Archive of Our Own

Mike kept on fidgeting with a phone cord for almost ten minutes. He knew that international calls required a lot of money. But he couldn't stay in one place. So after tapping his foot for the hundredth time in a minute, he breathed in and out several times, gathered courage and dialed a number had memorized like something precious for a year already.

The phone kept on ringing but no one was answering. Mike got anxious. It was already evening in Iceland which meant that it would be midday in Hawkins. Of course Will wouldn't be home on a Summer afternoon.

Mike felt like he missed a chance.

“Stupid!” He mumbled and decided to hang up. But his hand froze mid-air because there was a shift from the other side.

“Hello?”

Mike could swear that in that moment he heard the voice of an angel. Because all of his doubt and anxiety disappeared with just hearing that one word. He felt his eyes watering.

“Sorry, I can't hear you.” Will said with concern in his voice.

Mike gulped and finally spoke. “Hi.” It came out raspy.

“Mike?” Will's voice changed instantly into excitement.

“Yes, hi.” The corners of his lips curled up subconsciously. In no time he was grinning. “God, I missed hearing your voice so much.” He whispered.

“Did you say something? I can't hear you well.”

“Nothing. I'm just happy you answered.” Mike could only tell half of the truth but he already felt relieved.

“Well, I'm happy you called.” Will breathed in the phone that meant he laughed. Mike knew that sound well. “How's it going? Did you find who you were looking for?”

Of course Will wanted to know everything. Mike wasn't surprised. If he were there, he would ask to pinpoint every place Mike had visited.

“Well, even if I did, I can't tell you on the phone.”

“I guess you're right.”

Mike could feel that Will was smiling. He imagined Will standing next to a phone, looking at the roof, slightly leaning against the wall.

“To answer your question, no, I haven't found her. And sometimes… it gets hard.” It was hard for Mike to say it out loud.

“You're putting too much pressure on yourself. Please don't do that. What Jane did isn't on you. It was her choice. Maybe forced, but she still did it. So please, be kind to yourself.”

“Thanks.” Mike whispered.

They got quiet for a while and just listened to each other's breathing. Even that small detail calmed Mike.

“Even if you don't find her, you're still the same kind person. You know that, right? You didn't let her down. Even after a year and a half you fight for her.”

“Do I?” Mike asked almost sarcastically.

“Mike, are you okay?” Mike could hear concern in Will's words.

“I don't know.” He sighed. “My mind doesn't let me rest.”

“Oh, Mike.” Will's tone changed to a caring one. “I'm glad you called.”

“Yeah?” Mike suddenly opened his eyes.

“Yeah. Even though it's been only a couple of days, there's something missing here. Or someone.”

“Do you miss me, Will?” Mike had the biggest grin asking that question.

“Of course I do.” Will was smiling too.

“And I miss you.” There, Mike finally said it loud enough for someone to hear.

“Please don't give up hope. You are the bravest person among us. I hope this journey helps you.”

“Hope so.” Mike cleared his throat. “Anyway. How have you been?”

“Well…” Will began and Mike could picture Will twisting phone cord on his index finger. “Mom and Hop are already talking about moving out. And it kinda feels unreal. Hawkins has been cruel to me but it was still my home for 18 years.”

“We can always visit it together. You know you can stay in our house, right? We can go on a Christmas vacation together. I'm sure mom has already invited you.” Mike also began playing with a phone cord.

“I think I've been your family's burden for too long.” Will said without resentment.

“That's just not true. And if you don't come with me, we'll stay in our dorm room and don't leave until the semester begins again.”

Mike was speaking quickly and eagerly. He needed to make sure Will understood he wasn't joking.

“That is considered blackmailing, you know that, right?” Will laughed lightheartedly and Mike forgot how to breathe.

He didn't know why he was feeling this strange when Will did even the simplest thing. And he was too afraid to think about it. Because if he gave enough thought to it, he would come to a conclusion. And he was too scared of what the conclusion would be.

“Well, you've been okay with this side of me for almost 14 years already. And you've never complained.”

Mike's remark was met with yet again laughter. Mike's heart began beating faster. He felt hot all of a sudden.

“Mike?” Will asked suddenly and Mike's trail of thoughts disappeared.

