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'Zayn! Are you even listening to me?!' Zayn Malik's best friend, Louis Tomlinson, questioned with a raised eyebrow as Zayn was getting his books from his locker.
'Yes I am.' Zayn defended himself and Louis raised his eyebrow even higher.
'Uh huh, sure.'
'I am, honestly!' Zayn tried convincing his friend but he was having none of it.
'Then what was I saying?' Louis pressed and Zayn felt his cheeks heat up, knowing he was caught red handed. 'Exactly.' Louis sighed as Zayn slammed his locker shut.
'I have double English next.' Zayn murmured mostly to himself but Louis, as always, heard it.
'I have double Drama then free.' He stated and Zayn nodded, indicating Louis that he heard him.
'I also have free after English. Wanna go somewhere?' Zayn questioned as he focused on the floor in front of him.
'Nah, I have an English paper to write. Nothing major but I was wondering if you could help me? Since you know.... you're an English major... and you're so amazing at English...' Louis praised Zayn and he rolled his eyes.
'How do you want me to help you?' He peeked down at his shorter friend and when he saw the look he was giving him, Zayn groaned. 'I am not writing it for you.'
'Please. C'mon, help a friend out.' Louis pouted and Zayn grinned as he shook his head.
'Nuh uh buddy, you're on your own.' Zayn said and then turned right, heading towards the English wing of the school.
'I thought you loved me, Malik!' He heard Louis call after him and he laughed, not turning around.
'Just you wait! I'll get you back for this!' Louis called even louder and half the people in the hall stared at him.
'What you looking at?! Never heard a short man shout?!' Louis yelled at them and they quickly looked away, going back to their conversations. Zayn shook his head at his friend's behaviour and took another turn right, walking into the empty classroom.
'Good morning Mr. Malik.' His teacher, Mr. Browning, said to him, not bothering to turn away from the board that he was writing the lessons title and notes on.
'Morning.' Zayn mumbled just loud enough for his teacher to hear and walked towards the back of the classroom. He dropped into the last seat on the far right corner which was beside the window. Sometimes, if he slid low enough in his seat the teacher would forget he's even there. He placed his sketch book on top of all his other books and without bothering to think of a subject, he let his hand do the thinking.
~~
Harry Styles parked his Range Rover in the school parking lot just a bit before lunch beak was over. He missed the first half of the school day because his mother had a severe panic attack that resulted her in passing out from a lack of oxygen in her brain. He'd taken her to the hospital and refused to leave until she could. They gave her oxygen and then released her. She was furious when she found out that her son had stayed and waited but in the end, she was beyond grateful. Whilst she was with the doctors Harry had been pulling his hair out, blowing things way out of proportion because they were taking way too long. He thought that maybe because she was taking so many pills for her depression and anxiety disorder that they found something wrong in her body. But the doctors said she was alright and told Harry what to do to prevent this from happening next time.
As he walked toward the school, he felt people's eyes on him. He wasn't surprised though, he was, after all, the most popular guy in school. He winked at a few girls just because he wanted to see them basically melting in front of him. He smirked as he walked in the hallway with his head held high.
'I thought you loved me, Malik!' A guy called out after his friend but Harry didn't turn to look who it was, he already knew by his voice. Louis Tomlinson, a.k.a the guy of Nick Grimshaw's dream. Nick is one of Harry's best friends and he has been crushing on the guy since freshman year.
'Just you wait! I'll get you back for this!' Louis called even louder and half the people in the hall stared at him.
'What you looking at?! Never heard a short man shout?!' Louis yelled at them then started walking away with his chin help up high, as if he wasn't fazed by the fact that everyone was staring at him.
'Hazza!' He heard an all too familiar voice call him and he turned to face Caroline Flack, his ex but best friend, standing there with her arm open dramatically. Harry winced at the nickname but jogged up to her and swooped her up in a bear hug.
'Cazza!' He cried and she laughed. Harry and Caroline used to date but once he realized that he was batting for the other team, she completely understood and they remained very close friends. Harry never completely came out at school so girls hit on him all the time and to keep up his reputation he took them home.
Unfortunately, no matter how good the girl was in bed, there were never any feelings for her in the morning. Harry knew he should feel bad that he uses them like that just for the sake of sleeping with someone but he does it because they want to, they're the ones who suggested it, and he did it to keep them happy.
'Where were you this morning? We missed you.' Cazza pouted and he grinned. His friends knew about his mother's situation but because he was at school he decided he'd tell them later.
'I, uh, took a girl home last night and she wanted to go for round two and three in the morning.'
'Ahh.' Nick nodded his head in understanding but kept his eyes on his phone. Harry grinned and took this as an opportunity to poke fun at Nick and his crush.
'Who ya texting Nickky?' Harry teased and his friends 'oooh'-ed and laughed when Nick blushed.
'N-no one.' Nick stuttered and Harry snatched the phone out of his hands.
'Hey, give that back!' Nick yelled but two of Harry's other friends, Niall and Liam, held him back. Nick really was texting no on but that wasn't a problem for Harry.
'Oooh. It's a message from Louis. 'Come over at 9.'' Harry pretended to be reading the text and Nick went redder than a tomato as thee others laughed. When Harry thought he embarrassed Nick enough, he gave him his phone back and declared he was going to class.
Because Harry had to stop at his locker to gather his books, he was ten minutes late to English class. When he opened the door everyone looked at him. Everyone except Zayn Malik.
'Ah, nice of you to join us Mr. Styles.' Mr. Browning said in a disapproving tone and Harry stepped closer to him. 'Why are you late Harry?' He said and Harry stepped even closer so he could whisper to his teacher.
'My mother had a panic attack so I had to take her to the hospital, Sir.' Harry said very quietly to make sure no one heard him.
'I'm so sorry, Mr. Styles. You can take a seat now.' He said and Harry nodded, it secretly being thank you. It wasn't like Harry was ashamed of his mother. No, he was quite proud of his mother for being so strong and making it so far, but Harry just didn't want people to call his mother unnecessary things behind his back. He's never bullied anyone but he'd gladly beat someone up for her.
The only free seat was the one next to Zayn Malik and his stomach turned in nervousness. He's been secretly crushing on the kid since sophomore year but he knew Zayn would never want him. He never gives Harry a second look because all he sees of him is a player. He doesn't know that Harry is very soft and caring on the inside and it's just the exterior that is the heart breaker.
When Harry placed his things on the floor beside his desk, Zayn glanced up and huffed when he saw that it was him. Zayn was hunched over his sketchbook, his hand moving quickly over the page as hi pencil left charcoal mark behind. Harry was always fascinated while watching Zayn draw because he was in his own bubble and his brows were furrowed as he concentrated on his work. As Mr. Browning was talking about a mid-year project they were going to do, a blonde girl turned around in her seat and looked at Harry. She silently passed him a piece of paper and he forced a smile as he took it. The girl mouthed 'call me' then turned back around. He stuffed the paper into the back pocket of his skinny jeans and out of the corner of his eyes, he saw that Zayn was looking at the girl with a disgusted look on his face. He knew what this looked like to Zayn; just another random girl that Harry was going to hook up with and then never speak to her again but in reality, Harry didn't even want to call her. The only person's number that Harry wanted was Zayn's. But Harry knew he would have to call the girl or else she'd tell her friends and unnecessary rumors would start spreading and Harry just didn't want that. Not that he was scared of what people would say when they found out he as gay but what people would do when they found out he was gay, or even bi. Twice as many people would expect him to hook up with them and that'd be even worse in Zayn's eyes and any chance that Harry might have now with Zayn would be thrown out the window without second thought.
