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“I’m so into cats these days.”
The shooting went well. After wrapping up, they went on with their other schedules. But what Martin said lingered in his mind through out the day. Surprisingly, it stayed in his mind even after coming back to Korea. Being done with shit load of performances, schedules, interviews and their own tour, Cortis finally got some days off. It was supposed to be peaceful. That’s what he thought they would be too. He even went out to spend some quality time alone. But that fucking thought kept echoing in his mind.
It was late at night when he came back to the dorm. He was out the whole day, trying to keep his thoughts from drifting. Fans always compared him to a cat right? Is that how it is- It felt ridiculous to even consider it as a possibility. It almost felt delusional. Upon entering, he saw the very person responsible for his inner turmoil sitting on the couch with the MacBook open infront of him and headphones on. James sighed.
“Its quite late, Martin.” He plopped himself next to the boy on the couch, kind of startling him. He was too tired to move now. The couch felt like a cloud at the moment. The day filled with too much activity was catching upto him.
“Oh you’re back hyung.” Martin glanced at the corner of his screen, eyes scanning the time. 11:42pm. “it is quite late I guess.” He mumbled quietly. He turned to look at James who’s now trying to fight the sleep taking over his body. “Tired?” Martin asked him gently, a smile creeping up on his face. His hyung’s ability to fall asleep anywhere is kind of funny. He got a sleepy hum in reply. “You wanna sleep here?” he questioned. A hint of amusement clearly evident in his tone.
That made James turn to him. The man’s barely open eyes stared at his face directly. The thought that tormented him lit up in James’s mind again. “Why are you into cats Martin?” he asked. His mind so hazy with sleep to even comprehend what his mouth just said. The question came out of nowhere. It made Martin let out a loud laugh. “Where did that even come from?”
James squinted his eyes. Glaring at Martin. Or that’s what he thought it looked. Because to Martin, the look was far from what a glare is. He looked sulky or pouty even. His face had its own autonomy apparently. The glare came in with his lips forming a beak subconsciously. “remember the interview? Or whatever it was. You said so yourself.” That rang a bell in Martin’s head.
“Uh that? It’s just that they keep popping up in my fyp these days hyung and they’re cute. Why are you asking about that right now though?” the boy answered honestly. He’d be lying if he said he knew why the topic was up for a debate. It happened weeks ago. His algorithm isn’t even showing much cat videos these days either. So why now?
The answer made sense. A sane James would agree to that too. But right now, he felt moody. ‘I’m cuter though’ he thought, his sleep deprived mind played tricks on him. “Is that all?” he tried to sound firm. But it came out sulky again. ‘Not because I look like one? Not because you’re into me?’ Oops. Traitorous brain.
Martin bit his lip to keep himself from smiling too wide. This has to be one of the most blessed moments of his life. Because why on earth is James being like this infront of him? Of all people? Then again what does he even mean?
“What else would there be hyung?” he asked. That made James scoff. He turned his body towards Martin. His face crumpled at the question. It really made him look like a cat. The expression hit straight into Martin’s heart like an overloaded truck of adorableness. ‘He’s too damn cute. Fuck.’ “Do you want to raise one?” James shot back. The tone of his voice and his facial expression were clearly challenging him. Whether to yes or no, Martin needs to figure that part out. So he stayed silent for a moment.
“Maybe somewhere in the near future. I don’t know.” The reaction was instant. Martin thought he looked like a cat moments ago but currently the man looked like he’s competing against a duckling. The pout got bigger and more pronounced. “Why a cat of all pets?” James said, irritated. Then the realisation dawned on him. A memory clicked in his head the very second. ‘I don’t really like cats. I prefer big dogs instead.’ Is James sulking because of an imaginary cat Martin owned? Did he really? He wanted to test the theory before getting ahead of himself. He saw James successfully failing to fight the sleep off. He was trying hard to keep looking at Martin. But his head kept bopping up and down.
“Right now?” his voice made James look up. He tried to sit up straight and continue to glare. “I think I have one.” James’s eyes shot open. “What? When? Where? Why didn’t anyone tell me?” his voice raised an octave. Very high pitched. He started to look around to find his enemy. Was this even about the cat anymore? You’d think he’s too drunk with the way he’s acting. Jealous of a cat? Really? Fuck the fan theories.
“My cat is sitting right next to me hyung.” That made James stop looking around. His head turned to him in an instant. “he’s a bit mean you know. Bossing around and shitting on me at any opportunity he gets. But if you look closely, it’s just his way of showing affection. Kind of twisted if you ask me.” He continued, looking straight into James’s eyes. The said man froze. He was too stunned to speak. Does this count as a confession? No. Does James take this as one? Hell yeah. He sputtered. Unsure of what to say.
