Work Text:
Simon woke up earlier than Grace, like every morning. He looked to his left and saw his savior, love and light. His Grace. He tenderly wrapped his human arm around Grace’s torso so as to not startle him awake with the cold metal of his Xenonite prosthetic. He buried his face in Grace’s neck and breathed him in. Apple shampoo, the kind that doesn’t hurt if it gets in your eyes, the ocean breeze, and something that is so distinctly Grace. His scent grounded him, reminding him that he was safe. Even after decades, he needed reassurance. He huffed out a laugh at the thought. Before he could fall asleep again, Simon reluctantly pulled himself away from Grace and walked to the kitchen. Armando already made Simon’s coffee, but Simon, with the help of Rocky, reprogrammed him years ago to not make Grace’s. Simon always liked to do it himself. He had memorized how Grace liked it. Simon could do it with his eyes closed.
He started the coffee machine and put Grace’s favorite mug under it. It had a graphic of some science pun that Simon never really understood, no matter how many times Grace had tried to explain it to him. He leaned against the counter as the coffee maker hissed. He sipped on his own coffee in his army green mug with the word “Brave” written poorly on it. It was a holiday gift from Rocky ages ago, but it still held a very special place in his heart. He had cried when he had received it, and even still, on bad days, it brought tears to his eyes.
The machine stopped once Grace’s mug was about halfway full. Simon filled it the rest of the way with milk and added one big spoonful of sugar. He will never understand how Grace likes his coffee like this. It’s barely even coffee at this point. But Simon didn't need understanding in order to help. He had long ago disassembled the nagging feeling of obligation. Nowadays, all the help was done because he wants Grace to be happy, not for his selfish intentions. Around this time is when Grace usually sleepily wobbled to the kitchen. Simon had mastered Grace’s schedule. It wasn’t too difficult with Grace being such a creature of habit. However, in recent months, Grace had been waking up later and later.
At first, it was just a few minutes, which Simon was happy to grant him. But recently, he had occasionally deviated by a whole hour from his normal routine. And the time he wakes up isn’t the only thing that's changed in the past few months and years. Simon had noticed a slow decline in passion for his teaching and lesson planning, going so far as to ask Simon to substitute on some days. The Grace he met would fight God to teach, even if he was sick. If he was being honest with himself, Simon was worried about him.
After about 45 minutes of sitting in his anxiety, Simon’s coffee long gone and Grace’s getting cold, he decided to go check on him. He brought Grace’s coffee into their bedroom to see Grace completely still, blankets tangled around his legs. He was totally relaxed… Too relaxed? Simon’s heart dropped into his stomach. He stared at him for what felt like an eternity, eyes darting anywhere for a sign, any sign. He began muttering under his breath, praying to whatever god that might be out there that Grace hasn’t left him. Not yet. Not like this. Not his Grace. He had been through too much for sleep to take him. Simon’s gaze caught on something. Movement. He nearly cried when he saw the subtle rising and falling of Graze’s chest. Breath. Life. He restrained himself from running to his side, trying his best to walk at a normal pace. He placed Grace's coffee on his nightstand and sat down gingerly beside him, leaned down and placed a shaky kiss on Grace’s temple. Months ago, he would’ve woken up at the gesture. But that, like many things, had dissipated in the recent months.
“Ryland,” Simon murmured, hoping he wouldn’t have to shake the scientist awake. Fortunately, he didn’t have to. Grace stirred as he awoke, his eyes fluttering open and immediately meeting Simon’s. Simon hoped he couldn’t see the tears dissipating in his eyes. If he did, he didn’t do anything to indicate that he did. He smiled as he stretched his arms above him, wincing when something in his back popped.