“Yeah?” He didn't realize that he was shaking.

“This call must cost a fortune. Are you sure you want to spend so much money?” Will was careful with the words he was saying.

“Are you bored of me already, Will?” Mike smiled but his nervousness was apparent.

“That's not…” Will's voice suddenly disappeared. “I'm happy you called. What did your parents say?”

“I haven't…” Mike gulped. “I just called you.”

“Oh.” There were layers in that one word from Will's side. Something like recognition.

“Yeah…” Mike's throat suddenly felt super dry. So he coughed to clear his throat. “I needed to speak with you.” He whispered hoping that Will couldn't distinguish words. “It feels the same all over again.”

“Same how?” Will got curious. He was talking with a low voice similar to Mike.

“Like I'm going crazy.” Mike accompanied it with a dry laugh.

“Well, I think I recall promising each other something about going crazy.” Will said it without any hesitation.

“I guess I drew a blank. What was that about?” Mike was smiling again and it felt surreal. How was Will able to improve his mood without even being there?

“That we'll go crazy together.”

“Yeah, crazy together.” Mike agreed.

They spoke for a while until Will heard Mike yawning. He insisted on hanging up. They said their goodbyes at least five times before actually hanging up.

Mike still ended up thinking about what he wrote in his journal. He couldn't sleep at all.

He left his bed very early and went to the same place – Fardagafoss waterfall. He had been going there for several days but he couldn't explain why.

Walking so much for a week made him stronger and weaker at the same time. His muscles were still sore. So he sat down on the edge of the rock, balancing on his hands and knees hanging in the air. His scraped hands were almost healed but it still stung, especially on the bumpy rocks.

Mike felt his depression creep in on him. For the hundredth time in this journey he felt like trash. He hated how fragile his self-esteem was. Was it all a mistake? Maybe he shouldn't have come here. El would be better off without him. Maybe everyone would.

The waterfall wasn't very high but it still felt similar to the quarry. At least for Mike. He could picture being in Hawkins with other people, walking near the edge of the quarry. No, not other people, with one specific person.

There, he was thinking about Will again. That was becoming unhealthy. He needed to do something about this situation but he was so far away from everyone else.

What would happen if El went into his mind and saw everything? Would she be disgusted by him? Would she hate him? Mike should've been thinking about her at least for these two weeks. He could have all the other time for Will.

He was still carrying the same crashed can he found miles away. That's what he was playing with recently. If only that could keep his mind from going to Will again.

"Fuck."

He groaned and threw the can far away. It very strangely landed very close to him. That made him nervous. His attention was now fully on the can.

He stood up very fast and it turned out to be a mistake. His left leg was asleep. When he tried to step on a rock, he slipped. He was unable to balance himself so he fell from the edge of the rock.

He was still in the air strangely calm when one thought came to his head.

Will won't know what happened. He'll think I killed myself. He will be devastated. I can't do this to Will.

He tried to grab something even though there were only rocks. He opened his eyes and realized that the air wasn't hitting him anymore. The fall shouldn't have needed so long. He was stuck.

A familiar warm feeling seeped into his body. And he began ascending in no time. He tried to stay calm but there was only one possibility of how it happened and he couldn't make up his mind how to cope with this news.

When he landed on the ground, he began looking at every part of the field. And that's when he saw her. El was running toward him. Her face showed worry, surprise, happiness and confusion simultaneously. She didn't let Mike form even a single word. She hugged him so tightly Mike could hear his ribs contracting.

Everything felt unreal to Mike. Maybe he died and it was just part of his fantasy.

"Is it really you?" Mike sobbed. He didn't know when he started crying.

"I could ask you the same thing." El answered while still hugging him.

It felt like both of them needed physical proof that the other person was actually there. They seemed unable to split.

They stood there and sniffed quietly for a while. None of them were able to speak for some time, both still being in shock.

When they finally split, Mike was able to look at her and assess the changes he'd missed.

El's face was still the same as he remembered. Her hair was almost as long as back in Lenora. But she didn't have bangs. Her hair was lighter maybe because of the sun. She was wearing hiking shoes, jean shorts and a pink t-shirt. She looked the same but something in her was different.

