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Julian could look back all he wanted and would never know the how or why he was there. He would never have an answer. He couldn’t tell you when a man called Six entered the picture. He had not seen him before, ever. The man that was clearly military trained and he towered over Julian’s broken form. It was as if he was being assessed. Whatever Six saw he gave a nod and collected him from the ground…that was when he passed out.
A now ex-drug lord who has been reduced to a shell of a man…was just taken. He wasn’t sure what the in-between looked like. All he knew was when he woke up he was no longer in Thailand. There was no way because…he was gazing into something downy blue…and no such color existed in a land of warm hues.
He woke up. There were a pair of soft sky blue eyes looking at him from behind crooked glasses. Kindness seemingly radiating from them along with traces of worry? For a moment Julian thought that his punishment was taken too far and he passed away. Could he be looking into the eyes of God?
After what felt like centuries but was merely seconds the eyes pulled back. It revealed a face with softer features than himself. Messy blonde hair paired with those soft blue eyes. He was even in a sweater? That matched the tranquil air this man exuded. Julian continued to stare without blinking, till his eyes blurred and he was forced to blink to focus. Only then did he realize the man was talking and he had to force himself to hear the man before him was speaking.
“Can you understand me?” He said softly, his voice as gentle as cotton was soft.
Julian nodded slightly, disbelief still attached to him like a second skin. There was a tender smile that formed on the others face as he stood up tp adjust the blanket over Julian. He was under a blanket? A very soft one it seemed. Everything here was soft thus far and it unnerved him a little.
“Good, good,” the man said as he looked him over before siting down again, “Okay, you’ve been hurt pretty badly. Cro-Six, brought you to me. He told me your name. He said you had been treated but needed a safe place to rest. I’ll be taking care of you from now on, alright, Julian?”
Julian nodded again.
There was really nothing more he could do than that. He couldn’t move his arms. He really just couldn’t move. Whether that was because of the pain medicine or due to unknown trauma in he body, he didn’t know. What he did knew was far little. He had no idea where he was. What the full state of his body was. Or even how he ended up here. Agreement was the easiest solution at this point. Thus far this imprisonment wasn’t anything he thought it was going to be when had had been collected.
He was at the mercy of this unknown person, a person as soft as silk.
That was when the realization of everything began to set in. Instead of severing his hands, which would have been a mercy, they were brutalized. Broken beyond recognition. The damage crawled up his arms but not nearly to the same extent. Both hands and arms were currently in casts. He would not have been able to care for himself that was clear. It now made sense that the blonde had been caring for him even while unconscious.
Care.
Something he was not familiar with.
——
Slowly, Julian learned details as time passed by.
Ryland Grace was a teacher. It was the end of the school year when Julian was brought to him by a man named Six. Six was the one he saw before he blacked out, the unknown man that had taken him. The identity of who the mystery man was only made clear due to Six stopping by to check on Grace…Grace knew Six, they seemed very comfortable with each other. Six went out of his way each time to look over the apartment and its surroundings every time he visited. Six was protective of Grace. Six trusted Grace to care for Julian…but why?
Grace didn’t even seem to know.
All the teacher had was Six asking him to look after Julian for him. Grace was told the ex-boxer was in need of somewhere safe to heal and was not offered much more than that. The blonde teacher agreed because trusted Six and his judgement. Then a day later Julian was wheeled in on a gurney by Six and an unidentified woman and his medical files were given to Grace by an older man. This was all Grace could offer when Julian had finally been able to ask.
So, he was in Grace’s home.
When he was brought to Grace by Six, the teacher had been shocked at the state Julian was in. Grace cared for him as if he were caring for a child. They slept in the same room, so Grace could be there when needed. Eventually, moving to sleep in the same bed as it was thankfully big enough for both men. Never made him speak more than he was willing, which wasn’t much. Fed him. Assisted him in the bathroom when he was healthy enough for that. Bathed him. Grace did not make a show of it, he just did it with cautious chatter that kept the silence at bay.
When he finally was able to remove the hard casts in place for braces, Julian was astonished that his hands even looked like hands. Grace had shown him his x-rays. He knew the damage that was done to him and Grace… Grace gingerly held each hand, cleaned them, wrapped them and placed each one in a brace. The teacher treated each damaged hand so gently. So gently…it hurt.
Broke down more of the wall that Julian had live behind all his life. He looked to Grace with what the teacher seemed to interrupt as sadness. It could have been. Julian wasn’t sure what he felt anymore. If he felt anymore. Strong arms came around him as Grace tenderly pulled him into a hug. Keeping the gentleness even in a secure embrace.
“You’re safe here.”
——
Months later and he was introduced to the teacher’s friends.
Rocky was initially stand-offish to Julian. He was upset his friend kept canceling on him and Julian was the reason, it didn’t help that he didn’t speak much at all. The ex-drug lord was never one for words as he was taught to use his fists to settle things. It took Adrian to speak to Rocky…in another room about his behavior did he settle down. Grace then took over the room and began explaining why he had brought them over, to ask for help for Julian, and explain why he kept his friends from coming over and having to cancel plans.
