Chapter Text
“....-eeeeveeeEEENNNNN!”
His eyes shot open, the four pupils dilating to absolute pinpricks. Their harshly defined sides, despite the lack of morning light in the dimly lit corner, finding ways to sparkle and show off their diamonds. Some could almost consider it eerie, how they shone their pink so brightly. One day, they’d say it was simply normalcy for others, but they weren’t quite there yet.
Someday. Ideally, never.
His mouth sat partially agape, four tusks jutting angrily from the already oversized chompers that stuck out with an underbite. The deep purple tongue that usually sat snug within threatened to poke out from the side- a relic of sleep. A dark pink snout comparable to, per a particular comment, that of a dragon’s adorned with, in the current lighting, dull rhomboid scales shifted upward to view as to just what had encroached upon his sleep. Pointed ears flicked between two sets of magenta horns, angular spikes erupting from the forehead and lax curls sprouting from the jawbone; a bull and goat’s, if you will, sharing the same canvas. Thick spines trailed down the head and too-big neck that sported short, coarse fur atop the scales shot up in alarm.
“STEVEN! WAKE U- FINally! Jeez man, you were out like a light! Pearl had to send me up as reinforcement!”
The tone was teasing and laid back, a song built of boastful percussion, belonging to the only Gem who could wake up someone like that, Amethyst. She was nothing but a dark silhouette, her ashen skin and lighter hair, paired with her darker black attire, nowhere to be found. There was no doubt about it though, it was her. Her voice was memorable enough that in normal circumstance he wouldn’t even need to check her scent.
“Hrrgrrrrr… Ghuhrr mghr…”
As cracked Chiptune underscored with low synthetic drones echoed through the room, he turned his head to the side with a huff. Five more minutes, that’s all he needed. Just five more… minutes….
A hand smacks right onto his mug defiantly, sharp cymbals clashing. “NOPE! No way you’re getting out of Bath Day, Ste-man! Sure, you’re not as stinky as Lion, but Pearl might freak out if she has to last one more day without givin’ you a scrub!”
He sighed heavily, a puff of air blowing back Amethyst’s hair purposefully, whether she could see it or not. Right, Bath Day. After his… corruption and… half de-corruption(?) nearly, wow, half a year now (that was gonna sit real well with him tonight), they’d all had to adapt a little bit, which lead to the creation of a joint Bath Day. Steven sat slightly larger than Lion in most aspects, which led to personal hygiene becoming a bit of a… challenge. The Gems had taken time away from Little Homeschool at that time, though they did eventually start teaching once more after the first few months- Pearl taking the longest to return- so the solution had ultimately been to lump him in with Lion’s Bath Days, where whoever was around worked to wrangle the cat with sponges and soap. It had been difficult, to say the least, the first months. Everything had felt very dehumanizing, heck he wasn’t human or gem at this point, including Bath Day, though it wasn’t quite as bad as flat out not having any clothes to wear anymore (though he had settled for having Connie wrap his favorite garments around his horns and wrists), but there was this ever-so-slowly sense of routine and not-quite-normalcy-but-something-akin forming. It was almost…. comfortable. Deep down that bothered the hybrid, really a lot of things bothered him, but he was too tired to address those feelings right now. Today would be a good day, especially when he got to see…
“Connie’s coming over in five, Garnet, Pearl, and I are taking the day off, and Greg’s gonna be bringing some veggies. Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth can’t make it this time-” Which earned a sigh from the hybrid- “I know, it sucks, they had class, I told them to skip- so it’s just gonna be your good ol’ fam today. Come down in a few, will ya’?” The Gem made to walk out, promptly running into one of Steven’s stashes (he had formed a bad habit of turning his little loft into a ‘nest’ of sorts, stashing piles around and burying himself into the corner). “And turn on some lights dude!”