“Mmmmorning,” Grace slurred, reaching one of his hands down to take Simon’s. Simon’s breath caught like it always did when he was reminded just how beautiful Grace was. The artificial morning light streamed in through the windows illuminating his face, fully earning him the pet name ‘angel’. His golden hair had lightened and greyed over time, and his face had begun to wrinkle at the corners of his eyes and along his cheeks. Simon couldn’t help but think that those changes only made him more handsome. As he watched Grace age, he had started to become jealous that his mutations denied him the experience of getting older. The Eridian scientists believed that at the rate he was changing, or, more accurately, wasn’t changing, he could be immortal. He didn’t quite know what to do with the feeling, but eventually he became comfortable with never having to face death again. However, recently, he realized that living forever came with cons. Watching his partner age and meeting the same reflection in the mirror everyday was one of them.
Simon leaned over again, giving Grace a proper kiss on the mouth and allowing Grace to capture him in his arms and hold him against his chest for a while. Simon could breathe easier so close to Grace’s heartbeat. Eventually, he pulled back to hand Grace his forgotten coffee. Grace’s face lit up as if this was the first time Simon had ever made him coffee. Simon silently admired the changes his scientist was going through, but he found comfort in the things that never changed, as well. As Grace drank, Simon brought up his xenonite hand up to Grace’s face, gently stroking his cheek.
“How did you sleep?” He asked. Grace gave a little shrug and a quiet ‘hmm’. Simon willed his face to not fall so obviously. He knew when he didn’t answer, the answer probably wasn’t ideal. Simon slid his hand up to properly cup the side of Grace’s face. Grace leaned into the touch. He looked so peaceful. For a second, it was almost as if his wrinkles faded away and Simon was face to face with the Grace he encountered on the worst and best day of his life. Grace had a look on his face Simon didn’t see often anymore, but he still knew it well; the crease between his eyebrows, his lips slightly pursed, his nose barely scrunched. All subtle signs, but the look was definitely there. He wanted to say something, but couldn’t bring himself to say it. Simon saw this look often in their first years on Erid. He later learned that look was attributed to his feelings for Simon. But instead of flustered or nervous, this look seemed solemn.
Grace pursed his lips tighter, trying to keep his words inside. Grace pressed Simon’s hand against him as he opened his eyes. He looked so tired. Simon searched those beautiful eyes for whatever Grace was leaving unsaid. If he was in danger, if he was in pain, Simon would do anything to get it to stop. Even if it meant leaving Grace behind, he would do it. Grace did look pained, and it broke Simon’s heart, but it wasn’t physical pain. Whatever was on that brilliant mind of his, it wasn’t good. Simon wanted more than anything to lift whatever burden Grace was harboring, but he wanted Grace to tell him on his terms. He had his will taken from him one too many times on Earth, and Simon would give him any and all opportunities for him to take it back for himself.
“You don’t have to tell me right away, angel. It’s okay.” He tried to hide how dry his mouth was. He was anxious, of course he was, but Grace deserved someone brave enough for the both of them right now.
“But you-” Grace choked out, trying to hold back tears. He was trying to find the proper words while holding it together, neither of which he was famous for executing. Simon pulled him in, allowing him to let out whatever was troubling him. Grace let Simon surround him, sobbing into his arms. He rubbed Grace’s back to soothe him, whispering comforting words as he rocked back and forth gently. Grace gripped him like a lifeline; as if Simon was the only thing keeping him alive. For a horrible moment, Simon wondered if that was true. Soon enough, Grace’s breathing slowed and he relaxed the hands gripping Simon’s shirt.
“Simon?” Grace’s voice was barely above a whisper, shaky and almost uncertain.
“Yes, angel?” Simon responded, he felt almost too quickly. He felt Grace laugh weakly at his eagerness to help.
“Could you teach for me today?” Even after hearing them time and again in recent months, the words seemed so foreign. Simon still could hardly believe Ryland Grace was willingly giving up teaching for a day. But Simon didn’t need an explanation, not now, not ever. He just wanted to help in any way he could.
“Of course.”
*******
Simon came home to find one of Erid’s doctors, Coral, leaving. He tried not to read too much into their body language, but he could’ve sworn they looked… Sad? Maybe they were just tired. Everyone seemed so tired recently.