"How, what just happened? I have so many questions." Mike was very confused which answer he needed first.

"You aren't the only one. How and why are you here?" El was still trying to come out from the shock. "Are you alone?"

They sat on the rocks but not close to an edge. Mike told El about his theory, how he couldn't stop thinking about it the more time went. He mentioned several things about his journey. El was listening to him patiently. But then came the time that her answers were needed as well.

"Your theory is basically true. That's why I asked Kali to help me. It was hard at first. I tried to reach all of your minds to be sure you were all okay. But at some point I stopped. Because if I didn't I would always be stuck. And I needed to move on."

"No you didn't." Mike interrupted her. "You didn't need to sacrifice your whole life. You can still come back and live with us."

El smiled at him and put her hand on Mike's shoulder. She looked so calm, Mike wanted to ask how she was coping with it.

"Mike, I love all of you so much but please don't ask me to come back. I really want that." She suddenly became very sad. "But it's too dangerous."

"You can't just say that. You are sacrificing yourself and I hate that." Mike covered his face with hands. He felt frustrated.

"Please don't try to persuade me." El looked at him with pleading eyes. "I am happy here."

"Without… us?" Mike's voice broke on that last word.

"I miss you guys so much but it's best for everyone. And one day you'll realize that as well."

"I won't." Mike sniffled. "I will never get it."

"Mike, I need freedom. I've been papa's pawn for all my life." El sighed in defeat.

"Have you felt like a pawn with us as well?" Mike looked at her with his puppy eyes.

El couldn't just look him in the eyes. So she put her head on Mike's shoulder and wrapped her arms around his back. Mike kissed her on her head. El wiped her tears on Mike's shirt.

"I felt loved." She finally spoke. Then she breathed several times and kept on going without changing her position. "But I need to make my own decisions, be on my own for some time. One day I might decide to come back. But not yet. So please don't tell anyone that you found me."

El finally raised her head and looked Mike in the eye. Her face was red from crying, her eyes puffy. But she didn't look sad. She seemed content.

"How can I not tell them? They'll ask so many questions." Mike tried to protest.

"Hop will be very consistent. He will ask so many questions but you shouldn't fold easily." El began giving him tips on how to get away from his questions.

"You do remember that he's a cop, right? He'll catch me in no time." Mike waved his hands in the air. "But I'll try my best. And I'll break our number one rule that friends don't lie." He sighed. "I'll lie to Max, Lucas, Dustin…"

"What about Will?" El suggested the most important person.

"God damn it, I don't know if I'll be able to lie to him." Mike covered his face again and groaned. "He will be even more suspicious than Hopper."

"Come on, it's Will. He'll be just happy that you're alive."

El tried to cheer him up. But it unfortunately had the exact opposite effect on Mike. Of course Will would be happy Mike was alive. Why wouldn't he? He cared for his best friend. No other thought would run in his mind. Because he was a good friend. And as it turned out, Mike was not.

"Hey, what's wrong?" El got confused. "Is everything alright with you and Will?"

Mike opened his mouth to tell her a pretty little lie. But his mental health finally gave up on him. He began crying out of nowhere. El scooted closer to him and hugged him until he calmed a bit down.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what is wrong with me." Mike whispered between tears. His throat hurt.

"It's okay. You can have emotions and it isn't embarrassing."

"Can we talk about something else? Tell me how you found me." Mike tried to change the subject of their conversation.

"Well…" El looked at him and Mike knew that she was definitely returning to this conversation some time. "My friends told me that an English-speaking boy was looking for me. They described you and I couldn't believe them. So I had to see you."

"I knew they were suspicious." Mike laughed even through the tears. "I had a gut feeling about them."

"They tried to protect me. You could've been one of the bad guys." El smiled at Mike.

"Yeah, I am going to take you back to the lab." Mike smiled as well. But then he got serious. "You can always contact Owens. He has helped you before. Please, please, please think about it."

"Alright, Mike." El grinned and stood up. "Now, tell me about the boys and Max. How have they been?"

…

For the second day of finally finding each other, Mike and El had a small breakfast together and then they visited several waterfalls where Mike had been looking for her.

