Archive of Our Own ^beta

Meet Jackson. Jackson Wang, 22 years in international age, 23 in the weird Korean way of counting, former fencer, current singer and variety star from Hong Kong, China. Mostly known in China, but recently making his way into the hearts of the followers of Korean pop culture with his charms and surprisingly good language head, appearing in various variety shows and now, doing his first CF in Korea with NBA.

Jackson had done CFs before of course, different promotions and sponsorships starting from when he was a star youth athlete in the Olympics, but it was the first time he had such a massive campaign solely abroad, and Jackson was super excited about it. The NBA promotions included all sorts of perks, from tv adverts to social media campaigns and Jackson’s likeness plastered all over the NBA stores everywhere in Korea.

There were stand-ins at the stores. Jackson wanted one.

He knew Mark, his manager and ‘unfortunately’ also his best friend, would be mad at him for leaving his hotel room without an entourage to go out, but Mark had also been around for long enough to know that nothing could cure Jackson of his late night trips alone, four walls never being able to contain him for too long as he seeked excitement or distractions despite having had long days of work behind him. This time though, Jackson was on the move earlier than usual, at a time where plenty of normal people might still be up and about, but that was because Jackson was on a mission. After having settled into his hotel room he had gotten the impulsive idea to go see one of the NBA stores himself and on the same trip ask for a stand-in of his own. Jackson had looked up online a store that would both be still open quite late in the evening and sort of out of the way that it would be less likely to be full of people, and to his glee, found one only a short taxi ride away.

Of course Jackson had taken the appropriate measures by disguising himself well, charging his smartphone battery sufficiently and checking the different exit routes and taxi stops around the mall where the store was located so that he could always get himself out if he happened to catch too much attention. See? Jackson was not completely reckless, not after the times he had gotten crowded at public places before and with how he had to deal with that at airports despite the security every time he flew because of his schedules. But anyway, it seemed like this time his measures were not as needed as usual when he was out, because Monday evening was apparently and thankfully not a popular day for shopping in this part of town. Jackson got into the NBA store without being stopped even once, although some girls had been whispering and pointing at him as he passed by the café at the entrance of the mall, so he considered himself lucky. It was rather freeing, to be able to walk around without being recognized, tailed and filmed everywhere he went for once.

It was bound to come to an end of course, since the whole plan was to go into the store that had Jackson’s face and body on every promotional poster at every corner of the store, and full-body stand-ins at the front. Jackson crinkled his nose as he noted that the promotional team had photoshopped his legs to be slightly slimmer and longer on the picture printed onto the stand-in than what Jackson felt like he saw every morning in his full-body mirror, although Jackson had explicitly asked for them to not touch his short stump legs with an editing program.

(Mark would have told him they hadn’t photoshopped his legs but rather it was Jackson who saw himself worse than he was, but Mark wasn’t here, was he.)

Anyway, the stand-in and the other promotional pictures looked good. Better even now, seeing them live and in the store than from what they had looked like in the pictures shown to Jackson, and he was even more excited about the stand-in than he had been before, if that was possible. To remember this feeling he was taking pictures around the store as memories, sending some to his mom straight away because he knew she would love to have them. Jackson remembered the days of the NBA photoshoots and the interviews and everything, remembered being totally exhausted after having had them crammed into his already full schedule. He had been, like usual for schedules, especially photoshoots, pulled and pushed back and forth between makeup and styling and hair for hours and hours. His then long flashy blonde hair had been styled every which way to suit the different caps and sweatbands, and he had been sweating like a little pig under the hot studio lights, but Jackson thought back to it fondly now, very happy with the results (and the money he knew was coming in was nice, too, he guessed).

Jackson rearranged the short strands of his now short dark brown hair under the cap he had pulled on earlier to hide his face, before making a beeline for the counter of the (rather small) store. Jackson was rather proud of himself for his great choice of store, because this one was basically empty, the only other customer having left just before he had sneaked his way in, and as a cherry on top there was a rather pretty boy working the cash register. Perfect choice indeed, Jackson liked his fanboys the best, and although this one might not be his fan exactly, they would still know who he was just by working here and having seen his face everyday, and Jackson knew him appearing at such a time and at such a store so far from being the flagship of the line would definitely be a huge surprise for the sales clerk. Jackson looked forward to his reaction.

Checking his looks in a mirror behind a rack of jackets before stepping up to the counter, Jackson tipped his snapback up a little and pulled the black face mask he had been wearing down below his chin to flash a trademark smirk at the sales clerk just as the black-haired man looked up from whatever he had been focusing on below the counter. His charm and confidence on full blast, Jackson asked whether he could have the stand-in.

The thing was, Jackson absolutely did not expect not to be recognized. Not after revealing his full (although makeupless) face in a store where he was currently doing a promotion in, with his likeness plastered on every vertical surface that was not a mirror. But instead of eyes widening in surprise or getting all flustered and shocked, the sales clerk just blinked at Jackson with a polite but blank expression on his handsome face. Not even a pinch of recognition flickered in the beautiful pair of black eyes.

“I’m sorry, but the stand-ins are company property and we are not allowed to give them away to fans, no matter how devoted.”

Meet Jinyoung. Park Jinyoung, 23 in Korean age, drama student majoring in acting at the Korean National Institute of Arts, and working on evenings and weekends at the NBA store nearest to the campus to pay for his tuition and obscenely high rent. He would have much rather worked at a library or a bookstore, but those had very few openings and he had not managed to secure one, so it was either he become a sales clerk or a waiter, and as a waiter he would have had way less excess time during his late evening shifts that he could have used for reading, and much more sucking up to do towards the customers, so the choice had been rather easy.

The pay for a waiter at some popular theme café would have been better, sure, but the NBA store was conveniently closeby and mostly quite calm. Only the occasional complaining customer and the ever-changing celebrity promotions caused any sort of fuss, the latter as on the opening days fans would swarm in, wanting to take pictures of and with the promotional posters and stand-ins, if their smaller store had managed to secure some. Same had been with this promotion like with every promotion before it – fans had come in, made a mess and bought some items that their favorite or favorites were wearing, and went on their way. They made a lot of noise, but they brought the store a lot of promotion and money, which was what the bosses of course wanted. Jinyoung didn’t care. Jinyoung would get paid the same amount anyway.

Usually the fans were of the other sex than the idols doing the promotion though, which made for some hilarious purchasing choices. That was what made this particular fan different from the others, if not already for the fact that they came in late at night, barely fifteen minutes before closing, and several days after the display had opened. That hadn’t seemed to dampen their excitement though, what with the way they were snapping pictures of the pictures, which was rather redundant in Jinyoung’s opinion. He was quite sure that NBA had most likely shared the promotional pictures on their social media anyway – why bother taking pictures of their own unless they were taking selfies with the pictures of their idols?

Anyway, none of Jinyoung’s business. He had no interest in pop culture in general. Sure, he knew the songs that were looped all the time on radio and in stores such as the one he was working in right now, but he didn’t really watch tv shows nor did he follow any groups. His co-workers, especially Bambam, the (wonderful) pest, could not understand how Jinyoung did not know this and that girl group member and how they were looking especially cute in these promotions, or whatever dating news or scandals were going on at the moment, but they weren't in Jinyoung’s interests. Television dramas and movies, of course, books and literature, definitely, but pop music, gossip and girl or boy groups? Not so much.

It didn’t seem like the fanboy was up to any trouble, so Jinyoung let his eyes slip down to the course book he was reading below the counter. There were final exams coming up, and Jinyoung wanted to keep his good grade average and graduate with high marks, so he was using every moment he could to revise.

Movement from the corner of his eye alerted Jinyoung to the fanboy approaching the counter now, so he quickly marked his page and placed his book under the counter so that he could address the customer as was proper. His eyes flickered up the fanboy’s frame clad in loose, black clothing up to a rather handsome makeupless face, big almond shaped eyes blinking at Jinyoung and full mouth spread into a confident, toothy grin.

Jinyoung didn’t even get the first syllable of his greeting out before the man spoke, accent clear but not too heavy on his Korean. “Hi, I was thinking, could I have the stand-in once the promotions are done?”

Ah. Another one of these. Kind of late if they really thought Jinyoung could just give out the stand-in like he owned it, considering he had gotten received several of these questions already on the opening day of the promotions (he had tried to avoid working that shift, but had had no such luck). Jinyoung refused the fanboy like he had refused all the fangirls before, but unlike the girls, who would nod, avert their gaze and thank him anyway, this fanboy kept staring at Jinyoung expectantly, and Jinyoung was not quite sure how to react, his role as a customer servant preventing him from just going back to his book as the customer was still standing right there and clearly wanting something of him.

To break the rather awkward silence, Jinyoung widened his friendly customer service smile a bit more and asked, “Is there anything else I could help you with?”

That seemed to do the trick, as the fanboy snapped out of his daze and blinked those (tremendously big) chocolate eyes in quick sequence at Jinyoung. The fanboy’s mouth dropped open for a moment before he closed it again with a snap, one hand rising to point at his own face in a quite silly manner as he spoke. “Um, can’t you make an exception? I’m, you know, Jackson Wang? Not just any fan, so.” A pause that did not last enough for Jinyoung to form a polite answer before the boy continued, “You know what, I don’t usually do this, but I could sign the stand-in, so you would get more customers for sure for as long as the promotions go on, how’s that sound like?”