'For this project you're going to need a partner. The person next to you is that person.' Mr. Browning said and a few groans could be heard. Harry rolled his eyes but on the inside he was jumping up and down like a little girl, squealing with joy. No matter how much Zayn disliked him, he would now be forced to spend time with Harry, whether he liked it or not.
'And remember, this is worth half your grade. Now the sheet with your task is being passed around. You have until the end of the lesson to discuss this project. If you have Double English, you have this and whole of next period to discuss this.' Mr. Browning said and then sat down. When the guy, Garrett, sitting in the row next to Harry passed him the sheet, Harry too two, one for him and Zayn, then tapped the girl in front of him and passed the sheets forward. Harry eagerly turned towards Zayn, who was still drawing but Harry could tell that only about 50 percent was going into the work. Harry cleared his throat and Zayn looked up at him with an annoyed expression. Harry handed him one sheet and Zayn took it from him and started reading it.
'So I was thinking that you could do the visual part of the project and maybe I could do the written part.' Harry said once he read that it required artistic and writing skills. Zayn only stared at him with a bewildered expression. 'Or not. I mean, my art skills are shit and yours are... amazing... so...I mean it's just a suggestion. Unless you have another plan... I mean, feel free to contribute...' Harry was so nervous he was rambling. Zayn's expression was a mix of bewildered and amused. 'Or I could do it all myself. Whatever you're...comfortable.. with...' Zayn's eyebrow was raised and Harry decided it was best that he shut up.
'You're actually going to contribute to this project?' Zayn asked and it was Harry's turn to stare at Zayn.
'Uh yeah I mean this is a partner project, but if you don't want me, I'm sure Mr. Browning won't-' Harry bit his tongue before he said anything else.
'No it's not that it's just that.. never mind. I'm fine with doing the visual but since it's English I also wanna help with the writing bit.'
'But that's not fair. You'll do like 75 percent of the work! I'm fine with doing the written part by myself.' Harry said quickly, not wanting to make it seem like he wanted Zayn to do most of the work. Zayn just shook his head.
'I really don't mind. And anyway, the visual part won't take even half the time the writing part will, so even if I do both it’ll only be 50, so it's only fair if I help.' Zayn said and Harry realized that there was no point in arguing with him anymore. For the rest of the class Zayn was drawing and Harry watched him work. Whenever Zayn looked at him Harry quickly looked away. Ten minutes before class ended Harry realized he needed Zayn's number. His heart did a flippy thing before he cleared his throat.
'Yeah?' Zayn said without looking up.
'Erm... can I have your n-number? I'm not hitting on you, I swear. I just need it in case something comes up and I need to reschedule or you need to, or if you wanna make new plans to finish it or something. I'm not hitting on you.' Zayn was making Harry have word vomit and Harry hated himself for it. He probably looked like a stupid popular kid to Zayn.
'God Harry, why are you so nervous? Yes, it’s my phone number, but it’s not for…. Those reasons.' Zayn said as he scribbled down his digits and tore the piece of paper and handed it to Harry. Harry smiled as he took it and realized that he had one more question. This one's for Nick. Because that poor guy didn't have the balls to do it himself.
'Hey Zayn... this is gonna sound weird... but does Louis have a boyfriend...or...girlfriend?' Harry asked and mentally slapped himself for assuming that Louis is gay. Zayn raised an eyebrow.
'Boyfriend..' He confirmed and Harry sighed in relief inwardly. 'And no he doesn't, but I swear to God if you try to make a pass at him I'll-' Harry quickly cut him off before he could continue.
'It's not for me. It's for my friend Nick. He's been crushing on Louis for years now but unfortunately didn't have the balls to ever talk to him, not even in their shared drama period. But anyway, I'll let Nick know. And don't worry, Nick is a hopeless romantic and if they ever got together, he'd smother him in love. He's crazy about Louis.' Harry quickly reassured and Zayn nodded then wordlessly turned back to his sketchbook to pack away. Harry smiled in victory for both himself and Nick.
Maybe he changed Zayn's thoughts on him.
~~
Zayn quickly left the classroom. Harry seemed like a nice guy but Zayn's thoughts couldn't help but remind him ow easily he took the random girl's phone number and he was happy to do it. It's all a game to him. He doesn't care about the girl's feelings, he just wants to get in their pants. And he was probably just being nice to Zayn because he'll just seduce him and then once Zayn sleeps with him, he'll never talk to him. Zayn shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He's never liked Harry. He thought he was disgusting because of how many girls he's slept with. Zayn was a virgin and he was definitely not going to give himself up to Harry. As cliché it may sound, but he wanted his first time to be with someone who loved him and someone he loved. Not just some random time with a random person. And definitely not Harry.
Once he reached the library, his eyes scanned the room for Louis. He was sitting in a empty table, hunched over his books. Zayn smiled to himself and quietly made his way over to Louis. He quickly wrapped his hand around Louis' mouth and eyes and with a voice deeper than his, he whispered.
'Guess who?' He felt Louis' breathing accelerate and quietly chuckled to himself. A muffled cry came from Louis and Zayn released him, laughing harder than he should.
'Oh my God! You asshole!' Louis cried when he realized it was Zayn.
'Dude you're at school, who else could it be?' Zayn questioned as he sat down in the empty chair across from Louis, still chuckling to himself.
'You'd be surprised at how many rapes happen in school.' Louis answered and went back to work. Zayn rolled his eyes but left his friend alone. Zayn scanned the room and stopped when his eyes feel on Harry and his clique. He recognized everyone there and he remembered what Harry said about Nick liking Louis. He wandered if it was true as he studied Nick. He was proven correct when he noticed Nick glancing at Louis every now and then. He leaned in towards Louis and nudged him under the table.
'Huh?' Louis said and blue eyes looked up to be met with gleaming golden ones.
'What do you want?' Lois asked, annoyed. Zayn dismissed it and leaned in even closer.
'Nick Grimshaw.' Zayn said simply and Louis blushed just a tiny bit but looked confused.
'What about him?'
'He likes you.' Zayn said simply and Louis' eyes went as wide as saucers.
'Are you serious?' Louis whispered and Zayn nodded. Suddenly, Louis narrowed his eyes.
'How do you know?' He questioned. Zayn rolled his eyes in response.
'A little bird told me.' Then he got up and left, leaving a very shocked Louis behind.
After free period, Zayn had his last class of the day, Art. It was his favourite subject because he was always free to do anything he wanted. The teacher rarely set them tasks or a theme. Mrs. Rippon, the Art teacher, felt that the best way to see someone’s talent or how wide their imagination is is to not tell them what to do. To just leave them in a blank room and watch as they painted the walls and how they decorated it. She feels like that’s the best way to bring out their true self.
As he walked into the classroom, he felt his phone buzz. He strolled over to his seat at the end of the table, putting his things on the multiple seat table that was splattered with dried paint before checking his phone.
