and rubbing the spot behind them.
“Do they hurt?” Shouta made sure to ask loud enough that he wouldn’t have a problem hearing.
“Huh? Does what hurt?”
“Your hearing aids. Do they bother you?”
“Oh. Yeah sometimes I guess. After having them in for long periods of time, they start making my ears sore.” Yamada’s expression fell for a minute before perking up quickly. “It’s no big deal though! It’s worth it to be able to chat with my fellow listeners, ya know?”
Shouta hummed in acknowledgment and looked deep in thought before he turned back to Yamada.
“Why don’t you ever take them off? Like, a break?”
“Well because then I wouldn’t be able to talk with anyone or hear anything, and that’s lame, ya dig?” He smiled but it seemed a little forced.
“Do you have a problem with silence?” Shouta questioned.
“Hm not really I guess. I just don’t like not being able to communicate with anyone while my aids are off. So not cool.” He shrugged a bit theatrically.
Shouta hummed again before turning back to his work. He started thinking about how it’d feel if he couldn’t talk with anyone unless he wore uncomfortable things on his ears. He, personally, wouldn’t mind it too much but he wasn’t nearly as sociable as Yamada is. He knew how much he loved to talk, it was his favorite part of his podcast ‘Put Your Hands Up!’ After a while of thinking, he decided something; he’d learn JSL. It couldn’t be that hard, right? And as a future hero, it could be a really useful skill to have (it definitely didn’t have anything to do with the way Shouta’s heart sped up at the thought of Yamada being excited to talk with Shouta in JSL). It was only rational.
When Shouta arrived home that afternoon, he got on his computer and searched up ‘JSL for beginners’ and a video about finger spelling came up. He clicked on it without a second thought. The video displayed a hand moving into different positions and saying what letter they represented. Shouta spent the next few hours learning finger spelling but it was harder than he’d thought it’d be. His fingers were sloppy and he struggled to make some of the shapes. He kept forgetting which hand movement correlated to each letter. But he was determined. Yamada deserved to be able to communicate with someone in his own way.
After hours of practice, he’d managed to finger spell his own name. It was definitely sloppy and he still needed to practice more, but it was a start. After attempting to spell a few more names, he decided it was enough for the day and headed off to take a shower.
For the next few weeks, Shouta spent more and more time learning how to use JSL. He practiced finger spelling first and once he could confidently do the alphabet with it looking decent enough, he moved into words. Grammar was different in JSL than it was in speaking. With a lot of focus and hard work, however, he started memorizing stuff slowly but surely.
Through these next few weeks, Shouta also found himself taking note of Yamada a lot more. He would notice little things about him, like how he tried to mingle with every one he could (though he stuck around Shouta more than the rest of them, and he had no complaints about that), how he would get excited when the topic of foreign culture came up, always being the first one to shoot his hand in the air, eager to share his overflowing knowledge on the subject. How pretty Yamada was when the sun shone on him during training. Or how his heart skipped a beat when he smiled brightly at him.
He realized he’d started falling for the blonde. His bright smiles, his vibrant eyes, his loud personality, his jokes that always make Shouta huff a breath of amusement, no matter how much he tried to pretend he didn’t like them. He was falling for Yamada, and hard. Even things about the boy that used to annoy him, like his seemingly never ending chattering or his ridiculous hairdo, now only seemed endearing.
He spent as much time as possible learning JSL. He wanted to ask the blonde out in it, as a romantic gesture or something like that. He wasn’t really good at romance but he wanted to try, Yamada deserved that much. Unfortunately, dedicating his time to learning JSL meant that he didn’t have a lot of free time to hangout with Yamada. He declined invitations to hangout so he could go home and study. He needed all the free time possible to do it, with a lot of his free time already being taken with extra training classes for his capture weapon and homework assignments. He felt bad every time a look of disappointment crossed Yamada’s expression when Shouta declined another invitation to hangout, but it’d be worth it in the end. He knew it.
***
Aizawa was avoiding Hizashi, he was almost sure of it. Every time he asked the ravenette to hang out, he was shot down which was unusual because before, Aizawa almost always agreed to tag along with Hizashi on his after school expeditions. He sat at his desk at home, a math worksheet laid out in front of him, long forgotten. His pencil tapped against his chin rhythmically as he thought. When had this behavior started? Has Hizashi done something?
