Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The ashes were burning her throat as if it was on fire. She could barely breathe, and every time she could, her breathing was thick and heavy. Her elbow pained her, and she couldn’t lift her sword up anymore. Blood was covering her face, she’d lost her helmet at some point in the battle, she didn’t know when. She could feel the spear running through her left side but she tried to move anyway, only to fall back to the ground with pain. She didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to. She was stronger than that, she thought. She could lift herself up, she knew it. She could. But just trying to push on her hands to do so was the most painful thing she’d ever felt.

She’d promised herself not to cry but she couldn’t help herself. She didn’t know if the battle was still going on, and if it was she couldn’t hear anything but the moaning of the injured soldiers, those who were just like her. It was her fault, she thought. She’d been leading them to this day and now all was gone. Her precious army, those soldiers she was so proud to call friends, they were all dead, all dead because of her. Tears were running on her cheeks, cleaning up the dust and blood covering them. When they dropped on the flour, they weren’t as perfect as when they were born in her eyes. They were dirty, an awful mix between dark red and dust grey.

“Don’t cry. Please, please don’t cry…”

The voice was soft, trying to reassure her. She blinked but couldn’t see anything but someone’s shape. The person was pale, very pale, more than she’d ever seen anyone be. There was fire around their head, moving with the wind but never dying. An eternal flame that moved softly. The soldier was fascinated, never had she seen such bright and soft fire. She felt like she wanted to put her hand in it, as if it couldn’t hurt her. But that was stupid. It was fire. Wasn’t it ?

“Are you Death?” The soldiers asked, still crying like never before. Words didn’t come easily, blocked by the dust cluttering her throat.
“You’re not dead, fair one. I’m here to help you.”

Help, something they hadn’t even been hoping for. They had asked help to the king but all he had been able to say was that he didn’t believe in their fight. In his eyes, they were nothing but a bunch of lunatics who believed in fiddle-faddle. At the beginning of the fight, she’d hoped they’d get some help at some point, she really had. The king couldn’t be so blind once he’d known there’d been a fight he could only send his army and understand they’d been right all along. But no one came and they were all alone.

Could that fire person really help them? Could they really win with her help? One person would never be enough to defeat she who they were fighting against. She was so powerful, and her army so strong. So many of them died that day. So many of them were lost to the enchanted blades of their enemies. She’d seen friends die, people she considered her family. She always thought of them as her family and she was the head of it. Her and Phil. She turned her head to the direction in which she’d last seen him. If she was to die, he’d take the leadership all by himself. Assuming he wasn’t dead. Assuming there was still something to lead.

When she looked back at the person with their head on fire, they weren’t there anymore. They’d left her alone in this battlefield like she’d been for hours. She wondered how much time it’d take her to die. She wondered if she would die. Maybe she’d better die. She couldn’t live with the thought that she killed the Shield. She couldn’t and she knew it. It would destroy her more than death would. So it was probably better to end things here.

Someone grabbed her from behind, their fingers taking her hair firmly to have her straighten up, on her knees. The hand that took the broken spear in her right side belonged to a man, she was almost sure of that. It was full of scars and wounds, with blood all over it. She tried to stop crying, she knew she was about to get killed and she didn’t want to go like that, crying like the little girl she used to be.

“Not at your best right now, hey, Maria?” The words she hears make her heart as cold as the snow in the north. She stops crying for a minute, too dazed to do or say anything. “Don’t worry. You’re just as perfectly pathetic as I pictured you would be.”

The voice is not unknown to her, she knows it perfectly. The words it says aren’t even mean, they’re just the bearer of joyful exuberance, that of one who knows they’ve won. How many times had he been under their enemy’s influence? What had he told her about their conversations, the little confidence she’d had with him. She feels blood pouring fast from her wound, right where the spear once was. Yet it could never be as fast as was the feelings pouring from her heart, letting her empty once and for all.

“Jasper… You’re with her. How…” She can’t talk well, she feels so empty. She just wants to end all this. She just wants to end it now. She just wants all this to be over. Will the gods keep playing with her? Will they keep her alive as long as they can and watch hr suffer? “How long have… be… been und… er her sp… spells ?”
“I’m not, Maria… I’ve never been.” Jasper put a hand on her face to pull her against his chest.