‘Good afternoon Zayn.’ Mrs. Rippon said in her thick English accent. He glanced up to see her smiling at him with warm green eyes.
‘Good afternoon Mrs. Rippon.’ He answered before looking back down. It was from an unknown number.
To: Zayn
Can we start the project today? –H x
Zayn felt the pixel x burn into his mind. Zayn chose to ignore it as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat before saving the number as Harry’s then pushing ‘reply’.
To: Harry
Why so early? We only got the project today… - Z
As he waited for Harry’s reply, Zayn went to the back of the classroom and retrieved a painting that he’s been working for a while now. It was of a boy who was walking down a colourful street and he was black and white and his shadow that was on the wall showed his inner demons. Zayn doesn’t know if it’s of himself or someone else because he decided to paint the boy faceless. When he reached his table, he saw that he had one new message. He set the painting upon the easel that was stood next to his seat.
To: Zayn
I just have a lot of things going on after school this week. –H x
When Zayn read it, he knew what Harry meant. He was busy with that. He was going to put that before his education. Shaking his head with disgust, Zayn replied to Harry’s message.
To: Harry
Oh. Okay then. What time should I come over? – Z
Realizing how that sounded, Zayn cursed himself. He stuffed the phone into his back pocket and went over to the paints. He felt his phone buzz but he didn’t check it. He took his time mixing the paints, trying to prolong his time of replying to the message. He felt weird, knowing he would meet up with Harry Styles after school. He knew it would be totally PG but it still felt… odd…
To: Zayn
Oh, I was wondering if we could do it at yours? My place isn’t exactly available today.–H
Zayn stared at the text for a second. He suggested that they start today, why do they have to go over to Zayn? He also noticed that Harry didn’t put an x at the end of the text and he felt like he hit a nerve.
To: Harry
Yeah sure.
And with that, they negotiated a time that suited them both and Zayn gave him his address.
‘Mr. Malik?’ He heard Mrs. Rippon call his name and he looked up. He realized that everyone was already in the classroom and it was fifteen minutes into the class, and he still hasn’t started painting yet.
‘Yes, ma’am?’ He asked as she approached him.
‘Is everything alright?’ She questioned as she leaned onto the table. Zayn sat himself in front of the easel and picked up his paint brush before answering.
‘Yes, everything’s perfect. I was just making plans with a friend so we could start our English project tonight.’ He told her honestly and she studied him for a second, trying to see if he was lying. When she came to the conclusion that he was telling the truth she nodded.
‘I’m guessing you won’t be staying late today?’ She asked as she pushed herself from the table and Zayn shook his head. Zayn usually stayed a long time after the final bell went, usually staying to perfect his painting or sketches that he’s been working on. But not today. Today he was going to meet up with the school slut.
‘Not today, no. I’ve got a project to start.’ He said once again and she nodded.
‘Have fun.’ She said before going off to converse with another student. And for the rest of the class, he was left alone to his thoughts and his painting.
~~
To say that Harry was nervous was a huge understatement. He was finally going to be able to have a proper conversation with his long-time crush. He was beyond nervous. He stood in front of his bathroom mirror, trying to coax his hair into staying in an upright position. He normally didn’t fuss over his hair but right now it was different. And it wasn’t even a date!
‘What should I wear?’ He asked Caroline who was on the other end of the phone call.
‘Jesus Christ Harry! You’re just going over there to study, not ask his father for Zayn’s hand in marriage. What is wrong with you! Just throw something on!’ Caroline said irritably because for the last thirty minutes Harry has been fussing about his clothing and it’s been getting on her nerves.
‘But I don’t wanna make it seem like I don’t care about how he sees me because I do care about his opinion!’ Harry whined as he sat on his bed helplessly. He had decided to give up on his hair and tie it down with a plain white bandana. He was currently sitting on his bed staring at his open closet that was overflowing with clothes that were recklessly thrown into it.
‘Seriously Harry. Just. Put. Something. On!’ Caroline cried then hung up. Harry huffed but got up and reached into his closet. He pulled out a gray oversized sweater that had brown worn out leather patches at the elbows. He then pulled out black skinny jeans that had holes at the knees. He grabbed his white high top converse off the floor and then grabbed his keys and wallet; he made his way out of his bedroom. He patted his back pockets, double checking that he had his phone before grabbing a donut from the kitchen then heading towards the door.
‘I’m going over to a friends to study!’ He called to his step-father, Robin, who was watching TV.
‘Are you gonna be out late?’ Robin called back and Harry thought about it.
‘Maybe, depends on how much work he wants to do today.’ Harry called back before realising he was forgetting his copy of Their Eyes Were Watching God. He cursed under his breath and jogged back upstairs to his room. Their house wasn’t too big and it wasn’t too small. He was fortunate that Robin had a good paying job to keep all three of them fed. Robin was a good father to Harry and a good husband to Anne. He had stuck with them through a lot of things and Harry was grateful for him being around, both emotionally and financially. Harry didn’t even want to think where they would be if Robin wasn’t here.
Once he made sure that he had everything, he made his way outside and to his car. As soon as he shut his door, his phone buzzed. He set his book on the shotgun seat and then checked his phone.
To: Harry
Are you coming or what? –Z
He couldn’t help but feel that Zayn wanted him to come and go as soon as possible. He brushed of the feeling and clicked reply.
To: Zayn
Yeah, I’m on my way. Xx -H
He got a reply immediately.
To: Harry
On your way as in, ‘I-just-started-getting-dressed’ or as in ‘I’m-in-the-car’? –Z
Harry pushed the key into the ignition and started the car before replying.
To: Zayn
In the car. Xx –Harry
And with that, Harry drove off to the address that Zayn gave him.
To say that Harry was shocked at the size of Zayn’s house was an understatement. His house wasn’t a house. It was a mansion. Harry nervously rolled up to the gates where he was stopped by a guard. Holy shit.
‘Name?’ The guard huffed and Harry swallowed.
‘Harry.’ He answered quietly, feeling very intimidated by this person of high authority.
‘Just Harry?’ The guard raised an eyebrow and Harry shook his head quickly.
‘Styles. Harry Styles.’ He said quickly and the guard said something into a handheld transceiver and waited for a reply. He then nodded once he got one and walked back into the guard house. Harry waited, not sure what was going on. Before he could panic, the gates slowly started rolling open. He waited until they were fully open before slowly driving into the huge driveway. The driveway circled around a huge fountain that stood proud and tall in front of the mansion that was made out of…. Marble? Jesus. He parked his car in the driveway that was beside the marble steps that lead up to the house.
Harry felt out of place as he walked up the three steps that lead to the front door. He felt underdressed just being around the house. He dreaded what he would feel once he was in the house. He stared at the door for a second, debating whether to knock or run. Shaking his head, he knocked on the door and took a step back. This is it, no going back now, Styles. The voice in his head taunted and he swallowed heavily. In one hand he had his worn out copy of the material they were studying this term and with his free hand he was fiddling with the hem of his sweater. He felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket and he quickly pulled it out, glad to have a distraction. Before he opened the text, he knocked again, but louder this time.
