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Jimin is running late. He’s got one leg in his pants, 17 per cent on his phone, cannot fucking find his keys, and he’s running late.
He manages to hop into Jungkook’s room and complete the pants process at the same time, which he would absolutely be putting in his resume if he still were in need of a job.
“Jungkook-ah.” He crouches by the bedside and shakes the big dark lump in front of him. When it doesn’t move, he squints, shaking harder. “Jungkook-ah!”
Jungkook jerks awake, sleepy and confused. “Mm? Ah, hyung.” He drops his head back down, curling towards Jimin. “Whatisit.”
“I need your keys. Can I—”
“Mm.”
“You won’t need them? I’m late and the door’s locked, and I don’t know where mine—”
“I’ll be here. Take em.”
He aims for what he thinks is the crown of Jungkook's head to drop a grateful kiss. “Thanks. I owe you.”
Blindly, he looks around the desk. A coffee mug, a pair of glasses, Jungkook's weird space keyboard, and eventually, keys. He snatches them up. “I’m just running so fucking late, shit. Oh my god.”
“Hyung.”
“What?”
A naked tattooed arm peeks out from the covers, hand held in a fist. “Fighting.”
With a laugh, Jimin shuts the door.
🖤
First day goes well, all things considered.
The insane pace of the office is no match for Jimin's sharpness. He’s got everyone’s names down by lunch break, and he’s already received compliments on his—freshly cut, styled and dyed his preferred honey blond—hair. He’s running on such a high he doesn’t even notice the three hours of overtime pass over him until his stomach violently coomplains, and he puts aside the client files he’d been memorising to continue with tomorrow.
The fatigue hits him like an anvil to the head on the metro back. At least it’s not rush hour, so he’s got a bit of wall to lean against.
His legs feel even heavier when he gets to their building. His body senses rest is near, giving out on him just in time for him to collapse on a bed.
Jungkook’s on the couch, legs kicking in the air to the tune of his music, headphones on, and the sight's enough for the last of Jimin's strength to abandon him. He sheds the suit jacket and bag and practically dives onto the couch, draping himself all over Jungkook's back.
Jungkook doesn't even startle. Calmly, he takes his headphones off, puts them away, and lies his head on his forearms. "Yo."
“Yo.”
“What time do you call this, young man? I almost sent out a search party for you.”
“I know, it’s terrible. But I need to play catch up.” He yawns, nuzzling into the warmth of Jungkook’s back. He smells good as always, the expensive fabric softener they fight over at the store settling the headache that’s been building in the back of Jimin’s skull. His hair's still damp too, so he must have gone to the gym. "I thought I'd find you streaming already.”
“Can’t stream on an empty stomach.”
“Why didn’t you eat, then?”
“Cause,” he says, like a brat, and then throws Jimin off his back to squish him between the couch and himself. “I made pasta.”
Jimin's stomach screams at him. “Oh…” He slips his arms around Jungkook's waist, squeezing, already tasting delicious, delicious dinner. “Like… a lot?”
“Mmhm. It’s gone cold by now.”
“Right, right.” He tucks his chin onto Jungkook’s shoulder, spies a tiny little smile that he can't help but mirror. “But you’ll warm it up, right? And you'll let me have some?”
“What's in it for me?”
"Hyung's appreciation."
"Lame."
With one final squeeze that brings out an exaggerated groan from Jungkook, Jimin flops onto the back of the couch, liberating him. Stretching, Jungkook turns to look at him, slowly observing the outfit, crisp white shirt and grey pants.
Jimin stays very still, though everything in him is squirming at the sudden undivided attention.
“You look all fancy.”
“Looks good, right? Can’t recommend it for twelve hour days, though.”
With one more second of looking, Jungkook hums, then turns towards the kitchen and the promised pasta.
His figure is familiar as Jimin’s own in the mirror. He cuts an impressive one, if you don’t know him. All that black, those piercings glinting on his ears, lip, eyebrow. His hair’s a little styled, straightened, the way he likes to wear it for his streams. He’s black where Jimin’s white, loose where Jimin’s proper.
He’s singing under his breath, tattoo peeking from where he’s pulled his sleeves up to cook.
Pretty Jungkookie, he thinks, and bites his tongue.
Later, dishes washed, showered, moisturised, and absolutely exhausted, Jimin shuffles into bed.
Not even the bucket of delicious pasta was enough to fully turn his brain off. It's still buzzing after a long day of client names and dates and meeting notes.
A notification lights up the pitch black of the room.
JEONGAMES IS LIVE - PARTY ANIMALS 3~~
The website is of little interest to Jimin. He only made an account so he can favourite Jungkook’s. The notifications always come late, so he's not surprised when he opens it and Jungkook is already in the middle of the game.
He’s in his little square in the corner of the screen, wearing those cute glasses with the transparent frames. Jimin teased him over them, something like oh jungkook-ah, are we already that old? He loves, them, though. They make Jungkook’s eyes pop even more, somehow.
In real life, Jungkook alternates between bouts silence where he’ll communicate with weird faces and grunts, and bouts of unstoppable yapping. On stream, he’s a constant chatterbox, and Jimin loves it, even though it’s not his real voice. It’s a little more put up, a little polished.
Still, the chat eats it up.
He’s got a steady rhythm of three streams per week, plus some youtube content Jimin understands even less. How Jungkook makes a living out of this is a mystery, but he does, and the rent has always been paid on time, five years now.
He doesn’t plan on watching the whole thing. History has showed Jungkook can go on all night, and Jimin's got work in the morning. Just for a little while.
“We’re playing the third round, if you’re only joining us right now, and—hey! Who pushed me like that!” He laughs. “Yah, that’s so not cool of you. Chat, which one was it? Tell me so I can get them too next time. Seriously, you betray my trust like that as soon as I let my guard down, aish…see if I let you in next round.”
With a smile, Jimin puts the phone on his pillow and closes his eyes, letting Jungkook’s voice lull him to sleep.
🖤
When the overtime is no longer self-inflicted, things get out of hand.
The interviewers, even three rounds in, failed to mention he was joining the company at a time of serious unrest. From what kitchen gossip he's been able to extract, two higher management people were terminated over some kind of scandal no one will spill on yet, so the rest of the team is scrambling to catch up and re-group with several major deadlines on the horizon.