She couldn’t see him, he was still on her back, but she knew what he was going to do. Stab in the throat, aim to the chinstrap. She wouldn’t die immediately. The blood would fill up her lungs and she’d drown in it. It wouldn’t take hours, but it would take a few minutes. At least she’d be sure not to live after that. She closed her eyes. She’d always thought she’d die valiantly, her eyes open to see death itself taking her. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t brave. She wanted to die but still she was afraid.

Maria never heard the sound of metal tearing into living flesh. When you were in the middle of the battle, you didn’t pay attention to that. You were focused, trying to survive and trying to end your opponent. She’d never paid attention to a sound she’d heard so many times before, but this time was different. There was nothing else but the beating of her own heart. She didn’t know when the spear would strike her. She could only wait for it. That’s when she heard the blade going through one’s flesh, right next to her left ear. She didn’t feel anything, she wasn’t drowning in her own blood. So she opened her eyes to see another spear, not the broken one from her right side, a new one. She felt Jasper getting heavier and heavier on her back and with all the strength she had left in her, she pushed him. His already lifeless body fell to the ground, his open eyes watching nothing but the vague emptiness of the thick and dark smoke hiding the sky.

Maria was about to fall herself but someone grabbed her by the uninjured arm and supported her. She couldn’t help but laugh, she was alive. She didn’t want to be but she was. There was always something to extend her agony. She recognized the guy helping her and she smiled even more. There was some real joy in this smile. That was Phil. He was alive and not in a bad shape it seemed. Maria put her head on his shoulder as he tried to have her standing.

“She’s winning, Phil…” She wasn’t able to produce more than whispers, but he was close enough to hear it. He used all the strength he could to lift her with her armor.

“She’s not. She’s going to lose and you know it. It’s in her nature.” He barely finished his sentence. The second after, his back was suddenly arched by the red sword of energy that stabbed him. He couldn’t lift Maria anymore, he couldn’t even lift himself, and both them fell to the ground.

Maria landed on Phil’s chest, something she was sure he did on purpose to protect her. She didn’t know who had attacked them but she noticed a dagger on her right and she stretched her arm in hope to grab it. Before she could, a shoe stepped on her hand and squeezed it. Maria moaned in pain and gave Phil a worried look. He didn’t look back to her, he had trouble breathing. His chest was bleeding and they were already surrounded by a pool of his blood.

“Your army has been massacred. Your fortress has been burned to the ground. I’m not going to win. I have.” The voice had some weird accent she couldn’t recognize, something that reminded her of the latverian one, yet a little more melodious.

Near her ear, Maria could hear Phil stop breathing. She balled her fist with rage and pulled her hand from the feet of her enemy. She turned to have her back against the dirt of the ground, facing her opponent, the one they’d been after all this time.

Their enemy had light brown eyes, like the color of some trees Maria had seen back home in the north. She had long and brown hair that floated within the air without any logic, not following the direction of the wind. Her big brown eyes seemed sweet and for a moment Maria couldn’t believe she was facing the evil one they’d chased for so many years. She emitted an aura of sadness and warmth, like Maria could sometimes feel looking at the rain through the window, sitting near the hearth of the foyer of the fortress. The woman had red beams of magic floating around her hands. She looked at Maria like she was sorry.

That’s the last thing Maria saw before falling into the darkness. The sad look and red hands of the Scarlet Witch.

Chapter Text

“I told you you need to stop fighting like that, Maria.”

Maria didn’t reply and let her take care of her eye. She had been to the well because Laura needed some more water to cook their meal. Of course there had been people there ; it was right in the town’s main square, where the villagers met to talk and gossip, spend some time together. She didn’t like going to the main square. Those people were always looking at her like she was a strange creature. They didn’t even look at her in the eyes, all they could see was what wasn’t there anymore. All eyes were always on her missing arm.