They had a lot to catch up onto. So they exchanged their stories for the last couple months. El told him about being happy to have the opportunity to explore new things on her own. She promised Mike to introduce him to his friends.

At one point they even began to remember their old stories together. At that moment they looked like childhood friends bonded for life. El seemed very happy to be able to spend time with a person who made her childhood easier and more colorful.

"You have no idea how I've missed you." El told Mike with sparkles in her eyes.

"Neither… Neither do you." Mike stuttered a bit taken aback by El's sudden honesty.

"I've known you for a long time Mike." She began with a sweet voice and raked her hand in Mike's hair just to make it messy. Mike felt the urge to step far away from her and that made him hate himself. "And I know you're hiding something."

"No," Mike protested but he looked at El and realized that El wasn't a fool. "Yes. But I'm not sure how to say it. I haven't told anyone."

"Did you meet a girl? Do you have feelings for her? It's okay." She smiled genuinely. "You are allowed to be happy with someone else."

"El, I…" he gulped. "I love you."

"But not like before." Her face showed sadness. "Because when you actually loved me, you were unable to say it out loud."

"I matured." He tried to change El's mind.

"But this thing doesn't change. And it's fine. I'm fine with it. Is she pretty?" She said it without any hurt in her voice and Mike got distracted.

"Yeah…" he said without even thinking about it. "I mean, you aren't… totally right." Mike felt his throat get dry from nervousness. "But that person is great. But I'm not sure about my feelings yet." he shrugged.

"Because of me?" El got very insistent.

"Yes… no… I don't know. It's too complicated and I'm scared to think about it. Because if I think about it, there will be conclusions. And conclusions are terrifying. Because then it will be real."

"Oh, Mike."

El put her hand on Mike's cheek and gently slid her thumb on his cheekbone. This time Mike didn't run away from the touch. He closed his eyes and leaned into it.

"You've always been brave. Especially when we were little. I mean, you had the courage to kiss me when we had only met a week ago." They both laughed at that memory. "And I don't know what specific part is scary but I'm sure it's just in your head. You should just tell them. And if they won't share the feeling, you can move on."

"But it isn't that easy." Mike sighed. "There's a lot to lose."

"Because you know them well?" El got more interested.

"Yeah." Mike didn't feel like hiding it from her.

"Oh," El's face suddenly changed from realization. "Do you like Max?"

"What?" Mike jumped from surprise and disgust simultaneously. "Ew, no."

"Then who is it?" El got confused.

"I promise I'll tell you. But probably not today."

"Okay, take your time." El seemed to let go of the topic so Mike breathed with relief.

Mike and El were standing in front of an airport building. El was leaning against the car. Mike still hadn't told anything to El and the time was running out.

"I..."

"Mike..."

They began simultaneously and stopped as the other spoke.

"You go first." Mike offered her a shy smile.

"I feel like something is dragging you. And you're too afraid to share it. But please don't. It will turn into something terrible in your mind. And I have experienced how your mind works." El petted his shoulder.

"You have no idea how many times I've tried to be honest with you." Mike inhaled air and it felt like it hurt his whole body.

"Something has changed between you and Will. I can tell it." El tried to help him. "You've mentioned him the least. Are you guys not friends anymore?"

"Of course we are." Mike denied the allegations instantly. "There's just a lot going on."

"Do you guys like the same girl? Is that why?" El said a thing that made sense the most.

"What? No." Mike answered without a hesitation. He opened his mouth to say even a part of the truth but he couldn't. His mouth went dry. "Ughhh." He sighed. "Okay, I know how to tell you."

He opened the biggest compartment of his backpack and began searching until he found a piece of paper. He handed it to a confused El.

El unfolded the paper and tried to flatten it as best as she could. Then she began reading. Mike couldn't look at her so he closed his eyes.

More than a minute went without anyone talking. Mike opened his eyes carefully. He looked very scared of El's reaction. But El didn't seem mad. She looked somewhat happy that Mike had shared his secret to her.

"So you are Todd and Neil after all." She smiled.

Mike just froze. What could he have answered? He knew that El supported Will, everyone did back in the WSQK. It still didn't mean that El would be okay with Mike. They had been dating for years and suddenly Mike was admitting his feelings for his step-brother.