To: Harry
What you doing tonight, mate?-N xx
Harry rolled his eyes at the British-ness of his British Boyband wannabe groupie friend, Nick. Nick was nowhere near English and it was downright hilarious when he tried to do an English accent.
To: Nick
English project at a friend’s house, MATE. – H xx
He emphasised the mate so Nick knew he was making fun of him. Just then, the door swung open and a short and chubby woman opened the door. He smiled warmly at her and she returned it.
‘Can I help you, Sir?’ She said in an accent that he couldn’t place. Her vowels were sharper than her consonants, and she rolled her ‘r’, which Harry found annoying, because he wasn’t capable of rolling his ‘r’.
‘Um, is Zayn home?’ He asked slowly, not sure if he got the right address. He tried not to sigh of relief when she nodded and stepped aside to let him in.
‘Leave your shoes here and it’s on the second floor, first door to the right.’ She said and then walked away. Harry toed his shoes off and then followed her instructions.
As Harry ventured up the stairs, he tried not to stare at the rich interior design of the house. It was so clean well kept, that Harry didn’t even want to touch the railing, afraid that if he left finger prints they’d burn his finger prints off. When he reached the top of the stairs of the first floor, he couldn’t help but stop and stare at the huge family portrait that hung right in front of his. To see the whole thing, he had to crane his neck up. It was a portrait of the whole family, the father was sitting on a chair in the middle and had Pakistani features, and on his lap was a young girl that was a spitting image of him. Behind him stood a woman that was a bit younger than him, but was clearly the mother, with her hand on his shoulder. Beside her stood Zayn and another girl that was obviously the eldest child. Beside the father and in front of Zayn stood another girl that was the middle child. All four siblings looked so much like the father and little like the mother. It was quite creepy, yet nice, because they had an aura of beauty vibrating off of them. They all had smiles on their faces and Harry couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous because he’d never have a family like that. Before he started to cry, Harry continued his journey up another flight of stairs.
When Harry knocked the door opened immediately and a very comfortable looking Zayn stood in front of him. His hair was down from his usual quiff and shielded his forehead, almost reaching his eyes. He had a paint splattered t-shit on and grey sweatpants on. He looked like he just threw random clothes on and Harry felt stupid for putting so much thought into his outfit. They stared at each other for a minute, both registering the fact that Harry fucking Styles was at Zayn Malik’s house. Zayn cleared his throat and then stepped aside, letting Harry in.
His bedroom was messy, and it was clear that Zayn did not bother cleaning it up, even though he was going to have company. Harry looked around, registering every little thing. Everything that made Zayn Zayn.
‘Sorry it’s a bit, erm, messy…’ Zayn apologized although he didn’t really sound sorry. Harry shrugged and smirked a bit.
‘It’s fine.’ It really was because it felt like he wasn’t in a big house with expensive things in it, it felt like he was in a small, one floor house that smelt of homemade cookies rather than window cleaner. Harry walked over and sat the edge of Zayn’s bed, his boot set in his lap.
‘I like your hair.’ Zayn blurted and Harry looked over at him with a smirk on his face.
‘Sorry?’
‘I like how you tied it back, it’s nice.’ He explained, causing Harry to look at him funny.
‘It’s always pushed back…’
‘Yeah, but I like how you did it with the bandana.’ Zayn explained before waiving his hand. ‘It just works.’ He turned to his desk, and Harry chuckled, taking a mental note to wear it like that more often.
‘So, how do you want to do this project?’ Zayn questioned and Harry cleared his throat before going into detail of how he thought the poster should look like.
The evening was mostly uneventful; they just exchanged ideas and negotiating on some, before they settled on one idea. Zayn sketched out a rough idea of how it would look like. Once they got they layout they split the writing parts and came up with what each one was going write and then they came up with pictures that Zayn was going to put around the poster.
Once Harry got home, he checked his phone which he has been disregarding the whole evening.
‘I’m home.’ Harry called to Robin, since it was only 7 in the evening.
‘Hello Harry.’ His mother greeted him as she exited the kitchen.
‘Mom. Wow. Hi.’ He said and hugged her. He has not spoken to or seen his mom since he took her to the hospital this morning, not even when he came home for lunch or after school.
‘Surprising, I know. But I got tired of sitting in bed.’ She explained after he pulled away.
‘But do you think you’re getting… better?’ He asked quietly, because, if he was going to be honest, he missed his mother terribly. She’s fallen depressed when Harry was seven, which was when she found out she couldn’t have any children. Harry never knew why she took it so bad, many women couldn’t have children, but his mother took dreadfully. Harry guessed that maybe she didn’t feel like a woman anymore, or maybe she lost who she is. Either way, Harry knew that it wouldn’t end well if he asked.
‘I think so, I mean, I feel happier. But let’s not get our hopes up… I don’t want to disappoint you.. again…’ She whispered and it was as if she stabbed him in the heart.
‘Mom… you never disappointed me…‘ He whispered sadly and she just smiled before walking away. Shaking his head, he headed up to his room. Once he shut the door, he kicked off his shoes and fell on his bed. He took out his phone and checked the message he got whilst still being over at Zayn’s.
To: Harry
Tease me all you want, but you can’t admit it, British lads are hot.
He rolled his eyes once again at Nick’s use of language and texted him. They texted back and fourth for an hour before Harry decided that he should to write the outline of what he’ll write. He got up to look for his book, and after turning his room upside down, he came to the conclusion that he doesn’t have it.
To: Zayn
Did I leave my book over at your place? –H xx
As he waited for Zayn’s reply, he decided he should look again, just in case.
To: Harry
Yes, yes you did. I’ll bring it to school tomorrow. –Z
Harry groaned because every time he goes to a friend’s house he always leaves something there, but smiled once he realized that he’s got a reason to talk to Zayn tomorrow.
~~
Throughout the whole two and a half hours that Harry was over, Zayn was uncomfortable. He didn’t like him being in his house, but he didn’t say it out loud because his mother taught him that if he didn’t have anything nice to say, he should keep his mouth shut. Yes, Harry was very, very attractive, Zayn wasn’t going to deny that, but the way Harry walked and carried himself… it was almost amatory. He didn’t like being in Harry’s presence yet once he was alone, he found himself sketching a faceless boy with a mop of curls on his head. Even without a face, Zayn knew it was Harry; the shoulders thrown back, the chin held up his and the hands pushed into the front pockets with the thumbs sticking out… it was all Harry. It was how he always carried himself; pride and dominance. And even no one would admit it, Harry was dominant over everyone, he was the popular kid that everyone wanted to be with or around. But Zayn wasn’t like that; he didn’t want to be like that. Yet he knew he was going to be like that, sooner or later. Zayn was heuristic, he learned through mistakes, meaning sooner or later, he’ll make a mistake around Harry, and he’s going to be the one that ends up hurt, but he’ll learn from it, and then he won’t do it again.
‘Who was that boy?’ His Polish house keeper, Ursula, asked and Zayn snapped his head up to the direction where her voice came from. He hadn’t realized that she had come in and started cleaning up his room. Zayn sighed and put down his pencil.
‘His name was Harry. He’s my partner for English.’ Zayn explained and she nodded, smiling to herself. ‘What?’ he questioned with a raised eyebrow.
‘He’s very handsome.’ She said bluntly and Zayn burst out laughing.