“Seriously, it’s a mess,” he tells Jungkook on his third week, eating uncut gimbap like it’s a sandwich, legs swinging on the counter. “My direct supervisor is having panic attacks in the toilets, I’m pretty sure. It’s the women’s toilets, so I can’t verify, but she’s definitely on her last nerve.”
“Maybe she’ll quit and you’ll be promoted.”
“And you think I can handle that right now?” he yells, mouth full with the last bite. “Yah! I haven’t managed to leave on time yet, imagine if I had actual responsibilities.”
Jungkook only giggles, unmoved by this potential future tragedy. "Maybe then you’d get fired and I could finally convince you to come stream with me.”
“Ah, that again.”
“Hyung, I’m telling you, it’s good money. Plus, we’d get to play all day.”
“All night, more like. And I suck at games. You know I do.”
“That’s why it would be fun.” Jimin kicks him and Jungkook dodges it, his laughter filling the kitchen at the same time as the rich smell of brewing coffee. He watches him carefully put it into his thermos—purple, the rare show of colour—and then Jungkook comes to stand between his legs, bringing it almost to his mouth.
“Come on.” Those damn eyes are twinkling something fierce, and his voice has gone all soft and mellowy. Too much for Jimin’s current level of exhaustion. “Drink this and come play with me.”
“And when I have to get up at six tomorrow, who’s going to shove me out of bed? You? You’ll be dead to the world.”
“Just a sip, hyung. Just half an hour. You know everyone is always asking after you.”
“It’s weird anybody even cares.”
“You’ve been with me as long as they’ve been with me. Of course they care.”
Those words in combination with those lethal puppy eyes test Jimin's iron will and perfect composure. He pushes Jungkook away with his foot, kicking when his ankle is immediately captured and immobilised.
“What is this, huh?” Jungkook laughs, setting his coffee aside to catch Jimin’s other leg, too. “Always kicking at me. What are you, a donkey?”
“You brat, is that how you talk to—”
Jungkook pulls him forward, and somehow, Jimin finds himself with his legs wrapped around Jungkook’s waist, ass halfway off the counter.
“Yah! If you drop me, Jeon Jungkook—”
“I won’t drop you, oh my god.” He bounces Jimin once, just to show off, the gymrat, like it's not obvious enough already. Jimin scrambles to catch hold of his shoulders, trying to steady himself and calm the flush spreading across his entire fucking body, fucking Jeon Jungkook, god fucking damnit. Iron will, Jimin, iron will. “When have I ever dropped you.”
“Put me down.” Jungkook completes two squats with an armful of Jimin like it's nothing before Jimin demands again, more firmly, “Put me down!”
He listens, but he's still annoying about it. Instead of ankles he grabs his wrists now, holding them behind Jimin’s back, a happy teasing smile on his face. "Come play with me."
“You exhaust me.” He tries to break out of the hold. Nothing. Jungkook smirks, victorious. “Jungkook!” He half-cries, half-laughs, dropping his head onto Jungkook’s chest. “Hyung’s tired, please.”
Hold now loosening obediently, Jungkook brings his hand to Jimin's nape, pressing into the tense muscles at the top of his spine. Pathetic and cuddle-starved, Jimin lets Jungkook take his weight, just for a second.
A long, long second.
“Are you ever going to work your actual hours, do you think?”
“When I get the hang of things,” Jimin murmurs. God, he could fall asleep right here. “Whenever that is.”
“Mm. You like it, though?”
“I do. It’s a mess now, but.I can see myself doing really well there, Jungkook-ah. Staying for a long time.”
“Okay,” he says, voice going all soft again. Some part of Jimin wishes he sounded like this in his streams, so he could fall asleep to the sweet sound. “Go to bed, then. I’ll keep it down.”
Jimin pulls back against every instinct that's begging him to burrow closer. His gaze grazes past Jungkook’s hooded eyes, the pink of his mouth. His hair is a bit messy today, so Jimin pulls the hood up for him, settling it prettily. “Thanks.”
"Mm."
They stay there for another second—long, long second—before they go their seperate ways for the night.
🖤
Intense, intense, and more intense.
The office is nearly empty but for their department, feverishly bustling and ignoring the clock that signaled the end of the work day two full hours ago.
"I need to text my boyfriend," his colleague says when people start to remove blazers and loosen ties. "We were having dinner out tonight. Booked a restaurant and everything." Her cheek is squeezed against her palm and she's tied her hair up with a pencil, leaning dangerously over to one side. It's not her first overtime this week either. "Nobody waiting for you back at home?"
"Just my flatmate," Jimin says, and immediately feels a pang in his heart at the lacking description.
Because really, he and Jungkook have been attached at the hip from the moment they met in a way that Jimin acknowledges might not be entirely normal. They're no strangers to some strange looks or awkward laughs when their relationship comes up against outsiders. Flatmates for that long, huh? And what do your girls say about it?
No one to speak of now, but in the past, Jimin's girlfriend went as far to give him an ultimatum: you move out of there and we find a place together or we're done. She made the transition to ex quite quickly after that.
It's been a while since he needed that kind of thing. His romantic life right now consists of some selective sleeping around when the mood takes him. Less and less as he sinks into adulthood, but all he needs is a club and the right song to have people eating out of the palm of his hand.
Those one night stands never make it farther, though. He never even brings them home. Jungkook gets upset by impromptu visits, stressed out to a degree that simply isn't worth it, so Jimin's learned to take his business elsewhere. He gets to walk out, and Jungkook gets to protect his peace. Two problems solved.
As for Jungkook, his last relationship is three years old and his fling counter is zero. Or maybe he's just doing things quietly, in his private way, and doesn't want Jimin butting into his business.
Jimin is so curious he could die, but he'll be damned if he makes things weird first.
Focusing on the presentation that's been dropped into their laps with zero warning is a monumental task that Jimin's fried brain is failing at spectacularly. His colleague isn't fairing much better. Still talking about the plans she's cancelling, damn, Jimin's not retained a single word…
Her phone rings. "Oh, there he is. Honey?" Suddenly she's come back to life, heading out of the room with a rapidfire click-clack of heels. "I'll be home late again, I'm sorry…"
Sighing, Jimin picks up his own phone. Should he text Jungkook? Would that be weird?
