Chapter Text
Ryusui ist too loud.
Loud in his appearance, his tall statue, the big hat and the bright red outfit.
Loud in his movements, his heavy steps and constantly snapping of his fingers.
Loud in his voice, his laugh echoing through the perseus halls and his rapid heart beat, whenever they were in the same room.
Even in his own mind, where there should just be his own voice and his thoughts alone. In moments when he tries to think of something calm or when he tries to sleep. There is Ryusui invading every little corner of his brain.
Ryusui is too loud for Ukyo.
He was always like this from the moment he broke out of petrification, when they met in Ishigami village, when they built the ship or when they were on treasure island.
Yes there were also always some other loud noises besides their new captain, but on land he had more places to escape. His favorite tree for lookout, the hot springs where he went, when no one was there or just going hunting on his own, knowing to only hear his breath, his heartbeat and especially only his thoughts. But on the perseus? The engines, the storms and of course the people. Reinventing a casino and a bar a week ago made it especially hard, now the nights were even louder.
In short, it was hell for the sonarmans poor sensitive ears. No way to escape anything and so the only thing he could do is blame it all on Ryusui. Logically Ukyo knew it wasn’t all the captains fault. And logically he knew he shouldn’t hate the other general. But having only a few hours of sleep for a week made his brain function less logically. And so the day he needed to let go of all his built up anger had to come sooner rather than later.
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6:09 pm, 21 Minutes until his shift ends.
Ukyo’s eyes dropped and opened promptly again. Microsleep.
The last time he had that was in military basic training. That time he had to get used to early mornings and long days of training. Now it was because he had the 12 hour shifts at the sonar. Yes they got breaks in between and yes it wasn't stressful at all, but maybe that was the point. There were sometimes fish underneath them, so he called for the muscle team to catch them. Or he replaced Ryusui so he could take a small break or they held a spontaneous meeting of the five generals. But that was basically it. Adding a low effort job to his lack of sleep and you'll get a ticking time bomb.
6:10
Only a minute had passed. It was always like that, the last minutes of the shift stretched like bubble gum. Ukyo tried to look around and distract himself. But there wasn't much distraction on the bridge. There was Ryusui, Senku and Gen who discussed which route they should take. They weren't fighting, like a week ago where they ended up having the poker tournament. But the captain and the scientist still had different options on where they should sail.
At first Ukyo was happy that they could put down their disagreement with just a round of poker. But adding games and alcohol to the ship made everything so much louder.
6:11
The eyes of the sonarman were falling down heavily again.
Loud wasn't even the right term for all of that. With his sensitive ears he could hear nearly everything. Apart from the machines on the ship and the waves crashing at it, the crew had started singing shanties in a full drunken state at midnight. Especially Magma who probably thought that his horrible singing would improve, if he would sing louder, well he probably didn’t think at all.
6:11
Was the makeshift clock from Senku even working correctly? Ukyo stared at it to make the time go faster. Which obviously didn't do anything.
"Ukyo-chan everything ok?" someone tried to ask quietly, well as quiet as someone could be while speaking.
"It's fine." he answered too quickly and too annoyed. He just then noticed who asked, a special mentalist looked worried at him. Normally Gen was better at reading people and knowing what they thought. But right now the way his eyes were filled with pity annoyed the archer more than the question itself.
“You can already go, I think dear Senku-chan is capable of handling the sonar before Kohaku comes for her shift.” he suggested, trying to talk him into it.
“I already said it's fine, it's just a few minutes, I can handle it.” now adding a bit of volume to his annoyance to make his point more clear. He really could handle it, at least he was under the impression of doing so. The rest of the people at the bridge just gave each other concerned looks. Good thing only his hearing was exceptional, also seeing their looks in high-resolution would be pure torture.
“What the mentalist wants to say,” Senku was picking his ear, trying to be as diplomatic as he could be, which wasn't something he was good at from the start, “That your eye bags look worse than mine during the stone wars. So just go.”
The older one pulled his cap over his face to hide his eyes. But still refuses to leave his workplace.