He thought and thought, until suddenly, a lightbulb went off in his head. His hearing aids. The day Aizawa has started becoming distant was the day he asked about Hizashi’s hearing aids. Was he uncomfortable that Hizashi was deaf? He could still communicate and function normally! Aizawa didn’t have to worry about it, really. He wishes he could reassure his friend that him being deaf doesn’t change anything, but he didn’t really want to bring more attention to it. Aizawa still hung out with him at school, so really, he should be okay with it right?
Right. It was fine if the boy didn’t want to spend his extra time with a kid with a disability. He gets it. People have been like that his whole life. He just hopes they can still stay friends, at least at school.
That’s what Hizashi thought, anyway. It was harder than he expected to be okay with Aizawa not wanting to hangout with him outside of school. Every time he offered, Aizawa got this weird look on his face before declining. And honestly, it broke Hizashi’s heart a little every time. He was starting to fall for the boy. Scratch that, he already had fallen for him. Hard. Aizawa was so strong and cool and pretty, what about him was there to not like? He hoped the other boy felt the same, but after recent events, he doesn’t think that’s the case. Stupid hearing loss. Maybe he’d have a chance if he didn’t have a stupid disability.
This dumb thing had been a nuisance his entire life. He struggled making friends as a young child, before he got hearing aids, because people were annoyed he could never hear them. He did badly in school until he got hearing aids because he couldn’t hear the teacher. Even now, sometimes he can’t hear what the teacher says and he has to peek off a neighbors notes. Other kids got uncomfortable around him sometimes when they learned he had a disability, starting to over pronounce their words like he was stupid. Hell, he almost wasn’t allowed into UA until he talked with the principal himself and got cleared to become a hero as long as he wore hearing aids.
And now, he doesn’t even have a shot to date the prettiest boy he’s ever seen because he has this stupid disability. It’s not fair. It made his blood boil just thinking about it. It’s not his fault he’s disabled. Well, maybe it is because a lot of his hearing loss came from his quirk. But most of that was from when he was a baby or a small child and didn’t have control over it.
He really didn’t think Aizawa would be like that though. He kinda thought he’d be different. He didn’t expect him to do anything crazy for him, but he didn’t think he’d avoid him because of something like this. But again, he shouldn’t really be shocked. He had no right to be mad, right? Right. He didn’t care. Not at all. Aizawa avoiding him didn’t bother him at all.
***
Shouta was getting progressively closer to being ready to ask Yamada out. His grammar with JSL was improving more and more every week and their first year was coming to an end soon. He thought that maybe, after their exams and heavy work is done, he could invite Yamada to go out somewhere with him. And then he could confess in sign language, revealing his practice. Yamada would be swooned!
…Hopefully.
One day, Shouta and Yamada were sitting on the roof at lunch. Yamada was rambling about his cd collection of various bands, some English, some American, some Japanese, and a few of other cultures, but his main ones were those three. He talked about how he bought vinyls and hung them on his wall.
“Do you have a record player?” Shouta asked. He didn’t chime into Yamada’s endless chattering usually, but every once in a while he asked a question or gave his opinion, he thinks it shows he’s listening.
“Uh, technically yes? But it’s busted right now. And has been for like— ehhhh three years? Give or take,” he said thoughtfully, holding a hand to his chin before shrugging.
“Why do you still buy vinyls then if you can’t play them?”
“Decor, obviously! I know you’ve got no sense in fashion or decoration, but I like a little whimsy in my room,” he said enthusiastically.
“Yamada—“ Shouta was going to tell him how irrational it was to waste money on something he couldn’t even use, but Yamada interrupted him.
“Hizashi.”
“What?”
“Call me Hizashi!” He smiled sheepishly.
“Oh. Okay.” Shouta blinked owlishly at the blonde, caught off guard.
Yama— Hizashi— looked at him expectantly until Shouta’s brain processed the situation fully.
“Oh, you can call me Shouta.” He looked down to his lap, a bit of embarrassment making his cheeks flush. (No it was not because his crush and him were now on a first name basis, thank you very much!)
Hizashi smiles brightly at him before continuing back into his spiel about why he buys vinyls and Shouta keeps his mouth shut this time, content to let the boy talk.
Finally, mercifully, final exams passed, practically marking the end of their first year at UA and Shouta could not wait to confess to Hizashi. His plan was to go home tonight, practice his lines in his mirror, and then tomorrow, he’d ask Hizashi to go somewhere with him and he’d do it. Him and the blonde had been getting progressively closer and closer, despite not hanging out outside school often (which was Shouta’s fault but he was trying to get fluent in JSL as quickly as possible!). He thought that maybe, just maybe if he was real lucky, Hizashi would accept his feelings and return them. Oh he prayed he returned them.