She always tried not to pay attention to them. They didn’t know what she’d been through. They didn’t know all the pain she’d felt, how she’d have her arm broken so much she almost died from it. She wished she had died but she hadn’t. So she needed to stay strong. That’s why the things those men said were causing so much pain. They told her she wasn’t really a soldier, that her war had only been fictional. After all, maybe she even cut her arm herself to make people think she was such a brave little soldier. Some days, Maria didn’t pay attention to them, she didn’t say anything and looked at them with disdain. Still, she heard them and it pained her, but she stayed strong and fierce. Some other days, like it had been that day, she couldn’t ignore them. So she tried to fight them because she needed them to shut up and that was the only way to make them. She won some fights, lost some others, in both cases they ended up calling her crazy.

She moaned as Laura pressed on her black eye to apply some ointment. Maria felt bad to prey on her like that. She was nice enough to have her stay at their home for so many years, but Maria was so often injured after a fight she needed to take care of her more often than she did of her kids. She should be the nice aunt who helps taking care of them - and she often was - but there was always those moments when she was the one who needed to be taken care of. Fighting constantly to be recognized for what she was  was really exhausting.

“Auntie Maria, why do you have your eye all purple?” Little Lila had come into the room to pick up her only puppet. This was her bedroom as much as Maria’s. Only Cooper had a bedroom of his own, though he’d soon share it with Nathaniel. So far the little boy had been sleeping with his parents, but as soon as he could sleep in a bed of his own, he’d go with his brother.

“That’s nothing, sweety. Your aunt just met some mean guy and she taught him not to be mean.” Laura’s voice was calm and soft, trying to reassure Lila who didn’t know what a black eye was. She came onto the bed and hugged Maria who was sitting there. Maria left a kiss on her forehead and Lila gave her a fair and wide smile.

“When I’m older, I want to teach mean people not to be mean anymore. Just like Auntie Maria!” Laura laughed and Maria felt embarrassed, she didn’t want Lila to get into troubles because of her. But Laura seemed to take it as a joke, so Maria didn’t say anything.

“You have all the time you want to decide what you want to do, Lila.” Laura closed the box she kept the ointment in and put it on one of the few furnitures the room had. “We’ll have to wait to see that, so in the meantime, what about you two help me cook the diner?”

“Yeah! I want to help Mommy!’

Laura took her daughter’s hand and went to the kitchen with her, followed by Maria. Clint was already there, butchering what he had hunt that day. He didn’t really have the right to hunt around town, no one could but those the king had authorized. The king’s men did sell it to others, but most of the people wasn’t able to afford buying it. So Clint took his bow and his arrows and hunted for his family and for some others around town, to a more affordable price.

“Maria, you fought again?” He asked with a grin.

“What can I say? I can’t seem to stop.”

“ Yeah, that wouldn’t really be you if you weren’t always fighting.”

Maria wanted to reply but Clint wasn’t looking at her anymore so she didn’t. She knew it would be like talking to no one. Clint and Maria had known each other for years, back before the fall of the Shield. He’d helped her find her place in the order, he’d always been more family than the others. He’d stop fighting after a dark wizard had played with his mind and made him as deaf as could be. After that, he had decided to make a priority of his family life. That’s what had saved him. He hadn’t been there when they’d battled the Witch. He had come, too late. He’d been the one who found Maria’s near-dead body. She owed him and Laura so much.

The diner was as nice as usual. She didn’t talk much, she barely ever did. It wasn’t her anymore, talking much. She didn’t have the desire to socialize. She was better off, contemplating the Bartons having a nice family life. She knew she belonged there, Laura and Clint had told her so often. Yet every time she saw them all together, talking and laughing, loving each other, she couldn’t help but feel like she was the third wheel.

When night came that day, she couldn’t manage to get asleep. That happened often, so she went by the window and looked at the moon. She could barely see it, as the new moon was almost upon them. Its light didn’t shine much and most of the house’s vicinity was lost in the shadow.. She could barely see the barn where the Barton’s two cows and only horse were. It didn’t really calm her down, it just helped her have her mind as blank as nights with no stars.

