Work Text:
Send another weak “I’m Sorry”
Unforgivable as always
I know you had seen somebody
Was it worth causing all my darkest days
Han knew his relationship with Woongki was slowly becoming strained.
Constant nights of Han coming home to an empty apartment, text message history filled with excuses of being held up and work and weak I’m sorry’s. He knows those were just excuses.
For the last month Woongki had been working on this huge project at school, taking on a leadership role with one of his classmates. This Jeongwoo person was the one name that frequently left Woongki’s lips. Han wished he could just pretend and tell himself that he wasn’t worried, but that would be a lie. He knew he had to do something to ease his mind. Woongki’s birthday party was the perfect distraction.
The party was everything Han loved.
Loud music. Flashing lights. People dancing like no one was watching.
Dressed in his vintage Chanel leather biker jacket. Hair styled to show off his forehead. Adorned with different pieces of jewelry, Han stood in front of the mirror, adjusting his silver necklace.
"Perfect."
He looked expensive.
That was the goal.
He wanted to look invincible
He wanted to feel invincible.
If Woongki was slowly drifting away from him, tonight he would remind him what was waiting at home for him.
She was at your party, You said not to worry
Doesn’t really matter anyway
Begging you to call me
Spin another story while I’m far away
The party was loud enough to make the walls shake and Han was trying his best to have fun.
He spent most of his time being a good host, asking people if they were having fun, refilling the cooler with cheap alcohol, and greeting guests at the door, but never forgetting to be with Woongki.
Han had been standing beside Woongki for most of the night, laughing at jokes he couldn't hear and pretending the flashing lights weren't giving him a headache. He stepped aside for a moment to get himself some water. On the outside Han looked like the textbook definition of chill, but on the inside he was anything but that.
Earlier in the night while Han went to go refill the drinks Woongki brought over someone to meet Han. In front of him was the person Han had been mentally battling for the last month.
Jeongwoo.
“Han, this is Jeongwoo, the friend I told you I’m working on a project with.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, Woongki’s talked so much about you.”
“Nice to meet you too Jeongwoo.”
That’s all he said
That’s all he could say.
He would be a liar if he said Jeongwoo wasn’t attractive. He had a strong build, deep soothing voice, a kind pair of eyes, and a warm smile.
The textbook definition of what a perfect boyfriend should look like.
Now that he could put a face to a name Han can see why Woongki would want to spend so much time with him. He couldn’t help but get a queasy feeling in his stomach at the thought of how much they’ve been together, alone, at work for the last month but he couldn’t dwell on that too much. He would just have to talk to Woongki about it later.
Han turned to face Woongki to ask him if he was having fun,
But Woongki was gone.
Han wasn't worried.
He knew Woongki.
He'd learned his habits, his expressions, the little ways he needed to step back and take a breather when he got too overstimulated but didn’t want anyone else to know.
Han knew him better than anyone.
That was why, when he found Woongki in the hallway with Jeongwoo, he understood what he was seeing immediately.
Woongki, pushed up against the wall, arms around Jeongwoo’s neck, hands lost in the other's hair.
They were kissing.
For a while too judging by the amount of hickeys on Jeongwoo’s neck
Han stared for a moment.
Then he started laughing.
Startled by the sudden noise, Woongki and Jeongwoo pulled away from each other.
The second they made eye contact, Woongki's face had gone as pale as a ghost.
"Han—"
Han raised an eyebrow.
"Interesting."
Woongki immediately stepped away from Jeongwoo. As if Jeongwoo was suddenly a piece of hot coal and Woongki just got burned.
"Wait, it's not—"
"Don't insult me." Han folded his arms.
Woongki went quiet.
Han glanced between them.
"So this is what you've been doing?"
His voice was remarkably calm.
His expression wasn't sad.
If anything, he looked amused.
"So that's why you’ve been coming home so late."
Suddenly everything made sense. All the late replies. The excuses. The forgotten date night meals that Han always had to finish by himself.
The times Woongki had made Han second guess himself.
It all made sense.
A couple beats of silence passed between the three of them. The roaring noise of the party was going on behind them, but at this moment all that was heard was silence.
"Hani please I’m so sorry–”
Woongki started to plead, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
Han tilted his head.