That day, he was excited to go home and practice his lines when Hizashi approached him.
“Hey, Shou! Do ya wanna hangout? I got some pocket change to hit up the arcade, yo!” he said excitedly, a large smile plastered on his face.
“Sorry, I can’t. I’ve got stuff to do today,” he rejected.
“What? Like what?” he whined. “Exams are finally over and none of the teachers are assigning work anymore!”
“Just stuff. I’m sorry. Maybe tomorrow?” he offered sheepishly.
He watched Hizashi’s face shift from upset, to scrutinizing, and finally settling on anger.
“You always say that! Why don’t you want to hangout with me!?” he argued loudly.
“That’s not true, I do—“
“No you don’t! Or else you wouldn’t reject me every time I offer to hangout! You’ve been doing this for months now! I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt but I don’t get it anymore.” Hizashi was fuming.
Shouta was at a lost for words, but (un)lucky for him, Hizashi’s always had enough for two.
“Admit it! This is because I’m deaf, isn’t it? Just admit you don’t want to hangout with me because I’m disabled!” he yelled, pain lacing his voice.
Students stared at them while they walked out of the school, they were standing right next to the school gate exit. But Shouta’s full attention was on Hizashi.
“No! That’s not— well, yes, it is, but not like—“
“Shove it, Aizawa,” Hizashi said coldly.
He turned on his heel and walked away and Shouta watched him go. What just happened? He was one day away from asking the boy out and now here he was, calling him Aizawa and stomping away from him. He sat staring at nothing for a while, his mind racing before he set off on home.
Once in his room, he plopped down on his bed and held his head in his hands. What the fuck. What does he do? What can he do? Hizashi hates him. Why did he react like that? Does he think Shouta is ableist? No way! He would never think any less of Hizashi for that. If anything, it only adds to his strength because he’s fighting for his dream despite his hearing impairment.
He thinks for a long while, sitting in this position for an hour before he decides what to do. He’s not going to let things end like this. Hizashi didn’t even give him a chance to explain, so he’d follow him and force him to. He sprung up off his bed, his blankets falling to the floor. He stumbled over them in his haste, but he wouldn’t be discouraged. Still in his uniform, he rushed through his apartment towards the genkan by the door. He plopped down and immediately went to trying to put his shoes on as fast as possible.
“Where are you going in such a hurry?” his mom called from the kitchen.
“I need to talk to Hizashi,” he shouted back. “I’ll be home soon, bye!”
He rushed out the door, hustling his way to the train station. He wasn’t running or anything, but he was definitely moving faster than his normal tired shuffle. He arrived on the train and sat down, tapping his fingers on his knee impatiently. He couldn’t wait any longer or her burst probably. Finally, the train doors slid open at his stop and he bolted up, slightly jogging now in his hurry.
He made his way through the populated train station, through the streets of the populated city until he reached the less populated area of Hizashi’s suburban neighborhood. Middle class houses lined the sides of the road and he kept jogging until he finally reached Hizashi’s house. The house was a pale yellow with white wooden accents. There were many plants in front, some lined the walkway up to their porch, some hung from the outside ceiling, and some were in pots placed as decoration.
He quickly made his way up the path to the front door, stopping in front of it and staring at it for a minute. Steeling his nerves, he raised a shaky fist and knocked. A few moments later, a tall lady answers the door. Shouta recognized her as one of Hizashi’s two moms. She had long, light blonde hair, lighter than Hizashi’s, that was tied up in a bun. She had on a floral sundress that hung just below her knees and a hair clip that kept her bangs out of her face.
“Oh! Aizawa! What a pleasant surprise!” she said cheerily.
“Hello Mrs. Yamada. Is Hizashi here?” he asked politely.
“Yes, Hizashi’s up in his room. Would you like me to go get him?”
“No, um. That’s okay. Is it okay if I go up to his room?” He looked at his shoes briefly before meeting the woman’s eyes again.
“Of course! You’re always welcome here.” She smiled and move out of the way to let him into the house. “Oh, fair warning though. He doesn’t seem to be in a great mood,” she called as he walked by her into the house, toeing off his shoes.