Lila started to moan in her sleep, clearly having some bad dreams. Maria didn’t try to wake her up. Let the kids have their nightmares, she thought. That way, they wouldn’t be that lost growing up and discovering the real world was the worst nightmare of all. That prepared their mind at least. But Lila’s dream seemed pretty awful, as Lila soon made more noises of fear and started to move within her sleep. After a few minutes, she woke up with a little scream and started to cry.

Maria came by her bed and sat on it, getting Lila against her chest to hug her. She cuddled against her aunt, trying to calm down but still crying. Maria fondled her hair and patted her back, not saying a word. She didn’t want to force her to talk, Lila would do so herself if she wanted to. And she did, after a few minutes, the time she needed to fully realize that it was over, that she was back in the real world.

“Auntie Maria, do witches really exist?” She asked with concern. Maria’s muscles stressed up within her whole body, and she didn’t answer immediately. It had been years since she last heard of any witch. She knew they were still out there and there wasn’t anyone to stop them anymore. They could do all their things as much as they wanted, without it causing a huge scandal. Maria had met one a few years back, a young lady who’d just discovered her powers. She’d angered like never before and hadn’t left the girl any chance to live.

“Why are you asking me that, dear?” Did Lila dream of witches? Was she starting to understand the great mysteries of life? Was she under some witches’ influence? Maria’d never let anyone hurt the little girl. She’d never wanted a family of her own, that had never been like her. But Lila was still like a daughter to her, just like Cooper and Nathaniel were like her sons. She’d protect them no matter the cost.

“My dream, it… I was flying just like a bird. I could feel so light, as if I was flying for real.”

“Well, you weren’t. I can tell, I would have seen you.”

Lila smiled a little bit. If she had been in her bed all along, maybe none of this was real. That was all a bad dream, right? Nothing happening in dreams ever happened in the real life. “There was a very beautiful woman. She was flying with me and she laughed with me. She asked if I was feeling free, and I was. So she told me she felt the same the first time she flew.” Lila lowers her head, she hasn’t yet told Maria about the nightmare part, but one could guess by her face that the dream was about to change.

“Then we landed in a village, a place I had never seen. All the people there seemed happy until they saw us. And then… Then they chased us, they wanted to hurt us. They called us bad names, and words I don’t even know. Then I… I think I killed them. There was a blue light coming out of my chest and it hit them and… They were dead. The pretty woman smiled at me and she said I was a good girl. And I would probably make a good witch. And then hands came out of the ground and grabbed be. There was an evil laugh and I… I woke up and you were here. I’m glad you’re here, Auntie Maria…” Lila was back at crying and Maria cradled her, humming a little tune she’d heard Laura sing to her kids. Lila eventually stopped crying to start falling back into sleep.

“Don’t worry, little one. This was all just a bad dream. There is nothing true in bad dreams.”

Maria knew better than that. There was truth in dreams, they were often messengers of your own consciousness, sometimes even of the gods. But she couldn’t say that to a scared little girl, that was too harsh for her. So instead she lied, told her there was nothing to worry about. Maybe it was nothing, just the representation of a little girl’s fears. Maybe she heard some story earlier that day, when she’d gone to the market with her mother and it scared her enough to have bad dreams. That was nothing worth telling Clint and Laura, for sure. There was nothing to worry about. There had to be nothing.

“So you’re telling us… that some witch might be manipulating our daughter.” Laura repeated, not sure she’d heard well.

She hadn’t told Laura and Clint before days, but she’d eventually had to. She’d thought Lila had just had the occasional bad dream some kids have, but since that day there hadn’t been a single night without Maria comforting the crying 6-year-old. The night before, she’d had to take Lila with her in her bed. Lila had fallen asleep with Maria’s arm around her, humming some songs. Maria didn’t know how Lila could fall asleep hearing those, she was terrible at singing and even at humming. But it helped her so she kept doing it.

In the morning, Lila often told her parents she’d had a bad dream, but since she already told her aunt, she’d never felt the urge to tell them what they were about. It was better that way, Maria had thought. They’d worry for nothing. They were good parents, they’d always worry for nothing. At least she suspected all good parents to be that way, but the only model she’d ever had was the Bartons. Thing was, with Lila’s dreams coming back every night, it was best for them to be aware of it. Maria had thought it best to talk to them. She had to make sure neither Lila nor Cooper was there, she didn’t want to scare them. She made some tea, something she never ever did if it wasn’t to talk about something serious. That’s exactly what Clint understood when he saw her filling the cups.