‘Yeah, you’re not the only one to think so.’ He said before getting up and going to the kitchen.
‘Sooooo, I heard there was a boy hereeee.’ His youngest sister, Safaa, teased from where she was sitting at the kitchen island counter. Zayn rolled his eyes as he opened the fridge.
‘He’s just someone from school. He means no-hey, aren’t you supposed to be in bed, squirt?’ He asked and she looked at him with a ‘are-you-serious?’ look.
‘Aren’t you supposed to have a life?’ She asked seriously and his jaw dropped.
‘You, young lady, have been spending too much time around Doniya. It’s not good for you.’ He scolded. His elder sister, Doniya, is even sassier than Louis, and it’s not a good influence for their younger sisters.
‘Nu uh. It’s Louis. He’s here allll the time and I get it from him.’ She defended as she shoved a forkful of chocolate chip pancakes that she was eating. Zayn rolled his eyes and shut the refrigerator door. He was disappointed that there was nothing for him in the fridge so as he walked out of the kitchen, he stole a pancake from his sister’s plate.
‘Hey that’s mine!’ She cried as Zayn finished the whole thing in three bites. He grinned at her as he swallowed his last bite.
‘Well, it’s almost eight in the evening, and you’re not supposed to be eating this late. And anyway, it doesn’t have your name on it.’ He said, sticking is tongue at her. When she rolled her eyes he turned to walk away, knowing this conversation was over.
‘Do you like him?’ Safaa called and he froze.
‘What makes you think that?!’ Zayn said as he spun back around to face her. She just shrugged her shoulders whilst cutting another pancake.
‘He’s super cute.’ She said and he snorted.
‘And old enough to be your father, Safaa.’ He said before making his way up to his room. He sighed sadly as he passed the family portrait. His parents were rarely home, his mother is a international fashion designer so she travels constantly and his father is a world-wide known label owner, who managed people like Beyonce and Rihanna , so he travels a lot too. Either they’re in another country or in their office working until 3 am and leaving the house at six. They rarely had time while Zayn was growing up as well and Ursula basically raised him and they raised Waliyha and Safaa together. Doniya would sometimes help out too but most of the time she was busy with school work. Zayn didn’t mind too much because it caused him and his sisters to grow very close together.
Once in his room, he flopped on his bed and just laid there, until his eyes started to droop out of tiredness. It was nice, not being bothered by the girls, because usually they would burst in his room and jump on him or his bed, or both at the same time. As soon as he felt sleep wash over him, his phone started buzzing from his night stand. He groaned, rolling over on his back. He debated whether or not he should answer, but he knew if he ignored it, they’d just keep calling.
‘Hello?’ He answered, running a hand over his face.
‘Malik!’ He heard one of his closest friends, Jade Thirwall, shout from the other end. He winced at her volume and pushed himself into a sitting position.
‘Jesus, what’s with the volume?’ He asked groggily as he leaned against the wall.
‘We’ve missed you today. We haven’t seen you at lunch.’ Leigh-Anne Pinnock said and he chuckled.
‘Why are you so obsessed with me?’ He mimicked Mariah Carey’s voice and he heard his four female friends laugh.
‘Oh, Eminem, you’re just too irresistible.’ Perrie Edwards said and Jesy Nelson snorted.
‘Excuse you Jesy.’ He snapped sassily and they all laughed again.
‘Anyway, where have you been?’ Jesy questioned and Zayn sighed.
‘Around.’ He murmured, looking at his lap.
‘Okay, never mind where he’s been. Can we talk about the fact that you’ve got partnered up with the one and only Harry fucking Styles?!’ Perrie cried and he groaned. Perrie and he used to be a thing but once he realized that he was gay they broke up but remained great friends. And it wasn’t a messy break up because they weren’t a very strong couple. They never got along great when being together and sooner or later would decide to be just friends. Zayn just quickened the process.
‘Can we not talk about that?’ He begged, knowing they would not drop it.
‘How about no? I want every single detail.’ Jade said and the other three girls hummed in agreement.
‘There’s not much to tell. We got partnered up and he came over today and we just talked about the project. The end.’
‘Did you see him shirtless?’ Leigh-Anne asked and Zayn made a sound that could not be counted as human.
‘We were doing a school project! And if he would suggest anything, I’d say no. I don’t have a thing for Harry, unlike you girls.’ He said matter-of-factly and Jesy scoffed.
‘Yeah, sure.’ Leigh-Anne said sarcastically and this went on for about an hour, and they wouldn’t stop teasing him about Harry. Zayn denied having any feelings for Harry and even though the girls didn’t believe him, he wasn’t lying. There was nothing but Platonic love, hell, it wasn’t even platonic because he didn’t really consider Harry a friend… more like an acquaintance. When Zayn made an excuse that his sisters needed him they said their goodbyes and Zayn laid back on his bed. He closed his eyes before realizing that he still needed to shower. Groaning, he pushed himself up and made his way to the en suite bathroom.
Once he was showered and ready for bed, he made his way downstairs to where the girls’ rooms were located. Without knocking he opened the door to Waliyha’s room. He groaned when she was on the phone.
‘Bed. Now.’ He said before walking out. As soon as he shut the door, he heard a loud thump, and he rolled his eyes, guessing she threw a pillow or something. When he entered Safaa’s room, he smiled fondly when she was already in bed.
‘Can you tuck me in?’ She asked sweetly and he nodded, grinning.
‘Of course.’ He said softly as he tucked her in. Once he was all done, he kissed the top of her head. ‘I love you, squirt.’ He said and she giggled. He leaned down to kiss her cheek and she wrapped her arms around his neck.
‘I love you too, DJ Malik.’ She giggled and he groaned.
‘Don’t call me that.’ He said after he pulled away. ‘Do you want the door opened or the bedside lamp on?’
‘Door open.’ She confirmed and he nodded. He kissed her forehead once again before switching the lamp off and making his way to the door. Before he fully stepped out, he heard his youngest sister speak up.
‘Zayn?’ She called softly and he looked at her. She had her eyes closed and was laying on her side. So much for tucking her in.
‘Yes?’ He answered quietly.
‘If you don’t want that Harry boy, can I have him?’ She asked and he snorted.
‘Of course princess. You can have any guy in the world.’ He said before opening the door all the way and making his way down the hall. He once again opened Waliyha’s door and was relieved that she was in bed. He walked over to her and kissed her cheek.
‘Goodnight, W.’ He murmured and she smiled lazily.
‘G’night, Malik.’ She murmured before turning to her side so her back was to him. He rolled his eyes and made his way up to his room. He yelled a goodnight to Ursula before closing himself in his room. Once in bed, he picked up his phone and his eyes widened when he saw he had three missed calls, two from Louis and one from his other friend, Selena Gomez, and eleven text messages, five from Louis, and one from Leigh-Anne, Jade, Jesy, Perrie and Selena, and what shocked him the most, one from Harry. He decided he’ll answer the text messages first then call Louis and Selena back. Most of the texts were goodnights texts so he didn’t put much thought into the replies. Selena’s was telling him to call her and Louis was furious because he thought that Zayn was ignoring him. He hesitantly opened Harry’s text, not sure if he wanted to see what it read.