Steven growled good-naturedly and, after a moment, tumbled off the side of his main crumple of blankets, six legs fumbling clumsily. He never was much of a morning person. Large tail tipped with a shark-like fin swishing, he crawled over to his light switch and flipped it with a dramatic huff, flopping onto his back, spines strewn about, webbed talons spread apart. Connie. She had gone off to college not long after Steven’s incident, but she was coming back to visit. On Bath Day of all things (he grumbled at that), but still. How he missed his Jam Bud. She had wanted to stay back, to try and find a ‘cure’ for his ailments (though, deep down, they knew this wasn’t something that had a ‘magic fix’), but Steven and eventually even the Crystal Gems themselves had convinced her otherwise. There were enough Gems around to help him, and Steven wasn’t quite sure what he’d do knowing Connie derailed her future for him. She visited a lot though, and they very often called- texting was a bit of struggle with his clunky claws- even if all he could do was grunt and growl. They’d been working on a new language of sorts actually, different growls and tones being fill ins for different words. It wasn’t quite finalized yet though, so it was just their own little communication right now. They planned to show the Gems once it was a bit more polished, whenever that would be.
The hybrid flipped himself back over, turning to face a mirror he had expertly stashed in a corner. He bent down to fully see himself with his four eyes, raking his claws through his mock mane and glancing at his tusks. Yep, he definitely had dragon breath. He stretched in front of the glass, yawning thoroughly. One of his stashes fell over. He grumbled, at the very least it wasn’t a stash he cared much for. His yawns had become just shy of destructive, accidental roars that rumbled the house. What he wouldn’t give to be that pudgy teen again.
Content with his appearance, he nudged open a curtain with his horn and went to open his sliding door to the main room (weren’t those just wonderful, both doors and lack of knobs?). The boy made his way down the stairs, six legs working in tandem to avoid absolutely face planting. It was not a pleasant experience, his nose crinkling at the thought.
“Good morning, Steven!” Pearl called from across the room, piano ringing out with her nose stuffed in a closet, undoubtedly looking for cleaning supplies.
“‘Morning.” Greeted Garnet’s synth bass from the kitchen, cooking what looked to be fish. The bass wasn't quite like his low ever-constant synthetic droning, no, that and his crackles had just been an unfortunate side effect of corruption.
Steven had hated that he had to betray his vegetarian diet, though admittedly he had already broken it during a visit with Jasper (nope, don’t think about that), and he had found out that he really did need to eat the meat after a not-so-fun ‘sickness.’ Pescetarian it is.
Steven called his usual good morning vocalizations and made his way to the bathroom, leaving the door open as he grabbed a large toothbrush and began to scrub at his teeth. Seriously, why did he have to have so many? And why were they so big?
It took a few minutes, but eventually the hybrid left the bathroom. He made to settle onto the couch, only to find Lion already taking up his spot.
“Lion…” He growled playful, raising an eyebrow. Lion gave him a side eye and turned away. Steven gasped in mock offense. “How could you?” The cat made no reaction, as if there wasn’t a beast looming over top him. “Fine then, you leave me no choice.”
Amethyst walked in, wiping her hands proudly as she proclaimed that the tubs were set up (ah, that’s where she had gone), to the dismay of two piled up creatures fighting for space on the couch, Steven currently burying Lion as the cat tugged at his tail, that was, until Connie followed right after Amethyst.
“I figured I’d give Amethyst hand while I was out there- OOF!” There was a blur of pink as Steven barrelled into her with what only she could recognize as a yowl of ‘Strawberry!’ He took in her scent, her touch, everything he could. Stars, how he missed her. “Ha! Nice to see you too, Biscuit, butIcan’tbreathe-” Connie squeaked out.
“Right, right, sorry!” He apologized, slipping into their little language, substituting the actual direction of right in and hoping Connie would get it. She seemingly did, hugging him fully once she had regained her footing. “Missed you too, bud. Also stars, you DO stink!” Steven snorted at this, Lion approaching to greet his sword mother. “And so do you, Lion!” The girl exclaimed as he nuzzled up against her.
“Well, good thing breakfast’s served!” Called another voice. Greg, his father, strutted in, carrying a big bag full of full-sized vegetables and fruits. Steven gave him a very similar treatment to Connie, albeit much more toned down after a loving, “Careful with the goods, Schtu-ball!”