“Please tell me you’ve met someone and you’re going to go live with them.” He joked, perfectly knowing it wouldn’t be of Maria’s style.

“Sorry Clinton. You’re not going to get rid of me anytime soon, I’m afraid.” Maria knew he didn’t mean it. Clint was happier knowing she was with them trying to live a happy life, than if she was out there doing who knows what and blaming herself for every wrong thing in the world. “I’m waiting for Laura, I want to talk to the both of you.”

Laura had come with Nathaniel, too young to understand what they were saying anyway. Maria had told her about the first dream, then about all the others there had been. They weren’t all the same, but always there was the beautiful lady and always Lila had used magic at some point, usually to hurt people. Lila understood those were just dreams, still she always felt guilty for the bad things she was doing within the sleep realm. Laura and Clint had no difficulty to understand what Maria was implying.

“I don’t know if she’s being manipulated”, Maria shrugged her shoulders. She really didn’t. There was no proof of any manipulation after all, just dreams. “But someone is most definitely playing with her mind and I don’t like that. I thought it was just dreams but…”

“But she keeps having them and that’s weird.” Laura completed, thoughtful.

“Recurring dreams happen. It might just be that.”

Maria wasn’t so sure, but after all why not. Though, none of them was truly convinced. Recurring dreams could happen of course, but all of them had been confronted to witches and they didn’t believe in coincidences. Things were often what they were for a reason, especially when magic was involved.

“Well, we don’t really have a way to make sure it’s not natural. So we’re just gonna have to wait.” Laura didn’t like that. Her little girl might be in danger, the toy of some bad-intended witch. She couldn’t bear the thought of her little girl being in danger. When she’d married Clint, so many years ago, she’d decided to leave Shield. Not for her kids, they didn’t have any at the time, but because she couldn’t keep fighting and seeing so many people die. She’d still fought with them, once or twice when needed, but she never took the mantle of soldier back. She had the bravery but not the strong stomach.

“Maybe we can ask someone.” Clint proposed. “I heard about a man who claims to have a huge knowledge of witches, while I went to hunt today. He used to be the Princess’ official doctor but he had an accident five years ago. Since then it is said that he studies witches for who knows what reason. He’s living in the village of Greenwich.” Clint didn’t like the idea of his dear daughter being in danger more than his wife. Greenwich wasn’t close from their hometown, it was far in the South-East, almost in the Desert. It would take them two long weeks, maybe three, to get there. But if the guy could reassure him about his daughter, he’d do it without the slightest hesitation. He’d never really given up on witch hunting anyway. Most of the time, he was hunting people more than animals. He felt like he owed it the every Knight of the Shield who died in the last battle. He still hadn’t forgiven himself for not being alongside his brothers and sisters that day.

“So you want to go? Take Lila to that man and hope he can help us?” Maria would do it. She would no matter what. She felt useless now that she’d lost one of her arm, but she still would fight if needed. And Lila might be needing it. So she’d try with all her heart. Because she loved Lila that much. And also, if she was to be honest, because she’d wanted to fight a real witch for years. “What if he can’t, then ?”

“Then we’ll find something else.” The Bartons said it together, like they sometimes did. They looked at each other and Laura took her husband’s hand. Clint kissed her and smiled. At least they were not alone. They were together in that fight.

From Cooper’s room echoed a scream. It was sudden, unexpected. The three of them clearly recognized Cooper himself, crying with pain. Laura had Nathaniel in her arms so she let Maria and Clint rush into the room, following them. They found Cooper near his bed, almost knocked out by the gods knew who. Lila was also there, rolled into a ball in the room’s corner, crying with apparent fear. Clint urged to Cooper’s side to see if he was okay, while Maria tried to grab Lila The latter screamed with a fear Maria had never seen in a young child.

“Don’t come near me! Don’t touch me! I’m dangerous!” She shook her head and put her hands on the back of her head, that she kept low, staring at the ground. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to! We were just playing, I didn’t mean to make any light, I…”

“Slow down, dear.” Maria got closer but didn’t touch Lila. She didn’t want to be touched, so Maria would try to reassure her until she agreed to be.

Laura put Nathaniel on the floor and came as close as Maria. She didn’t touch Lila either, though she needed to hug her. She couldn’t bear the sight of her baby being too afraid and sad. “What didn’t you mean to do, Lila, sweety ?”

Lila sobbed and sniffed. She wanted to talk but every time she opened her mouth, she could only make strange and incomprehensible sounds. Eventually, when Clint had told everyone Cooper was alright, Lila rose her head. He cheeks were all wet from her tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt him. I.. I… I didn’t mean to be a witch, Mommy.”

Lila was against her father’s torso, before him on the horse they were riding. They were still in front their farm, getting ready to go. Maria was already on her horse too but Laura was giving her last recommendations to the woman who was going to keep an eye on Cooper and Nathaniel. At first, Clint and Laura had argued to decide which one of them was going to stay with the boys. Both of them wanted to go with Lila. So they’d settled on the fact they’d both go with her and had started to look for someone to take care of their kids. They’d eventually asked Miss Page for her help.

Karen Page was the most normal woman you could ever meet, yet unlike most of those who had never actually witnessed magic, she believed in it. She used to work at the castle, as messenger of the king to the little towns around the capital, but she’d grown tired of that job. So she’d come to their little town and had started to help everyone as much as she could, and in any way she could. That was what she wanted to do, helping people. She’d once told Clint, back when she was working for the royal family. Most of the messages she’d been delivering were pretty bad news. She’d started to feel guilty for all those people, and so she’d randomly chosen a place to go, a place where her presence and actions wouldn’t bring bad news but good feelings. She’d kept other kids around town and they all loved her, so the Bartons had chosen her to watch over theirs. Though it was really hard for both of them to leave Cooper and Nathaniel for such a long time. But at the moment, Lila needed them more.

“And if they have a nightmare, sing or hum them something to calm them down.” Laura recommended to Miss Page. She’d never really left them, especially not Nathaniel who was still so young. She kissed each of her boys’ forehead before going onto her horse’s back. The family only had one, the one Clint and Lila were riding. Maria and Laura had had to rent two others from someone in town. It had costed some money. Fortunately they had saved some from Clint’s hunt. They’d hoped to use it to buy some toys or pastries for the kids but this was more important.

Cooper waved to them as they drew away from the farm.They waved back at him, especially Lila who’d been really quiet all this time. She hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in days and seemed really tired. She didn’t even look like she wanted to sleep, too afraid of the dreams she might have. It had been hard to convince her to ride with Clint, she was afraid she might hurt him like she hurt Cooper before. Clint could see how lost in her thoughts she was and he fondled her hair without disturbing her. She was about to discover some pretty bad things, at a very young age. Himself had been twelve when he’d started to understand how fucked up life could be. Lila was half that age. Yet she probably was about to see and live more things than any kid, and even than most adults.

“Are you going to fix me, daddy?” She asked suddenly, as if she was afraid his dad might let her be the monster she seemed about to become.

“There’s nothing to fix about you, sweetheart. You’re not broken. We’ll merely try to get the witch’s influence off of you, that’s all.”

Lila nodded, though she did feel like something was wrong with herself. It was so hard to understand that concept, that things would be caused by someone who wasn’t her. Did other people really have that much influence in one’s life? If a witch really was after her, why was that? Had she been a bad person, to draw her attention like that? And if she was bad, who was to say she wouldn’t hurt anyone?

She hoped the doctor could help her. She didn’t want to be a monster. She’d heard too much bad stories about witches to wish to be one. But what if she had to? What if she didn’t have a choice ? What if it was that fate her mom sometimes talked about? Maybe she was fated to become evil. She must have been, otherwise why would she develop power? She didn’t realize how adult her thoughts were at that moment. She didn’t realize the witch in her was growing stronger as she was thinking.