Before he can make a decision, a notification.
JEONGAMES is streaming - C H I L L <3
Weird. Jungkook only ever does evening streams.
"Not a lot of people around today, huh? I know it's not my regular time. I'll still keep the later live, don't worry. Just felt like coming around earlier tonight."
There's some music playing in the background, and Jungkook hums along to it as he reads the chat. Jimin watches him bite his lip in concentration.
"You all seem so shocked." He laughs. "I know we keep to our schedule, but things change sometimes, right? I felt like coming earlier today. I was bored. Y'all don't want me here or what?" The chat floods with declarations that make Jungkook smile prettily, leaning back in his chair. "Okay, okay, good. I mean. If you don't want to be here, you can go. But I'll play some music and maybe play something chill, just for a while. Anyone got any recommendations? Short, story based…no fighting today, I'll keep that for the regular stream."
He watches Jungkook choose a game and pull it up as he keeps up effortless chatter, a true pro at this. Everything's the same : the headset, the glasses, the purple thermos, the oversized cosy outfit. Yet Jungkook seems unsettled. He's fidgeting a lot, twisting his thumb ring around endlessly, biting at his bottom lip.
What can have him so anxious in the middle of the day?
He writes a comment, hoping it will make him smile though he won't know it comes from him.
jungkook-ah, you look really handsome
Lost in his game set-up, the comment flies right by before Jungkook can see it.
fighting, Jimin tries again, and puts the phone away just in time for his colleague to return, pout firmly in place.
"This place sucks."
Jimin smiles in solidarity, hands clasped and thinking of Jungkook's stress bitten lips.
🖤
He's gaining ground at the office. He's found his feet, has stopped asking stupid rookie questions, and can follow most of the conversations between his managers effortlessly, no matter what obscure acronym or old project name they use.
In the middle of the work day, without fail, his phone buzzes with a notification.
Jungkook's stopped prefacing the afternoon streams by now, just starts them like everyone should expect them. People seem to have caught up, because the chat flies by just as quickly as his usual streams.
They're a lot different than his usual streams. He rarely games in the afternoons, mostly sips on his coffee, twists the chair lazily from side to side. Sings under his breath. Once, Jimin watched him hum and stare at some off camera spot for two full minutes. The entire chat had though the stream had frozen.
Jimin's started using it more now, just for fun.
handsome, he sends again.
sing more, please, you have a nice voice, when Jungkook hums in the lulls.
play less scary games, I can't watch »:((
He gets a couple shout-outs, and it's a funny feeling. There's a certain charm to Jungkook when he does this, a way he comes alive that's different than his usual face. Not quite another person, but a certain confidence, smoothness, that his home Jungkookie doesn't take out often.
Today, Jimin's eating lunch in a corner of the cafeteria, airpods in, as Jungkook drinks his coffee. He's got the windows open, a new look for the space. He swings in his chair and rambles, mostly, hums some music. When the mood takes him, he'll read out a question or two. Jimin writes some, like what colour would you dye your hair or best gift you've ever gotten or dream holiday. They mostly get lost in the torrent of the chat.
"Cold or hot. Cold," Jungkook responds without hesitation. "The heat is my personal worst enemy. Cold, cold, cold. I don't care about everyone spamming me with summer, you guys are wrong. This is my house. What I say goes." He scrolls down in the chat. "Favourite ice cream flavour mango-strawberry." Another scroll. "Evening shower. Bananas over pears." Another. "Spicy, for sure. For sure for sure. Oh, boys. Mostly. Not always, but when I do, boys."
Confused, Jimin opens the chat, scrolling furiously to find the relevant question. They're standing out, paid for by the user, so it doesn't take too long: do you like boys or girls?
Boys.
Boys?
His hands move fast. so you've been with a boy?
It's not oversized, but Jungkook reads it all the same. "I have been with a boy, yeah. Although, been with is very vague. I'm not going to get into details, but I was in a relationship when I was younger, and he was my first boyfriend. Only, for now."
Jimin tries to think of another question to ask, but Jungkook looks away, continuing. "It's funny, because everyone talks about it as this this or that game, right? That's if you're even asking the question. But there's a lot of inbetweens and complexities that we just don't consider, and a lot falls through the cracks. It's a pity." He hums. "It's all so fluid, anyway…these categories are very silly." He shrugs. "Maybe you don't agree. I don't know. Most people seem to not agree."
A scroll. "Spiderman over iron man, but only if you put a gun to my head."
Jimin clicks off.
(He thinks about it the whole rest of the day.)
For the first time in weeks, he makes it home by seven.
Jungkook is mid-stream then—the original gaming stream. Jimin doesn't want to bother him, so he tries to be quiet, but he has to pass behind his door to get to the bathroom.
"Huh?" he hears a few moments later. "Someone behind me? Nice try. You think I was born yesterday?" Then, when the entire chat must chime in, he says, "Guys, seriously. This isn't funny. I'm alone at home."
"Seriously? Y'all are not fucking with me? If you are, I'm shutting down the channel."
Jimin stifles a laugh behind his hand. He's got his back pressed to the wall next to Jungkook's door, so he gets caught as soon as he steps out—Jungkook jumps, eyes widening with shock before he realises who he's looking at.
"Sorry," he mouths.
Jungkook brings his hand to his heart. "Damn, hyung. What are you doing here?"
"In my home?" He cocks his head to the side. "I wonder."
"No," he smiles, "I meant, home early."
Fourty five minutes of overtime and who knows how long in transport back isn't very early to Jimin, but hey. "They took pity on us. The big presentation thing was today."
"How did it go?"
"Good. Honestly, we'd redone it so many times I would have cried tears of relief even if they'd thrown tomatoes at us. Done is all I wanted."
Jungkook laughs, then looks back inside. "Wait here."
"I actually need to—"
Jungkook's back at his desk, slipping the headphones halfway on. "Okay so you're all good, there was someone there, and I have to go now. Oh yeah, jkitty, it was a burglar, and he let me come sign off before robbing me blind." He chuckles. "No, it's Jimin. I have to go." Silence for a beat, and then, "See him? Ah, I don't know if he wants to. Hyung?"
"Mm?"
"The chat wants you to come say hi."
Jimin peeks his head inside the room, finding Jungkook's hand over the camera lense.