"Are you? Because you don't look very sorry."
Woongki looked down.
Han sighed.
"Honestly, I'm not even angry." At Han’s words Woongki looked up from the floor, eyes filled with confusion.
"You aren't?"
"Nope."
Han gave him a small smile.
"I'm mostly impressed."
"Impressed?"
"You managed to make breaking up with you incredibly easy.” Han managed to say, zero emotion found in his voice. “You just wanted something new."
Jeongwoo looked uncomfortable.
Han didn't.
"No offense."
Jeongwoo nodded.
"None taken."
Han looked back at Woongki.
Woongki didn't respond.
Han shrugged.
"Congratulations." Han smiled. "Enjoy your new boy."
He walked away before Woongki could answer.
I, I bet she rock brand-new chanel$
What a chop, I cut you off and get away, yeah
I, I;m better off, I always knew you’d do it
Why’d you have to lie? Made me feel crazy
Han left the apartment, he couldn’t be in there anymore.
Outside he could finally breathe. Letting go of all the worry and stress he felt in the last month in one single breath. The moment Han stepped out into the street he felt different.
The city was cold and bright.
Buildings towering over him.
Luxury storefronts glowed behind glass.
Everything looked polished.
Untouchable.
Brand new.
There was a non-stop buzzing in his back pocket. Han took out his phone.
Twenty-three unread messages.
Fifteen missed calls.
Ten voicemails left.
Most were from Woongki. Some were from their mutual friends. All of them asking where he went, saying something along the lines of “Woongki is looking for you, he’s crying, where did you go?”
He deleted each and every one of them, not caring enough to respond.
Then he blocked Woongki on everything. Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok, Snapchat, his phone number. He removed him off of everything
Walking past a storefront he paused for a second to look at himself. His hair was messed up from the wind, the tip of his nose pink from the chill in the air, his eyes rimmed red with tears, but all he could look at was the necklace around his neck. It was a gift from Woongki on their one-year anniversary. It was a silver interlocked ring with the words “Together Forever” engraved on it.
He removed the necklace Woongki had given him.
For a moment, he held it in his palm.
Then he dropped it into the trash.
The gesture was small.
But it felt enormous.
He wasn't just getting rid of jewelry.
He was getting rid of the version of himself who had believed all the lies. The version of himself who felt crazy. The version of himself who needed Woongki to feel valuable.
Han straightened his jacket, fixed his hair, and kept walking.
"Brand new."
He smiled.
Not because he wasn't hurt.
Because he was deciding what came next.
I wonder if you got her in your room
I call you on the phone to start a fight
I know what you do
I see how you move
But I’m here standing still
“You’re taking this surprisingly well.” a voice called out to him, stopping Han in his tracks. He turned around to see who it was.
Shuaibo. Han smiled.
A mutual friend of both Han and Woongki. Han first met Shuaibo during one of Woongki’s karaoke parties. He could vividly remember both Shuaibo and Woongki drunkenly singing Feel Special by TWICE on top of the table in their rented karaoke space.
“I saw what happened, I went to look for Woongki then saw the three of you in the hallway.”
“Oh. Did you expect me to start crying?” he asked.
“A little bit.”
"Why?"
"Because you just caught your boyfriend cheating."
"Ex-boyfriend." Han corrected.
Shuaibo laughed at how absurd this situation has become "That was fast."
"He made it easy."
Shuaibo laughed.
"You really aren't upset?"
Han thought about it. Thought about all the time and effort he put into their relationship. All the dates that he planned, the gifts he bought him, the meals he cooked. All the apologies he had to give, even when he was in the right. All the gifts he bought him just to make him feel better. He realized he was putting his all into a relationship that wasn’t giving anything back to him.
“No, I’m not.” He started, “I mean I’m kind of upset I wasted a perfectly good weekend on that party.”
"That's it?"
"Pretty much." Han looked at him with a genuine smile on his face, “but yeah, I’m okay. Thanks for asking.”
Shuaibo laughed at how non-chalant Han was about the whole ordeal before pausing, “You’re thinking about something right now aren’t you?”
Han looked at him “How could you tell?” he asked
Shuaibo gave him a smile, “You have your thinking face on. It’s when your eyebrows start to furrow and a tiny pout forms on your lips making you look like an angry cat.” he said.
“I do not look like an angry cat!”
“Have you looked in a mirror recently?” Both of them ended up bending over in laughter, not caring where they were or how loud they were being. After they both calmed down Han spoke up.
"I was thinking about Chanel."
Shuaibo blinked in confusion.
"Chanel?"
"Yeah."
“Like the brand?
“Yup!”
"Why?"
Han thought about it for a second
"Because everyone thinks newer automatically means better."
Shuaibo tilted his head in confusion. "Okay..."
“Ugh here let me explain.” Han grabbed Shuaibo’s hand and dragged them to the park across the street, sitting them both down on the swings.
"Imagine two bags–" Han started.
"You're seriously talking about handbags right now?"
"Let me finish. It'll make sense in the end!"
"Fine." Shuaibo laughed, focusing all his attention on Han as he continued
"One is brand new. Perfect. Untouched. Not a single mark on it." Han started, again, “Everyone automatically thinks it’s the most valuable one because it’s brand new, and hasn't been used yet.”
"And the other?"
"Older."
"Damaged?" Shauibo asked.
"Not necessarily."
Han shook his head.
"Just older, more used. Carried around. Broken in."
Shuaibo nodded.
"And you think the older one is better?" He asked
"I think it's more interesting."
"Why?"
"Because it has a history."
Shuaibo smiled at him.
"You're comparing yourself to a handbag."
"I'm making a point."
"And what exactly is your point?"
Han looked up at the night sky.
"Woongki wanted something new."
Shuaibo's expression softened. "And you're saying..."
"That doesn't mean what he had before suddenly became worthless or less valuable."
Shuaibo was quiet.
Han continued.
"Something new doesn't know anything yet." Han said "About being carried through bad days, good days, long nights, fights, everything." He glanced at Shuaibo.
"Something old has proof that it can last." Han said with a content smile on his face “Something old will be with you for as long as you need it to be.”
Shuaibo smiled. "That's actually kind of beautiful."
Han looked suspiciously at him, eyeing Shuaibo up and down before raising an eyebrow at him.
"Did you just call my handbag metaphor beautiful?"
"Maybe."
"Don't tell anyone."
"I won't."
"Good."
A couple of minutes passed between the two. No words exchanged, just comfort in each other's presence. After a few more minutes, Shuaibo spoke again.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Why don't you hate Woongki?" Shuaibo asked, “If I were in your position I would be so pissed right now.”
Han shrugged.
"What's the point?"
"He cheated on you."
"Exactly."
"And that doesn't make you angry?"
"It did when I first found out, like forty minutes ago."
"And now?"
Han thought for a moment. "Now I'm mostly relieved."
"Relieved?" the taller male asked.
"I kept wondering whether I was doing something wrong."
Shuaibo looked at him.
"Because of him?"
"Yeah." Han laughed. "I kept thinking that maybe I wasn't exciting enough, or I wasn't interesting enough. Maybe Jeongwoo had something I didn't have."
Shuaibo frowned.
"Han."
"What?"
"None of that matters."
"I know that now."
"Good."
Han bumped his shoulder against his.
"You know what?"
"What?"
"I'm glad you're here."
Shuaibo looked at him.
"Me too."
For a moment, neither said anything.
Then Han stood.
"Come on."
"Where?"
"Somewhere that doesn't smell like rust and baby shit."
Shuaibo laughed.
"That's a very low bar."
"I'm setting realistic goals."
~~~
Three weeks passed without either of them quite acknowledging what was happening.
At first, Han and Shuaibo were simply friends who happened to spend an unreasonable amount of time together. Shuaibo was adamant in checking in on how Han was doing.
Then they became friends who texted each other every morning.
Then friends who would send funny videos and say “thought of you.”
Then friends who knew each other's coffee orders.
Neither of them called it anything.
They didn't need to, because their friendship developed its own rhythm.
They studied together, although Han spent more time distracting Shuaibo than studying.
They went out for food late at night.
They sent each other pictures of things they thought the other would like.
Whenever Han had a bad day, Shuaibo somehow appeared with a drink.
Whenever Shuaibo was tired, Han would silently take whatever he was carrying and refuse to give it back.
"You know I can carry my own bag," Shuaibo complained one evening.
"I know."
"Then give it back."
"No."
"Han."
"You've been carrying things all day."
"So?"
"So I'm carrying it now."
"You don't have to take care of me."
Han glanced at him.
"I know."
"Then why?"
"Because I want to."
Shuaibo smiled.
"You're really stubborn."
"I prefer the words ‘strong-willed.'"
~~~
One evening, they were walking home when Han suddenly stopped. At the sudden movement Shuaibo turned around.
"What?"
"You have something in your hair."
"Where?"
"Here."
Han reached up and carefully brushed something away.
Shuaibo didn't move.
Neither did Han.
For several seconds, they simply looked at each other.
Han lowered his hand.
"Thanks," Shuaibo said quietly.
"You're welcome."
Neither walked away.
Han smiled.
"You know, we've gotten pretty close."
Shuaibo nodded.
"Yeah."
"Closer than friends usually get."
"Probably."
Han tilted his head.
"Does that bother you?"
"No."
"Good."
Han started walking again.
Shuaibo followed. "Why did you ask?"
Han smiled without looking back.
"Curiosity."
"Hey, what do you mean by that?"
Han just laughed and kept walking.
"Park Han, you get back here!" Shuaibo yelled, chasing after Han as he started to run.
To an outsider they might sound like some crazy people, but to them? All you could hear is the sound of two boys finding joy in one another.
~~~
One day after they both had gotten off work they stopped by a cafe, one of the smaller ones tucked between two brightly lit storefronts. It was warm inside, fogged windows blurring the city into soft streaks of color. Quiet music played from somewhere behind the counter, almost disappearing beneath the occasional clink of cups and silverware.
Han sat across from Shuaibo, one elbow resting against the table.
He'd noticed something almost immediately.
Shuaibo had barely touched his drink.
Instead, he kept turning the paper sleeve around his cup, staring at it like it contained the answer to a question he couldn't quite bring himself to ask.
Han watched him for another minute.
"You've been staring at that coffee for ten minutes."
Shuaibo looked up.
"I'm thinking."
"That's dangerous."
A small smile appeared on Shuaibo's face, but it disappeared almost as quickly.
Han's expression softened.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong."
"Then what's going on?"
Shuaibo hesitated.
The warm café lights caught the side of his face as he looked toward the window. Outside, people hurried past beneath umbrellas, completely unaware of the conversation happening inside.
"I've just been thinking about that night."
"The party?"
"Yeah."
Shuaibo lowered his eyes.
"I told you how much I hate cheating."
Han nodded.
"Because of your parents."
"Yeah."
Shuaibo wrapped both hands around his cup.
"My mom cheated on my dad. I was younger, but I remember how much it hurt him."
His voice was quiet.
Not dramatic.
Just honest.
"He kept wondering what he'd done wrong. Whether he'd been enough. Whether there was something he could've changed."
Han listened without interrupting.
Shuaibo stared into his coffee.
"I hated that."
Han reached across the table and gently touched his hand.
"You don't have to talk about it."
"I want to."
Shuaibo looked up.
"That's why what Woongki did bothered me so much. I didn't want you thinking the same things my dad did."
Han squeezed his hand.
"I never did."
"I know."
Shuaibo smiled faintly.
"But I still worried."
For a moment, Han watched him.
There was something different about Shuaibo when he talked about this. He wasn't simply explaining why he disliked cheating. He was showing Han a piece of himself that he didn't usually let people see.
Han's thumb brushed once across Shuaibo's knuckles.
"Can I tell you something?"
"Of course."
Han leaned back slightly.
His heart was beating faster than he'd expected.
"I think I've been avoiding saying it because I didn't want to make things complicated."
Shuaibo's eyes met his.
"What?"
Han smiled.
He'd spent the last three weeks joking with Shuaibo, teasing him, finding excuses to sit beside him. Somehow, saying three simple words to him suddenly felt more intimidating than confronting Woongki at the party.
The noise of the café seemed to fade for a moment.
Han took a breath.
"I like you."
Shuaibo froze.
Han continued before either of them could overthink it.
"Not because Woongki cheated. Not because I needed somebody afterward. And definitely not because you're some replacement."
He shook his head.
"I like you because of the three weeks we've spent together."
Shuaibo's expression softened.
"Really?"
"Don't interrupt."
Shuaibo let out a soft giggle "Sorry."
Han smiled.
"I like that you remember little things I say."
"I do?"
"All the time."
Han started counting on his fingers.
"You remember how I take my coffee. You know when I'm actually joking and when I'm pretending to joke. You know I hate waiting around for people."
Shuaibo laughed.
"You really hate that."
"Exactly."
Han smiled across the table.
"And you stayed with me that night."
Shuaibo's smile faded into something gentler.
"You didn't have to."
"I wanted to."
"I know."
"And that's the thing."
Han's fingers curled slightly around Shuaibo's hand.
"You kept choosing to be around me."
Shuaibo looked at him.
"And I've started to choose you too."
The words settled between them.
Han looked down at their hands.
Three weeks ago, they hadn't even been close enough to touch like this.
Now it felt strangely natural.
He looked back up.
"I look for you when I walk into a room now."
Shuaibo's eyes widened slightly.
"I've started wanting to tell you about everything that happened that day." Han laughed softly. "Even stupid things."
"I like the stupid things."
"I know."
Han's smile became smaller, more sincere.
"And when something good happens, you're the first person I think about telling."
Shuaibo stared at him.
Han held his gaze.
"So Shuaibo I'm not confused."
"You're not?"
"No."
Han leaned forward across the little table.
"I know exactly what I want."
Shuaibo's voice was almost a whisper.
"What do you want?"
"You."
Shuaibo looked down, and Han caught the tiny smile that appeared on his face.
Han tilted his head.
"Is that a problem?"
"No."
"Good."
Han reached across the table again and intertwined their fingers.
"Because I was hoping you'd let me take you out."
Shuaibo laughed nervously.
"You mean like a date?"
"Yes."
"You're asking me?"
"Obviously."
“Out. On a date.”
The nervousness in Shuaibo's expression made Han smile. Shuaibo studied him for a moment.
Then his shoulders relaxed.
"Then yes."
Han's smile widened.
"Good."
"That's it?"
"What else do you want?"
"I don't know. A romantic speech?"
"You just got one."
"That was a confession."
"Exactly. What’s more romantic than me professing my undying love to you!"
Shuaibo laughed.
The sound made Han smile.
It was strange how quickly the tension had disappeared. A few minutes ago, Shuaibo had been nervously turning his coffee cup around in circles. Now he was sitting comfortably, their hands still joined across the table.
"You're impossible," Shuaibo said.
"And you're still holding my hand."
Shuaibo looked down.
He was.
"Maybe I don't want to let go."
Han smiled.
"Then don't."
Neither of them moved.
Outside, the rain had started falling harder, turning the windows into sheets of silver. Inside, everything felt warmer.
Han realized he wasn't thinking about Woongki anymore.
Not even a little.
He wasn't wondering what Woongki was doing.
He wasn't wondering whether Woongki regretted losing him.
He wasn't trying to prove that he'd moved on.
He was simply sitting across from someone he genuinely liked, holding his hand beneath the warm café lights.
Then Shuaibo looked at him.
"I'm glad you're not sad about what happened."
Han nodded. "Me too."
"Because?"
Han thought about it.
"Because if Woongki hadn't done what he did, I might never have realized what I actually wanted."
Shuaibo smiled.
"And that's me?"
Han squeezed his hand. "That's you."
He leaned forward slightly.
"And if you're wondering whether I'm comparing you to him..."
"I'm not."
"Good." Han smiled.
"Because there isn't a comparison."
Shuaibo's cheeks turned pink.
Han noticed immediately.
"You're blushing."
"Stop."
"No."
"Han."
"I like it."
Shuaibo laughed.
"You're really going to be like this now that we're dating?"
Han smiled.
"Absolutely."
"You're certain we're dating?"
Han raised an eyebrow.
"You said yes."
"I did."
"Then congratulations."
"For what?"
Han leaned back with a satisfied smile.
"You're dating me now."
Shuaibo laughed.
"I think I'm okay with that."
"You'd better be."
The rain continued tapping against the windows.
Their drinks slowly went cold.
Neither of them cared.
~~~
It's been a couple weeks since they started dating and the two of them are out for Han’s birthday. The club was packed, all pulsing lights and heavy bass, with colored beams sweeping across the crowd every few seconds. Han had spent the entire evening surrounded by friends, laughing over birthday drinks and accepting increasingly ridiculous birthday wishes.
A small silver birthday crown sat crookedly on his head.
Shuaibo had tried to fix it three times.
Han kept putting it back crooked.
"Stop fixing it," Han said, laughing.
"It looks ridiculous."
"It's my birthday. I'm allowed to look ridiculous."
Shuaibo smiled.
"Fair."
Han raised his glass.
"To me."
"To you."
They clinked glasses. Then Han leaned in for a small peck on Shuaibo’s lips
Han grinned.
"Best birthday ever."
Shuaibo looked at him.
"Already?"
"Already."
The two of them stood near the bar, sharing a drink and talking over the music when Han suddenly spotted two familiar faces across the room.
Woongki.
And Jeongwoo.
Han paused for half a second before smiling.
Shuaibo noticed immediately.
"Is that—"
"Yep."
"Do you want to leave?"
Han laughed.
"Why would I?" He took Shuaibo's hand and led him through the crowd. "It's my birthday. I'm not letting anybody ruin it."
Woongki noticed them approaching and gave an awkward smile, briefly glancing at Jeongwoo.
"Hey, Han."
"Hey."
"Happy birthday."
"Thanks."
There was a brief moment of awkwardness before Han laughed.
"How have you been?"
"Good."
Woongki glanced at Shuaibo.
"Looks like you two are doing well."
Han smiled. "We are."
Shuaibo nodded.
"Very well."
Jeongwoo smiled.
"I'm glad."
Han looked between the two of them.
"Seriously, we're good."
Woongki nodded.
"I wanted to apologize again."
Han waved his hand dismissively.
"You don't have to keep apologizing."
"I know. I just wanted you to know I meant it."
Han smiled.
"I know."
The music shifted into a faster song, and colored lights flashed across their faces. For a moment, the four of them stood together beneath the strobes, the awkwardness slowly dissolving into something almost ordinary.
Jeongwoo’s laughter interrupted the silent tension in the room.
"Honestly, I think this worked out for everyone."
Han raised an eyebrow.
"That's a bold statement."
"I mean..."
Jeongwoo glanced at Woongki.
"He's happy. You're happy."
Han looked at Shuaibo.
Shuaibo was already smiling.
"He's right."
Han laughed.
"Fine. I'll give you that one."
Woongki smiled.
"No hard feelings?"
Han shook his head.
"None."
He looked at Jeongwoo.
"Really."
Jeongwoo smiled.
"Good."
Shuaibo leaned toward Han, whispering in his ear. "Are we done being mature?"
Han laughed.
"Absolutely."
He turned toward Woongki.
"Take care."
"You too."
Han took Shuaibo's hand.
"Come on."
"Where?"
"Why the dance floor of course!" Han grinned, “You can’t deny the birthday boy a dance on his special day.”
Shuaibo laughed.
"Of course."
As they disappeared into the crowd, Han glanced back once.
Woongki and Jeongwoo were already talking to each other, completely at ease.
Han smiled and turned back around.
The bass shook through the floor as Shuaibo pulled him closer.
"You really aren't bothered?"
Han shook his head.
"Not anymore." He smiled. "And we're happy."
"Exactly."
Han wrapped an arm around Shuaibo and grinned.
"So stop looking over there."
Shuaibo laughed.
"Okay."
"Look at me."
Shuaibo did.
Han smiled.
"Much better."
The lights flashed around them, and the crowd swallowed everything else.
There was no jealousy.
No resentment.
No need for revenge.
Just four people who had moved on in different directions—and two of them who had found something worth staying for.
Han had spent weeks thinking about the difference between something new and something with history.
Maybe that was why this felt so right.
What he and Shuaibo had wasn't brand new anymore.
It had three weeks of inside jokes, late-night conversations, remembered coffee orders, shared walks, and quiet moments.
It already had a history.
For once, the past wasn't following him into the new chapter.
He was simply celebrating the fact that he'd already started it.
And they were only getting started.
He wanted brand new chanel$