“Please don’t vandalize the stand-in,” Jinyoung blurted before he could help himself, hand rising in an effort to gesture back the crazy entitled fanboy who had already started to turn to make his way over to the (Plastic? Cardboard? Jinyoung wasn’t sure) figure and give it his apparently blessing of a signature. Well, Jinyoung guessed fanboys were probably pretty rare in the fandom, and this one must be popular on instagram or twitter or weibo or whatever the fans used nowadays to think himself this important.

To try and make the situation crystal clear for the foreign boy, Jinyoung cleared his throat and tried to format his frustration as politely as he could. “Look, you’re not the first fan who asks for the stand-in. Some even offered money for it, but the thing is, it’s company property. We can’t promise it to anyone, so I’m sorry, you can’t get it.” To try and soften the message, Jinyoung added, ”You can take as many pictures with it as you’d like, though.”

If Jinyoung wasn’t feeling annoyed right now, he would think that the surprised and open expression on the fanboy’s face was cute. But he was, and the boy’s attitude of the salesperson refusing his request being the biggest surprise in the world was really getting on Jinyoung’s nerves.

“You really don’t know who I am?”

Oh, the entitlement. Like Jinyoung was required to know everything about the idol and the fandom just because he worked at the store they were doing a promotion in, a promotion Jinyoung had had absolutely no say in. “No, I don’t, I’m sorry, I’m not really in the scene.”

“Oh.” The boy seemed perplexed for a moment, a furrow appearing between clearly plucked and shaped eyebrows, before it faded into a happy-go-lucky smile that caught Jinyoung totally off guard with its brightness and suddenness. The foreigner’s moods were changing so quickly Jinyoung was getting whiplash. “That’s cool.”

Jinyoung figured the foreigner was trying to say that it was alright, so Jinyoung nodded, expecting the boy to finally back off, but apparently he was wrong again, because the boy was settling his hands on the counter and leaning slowly over it to study Jinyoung’s face closer, like he was a curious specimen in a lab or something. Jinyoung wondered how far he could lean away from the fanboy before it would be considered impolite customer service, when the chocolate-eyed boy opened his full lips to speak again and–

Maybe Jinyoung was not completely out of luck yet, because the fanboy’s cellphone rang, and the shorter man quickly backed away from Jinyoung’s personal bubble to dig it out of his baggy pants and answer.

“What’s up Mark, don’t worry I’m fine –” and the rest Jinyoung didn’t understand because the boy switched from English to Chinese, since although Jinyoung had done excellently in his English and Japanese courses, he hadn't taken any Chinese, and thus couldn't follow the rest of the conversation if he would have even wanted to.

So now Jinyoung was just standing there, behind the counter, not able to get back to his book as he still had the customer standing there, although the foreign boy was now focusing on the phone call and not Jinyoung, fingers of his free hand dwindling on the hem of his oversized sweater. Jinyoung followed the movement with his eyes for the lack of anything else to do, distractedly noting that the fabric of the slightly shorter boy’s pants clung to his thighs just a little bit, revealing their muscularity.

Jinyoung snapped his eyes up to the man’s – Jackson’s? – face with quite the speed as the foreigner ended his call with a “I’ll be right there, see ya” in English.

“Sorry, that was my man– uhhh, friend, I gotta go. I’ll try to visit later again, though!”

Not knowing what to do, Jinyoung nodded and blurted the usual farewell he was supposed to say to customers as they were leaving, although the fanboy – Jackson – hadn’t even bought anything, and as such, couldn't really be called a customer. From his post behind the counter Jinyoung saw Jackson stop by the stand-in at the entrance, but when it didn’t seem like the boy was trying to steal it in front of Jinyoung’s watchful eyes – and anyway the alarms would go off if he even tried to – Jinyoung relaxed, digging his course book from beneath his counter before lifting his eyes again, checking up on Jackson once more.

Jinyoung decided to fix his eyes firmly onto his book as they had started to cling too much on the curve of Jackson’s neck where the back of his head attached to the nape of his neck, the dark but still brown hairs visible beneath the snapback.

Because he was focusing on his book Jinyoung didn’t see the boy leaving, and it wasn’t until a couple of minutes later, when Jinyoung was closing the store, that he noticed that he really should have kept a closer eye on the fanboy. Despite Jinyoung’s explicit forbiddance, Jackson had gone and scribbled his (rather big) signature onto the stand-in, like he was some sort of a big star or something. Slightly panicking, Jinyoung attempted to rub at the black ink with his fingers, but it wasn’t budging, made with permanent marker or something, and Jinyoung cursed under his breath. In an attempt to not get fired, Jinyoung picked the stand-in up and lugged it into the backroom, intending to google a way to remove permanent marker.

Bambam, who had been at the back of the store room sorting the new incoming products, noticed him entering with the stand-in. The Thai boy blinked at him a couple of times before oh-so-eloquently and cleverly questioning Jinyoung. “Why are you bringing the stand-in in?”

Instead of answering verbally Jinyoung set the stand-in down and turned it to face Bambam, pointing angrily at the scribble right on top of the idol’s chest. Bambam got up from his seat and approached Jinyoung with his head tilted, like he couldn’t have seen the black signature contrasting on the white jacket the stand-in person wore already from where he had been sitting.

“Was that signature there before?” Really, Jinyoung had thought Bambam was smarter than this.

“No, obviously, blockhead. Some fan came in just before closing and vandalized the stand-in while I wasn’t looking.” Jinyoung tried to reach to hit Bambam lightly on the head, but the (at the moment grey-haired) younger man ducked from beneath his arm to observe the damage from up closer.

“A fan?” Bambam repeated, big round eyes flickering up to look at Jinyoung in doubt before lowering them again to the signature, touching his fingers to the edges of it much more gently than Jinyoung had before.

“Yeah, some fanboy. Jackson something. Foreigner. Spoke Korean quite well though, and I told him not to scribble onto the stand-in, but either he didn’t understand or he didn’t care. Can you run to the general store downstairs and get some nail polish remover or something and help me to get it off? I think something like that should do the trick…”

“Jackson? Like, Jackson Wang?” Bambam was giving Jinyoung that face again, the one when Jinyoung did not know the latest fandom drama or girl group debut or whatever, and there was a lot of surprise mixed into it. But Jinyoung was annoyed, stressed and rather tired, and he wanted to get back home to study instead of staying late at the store to clean a scribble off of a stand-in, so he had no strength or patience to humor Bambam right now.

“Yeah, I guess. Can you go get some nail polish now, please? I want to get home preferably some time before midnight.” It was saying a lot that Jinyoung was asking somewhat nicely.

Bambam bursting into a fit of laughter was not the reaction Jinyoung had wanted nor expected. It was not helpful, and also it made Jinyoung feel stupid as he was clearly missing out on an apparently hilarious joke that was most definitely making fun of him.

“Oh my god this is priceless, I can’t wait to tell Yugyeom,” Bambam finally got out between wheezing breaths from where he had bent over, straightening to smirk at Jinyoung openly. Jinyoung did not appreciate the disrespect. “Nah, leave the signature. He’s kinda famous in the fandom, fans coming in are gonna love it.”

Jinyoung tried to argue against it, unwilling to let the fanboy win even symbolically, but Bambam didn’t give in, and in the end Jinyoung didn’t feel like wasting any more time fighting about it, agreeing to leave the signature if Bambam took all responsibility for it in case their superiors came asking about it. Bambam agreed with an easy grin, which made Jinyoung narrow his eyes at the unruly dongsaeng, being suspicious of the Thai boy’s intentions, but not having any energy to argue anymore.

Bambam had agreed to take responsibility for it, so whatever. It was not Jinyoung’s problem.

In the end, Jinyoung had to grudgingly admit in the back of his head that Bambam (and Jackson) were right, because the signature was loved by the fans coming in. After Jinyoung had answered to the first enquiry of “is that stand-in really personally signed by Jackson Wang?” with an affirmative, the news apparently spread fast amongst fans, and more came in to take pictures with the now signed stand-in than there had been even on the opening day.

Jinyoung didn’t know what the big deal was, but he didn’t want to ask with how smug Bambam had acted about it on the days after, so he left the matter alone, and hoped that whenever that apparently famous fanboy would come in the next time, if he even would come like he had threatened, Jinyoung would not be working that shift.

But as Jinyoung’s bad (or good?) luck would have it, of course he was.

It could be explained with how Jackson was not used to not being recognized by people around his age from countries he was active in if he had revealed both his face and his name. Not since the days when he had won his first variety prices in China, and since his appearances on TV in Korea, the same fate of being recognized on the streets if he wasn’t properly disguised haunted him here, also.

Jackson would have found it understandable, really, if it would be just some random guy from the street not recognizing him, but someone literally working at a store where Jackson’s face was everywhere? It was more than unlikely, it was weird, and so of course Jackson was interested in seeing how far he could take it before he would get caught. It was his new project, and planning it was a way to spend time between filmings and being shuffled around between Korea and China as Mark did his absolute best to get Jackson through all the different things crammed into his schedule, like usual.

But since he had straight out told the salesperson – Park Jinyoung, his name plaque had read – his name, Jackson had to get creative. He had to wait for the boom at the store to calm down – he saw a lot of fans posting pictures online of the signed stand-in once they had figured out that it had his actual signature – as he did not want to end up at the store in a crowd of fans without bodyguards or Mark. After some days, when the flood of pictures had mostly calmed down, Jackson saw his chance. He idly wondered while sneaking out of his hotel room on another Monday evening how long it would be until Mark would finally have a nervous breakdown and attach a GPS tracker to the idol he was supposed to guard and watch over. Well, apparently Jackson was hellbent to find out.