—-----------------------------------------------
Breakfast was delicious, per usual. Steven’s family, after learning how to actually cook and replacing the occasional box of cat food with actual food in his youth, really never did go wrong with food. However, on Bath Days, it always tended to be just a little bit richer, a little bit more delicious, if that was even possible. Bath Day had a history of being rough for Steven. But, in his defense, who would really be okay with it? Washed like an actual animal, it was just so, so, for lack of a better word, dehumanizing. Nobody liked doing it, but it was the best solution they could come up with. Steven couldn’t fit in the shower, and the ocean was way too salty to actually clean him much. He didn’t really need daily washes, able to keep himself clean for the most part, so the occasional tub it was, and they did try to make it as entertaining as possible. Lapis had a lot more fun torturing Peridot with Lion’s bathwater than she’d ever admit, and it made for a great show. It was a bummer they wouldn’t be here today, but naturally, they had lives. Steven, at the moment, couldn’t really ‘have a life.’ per se. He just couldn’t actually do a whole ton, but he was getting there! He’d helped with trimming flowers and even, late at night, helped redecorate Little Homeschool for the winter holidays. It was just going to take time. If only his mental state was a bit healthier, his gem a bit more cooperative, maybe he’d be back to normal by now. Maybe his gem wouldn’t be so drained and tired from transforming and he could revert all the way, maybe he wouldn’t hate himself.
Someday. Ideally, now.
But, of course, that didn’t happen. Instead, ‘now’ consisted of sitting around the kitchen island, stools pulled to the side to make space for Steven. He bit into the small portion of fish he had allowed Garnet to give him. His plate (while utensils didn’t work great for him, he at least insisted on keeping a plate) consisted mostly of uncut vegetables, or it had, anyway, before he absolutely inhaled them.
“Stars Steven, you act like we don’t feed you!” Pearl scolded playfully.
“Is good!” He grunted between chews, stars in his eyes.
“He knows good cooking when he tastes it.” Garnet commented smugly, seeing as the fish was almost completely gone which, by Steven standards, was impressive.
“Maybe I should’a bought more produce, huh?” Greg rubbed at the back of his head, a fork full of fish in his other hand. “Didn’t realize the Gems were practically starving you!”
“Nah, he’s just a growin’ boy, aren’t ya, Stev-o?” Amethyst teased, tossing a carrot to him that he caught with the pierce of curled horn. Distracted, however, he quickly realized he didn’t quite think that one through, struggling to dislodge it. Steven turned to Amethyst with a grumble as she burst into a fit of laughter, toms exploding off a set. “Ha ha, ha. Very funny.” Sarcasm lacing his growls as the rest of the table began giggling bemusedly. Covering her mouth, Connie reached over and plucked it off his horn, placing it back onto his plate. “I gotcha, Biscuit,” She commented between snickers. He glared at the carrot for a moment before letting his appetite get to the best of him and finishing off his plate. The hybrid then proceeded to use the table as a chin rest, huffing a “Thank you, Connie.” Amethyst retaliating, proclaimed, “Oh, don’t be such a bum ‘bout it. I’m only kiddin’!”
“So, Connie, how’s college been?” Pearl inquired. “Some time has passed now, hasn’t it?”
Connie started rambling about her academics, but Steven wasn’t really listening to what she was actually saying. He was more content in just watching her, as if she were his whole world. She was so cute when she got flustered over her roommate’s subpar time management skills.
“You’re staring,” Connie teased him when the conversation drifted off of her. His eyes, when had they become heavy-lidded?, snapped wide. Normally, he’d be embarrassed, pink heating his cheeks. However, payback was in order for earlier, so instead he cooed, “I have double the eye now, it is wrong if not use them good, Strawberry? You much pretty!” It was very intentionally in their half-baked language, so while the words were stilted, he made sure to use firmly established terms so she wouldn’t miss a meaning. It had its intended effect, a warm scarlet painting her cheeks. “You sap!” She scolded, bopping him on the nose. He grinned cheekily.
“How do you do that, Connie?” Greg asked suddenly behind them. She looked back inquisitively. “Ah, just… know what he says? I always feel bad when I can’t quite guess it,” He looked apologetically to Steven, who gave him just as sympathetic a look (the newfound language barrier had been a struggle for all of them), “But you always seem spot on. I know you two are close, but you’re scarily accurate sometimes.”
The two flushed, embarrassed. “Well… about that…” Connie began, turning to Steven, a question in her gaze. “Grr- It is good hgrrr- much for begin, yes? Just hurr- basic? Potential help?” Steven suggested in a low voice, untranslated words peeking through that he quickly corrected. Connie, after a moment, nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. We probably should’ve already told them about it, huh?” Steven just gave hapless so-so shake of his head. Up until now, it probably wouldn’t have been much use anyway.