He walked through the front door. Everything seemed too quiet, too still. He was so used to Rocky’s chaotic energy, Adrian entertaining their pebbles, Grace’s joy and laughter. It wasn’t often he came home to silence. He used to detest the noise, but now he has no idea how he ever longed for silence when it felt so stark and cold. He was trapped between breaking the silence or letting it wash over him. The one moment of him just barely in the threshold of the place he happily called home for the last 40 years stretched on for what seemed like longer than that. The stillness ate away at him from the inside out. His stomach churned in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. Something was not right. He knew it the moment he walked into a silent house, but he could feel it now. It was everywhere. It covered the floor, clawed up the walls, dripped from the ceiling. It was in the very air he breathed. The house almost smelled like uneasiness. He cautiously took a few more steps inside.
“Ry? I’m home,” He called out, hoping that whoever heard him couldn’t hear how his voice shook. Nobody answered for a beat too long. Then, the answer.
“I’m in the living room.” Grace’s voice echoed throughout the house. Had it always been echoey? Simon didn’t seem to notice how his voice radiated off the walls, mostly just relieved for the broken silence. He tried to untangle his stomach, to no avail. He walked in to find Grace sitting perfectly still on the couch, his hands folded in front of him and he leaned over himself. The uneasy feeling seeping through the walls had seemingly infected Grace as well. He looked paler than normal. He looked so fragile. Simon knew better than to assume that he was. Grace was the strongest person he had ever known.
“Are you alright?” Simon asked, trying to still his shaking voice once again. He took a seat next to Grace, and his stillness ceased as he began to shake. He shook his head no, and Simon took one of his hands. He gripped him tightly as they laced their fingers together. Simon waited patiently for Grace to form his words. He deserved all the patience he had given Simon when they first met, and that’s exactly what Simon was going to give him. The silence was even more suffocating than it was earlier. Seconds stretched into hours, it seemed. Simon was practically choking on the breath in his lungs with his anxiety. Finally, Grace sighed, seemingly resigned.
“I only have a month,” Grace swallowed. “Maybe two, if I’m lucky.”
Grace finally looked at Simon, his face unreadable. The words didn’t register at first. One month to what? To teach? To make it back to Earth? Surely he didn’t mean- He couldn’t mean… No.No no no. It was the only word he knew. The only thing filling his mind. His entire being was consumed with the word.
“No, no that can’t be right,”
“Simon,” Grace tried to interject, to no avail.
“What about the medication, the injections. That’s supposed to keep you alive. Why isn’t it keeping you alive?” Feelings Simon had long since buried were quickly resurfacing, but he didn’t care. He barely even noticed.
“They were meant to extend my life, but they only contribute to my body. My brain, my soul, me. I’m still aging. And no amount of medication can save me now. Maybe if we had started earlier, but-”
“No, that’s not right, that’s not fair.” He choked the words out. He wasn’t thinking anymore. He could barely see anymore with the tears filling his vision. He cursed them for blocking his view of Grace, but refused to let them fall. Not yet. Not when he had more to say
“Simon, I lived a good life and-”
“No, what about all those plans we made? We’re so close to figuring out how to have a child, you can’t-” He stopped himself before he could say ‘give up’. He knew he wasn’t giving up. He couldn’t be giving up. Ryland Grace does not give up. “What about me? What am I supposed to do? When you’re- When you’re,” He couldn’t bring himself to say it. He couldn’t find the proper words anyway.
“Simon, please,” Simon stood suddenly, anger and pain burning through his veins.
“No, it’s easy for you! All you have to do is- is leave me behind! What am I supposed to do with this place, this life? I’ve spent so long trying to forget my life before you, how am I supposed to continue without you?” Grace stood with him, shaky but firm.
“You think this is easy for me? You think it’s easy for me to leave all this behind? To leave Rocky, to leave Erid, to leave you? You think I want to die?” Grace didn’t yell often. It caught Simon off guard to get what he was giving, but he quickly realized he deserved it. He finally broke.