Senku and Gen were looking at Ryusui for help. It was not only his job as captain to make sure everyone is healthy and safe. But they also noticed that Ukyo is a bit more obedient towards the blond. Noticing the crewmates' looks and the horrible state his sonarman was in, he sighed before speaking.
“It's okay to leave a few minutes early if you're not feeling well. I think it would also be a good idea to take a day off. I noticed that you haven't slept enough in over a week. So just take a good long nap and recover well, I only desire the best from my crew” he was only making the gesture with his fingers without snapping them and he also tried to be a bit quieter than usual, still loud for an average person.
If I could “just take a nap” I wouldn’t look and feel like that and who's fault is it anyways? Ukyo thought to himself.
He can feel the anger and annoyance building up and he just wanted to scream it right here and know. But Ukyo catches his thoughts before they could escape his lips. He was grinding his teeth, so he wouldn’t accidentally say something he'd regret later.
“Fine, if everyone thinks I should leave, then who am I to disagree?” Ukyo put his headphones down, turned towards the door and took as big steps as possible to just leave as fast as possible.
He knew that if he would have stayed and argued more, he would have exploded. So just leaving seemed like the best decision at that time.
The other three could only star after him and hope he'll take their worries seriously.
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Originally he wanted to head straight to his cabin, lock the door and get off some steam and maybe a bit of sleep.
But unfortunately Ukyo had spent his lunch break trying to do a power nap, but failed. Now his stomach was roaring louder than his angry thoughts. So he decided to take a small turn for the cafeteria.
Big mistake.
The cafeteria was packed. Everyone and their mums wanted to get supper. So Ukyo just swallowed his anger, again, and stepped into the line for food.
When it was his turn he saw that Suika was helping out and poured the soup in bowls for everyone. Ukyo’s mood brightened. He always liked that little girl, she reminded him of a little sister he always wanted. Or more like a daughter? He smiled at that thought, he was nearly 30 now, so having kids at this age was always a dream of his, but he never got to know the right person. Also being gay in Japan didn't make it easier to have kids. But maybe after they managed to revive humanity, he could find a partner and a place to live with kids.
Yes, that would be nice. He greeted the small child and went to his place, daydreaming a bit and lightening his mood. But of course that didn’t last long.
As soon as he took a spoon full of his meal, he wanted to puke it out immediately. Fish soup with some kind of dairy in it. Francois made it, so it wasn`t the meal itself that was bad. It was just, he was a vegetarian in the old world, he even tried living as a vegan at one point in time, but being in the SDF and Japan didn't make it easy. He knew he didn't have much of a choice back then and now with limited resources he had to eat meat. But that didn't ment he couldn’t feel bad about it. The only bright side was the fresh baked bread they got with each serving.
“What about that long face? If you don´t like the soup, you could always give it to me.” Of course Yo just had to sit directly next to him.
“Leave him alone, you're getting fat eating so much. Besides, Ukyo needs to get stronger. Look at him, he looks so small and weak. Maybe if you eat more meat you´d get bigger and stronger.” Magma of all people sat on his other side and was hitting Ukyo on the shoulder. He flinched a bit, but not from the hit, but because the other once laughing about his not so funny joke could be heard across the room, so it was way too loud again. Also did he already forget who had him cornered after they planted the cell phone?
Ukyo's day was already long enough, having now Yo and Magma next to him was pure torture. And if the gods had decided all against him, another loud voice was entering the chat.
“Just leave him alone, can’t you blockheads see that he doesn’t look good?” Chrome was sitting across the table from him. He normally liked the guy, he was always so curious and eager to learn everything. But with Ukyo's amount of sleep deprivation the best people where annoying.
“But the good food is getting cold.” Yo complained
“It would be a shame if the good fish gets to waste.” Magma added
Meanwhile Gen and Ryusui came in. On normal occasions Ukyo would have immediately noticed.
But the three around him were just too loud.
But the clinking of the metal cutlery against the ceramic bowls was just too loud.
But the conversations of the other people around him were just too loud.
“Thats true, but…” Chrome started his statement but was immediately cut off.
“Maybe if I eat my meal so damn wrong, why don’t you eat it?” Ukyo put his spoon down and pushed his plate across the table so that it rammed Chromes own. The archer had now the same look on him that he had during the chase of Chrome, Magma and Gen back during the war. The small flashback made the younger member of the crew jolt back a bit.