“For the record,” Connie began, turning back to the now stern faced table, “We were gonna tell you guys as soon as we had it perfected a little bit more, but now’s as good a time as any. We’ve been working on translating Steven’s growls, creating a little language, if you will.” She rubbed at the back of her head. Steven muttered, “It is raagr why we have rugh talkrrh rha much latehurr….” He didn’t really expect to be understood, so he talked more lax than he usually would’ve, only keeping in mind as to remove the contractions for Connie’s sake. “Uh, he said it’s kinda why we’ve been talking so much lately-” She glanced over to him just to make sure she filled in the blanks properly- “and yeah, he’s right. We’ve been taking audio samples and putting them down in a doc to keep track of. I’ve been working on memorizing them and, thankfully, his sentence structure is still the same, so it’s just been a matter of sifting through them all. There’s a lot of words…” She sighed.
“No say because confuse…” Steven breathed. “He said,” Even though it got repetitive, she always specified if he said it because he said it, not her, “That we didn’t tell you guys because we worried it would get confusing since the definitions were always subject to change and very little was actually translated and-”
Garnet held up a hand. “Thank you two for telling us. It’s a very smart idea,”
“Why didn’t any of us think of that?” Cried Pearl, her piano hitting a sharp note.
“And it’ll be very useful. This language barrier has been… a nuisance.” The fusion moved to rub the heads of both kids. “You two are so clever.” They blushed under the praise.
“I do wish you kiddos told us sooner, but I’m proud o’ you two.” Grinned Greg. “Connie, would you be willing to share that doc with us? It might not be complete but… I’m sure it’ll take us a while to learn and there’s no better time to start than now, right?” Steven’s heart felt like it could burst. Stars, he loved his family. But they shouldn’t have to worry about him, to go this extra step, to- nOPE! Now is NOT the time!
Connie glanced at him for a moment, concern sparkling in her eyes, then nodded. “Of course.”
“What if we got Peridot involved?” Amethyst finally spoke. “Maybe she could make some type of auto-translator?"
Connie and Pearl both hummed for a moment. " It'd certainly be possible, it’s more so a matter of how advanced the database would be.” She looked at the human.
"Yeah, it could probably work.” Was Connie’s half mumbled reply, still clearly in thought.
"I’ll bring it up to her next time I see her,” Promised Pearl.
Steven might get his voice back. Steven might get his voice back. Part of him wanted to be excited, but how could he be? He didn't deserve his voice, not when all he would do is hurt and break the Gem’s all over again. No, he couldn't get his voice back.
Connie’s hand pressed firmly onto his neck, causing Steven to jump in surprise, spines flaring. There was a look in her eye, one that told him he was definitely in for a talk later. He just gave her a flimsy and rather guilty smile. She cocked an eyebrow. Gosh, nothing could get past her, could it? Or maybe he was just anything but subtle. Probably that. Or both. Both is good.
Greg had put the dishes away at some point, and finally proclaimed, “Who's ready for bath time?!" Conveniently, Lion was nowhere to be found.
—-----------------------------------------------
Water ran down Steven’s face as he gripped multiple bristled brushes in his various paws, working them in different spots. The large metallic tub was filled to the brim with foamy water that occasionally sloshed over the sides as he shifted. It was placed in a secluded part of the beach- Steven was a bit too shy to have it out in the open like Lion’s- that offered up some shade. Greg doused his head with a hose as Connie balanced in between his spines, working in the spots he couldn’t reach himself with a hum.
“Lift your head up now, will ya’ bud?”
He shifted so that Greg could get to his throat, and eventually moved onto his haunches so that his stomach was more easily reachable. He couldn’t suppress watery chortles as the sensitive scales got tickled.
“Oh, ticklish, huh?” His dad inquired, cheekily turning the water pressure up.
“HEY!” He roared in between laughs, dropping his brushes. Connie yelped, gripping onto a spine, as Steven spun his finned tail towards his dad, absolutely drenching the man. He spat out water, eyes narrowing onto the hybrid. “Oh, YOU ASKED FOR IT!”
