Chapter Text
Morning had passed into early afternoon, the warm sun raising to a point high in the sky, and spilling its rays over Asgard to create a golden glow as it reflected off of every gilded surface, so brilliant as to be nearly painful to look upon. It was this view that Thor noted as he strode to the balcony railing, looking over the garden, artistic in its layout, and stables, built in the same architecture as the rest of the shining city below to see the training field just beyond where a handful of warriors beat at each other with weapons and fists, but none of them was she who he sought. By all accounts Sif should have been on the field, it seemed that she had thrown herself even more intensely into her training than she had before, which was hard to imagine, though easy to believe. The warrior goddess had always been devoted to honing her skills to a razor’s edge, and if the war with Malekith had taught them anything, it was that they had not been as prepared to battle so dangerous an opponent as they had hoped. Sif would not have taken that well, and would undoubtedly be trying to ensure that it never happened again. Granted, he had not known this for himself, but had heard secondhand as he had searched for her. Nearly everyone he had spoken to knew of her increased devotion to the grassy training field, and yet he had not, that truth raked a sense of guilt to life.
He had a valid excuse, Jane would be faced with several challenges before being allowed to remain in Asgard, and he had been working hard to help her prepare. It was a big job that had left him preoccupied, and was also the reason that he was seeking Sif today. Who better to teach Jane her weapons basics? He was finding himself to be a poor teacher and not particularly good at grasping the challenges a woman had with learning to compensate for a lack in physical strength. Unfortunately she had been nowhere to be found, not in her rooms, the great hall, the kitchens; everyone had recommended that he look on the field despite it being late enough in the day that the majority of the warriors would have dispersed, the field in use for only those who wished to battle out a grudge. She was in none of those places, nor was she in the barn; both of her horses were still stalled and munching on hay. It was possible that she went off on foot, but was unlikely, when Sif headed off away from the palace, it was usually to one of her favorite places that were reached much more easily on horseback.
With a sigh, bordering on irritation, but only because of the tendril of concern that was twisting itself around the guilt that had already asserted itself, Thor pushed himself away from the balcony and headed back inside. There was one place that he had not searched for her, but the likelihood that she would be there was slim to none. Moving through the wide corridors of the palace, Thor nodded a greeting to the few people he encountered, then paused before the library entryway. Sif hated the library, but she had occasionally ventured inside in search of validation for specific battle tactics, and he had run out of ideas as to where she could have gone. He searched the stacks, starting at the far end and working his way back to the entryway, which was no small job, Asgard boasted an impressive library indeed. The raven haired warrior was nowhere to be seen, and Thor moved to the archives, what little hope he’d had in finding his friend dwindling to nothing as he did.
The archives were empty save one, and Thor approached him warily, their relationship still battered into something barely recognizable, and possibly beyond mend. Loki did not set down the huge, leather bound tome that he read from, did not really even look up from it save a flickering of emerald spark seen for no more than a fraction of a moment before his attention turned back to the words upon the mouldering pages of the ancient book.
Thor let out a slow breath before clearing his throat. “I am looking for Lady Sif, perchance have you seen her down here?” The question came out far more awkwardly than the thunderer had hoped for, and his brows drew together into a scowl to counter Loki’s expression of amusement.
“You seek the Lady Sif in the library?” Loki’s chuckle was low, dark. “You would be far better off looking on the training field, rumor has it that she has wed her glaive, and dances with it the majority of her days.” His smile was all teeth, a viper’s expression as it prepared to strike.
It was words nearly identical to those, spoken to the warrior goddess herself, which had once earned Loki a broken nose and a sword at his throat, and it was that memory that sprung to Thor’s mind at the hearing of them. “Should you wish to keep your head, I would advise you to keep such ridiculousness to yourself.” He rubbed a large, calloused hand over his face. “I have already looked there, I have looked everywhere.”
Something flashed in Loki’s eyes then, and he returned his attention to the book in his hands, responding almost as an afterthought, bored. “Then perhaps she has found herself a flesh and blood lover to while her time away with.”
“…Perhaps you are right.” Thor answered after a fashion. It was a reasonable explanation, but did not sound like Sif, in all the centuries he had known her, he had not once known of her to have want of a relationship. She avoided all talk of such things, and met advances with ice and steel. Still, he had never imagined that he would make a mortal his wife; if he could do something so out of character, why couldn’t Sif?
~
After Thor had left, Loki had been unable to continue reading, his own words coming back to haunt him. It was unlikely for it to have been true, Sif was nothing if not particular in her tastes, and he could not imagine that she would warm the bed of any of the fools that tread Asgard’s halls. Perhaps, he thought, that was his own vanity talking. Regardless, it was concerning to him that she had simply gone missing, and he had spent the rest of the afternoon looking into it himself, finding Thor’s words to be true, she was not to be found.
He awoke early the next morning, his dreams as troubled as ever, but it was not visions of the Other, or Thanos that threatened peaceful sleep. Some memories are strength, they remind you of who you are, give you something to brace against when you feel lost, and others make you weak, bringing attention to your failures and the uselessness of wondering what might have happened if things had been done differently. The memories that invaded his sleep were most definitely of the latter.
He took his time getting ready, there was no chance that he would miss her should she be on the training field. Sif had always spent many hours a day on her skills, even before her newfound obsession with pushing herself to exhaustion, and made his way out of the palace. No one acknowledged him, none of that was a surprise, he was the fallen prince, allowed free of his cage only because he’d managed to make use of himself in defense of the realm; however he was far from free, his magic was bound, trapped just beyond his reach by a silver collar, decidedly at odds with the gold he usually wore. Dwarf-forged, and engraved with the complicated runes of ancient magic, and Loki wondered where Odin had come to find such a powerful tool.
Little time was needed to find that Sif was not among the warriors on the field, and his jaw clenched at finding her to be neglecting her own habits. Surely his irritation had nothing to do with concern, and even less to do with jealousy at the thought that she might have found a way to move on without him. Though, damn the Norns, it would be almost fitting were that true, he had found a great deal of satisfaction in the outcome of the war against Malekith. Sif had gotten what she deserved. His raven warrior had chosen Thor over him, turned her back on him, and disobeyed his royal command, and in repayment, Thor had chosen Jane over her, been willing to sacrifice the life of his most loyal friend to save his mortal love. It was all almost poetic until now.
Much as Thor had done the day before, Loki searched all of Sif’s regular haunts, and came up just as empty as the thunderer had. Still the thought of Sif in another’s arms made his skin itch beneath his clothes, an irritating prickle that refused to let him be, and he went a step farther than Thor had done. This time of day the warrior wing of the palace was conveniently empty as most of them were training together, the abandoned hallway perfect for giving Loki a chance to break into her room without an audience.
Once, long ago, he had placed wards on Sif’s chambers, and even now he could feel the remaining magic, washing over him, testing the intruder, but it was he who had put them there, and they would not deny him entry now. He glanced over at the heavily paneled sitting room, the far wall as riddled with slash marks as ever, but where Sif was usually obsessive about caring for her blades immediately after abusing them, usually by burying them hilt deep in the thick wood, two of them still remained, sticking out of the walls and forgotten.
Loki frowned, moving across the room toward them, fingering the handles before chastising himself for caring. She had made it perfectly clear that whatever might have been between them was long forgotten, and he was a fool for expecting anything else. He moved through her rooms, making note of what was there, and what was noticeably missing, and was able to conclude with a great deal of certainty that Sif was not on Asgard, but had gone off questing. This knowledge did nothing to ease the knot of concern that had disobediently wound itself around his ribs and found purchase near his heart, but instead, strengthened it. Thor was with his mortal, and he had only just seen the Warriors Three on the field, so she was alone. Sif hated to be alone.
He stalked back through the palace, servants and members of the court alike scurrying out of his way, as he made his way to the royal wing where Thor was undoubtedly holed up with Jane, trying to teach her about Asgard’s customs and history so that she might hope to be accepted by Odin and his council. His fist came up to rap sharply on the heavy door, and a long moment later it was opened by Jane herself, her eyes widening in surprise and alarm to see Loki standing before her.
“Uh, Thor?” She called over her shoulder, obviously uncomfortable with the idea of letting the trickster in. In response, Loki bared his teeth at her in a predatory grin and pushed past the tiny mortal into the room. “Hey!” she cried, just as Thor appeared.
“Loki!” He said surprised before his expression darkened. “What are you doing here?” The unspoken part of the question being that he was not welcome.
The trickster gave the thunderer a long suffering look. “It was you, was it not, who asked me about the shield-maiden’s whereabouts, and it is I who has learned that she is no longer on Asgard.”
Jane looked between them, the steel that edged Loki’s voice was hard not to notice, and she felt as if she had missed something important. “I thought you guys left Asgard pretty often to, you know, hunt and pick fights with monsters or something.”
Both of Asgard’s princes looked at her then, and if looks could kill, Loki would have rendered her lifeless.
Her hands rose in as a gesture of surrender, but the look she shot Thor was anything but resigned. “Forget I said anything.”
Thor sighed, his expression turning apologetic in response to her anger, but he soon shifted his gaze back to Loki. “Where did she go? The Warrior’s Three are here, and I cannot imagine who else she might have taken with her.”
Making a show of scratching his neck, long fingers brushing against and catching on the silver collar that contained most of his magic, Loki raised his eyebrows at Thor. “And how, exactly, do you think I might discern where she has gone? In any case, I do not care where Sif is, perhaps your father can shed some light on her whereabouts.”
“I would think that Lady Sif can take care of herself, does it really matter who went with her?” The whole exchange was making Jane uncomfortable, obviously she didn’t know much about the dynamics of the group of warriors she knew had once spent many of their days together, but she had seen the woman fight, what were they worried about?
“Lady Sif is very capable of taking care of herself, it is only that her leaving alone is… not something I would expect her to do. I shall speak with the Allfather. He will know where she has gone, if nothing else.” He gave Loki a level look, knowing his statement, not to care about her whereabouts, to be a lie, otherwise he would have never made the effort to learn of her leaving at all. He was not fool enough to say so outright, but he did give Loki an opening, no matter his distrust of the trickster, he was still his brother. “Will you accompany me, Loki? He may ask how you learned of Sif’s absence.”
In a voice heavy with irritation, Loki responded as he eyed Jane contemptuously. “Very well, but make this quick, I have other matters I would prefer to attend to.”
Thor nodded to Loki and smiled at Jane, capturing her hand with his. “I shall return shortly, Lady Jane, now is as good a time as any to take a break anyway. Are you hungry? I could have some food sent up from the kitchens while I am away.”
She ignored Loki’s rolling eyes and shook her head. “Nah, I’ll be fine, just hurry back.”
“I shall, my Lady.” He kissed the back of her hand and gave Loki a warning look as he growled in annoyance.
~
Together the Princes, one dark, the other golden, traversed the short distance from Thor’s living spaces to the throne room where Odin would soon be concluding court. They did not speak with one another, and though Thor was curious about Loki’s concern for Sif’s whereabouts, he dared not ask.
The Einherjar that guarded the throne room said nothing to either of them, silently throwing open the heavy golden doors to allow them entrance, and they both passed into the cavernous room just as wordlessly.
Odin watched them approach, surprised and heartened to see them together, even if he would never say anything to let them know as much. “My sons.” He addressed them, his voice echoing off the high ceilings of the room. “What brings you to me?”
“Lady Sif brings us here.” Thor rumbled as Odin’s single eye fell upon him. “It came to our attention that she is not here, and we wondered if you might know where she had gone?”
“Of course I know where she has gone.” He replied almost flippantly, “Lady Sif is where I sent her.” As if that was explanation enough; he watched the two of them exchange a look, and he was reminded of their younger years, a reminiscence that brought a wave of melancholy, though the King ignored it.
Thor’s brow furrowed in confusion. “You sent Sif out… alone? That is irregular.”
Odin gave his heir a level look. “Who should I have sent with her, I wonder? The Warriors Three have only just returned from Alfheim after being away for weeks. They worked hard to end a rebellion and deserve a little time to themselves. I cannot send any random warrior to accompany the Goddess of War, I prefer my warriors to return to me intact.” He looked at Loki, his disappointment clear. “I can send you nowhere until your punishment concludes.” His hand tightened around Gungnir as he addressed Thor. “And it would have been heartless for me to send you with her.”
“Lady Jane would surely have understood had I explained…” Thor trailed off as both Odin and Loki gave him looks that indicated that he was far off track, and he looked between them, bewildered. “I do not understand.”
“Which is absolutely no surprise.” Loki growled, and Odin offered him no better explanation.
“Neither of you need worry about Lady Sif, she has been performing tasks for me, on her own, since the conclusion of the war with Malekith.” He let the silence stretch, giving that information time to sink in.
Thor had the sense to look abashed at least, replying slowly. “I see.”
“Do you? You never see anything.” Loki growled at him.
“It is not as if you noticed her absence either!”
Loki scoffed, turning to leave. “She is not my friend.”
Thor and Odin watched Loki retreat together until the gilded doors closed behind him, and Thor looked back at his father, Loki’s barb cutting deeply. “If I have wronged her, it was entirely unintentional, but I should have been more attentive.”
Odin regarded him silently, carefully weighing what he would say next to his oldest son. “Lady Sif has always been loyal to you, even to her own detriment, and right now she needs time to heal. That is all you need know about it. Go back to your Lady Jane, she has much to prepare for if she hopes to remain here.” And with that, Odin dismissed Thor by turning his back on him, returning to his place atop the golden throne.