Chapter Text
Paul and Jane had known each other for two months now, summer was setting and it was a sweet September. Jane had just begun college and Paul had begun fifth form, but that didn’t stop her from being all over him. Maybe he was a younger boy, but only by a short period of time. Sixteen going on seventeen with a fifteen year old boy wasn’t awful, Jane taught him about music and he taught her. They learned guitar parts together and pooled all their money to buy records. Jane and him would test out their new records by making love sometimes, though Mimi had once caught Jane and Paul and she was very hesitant to leave the two troublemakers alone. Paul had just scrambled enough to buy the new Fats Domino album all by himself, not to keep. It would be a gift to Jane, he should probably be saving the gifts for her birthday considering it was coming up. Despite that, he thought she deserved a record. She was so pretty. Paul had even wrapped it up with the nicest blue wrapping paper with flowers and bows on it that used to be his mothers. Normally, he’d feel remorseful, but Jane just made him thrill. He tied a ribbon bow on it and tucked it under his armpit, ready to surprise her. Maybe he could get a kiss for this, maybe more. When he checked his reflection his stomach rolled with embarrassment, he didn’t like how he looked at all. He had a baby face and his hair looked a bit flat in the moment, his drainies were a big loose around his ankles. He looked too young for Jane, he knew. With his soft blushing cherub cheeks and small pointed nose. He tried to walk past the mirror, she already liked his looks, this was about the present. Paul walked out of the house confidently, and quite a bit quickly considering the frightening fact that his dad could catch him. He did not like that he was going out with Jane and she was leading him astray to rock and roll, smoking, and sex. He didn’t understand, but accepted it. He’d just have to be sneaky. He lived quite a walk away from Jane’s, but he was quick. He was just trying to be sure that the new record would stay intact and that it would look pristine. He couldn’t have himself sweating on her present, he was sure that no girl would like that. When he made it to Jane’s house he knew he couldn’t just knock. There was no chance that Mimi would let him in. She didn’t like him all too much anymore, thought that he had spoiled her sweet baby girl. Paul was pretty sure if anybody was to throw a fuss about that, Paul was the one that was corrupted by her. He didn’t mind at all, he quite liked being spoiled and evil. He listened to hear if there was a tv running or a record playing, but got spoiled with a much worse clue. He heard them talking. Not necessarily, actually. It was more Mimi yelling at Jane. He had to listen beneath the shrill mask of Mimi’s voice to hear what she was actually saying, and beneath that he heard Jane was scared instead of her typical rebellious wit. “Jane… I mean I knew you two were… Jane, you’re ruining your life! Your out here, sixteen years old and dressing like a hussy and putting yourself out there and you’re surprised when it hits you back in the face! I told you he was no good, and you didn’t listen! And now I’ll have to pick up your mess! You know you’re only sixteen, dear, it’s too early to throw it all away! You’re too young to get married, lord knows he is! He actually can’t, it’ll be almost a year until you can… amend this atrocity! And what if he doesn’t want to, wants to leave you single and a floozy! Then no man will marry you! Dear… I’m just disappointed and worried and scared and… so very mad at you. Every day you remind me more and more of your mother.” Mimi reprimanded. Jane didn’t snap with a response and Paul felt a shiver down his spine. He didn’t know what they were talking about, but he was pretty sure he was the ‘he’ in the question. Paul did not want to get married, as well. Even to Jane, he wasn’t interested. He would want to wait quite a few years before that would come to be. He loved Jane, for certain, but he was too young to even legally get married, let alone to desire it. He shivered, wishing he’d brought a sweater. Of course, when he was old enough he would marry Jane if he really had to, but he couldn’t think of a reason why he’d really have to. Jane’s voice cracked as it came out and Paul wasn’t even sure if it was her. He’d never heard her actually be scared before, never heard her cry. She was always tougher than he was, he had only cried in front of her once when he scraped his knees rather horribly. Paul was sure that Jane would never let him live that down, but she gave so easily. She helped bandage him up and kissed him. “I- I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean it and you know it. It was a mistake! Bu-but I do love him! I’m not just a floozy I really love him…” her voice cracked and was drawing off as she was no longer able to speak and Paul felt his heart flutter because between her broken sighs and cries she was saying she loved him. Paul was sure he was the ‘him’ in question. Mimi’s voice softened as he heard it. “Dear, I know you didn’t mean it. I was sure of that, your not stupid. And