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It just didn't make any sense. Nothing made any sense. It was the fifth time he threw the precious paper behind him because he couldn't get it right. Yes, it was a triangle, and that's all he needed to solve the problem, but the task was crystal clear that the triangle should somehow help him solve the problem. But so far, it only added him trouble.
He could've just solved it without one. Easily. The problem wasn't even that hard, just to find the area. It was easy for him. He had done it before. But the numbers seemed to be completely wrong. And it didn't help that he couldn't see anything wrong with his calculations. So he absolutely had to draw that triangle and see if he missed anything.
But the more he drew, the more it felt like he was just wasting his time. Each triangle was slightly different, and somehow none of them made sense. None of them actually worked to help him figure out what was wrong. Should he just give up? No, giving up is not something a scholar would do... Maybe he should try one more time? Maybe this time it would actually make sense...
«Muhammad!»
Ah. Familiar cheerful voice. He put his brush down and looked towards the entrance, where the girl was peeking from. She had that usual curious look on her face when she had a question to ask. Though usually it would be mixed a little with some embarrassment, since, in her words, she would never admit that she needed help from him. Did she finally decide that she indeed needed his help?
«Sitara. What are you doing here?»
He might've tried to sound a little annoyed, since he was working. But in truth, he was really happy that she came. He could actually take his eyes off the complicated paper and just take a little break. He couldn't take breaks without a reason. And his little star was the perfect reason.
She stopped peeking and stood upright, taking a step into the study. It's not like she was forbidden from walking in, but what was she doing here anyway? If it was about her studies, Uncle would've been a better choice to ask. Rather than Muhammad... Maybe it was about something else that she was learning?
«My head hurts a little, and I keep forgetting this section because of it... Could you read it for me, please?»
If her head hurt, she should've just sat down to rest, not try to study. Was she trying to get sick? That's how one could get sick for quite a while. Why would she want to get sick? Were they treating her badly? Was she tired of studying? What was wrong with her?
He was so concerned about his little star. It was clear from how she was standing, holding the book in her hands, tilting her head a bit too much on her shoulder like she was resting it there, instead of just slightly tilting it to look playful e usual. And as much as he wanted to stand up and ask her what was wrong, he kept sitting in place and just slightly rolled his eyes, like she usually would. He wanted to come up to her, check if she was okay, get her something to make her feel better. But he shouldn’t. He should first find out why she was in his study, instead of looking for Uncle. Not that he was complaining.
«Why don't you ask Uncle?»
After all, he was the one teaching her. It would’ve made more sense to ask him. He was happy that she asked him, he was. How could he not be happy to have his little star come up to him and ask for help? Especially since she often refused his help. Instead of looking around for Uncle, like she did whenever Muhammad mentioned him, she just took a step closer, looking down at him with a pleading look.
«Because I am supposed to memorise it, but it just doesn't stick in my brain for some reason...»
Didn’t stick in her brain? If she had a headache, it was only obvious. She should just have a break, not come and tell him to help her study. What was she thinking? And why was she coming even closer and trying to look even more pitiful...
«Please, help me, oh, great Young Master Muhammad... Help out this little girl to learn the Koran faster, so she can learn as much as possible...»
She had no shame, did she? She just sat down in front of him and put the book in his hands before crawling to his other side and sitting all so properly. And maybe he should've told her to leave or wait for Uncle... But why would he?
Instead, he just sighed heavily and took the book, flipping through the pages. What part could've been possibly hard for her? Lately, she got to easier parts too, no? But it was pointless to guess, he should just ask.
«So, what was so hard for you?»
He looked at the girl next to him, who wasn’t sitting so properly anymore, trying to scoot over to him. She wasn’t even hiding it! She was just moving closer while he was watching her. It seemed like she just didn’t care about anything at all! Not the rules, which she knew very well. Not the fact that anyone could see them through the door while passing. Or so he thought. Because when he raised his eyes from his little star to the entrance, the doors were closed, though he remembered leaving them open. Did she close them when she walked in?
It wasn’t like he was embarrassed or scared to stay in the same room as her. It wasn’t like he didn’t know how to behave. It’s just that he would always start blushing around her. After all, she was a pretty girl, who was just a year younger than him and who seemed to be interested in him. And he was interested in her. He wasn’t against sitting with her and just do nothing, but he had studying to do... Or studying could wait...
Finally, Sitara decided to show him what part was confusing. He just put an open Koran on his lap and let her flip the pages to where she needed help. When she stopped, she just pointed with a finger at the passage and looked up at him with the most innocent and helpless look ever. And he wished he could resist it, but... But he just couldn’t...
«This part is a little confusing. Please, help me.»
She blinked with her big eyes, keeping eye contact, staring up at him with so much hope in her eyes... They were the same height while sitting, but she just leaned towards him, which made it seem like she was shorter than him. Looking up at him like that and being so close... She really had no manners...