With his permission, Julian’s x-rays were shared with Rocky and Adrian both were horrified at the extensive damage he had gone though. This was why he had been busy all summer and had to cancel plans. His brother had asked for help for Julian because of his job and Grace said yes. Julian’s condition was still touch and go. That was why he didn’t shake hands with them earlier, Julian was still using the braces as well. That might even be why he was keeping distance.
Six was Grace’s brother?
Rocky became a lot less crabby towards him after that. He knew he was dealing with someone who had survived severe physical trauma and that always carried mental trauma with it as well. His distrust toward Julian lessened and he began listening more, starting to take notes, as Adrian took over the conversation. They were the more empathic of the pair. With Grace’s assistance they showed the couple the state ex-boxers hands were in.
Heavy scared for the initial damage and surgeries. The damaged nerves would never heal completely. He barely felt temperature differences anymore, pain was sporadic. Grace asked if they could help create a mobility aid for Julian. Due to the damage he was still in braces because it took longer for the bones in his hands to fuse back together. He would need aids but everything on the market was just pathetic and Grace was honest enough to need help.
Julian sat there as Grace re-bandaged his hands with the same gentleness he always had. Speaking to his friends and Rocky perking up at the thought of building something like that. A challenge he said. Julian had his own feeling on the matter, yet, he deferred the decision to Grace. As much as he had allowed himself to become disabled, the price he paid. Grace knew none of it. Six must have known though. He had to have but there was something he saw in him enough to bring him here…he would allow his life to be guided for now.
For there was a dark part of him the drinking in the tenderness he was being given freely. A drug that he couldn’t market nor profit from…but was just as addicting and his dose was getting higher and higher.
He wasn’t sure he would want to kick this even if he could.
——
Julian was just getting out of the braces when he was given a mobility aid for his hands.
Rocky brought them over, a mix of pride and healthy skepticism in his features. He said they were a prototype after all and would need feedback for improvements yet he still finished them quicker than what Grace had thought he would. After all, Rocky and Adrian had their own jobs to worry about, to which Rocky called Grace stupid and moved on describing everything to Julian. The teacher groaned and complained to Adrian who did nothing but chuckle. Julian had learned after all this time Rocky did everything he could to get on Grace's nerves but it was all out of love.
These prototypes were something else, you could definitely tell they were made by an engineer. They started at his wrist as a support wrap then came to a piece of aluminum that covered the back of his hand. Between the hand and metal there was a cooling cushion to protect his hand from further damage. From there hinged bars came out from the flat piece and wrapped around segment of his fingers with soft velcro. There were wires that traveled to each finger from the aluminum, there must be mechanisms inside the casing he could see.
He was told by Rocky that this would assist with building up strength and support his hands. They would change out pieces to figure out what works best for him. Julian accepted just based on the joy that Grace had on his face. He was happier for these gauntlets than Julian was but he found he would walk through fire for this teacher. He did not know when it happened. He didn't know if it was quick or slow but his priories had shifted to just existing with this man who care for him without question. Julian wasn't even sure he had priorities now...his entire structure of life was being written and he found didn't mind it.
As Rocky explained everything, Adrian and Grace being the more gentle ones helped fit his damaged hands into the prototype gauntlets. To protect his hands they were still wrapped up just incase but it was only a couple thin layers of gauze. The gauntlets were strong but delicate that allowed Julian more movement in his hands. They may be a permeant edition to his life and that was something he had to come to terms with. At least he would be able to assist Grace more around the apartment than he had before.
Rocky would often checked-in to see how the mechanisms were holding up. He would give Rocky a list of what was working, what had hurt him (Grace’s additions), and what wasn’t co-operating. He wrote it down with dates and everything so he didn’t have try to speak it all, nor try to remember it. The hand writing was shaky but Rocky didn’t mind. He seemed to accept that Julian was nearly mute and attributed it to the trauma besides it was a good record which the engineer appreciated. He would take the gauntlets with him and bring them back for another test
——
Months passed by, and the school year had now ended and it was summer again. A full year passing since he was given to Grace.
Things that started as necessity became rhythm. They slept together still, closer now, in each others arms. Sleeping apart didn’t work well, as they were so used to each others presence. It was just natural. They cooked together, went shopping together, catching Grace as he tripped over himself again. Went on walks together at Grace’s insistence, the teacher holding his hand (prototypes or not) as they did so. He would never say no to Grace. Julian began to smile more, very small, barely noticeable but there.
Julian became an assistant boxing coach for teenagers. He was offered a full coach position but turned it down, sighting his hands as the reason. They were still in the prototype aid but he could offer input and took care of most assistant work. Typing was a challenge but he managed. Julian didn’t want responsibility of coaching anyway, he’d rather not live that part of his life again but it was the only legal thing he had to work with.
