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Mako steadies her breathing as she tries to fall asleep.
Going to sleep is not something Mako enjoys. Not even now. It’s bad enough that one time Newt mentioned a serum that would let someone stay away for days without any ill effects and she lit up. Now he still teases her about it. She’s used to pushing herself, after all office work doesn’t require too much sleep. jaeger piloting does though and Raleigh is firm that she has to.
things have gotten better since he started sleeping above her.
Her bunk bed is standard issue, but there was never anyone in the top. Now there is. She likes having him there. He’s explained that the physical closeness, the desire for it, it’s a side effect of the drift. Even if there’s a practical reason, this is one battle Mako finds she does not want to fight. They want to be in the same room and she’s more settled in her space. If she had been in the top bunk she would have moved for him, but as it is she’s didn’t have to make him uncomfortable, even if they both know the reason he wants to be on the top bunk.
she’s quietly meditating, willing herself not to dream, or at least not to dream too horribly. Her breathing is steady, it’s even. It matches Raleigh and to anyone else it looks like she’s sleeping. They’ve said goodnight and she can hear him shift slightly on his right side, getting more comfortable before he drifts off.
"Ashiteru," he whispers into the darkness and her eyes snap open.
she barely manages to keep her breathing steady as she looks up at the bed. She wants to believe she heard wrong but she knows she didn’t. He’s almost asleep, close enough that heً’s not self conscious about his accent. The way he says it is so pure and honest and meaningful she knows it’s directed at her.
Her fingertips reach up and gently press against the mattress, light enough so she hopes he doesn’t feel it. They aren’t there yet. they both know how the other feels, they’ve felt it themselves. Everything is laid bare in the drift. But when they aren’t drifting, when they aren’t drifting there’s a world out there. With complications and expectations and so much weight Mako sometimes feels like she cannot breathe.
In the drift the barriers are gone. Language, societal, all of it is gone. In the drift she knows how he feels and she can show him how she does. Without the words that never seem to come out right. But out in the world they haven’t acknowledged it. Mako thinks its fear holding them back. She’s used to being afraid, but she doesn’t like it at all. Her hand curves along the dip in the mattress made by his hip as she tries to communicate what she doesn’t know how to say.
"Ashiteru," he repeats and her fingers tighten when she realizes he’s awake and he knows she is too.
She feels him move and she sits up. In the darkness he looks almost imposing, but she doesn’t feel any fear towards him. Just at the change that’s happening to them. He looks at her, emotion naked on his face and Mako feels like she’s on the edge of a cliff.
"I love you," he says, bringing himself down so they’re the same height.
he doesn’t invade her space, he just holds her gaze and Mako knows this is do or die time. She moves forward before her mind can catch up. But as she does she feels calmer. Like she isn’t on the edge of the cliff alone. He steps aside as she pushes herself to her feet. One of her hands reach out and press against the thin fabric of his tank, feeling the rapid pace of his heart. His eyes trail from her hand to her face as she looks at him.
"Ashiteru," she whispers finally, "I’m sorry I could not find the words before."
his face breaks into the biggest grin she’s seen. One of his hands reaches out and gently wraps around the back of her neck. His forehead ducks and presses to hers, like it did the day they sealed the bridge. Mako wonders how it is possible to be so elated and so thrilled at the same time.
They stand in the darkness breathing the same air, sharing the same space. It’s like they’re in the drift. She can feel everything he does, as clearly as if his emotions were her own. His relief washes over her as the words hang between them. Gently, tentatively she moves her head. He follows seamlessly, shifting with her until their lips meet.
it isn’t explosive or passionate. It’s sweet, bordering on gentle. There’s something tentative about it as well, they’ve felt the other kiss but there’s something different about feeling it with your own lips. His hands slip from her neck to her waist as hers wrap around his shoulders. She finds she could kiss him forever. Finally though they pull back and look at each other.
"we should sleep," she says to him finally.
"You always gotta be so practical?" he asks, his smile taking on a teasing edge.
"Yes," she replies, but makes no move to separate herself.
"Do you want to talk about this?" he asks finally.
"No point," she says and can’t help but smile, "in two hours you’ll be in my head."
He grins at that.
"two hours?" He shakes his head, "yeah, we need sleep," he says.
His hand remains on her as they walk the few steps over to the bed. He waits until she settles herself on her bottom bunk before he climbs up to his. She sinks into the sheets and smiles faintly, turning her face into the pillow to hide it.
"Hey Mako?" He calls down to her.
"Yes?" She says.
"Ashiteru."
"Ashiteru, Koibito."