"You don't have to," he says in a quiet voice. "I'll come up with something."
Jimin hesitates for a long second before properly stepping in. Unreasonably nervous, he straightens his hair, fixes his shirt.
"Are you sure?" Jungkook mouths at him.
"Yes," Jimin says, and only then does Jungkook put his hand down.
He comes to crouch by the monitor, one hand on Jungkook's chair and one on the table. "Hi, everyone," he says, looking at the chat. Jungkook nudges him, pointing at the camera with a scrunchy smile. "Oh, right. Sorry, I'm not a professional like this guy here." He waves. "Hi. Sorry to interrupt." The chat flies by in a rush of exclamation points, but Jungkook plucks out something.
"Stay for a game, says lklight. Ah, good luck. I've been trying to get him to come play with me for ages, and he just refuses."
"I know you're only trying to expose how much I suck at this."
"It will be fun anyway!" He whines a little, still smiling brightly. He's turned to look up at him, close, and maybe it's because they haven't seen each other in days or because there's thousands of invisible eyes on them, but Jimin feels a little flustered.
can't Jimin join the afternoon streams? The question is five times bigger than the other ones, paid for by the user.
"Oh, I'm at work at that time," Jimin responds, and then repeats the question too, when he realises that not everyone saw it pass by at the same time. This is more complicated than he thought. "Anyway, I'll leave you to your game."
"Uh, no. I'm done." Jungkook turns to the monitor with a grin. "I'm done, everyone. See you tomorrow at the regular time. Original regular. No early stream, alright?"
He waves for a second before shutting it down, throwing his headset away and turning to Jimin, half illuminated by the glow of the screen, still open on the paused game.
"Take-out?"
They're many, many beers deep, bellies full of cheesy pizza, and Jimin is so, so glad to be here instead of the office. "Can you believe it's ten o'clock and I'm in my home? In my pajamas? Eating dinner?" He closes his eyes, head resting on the back of the couch. "Ah, it's the little things."
"Mm." Jungkook's gone back to being all eyes, a silent mood tonight. Two stream day must have tired him out. He's observing Jimin more than anything, looking adorable with his flushed cheeks. Jimin wants to pinch them.
"What? Hm?" He sits up, trying to, but Jungkook's too quick for him, dodging him and keeping hold of his wrist to prevent further attacks. "What's with the look, Jungkook-ssi?"
"Nothing."
"Something."
"Nothing."
"Something. Tell me." He crawls closer, hands on Jungkook's knees, leaning forward to get in his face. "What's going on in that head?"
Jungkook just stares back.
"Aish, you can talk and talk and talk during your lives, but when it comes to conversation, it's hyung that's gotta carry all the weight…fine." He drops down dramatically, flopping around until he settles with his head on Jungkook's lap. This position isn't half bad either. In fact, he could get used to this.
"I talk about the game," Jungkook justifies himself in a mumble, fingers combing Jimin's hair away from his forehead. "During my lives."
"Not just about that. You talk about music, and review movies, talk about food you like…"
"You watch them?"
"Of course I watch them."
Why does Jungkook look embarassed? "Since when."
"Since always? What?" He frowns. "Am I not allowed?"
"No, it's not… You are, I just… I would just have liked to know." He bites his thumbnail nervously. "That's all."
"So many people watch you, Jungkook-ah, what's one more person?"
"It's you," Jungkook says, a little serious, a little sober, suddenly.
"It's…it's me, yeah." He gets up, leans into Jungkook's shoulder in his haziness. "What, so what?"
Jungkook shakes his head, going back to biting his nail. Jimin knows he's not getting another word out of him about this, so he sighs, refilling their glasses. "I don't watch all of them, if it makes you feel better," Jimin says. "I'm at work for most of them. But I catch snippets, here and there, and then when I'm at home and you're streaming, sometimes I let it play as I go to bed."
It feels quieter in here somehow. "Why?"
"I just like to see you, that's all." He shrugs. "I don't see you much lately."
"Mm." A hand snakes behind Jimin and settles around his shoulder, pulling him close. He goes gladly, cuddling up to Jungkook's side as they lie back together. He's cosy, the bastard. Jimin loves this. "I know."
"So it's kind of convenient to open my phone and see you there, listening to your songs…it's nice. It feels like I'm home, hanging out."
"Really?"
"Yeah." He squeezes his arm around Jungkook's waist, and his half drunk mouth runs away with him. "Would miss you too much, otherwise."
"Ha, ha," Jungkook says flatly, but Jimin scowls, turning to look at him.
"I'm not joking. Why would I be joking?"
"We live in the same house. We share a wall."
"Yeah, but that's got nothing to do with missing." It stings, to think… "It's not funny. Don't you miss me?"
Slowly, Jungkook seems to realise Jimin's being serious.Something lifts off his face then, relaxing into something a little sad that matches that feeling Jimin gets when he falls asleep to his voice. "Yeah, hyung."
His heart settles back, shakey from exposure. "Okay, then."
"Okay, then."
"Okay," he says again, raising up to bring his face closer to Jungkook's playfully, and Jungkook cracks a smile, a little tired and a little drunk. He's right there, right right right…
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Ok—mm."
It's a dry kiss, off center and over too soon. The quiet seems to have intensified. Underneath him, Jungkook has stopped breathing.
"Jimin-hyung."
Shit, shit, shit. "Mm."
"Can I—can I get up? Can you. I need to get up."
Jimin scrambles to get off him, and Jungkook jumps off the couch, disappearing into the kitchen. Jimin hears the water running. When he comes back into sight, his face is a little wet like he's splashed himself, and he's clutching a glass against his chest.
"Are you okay?"
"Mm. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, just. Wasn't expecting. That. You know, and." He presses the glass to his cheek, sways from side to side. "No, that's it. I wasn't. Expecting."
"I'm sorry."
"No. No, that's not what I meant to—no. Um. I." He paces, goes to refill his glass, downs it, puts it down again and hugs himself. His movements are all nerves, jerky, a little lost. "I can speak in complete sentences, I swear."
Jimin smiles despite the way his limbs have gone a little numb. "Take your time."
It feels like it takes forever. Jungkook does this sometimes, Jimin reassures himself, he takes a minute to compose his thoughts and then speaks, he falls into silence but it's not a punishment or a sign, it's just Jungkook, his Jungkook, and nothing as small as a barely there kiss will change any of that.