Anyway, Jackson was taking more risks this time than he usually was, which was another reason for Mark to scold him later. He was wearing much more obvious clothing than last time, because his plan was to wear the same exact clothes he was wearing in the picture they had used for the stand-in in the store Jinyoung worked at, and see if that would get Jinyoung to recognize him. He couldn’t look that much different from the pictures just because of the lighting, change in hair and no makeup, right?

Because of his more obvious choice of clothes, Jackson did of course get recognized much more this time, but at least he managed to shake his fans off before entering the mall.

It had not even occurred to Jackson that he might arrive at a time when Jinyoung wasn’t working, but his gamble worked out even without him having realized its risk, because when Jackson ducked into the store and glanced around to make sure there was no other customers, his eyes found Jinyoung again behind the counter. Much like last time, the black-haired man was immersed in a book, but he looked up at the movement of Jackson half sprinting into the store (he was trying to avoid being noticed just before he got into the store because he didn’t feel like doing laps around the mall to lose his tail).

The half glare that Jinyoung directed his way told Jackson that Jinyoung was (probably) still blessedly unaware of who Jackson was, which was great, because that was why Jackson had taken all these extra risks to arrive here in this very recognizable getup. It also told Jackson that Jinyoung remembered him despite not (probably) knowing his idol status, which was also nice, and what Jackson was truly after – someone knowing him and maybe at some point liking him without caring about his fame. It wasn’t something Jackson had experienced in quite some while, not since the beginning of his career.

Jackson waved exaggeratedly towards the cashier, an excited smirk spreading on his face as he willed for his plan to work. All the bother Jackson had gone through to arrange his escape here would be worth the reaction he could and would get out of Jinyoung as the shop assistant would maybe finally come to realize who Jackson was, and possibly still see Jackson in the same way, without getting starstruck. It was playing with fire, taking a lot of chances, but Jackson was rather rash sometimes. “Hello, it’s me again!”

The words Jinyoung spoke back at him were a standard polite store personnel greeting, but the look in the store clerk’s eyes was far from polite, and Jackson was really enjoying this too much. When Jinyoung didn’t say anything more, not even when Jackson arrived at the counter and planted his hands on it, Jackson opened his mouth again, letting his lips curve into a smirk. “So how has the signature been working, Jinyoung-ssi~”

The question was unnecessary, really, considering that Jackson knew exactly how well it had been received among his fans, but it was a conversation opener and also a way for Jackson to gauge how he had managed to avoid getting found out by Jinyoung. Of course, not already counting that Jinyoung might possibly be blind considering he hadn’t noticed that Jackson looks exactly like the person who stares back at Jinyoung from the walls of the store whenever Jinyoung would look up from the book he probably shouldn’t be reading while working anyway. Jackson tried to peer at the cover of the book to see what exactly Jinyoung was reading, but the shop assistant was quicker than he was, hiding the object under the counter. Afterwards, though, Jinyoung had no more excuse to look away from Jackson’s eyes, which was nice, as Jackson rather liked locking gazes with the sales clerk’s expressive, pitch black eyes.

“Yes, surprisingly, fans seem to love it. Are you happy, Jackson-ssi?” Jinyoung added obviously grudgingly, but Jackson was just happy to break out of the polite sales personnel speech pattern Jinyoung had tried to uphold with him, and get into the banter he had rather hoped to get out of the black-haired man. Jackson was also very pleased to hear his name fall from Jinyoung’s lips, completely without the admiration or polite fear or whatever Jackson usually got around people who weren’t Mark or his other long-time friends. Also, point made, Jinyoung had remembered his name without the fame being attached to it.

Jackson beamed at Jinyoung as widely as he could, going forward with his plan as at least so far, Jinyoung hadn’t recognized him despite the clothes. “I’m glad. So, I was thinking, could you take a picture of me with the stand-in?” As Jinyoung hesitated and looked around the shop, Jackson added, “There aren’t any other customers anyway, so how about it? Pretty please?”

Jinyoung sighed and deflated, agreeing probably just to be rid of Jackson faster, but that was alright. As Jinyoung rounded the counter Jackson took a few quick steps to walk to be able to walk to the stand-in side by side with the slightly taller man man, eyes taking in the perfect proportions of Jinyoung’s frame and gosh, was there anything that wasn’t perfect about him? Jinyoung had a perfect, handsome face, a soothing, low voice, beautiful eyes and absolutely gorgeous proportions. The Korean male was truly just like a male model out of a magazine, so of course Jackson just had to blurt, “Are you a model or something?”

Jinyoung did a double take at him before bursting out in loud laughter, one hand coming to hover over his mouth to hide his teeth although Jackson would have loved to see them, trying to find just one flaw to make sure Jinyoung was real and not a hallucination Jackson was having of a perfect man. Maybe that should be his new mission, although considering how the small imperfections Jackson could already see on Jinyoung’s skin did nothing to alleviate his opinion that Jinyoung was perfect, maybe it would be an impossible task.

The sides of Jinyoung’s eyes crinkled really attractively when he smiled truly, and it made all the difference to the polite customer service smile Jackson had been seeing mostly so far, except of course when Jackson had made the black-haired man frown and purse his lips at him. In any case Jackson loved Jinyoung’s true smile, although it made his chest feel tight.

“No, I’m not a model. Just a drama student and a shop assistant at NBA, I’m afraid.” Jinyoung finally answered after having his laugh, eyes sparkling as he glanced at Jackson, and Jackson felt warmth spread out from the center of his chest, the tight bundle not loosening.

“You totally could be, your legs are really long and your face is very handsome.” Jackson half flirted half stated matter-of-factly as they arrived by the stand-in. Jinyoung waved his compliment off with a hand, but Jackson didn’t mind, rather enjoying the slightly bashful expression. Moving forward with his plan, Jackson handed his smartphone in camera mode to Jinyoung before walking to stand next to the stand-in, waiting expectantly for an expression of dawning realization to appear on Jinyoung’s face as he draped his arm carefully over the shoulders of his more or less exact likeness. Jackson even strived to take on the same expression as he had on at the moment of taking this picture, a smoulder in his eyes and lips closed in a firm line.

But alas, no. Jinyoung simply raised the smartphone in front of him, took a couple of pictures and stated, “Wow, you really went for the twin look today, didn’t you, with the clothes and all. And I thought you weren’t a customer but just a fan who wanted to take pictures of their idol.”

Jackson’s face started to fall, but he didn’t have much time to react to Jinyoung’s disappointing words before the loud guffawing laugh of another person filled the space between them. Both Jinyoung and Jackson turned to look to the side, where another sales clerk was approaching them. This one had even longer legs than Jinyoung had, a lanky frame and stylishly overly long grey hair that was not quite long enough to hide the amusement flickering in his big, round eyes. With the way this new arrival had one eyebrow raised as he glanced between Jackson and Jinyoung, Jackson was sure there was no way he didn’t know who Jackson was.

“Oh my god Jinyoung-hyung you are so dense, but it’s okay, at least you’re good-looking.” The new boy smirked at Jinyoung, and Jinyoung let out an indignant complaint that sounded something like “yeah so I can’t know all the fandoms and fanboys, would you stop already”, but Jackson didn’t really listen to him as the Hong Kong idol was too busy staring at the new foreign? boy with his eyes wide in panic like a deer in the headlights, unable to run from his oncoming doom.

The grin on Jinyoung’s dongsaeng’s face was downright predatory when he directed it towards Jackson, but at least the mirth dancing in the boy’s eyes softened it up a little, giving Jackson some hope. “Hello Jackson-ssi, my name is Bambam. Would it be alright with you for me to take a picture together with you and the stand-in?”

Jackson understood from the smirk on Bambam’s face and the tactical choice of words that the picture was the price of the silence of Jinyoung’s friend. And it should be fine, what with Bambam obviously wearing the clothes of a NBA salesperson and Jackson in full NBA promotion mode, it would look like just a part of the promotions. So he nodded, and Bambam’s smile turned into a more friendly Cheshire cat’s grin. After a moment of fumbling around Jinyoung had naturally ended up in the role of the photographer again, Jackson’s smartphone exchanged for Bambam’s and Bambam moving to stand next to the Jacksons as they posed for the picture.

“I don’t think he’ll get it before you or someone else straight out lays it out to him.” The words were spoken quietly, but Jackson didn’t have to turn to check that Bambam had directed them at him, as they were almost a whisper clearly not meant to reach Jinyoung’s ears. Jackson was relieved. So it was certain now that Bambam did know who he was, and at least for now Bambam didn’t seem to have the intention to use it against Jackson, at least for more than getting a selfie with him, and that was a deal Jackson was ready to make.

“I’m surprised he doesn’t realize even with me posing with a picture of myself…” Jackson mumbled and Bambam let out a giggle, earning a glare from Jinyoung before the older shop assistant declared he was done taking photos. Bambam insisted that he needed to check them first before Jinyoung would be allowed to go, and Jackson was quietly thankful to the younger boy, taking any opportunity to spend some more time in Jinyoung’s company although he didn’t know how to, using the precious seconds by shifting awkwardly from one foot to another, as Jinyoung was mostly focused on glaring at Bambam, who was flicking through the photos with his nose crunched a little. Thankfully, maybe, Jinyoung’s dongsaeng deemed that none of the pictures were good enough and that ‘Jinyoung-hyung’ needed to snap a couple more.