He met Six as Courtland, Grace’s brother. He met Grace’s other brother Colt who was initially suspicious of the man now living with his brother like they were a couple. Were they a couple? Yet, when Courtland didn’t react and actually began talking to the ex-boxer as if he were a normal person, the stuntman lightened up. He began to crack jokes only getting Grace to groan at him. When he started trying to Julian about childhood Grace, the teacher jumped him and it even got an extremely short chuckle out of Julian having never seen this side of Grace. If Six was fine with Julian then there was nothing Colt had to worry about. He didn’t speak much when people were around but that was alright, Grace filled the silence in ways he never could. He had seemingly gain the approval of the older brothers, did he need the approval? Were they really more than just close? He knew they were but the label never mattered.
As with the good, came the bad. He noticed the darkness that creeped around Grace’s edges when his family left or his friends departed. Grace didn’t have many friends. Julian learned that in the year he had lived with the teacher. Didn’t have many people he interacted with unless it was the diner or the book store he stopped at frequently. Grace was more a social creature than he was willing to admit. He was happier during the school year than he was during summer. There was too much to do and he doted on the children as if they were his own. He had distractions. Distractions
Grace would drop lines of ‘he doesn’t want to keep them’, ‘they have their own lives’, ‘I can’t expect them to stay in one place with a world to explore,’. All phrases meant to disguise what he was feeling but Julian noticed and he would hold Grace as the teacher had done for him before. That darkness would fade and the two would carry on with their day. Each time Grace would bounce back faster till Julian didn’t really see that dark part rear it’s ugly head. Talk of Julian moving out never surfaced. He didn’t want to leave even if he was given a choice. He wanted to stay where he was and stay he would.
The two didn’t have much. But they were stable and dare he say happy. He found himself happy with Grace.
But of course happiness never seemed to last long for Julian, if it were ever present at all.
There was a break in.
They wanted valuables.
There were none.
The intruders were pissed.
They had guns.
Julian couldn’t defend Grace, the prototype wasn’t made for that. He did the only thing he could think of. He covered Grace with his body. Cradling the man close as he move Grace away from the intruders. No one would get to Grace, even if it cost him everything.
The last thing he heard was a gunshot…and a scream.
“NO!!”
When he woke up again…
He woke up…?
There was Ryland right next to his bed, the same way he had been the first time. They were in a hospital now the beeping of the machine steady next to his head. This time though there was more sadness in his downy blue eyes as he held Julian’s damaged hand to his face. No brace between them, no bandages or gauze, skin to skin. The warmest Julian had ever felt in his damaged hands in so long.
“Please,” began the teacher, sniffling as tears finally escaped, “P-Please, don’t do that again. I d-don’t know what I would do if I lost you…”
What? He was important? He was important to Ryland…
It then clicked. That darkness in Ryland was loneliness.
Ryland still had his family but they were no longer a constant in his life as they had once been. He would never admonish Courtland…Six as he was the sole reason Julian was here in the U.S. once more. Nor could he hold Colt accountable with his fast paced career, loosing track of time was inevitable. Rocky and Adrian loved Ryland as one of their own but also had their own lives and traveled frequently.
All were leaving the teacher by himself. In detrimental mindset that was as strong as iron bars were. Where he was the problem. Couldn’t keep people close. Even those who loved him were always just in orbit around him…never next to him. None stayed in the physical sense because their lives wouldn’t allow it and Ryland would never force someone to stay… That sort of mind set took years to form and he could only wonder what had aided in the creation of that world view. The view of Ryland being the problem…something that he never was.
Ryland was so lonely…
Maybe that is why Six had brought him to the youngest for just that reason. He knew what lurked in his youngest brother’s subconscious and being the eldest he tried to fix it. Having Ryland take care of someone soothed that dark part in him. In a sense it was almost as if the eldest gifted him to Ryland. An apology gift for being distant, for having no choice but to be. Julian had no qualms with such a thing, if that was the intention. Six was a better man than he was, he didn’t loose a brother.
Julian couldn’t pay back everything Ryland had done for him. He was damaged beyond what normal people could deal with. Few would spend the resources or time on him, just trying to give him a normal life as Ryland had. He didn’t look at Julian with pity. He only looked at him as someone in need of help, someone he could help. That was not the same as pity. It was purely Ryland.
Julian allowed himself to be greedy. He would take everything Ryland gave him. He would stay with the person that brought him peace. They would have to more than shoot him to keep him from this man. This being as close to blessings given human form he could find. He was staying.
“I’ll always be here, Ryland,” Julian said with as much conviction as he could in the damaged state he was in. He moved his thumb the small amount he was able to, caressing the distressed teacher's cheek, damp with shed sorrow. He watched as his distraught keeper leaned into his damaged hand, almost savoring the returned comfort. The evidence was there and the choice was simple.
For he was Ryland’s and nothing could change that. He was a gift given and he would willingly stay in the collar woven of a spider’s silk. Only for Ryland Grace.
A companion.
Maybe even…a protector.
…A protector…
He would do that for Ryland.
Maybe this was the closest he would ever come to the feeling of forgiveness.
This earthbound angel.
His Ryland Grace.