Shy, but determined, Jungkook asks, "You kissed me?"
Jimin winces. "Yeah?"
"That's not something we do."
"I'm sorry," Jimin says again. He wants to get up and get closer, but Jungkook put distance between them for a reason. "I'm—I should have asked. Better yet, I should have not done it at all. I'm bi, I guess? Surprise? I mean, to you. I knew. Um. So."
Jungkook's spearing him through with that look. "I don't know what to say to that."
"I don't know either." He's all nerves, and he's not like Jungkook, he can feel the nervous ramble bubble up his throat. "I guess you don't have to say anything. And—you're right, it's not something we do. I'm just drunk and exhausted. I don't know what I'm doing." He laughs. "Honestly, I probably should have gone out tonight. Blown off some steam, you know? I've just seen the office and my bedroom for over a month, I think I'm starting to go crazy."
"Right." Jungkook speaks slowly, like he's trying to digest the mountain of bullshit Jimin's spewing. "Need to go out."
"I won't bring anyone back here," he assures him quickly, because there's something tight in Jungkook's voice. "I promise I won't."
"Mm." Jungkook nods. He looks everywhere but Jimin for a while, then at him, then the drinks. "Should we finish that?"
He doesn't wait for Jimin's answer, just sits down and refills. He even raises his glass for Jimin to clink. Jimin watches it all from far away, like neither of them are in their bodies. Jungkook makes a face at the lukewarm beer, but he smiles tightly at Jimin and grabs their last bottle.
They stay together on the couch until it's drunk dry.
🖤
The hangover Jimin wakes up with is more emotional than physical. If he could reach into the past and slap his last-night self…
He nervously flits around the house all day, keeping busy. No matter how long he lingers, Jungkook doesn't come out of his room. Jimin's head turns and turns around what happened, heavy and guilty and horribly worried.
Going out is the only thing to do.
He comes to this bar because the drinks are good and the crowd is not too skeevy, for the most part, at least not before end of night. The dance floor is small but lively, filled with pretty people looking for the same thing he is.
He finds someone quickly. Making out in the middle of the dancefloor isn't very dignified, but he's hungry, he's pent up, and he's still trying to escape thoughts of his silent, dead apartment.
"Yours or mine?"
"Yours."
On the taxi home, he's restless, body sated but spirit buzzing. A notification comes through and his stomach tightens—Jungkook's live. It's a horror game this time, and it seems to have been going for a while.
"So I think if I go around here," Jungkook says, eyebrows scrunched in concentration, "don't pop up don't pop up don't pop up…okay! Phew. I was sure something was going to—fuck!”
He jerks back hard enough for the camera to move. He brings a hand to his heart, leaning back and catching his breath. "Fucking thing got me."
—rip
—damn bro it really got you good
—Don't have a heart attack on stream we dont know where you live
—is jimin there to take you to the hospital? show us jimin!!!
—he's so pretty no wonder you've been gatekeeping him
—omg he's totally been gatekeeping him
—so greedy, wants him all for himself
—oh my god stop talking about jimin you creeps im so sorry about them JK
—jimin come take care of your man
—yall are weird, talk about the goddamn game
Jimin's cheeks flame. The more he reads, the more his name comes up.
Jungkook reads the chat as he tries to fix the camera back in place from where it got knocked askew. "I'm alone at home. Jimin went out."
Jimin closes the chat now, focuses on Jungkook's face. If he could zoom in on the stupid thing, he would.
"He said he needed to go out, I guess, whatever that means. He's been working a lot. He's a really hard worker and he never complains." He twirls in his chair, picking at his palm the way he does sometimes. "I haven't really left the house in a week or so, so I don't know."
He looks up to the ceiling. "It gets harder the more I stay in, do you guys find that too? That sometimes going out is totally okay and sometimes it turns into this huge thing?"
"I've always been a homebody. And I like our apartment, it's really ours. Um." He frowns. "But I guess being alone alone in here is different than just being alone, you know? But normal people have normal jobs, and weird inside people have weird inside jobs, right? At least the lucky ones do."
He smiles as he settles his headphones properly again, gearing up for another go, but Jimin can't watch anymore. Alone alone. He can't shake it. Alone alone. Jungkook's so good at being on his own he never thought he might be missed…
But that's all these strange afternoon streams are. Absence, felt.
First order of business is shedding the club smell and the stranger's touch with a thorough shower. Second order of business, making sure Jungkook's taking a break. The door's half-opened and there's no talking, so chances point to yes.
The room is painted purple and blue of Jungkook's favourite mood lamp. Jungkook is just sitting on his carpet, barefoot, listening to something slow and bass heavy.
"Hi."
Jungkook looks up and smiles. A little dimmer than he's used to, but Jimin's here to fix that. He sits right by him, knees touching. Watches him play with the toy in his hands for a moment, a squeezy ball thing to fidget with and settle himself. Jimin opens his palm and Jungkook drops it without complaint. It's warm from his hands, malleable and stretchy. Jimin doesn't much get the appeal. Their fingers brush when he hands it back.
"I didn't know if you'd be coming back tonight."
"I didn't either."
That guy's place was terrible, the kind of house with single mug and a single pair of sheets, but that's not even why. As he considered it, when they were done, eyes on the ceiling, all he really wanted it to be back here, in Jungkook's bed.
Jungkook watches him, hands busy. "You had fun?"
"I danced. I drank." He shrugs. "It was fine."
"I was streaming."
"Mm."
"And I made dinner earlier, and there's a lot leftover. I wasn't so hungry. You can have it, but it really isn't my best, just so you know. I didn't have everything and I was a bit…" He makes a gesture that Jimin interprets as messed up. He knows the result is delicious anyway. "So I could have done a better job."
He sees his chance and takes it.
"We're running a bit low on groceries," Jimin says, though really, he hasn't looked inside the fridge in four days. "Supermarket tomorrow? We can get a coffee on the way and then take our time with the groceries. Come back and cook. Chill Sunday."
"Chill Sunday," Jungkook repeats with a pout. He twists the ball around in his hands. "Yeah. Can we make it around one?"
Jimin smiles. "Sure."
"Are you going to sleep?”