"You aren't angry?" Mike looked scared. His bottom lip quivered like he was ready to begin crying.

"Mike," El's voice was very sweet and it reminded Mike of the voice he used when he was talking to Will. "I didn't have a chance to find out what I really wanted until I became free. I guess you needed that too."

"But…" Mike seemed to not grasp the idea that El was okay with him. "It's Will. Your brother Will. And… and…" He began rambling.

"Mike, calm down." El waved a hand in front of his face because he began hyperventilating. "It's okay. I'm okay. And you are okay as well." She tried to hug him but Mike's hands didn't seem to obey him. He couldn't wrap his hands around her. "I know you feel like you've betrayed someone. And being in love with your best friend feels like the end of the world. Especially since you've known him for almost all your life."

El continued talking but Mike couldn't hear anything. One phrase kept spinning in his mind. "In love?" he barely made a sound and El became quiet instantly.

They were looking at each other for some time without anyone speaking. Then El smiled at him and tried to cheer him up. "It's okay Mike and for what it's worth, you should speak. You should tell him."

"But how? I was unable to even tell you."

"I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out by yourself. You always do."

They hugged once more and stayed like that for over a minute. Mike's nerves were buzzing but the situation felt somehow easier. He was still very terrified but not the same way he had been for the past week or so. And for now that seemed to be enough.

The rest of the day for Mike went horribly. He kept on tapping his foot until it got cramped. Then he began walking restlessly in his room. By the time the night came he felt like a madman. He was shivering and his teeth were chattering from the nerves.

Sleep didn't arrive to him soon. He kept rolling in his bed restlessly. At one point even Holly screamed at him from the other side that he needed to sleep, or at least let other people sleep in peace.

When the morning came and Mike woke up from his three-hours sleep, he felt dizzy. It could be because of the hot weather, or the lack of sleep, or not eating for almost a day. But deep down he knew the reason.

He went downstairs and entered the kitchen. No one was there because it was still early. The house was very quiet and it should've been comforting to him but it made him more mad. He felt insane. He needed help and the only person that could give it to him was drifting away from him.

He ate just because his body was aching. He tried his best not to throw everything up. He had never felt so terrible in his life. He stood up, found his backpack and walkie and went outside to his bike.

He didn't know where he was going until he saw a familiar building that had been their everyday life for almost a year and a half. The station was empty as expected. Robin was no longer doing everyday "Rocking Robin stuff". There was no need anymore.

He didn't enter the building though. He stayed outside and climbed on the roof remembering how he told El about his plan to go to some place with three waterfalls. Everything was different then. Everything was easier. Even with Vecna's problems, it was still manageable. But now everything seemed irrecoverable.

He began spiraling and almost had a panic attack again. So he took a walkie and pressed the button without thinking too much about it. If he did so, he would get scared.

He could sense the summer breeze that was colder than he remembered but his hands were shaking for entirely different reasons. He breathed in and out several times to calm his nerves and then finally spoke.

"Will…" his voice was broken so he tried again. "Can you come to the WSQK?" It felt like he was begging.

He didn't hear if Will answered him or not. Everything in him was buzzing. Was he having a stroke? Was he going to die there after El saved her again? He couldn't.

He climbed down and sat on the pebbled road, leaning against the wall. It was very uncomfortable but pain let him stay in reality. He glanced at how he looked in the window and almost jumped from the shock. He actually looked like a madman. Or at least a person who hadn't slept for over a week. His cheekbones were much more prominent than before the trip. His hair was a mess and he didn't have the energy to try and tame it. It was windy anyway.

He dropped his backpack next to him. He didn't even know why he grabbed it. But it felt like a muscle memory already. He had been very faithful to this backpack.

Mike was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice when a second bike was dropped next to his.

"Mike," Will's voice was filled with concern. "Are you okay?"

Will ran to him but stopped a bit further. His hands were twitching like he had the urge to hug Mike. He didn't look good either. His eyes were dark, hair messy and he still had a toothpaste on the corner of his lip. But his eyes were the only thing Mike could look at. They didn't carry the calmness that Mike loved. They showed worry.

"You didn't sound good." Will tried to talk again and that was the last straw for Mike. He crumpled.