Jackson absentmindedly wondered if Jinyoung was older or younger than him. Bambam was definitely younger, but with Jinyoung Jackson wasn’t quite sure. Jackson didn’t bother to stop to wonder why it even mattered, as they probably wouldn’t have the chance to get to a level of familiarity that would have them drop the formal ‘ssi’ for a ‘hyung’ or ‘ah’ anyway, although Jackson of course hoped they would. He was just a silly dreamer sometimes, a hopeless optimist when given a chance, although the world had taught him out of the worst of it a long time ago. So maybe he wanted a friend who didn’t care about his celebrity status. Maybe he would want even something more with Jinyoung, who knows. And maybe he would risk a lot because he was kind of crazy, and wanted to give whatever he could have with Jinyoung a try.

Anyway, leaning close with Bambam again, Jackson decided to put his neck out a little more to see if he could find a co-conspirator in Bambam, voice pitched low and quiet so that Jinyoung wouldn’t hear. “I’m sort of trying to get him to realize, but I don’t want to outright tell him, so, if you could keep my secret from him and not spread the picture before the promotions are over, I’d really appreciate it.”

Bambam hummed like he was thinking it over, but as Jackson spared him a side glance, the sparkle in the lanky boy’s fakely grey eyes revealed that he was more than up to the task. However, beneath the mirth there was an assessing tone in the younger’s gaze, like he was mapping out Jackson’s sincerity or intentions or something, and Jackson shifted on his feet awkwardly, until Bambam gave in or found what he was looking for, Jackson wasn’t sure which.

“Alright, if I also get you to comment on the post on ig after I post it. I’ll tag you of course.” A business arrangement, then. Jackson could deal with that, turning to hug the younger boy as Jinyoung announced that now he was really done with taking pictures, and if none of them were suitable, then Bambam could take the pictures himself and stop blaming his poor hyung.

“Alright, deal.” He said softly into Bambam’s ear, and the victory sign and happy smile he got as an answer confirmed that they were now partners in crime. A small win for Jackson. Maybe. He didn’t even know what he was doing.

Jackson rushed to Jinyoung’s side, boldly grabbing onto the arm of the man who still didn’t know who he was, tilting his head to the side and pulling on a cute face as he opened his eyes wide, noting happily how Jinyoung was startled but didn’t really attempt to pull back from his hold. Why did Jinyoung look so good up close anyway? It was unfair. “Did I look okay?”

Jackson could hear Bambam snort in the background, but he was more focused on the way Jinyoung was leaning slightly away as he got slightly flustered by Jackson’s closeness, struggling to find the words, something Jackson found totally adorable. Especially with how Jinyoung was obviously amused, his eyes doing that crinkling, smiling thing as he looked down at Jackson. “Um, yeah, I–”

“GAGA.”

Ah, damn. The party was over, he had been found.

Jackson guiltily let go of Jinyoung’s hand as he turned towards the voice, although he really did not have to look to know that his manager and long-time friend was standing by the entrance of the shop. It was also not a surprise that his friend’s usually so calm exterior would betray his fuming worry and anger now, all directed towards Jackson who had again snuck out without telling anyone. And, as Jackson had already known, there the American was, black beanie pulled over his honey brown hair, arms crossed over his chest as he glared at Jackson, and Jackson winced. Jinyoung was looking back and forth between them, confused, but Jackson didn’t dare to look at him anymore, having to focus his attention on his visibly frustrated friend.

“Oh hi Markie-hyung, you found me, uh, I was just leaving!” Jackson said in an overly happy voice, stepping away from Jinyoung at the same time as Mark took long strides towards him with his unfairly long legs to close the distance, grabbing hold of Jackson’s elbow the second the lanky brunette reached his protege.

“You better be. You’re lucky your location is not posted all over the social media right now, what with how you’re dressing.” Mark had switched to Chinese, knocking Jackson over the head and slinging an arm around his shoulders, holding him close, obviously having worried despite his scolding words. He switched back to his accented Korean as he gave a nod towards the sales clerks and apologized, “I’m so sorry for any trouble he caused, we’ll go now.”

“Bye Jinyoung-ssi, Bambam-ah!” Jackson threw over his shoulder, waving at the two men they were leaving behind, and trying to firmly press deep into his memory the confused expression on Jinyoung’s handsome face, and the furrow between his brows. Jackson was already planning his next escape, no matter how Mark chided him all the way back to the hotel, but that was just how he was, completely unable to give in.

It didn’t really make much sense, as there wasn’t any further that Jackson could go without straight out telling Jinyoung that he was the idol plastered all over the store, but Jackson wasn’t trying to explain it to himself. He was completely okay with mentally placing his fingers into his ears and ‘lalala’ing until his common sense would stop nagging him about why he was so eager to see Jinyoung again, if that meant he could justify doing it again.

Mark, unfortunately, was too smart for his own good (or maybe smart enough to justify why he had survived working with Jackson and being friends with him at the same time for all these years), since the LA boy wasn’t dumb enough to think Jackson wouldn’t try to go to the store again another time. Instead of trying to stop the persistent idol, Mark knew when to give in a little to keep hold of Jackson, and Jackson had to agree to plan with Mark when to go the next time and take the manager with him, or Mark would make sure there would be no chance for Jackson to escape the next time they’d fly back to Korea. No amount of puppy eyes or pouting changed Mark’s mind, the older way too used to Jackson’s antics, and Jackson knew when to pick his fights.

On top of being smart, Mark was also perceptive enough not to ask why Jackson was doing this, letting the singer and variety star delude himself that he wasn’t totally going out of his way and doing something extraordinary for the sake of seeing the face of one man.

Jinyoung had thought that with the last time, Jackson, the crazy fanboy, had gotten what he had wanted, and Jinyoung wouldn’t see him again. Jinyoung had also told himself he was fine with that, and that he wasn’t checking on Bambam’s social media more than usual to see if the Thai boy would post the picture Jinyoung had taken of him, the stand-in and Jackson. Bambam didn’t, which Jinyoung thought to be rather weird, but it must have been his fault for not taking good enough pictures, or something. It didn’t matter, right? No matter how much Jinyoung itched to ask Bambam for the pictures, he wouldn’t, since there was no good reason for him to want the pictures for himself, right?

Jinyoung had decided not to dwell on the matter, throwing himself into his studies instead, determined to keep his spot at the top of his class so he could graduate with the best grades this year. He had no time to think about some fanboy that had visited the store he worked at twice.

Yet, although weeks had gone by and Jinyoung had told himself he had given up on seeing Jackson again as the promos were ending, he couldn’t help the way his heart jumped in his chest when he saw Jackson skipping his way into the store on the last night of the promotions. This time the fanboy was wearing clothes more similar to the first time he had been at the shop, but what was different was that he was also trailed by the bright brown-haired friend of his, Mark? or something, who had picked him up last time and called him the first time. The slight feeling of jealousy Jinyoung had felt at how close the two seemed to be returned for absolutely no reason, considering that there wasn’t any sort of relationship between him and Jackson that would warrant him worrying about who was close to Jackson or not.

“Hiiiii again Jinyoung-ssi, miss me?” Jackson shouted happily as he approached, waving way too much, and Jinyoung couldn’t even summon his usual feeling of annoyance when he had to put his book away. It was silly, really.

Yes, Jinyoung’s heart wanted to answer, but his head was having none of that, choosing prickly banter instead. “Can’t say I have, it was much calmer while you were gone. What do you want this time?”

Jackson’s eyes were as pretty up close as Jinyoung remembered. The Chinese man leaned over the counter again to blink his eyes at Jinyoung, like that would get Jinyoung to fetch him the moon from the sky (and maybe it would, if Jinyoung could, but he was very realistically aware of his limits, and too proud to admit any such thing). But if Jinyoung would or wouldn’t didn’t matter anyway, because what Jackson ended up asking of him was not in his hands, impossible for him to fulfill although he would maybe want to. “Weeell, I was thinking, now that the promos are ending, could I get the stand-in? It has my signature on it after all.”

Jinyoung sighed, closing his eyes for just a moment, before opening them again as he tried to bear the weight of Jackson’s 100% effective puppy eyes that he still had to resist, or get fired. “I can’t, I told you the first time. Someone’s going to pick it up today, sorry.”

“Aw.” The pout on Jackson’s face was adorable, the way his bottom lip stuck out and there was a slight flush to his cheeks from where he had probably rushed into the store to bother Jinyoung. Jinyoung couldn’t help himself, Jackson was just too cutesy, so he reached one hand out to give Jackson’s shoulder an affectionate pat. It was way more familiar than he should ever get with a customer, and upon that realization Jinyoung retracted his hand as quickly as if it had been burned, although the light feeling in his chest let him know that he had rather liked the touch.

Jackson didn’t seem bothered by Jinyoung’s sudden familiarness, in the contrary, his pout changed into a wide smile, making Jinyoung’s stomach lunge in a way that couldn’t be healthy.

After that Jackson started pelting him with questions about his life and the occasional compliment on his looks. Surprisingly, Jinyoung found himself answering, too easily revealing details of his life and blocking the compliments by saying snarky things because that was how Jinyoung worked, whenever he liked someone he just couldn’t seem to say nice things. And Jinyoung was mature enough to admit to having taken a liking to Jackson, to the boy’s childlike enthusiasm and seemingly boundless happiness. Jackson was explaining random stuff that happened to him recently, like how he warmed a hot bun in the microwave in secret although he should be a diet, but had woken everyone with his shouts when he had bit into it because he had burnt his tongue on the hot insides, and it should be annoying or boring, but the way Jackson told it, it wasn’t. Jinyoung found himself laughing easily at Jackson’s stories, where Jackson always seemed to be playing the part of the fool for the sake of the amusement of others, and Jinyoung wondered absentmindedly what sort of things were hidden beneath Jackson’s easygoing exterior, beneath the mask of a funny fool Jackson seemed to put on for others.