“Why do you-” His knees gave out as he crumpled to the ground. He wrapped his arms around his knees. “Why do you have to go where I can’t follow? How-” He choked on his tears, finally letting them fall. Grace was with him just as quickly as he had risen to stand against him. He wrapped his arms around him as tightly as he could as Simon sobbed into his chest. Simon tried to control his breathing and Grace pulled back to look at him. He couldn't stand seeing Grace cry, and he could tell the feeling was mutual. Grace brought shaky hands up to hold his face.
“How am I supposed to live forever if forever doesn’t have you?”
“I don't know,” Grace choked out. Simon knew he hated not knowing, and hated admitting it even more. “I’m scared, Simon.” Simon held him close once more. He wished he could offer comfort. He wanted to be brave enough for both of them, to tell him everything was going to be okay. But Grace didn’t deserve to be lied to.
“Me too. But we’re going to get through this. Somehow.” It was the best comfort he could offer. That he will not leave his side. The pebbles could wait, the rocks could wait, the world could wait. Simon had an eternity to make it up to everyone else. Grace didn’t.
********
The first week was brutal. The day after they got the news, they told Rocky and Adrian. Rocky had a similar reaction to Simon. He offered any and all solutions; more medication, developing a different medication, even cloning. Something had to work, right? But every potential solution was met with dead ends. Grace was in pain. Physical pain. Any prolonging of his life would only prolong the pain. He was already struggling with the difference between how his physical form differed from his mental state from the last few doses of his medication. There was nothing they could do but wait.
Rocky insisted on the both of them watching Grace sleep every night, which Simon and Grace agreed with. This, of course, meant they’d have to bring their pebbles along with them, which Simon was all too pleased with. Anything to keep that silence out of the house. His only request would be that he’d have Grace to himself during the final week. It was selfish, he knew, and he expected them to decline, but they seemed to understand.
The day after, Grace taught again. They had decided that Grace would teach up until the last week, and that the students wouldn’t be told until his final week of teaching. When Grace got home, he cried. He hated keeping things from his kids, but he knew it was for the best. Rocky’s pebbles, Earth, Robert, and Star, comforted him. They didn’t really understand what was happening, just that Grace had to leave soon. Simon’s heart melted and ached while he watched Grace play with the pebbles. He knew he would’ve been such a wonderful father. Years ago, Grace had told him the only regret he had was that he never had a child of his own. He loved children, it was one of the many reasons he was a teacher. But there was always something so appealing about watching a new person that he made grow and learn. He wanted to see his features in someone's face again, as well as see his partner’s features with them. That longing only intensified once Rocky and Adrian had their pebbles. The scientists were so close to figuring out how to combine their DNA. They even had names picked out. And all that wishing was going to waste.
The days of that week dragged on more than any week that month. It should have been a good feeling, the time seeming longer than it was. But it made things more painful. Simon felt so helpless, just watching Grace slowly die. The nagging feeling he should do something never went away, even once Grace was gone. The feeling was something Simon and Rocky bonded over.
The second week was strange. It almost felt like nothing was wrong. Everyone fell into their day to day routine. The only difference was every day ended with an activity with Grace. The first day was a picnic on the beach, the next day was movie night, so on and so forth. Simon and Grace talked more and more throughout the days. They talked about everything and nothing. They openly talked about Grace’s situation, which Simon didn’t expect. He didn’t grow up in a community that openly talked about anything. But Grace was more than willing to talk about his worries and anxieties, his preferences and wishes. It hurt to talk about, but leaving things unsaid would’ve hurt much more.
Grace wanted to be buried by Simon’s tree outside of the greenhouse. When Grace told him that, Simon cried. A lot. Which Grace expected. Grace also talked about his anxieties of what lies beyond. He never really thought about it on Earth. He considered himself agnostic, but he’s always had the feeling something lied beyond life. It was comforting to think that all this living led to something. Even if he just became part of the universe, at least he was becoming part of something. He hoped, wherever he went, he could check in on Erid every now and then. Although, he knew if he could check in, it was all he’d ever do.