The tears found their way without permission. Mike buried his face in his hands and tried to hide himself behind his knees. His sobs became audible. Will came all the way here but couldn't even touch him. He had done a horrible thing that he didn't even know. And he didn't know how to make everything better.

"I can't anymore." He sulked.

He didn't hear footsteps because of how loud he had been. So he froze when he felt a hand on his back. It was not moving or trying to pat him. It was simply there. And it was the best thing that had happened to Mike for the past couple days.

"Will," he finally raised his head and found Will crouched next to him. "Do you…" his voice was low and broken. "Do you hate me?"

Will was taken aback by that question. His hand dropped from Mike's back and Mike felt coldness seep in his whole body. He missed that contact.

"What?" Will finally asked after the initial wave of shock passed. "What do you mean?"

"You can barely look at me." Mike wiped his tears with the back of his hand and stood up. His legs were wobbly so he leaned against the wall. "And we haven't spent any time alone after my return here. I'm sure I've done something horrible but please, please give me a chance to make everything better."

Mike exhaled and inhaled several times to calm his nerves. He didn't want to cry anymore. He needed to be brave. He needed to say everything.

"Because you've been distant from the moment you've come back." Will looked hurt and Mike wanted to punch himself in the face. He was hurting Will and he didn't even know how.

"The truth is…" He began and gulped. "The journey has been very confusing. My emotions are all over the place. I have fucking panic attacks."

Will's jaw almost dropped from shock. Mike was always very audible, so he didn't seem like a person struggling with panic attacks.

"I didn't know." Will's voice was very low. "You know you can tell me what's in your mind. I can help with the problem that has been there and eat you alive." He tried to offer his help.

"No, Will," Mike tried to smile but it never reached his eyes. "You've always helped me. But not with this. I can't tell you. I want to but it's too hard. It's the only thing you'll be unable to help me with." He shook his head.

"Why?" Will suddenly stepped back. "Does it have something to do with intimacy with a girl? Did you meet a girl in Iceland?"

Mike had seen Will hurt not even ten minutes ago but now Will was biting his lip and didn't seem to be able to look him in the eye. He looked devastated.

"No, Will, there's no girl." He denied it instantly.

"Then what happened in Iceland? What changed between us?" He was already on the edge of crying. He shivered and wrapped his hands around himself.

"Are you cold?" Mike tried to reach him but Will flinched. Mike's heart broke. "I have a hoodie in my backpack."

Mike reached his backpack but before he could open the zipper, they heard beeping from the inside of the station. It had a terrible sound. Will covered his ears.

"I'll fix it." Mike began walking towards the entrance. "Please, take my hoodie."

He didn't look back. He couldn't.

Mike was a bit thankful for that sound that turned out to be some kind of alarm. His heart was still in pieces from Will's terrified face of Mike touching him. Why did he flinch? What the fuck did Mike do?

It took him almost five minutes to find the source of the sound, turn it off and go back out. He hesitated before stepping outside, too scared to face what was waiting for him outside.

"It was Robin's fucking…" he wanted to joke but he froze as soon as he saw Will.

Will was now in one of Mike's hoodies. But it wasn't the reason why Mike's voice got lost. No. Will's face was wet, his eyes red from crying. Mike didn't know the reason so he tried to look at his surroundings. His backpack was dropped near Will. Will was clutching a red packet - skittles that Mike hadn't taken out from his backpack after that incident. But Mike's horrified expression was caused by a much smaller thing. Will had something else in his other hand.

Mike wished that it was just a regular crumpled paper. But he knew his luck. And he remembered that paper vividly. It was his letter to Will. and from Will's expression, he had read it.

"Will, please, listen." Mike sounded desperate. "I tried to…" he tried to continue but his mouth couldn't form any more words. It felt the same as with El all over again.

"Please, tell me what it means." Will pleaded with the saddest voice Mike had ever heard coming from an actual person. He looked frightened.

"I… um…" Mike tried to find words but his mind went blank. "You're my best friend, Will." It was the only fucking sentence his mind happened to remember. Will's expression dropped as soon as he heard it.