To: Zayn
Goodnight, partner. – H xx
He let out a sigh of relief when it was nothing more than a good night text.
To: Harry
Night, you dweeb. – Z
He then called Selena first, knowing that his conversation with Louis would last for ages.
‘Hello?’ Her voice answered and he smiled. Selena always had a thing for making him calm and showing him the right path in life.
‘Hey.’ He answered back softly as he turned on his TV. He immediately put it on mute and browsed the channels, but his full attention was on Selena.
‘Why are you calling me at nine in the evening, Malik?’ She asked and he chuckled.
‘Oh I’m sorry, were you already sleeping?’ He teased and she groaned.
‘No I wasn’t.’ She defended herself making him snort.
‘Sure. Anyway you wanted to talk about something?’
‘Oh I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You seemed quite… distant today...’ She admitted and he chuckled because his friends cared about every little thing and Zayn absolutely loved it. His parents were never around so he didn’t know if they cared about his well being (mostly mental health) or not, so it was nice to know that his friends did. ‘Zayn?’ Selena pulled his out of his thoughts and he realized he never answered her.
‘Oh, um, yes. I was probably just deep in thought…’ He said and he face palmed himself when he realized that was what she was saying.
‘About….?’ She urged him to continue.
‘Well.. I got paired up with Harry for English and it totally creeped me out, and now nobody will get off my back about it.’ He said and she gasped.
‘Harry as in Harry Styles?’
‘Yes, that Harry…’ He mumbled and then sighed, rubbing his hands on his face.
‘Oh my god! How was it?’ She questioned and he groaned. Not again. ‘Bleh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. You can tell me tomorrow if you want to.’ She said and he smiled, grateful that she was so understanding.
‘Yeah, thanks Sel.’ He said softly and a smile stretched his lips.
‘No problem Zee. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ And with that, she hung up. As he was about to call Louis, he realized he had a new text message. It was from Harry and it must’ve come in when he was on the phone with Selena.
To: Zayn
Dweeb? I am NOT a dweeb, thank you very much. – H xx
Chuckling to himself, he hit reply.
To: Harry
Sure, whatever makes you sleep better at night. – Z
And with that, he called Louis.
The two of them were on the phone until one thirty am, talking about nothing yet everything. Towards the end of the conversation, Zayn was getting kind of heavy lidded and before he knew it, he was pulled into a dreamless state.
‘Zayn! Get up get up get up!’ He heard a high pitched squeal pull him out of his sleep and he groaned. The night passed by way too fast.
‘What do you want quirt?’ He mumbled into his pillow, trying to catch the sleep that was slipping away by the second.
‘It’s time for you to get up or else you’ll be late for school!’ She said in a sing-song voice and it annoyed the fuck out Zayn. But he wasn’t going to say that, of course not. He loves Safaa too much to say things like that to her. He rolled over onto his back and before Safaa could react, he pulled her down so she was straddling the upper half of Zayn’s waist. He poked her stomach and she giggled. He kept poking her lightly until it gradually turned into him ticking her. Quickly, Safaa’s laughs turned into wails and cries for him to stop and he only stopped when Ursula scolded him because he was making him and Safaa late.
~~
For the next couple of weeks, Zayn and Harry fell into a comfortable schedule of doing the project. They would meet up on Mondays and Fridays at Zayn’s house after school at precisely four thirty pm. On Mondays they would talk about what they did during the weekend and they would do individual work and on Friday they would catch up on what they did during the week and give each other ideas for what to write or in Zayn’s case draw, during the weekend. Every class, which was double period four days a week, since both of them were English majors, Mr. Browning would add a bit more to their task, which would earn him multiple groans and moans from the class but Harry didn’t mind. It gave him an excuse to see Zayn more often.
Much to Harry’s delight, they found out a lot about each other, more than either of them expected. Whenever Harry asked a question he expected Zayn to give one worded replies or completely ignore him, but that wasn’t the case. Harry learnt that once Zayn gets into something very much, like he’s currently drawing something, he will answer you with passion, no matter who you are. It’s like he’s feeding off of the passion that he put into that one thing and shares it with the world. In return, Zayn had learnt that Harry actually cares about what other people have to say and their opinions. He’s learnt that Harry isn’t the heartless monster that the kids at school make him out to be. And Harry could see that every Friday, Zayn acted a bit warmer towards Harry than his did in the Monday before. And that made Harry squeal from joy when he was in the privacy of his bedroom. There were other things that Harry did in the privacy of his own bedroom that involved him fucking himself into his hand while thinking of Zayn but he would never admit it to anyone, not even Liam and Niall, who were his best friends. It’s not that he was ashamed of it; it’s just he thinks these kinds of things should be kept to yourself. He knew he was far gone and there was no getting him back, he was already balls deep into his crush on Zayn, and just the thought of Zayn made him all tingly inside. And he knew that he’s going to be the one that’ll end up hurt, humiliated and rejected.
~~
Zayn was uncomfortable getting so close to Harry, he knew that he was just being friendly because he had to. He knew there was a motive behind all of Harry’s friendliness. And no matter how much Zayn thought about it, he always came up with two solutions: Harry either wants to get into Zayn’s pants or he’s just friendly so Zayn would do most of the project. Either way, he’s an ass.
But no matter how much Zayn’s mind hated Harry, his heart and hands say the complete opposite thing. They’re completely smitten with just the idea of Harry. No matter how hard he tries to stop, he can’t help but catch himself sketching A tall and lanky curly haired boy. And every day, he would add a new detail to his drawings. First it’s a mouth. Then it’s a smile. Then it’s dimples. Then it’s moss-green eyes. He doesn’t want that. He wants nothing to do with Harry. He doesn’t want to be hurt, but yet he can’t help but stare at Harry’s lips when he talked or staring at the back of his head in the cafeteria. He has one drawing of Harry that he’s been working on for a couple of days. Every day he adds a detail to his body that he liked the most that day. It’s usually his perfect Cupid’s bow upper lip or his eyes. God, those eyes. Zayn is disgusted with himself. He’s acting like them. He’s acting just like Harry wants him to. He knows what comes next and he’s absolutely scared shit-less. Yet he can’t help to love the thrill of liking Harry Styles.
‘What do I do?’ Zayn asked his friends one lunchtime. They were seated at their usually table and they’ve been eating their lunch in quiet until Zayn decided to speak up.
‘About what?’ Selena asked before taking a big bite out of her Subway sandwich.
‘About Harry.’ Zayn snapped and he suddenly felt all of his friends’ eyes on him.
‘What about Harry?’ Jade asked as she fed some of her cookie to Perrie. Before answering, he eyes the couple warily. Before his could stop his mind, he wondered if he could ever have something like that with Harry; a lovely-dovely relationship, where you wore each other’s clothes, fed each other your own food and count each other’s heartbeats before you fall asleep. He hasn’t realized he’s been blushing like a tomato until it was too late and half of his friends were letting out soft ‘aww’s.
‘You like him, don’t ya?’ Louis asked and Zayn widened his eyes before shaking his head furiously. No. He simply could not like Harry Styles. Never in a million years.
‘Yes you do.’ Jesy stated simply and Zayn once again shook his head. Leigh-Anne just rose a eyebrow before giving one of those ‘men-are-hopeless’ head shakes.