Jackson’s friend stayed mostly silent by Jackson’s side, fiddling with his smartphone, only adding to the conversation when Jackson asked him for a word in Korean or on how some detail of the story he was currently telling was, and sometimes correcting the over exaggerated expressions Jackson used. Jinyoung found himself relaxing, chatting freely with Jackson although he had to keep shooting down the man’s maybe attempts at flirting down, or he would get way too flustered, and Jinyoung did not like not being in control of his emotions, the way Jackson seemed to so easily make him.

Jinyoung did not know for how long they had been talking, but apparently the clock had struck twelve and Cinderella was due to go back to reality, because suddenly Mark stopped Jackson in the middle of telling a story about how he had accidentally ordered too spicy food at a restaurant and spent the rest of the fancy dinner sweating and low-key dying by bluntly saying, “Okay, now, as fun as this game of yours is, Gaga, we don’t have all night, we have to get back to the hotel. Let’s take your stand-in and go.”

Jinyoung started to automatically protest (against taking the stand-in, not at Jackson having to leave, of course), but when faced with Jackson’s friend digging out what appeared to be a fancy business card sprouting the name of one Mark Yi-En Tuan and the logo of the company their manager had told would be coming to pick up the stand-in for the idol they had done the promotions with around closing time today, Jinyoung was suddenly at a loss of words.

Idol Manager, the card said.

Your stand-in, the man holding it had said to Jackson.

The way Jackson had acted the first time he had walked into the store, the way he had been surprised when Jinyoung had not recognized his name. The way Bambam had reacted to learning Jackson’s name, the way he had laughed at Jinyoung’s confusion. The scene last time, when Mark had come to pick up Jackson, like a worried babysitter finding the child they were taking care of missing, and how he was tailing Jackson like a chaperone now.

And oh, when it finally clicked, Jinyoung was so embarrassed he wanted the ground to open beneath him and swallow him. His gaze had moved over to stare at Jackson, his eyes probably betraying his realization, and Jackson’s cutesy protruding bottom lip only got fuller as the idol stuck it out more.

How had he not realized it before? Sure, Jinyoung never really paid attention to the changing promotions, but there were too many clues, and he had simply ignored them in favor of getting lost in the swirling dark chocolate of Jackson’s eyes.

Eyes that were staring at him warily now, obviously watching for his reaction and Jinyoung just. Needed to go.

“I see,” Jinyoung breathed out, something breaking and shriveling in his chest, but the calm mask on his face stayed on. “Just a moment, please.”

Jinyoung had a completely legitimate reason to briskly walk his way into the back room – he had taken the stand-in there as the day was almost over and they had started taking off the promotions material. But he didn’t walk over to where he had placed the stand-in when he got into the back room, instead collapsing onto the nearest chair and burying his face in his hands the moment the door closed behind him.

Bambam, of course, was alerted to the noise, and was immediately there to ask him what was wrong, and if he needed a painkiller or something. On any other day Jinyoung would feel fondness in his heart for the caring dongsaeng, but today he just felt cold, and empty, and incredibly stupid for not realizing earlier.

“He’s an idol, isn’t he?” Jinyoung asked with a thin voice, willing it to be unwavering.

At least to his consolation there was no real mirth in Bambam’s voice, only a pitying sort of amusement that told Jinyoung that Bambam wasn’t quite sure if the situation had gone too far, and he was trying to gauge how Jinyoung was feeling. Bambam was far too kind-hearted to be a proper trickster, too concerned about other people’s feelings to feel giddy over this development of events. He was too worried about Jinyoung maybe having gotten hurt more than the poor boy had intended, and Jinyoung knew at that moment that he couldn’t find it in his heart to be mad at Bambam, no matter what, although his petty mind would have wanted to pick out a scapegoat, someone to blame for how things had gone down without Jinyoung knowing.

It was his own fault for getting emotionally invested so quickly, anyway. No one had intended for this to be more than just a laugh over Jinyoung not having recognized the face of a celebrity, surely.

“Yeah, or more like, he’s the idol, you know? But, that doesn’t matter, uh… Are you okay?” Oh, bless Bambam’s soft heart. Just for his sake, Jinyoung took a deep breath and straightened, making himself feel the small smile that he brought up on his face, allowing his confusion to show but not wanting to make the Thai boy worried out of his mind for his sake. Jinyoung was going to be an actor. He could control his facial expressions.

“Yeah, just. Really caught me off guard, so I just feel bewildered and embarrassed, I guess? Would you mind taking care of giving the stand-in over to them? I don’t really want to show my face, I feel kinda awkward not having realized before, you know?”

Jinyoung wasn’t sure if his somewhat strong front convinced Bambam, but he was being honest, really. He was embarrassed, and he didn’t want to go back out there because he had no idea how to act now, or how his opinion of Jackson changed, or if it even changed now that he knew the man was famous, with probably thousands of fans ready to scream his name if he asked for it, or throw as much money at him as they could afford. What he didn’t want to reveal how much his chest ached, how confused he felt now regarding Jackson, and what he should do now.

Jinyoung didn’t know, and he didn’t like not knowing. So he took the coward’s way, hiding in the back room as Bambam agreed to take the stand-in out. Afterwards he made Bambam swear the manager and idol were gone before Jinyoung agreed to step out and help Bambam clean up the store so that they could go home for the night, truly acting ridiculous but at least Bambam didn’t press it.

Jinyoung told himself it was easier this way. That this way, he could just put this whole spectacle behind him, bury whatever embers of feelings had been about to catch fire in his chest deep, and maybe after some days he would be able to laugh along when Bambam would retell the story to their friends.

But like things had always seemed to go regarding Jackson so far, Jinyoung was not let off that easy. He had been surfing the internet on his smartphone later that night as he couldn’t seem to fall asleep, his thoughts far too restless. If anyone asked, he wouldn’t admit it, but he had been looking Jackson up, watching the man’s performances and interviews and finding out more things about him, trying to place these bits of information into the image of what he knew of Jackson. The (apparently) same-age boy had managed to tell him surprisingly much in their rather short moments of conversation, because Jinyoung already knew of Jackson’s long friendship with Mark, his intolerance for spicy food, and about his joyful and joking personality, that the idol seemed to use to the point of trying to cover his insecurities with it.

It all fit, and that made something ache within Jinyoung’s chest. He had gone looking for all this information knowing it was a little masochistic, looking at all these pictures and videos and pieces of information of now, but the hurt felt rather cleansing.

Unfortunately (or rather very, very fortunately), Jinyoung’s rather satisfying soak in self-indulgent pity was rudely interrupted by an incoming Kakao message from an unknown account.

justrelax852 : look im sorry i didn’t want u to find out like that, mark really ruined it…… i didn’t even have the chance to explain myself but really, im sorry and i understand if you’re mad at me rn but…
justrelax852 : please don’t hate me :(

Jinyoung stared at the screen for long seconds stretching into minutes, turning the words over in his head, trying to make sense of the turmoil he felt. He was getting his hopes up again, embers glowing hotter in the wind bringing them new oxygen to burn, and he knew it was no good.

He should have ignored the messages, blocked the account and went to sleep. It would have been the smart thing to do, the chain of actions that would have led to the least amount of pain and suffering and let-down expectations down the road. But Jinyoung didn’t do what would have been wiser and safer. He sent a short, simple message back, asking who the sender was, just to make sure.

justrelax852 : this is jackson……

justrelax852 : ((pls don’t sell this acct info on the internet i don’t want to make a new acct again))

A few more messages back and forth revealed that Bambam, that (savior) traitor had given Jinyoung’s contact information to Jackson after he had refused to come out of the back room again. Now that Jackson had the chance to explain himself that Jinyoung had not given him before, he explained that he had been honestly and pleasantly surprised when Jinyoung had not recognized him, and had wanted to know the sales clerk a bit better, but had not really known how to go about it. Jinyoung felt relieved, as Jackson’s words seemed genuine, and he didn’t seem to have tried to play Jinyoung or make a fool out of him. The idol seemed to have only both tried to see what it was like getting to know someone (for the first time in a long time) who wasn’t trying to get close to him because of his fame, and also to find out how far he could go without Jinyoung realizing that he was an idol. And really, if Jinyoung had entertained the thought just a little, he would have realized from the start that Jackson was more famous than just inside the fandom as a fanboy or fansite or whatever. But he hadn’t, and now they were in this situation. Jackson, however, seemed to be ready to put it all behind them, as long as Jinyoung would be fine with continuing like before.

After Jackson’s rambling explanation and profound apology for all and any offense and upset he had caused, and Jinyoung’s acceptance of said apology, Jackson went on to talk as casually as he had engaged Jinyoung in conversation before Jinyoung had found out who Jackson was, like nothing had happened. Jinyoung would have thought it to be weird, and at first he didn’t really know how to respond other than to read Jackson’s messages and answer whenever Jackson had any questions directed at him, but as the messages didn’t seem to stop over a couple of days, Jinyoung slowly, without really realizing it, relaxed and started engaging more in the conversation.