"I'm still a bit wired," he confesses, because he's sure Jungkook can sense it, anyway. "I'll have some food and something warm to drink first."
Padding into the dark apartment, he hopes. A minute later, Jungkook follows, turning on the floor lamp in the corridor that spills its leftover light into the kitchen. He hovers around Jimin's back as he serves the food, then comes to drape himself over him when he sticks it in the microwave.
It's all it takes to calm that buzzing worry. Just a hug, just Jungkook's chin pressed into his shoulder, his nose in his hair. He leans back against him, closing his eyes.
"You don't smell like club." He locks his hands around Jimin, easy. "That's good. I don't understand what you like about it. It makes me stressed just to think about."
Jimin smiles. "It's not for every day."
"Just when you need it."
"Yeah."
"I was thinking. What does that mean, exactly?" Jimin hesitates, unsure what answer to give, and Jungkook clarifies, "I know it means you want to sleep with someone. Just. How does that. How does it feel?"
Jimin blinks, still confused. It's late and he's tired, but this would be a weird thing to hallucinate. "I don't understand."
"You said you needed it. Needed. Not just wanted. So your body told you, somehow. Sent you some kind of signal, or sign, or I don't know."
"Are you asking me what horny feels like?"
Jungkook laughs in his ear, a little self-conscious thing. "I guess?"
"But you've felt it before."
"I'm not so sure."
Jimin turns to look at him. "Seriously?"
"It's like…it's been three years since I've had sex, and my body has never once told me I needed it."
Again, maybe it's the exhaustion, or maybe it's the unexpected way this conversation has gone, but Jimin is at a loss for words. "…Okay."
"I know it's weird."
"No, no, I just—" He turns fully, facing Jungkook now. "I never heard about something like that before."
"Therefore, weird. It's fine. Not my first time being the weird guy."
Jimin frowns, catching his hand. "I don't think you're weird."
"I am, though." He says it kindly, like he's letting Jimin down easy, with a small smile. He slips his fingers in between Jimin's. "Objectively."
Ugh. "You know I hate it when you argue semantics like that."
Jungkook seems amused. The microwave dings, and before Jimin can move, he's taken Jimin's plate out with his hands covered in sweater paws, carefully placing it on the counter and grabbing the chopsticks for him. "So, what does it feel like?"
There's a total blank in Jimin's mind, and he realises that he's never had to put words to this before. Has he ever even thought about it, consciously, properly? But Jungkook staring, expectant, so he has to find something coherent to say.
"Like a…restlessness, I guess? A tension? Like I'm all wound up for no reason and then as soon as I give my body what it needs, it relaxes again."
"And it needs an orgasm."
Jimin chokes on his bite. "Mm. Yeah."
"So there's a build up of this frustration? Overtime?" Jimin nods. "And what does it look like?"
This topic is here to stay then, it seems. No squirelling out of it that easy. "I don't know, Jungkook-ah. Like, like…sometimes it's a short fuse. Sometimes it's brain fog. Sometimes it's just being wired constantly."
"And does it work the same when you jerk off?"
"Dude!"
"What? It's a question." He stares at the plate. "Maybe not the best while eating though. Gross. Sorry. We can talk about it later."
He's got his out, but… "You've seriously never felt it?"
"Not—how you're describing it. Not that often, either. I don't know." He pouts, pulling his sleeves over his hands again, curling in on himself a little. "I would never think, oh, I need to have sex to come back to myself. That's just never been it. And even with j—um. With solo activities," Jimin snorts and Jungkook smiles, satisfied, "it's really sporadic. Sometimes it's just because I'm bored, and nothing else."
"But does it still…feel good?"
A shrug. "Sure."
Jimin can't help but laugh. "I've never heard anyone less excited about sex."
"I just—it feels good like seeing a great movie feels good. When it's the right mood, the right setting—"
"The right lights."
"The right lights," he smiles, "and the excitement, and the emotion…yeah. But you can go years between feeling it, and your body doesn't crave it."
"Hm. I didn't know all that about you."
"Doesn't exactly come up organically. The weird guy's gotta take the bullet."
Sticking the plate in the sink to deal with tomorrow, Jimin comes to ruffle Jungkook's hair. "I'm going to bed, weirdo. Are you going to stream again?"
A cute, cute, cute shake of the head. "I wanted to try sleeping, too."
"Sleeping at night. What a concept."
"Never let them know your next move."
He catches Jimin's shirt from the back, following him to the bathroom. They brush their teeth side by side, making weird faces in the mirror to get each other to crack. Jimin, in a way most undignified, spews toothpaste all over the bathroom mirror, so Jungkook wins.
Without much of a word, Jungkook follows Jimin into his bedroom, snuggling in next to him. It hasn't happened in a while. It's not Jungkook's bed, but Jungkook's in it, so that's all he needs. "Truly unpredictable."
"Next move. Don't let 'em. Not ever." He blinks at Jimin owlishly, cheek squished into the pillow. Sleepily, he smiles. "Chill Sunday tomorrow."
"Chill Sunday," Jimin promises, and turns off the light.
🖤
Jimin wakes to Jungkook's hair tickling his nose near midday, if the clock on his wall is to be believed. In the night, Jungkook migrated from his pillow onto Jimin's arm, so Jimin can't go anywhere. Cat rules. He'll stay here until Jungkook moves.
He starts to stir about ten minutes later. He scrunches his face, seemingly annoyed at having to come back to the world of the living. Blinks against the light. Catches Jimin's eye, pouts, and drops back against Jimin again, forehead pressed to his chest.
Jimin laughs. "No. no. Time to get up."
"Mm." It's a very contrarian mmm, filled with contempt for the violent concept of getting up.
"Jungkook-ah…" He squeezes his nape, scratches, earning himself a more pleased mmm this time. "Come on. Ice coffee. With syrup. We can grab something for breakfast, too." He leans down, whispers into his ear. "Something sweet."
Jungkook squirms. "You're baiting me. I know it."
"It's working." He presses his forehead to Jungkook's temple, and says, "You have three seconds before I push you off the bed."
With a panicked noise, Jungkook sits up, and Jimin drops back onto the pillow with a grin.
The day flows and flows and flows. Jimin can't grab hold of the hours passing. At the office, he feels each of them mount on his back, weighing him down until he can barely make it home. Next to Jungkook, coffees in hand, shoulders pressed together, it feels like time works differently altogether.