‘Oh look, Harry just entered the room.’ Selena whispered and pointed to the door. Zayn’s head snapped in the direction of the door and his eyes scanned the faces of people coming in. He frowned when he didn’t see Harry and then froze. Oh no.
‘Told ya.’ Louis said smugly before looking down at his phone. Zayn rolled his eyes at him before staring down at his food which he has lost his appetite for.
‘You should at least give Harry a chance Zayn.’ Louis said without looking up from his phone and Zayn snorted.
‘Of course you think that. You’re dating one of his best friends. And you’re only saying that because you wanna go on one of those sappy double dates or something.’ Zayn said and Selena nodded her head in agreement.
‘I agree. Don’t get too close to him Zayn. You’ll only end up hurt. His kind are not good with relationships.’ She stated as she scrunched up the wrapper of her finished sandwich. He could hear Louis snort as he bit into his chicken wrap he got from Subway.
‘Oh please Sel. We all know you like Justin. And he’s one of “Harry’s kind.”’ Louis said and made air quotations with is index and middle fingers. Selena blushed at that and ducked her head, making Jesy and Leigh-Anne burst out laughing. Perrie and Jade have been too engrossed in their own little bubble that once they hear their laugh, they looked around confused.
‘Okay, Justin is not like Harry.’ She defended and Louis only raised an eyebrow.
‘But he’s one of “Harry’s kind”’ He stated once again and at that point Zayn just tuned everyone out to background noise as he finished the rest of his wrap and not thinking about Harry. Because oh boy, he was in deep, deep trouble.
~~
Harry laid back on the cold grass and stared up at the sunny sky that was partly blocked out but the leaves of the tree. Harry could only see little bits and pieces of baby blue between the leaves and Harry found it utterly beautiful. Beautiful just like Zayn.
‘I like Zayn.’ Harry blurted out and as soon as the words left his mouth, he squeezed his eyes shut as if closing them hard enough it would open up a hole in the ground and eat him up.
‘Zayn? Zayn who?’ Niall Horan asked as he chewed on his chips. Harry rolled his eyes even though Niall couldn’t see it due to Harry having his eyes closed.
‘How many fucking Zayns do you know, Niall?’ Harry snapped at his best friend and heard him gasp.
‘Don’t talk to Niall like that, Harry. He was just asking.’ Liam defended his boyfriend and Harry’s stomach twisted with jealousy because he knew that Zayn would never defend him like that.
‘Whatever.’ He said and sat up. He pushed a nervous hand through his gravity defying hair and let out a sigh.
‘So you like Zayn Malik…’ Caroline said slowly and he nodded.
‘Do you like him like, “I wanna fuck him so hard up against the wall he won’t be able to walk till Christmas’ or ‘I wanna bake cupcakes together and tell him about my mom”?’ Nick asked and they all stared at him for a second.
‘”I wanna bake cupcakes together and tell him about my mom.”’ Harry confirmed and they all gasped.
‘Damn, you chose the wrong one.’ Nick murmured and Harry looked at him curiously.
‘What do you mean?’ He asked and Nick stared at him for a second, debating whether he should tell Harry or not.
‘Well… Zayn thinks you’re a heartless monster who fucks girls because he can.’ He deadpanned and Harry’s heart dropped.
‘W-w-well, what do I-I d-do?’ He stammered and Nick sighed as he threw his head back, trying to absorb as much sun as he could before lunchtime was over.
‘Prove it to him you have a heart.’
And so Harry did. He talked to Zayn’s friends about the most random things, like his favorite type of chocolate or favorite kind of cake or flower. They were reluctant to tell him at first but once he told them his feelings towards Zayn, they warmed up to him a bit, but one girl he identified as Leigh-Anne threatened that if he even scratches Zayn’s heart, that’d be the end of him. And he took that very seriously.
On Monday, Harry sent Zayn bouquet of red roses and Calla Lilies to his locker, which Harry has found out were his favorite. Such a feminine taste, but Harry loved it. Harry watched from the corner as Zayn read the note and smiled when he saw him blushing. Before Harry could hide, Zayn’s head snapped up and immediately his eyes met Harry’s. Zayn rose an eyebrow and held up the card, tilting his head to one side, as if to say ‘really?’ and harry smirked, shrugging, as if to say ‘what can I say?’. Zayn chuckled before Zayn awkwardly attempted to put them in his locker and after many, many failed attempts and odd stares, he realized he would have to carry them around for the rest of the day. And that made Harry smile because he knew Zayn would think of him all day.
~~
O my Luve’s like a red, red rose,
That’s newly sprung in June:
O my Luve’s like the melodie,
That’s sweetly play’d in tune .
-H xx
Was what the card read and he couldn’t help but giggle and blush like a school girl, because it was so adorable.
As much as Zayn hated to admit it, the bouquet was just so adorable and the card made him melt. He wasn’t going to lie, he was a hopeless romantic and he loved it when people did this to him, yet, unsurprisingly, no one has ever done this to him before. And Harry honestly surprised him when he did it.
It was embarrassing carrying the whole thing around for the whole day. People stared and the teachers asked and he was to embarrassed to answer. And when he got home, his sisters would not get off his back about the flowers. Ursula just smiled and silently took the flowers from him, going off to find a vase and to set it on Zayn’s desk.
Zayn hated to admit it but he was falling for the guy. It just wasn’t his fault. It was Harry’s fault for being so god damn adorable and sending him fucking red roses and Calla Lilies.
On Tuesday when Zayn arrived there was nothing waiting for him. He sighed in relief because he was spared a day of embarrassment but he was kind of disappointed because he liked it. He liked how Harry went out of his way to ask his friends about his favourite kind of flower and then went out to buy some. But as soon as he opened his locker, he noticed he huge bucket standing in front of him. He swallowed nervously, not wanting to know what was inside. But curiosity got the better of him and he grabbed the bucket and fuck, it was heavy. When Zayn looked inside, he noticed heart shaped chocolate hearts wrapped in red tinfoil and atop them sat a perfectly folded card. He took the card with shaking hands and carefully set the bucket down.
Wild nights! Wild nights!
Were I with thee ,
Wild nights should be
Our luxury!
Futile the winds
To a heart in port,
Done with the compass,
Done with the chart.
Rowing in Eden!
Ah! the sea!
Might I but moor
To-night in thee!
-H xx
As soon as he read it e knew it was the perfect poem because night time was their thing. It was when they saw each other and got away from all the bullshit and got to know each other more.
No matter how much Zayn wanted to hate Harry, he knew he couldn’t. He was far too gone now. Not with the bouquet of his favourite flowers and a whole fucking bucket of heart shaped chocolates and poems. No one could resist that. And maybe that was Harry’s point; to have Zayn so smitten with him he’ll beg to even be able to suck Harry off, but Zayn didn’t care, because what mattered is that Harry actually tried.
~~
On Wednesday, Harry didn’t get Zayn anything physically but he did have a question for Zayn. So as he leaned against Zayn’s locker on a Wednesday morning, he had to shove his hands into his pockets to stop them from shaking. Once he spotted Zayn making his way over to his locker with saucer wide eyes, he nearly ran the other way. But it was too late anyways, Zayn already saw him. When Zayn arrived at his locker, the two just stared at each other awkwardly. Zayn opened his mouth to say something but Harry beat him to the punch.