Without consciously noticing it, Jinyoung got used to talking to Jackson, even him mention stuff related to his idol life every now and then became normal – how the styling had taken forever this time or how he had been filming late – and Jinyoung found himself getting worried for the other boy’s sake quite often, learning soon that Jackson was pushing himself to do his best even when he was exhausted or sick. From his side, Jackson cheered Jinyoung on with his studies, and kept telling him to take care of his health no matter how many times Jinyoung called him a hypocrite.

Somehow, they grew to be tentative friends, finding things in common despite the differences in their lives; both of them held their family and friends in high value, both of them were ambitious regarding their more or less future career, and both of them were very supportive of one another reaching those dreams they were working so hard on. It was a comfortable friendship, and Jinyoung got the impression that Jackson didn't really have many to whom he shared his daily on-goings to. Jinyoung felt honored, but made sure to remind himself every so often not get ahead of himself. It was a casual and nice, convenient friendship, nothing more.

Still, Jinyoung felt warm whenever he would get messages from Jackson as the drama student was studying for his finals late into the night. Mostly they messaged during the night, after Jackson was done with his schedules, so Jinyoung was looking forward to those moments everyday. Sometimes Jinyoung would also get silly pics of food and sometimes even selfies during downtime Jackson spent in dressing rooms, and Jinyoung treasured the trust Jackson put in him for not spreading them.

(Jackson had anxiously scanned the social media sites after having sent Jinyoung the first selfie he hadn’t sent anyone else, so scared that he would find it leaked, but when none of the pics he sent to Jinyoung surfaced on the web later, Jackson relaxed and sent more with a lighter heart.)

(There was also the one time Jinyoung knew Jackson had a very exhausting filming, and he had sent a cheering up message for Jackson in the middle of it despite feeling weird and shy about it. Jackson had been on cloud nine, squealing in the back room for several minutes after reading the message and severely grating Mark’s nerves as the manager had desperately tried to get Jackson to focus on what the idol needed to be doing next.)

It had been barely a month since Jackson and Mark had come to pick the stand-in up (Jinyoung had gotten pictures of Jackson placing the stand-in at funny places at his apartment, they were absolutely hilarious), when Jackson sent Jinyoung a message telling him he would be coming over to Korea for some additional filmings, and suggested that they should meet up. Jinyoung had actually known that Jackson was coming, because without telling anyone, especially Bambam or Jackson, he had started to follow Jackson related news and thus had known of the filmings taking place in Korea, but he hadn’t expected the invitation to meet. Hoped for it, sure, but not expected it. Jinyoung felt like gushing about it, but his pride got in the way, and in his panic to hide his excitement about the prospect of meeting Jackson, Jinyoung ended up sending as a response a rather petty message wondering if Jackson could even go anywhere without a chaperone.

Apparently he could, and even though it seemed like Jinyoung was doing his utmost to make their friendship difficult with how it seemed like he could only ever get thorny words out whenever Jackson tried to do something nice towards him, Jackson was nothing if persistent. In the end they did arrange to meet despite Jinyoung’s protests, ranging from crazy fans to Jackson needing more sleep and rest into his schedule, not random meetings with acquaintances.

(Jackson had shot Jinyoung’s worries down by telling him he was an important friend now, and meeting him would make Jackson feel more energetic and happy than a couple of hours of more sleep. Jinyoung had tried to stop the bubbly, warm feeling rising in his stomach in vain.)

It was a hassle, meeting with a celebrity who was only growing in popularity and had plenty of people who were trying to follow him around and snap pictures no matter where he was at. Jinyoung had suggested just going to a grab a coffee and maybe something to eat at a café, but it turned out to be more difficult than he had thought. Jackson had to drive around in a taxi to lose fans off of his tail, and when he finally arrived at the café, it was late and in full disguise, and they had to sit at a table in the corner of the café, not by the windows like Jinyoung maybe would have wanted, but that would have been a too big risk for Jackson being noticed.

All the inconvenience hardly mattered though, because when Jackson finally stepped into the café and saw Jinyoung, he tipped back his snapback and smiled widely, and something skipped in Jinyoung’s chest. Jackson was visibly exhausted, but he grabbed Jinyoung’s hand over the table without further ado, and proceeded to insist he treat the drama student to anything he wanted, ordering food and tea for the both of them. Jinyoung tried to take his hand back when Jackson called the waiter over, but Jackson was having none of it, and listed their order without seemingly a care in the word that their fingers were completely visibly linked on top of the table, an action quite familiar for just two same-sex friends. Jinyoung wanted to hide his face with the glance the waiter gave their entwined hands, feeling bashful, but he knew this was just how Jackson was, touchy and affectionate and from a different culture, so if Jackson wanted to hold hands, then okay. Jinyoung liked it, anyway. Too much.

Jinyoung felt horribly bashful and nervous for about the first half an hour, his hand getting clammy in Jackson’s hold, but Jackson didn’t seem to mind. The Hong Kong man asked a lot of questions about how Jinyoung’s finals were going, and he answered dutifully, scolding Jackson when Jackson got all worried about the amount of sleep he wasn’t getting – “you’re one to talk, you look like you’ve just been raised from your grave” – and why was Jinyoung again saying something nasty when he got feeling all fuzzy and warm because of Jackson?

But although Jinyoung was unnecessary mean and snappy in his words, Jackson’s laugh was loud and warm, his eyes sparkling at Jinyoung and making him feel even more confused inside as his feelings welled to be much stronger and persistent than Jinyoung had thought. What he had thought to be just embers making a lot of smoke was a hungry fire, and Jinyoung’s attempts at tamping the flames down seemed only to be fueling them more.

A cold dump of water into reality was, however, when some fans found them on the street afterwards as they had decided to walk a bit outside as it was already dark and Jackson should have been somewhat safe from being recognized. They didn’t even really do anything, only trailed after them and asked if the person in Jackson’s company was a friend, how he knew him and so forth, holding up smartphones to record the interaction. Jinyoung pulled up the collars of his wool coat, feeling very self-conscious as Jackson gave vague answers of “he’s a friend” and “we’ve known for a while” and even a “I would appreciate it if you could leave us alone” that fell onto deaf ears.

“You know what, let’s take a taxi the rest of the way,” Jackson suggested at the next corner of the street when the fans made no move to go away and Jinyoung was still obviously stiff and uncomfortable by the continuing surveillance.

Jackson rushed to open the door for him although the driver had gotten out to do just that, and held a hand on Jinyoung’s back as Jinyoung got inside. The touch burned as Jinyoung was painfully aware of the cameras still filming, his insides in turmoil and chest tight with distress, thoughts racing as he wondered where those clips of video would end up at, what people would say, if a friend of Jinyoung’s would see the clips and come asking him about them.

But most of all, Jinyoung was wondering how on earth Jackson dealt with this sort of a thing every day.

Jinyoung observed Jackson’s face and body language as the sought-after idol sat down in the car and told the driver where to go. Jackson didn’t seem as stiff or distressed as Jinyoung was, but there was clear frustration in the tone of his voice and the line of his posture. The exhaustion Jinyoung hadn’t seen after Jackson had cheered up at the café was back again, weighing heavy on the brunette’s broad shoulders and obvious on his face when Jackson finally turned to Jinyoung to apologize for his fans.

Jinyoung brushed it off. “It’s fine, you don’t have to apologize, it’s not your fault.”

“It is though,” Jackson’s laugh was empty, a shadow of the bright laughter Jinyoung had heard before in the caféteria, “if it would not be for me, you wouldn’t have had to go through that.”

Jinyoung shook his head and placed rather boldly a hand on Jackson’s thigh, squeezing it comfortingly as he tried to get his message through. “It’s not. You didn’t ask to be followed around. Don’t you get tired of this? Having to hide and being recognized wherever you go?”

The sadness in Jackson’s smile broke Jinyoung’s heart. “It’s the price I have to pay for my dreams.”

The silence afterwards was heavy, Jinyoung’s hand remaining on Jackson’s thigh. After a moment Jackson rested his hand on Jinyoung’s, tracing the edges of Jinyoung’s fingers distractedly but not raising his face from where his gaze was fixed on the action, apparently having run out of words for once. Jinyoung wasn’t sure what to say either to lessen Jackson’s upset, but as the silence stretched on and grew to be too long and oppressive, Jinyoung opened his big mouth and blurted, “I wonder if an actor is a good choice of career for me after all.”

This, at least, made Jackson’s eyes snap back up to Jinyoung’s face. “Why? Because of the publicity and fans?” Jinyoung nodded hesitantly, and Jackson continued, “Yeah, that’s a part of it, if you get popular like I know you can and will. But I don’t think you should give up on your dream because of that. There are things we have to give up for the things we work hard for, right? So this is just something that being in the entertainment industry makes a bit more difficult, having a normal life that is.”

Jinyoung pursed his lips, but Jackson’s eyes were so sincere and his expression so serious, that Jinyoung knew his words were solemnly meant, and most likely true. And after all, Jinyoung had known from the start that if he became a popular actor there would be downsides to the fame. It was just that today for the first time he really understood what it meant, not even being able to have a dat– uh, a meeting with a friend without being worried about fans finding them and stalking them.

Deciding that Jinyoung needed some more convincing, Jackson entwined their fingers on his thigh and squeezed Jinyoung’s heart as a sincere, small smile spread on his lips, the surface of them looking so dark and inviting in the dim lighting of the taxi. “I know you will be good and reach your dreams if you are just ready to work hard for it. Actor Park, super famous first love of the country, the magazines will say. Believe me.”