They stock up on absolutely everything and then some. Jungkook knows what he likes and what Jimin likes, and he flies from one side of the supermarket to the other following his own mental list. He gets lost in snacks or the sauce aisle sometimes, and Jimin has to pull him out of his label reading trance.
It's so fucking endearing. Jimin's heart's full, and it's ridiculous, isn't it, to feel this way at a supermarket of all places, but he can't shake it. Jungkook lights up every time he catches his eye after they've been seperated, talks and talks and talks and talks about the food he'll make them.
"I'll start with the carbonara tonight, because it's easy and because it's your favourite," he says as they push their full carts to the car.
"Yah. Are you calling me easy?"
"Carbonara is easy, but it's a classic, and it's rich, and it's delicious," Jungkook supplies. There's a little skip in his step. Jimin can't stand it. "It's perfect."
Ridiculous.
It is indeed delicious beyond words. Jimin's spoiled. He's sated and happy, so happy that he lets Jungkook talk him into playing a game together.
It's a stupid mobile game, nothing as serious as Jungkook's usual set-up—but they both get competitive, laugh as they try to beat each other. They're lying in Jungkook's bed, feet up on the wall, and to his own shock and awe, Jimin's winning.
When the win becomes definitive he whoops, shoving his phone in Jungkook's face. "Take that, professional gamer!"
"Yeah, yeah," Jungkook giggles, not looking too upset over his loss. "You won."
"Be a little angrier about it, please."
"Oh, grrrr." He frowns so hard his eyes cross. "How dare you, Jimin-ssi. I'll take revenge for what is rightfully mine."
Lost in his own laughter, Jimin doesn't manage to deflect the simultaneous tickle attack and phone removal. He's finding himself pressed under Jungkook, looking up at him. His hair is a little frizzy, and it makes him look so very cute.
"Apologise for winning."
"Never."
"Never?" Another giggle attack that Jimin folds under, ending up with Jungkook straddling his hips, looming over him. "Never?"
Jimin leans up sitting up on his elbows. They're nose to nose. "Never," he says, a whisper this time.
Both their giggles fade, the closeness impossible to ignore. There's no alcohol to blame this time, no exhaustion. It happened because that's them: in each other's orbit, constantly fighting the pull to get closer.
More and more, Jimin's starting to forget the reason for that fight.
"Hyung," voice soft, low and light, "I want to try something."
"Mm? What?"
He leans down slowly.
It's only a peck. Hardly worth prefacing. Jimin hadn't, and his kiss had been longer, pushier. Jungkook's a little jumpy over his, there and gone again.
So Jimin tilts his head up into it, and thankfully, thankfully, Jungkook does it again.
A proper kiss, this one.
Jimin couldn't have predicted this is where the day would end, but nothing about it is surprising. Not how Jungkook's mouth moves against his with ease. Not the feeling of being bracketed, held, Jungkook's body resting against his, his elbows on either side of Jimin's head.
It's their first real kiss, but something about it feels like they've been here before.
They kiss for a little while, messing up the bed. Jimin's hands end up in Jungkook's hair, and he's always wanted this, hasn't he, to grasp onto him tightly like this. To tangle together and forget how to come loose.
Eventually, suddenly as he leaned in, Jungkook pulls back, curls into Jimin's side, leg thrown over him. He doesn't say a word. His breath is coming a little fast, his hand twisting and untwisting the hem of Jimin's shirt.
Jimin turns to stare at that face he knows so well, the starry eyes, the cute round nose, the pink lips. His fault, he thinks giddily, his, his, his.
"I thought we didn't do that."
"We don't. Do you mind?"
"I don't mind."
"Okay. I don't mind either." Eyes hooded now, tired. "So then that means we do."
Jungkook's hand moves from Jimin's shirt to Jimin's face, fingers brushing over cheek. It's barely there, but so sweet and deliberate that Jimin almost can't take it. He watches Jungkook think silently, watches him trace every bit of Jimin's face with his eyes.
Eventually, he needs to speak. His voice is hushed. "What were you looking for?"
"I don't know."
"What did you find?"
"Hyung."
"I've been here."
"Even more, now."
Jungkook's eyes fall closed, relaxed. Jimin brings a thumb to his mouth, running over the pinkness of his lips. Jungkook puckers his lips, leaving a weird little kiss on it before he falls completely asleep, smiling.
It takes Jimin a while. He lies there, arms full, waiting for his heart to calm its frantic pace.
🖤
Monday dawns, because there's no justice in this world.
Concentration is a lost cause today. The notes he's typing up for a meeting superimpose over the image of Jungkook curled up in his bed, early morning sunlight creeping through the bottom of the curtain. His colleague's monologue about her perfect weekend getaway with her boyfriend fades into the background, and all he can think about is Jungkook's goofy dance as he cooked that carbonara, narrating it all to Jimin for the hundredth time.
No notification today. No live. A Jungkookless day, all the greyer for it.
He's strangely nervous as he takes the metro back, on time for once. He sways and worries, shoulders tense awaiting something, something, something.
"Jungkook-ah?" he calls when he closes the door behind him. The apartment is still, but filled with the smell of freshly brewed coffee.
Jungkook's on the kitchen counter when he gets there, sipping out of Jimin's favourite mug. He doesn't much react when Jimin enters, but his eyes light up in that quiet way Jimin's come to expect, staying on him as he drops his bag on the chair and shrugs off his shirt.
"Long day?"
"The longest."
"Mm." He reaches out a hand. Knees a little weak, Jimin takes it, gets pulled close. "Sucks to have a normal person job. Here, coffee."
He lets Jimin sip from his mug before locking his legs around him, keeping him there. Jimin smiles, no less nervous, but excited, avoiding his gaze with something sparking in his chest.
"How was your day?"
"Woke up at a human time and went to the gym. I'm almost a functional member of society. Yours?"
"Do you really want to hear it?"
"Only the funny parts." He smiles when Jimin pinches him, takes Jimin's hand in his and tangles their fingers together. They're touching everywhere. Jimin is overwhelmed, overjoyed. "No, I'm kidding. Tell me whatever."