He hummed in acknowledgment before turning and heading into the house more, up the stairs and down the hall until he reached Hizashi’s room. He stood outside, staring at the white door that had a sign hanging from it, decorated with music notes and a microphone sticker and his name written across the middle. He took a deep breath and sighed before rapping his knuckles against the door.
“I’m not hungry, mom!” Hizashi’s voice called from the other side, clearly distraught.
“It’s… it’s me, Hizashi,” Shouta hesitantly called back.
He heard rustling on the other side before the door swung open, an angry Hizashi standing on the other side of it.
“Why are you here? I’m still mad at you, y’know,” he grumbled.
“Look, Hizashi, I’m really sorry. Can you please let me explain? Please?” Shouta looked at him earnestly.
He watched the blondes face twist in contemplation, the anger slowly falling off his face as he sighed.
“Fine. I’m giving ya five minutes.” He walked away from the door and back to his bed, plopping down with his arms crossed across his chest.
Shouta followed him in, closing the door softly behind himself and sitting next to Hizashi on the bed. He looked down at his lap, his fingers twiddling around each other nervously. He’d been in such a hurry to reach Hizashi that he didn’t really plan what to say. He’s never really been great with words.
“Times ticking,” Hizashi reminded him.
“Right, um. I’m not really… good with words.”
“Really? Wow, I had no idea. I’d even call you a mini Shakespeare,” he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
“Right.” Shouta cleared his throat. “Listen, Hizashi… I’m really sorry okay? I didn’t… I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t care that you’re deaf.”
“Then why else were you avoiding me like that?” Hizashi scoffed.
“Because I— ugh. I don’t know how to explain. Um…” he paused. “I was learning something. After school.”
“Everyday?” He glared at him.
“Yes.”
“And? What is this thing that was so important?”
Shouta didn’t respond with words this time, instead signing “I was learning JSL.”
Hizashi’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, green irises wide from behind the red-rimmed glasses he had perched on his nose.
“I spent everyday learning how to sign,” he said, not trusting his signing to be accurate enough to say that much yet.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hizashi asked, voice softer now as he looked at Shouta with fondness in his eyes.
“I wanted to surprise you. I was actually planning on revealing it tomorrow, but I guess now’s a good time as any…” His eyes drifted nervously off to the side before he locked eyes with him again.
“I like you, Hizashi,” he signed, finger spelling the boy’s name.
The boy stared back at him, eyes wide and mouth agape, opening and closing like a fish.
Shouta continued, speaking this time because he didn’t trust his sign language skills to say all he wanted to yet.
“You’re so skilled and strong, deaf or not. You’ve never let anything stop you at trying to achieve something you want to. Anything you’ve wanted to do, you have. I’m sorry I made you think I didn’t like you because you were deaf. I don’t care truthfully. It doesn’t change how great of a person you are.” Shouta looked down at his lap, his face surely a bright red.
“Shouta…” Hizashi said affectionately.
Shouta looked up, the other smiling softly. He lifted his hands up and signed “I like you too, Shouta.”
Shouta looked at him for a moment, his turn to have wide eyes and an open mouth. He closed his jaw quickly, looking at his lap in contemplation. He looked back up, face aflame.
“How do you sign… um… kiss?” he asked gingerly, the last word coming out softer.
Hizashi smiled and brought both his hands up, touching his middle and ring fingers to his thumbs with his index and pinky fingers straight up. He brought the two together, fingertips touching as it looked like two animals— maybe a wolf or fox or something— kissing. Shouta blushed as he repeated the action, adding in the sign for “you.”
Hizashi nodded enthusiastically, placing his hands on the bed between them and leaning in closer, an eager smile on his face.
Shouta leaned in carefully, closing his eyes as he got closer and pressing a gentle kiss to Hizashi’s mouth. The kiss was chaste and short, but it was perfect. They both pulled back just slightly, enough to look into each other’s eyes as Hizashi giggle a little before leaning back in to press another, longer kiss the Shouta’s lips. They both eventually pulled away, cheeks red and giddy smiles adorning their faces.
Hizashi lifted his hands again, signing something Shouta didn’t understand.
He repeated it again, slowly this time and narrating it. “Romance,” he said, crossing his hands near his chest. “Male.” He stuck his thumb up. “Boyfriend.” He signed them together. “Will you be my boyfriend?”
Shouta leaned his head forward, dropping it on Hizashi’s shoulder, not being able to look him in the face as he delivered his answer.
“Yes.”