“Hey that's not fair, don’t yell at Chrome, he was just defending you.” Nikki sitting next to the scientist joined the screaming contest.
Fair? That was it. That was the last drop it needed to let the bomb explode.
Ukyo stood up with a scratching chair against the floor, drawing all of the attention to him.
“Fair? You think I’m not fair? And what do you call it, that I have to hear everything that's happening on this ship?” it was dead silent when he raised his voice.
“Is it fair that I have to hear your pathetic flirtation with every female being on this ship at least once an hour?” he looked at Yo.
“Or is it fair, that I have to hear your singing under the shower,” he looked at Nikki, “or your poor attempt to sing in tune?” and then glared at Magma.
“Is it fair that I have to hear everyone all the time without giving a single thought about how someone with sensitive ears would react to your drunken state at midnight after a long match of poker?” he could and would have listed everyone's secret right here and now, if it wasn’t for someone else. Someone who was way worse than everyone combined.
Ryusui was walking slowly at him, like facing a dangerous predator that needed to be tamed. But it was just Ukyo.
“It’s okay, why don’t we go outside and let Senku find a solution...” He started but also didn't get far with his statement and was cut off by the death stare of the former left hand of the empire of might.
“Oh and don't get me started on you, you're loud with every fibre of your cloth, with every gene in your DNA and with every atom in your cells." he yelled.
“It’s like you're everywhere on this ship. I can hear you before you enter a room with your heavy steps, I can hear you from a long distance with your flashy clothes and finger snipping. I can hear your loud voice and laugh. And I can even hear you when you try being silent, because your heartbeat is always so intense and you're invading every thought of mine all the god damn time.” He wanted to continue screaming at him and him alone. It was again only Ryusui that invaded his thoughts and mind and only him that his focus was laid on.
He took a small pause, Ukyo didn't notice how out of breath he was, how his head felt like it was heating up and he squeezed his eyes close. Shortly before he wanted to take a deep breath to continue, he heard it. It was shy and quiet and short. Ukyo, out of all, nearly missed it.
"I'm sorry"
It was so out of character from the person that whispered these 3 words, that all eyes were now away from Ukyo and on to their captain.
The archer opened his eyes and looked at him, really looked at him. Ryusui looked so...so small and still. His shoulders were down, his captain's head half way over his face, but his eyes were still looking at the other, having lost all their sparkle and a bit more watered down. Everyone compared the blond to a golden retriever, and yes right now he looked like a soaked puppy.
And there it was, like a snap being awakened from a trance, the moment Ukyo's anger was gone. One look at this pile of shame in front of him and everything changed. His empty stomach turned itself upside down and he wanted to throw up, his eyes started to blur from the tears that started to form.
It all felt so wrong, seeing Ryusui like that was like watching a fish on land. He could feel his cold sweat run down his spine and he got guespumps just looking at him. He felt the urge to comfort him. Take the big man into his smaller one and press him against his own chest. He wanted to pet his head and tell him that everything is fine. But he didn't. Because he was the reason Ryusui looked like that.
Instead Ukyo took his gaze from the younger one and let it wander through the room, it was like time stopped, but in reality no one was really moving, no one dared to move. They either looked at Ryusui with pity, never seeing their proud sailor looking like crumbled into a corner or they looked scared at Ukyo, afraid of being his next target of outburst.
What has he done? He was annoyed, yes and totally lacked more than a week of proper sleep. But was he really...that monster? He was already self- conscious about what people thought about him after he betrayed Tsukasa, but what he had done now was way worse.
Ukyo, now afraid of himself, had only one option left. He looked at Gen, the only one not showing fear for him right now. Ukyo's eyes screamed for help at the mentalist and his friend immediately knew what to do.
The Magician jumped in front of him, and out of his sleeves there were confetti guns shooting colourful paper pieces and smoke. Using the surprise and that the smoke was a bit more than what he expected, Gen took his wrist and pulled him out of that room, away from the judgmental stares of their crew and fleeing from Ryusui.