He just looked away in embarrassment, not being able to hold the eye-staring contest. He just hoped she wouldn’t see how red his cheeks got from just staring at him like that. She was so annoying... But he was still going to help her.
Muhammad looked down in the Koran at the passage. He read it to himself in a mumbling tone first, just so he could remember how to properly read it. Indeed, it was quite an easy passage. And a short one at that. How could she forget it? There was no way it was hard for her, even if she had a headache. Once, she had a little fever and still forced herself to learn a bigger passage than this one and recited it perfectly.
Something wasn’t right. He read it to himself again. It felt too familiar. Not that he didn’t know it, of course he did, but there was a feeling that he had heard it recently... Yes! It was yesterday! He was walking past Andaruni, hoping to catch his mother there to talk to her, but instead he heard Sitara from inside, so he just peeked carefully. He remembered Sitara sitting on the floor with her back to his mother, while she was going through her hair with a comb, and his little star was proudly, perfectly reciting this very passage. Did she lie to him? Why would she do that?
«Wait a moment... Sitara, you already...»
But before he could even finish speaking, he felt something land on his shoulder. And he knew that feeling very well. She did that before. She did it way too many times for him not to get familiar with that move. He should’ve seen right through her. Was she just pretending, like she would sometimes? He didn’t even start actually explaining anything, but she was already asleep? Surely she was pretending.
He closed the Koran and put it on his little table while his hand carefully poked Sitara’s cheek, then her side. Usually, if she was pretending, the poke on the side would make her whole body tremble for a second, and if he poked her some more, she would chuckle, which would then turn into him tickling her for deceiving him like that. But there was no reaction. She just kept her eyes shut and her mouth slightly open as her chest slowly rose and then went down again. So she was indeed asleep... Perhaps her head hurt that much...
He knew better than to go against the rules. But he couldn’t help himself. He carefully reached for her face and brushed her little strands out of it, hiding them under her hijab, so that they wouldn’t wake her up somehow. Then he gently caressed her side for a bit with his other hand and just put his hand down. She looked so peaceful, so calm, so pretty, so cute... And she was so close... Her rose cheeks. Her cute, slightly open lips. Her beautiful eyelashes... She was just perfect...
What was he thinking! He wasn’t supposed to think about her that way! He wasn’t supposed to be tempted by her! She wasn’t even doing anything! She trusted him enough to come for help, to fall asleep on his shoulder, and all he could think about was how perfect she looked! What a disappointment... He was supposed to be a better person, not someone so easily tempted... Even if it was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on...
His cheeks felt so red, so hot. He just stared down at the floor, filled with disappointment in himself. That had never happened before, had it? Usually, before, when she would fall asleep, he would just get a little embarrassed, but not pay it much mind. But for some reason now... Now he just wanted to stare at her adorable sleeping face... Wouldn’t that be too weird?... She was so close, who could blame him for staring?
He should just focus on something else. He should just ignore her on his shoulder. He should return to his geometry! Yes! That would surely help him distract himself! Then he wouldn’t think about how close she is to him and how he could just endlessly stare at her. At her charming face. At her little smile, as if she was dreaming about something nice. Could he be in her dream? No, that would be silly... Why would he be there... But he just hoped he would be in her dream...
No! He was supposed to focus on geometry! Not draw her face! What was he thinking?! When did he even pick up the brush?! It was a nice picture, but he was supposed to draw that triangle! Not his star! Who was just peacefully napping on his shoulder, blissfully unaware of what she was putting him through.
He had to focus. If he could solve it, he could maybe nap with her a little... He just needed to focus... It was supposed to be a right triangle, with the sides being equal, and the altitude from the right angle was supposed to create two more right isosceles triangles... He was solving everything perfectly, so why wasn’t the figure working out...?
Oh! Now it finally made sense! Maybe it was because the cathetus weren’t exactly equal all those previous times... But now it all finally made sense! Now he could finally finish that stupid problem. Now the teacher wouldn’t be able to scold him for not drawing the figure.
He wanted to just lay down on the floor, but the weight on his shoulder quickly reminded him why he shouldn’t. His little star was still sleeping on his shoulder. Maybe he finally managed to finish it thanks to her being next to him. Like his little token. Maybe. Whatever was the case, it didn’t matter. Maybe it was because he took his mind off of it for a bit. Or maybe it was just because she was next to him.
Muhammad was just happy to be done with it. He quickly covered his mouth with his hand as he yawned, and then put his head on top of the girl’s. He was actually pretty sleepy... It was all his little star’s influence. Though he felt satisfied with himself, he would be disappointed if he didn’t use this opportunity to take a short break and sleep with his favourite person. So he just closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep.