Work Text:
"I've gotten the position as vice admiral on Yorktown." Jim speaks lowly, twirling the glass In hand as Bones stares blankly at his best friend. The application had gone through and starting as soon as possible, he's transferring to Yorktown. He just doesn't know how he's going to tell the rest of his crew, his bondage.
"Are you mad Jim? You're giving up the Captain's chair for a seat behind a comfortable desk? And what about Spock? The green blooded bastard loves being in Space. He's not going to give that up to wait on you hand and foot in a death trap."
Jim downs the rest the drink before speaking. He's thought about this a lot and he can't ask that of Spock.
"I'm not asking him to."
▪▪
He's standing in front of the senior officers. The ones he knows will spread the word about it, about him leaving.
"You're wondering why I've called you all here." Jim gulps. He's not in his Captain's clothes, instead he's dressed in black with a jacket that belonged to Spock. His Commanding officer is next to him. His eyes are narrowed at Jim. He's been blocking their bond and Spock hasn't felt anything between them. If it bothered him, the Vulcan didn't say anything to Jim about it. Bones stares blankly at his friend, already knowing what was going to be said and glances at Spock, he had no idea.
"Of course sir." Nyota says slowly. Her eyes are focused slowly on Jim as though she knows this isn't something good.
Jim shakes his head. "And this isn't just me, but if you all want... I don't know how to say it...."
A warmth floods Jim's hands as he looks down and sees Spock's hands covered with his. A comforting gesture. Even though he's about to break Spock's heart.
"Say it Captain." Sulu encourages. He knows that Sulu misses Ben and their daughter. If Jim is being selfish then his crew can be too. This would be good for all of them to want out after Jim does.
"I'll.... I've put in a transfer. I'll be heading to Yorktown for a position as Vice Admiral as soon as possible and if any of you want to head back to earth or anywhere... I can't stop you."
There's silence. Spock's hand is gone and Jim feels cold all of a sudden.
"We love the enterprise sir." Nyota states. "We thought... This was our five year mission. What are you... you're our captain."
Jim stands. "Not anymore. I've talked it over and it's been agreed that Commander Spock will now be the captain aboard the enterprise effective immediately. Now if there aren't anymore questions, you are all dismissed. Spread the word to the other crew members if you must."
He leaves before anyone else actually had a question. He didn't think it would hurt. He didn't think that they would be this upset. He was a good captain but he wasn't the best. He knew that deep down. He has messed up plenty of times. The whole issue three years ago with Khan plays in his mind as he makes his way to his quarters.
The doors doesn't close and he knows why.
"How can you make this decision without consulting me first Jim?"
"Please Spock. Not now. I need to pack." He moves towards the closet, pulling out all his clothing and tossing them onto the bed. He pulls his suitcase out and begins packing.
"Yes now. Jim. I am your bondmate. We can't be separated."
"That's not true. And you know it. We will be fine as long as I keep my mind open to yours. It's not... it's just for the next two years. You finish up in deep space and when you're done, your missions at more home than away. We'll still see each other."
"You're being selfish. Who's to Say I would not like to have come with you?"
Jim stops packing and turns to Spock. There's tears down his face. It stuns Spock.
"Because I know you love it."
Spock moves forward and caresses his cheek, wiping away the tears. "Not as much as you."
"The crew needs someone they're familiar with. They trust you. They need you."
"I need you." Spock's voice is low. "Please Jim."
Spock's hand brushes over the ring on Jim's left hand. The Vokaya gem feels hot under his touch. This ring was a sign Of their love. Of their commitment to each other.
"I need to do this. For me. I.... please Spock. Let me do this."
"Jim... we are Thy'la. Why would you do this?"
He doesn't want to tell him that he's depressed. Being in space for three years already has him losing his mind. He's sad, all the time. He doesn't enjoy the things that he use to. He doesn't feel the way that he use to. And he's not even sure the way that he's been towards Spock is a direct correlation of that. He just knows that he needs to get away for a while and clear his head.
"I can't tell you Spock. If you love me you'll let me do this."
"It is the simple fact that I love you that I cannot let you do this."
Jim frowns. This wasn't going to be easy. He knew that much.
"Spock. If it comes down to it, I will break the bond. Why can't you understand that I need some time away from all of this?"
Spock's composure changes. He quirks an eyebrow. "Or time away from me?"
"What?"
"That is what this is all about isn't it? You've grown tired of being with me."
Jim steps forward until the hand he forgot was on his cheek falls and laces with his.
"I could never grow tired of you. But something personal is happening and I don't want to drag you into my mess."
"We are bondmates. Married in terms of anything. I want to help you."
"And I need to be alone for this. Just give me two years and if I don't break down a door to find you and my crew then... just take care of my crew and my ship and yourself. It's just two years."
Jim leans up and kisses him on the lips.
"It's not like it's forever."
▪▪