“I don’t know if I’m sure about this but I’ve always been a dog person hyung.” He chuckled slightly. “I don’t know where this liking for cats started. I don’t think I can pinpoint the moment it started but I can say it was because of you. Maybe my liking towards you extended to them because I’ve seen too many comparisons and they started reminding me of you.” Whatever remained sleep that was trying to possess him completely vanished the second Martin uttered those words. James was wide awake now. The boy was looking at him like he created an entire new woojoo (universe).
James didn’t know what to say. He scraped the last sane brain cells to form a proper sentence. But he ended up saying something stupid. Not very on brand of him. He was supposed to be the witty one. “I like big dogs because of you too.” He said. Eyes wide as saucers. Very brilliant. “the only difference is the height.” Of course. A very intellectual tiktok reference. It’s not as if it’d need a screen time of an unemployed fool. Maybe Martin was too chronically online despite trying to have a digital detox. He laughed out loud. He didn’t care what the other members or the manager just a few meters away would think. They’re probably sleeping anyways. Because did he hear what he thinks he just heard?
“Really?” his smile would reach mars if it tried, he was cheesing hard. James turned his head away. Refusing to look at the boy. His ears betrayed him. Martin raised his hand, gently wrapped it around James’s. He carefully tugged the hand. That made James fall sideways, closer to him. He supported his body weight on his elbow. He looked up to see Martin staring at him. Martin leaned a bit intending to lower the gap. His breath brushed James’s forehead. “I guess it’s the right time.” Martin whispered inching a bit more close to bump their foreheads together. “Time for what?” James whispered back. His heart racing. Maybe the sleepy shit he did worked. Maybe? He dared to hope.
“Time to say that I like- no I love you. Always did. Will do in the future too.” He sighed. James stopped breathing. Love? His brain short circuited. Martin helped him sit up properly. The moment his back straightened, Martin pushed the MacBook off and pulled him straight into his arms. James’s face landed on Martin’s shoulder. The arms around him locked into a tight grip. “You don’t have to say anything. Or nothing at all. Just don’t push me away hyung. I’ll be fine just orbiting around you.” He mumbled quietly. That made James’s heartache. How can this stupidly tall lamppost say shit like that.
“I just said I like big dogs because of you.” James pulled back. Enough to look straight into Martin’s eyes. His arms flew around the boy’s neck. He shifted closer making their noses brush together. “Martin-ah,” he whispered. The boy let out a low hum in response. “there’s no way I’d push you away when all I wanted is to be closer to you.” He confessed. The weight in his heart shifted slowly. “I’m sorry if I couldn’t really express it the right way. But i-” he moved back again. He wanted to see the boy’s face. “I like you. I can’t call it love yet. But if I ever do love someone. I want it to be you.”
It was as if the time slowed just for the two of them. Martin fell on to his back dragging James down with him. “So what now?” James asked resting his chin on Martin’s chest. The boy shifted onto his side. He wriggled around to make space for both of them. He wrapped an around the shorter one’s waist, easily pulling him into his embrace. A hand landed on James’s face, tilting it up. Martin left several pecks on his face. “We can be whatever you want us to be. Even a cat or a dog.” James laughed quietly. “No animals needed. Just be my boyfriend Martin-ah.”
A smile bloomed on Martin’s face. “You started it first. But yes, I will. Just let me be yours.” With that he kissed James. All the yearning evident in the way he kissed him. James pulled him closer by the neck. Even the littlest distance felt offensive. They kissed for a long time. Until their lungs gave out. “You probably need to wash up.” Martin whispered against his nose. James whined. Literally whined. Which made Martin’s amusement grow tenfold. “get up I’ll help you if you need me.” He added cheekily with a wink, already dragging James up with him. James let him get manhandled. He was too tired anyway. He recalled everything just to make sure he wasn’t imagining it. He pinched himself and let out a yelp when it hurt. “What happened?” Martin turned to look at him. “just making sure that this is real.” James answered with a shrug.
A palm lifted his face. He didn’t even have the time to process the situation when Martin leaned down and bit his lip. “Real enough?” James shoved him away. “stupid fucker. It hurts.” James touched the part where it was stinging. Martin was too proud of himself to feel bad. “Just ask me next time. I’d be gladly willing to ensure if its real.” James just glared at him. “you know what I’m taking back everything I said. Die sucker.” He started to walk towards his room angrily. Martin followed him with a laugh. He grabbed his wrist and turned James around to face him. He leaned down and kissed him slower this time. “I’ve been waiting for this from wayy too long hyung. Don’t let my dog tendencies scare you yea? I’m sorry.”
“I hate you. Ugh. You insufferable dog. Fuck. I hate that I like you too much.” James pulled him closer. Kissed him hard like his life depended on it. They stumbled until they reached the room. It was a miracle that their manager didn’t hear anything. James pushed the boy away. “Leave. I need my beauty sleep.” Martin just grinned. Leaned to leave one last kiss. “Good night hyung. Dream of me.” He walked backwards like he was in some old rom-com. It made James roll his eyes. He turned to get into the room. His heart was pounding. Maybe being jealous of a cat worked after all.