god, you’re not a floozy either. I just… that’s what you look like. Dear, I want you to look nice. I love you… I care about you and I’m sorry for approaching this aggressively… you just messed up and I don’t know how you’re going to pick this one up, Jane…” she must have been affected by Jane’s tears, because Mimi was never this gentle with her niece. Jane never cried, though, so it made sense. Jane suddenly burst into a melty fit of heavy sobs. The kind that would be screams if it weren’t for the fact that her throat was bogged down with acidic and hot tears that made speech nearly impossible. She then screamed, shrill and loud enough Paul was sure the neighbors could hear it “I need Paulie! I just need Paulie!” It was a nickname that Paul wasn’t familiar with. She didn’t say it to his face and Paul knew he needed to go in there and comfort her. Despite that, he also knew he couldn’t. That would ruin everything, she would know he was listening and it would be embarrassing to explain how long he stood there and worse that he still didn’t understand what was happening. He heard the sharp steps of flats on hardwood flooring and had to brace for what Mimi said. He knew the lady didn’t like him, thought that he was no good and a bad influence for her Jane. She must be closer to Jane now as he heard Jane whimpering like a sick dog desperate to be held. “Hey… hey… you can see him in the morning. If he behaves… if he’s rude just tell me, I’ll let his dad know.” Mimi aided and Paul felt his stomach lurch a bit. He knew that he shouldn’t be scared, he should be rushing to help Jane. It wasn’t very valiant of him and he couldn’t place himself why because he was sure that he shouldn’t be having instincts kicking in. He loved her and so he should be rushing to her, he didn’t know why he wasn’t and wouldn’t know forever. It was because he was a kid. Paul felt himself get sick, his stomach was churning. He should be standing up and being braver, he should be going in there and helping her and kissing her and holding her and telling her that it’ll be okay, whatever it is. He felt so horrible that he was leaving her high and dry. She was crying and he could hear it. It was a bit calmer and a bit less distressed. Maybe Mimi was holding her, it should be him. It was supposed to be him. He was the one that she cried for and she wanted him. He wasn’t brave enough, though. He wasn’t able to just go in the house, wasn’t able to knock, wasn’t able to do anything was stand against the siding and listen to her poor cries. She needed him, or needed something from him that he could not provide. - And then Paul threw up on their lawn. He should have taken the thought and consideration to think that maybe that sick feeling in his stomach wasn’t guilt alone manifesting on a physical plane. It might have actually been him being sick. He felt guilt as the vomit dribbled down his chin and school shirt, it was lucky that it didn’t spill over Jane’s record. He felt horrible because he knew it was Jane’s chore to clean up the lawn and he just made more work for her, but he couldn’t just clean it up. He paused and retched some more, making a horrible noise of scratching throats. He really shouldn’t be making this about him, even if it was that she couldn’t see him. Mimi paused and spoke to Jane “I’m just going to see what that was” and Paul didn’t let anything else process to him, so he had to run. He couldn’t get caught, so he picked up his legs and darted down the street at the top of his speed to her house, and surely Mimi saw him but he saw him in the distance. Even if she did recognize him, she couldn’t be sure. She probably did see that he threw up, though. Hopefully she could extend some sympathy to her daughter and clean up his sick instead of making her. So Paul made it home running, it was cold and almost night by now. He didn’t know what the problem was, but he also knew he had to marry Jane. He didn’t want to, but he would easily do it for her. He knew that he had to marry her and he could only do that in America, as he was too young to get married in England. He would borrow one of his fathers suits, he’d grow into it. He would sell everything he had to get Jane a small engagement ring if she wanted it. When Paul came rushing home breathing heavily he saw his father was back from work, drinking. “How much is a trip to the states, Da?” He asked while still huffing and puffing. His father looked at him sideways and spoke with a tang in his voice that was begging for Paul to reprimanded “Too much, and you’re not going.” He told him. Paul felt hot shame creeping up his face and he knew he couldn’t just ask again, so he’d have to ask a teacher and see if he could scramble that money together. His father must have seen the record because he asked. “What’s that, son? Don’t tell me you bought another record.” And Paul dashed up to his room to try not to be seen, he’d have to read every book he could and ask every teacher questions on how to get married at his young age. He needed to do it, for Jane, he couldn’t think of a reason why but he would find out. He’d steel his late mothers jewelry, even, if it meant Jane wouldn’t be mad at him.