"I don't want to talk," Jimin says with a sigh. He's been talking all day about corporate bullshit, the stuff that has so little importance when he started his day like he did, lips still tingling, cosy in bed with the man he… "I kind of just." He licks his lips, fights himself for a long second before he decides. "I kind of just want to kiss you again."
A hum. "I taste of coffee."
"Me too."
He pinches Jungkook's oversized t-shirt between thumb and forefinger, pulls, pulls, pulls until their lips hover in the second before the final touch.
It comes when it's supposed to, when they've had their fill of lingering in that sweet anticipation. The kiss is just as sweet, eyes falling closed immediately, bodies leaning into each other, looking, meeting. Jungkook cups Jimin's face, big hands all careful, before sliding down to his neck, hooking behind it. Jimin moves into his space until there's nowhere closer to go. He doesn't touch yet. Jungkook's tolerance to touch is a fickle thing, so he makes the safe choice and rests his hands on either side of his thighs, pressing his fingers onto the counter to refrain from reaching.
They break for breath, but don't go far. Forehead to forehead, they stay until Jimin's heartbeat has settled, Jungkook's fingers gently playing with hair at his nape.
"I want to make dinner," he mumbles. "Tteokkbokki."
"I love tteokkbokki."
"I know."
They fall into another kiss, and time does that strange thing again—it slows down instead of speeding, generous, allowing them the time to come apart and together, apart and together, learning.
"You didn't stream today?"
"No need."
"Oh? Made enough this month?"
Jungkook shakes his head. Twirls a strand of Jimin's hair around his finger then lets go, calm and dear. "I still felt you with me."
It's true, then. "Not alone alone?"
"Just alone," Jungkook confirms, "and thinking of you."
Heart pounding, surprised, vindicated, satisfied, Jimin confesses, "I watched you at work. Sometimes when I really shouldn't have." Lips hover again right in that space that isn't kissing. "And it just made me want to come back here and cook with you and sit with you and play that stupid game with you."
"We could play some non stupid games any time if you stop being stubborn."
"We could also," a kiss, "do other things." A kiss. How can it feel so good?
"Hyung." A hand on his shoulder, a small distance kept. "I don't know if I'll ever want other things."
Oh. Jimin tries to think through the pleasant haze. "You mean."
"Sex. I don't know if I'll…I mean, I might. I like this." A hand cups Jimin's cheek again. "I like this a lot. So I might." He's staring, like he's trying to make sure Jimin hears him. "But I might not. I don't really know how it works or why, but this might be it. For me."
Jimin looks at his little frown, his worried face. Words don't come immediately, so Jungkook continues,
"So if that's a dealbreaker, let's break it now. So it's clear. So I know it's impossible."
God, he needs to think, but he doesn't want to pull back anymore, doesn't want Jungkook any farther away than he is right now. "What is."
"To. Um. Ah, I really should have finished my coffee," he laughs, nervously, pushing his forehead into Jimin's again. "To be with you the way I want."
"And it's this way?" A kiss. "Us, but with this?"
"It's you knowing I'm in love with you. And accepting it, hopefully. Reciprocating it, maybe?"
Jimin's heart just about stops.
He cups Jungkook's face. "In love?"
"Oh, yeah. Old news. Or, surprise? Depends how much you've been paying attention."
He's looking for an answer, any answer, that might convey the feeling unfurling in his chest right now. The joy, the blooming. The sense of coming home.
"I would have told you earlier," Jungkook goes on, still a little nervous. "But I wasn't sure it would translate to what relationships should be, you know, the physical, the sexual…so. I figured maybe there wasn't a difference, then." He shakes his head, like he's reprimanding his past self. "But there is. It's not just friendship, what I want."
He watches Jimin be silent and still and useless, then pinches his earlobe and shakes it. "Is this thing on?"
Jimin laughs, catching his hand, pressing it to his chest. "Shh. Impatient."
"I've been talking for ages and you've not said a word."
"I'm looking for the right ones—"
"I don't care about the right ones, I just want to know—"
"If you'd just let me think, then—"
"Feelings are feelings, Jimin-ssi, what's thinking gotta do with any—"
He cuts Jungkook off with another kiss. Lets it linger, lets it speak.
Then, just for good measure,
"That means I'm reciprocating it, if you needed it spelled out."
Jungkook laughs, happy, relieved. He brings his arms around Jimin's shoulders and hugs him close, hugs him tight, hugs him I love you and hugs him old news, have you been paying attention?
The feeling bouncing around Jimin's chest, unnamed, is taking clearer shape, now. He holds Jungkook and melts into it, leans his weight onto him and lets himself fall.
🖤
Jungkook takes the week off. Jimin comes back from work on time. Evenings are spent in a cuddle on the couch or giggling together in the kitchen, talking, talking, talking.
They talk about Jungkook's past relationships, the ones Jimin witnessed from the outside. Sex was a responsibility always, a pleasure only occasionally. Jimin promises it won't feel like that again, if they get to it, the if loud and clear. He seals the promise with a kiss that gets a bit away from them. He memorises him slowly—the sighs, the touches, the boundaries.
They talk about Jimin, too. The other kinds of intimacy he's been missing, the ones he's found in Jungkook. The partnership, the sharing of his days, the joy in it. I always laugh when I'm around you, Jimin tells him, and the smile he gets in return feeds his already growing certainty: this is where they're meant to be.
That's what he's thinking about now, as he floats in that space between wakefulness and sleep. Jungkook had kissed him and kissed him through three snoozed alarms, after which point Jimin had to push him away and tell him to go to work already. Obnoxiously, half a joke and half not, Jungkook had tucked him in before settling in his chair just a few steps away, taking good care to turn the camera enough to keep the bed out of sight.
"—my holidays were amazing. Think it's been…uh. Wait. I think I've actually never taken a full week off. Wow. Crazy. Thank you all for not forgetting me, I guess. No, I didn't travel. Just stayed home." He laughs. "With Jimin, yeah. He's still working hard, but we managed to see each other a little more."
"The afternoon streams? Oh, sure. I'll do them from time to time. I like just kind of hanging out and talking with you guys. Not this week though. Maybe the next? Let's see."
"We're doing something chill tonight, okay? Let me get set up with some music…"
Jimin hangs on for as long as he can. With Jungkook's voice filling the room, he snuggles into the pillows and falls asleep with a smile on his face.