About halfway through the week, Grace let the parents of his students know the situation. They were devastated, but honored his decision to tell their pebbles next week. They wondered if Simon would be taking his place, to which Simon eagerly confirmed. This was the first time Grace had heard this. After the meeting, Grace asked if he really wanted to take his place. Simon said he’d grown attached to the pebbles in his few days of substituting. Really, he wanted to do it to put Grace’s mind at rest about leaving them behind. He knew there were many things and people Grace hated losing, but he was especially close to his kids.
Then week three came. It was time for final decisions. Simon, Grace, and the rocks sat down and planned Grace’s funeral, despite Grace’s many insistings on not needing one. It was very painful to all have to face reality so directly. But they liked knowing what the coming weeks would hold, considering none of them knew what was going to happen after. The next day, Grace broke the news to his pebbles. It was the hardest thing he had to do. Some of them didn’t understand, and the ones that did didn’t take it well. He planned fun activities for his last week of teaching, but it didn’t really help to lift their spirits. He even offered to let them have nap time, which they had been begging for for years. They all insisted on resting on him, which he couldn’t refuse.
On the last day of that week, the rocks moved out. The pebbles were sad, but not as sad as Grace was. They were still too young to understand what was happening and why everything had been so heavy lately. Grace told them goodbye and that he loved them. They told him everything was going to be okay. Grace hugged them for a long time. Simon thanked Adrian and Rocky for all the help and comfort, and apologized for keeping Ryland to himself. Adrian said that someone’s final moments should be spent with the one they love most. Even after all this time, Simon could hardly believe that was him. Rocky and Grace had their goodbye alone, as requested by Grace. Simon will never know what exactly was said, and he’d always be curious. But he knew that goodbye was sacred, and he was comfortable not knowing. All he knew was that it took an hour. He knew they had to say goodbye before, but he figured this was much harder.
And then the rocks were gone.
And Simon and Grace were alone.
Grace had one request for his final week: to pretend nothing is wrong. He didn’t want his final days with Simon to be all crying and sorrow. And besides, Grace was good at pretending everything was fine. Simon did his absolute best, but it was one of the hardest things he’d ever done. He would rather go back to his submarine than have to watch his angel die and not do anything about it. He would ask what Grace would teach next week and choke on every word. Grace would answer with a long, thought out answer. He would ramble for far too long. Simon hung onto every word, committing them to memory. At the end of every day, he would recount their conversations in a journal. It was something he started doing ages ago, when he first found out he may never die. He wanted to remember every moment with Grace for the rest of eternity.
********
The sixth day of the week came, like all the others. Simon woke up before Grace, like he always did. He turned to see his love, his light, his reason for life. His Grace. He slowly slipped closer to him. He took his wrist in between his fingers once he wrapped his arms around him carefully, as to not startle him with his Xenonite prosthetic. He checked his pulse, a habit he picked up in the past month. Dull, but there. He sighed.
“Stay strong for me, angel.” He lingered there longer than usual. He felt every day in the past month weighing down on him. Every conversation, every tear, every argument. They swirled around him, consuming him in a roaring fire. Everything was too loud and too quiet all at once. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth. And suddenly, everything lifted. He opened his eyes to see Grace looking back at him. Simon broke eye contact for just a second to check the time. 6:47.The time Grace had woken up consistently for the past 37 years. He huffed out a laugh as he closed the gap between them, pressing a tender kiss against Grace’s lips. His lips traveled all over Grace’s face, making Grace laugh and try to push him off, which he failed to do.
“Simon! That tickles, stop!” Simon rolled on top of Grace, finding his lips again. Grace hummed into the contact, his fingers quickly threading themselves in Simon’s hair.
“Make me,” Simon growled against Grace’s mouth. Grace’s whole face went bright red. Simon remembered Grace making the exact same expression the morning after their first time. He smiled down at the man he loved more than life before tucking himself under Grace’s chin. Grace wrapped his arms around Simon’s back and held him tight against his chest. Simon heard Grace’s heart beating louder than it had for the past month. He pressed delicate, lazy kisses against Grace’s jaw, making Grace whine.