Jinyoung squeezed Jackson’s fingers before flipping his hand so he was holding Jackson’s hand properly instead of holding onto his rather muscular thigh, nodding again. His voice was lower and heavier than it should have been as he answered, “Okay, I do.”

Jinyoung’s eyes were lowered to their hands, but he could still see the brightness of Jackson’s smile from the corner of his eye, and he told himself it was nothing, although he could feel the flames licking at his chest. They would leave only ashes behind when they would finally die from their own impossibility, but maybe Jinyoung had accepted that eventuality already.

Whatever videos or pictures were taken that day of Jinyoung and Jackson on an evening stroll, they didn’t become a big enough thing for Jinyoung to see them on his usual sources of fandom on-goings and news. However, the selfie Bambam had taken with Jackson and the stand-in was still going around, resurfacing after Jackson had posted on Weibo one of the pictures he had sent Jinyoung earlier, the one with his stand-in hidden in his toilet at Shanghai apartment. Jinyoung felt warm inside knowing it was the one he had said he had found the funniest, but of course, he didn’t know how to express this happiness to Jackson, always so at loss when it came to kind words regarding their relationship.

They continued sending messages although they both were busy, Jinyoung with the last of the work he needed to do before he would graduate and Jackson with his comeback preparations. At some point they went for days without really talking, just sending pictures of whatever they were doing at the moment and answering with emojis or other pictures hours later. Frankly, Jinyoung was quite surprised with how much effort Jackson was putting into their friendship with how busy he knew the Chinese superstar was, but he couldn’t deny he liked it although he had already admitted to himself that he would have wanted to have something more, something impossible with the brown-haired, warm-eyed, kind and wonderful bundle of joy of a man from Hong Kong. But Jinyoung settled for what he could have, and if he could bring even a little more happiness to the hard-working man’s life by being his friend even while Jinyoung’s own feelings were left unaddressed, Jinyoung thought it was worth it.

The day of Jinyoung’s graduation ceremony came. Jackson wasn’t there, but how could he? The Chinese idol was in the middle of filmings and would definitely have been recognized if he had appeared at Jinyoung’s university, so it wasn’t possible. Anyway, Jackson sent him encouraging messages with way too many emojis beforehand, and Jinyoung’s family was there for him, so Jinyoung was content. He had gotten enlisted by an agency and had parts as extras at a couple of different movies and one small appearance in a drama lined up, so he was quite well off for a recent graduate who had no true experience from acting before. Jackson was so proud of him of course when Jinyoung told him later that day, insisting that they do a video call when he was free later.

Jinyoung almost fell asleep waiting, but it was worth seeing Jackson’s tired face in the grainy and dark video his laptop was able to send in the dim lighting of his apartment. Jinyoung was trying to downplay his achievements of graduating at the top of his class and being enlisted by such a good and respected agency, but Jackson was hyped, insisting they celebrate whenever Jackson would be in Korea and could get the time off.

Jinyoung hadn’t expected Jackson to call him the following week, asking him for his address, explaining that his flight had landed in Incheon not even ten minutes ago, and bluntly telling Jinyoung he was coming over.

There had been no warning, no schedule in Korea and no pictures from the airport like there usually was when Jackson was scheduled to fly between the countries. Jinyoung spent the hour and half Jackson took to get from the airport to Jinyoung’s apartment building running to the convenience store to get some other groceries than just instant ramen, and to clean up his apartment although it was already fairly organized, having no time to wonder why on earth Jackson was in Korea, and why he was insisting on coming to Jinyoung’s place anyway if he had a sudden schedule or something.

It was an absolutely absurd feeling, opening the door to his studio apartment to see Jackson standing behind it, eyes sparkling and mouth in a wide smile, carry-on luggage in one hand and a completely oversized bottle of champagne and a box apparently containing cake balanced on the other. Jackson greeted Jinyoung cheerfully and stepped in without further ado, blowing into Jinyoung’s life like a gust of wind throwing everything out of place as he set his extravagant gifts on Jinyoung’s dining table, looking completely out of place on it’s scratched and rather dull surface. But Jackson didn’t seem to notice the dissonance or maybe he didn’t care, taking off his outerwear and hanging it casually onto Jinyoung’s coat rack like it had always belonged there.

When Jackson turned to Jinyoung, congratulations flowing from his full lips and happiness sparkling in his eyes Jinyoung just couldn’t take it anymore, his feelings overwhelming him, demanding more from him than he would dare to give. Throwing caution, dignity and unnecessary pride to the wind Jinyoung went and pulled the shorter man into a firm hug, pressing the side of his head against Jackson’s as Jackson easily hooked his jaw over Jinyoung’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around Jinyoung’s waist.

Jackson melted into the embrace, humming contently as Jinyoung held onto him harder. The remains of Jinyoung’s sense were making an attempt at calculating how long he could hold onto Jackson before it would become weird, but for now, Jinyoung and Jinyoung’s heart didn’t care. It was alright to hug in this situation, he had just received a congratulations and Jackson had just arrived in Korea after being away for weeks, so. That was it. Jinyoung was thankful that Jackson was here now, so immensely happy to see the man from Hong Kong, and just so overwhelmed that he tried for once to say something nice when he really needed to, trying to just once not fall back on being prickly as a defense.

Nothing eloquent was coming out though, so Jinyoung ended up saying simply “thank you for coming.” Not even a ‘nice to see you’, but. He had tried. It had already taken a lot of effort to say that much, voice wavering slightly from the emotional weight on the words as the flames burned and his heart squeezed in his chest. This is why he usually never said things like these. It felt like he would combust. It was much easier to just thwart the subject.

Jackson’s slight chuckle was delightful to hear and even nicer to feel as vibrations of his chest, pressed against Jinyoung, and Jinyoung never wanted to let go although he knew the moment was coming to a close.

Jinyoung was not sure if he imagined the way Jackson nuzzled his face into Jinyoung’s shoulder or not before the shorter boy let go of Jinyoung and took half a step back, smiling brightly. “My pleasure.”

Jinyoung’s eyes had slipped downwards from Jackson’s warm eyes to fixate on how Jackson traced his tongue over his peachy lips in what almost seemed like a nervous manner, so he didn’t see the determined glint Jackson’s eyes took. Suddenly the grip the Hong Kong idol held of Jinyoung’s biceps tightened slightly, before Jackson got onto the balls of his feet and planted a quick peck on Jinyoung’s full lips. And Jinyoung didn’t see any of it coming, because despite all of his smarts, Jinyoung was still so blind to some things.

Safe to say, Jinyoung was more than slightly taken by surprise, and totally thrown off the loop by Jackson’s action, his brain blaring alarms and straining to catch up as he took hasty steps back, one hand coming to cover his lips while his eyes were fixated on the adorable flush spreading on the apples of Jackson’s cheeks.

What the fuck had just happened and why?

It had been a spur of the moment thing, like a lot of Jackson’s actions seemed to be when it came to Jinyoung, done without consulting common sense or what was the wise chain of actions in the long run. But it must have been inevitable, because this impulsiveness seemed to be a constant in every action Jackson had done so far to get closer to Jinyoung, from visiting the store several times when Jinyoung still didn’t know who he was to pleading Bambam for Jinyoung’s contact information when he had found out, and finally to flying over today. Jackson could have used the meager two days he had off from his schedules to visit his parents or rest after an exhausting stretch of work done for his comeback and the preparations for all the shows that were awaiting him after, but no. Instead Jackson had come to Seoul with no real plan, just a suitcase with his overnight things and a vague idea of getting his usual hotel, plus some congratulatory gifts purchased from the airport to make his excuse for seeing Jinyoung more plausible.

He had just really, really wanted to see Jinyoung, although it had only been a couple of weeks since the last time.

So like everything Jackson had done regarding Jinyoung so far, he had just impulsively surged forward when he had deemed it suitable and given the peck to Jinyoung’s lips, throwing caution to the wind like he were invincible and unable to get his heart broken if this turned out for the worst. Which was far from the truth, because never had he ever been so scared of being rejected, since for some reason Jackson could explain, the things he felt for Jinyoung were stronger and made him vulnerable than any romantic feelings he had held for anyone else before.

Assessing Jinyoung’s initial reaction, Jackson wasn’t quite sure if the risk he took was paying off or not, because although the flush of Jinyoung’s ears and face was rather promising, especially with how gingerly Jinyoung was touching his lips where Jackson’s had been touching his just a moment before, the first words out of Jinyoung’s mouth were rather… discouraging.

“You can’t just kiss someone on the lips, Jackson!!”

Jackson puffed out his bottom lip, crossing his arms in front of himself as he tried to regain some composure. He didn’t knowing where he stood now with Jinyoung’s reaction, but it was too late to back out anyway, so he kept pushing forward. “You’re not just anyone! Do you think I give out my contact information out to ‘just anyone’? Message ‘just anyone’ every single day? Take ‘just anyone’ out for coffee? Hold hands? Fly to another country just to meet ‘just anyone’?”

Jinyoung’s hand finally dropped from his mouth, full lips hanging open as he gaped at Jackson, something like aggravation flashing in his beautiful black eyes as he latched onto only a part of the information Jackson had tried to convey. “You flew over to Korea just for me? What are you, insane? That’s expensive, and you should be resting, not flying more if you have extra time!”