"I'm fed up of hearing that fucking words." He got very angry suddenly. It was the first time Mike was hearing Will swear. "I swallowed it when you told it to me back in Lenora. I got used to it when you called it to me on that fucking tower." He pointed at the tower near them. His voice was getting increasingly higher with every word he spoke. "And I've made myself believe that there was no hope when I overheard how you told Nancy about us only ever being best friends just a week ago."

Will fisted his hands and the skittles package bursted. Mike flinched but Will didn't seem to notice it. His face was getting red from how angry he was. His eyes were no longer watery. The shade of green was changed to a cloudy grey.

"So for once please be honest with me." He added. "You brought my favourite snack and wrote me a letter back in Iceland? Why?"

"It wasn't…" Mike tried to find the right words to say. "I bought them when I came to your house." He argued and Will laughed. But it was not a pretty laugh. Not the one Mike loved. "And the letter…" He tried to continue but nothing seemed appropriate. He was lost.

He stood there like a child and couldn't say anything. Will got fed up and decided to walk away. And that's when the sirens turned on in Mike's mind. He covered the distance between them in just two steps, placed a hand on Will's forearm and kissed him.

It only lasted a second. Mike got scared from the lack of reaction and pulled back. It was then Will who made a move and connected their lips again. This time both participants were active. They kissed each other like it was the only thing that could keep them alive. Mike could taste the minty toothpaste Will had used to brush his teeth.

Will tasted very sweet and exactly like Mike imagined. He was perfect. And Mike could drown in his feelings. If he died right now, he would die happy, knowing how amazing Will tasted. He seemed unable to stop. He wrapped his hands around Will's waist and it was enough for Will to place his hands around Mike's neck. Mike tilted his head so that their lips could fit together better.

The kiss felt like the only right answer. Mike couldn't remember anything else other than Will. This sweet doe-eyed boy seemed to occupy his mind even when he was with him, when he was kissing him.

A moan escaped Will's mouth and he suddenly pulled away, embarrassed. His lips were swollen red and shiny with spit. His cheeks were flushed and Mike thought that Will had never looked more beautiful than this.

"Wow, you are beautiful." He couldn't stop his mouth from speaking. Will got even redder. He began playing with his bottom lip and Mike had to restrict himself from lifting Will up, lining him up against the wall and covering every part of his body in kisses.

"Will, please, say something." He said after relaxing a bit.

"I'm still processing what just happened." Will's voice was still low. But it no longer carried hurt or sadness. "You kissed me." He brought his index finger to his bottom lip and touched it just to make sure that everything that happened was real.

"I kissed you." Suddenly Mike's mouth became very dry.

"Why?" Will finally looked Mike in the eyes. His eyes were now green and a bit watery again.

"Because…" Mike got confused. "Isn't it obvious?" It was still hard for him to confess.

"Please, don't tell me that because we are best friends." Will gritted his teeth and Mike couldn't stop a laughter escaping him.

"No, Will." He shook his head. "Because I have feelings for you." There, he finally said it. "And this journey has been very helpful to let me realize it." Once the truth was out, he couldn't stop. "I haven't been able to think about anything or anyone else from the moment I departed. Hell, most of the journal is me writing about you and not my plan on how to find El."

Mike suddenly stopped talking. Because he got very close to telling the truth about El. but Will didn't seem to notice. He was too stunned by Mike's confession. He was still processing it.

"So, you like me?" Will finally spoke.

"More than like you." Mike smiled. "Do you… um… do you…" He suddenly became very shy.

"Do I like you?" Will almost laughed at Mike's obliviousness. "Yeah, you could say that."

"What does that mean?" Mike got very nervous.

"I've been thinking about kissing you for a very long time."

"Just kissing me?" Mike got sad all of a sudden.

"How do you manage to concentrate on the wrong thing?" Will laughed. He leaned in and pressed their lips together. "I like you, Mike." He kissed him again. "Really…" Another kiss. "Really…" Kiss. "Like you." Kiss.

"Yeah?" Mike closed his eyes and smiled. Their teeth clashed.

"Yeah." Will confirmed. And Mike almost felt his soul leaving his body.

It was what he was dreaming about for almost a month already. And maybe even longer but subconsciously. And for once everything seemed like it could go back to being normal again. If normal meant that Will was feeling the same way toward him.