“Simon, if you don’t stop, we won’t get out of bed all day.” Simon shifted up to plant more intentional kisses against Grace’s temple.
“Would that really be so bad?” Grace pushed his face away, sitting up.
“Yes, you goof! I actually want to get stuff done today!” Grace dragged a reluctant Simon out of bed, who quickly latched onto his back, his hands gently but firmly resting on his hips. The pair walked into the kitchen, Armando waiting patiently with Simon’s coffee. Simon’s arm slipped under Grace’s, taking the coffee.
“Have a seat, Ry. I know how you like it.” He whispered in his ear, causing Grace to shiver. Grace laughed and pushed away, walking towards the stools at their kitchen island, pointing an accusatory finger at Simon.
“Check yourself before you wreck yourself, Simon Grace.” Simon’s chest warmed at the full name. Grace didn’t use it often, but he loved when he did. He felt during those moments more than most that he truly belonged to Dr. Captain Ryland Grace, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He grabbed Grace’s favorite mug and glanced at the graphic, still not able to discern the pun. He felt Grace’s eyes on him as he moved, starting the coffee machine and turning to face his husband as it worked behind him.
“Man, when was the last time I watched you make me coffee?” Grace asked, tracing idle patterns on the counter. Simon thought back across the years.
“Maybe the last day of our honeymoon? I think that’s when I started bringing you coffee in bed so you could sleep in as much as possible.” Grace beamed at Simon from the other side of the island. Stars above, has he always looked so kissable? Yes, the answer is yes. Simon leaned over the counter to kiss him quickly before turning back to Grace’s coffee just as the coffee machine finished. Simon added the milk and, frankly, absurd amount of sugar and slid it over to Grace.
“Coffee for the most handsome man this side of the universe,” Simon smirked. Grace took it with a laugh.
“Such a tease. And a good looking one at that. Are you single, by chance?” Grace asked as he sipped, looking at Simon with hooded eyes.
“Unfortunately, no. I am very happily married.” Grace hummed at the emphasis on ‘very’.
“He must be very lucky to have you,” Grace said, more sincerely than flirtatiously, as he reached over to take Simon’s hand. Simon returned the gesture, squeezing Grace’s hand.
“I’m the lucky one.”
*********
The rest of the day went by quickly and full of laughter and kisses, as every day of their lives together should have been. If Simon had to point to a perfect day, this one would come close. He thought that nothing could ever topple their wedding, though. He thought that before they even got married. The pair finished watching one of Grace’s favorite films, with Grace telling Simon all kinds of facts about the actors, all of which Simon already knew. But he loved hearing Grace talk.
They slipped into bed, giggling like teenagers and holding each other close. And suddenly it was all quiet again. Simon figured Grace was asleep at this point because of how long he had been silent for. Then he felt Grace’s arms hug tighter against Simon’s back, and he felt Grace shift from below Simon’s chin, burying himself deeper into his arms. Simon let him get closer, enjoying his warmth. Grace was still for a moment longer before he spoke.
“Simon?” He asked, almost timidly.
“Yes, angel?” Simon asked, his voice sounding surprisingly shaky, even to him. Grace had been so energetic and happy this past week, it was nerve wracking to hear him so serious all of a sudden.
“I-” Grace started, huffing out a half laugh. Simon could hear him breathe in a shaky breath before continuing. “I don’t think I’m going to wake up tomorrow.”
The statement said so simply hit Simon harder than anything he had ever experienced. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to say. What do you even say to that?
“Okay,” He started, trying not to cry. He promised strength. He promised happy. But how was he supposed to be happy when the best thing in his life was leaving him? His husband was dying in his arms a little each second and there was nothing he could do to stop it. So, he decided to finally finally accept it. There was nothing he could do. Grace was going to die. He knew why. And it was okay. “Okay.” He finally resolved. He held Grace tightly against him. He was worried he was crushing him, but let his anxieties go as he felt Grace holding him just as tightly.