So much for thankfulness, Jackson figured. But it was just like Jinyoung to get worried over him instead of saying something nice, so Jackson simply shrugged, giving a tight smile. He rubbed a hand nervously over his own bicep as he wondered whether he had made a mistake after all, feeling small.

“It’s up to me what I do on my free time and with my money, isn’t it,” Jackson said softly.  Jinyoung’s scoffed and Jackson could see that the younger man wanted to argue more and stress that Jackson needed to put his health first. Thankfully though Jinyoung decided otherwise, returning back to his original topic of frustration instead, which was also the subject Jackson very much wanted addressed so he would know how Jinyoung felt about him.

“Jackson, but what I meant was that you can’t just kiss someone on the lips– it’s a boyfriend thing, not a friend thing.”

“Well what if I want us to be boyfriends?” Jackson blurted in frustration, gesticulating with his arms, slightly offended that the possibility apparently hadn’t even crossed Jinyoung’s mind. His voice had risen in half panic half annoyance with both in pitch and volume, adrenaline taking over because he had just completely revealed his cards now, baring his heart for Jinyoung to do whatever he wanted.

“Why on earth would you want that?? You’re an international superstar with hoards of fangirls and boys and tons of good-looking co-stars you could choose from, why on earth would you want to be with me? That makes no sense!” Jinyoung’s voice was borderline hysterical too, his usually so calm exterior distorted into something like anguish. His words, however, gave additional strength to Jackson, although not by giving the older confidence in his confession, but rather because of the irritation he felt with Jinyoung questioning both himself as a choice and Jackson’s sincerity.

“You think I’m joking? I’ve been courting you for months now Park Jinyoung, don’t tell me who I can or can’t like.” Jackson fumed, hands clenched into fists at his sides, shoulders rising and lowering as he drew a deep breath before biting out between gritted teeth, “So will you, or will you not?”

“What?” Jinyoung asked, eyes wild, and Jackson willed himself to push forward, to get the words out that he was afraid to say now that this evening had started much differently than he had hoped.

“Be my boyfriend?”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened in shock, onyx orbs hidden under lids briefly several times as Jinyoung took in Jackson’s words, soft pink lips opening slightly as a breath Jackson couldn’t hear but could imagine escaped from between them. At least Jackson didn’t have to imagine their softness anymore, because they had been exactly like he had imagined, plump, soft and strong against Jackson’s even in just that brief peck he had stolen before everything had gone awry.

Focused on the movement of Jinyoung’s lips, Jackson missed the “fine” that was half whispered in the silence between them.

“What did you say?” Jackson snapped a bit too harshly as he drew his attention back to Jinyoung’s eyes, trying to fight the urge to kiss those delicious lips again as he was trying to resolve this situation so they would at least know where they stood afterwards.

“I SAID FINE.”

Upon looking up at Jinyoung’s eyes Jackson noted that the handsome man was flushing from embarrassment, eyes conflicted and shoulders heaving much like Jackson’s were, and he realized both of them were on the edge, anxious. The whole situation was ridiculous now – did they just have a fight which result was that they were boyfriends? Had Jackson understood it correctly now?

Jinyoung looked as confused as Jackson felt, frustration slowly seeping away from his frame as the two of them stared at one another as the terse silence stretched on.

Jackson didn’t know who moved first, but suddenly his cap was flying onto the floor as Jinyoung’s fingers had come up to flick it off, and Jackson’s hand was making its way into the slightly taller man’s soft, unbleached hair, mussing it and tugging softly on the strands. Their lips met in the middle, Jackson’s dry and full lips moving against Jinyoung’s plump and soft ones, the kiss deepening quickly as Jackson tilted his face up and to the side. His other hand was clutching on the sweater of the arm Jinyoung had slung around his waist to pull him close, still not fully understanding what was happening, but sure as hell enjoying it. The kiss was soft, hot and wet, plump lips explored by pliant and curious tongues, sharp teeth coming to nip at bottom lips just to change it up a little every now and then. Jackson was noisy, humming into the kiss as Jinyoung sucked on his bottom lip and Jackson swallowed the sigh Jinyoung let out when Jackson tugged on his black locks of hair gently.

Jackson was pretty sure it was Jinyoung who was the first to align their hips so that he could press a thigh between Jackson’s thighs, but it was definitely Jackson who was the first to grind their hips together lightly, just to test the waters but not doing anything more than that. They parted for breath, hot puffs of air breathed on each other’s damp lips as they took the moment to take in the picture. Jackson let out a breathy, giddy laugh, suddenly overwhelmed by how happy he was feeling now that he had Jinyoung this close, and for himself. Jinyoung kissed the sound off of his lips, but from the way his eyes had crinkled into the whiskers Jackson so loved, he was quite sure the younger was feeling quite happy too.

They took their time, alternating between peppering kisses over each other’s faces and mapping out each other’s mouths with their tongues, at the same time in no hurry and doing everything like this were their last moment on earth. They talked about what would happen now and where they stood with one another, Jinyoung expressing uncertainty over dating a celebrity and Jackson swearing he would do everything so that the baggage of his fame would get as little in their way as possible. Still, things stood so that they lived in different countries, both seeking intensive, a lot of time requiring careers with irregular schedules, and them being together wouldn’t be easy no matter what.

“I think it’s worth it,” Jackson whispered as he brushed back Jinyoung’s black hair behind his ear where they were laying on the bed with all their clothes on, just staring at one another from up close. “It won’t be easy, but I would regret it so much if I wouldn’t give our relationship a try and my utmost effort. I would forever keep wondering what we could have had if I just would have done more.”

Jinyoung hummed, closing his eyes as Jackson lightly traced fingertips around the Korean male’s ear, before opening them again and smiling so softly and carefully. They were holding hands in the space between them, fingers entwined, and Jinyoung’s thumb was gently brushing over the back of Jackson’s palm.

“So let’s not wonder.” Jinyoung’s voice was both soft and strong, fond but determined. “It’s worth a shot. You’re worth getting my heart broken over, if that’s how it’ll end up like.”

Jackson’s laughter was light. He shuffled closer to his new boyfriend to place a tender kiss on those deliciously kiss-swollen lips, lingering because he could, enjoying the way Jinyoung pressed back and opened his lips just slightly to run a tongue over the surface of Jackson’s lips. Jackson knew both his eyes and voice were a bit watery, but it hardly mattered. He felt so helpless in this love, having given his fragile heart for Jinyoung to hold and simply trusting the younger to hold it gently.

“I rather suspect it would be me getting my heart broken, but be as it may. Even just this moment would be worth the pain.”

Jinyoung punched his arm gently, calling him a romantic fool and kissing him silent for saying such cheesy words (despite having said quite cheesy words himself).

Jackson had a feeling that despite the odds against them, they would be alright.

And they were.

Like Jackson had said, it hadn’t been easy. There were times when they were apart for a long time, and when they had the possibility to see each other, it was only for a short time, and it wasn’t a normal kind of a dating relationship, mostly due to Jackson’s fame, but that had been something they had known and had to accept from the start. It mostly meant that they had dates out very rarely, with how difficult it was to be out with Jackson without being noticed and trailed, so they met at Jinyoung’s apartment instead, or at Jackson’s hotel, and when Jinyoung’s acting jobs had really started to work out for him, he flew over to China to stay over at Jackson’s apartment for some days. Mostly though for the first few years, they simply sent a lot of messages every day, called and did video calls regularly, putting the effort in keeping up the relationship despite the distance working against them.

It was safe to say that another reason they rarely met in public was that whenever they had a moment to actually be physically there for one another… Well, they wanted to get physical with one another. After the first time Mark had been locked out of the hotel room he had booked with Jackson (as had been normal up until then) for hours, the manager and best friend was smart enough to invest in always booking Jackson a hotel room of his own if the idol and variety star had not already informed him that he would be spending the whole time over at Jinyoung’s place. Just for Mark’s own sanity.

When Bambam had found out of their relationship (which had happened rather soon, like the Thai boy had been expecting it or something and thus looked for the signs) he insisted he would be Jinyoung’s best man at the wedding. Jinyoung tried to inform his dongsaeng that he had long since promised that spot for his childhood friend Jaebum (Jinyoung was really glad how much of a no-bullshit attitude Jaebum had towards Jackson, threatening to break his nose if he hurt Jinyoung. Jackson took a liking to him immediately), but the words fell onto deaf ears.

Jinyoung became a renowned actor, getting his own share of the problematic fame, but not being so shocked by the side effects of it after having seen them for years with Jackson. There were a lot of rumours over the years about them, but thankfully for them, they managed to keep their relationship secret for a long time, even after having bought a flat together in Seoul (where Jackson only managed to spend half his time). They became a publicly known pair only seven years after they had met, when Jackson decided the best way to propose to Jinyoung was very publicly at a year-end award show they both had been invited to attend and had agreed to be somewhat discreet at.

Well, Jackson had told a white lie, but it was really only for the sake of his emotional proposal in the midst of his award acceptance speech. It was the talk of the week, magazines and netizens going crazy about it, but all in all, the general opinion seemed to be that they were well matched, a handsome pair that perfectly complimented one another.

It was nice, too, that after that they could openly hold hands in public without worrying about it afterwards.

Despite Jinyoung’s protests, Jackson managed to get his way, and the stand-in Jackson had come to ask for him to give all those years ago was proudly on display at their wedding, and he retold their story for everyone to Jinyoung’s embarrassment.

Jinyoung had Jackson make it up to him that night though, so it was all alright, in the end.