‘Do you wanna study at my place? Tonight?’ Harry blurted before he could stop himself. Zayn’s eyes went wide for a second and he took his time processing his words. Harry realized too late what Zayn took his words as and nearly choked on his spit.
‘N-not like that! I just… um… Oh Jesus, I feel bad that we’re always at your place…. So, I, erm, I thought we could just study at my place for once.’ Harry said the whole thing so quickly and only on one intake of breath that he was nearly gasping for air when he finished. Zayn just stood there, staring at him.
‘Forget it. It’s a stupid idea. I shouldn’t have-‘
‘No it’s fine. I’ll come over at five.’ Zayn said before spinning around and running into the nearest men’s bathroom, leaving a baffled Harry at his locker.
~~
When Harry suggested he come over to his place tonight, Zayn got thoughts. He got thoughts of Harry’s inhumanly large hands touching him in places that got him just so fucking hard that he didn’t know if he would make it to the bathroom on time.
Zayn locked himself in the bathroom and dropped his bag and his pants onto the floor in a second. His boxers followed quickly after and his erection sprung up. He gripped it tightly and closed his eyes as he let his mind wonder into the land of Harry fantasies.
He spend the next ten minutes or so furiously fucking himself into his own hand, with the sleeve of his jacket stuffed into his mouth to keep thee moans from coming out. When he came, he called out Harry’s name but it was muffled by his jacket. He quickly wiped himself off and exited the bathroom like nothing had just happened.
For the rest of the day, whenever he saw Harry, he thought about what he’d done in the morning and immediately flush, because he was going over to his house after school. If you’d ask him he’d deny it but Zayn was nervous. What if Harry does want to fuck? What will happen to their friendship if he denies him? Or worse, what if he says yes but he’s not good enough for Harry?
Zayn spent the rest of the day in paranoia. All these questions and worries and anxieties running through his head and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get them to stop. Even as he drove up to Harry’s house, he drummed his fingers on the wheel nervously and as his hand went up to ring the door bell, he could see it shake slightly.
~~
Harry was going out of his mind. And not because he thought that Zayn thought they were gonna bang, but how will Zayn react to his private life? The life no one knows about? Will Zayn laugh at him and walk out or will he give him his pity? The worst part is that Harry didn’t wait either of those. He didn’t want pity because he was okay with taking care of his mother and he didn’t want Zayn to walk out on him, not after he increased his chances. And Harry knew this won’t go away after a few nights with a few different girls, because Zayn has intoxicated his body so bad that he left burns that will stay raw for a lifetime, and that’s never a good thing.
When the doorbell rang, Harry nearly jumped out of his skin. Here it goes. All or nothing.
When he opened the door, there stood Zayn. And fuck, he was so delicious looking. He had his hair down from his perfect quiff, which was becoming a tradition because every time Harry came over, he never had a quiff. A tight white t-shirt hugged his perfect body and his jeans were so tight his bulge was bigger than Mount Everest. Harry was shamelessly checking him out which caused Zayn to chuckle.
‘Take a picture, it’ll last longer.’ He said and Harry blushed. When he stepped aside to let Zayn in, he caught a whiff of his cologne and went weak in the knees. Everything about his was so perfect. Then Harry noticed something.
‘You don’t have any books with you…’ Harry said out loud, causing Zayn to turn around and look at him. Zayn blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.
‘Yeah…well… I… you… thought… us…’ Zayn stammered and Harry laughed out loud.
‘It’s fine. I wasn’t planning on doing anything school related with you anyway. I have something else in mind.’ He said and without any further explanation, he led them upstairs. The journey to his room was silent, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Both of them were shaking with fear but for two completely different reasons. Zayn thought he was going to be one of Harry’s sluts and Harry was scared Zayn is going to walk away.
When they sat on Harry’s bed, it was silent for a moment.
‘I…I have something to tell you. Well.. I have several things to tell you actually.’ Harry whispered and in that moment, all the fear and paranoia, showed on his face. Zayn studied his face for a while before realizing that Harry didn’t invite him here to fuck. His face softened and he grabbed Harry by the chin, forcing him to look Zayn in the eyes.
‘What’s wrong?’ Zayn asked softly and Harry closed his eyes. Here we go.
‘It’s… it’s about my mom…’ He whispered but didn’t dare open his eyes.
‘Sh…she’s severely depressed and I’ve been taking care of her for years. She cuts herself and I’ve walked in on her several times, but I don’t care because I know she loves me… and this is the reason I never invited you over…’ Harry whispered and Zayn was still looking at him, waiting for the punch line. When Zayn didn’t reply, Harry cracked open an eyes and it immediately filled with tears. When he saw Zayn’s stony expression, he opened both eyes and wiped away the tears that started flowing without Harry’s permission.
‘Harry… why are you so upset?’ Zayn whispered, shifting himself closer to Harry.
‘A-aren’t you going to laugh? Call her a freak?’ Harry whimpered and Zayn’s heart broke and he pulled Harry onto his lap, engulfing him in a hug. Harry sniffed against Zayn’s chest.
‘Why would I do that?’ He questioned as her rubbed Harry’s reassuringly.
‘Because the last time I told someone that, someone outside of my close group of friends, they called her a freak and walked out…’ Harry murmured and buried himself into Zayn’s chest.
‘Harry… I would never do that…’ Zayn said softly and Harry pulled away slightly and looked into his eyes.
‘So… you’ll stay?’ He asked with hopeful eyes and Zayn smiled softly.
‘Of course I’ll stay, silly.’ Zayn said and bumped their noses together. He tried his best to ignore his turning stomach due to their proximity.
‘And… I have to tell you another thing…’ Harry said and looked at his intertwined fingers. Zayn just waited patiently. Finally, with a deep breath, Harry looked up with newfound confidence and said it before he chickened out.
‘I like you… but more than just a friend… I’ve liked you for years now…I just never knew how to tell you…’ He said and Zayn froze. Zayn’s brain took a painfully slow time with processing the information Harry just told him and it drove Harry to a new level of paranoia.
‘Fuck. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. Shit, I ruined everything, I’m so so-‘ Harry was cut off by a soft pair of lips smashing into his. It took him a second to realize what was happening but as soon as he did, he kissed Zayn back. It was everything and so much more than Harry has ever imagined. It was perfect and amazing, and just everything. It was slow and driven with passion and it made Harry’s inside melt. He moaned into the kiss and locked his fingers into Zayn’s hair. Zayn grabbed his hips and slowly laid them back onto the bed. They stayed like that until they ran out of breath.
When they pulled away, Harry touched his forehead to Zayn’s, both of them panting.
‘God, I’ve wanted to do that for so long, you have no idea.’ He said and Zayn laughed.
‘Wait, so does this make us like, a thing now?’ Harry asked and with a smirk, Zayn nodded slowly.
‘I think so.’ He answered shyly and Harry pecked him on the lips.
‘Jesus, Louis is going to murder us with double dates.’ Zayn moaned, making Harry laugh.
‘I don’t mind as long as you’re there.’ Harry said before smashing his lips into Zayn’s once again.