“Simon?” He heard Grace ask, a little more confidently.
“Yes?”
“What’s your favorite animal?” Simon chuckled dryly. His final hours, and he wants to know Simon’s favorite animal?
“I don’t know. What are those birds that fly really fast? The small ones?”
“Hummingbirds?”
“Yeah, I think so. I like them. What about you?”
“Foxes. I figured that was obvious.” The pair laughed. They laughed for a little longer than they probably should’ve, but it didn’t matter.
“Okay, who’s your favorite of Rocky and Adrian’s pebbles?” Grace asked, shifting so that his cheek rested against Simon’s chest. Simon scoffed at the question.
“I can’t pick! That’s unethical.” Grace laughed.
“C’mon, I won’t tell anyone.” Simon understood the joke Grace was making, but he still choked on his breath once he said it. Simon tried to ignore the churning in his stomach and the tears slowly trailing down his cheek.
“Star, I think.”
“See? You get it. I love the other two, but Star is just objectively the best.” They started laughing again. And slowly that laughter turned into sobs. Grace clutched onto Simon as he shook in his arms, hyperventilating. Simon soothed him as he sobbed, gently rubbing his back and placing soft kisses on the top of his head.
“Simon, I’m so scared.” Every word tore Simon’s heart from his chest. “I’ve been trying to be strong for everyone, but I’m terrified. I thought I would be ready. I’ve been ready all these weeks, all these months. I knew this was coming and I still can’t-” Grace choked, unable to finish. Simon shifted so he was face to face with Grace, cupping his face in his hands. Grace shakily held onto Simon’s wrists while Simon wiped his tears away with his thumbs, quietly shushing him.
“You are the strongest person I have ever known. You came out here on your own, against your will, and saved multiple planets, including the one that betrayed you. All while personally changing the lives of so many people, including and especially, me. You got through all of that alone, and you can get through this. And this time, you won’t have to do it alone.”
Grace leaned in to press his forehead against Simon’s, letting the rest of his tears roll down his cheeks.
“Okay.” He said, simply. He took a shaky breath, held it for a second, and let it out. He finally closed his eyes, allowing himself to rest. One last time.
Minutes went by as Simon watched Grace slowly be consumed by his drowsiness. Simon thought he was finally asleep when Grace mumbled.
“I love you, Simon. More than I ever thought I was capable of.”
“I love you too, Ryland. And I always will. Until time kills me or I outlive it.” Grace smiled at the promise. And then he went limp. Simon watched him gently breathe as long as he could, until sleep took him away.
And then the house was quiet.
********
Simon woke up and looked to his left. Nobody was there. He glanced at the time. 7:21. Grace must be up already then. Simon groggily slipped out of bed. The house was so quiet. That was pretty normal nowadays, though. He grabbed his coffee from Armando and looked around the house. No Grace. That was odd. There was no school today, so where could he be? He could be out with Rocky, but he liked to spend his mornings with Simon. It was one of his favorite things. But his mug wasn’t in the sink, either. So wherever he was, he hadn’t had his coffee yet. Simon figured he would make it and then go out and ask Rocky if he knew where Grace was. Simon opened the cabinet and grabbed Grace’s mug. He suddenly felt like this was something he hadn’t done in forever. Once he closed the cabinet and was staring at the mug, he remembered.
Grace wasn’t here anymore. He hadn’t been here for years. Simon hated these days. When he had to remember. It was comforting in that place between places, but once he broke free, he was brought back to that day. When he had to pretend everything was fine. Until it wasn’t. He let his tears fall freely as he stared at the mug. Then, suddenly, something in his mind clicked. He began to chuckle. Then laugh. His laughter reverberated throughout the silent house. His laughter consumed him so completely, he crumpled to the ground, clutching the mug so it didn’t shatter. Through his laughter, his tears still came. He felt the roof of his mouth tingle as he tried to slow his shaking breaths. Eventually, he sighed.
“I get it.”