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Hummer was guilty, and it was devastating.
for as long as Hummer can remember, he has been a faithful worshiper of the Leviathan; his entire life was dedicated to everything Leviathan. everything from his bodys model and maintenance, to even the way he dressed and lived was in the Leviathans image.
countless years of worship, studying, growing and becoming under the Leviathans guidance, and he was done in by a single man.
a man who would not, could not feel the same.
Hummer wanted to die.
had it been simply love, Hummer would not care nearly as much. everyone loved, love was no different regardless of the gender. he just wished it was just Love.
rather than merely love this man, Hummer worshiped him. he Worshiped Wifies.
from the manner of his speech, to the way he merely stood, his posture. Hummer undeniably worshiped it all, cataloging each moment as special. every shitty joke the other laughed a little too hard at, that special extra exhale at the end of each fit of cackles.
a turn of head, brunette hair catching a glow from the sun before another diving attempt. eyes just as bright and beautiful.
Hummer adored it, he hated that he did. he wished he hated Wifies.
he wished he could hate Wifies for more or less ruining his entire life.
one man had made him betray the trust of Levi, had made him lose his ways and stray from the path that the Leviathan had graciously set for him. it was only worse that he did not attempt to right himself, that he left himself stray further - and further into the sin of betraying his God.
each time hed pay a price quite frankly worse than the last. minor incidents turn to freak accidents. scuffs in plans turn to hardcore bans and arguments. Wifies nearly leaves to interview a deceiver about a freakishly false conclusion at the museum. the last one still makes Hummers hands shake and creak.
he hadnt lubricated his joints in awhile. he hadnt done maintenance in just as long.
perhaps Levis greatest punishment was that it wasnt Love love.
its so impossibly easy to forget the world isnt simply black and white, but also a multitude of greys and the inbetween.
thered be no soppy confession, no heart break plot or cheesy romcom. because there was no romance.
Hummer loved Wifies, but he didnt Love him.
most days, it felt like he were part of Wifies. like one couldnt exist without the other, that they were extensions of each other. talking in sync, mimicking each others habits, sharing the same interests and even abode. it seemed they were perfect with one another, made to be at the others side.
a fish and its gills, an ocean and its waves.
there was Levis second greatest punishment, Wifies didnt feel the same.
at first Hummer thought it was a blessing, worried by his own fondness and admiration, yet was quickly comforted by his own carelessness of Wifies marital status. that had nothing to do with him afterall, he looked not for a ring on his metal fingers or exclusivity. just Wifies.
all he needed was his friend. no fancy label or talk.
that feeling was quickly overturned when Hummer noticed, just as quickly, that he would never be more than a “good enough” research partner. never the friend he sought to be, never more than a tv-headed robotic companion with a Leviathan “interest” too big to be synthetic.
why was love that asked for nothing still so painful? a heart, regardless of material making, still beat for the barer. so why did it matter if his was plastic?
why did he even care? Hummer didnt know but he knew even research partners wanted to be more than Good Enough.
Hummer wanted to be more than “Good enough” Hummer wanted to be more than just a research aid.
yet Hummer spoke nothing of it, did nothing of it. hed accept his punishment with grace and humility knowing it was his own fault for disappointing the Leviathan.
He had never been a good enough disciple for such a glorious being. He hadnt even been good enough for Wifies.
before, hed done everything he could to repent. praying and pleading to the mighty beast for forgiveness, cutting down on precious idle chatter with Wifies and instead doubling his efforts on his search for the Leviathan. Hummer had even attempted to distance from the other man, acting erratic in hopes to dissuade him, even ignoring him and disappearing in spontaneous intervals.
however it seems that regardless of the color of your medal within someones life, theyll find you important enough to keep you even if it only causes pain. Wifies would not let Hummer go.
so Hummer, like he always did with Wifies, folded. because to Hummer, they were friends. Wifies was his most precious friend.
Hummer would always walk that turn at the crossroads if it meant he could be by his side. even if Wifies left him behind.
Wifies did that a lot, hopping server to server, person to person, idea to idea. Wifies always had something to say or do or try. something without Hummer in consideration.
perhaps thats something Wifies and the Leviathan had in common, not considering Hummer.
perhaps thats why Levi took Wifies instead of him.
Why?
why did Levi not accept him?
did he not repent thoroughly? was he ever even able to?
was it even possible for someone like him to have deserved the grace from the Leviathan?
Hummer didnt fight. he didnt kick or squirm as his mechanical body sunk deeper and deeper within the ocean, vision spazzing and jittering as his screen was overtaken by warnings and pop-ups. body corroded and waterlogged as his final heart began to break.
Hummer did not fight what he knew was coming all along. what he had feared all along.
this was Levis last punishment.
he had failed Levi, but not the Leviathan. Not Wifies.
Hummer died watching all that he worshipped fade from his grasp. he died with a silver medal taped upon his chest, only a second place to both his cherished ones.
At the very least he died within their lives at all.