“Where the HURK did you get another har!?” Cried Steven as his dad managed to somehow acquire a second hose. Connie climbed onto Steven’s head, wielding her brush as if it were a sword. “Brace for impact!” She cried as Greg mock-cocked his hoses, gripping them as if they were machine guns. Water pelted Steven in the face, causing him to sputter and rear back as Connie squealed. Laughing, he leapt out of the tub and tried to run a circle around the man to escape the water’s jet. There was no luck, and as he neared the tub again, he made the split section decision to wind up his hind legs and shoot overtop the stream, landing just short of on the man, Connie whooping. Greg had fallen, hoses at his sides as he lay on his back.
“GOTURH YA-” Steven roared triumphantly, before being stopped dead in his tracks.
Something’s wrong.
No, it’s not? What would be wrong?
Something’s wrong.
Nothing’s wrong.
The hybrid’s eyes met his father. Something was there that shouldn’t be there.
Fear.
Fear.
FEAR.
His dad was scared of him.
His dad was scared of him.
His dad was scared of him. His dad was scared of him. His dad wasscaredofhim.HisdidwasscaredofhimHisdadwasscaredofhimHe’samonsterHe’samonster-
Something in his expression gave him away.
“Schtu-ball? You- you okay?”
His breathing came in heavy gasps.
“Steven. Steven.” Connie pressed, waving her hand in front of his eyes.
He backed up slowly. “Youhrr scarerhd.” He whispered. Stars, what had he done? He… He needed space.
“No, Steven, NO.” Connie gritted, forcing her face into his line of eyesight. “He was just caught off guard, we love you. Whatever you’re thinking, wherever you’re going, we could never be afraid of you. Look at me, Biscuit. Look at me.”
Steven’s eyes slowly unblurred and looked at her sopping wet face, hair hanging down in strands of spaghetti.
“Breathe with me, okay? Remember? ‘In for four, out for eight, keep your cool, now you’re great.’ Ready? In for four,” He inhaled through his nose. “Out for eight,” He exhaled through his mouth. “Keep your cool…”
“Now youhr great.”
They took another minute just to breathe, Steven’s spines slowly laying flat. He was okay. He was loved. He wasn’t a monster. He had just spooked his dad, that’s all. It was a normal reaction. It still hurt, but he couldn’t blame his dad.
Of course he couldn’t.
When the hybrid eventually worked up the courage, he slowly opened his eyes. Only two of them, but it was still something. They met his father’s once more, however, this time, all there was was concern and sympathy and love. His dad loved him.
Of course his dad loved him.
“I’m so sorry Steven,” The old man began. “You just caught me off guard, honest. I could never hate you, or fear you, or anything but love you.” He spread his arms wide. “Promise.”
Steven paused for a moment, then nuzzled into his father’s embrace. Connie gently dismounted as the two just stood there like that for a moment. “I pushed you too far. I’m sorry,” Murmured Greg. Steven grunted nothing in particular.
“Do you want to go sunbathe for a bit and dry off?”
“Mhghm.”
—-----------------------------------------------
Steven woke up. He’d drifted off at some point, though he wasn’t sure when. The sand was soft, the sun was warm, and Connie and Greg’s sweet nothings were so soothing, he just couldn’t resist. He flicked his eyes both ways, his bottom set looking left and top set looking right, to see if they were still around. They were, however they, unlike Steven, were both wide awake and looking warmly at him.
“Mornin’ sleepy head.” Greeted Greg. “I woulda’ told the Gems where we were at but y’know… once a Steven falls asleep, you can’t move.” Steven cracked a grin. “You okay if I go let them know what’s up?”
He nodded.
As the old man left, Steven turned to Connie, meeting her gaze. Something in him broke, and he laid his head on her lap, tears dripping from his eyes.
“Oh, Steven,” She sighed, gently brushing his head. “We love you, you know that? I love you. I saw those looks earlier, the way you got into your own head. Everything we do, we want to do for you. No, sh, don’t even start that. You deserve it, and even if, in some twisted reality, you didn’t, you can’t stop us from giving it to you. Suck it up, buttercup. We’re here for you, whether you like it or not.”
A large part of him wanted to deny it, to insist he was indeed a monster, but, for this fleeting moment, and with the potential promise of getting his voice back, he let himself accept it.
He laughed between sobs, song cracking. “I love you.”
She just kissed him on the head.
Maybe Bath Days weren’t so bad after all.